to take up the topic of what we do with our, how we approach our feelings and our mental states, how we deal with such items as anger, discontent, how we get caught by our feelings and mental states and objects of mind, bodily dispositions, and how we approach this with Buddhist meditation or Dharma understanding.

[01:11]

Last week, the morning of the Peace March in San Francisco, I gave my talk and the question came up, something like, if you use passive resistance, how will passivity do something positive? And I said something like, passivity, or passive resistance is not passivity. So, I think it might be a better term to say peaceful resistance, because passivity implies peacefulness. And if we say passive, of course people go limp, you know, that's true.

[02:20]

But peaceful, I think, covers a larger area. Peaceful resistance is a positive act. Ideally, as someone who studies Buddhadharma, or is a Buddhist, so to speak, The goal of Buddhism, one goal of Buddhism, is peacefulness. And peacefulness means freedom. So, if we want to express freedom, if we want to turn the world toward freedom rather than enslavement, then we have to practice freedom.

[03:22]

We have to practice peacefulness. As we say, we have to embody peace. So, this is a great challenge for everyone. How do you embody peace in the face of anger, hypocrisy, lies, and aggression. Difficult, but not impossible. Not at all impossible. There are many great examples. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, these people who have been in the midst of great catastrophic environments and still maintained their integrity and stayed centered on their peaceful mind are great examples for us.

[04:47]

And both of these people have changed the world in some way. Gandhi certainly changed the world, even though he opened up the ocean. But then after someone killed him, the ocean came back again. That happens. But as Buddha said, Peace breeds peace and aggression breeds aggression. It's important to examine our own actions and our own mind and our own feelings.

[06:04]

This is the only way actually. Buddhist meditation is to examine the body, the body in the body. the feelings in the feelings, the mental states in the mental states, and the objects of mind in the objects of mind. So we can respond to acts rather than react to them. There's a big difference between responding and reacting. When we face aggression and lies and hypocrisy, anger arises in us. And we have to realize, anger has arisen in me because of this.

[07:12]

That's the first step, is to realize anger has arisen and this is the reason. and to look at what that is. If we just allow anger to arise and then react in some way, we are caught by the anger. So anger becomes the controlling factor. So it's so easy to get caught up in anger and then allow anger to be the controlling factor and in that way we've lost our freedom. As soon as anger becomes the controlling factor we've lost our freedom and then we're under the domination of angry mind or angry feelings.

[08:21]

So we have to continuously examine those feelings and those states of mind. And the positive side is to know how to respond to anger or how to respond to the object of anger. Because the object of anger is a mental object. Our whole world is mind made. And we create our world through our feelings, through our mental states, and through the way we either respond or react. Reaction is taking hold of something. And when you take hold, you may think, I have this, but this also has you.

[09:25]

Everything we take hold of has us as well as we have it. So when we respond with anger or with ill will of some kind, that ill will is attached to something. So this means clinging. Clinging brings up self. And self is the underlying cause of suffering. So suffering is important for us. We all need to suffer in order to know what it is and how to not be attached to it. So we become attached to our suffering, we become attached to our anger, we become attached to our desires.

[10:32]

In order to bring peacefulness into the world, what is peacefulness? In Buddhism, peacefulness means nirvana. It means the absence of greed, the absence of ill will, the absence of delusion. It means generosity, kindness and wisdom. So responding is when we come from the place where we are, where we live. In other words, if we are always centered on Buddhadharma. If that's the place where we live, then that's the place where our responses will come from.

[11:39]

When push comes to shove, and you have to make a response, you respond from the place where you live, from the place where you live, no matter what you're thinking about or what you dream about, you respond from the place where you live. So, that's why it's so important to live in practice, to base your life on practice. So, you know, there are meditations on loving kindness, meditations on compassion, meditations on peacefulness. And these meditations are, if we practice them over and over, they become a part of us. And then when you respond, you respond because you respond through, with those

[12:55]

from that place, because that's who you are. You can only respond really from who you are, from the place where you are and who you are. So, it's very important to cultivate A loving kindness, compassion, and wisdom. And to balance them all the time. So when we have a confrontation of some kind, when we're confronted with something which is difficult for us, how do we respond to that without being caught by what we're responding to, without acting in the same way?

[14:28]

without saying an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth, without acting with revenge or acting out of aggression, because aggression breeds aggression, revenge breeds revenge. A hit breeds a hit. So for someone who practices for everyone, actually, but specifically, you know, to always respond with wisdom and with compassion and with loving kindness. So they were always bringing that into the world. Some people say, well, there were 100,000 people in that march, maybe, or maybe 150,000, or maybe 200,000. The big question was going on all week. How many people were there? Oh, 50,000. The police say 50,000. Everybody else says 150,000. Well, it's not so important how many people were there.

[15:32]

And then the analysts say, well, you know, of course, there were a lot of people, but, and in Washington, and in Europe, and so on. But, you know, it doesn't really make a lot of difference, because the administration is going to do what they do anyway, you know, they're not going to really pay attention to you. No comment. So it won't really have much of an effect. But that's not true. big effect. Big effect. But the effect is not candy. The effect is like water. It's very pervasive. It's not a sweet hit. It's very pervasive and basic change in the world. And that influence of that act has far-reaching implications, far-reaching effects.

[16:53]

It encourages people who are hesitant to speak out. It encourages people who are hesitant to know what they're thinking, to decide what they're thinking. and what they're feeling, and to wake people up to the fact that there are problems and that people are concerned about them, a lot of people. Very powerful. Very powerful. But in the short term, it may or may not look like it's so powerful. But underneath, it's very powerful. Sometimes people say, well, what about sitting Zazen? How is that helping the world?

[17:57]

People often tend to think that helping the world means to do something overtly, like changing somebody's bandages, helping the poor. That's social service. That's great. No problem. But when there is a group of people sitting Zazen, they're bringing nirvana into the world. They're bringing peace into the world. is an enclave of peace whose far-reaching aura is incalculable. You can't see it. It settles the neighborhood.

[19:02]

It settles our surroundings. And each person's practice influences their surroundings and has far-reaching light. We always like to think about results. If we see a result and we think that something's happening, well, that's nice. We don't always see the immediate results of 50 people sitting, or 30 people, or 10 people. But it brings something.

[20:09]

Something is brought into the world. which is beneficial to the world. One person sitting Zazen brings a very powerful message to the world and influences the world. Gandhi, through peaceful means, defeated the British Empire. It came apart. He was the catalyst that made it collapse through non-violent peacefulness.

[21:10]

And he took a lot of blows. And a lot of the people that were with him, who followed him, took a lot of blows. But they couldn't stop it. In Cambodia, during the Vietnam War and after the Vietnam War, The Khmer Rouge destroyed the culture, took the culture apart, made everybody go into the fields. They started from zero. They said this is the first day of existence. And just totally destroyed the culture, killed three million people. and destroyed Buddhism.

[22:19]

Buddhism could not be practiced. But there were some people, like Mahagosananda, who was a very powerful monk, who just started building temples again and inviting people to come and somehow he could do that. And without any aggressiveness, without any resentments, he helped recreate the practices, Buddhist practices again. It's amazing how given the resentments and anger that would arise in people, that he could not allow that to dominate him.

[23:28]

his little book about some of his sayings that I think Alan gave it to me a long time ago. And I just looked at it yesterday. And he has some really wonderful things to say. He talks about eating. Really interesting. He says, what is life? Life is eating and drinking through all of our senses, and life is keeping from being eaten. So as I've often said, everything is eating everything else, and everything is protecting itself from being eaten by everything else. So what eats us?

[24:45]

Time. What is time? Time is living in the past or living in the future. That's an interesting statement. When you're living in the present, there's no time. If you're an artist and you're working on a painting, there's no time. You could be working for 10 minutes and it seems like 10 hours, or you could be working for 10 hours and it seems like 10 minutes. When you're sitting Zazen, totally, there's no time. But when you think about the future, there's a lot of suffering. Zazen is the great teacher. As soon as you think about the future, you start to suffer. So time is living in the past or living in the future, feeding on the emotions. Emotions are time.

[25:49]

Feelings are time. Beings who can say that they have been mentally healthy for even one moment are rare in the world. That's an interesting statement. If you think, I am mentally healthy, You should examine that. Someone says, I'm not crazy. You should examine that. Most of us suffer from clinging to pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral feelings, and from hunger and thirst. Most living beings have to eat and drink every second through their eyes, ears, nose, tongue, skin and nerves. We eat 24 hours a day without stopping. We crave food for the body, food for feeling, food for volitional action and food for rebirth.

[26:59]

We are what we eat. We are the world and we eat the world. It's interesting, we eat the world through our feelings, our emotions, our eyes, our ears. The Buddha cried when he saw this endless cycle of suffering. The fly eats the flower. The frog eats the fly. The snake eats the frog. The bird eats the snake. The tiger eats the bird. The hunter kills the tiger. The tiger's body becomes swollen. Flies come and eat the tiger's corpse. The flies lay eggs in the corpse. The eggs become more flies. The flies eat the flowers. The frogs eat the flies. and so forth. So the Buddha said, I teach only two things, suffering and the end of suffering. Suffering, eating, and feeling are exactly the same. Feeling eats everything.

[28:04]

Feeling has six mouths, the eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, and mind. The first mouth eats forms through the eye. The second mouth eats sound. The third mouth eats smells. The fourth mouth eats tastes. The fifth mouth eats physical contact. And the last mouth eats ideas, that is, feeling. Time is also an eater. In traditional Cambodian stories, there is often a giant with many mouths who eats everything. This giant is time. If you eat time, you gain nirvana. You can eat time by living in the moment. When you live just in this moment, time cannot eat you. Which reminds me of Joshu, you know, and the monk.

[29:11]

Joshu said to the monk, I can't remember what the monk said to Joshu, but Joshu said to the monk, you are turned by the 24 hours, whereas I turn the 24 hours. So when you live just in this moment, time cannot eat you. So, how do you act in a way that you don't get eaten by time? Can you actually live, totally, this life? If you react to everything, then time eats you. If you are just living in this moment with good concentration and mindfulness, you eat time.

[30:23]

I remember Suzuki once told me, just don't be beforehand and don't be after. Don't be early and don't be late. just be right on time. There's some people who cannot be on time or in time. But I sometimes get angry with them in my mind. But I have to realize, I'd rather, it's better to try to understand why that is. There's some reason why that happens. Even though I don't understand the reason why that happens, if I know that there is a reason why that happens, then I can let go of my anger. And it's the same with everything. If we understand why something happens, it's easier to let go of how we feel about something.

[31:28]

But that doesn't mean that we can't feel that way. When anger arises, it just arises. You don't call it up. But it's what you do with it. After it arises, that is the point. How to not cling to something. As soon as something arises, we either cling to it or examine it. or let it go. Examining is the response. Reacting is to cling. As soon as we react, we're caught and we're clinging. And then the suffering starts. And then we're no longer in time.

[32:32]

We're being eaten by time. Time is turning us. We're being turned. So, to examine, or to just let go. If we just let go, that could be ignoring. So, we have to be careful not to just ignore things. But to examine. This has arisen. What is it? Why does it happen? There is a reason. So, for everything there is a reason. It may not be a good reason, but it allows us to respond in an appropriate manner. Stepping back by examining allows us to respond rather than react in an appropriate manner. And then we have to think, well, what is the appropriate manner? And that comes out of our deep compassion.

[33:43]

So, he says, everything is causational. There is no you. Only causes and conditions. Therefore, you cannot hear or see. When sound and ear come together, then there is hearing. When form and eye meet, then there is seeing. But there is no you that sees or you that hears. There's simply seeing. When we sit in Zazen and look at the wall, seeing sees. If you say, I see the spot on the wall, that's not quite accurate. Seeing sees. When you hear the airplane going over, hearing hears. When there's some feeling of painfulness, feeling feels. As soon as you say, I feel, then you have a problem. When eye, form, and consciousness meet, there is eye contact.

[34:52]

Eye contact conditions feeling. Feeling conditions perception. Perception conditions thinking, and thinking is I, me, and mine. The painful misconception that I see, hear, smell, taste, touch, and think. Feeling uses the I to each shapes. If a shape is beautiful, a pleasant feeling enters the I. If a shape is not beautiful, it brings an unpleasant feeling. If we are not attentive to a shape, a neutral feeling comes. The ear is the same. Sweet sounds bring pleasant feelings. Harsh sounds bring unpleasant feelings. And inattention brings neutral feelings. Again, you may think, I am seeing, I am hearing, I am feeling, but it is not you. It is only contact, the meeting of the eye, form, and eye consciousness.

[35:58]

It is only the Dharma. A man asked the Buddha, who feels? The Buddha answered, this is not a real question. No one feels. Feeling feels. There is no I, me, or mine. There is only the Dharma. All kinds of feelings are suffering, filled with vanity, filled with I am. If we can penetrate the nature of sensations, we can realize the pure happiness of nirvana. Feelings and sensations cause us to suffer because we fail to realize that they are impermanent. The Buddha asked, how can feeling be permanent if it depends upon the body, which is impermanent? When we do not control our feelings, we are controlled by them. That's a very interesting statement. Either you control them, or you're controlled by them.

[37:02]

Control doesn't necessarily mean to... That means various things. For one thing, it means to be mindful. And, you know, sometimes we say, I will never do this, I will never do that. That's very tight control. But feelings are always burgeoning out. So some feelings we have to allow. Some feelings we control. Some feelings we control more than others. But to not let our feelings get out of hand, or control us, that's important. Because when they get out of hand, then we're controlled by them. they just turn us around. So, when we can control our feelings, then we can relax.

[38:11]

It's like, when I was at Mount Isan, I only I was on Mount Isan for 30 years, and I didn't study Isan's teaching very much. I just took care of a water buffalo. And he was a beautiful thing, beautiful creature, but he was always plowing into other people's fields, and he was always running over this, running over that, And every time he started to get out of control, I pulled him back over and over again for 30 years. And now, beautiful, what a nice creature he is. He's so calm and gentle. And he's just there in front of my eyes all the time.

[39:15]

And even if I try to push him away, he doesn't leave. This is control without controlling. To understand, if we live in the moment, we can see things just as they are. Doing so, we can put an end to all desire, break our bondage and realize peace. See things just as they are. This is what Suzuki Roshi always talked about. The main thing is to see things as it is. To understand pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral feelings, we have to put the four foundations of mindfulness into practice. Mindfulness can transform pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral feelings into wisdom.

[40:21]

So transformation is a basic Buddhist practice. are taking the raw material and turning it into wisdom. The world is created by the mind. If we can control feeling, then we can control the mind. If we can control the mind, then we can rule the world. Rule the world may not be the right translation. Suzuki Hiroshi used to say, if you can do this, you will always be the boss. Not bossing people around, not controlling things, but you will not be controlled by things. To be the boss means you will not be controlled by things, or you will not be turned around by things.

[41:23]

Nothing can upset you. This is how we assess or test a Zen student's practice by observing how they handle things that will upset them. what their true equanimity is, what their true subtleness is, how a student actually maintains wisdom and compassion, loving-kindness, and non-upset equanimity

[42:26]

without being disturbed by whatever happens. Not that they don't feel it, not that they don't acknowledge feelings and disappointments or whatever, but they maintain their calm mind in all circumstances. So if you want to know what your own progress is, examine your mind in that way. You know, something happens and one is upset, but one finds a balance right away.

[43:29]

Even though one gets upset, one finds their place. We're always falling out of balance, moment by moment, and regaining our balance. So we have to have the ability to always regain our balance and come back to zero, over and over and over. come back to that place of equanimity. Bye.

[44:32]

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