pleasure for me to be here with you. It's always a bit of a suffering that you all be leaving today. Yeah, I'm not kidding. But it's the... It's part of what happens when you have a lay practice. We don't live together. And I think as not unusually, as typically, I've tried to do too much in this seminar. But that's also a part of lay practice.

[01:06]

Because I'm, of course, practicing in a monastic way and in the context of lay practice. And so, I mean, in some ways I'm always speaking about this difference. But more specifically, I'm living this difference. Because I discover, you know, I try to say too much in these seminars, and I say much, you're not supposed to be here.

[02:08]

You're supposed to start on tomorrow or day after tomorrow. No, I'm just teasing you. I'm glad you're here. You... Oh dear, this is great. There should be some more people who sneak in. Not sneak. I'm just teasing. I think it's great you're here. In the practice week coming up, we can go a little slower. I try to do too much in a seminar like this because basically what I'm doing is it happens I don't even intend it I'm more seeding seeding than, yeah, I'm more presenting things as seeds more than as plants.

[03:23]

And maybe you don't experience the difference. And... I think I feel what you understand, but I don't know what you understand. Recently I did a seminar in Boulder at the Boulder Dharma Sangha. Twice a year I do a seminar in Boulder for the Boulder Sangha.

[04:29]

And I came directly from practice period, the first three weeks of practice period. And we had a pre-day like we did with this seminar. And I really almost couldn't do it. I couldn't figure out what to say the first day. I felt terrible. I didn't know why I was there and I didn't know why the people were there. I was like a fish flopping around on the beach out of water. It was quite terrible actually for me.

[05:30]

People were kind and they said it was interesting. But they could see what was happening and it was kind of interesting. I got it together better in the afternoon and Saturday we started to groove. But it's almost, the fish out of water is a good image. Because in practice period, there's a medium created. It's almost like you're in a fluid. that when I get into ordinary situations, the fluid's gone and I don't know how to swim or function. Yeah, I was happy enough, but I didn't know what to say.

[06:50]

My words didn't float. Or maybe there was not enough water in the room to get the ship of the Dharma floating. But by Saturday we got some water in the room. No, I'm mentioning this just because there is this difference which I'm trying to Bridge well, maybe not bridges are right. Maybe swim in in practicing in different contexts. Sometimes I feel sorry for you having to say all these funny things.

[07:55]

For instance, I might at Crestone in practice period spend two days just practicing with the difference between a position and a posture. And I'll try to say something about it before we leave today. But we can't spend two or three days just developing the sense of it. It's not better or worse, but it's a difference in how condensed the teaching is. But now let's start with your discussion yesterday. I heard quite a few people had a very active discussion and some were a little stiff.

[09:28]

Anyway, please say something to me. Yes. I'll start with Stettan. I think we also talked quite a bit about the two different terms in our discussion, and it suddenly occurred to me that what you mean by attitude I think we actually also discussed these two words or meanings that you just mentioned.

[10:37]

Posture and position? Something similar. Okay. Then, for me, it really came to be as if posture has something to do with the innermost request. This moment when it appears, which I actually don't do, but it does appear, it must already be there, and what I then, or where I then So what comes up, what happens, which I cannot do, but it comes up anyway, so it has to be there somehow. And I can then try to localize myself there. Locate.

[11:38]

Locate. Locate. So in the beginning, there is some effort. But then in the end, it's very easy and fluid. Good. Thank you. Someone else? Yes? We began exploring practice with attention and awareness, discriminating the difference between practicing. I would say the feeling of our discussion wasn't so much active as it was intimate.

[12:46]

It was turning to an intimacy amongst us. And developing a kind of shared knowing of how to work with these two approaches to experience, not just here, but how it works in our daily life. and I would say that we have come to a shared understanding of how one can work with these two approaches in practice, not only in practice but also in daily life. And in particular how it works, how it supports our daily life in difficult situations, not in the easy or pleasurable situations.

[13:52]

What supports our life in difficult situations? working with attention and awareness. And what distinction are you making between attention and awareness? Attention is directed awareness, paying attention to something. Awareness is a kind of background or a field of mind in which these circumstances are arising, are taking place, and receiving. Okay. So did I interrupt you? Did I interrupt you one more? No, thank you. No, thank you. Clarifying. And my feeling about the discussion was it was what came through the discussion was a feeling of strength.

[14:58]

Sounds good. Thanks. Yeah, I was in the same group and I would like to add something, how I experienced it. The six participants, two were native speakers of English and four not. And from that arose an experience for us who are not... I mean, we do speak English, but we cannot use words and the language as well as we can in German.

[16:17]

and there it was for me when listening and also when speaking that it was possible to experience this not tangible but so much tangible and that has created a special intimacy in this group. Through this it was possible for me to feel the ungraspable, or maybe undescribable, and it seems to me that this feeling helped to make the intimacy. Maybe one could say that a foreign language that one puts on like clothes is maybe a certain position. And the way we were in that situation, that's more the posture.

[17:31]

Yeah. I've often wondered, you know, if there is not a... at least some positive side to my disability in language. Because the way it is, you're hearing the Dharma in English and you're thinking about it in Deutsch. as well. And maybe it becomes clear that whatever the Dharma is, it doesn't exist in either language.

[18:34]

It's only partly in the languages. And if it's going to have fullness, its fullness is only going to be primarily in your experience. Someone else? Yes? I'm just coming to this topic now, that it's actually like these two cultures, the Western culture and the Buddhist vision, express themselves in me in that the wisdom sentences first come in English, but as teaching.

[19:37]

This reminds me that with these two cultures, our Western culture and the Buddhist culture, that actually the turning words or wisdom phrases, I hear them first in English. And when they turn, when they are transformed, then they are actually either in my native language or in no language. And in that way it helps me to notice when it is an experience and when it is a method. Okay, good, thanks. I have taken more questions with me as a human knowledge expert.

[20:49]

One of the questions is how far do attitudes have to do with what is referred to as faith or trust in German convictions? So I've brought with me more questions than answers. And one of my questions is, do postures have to do with what one is convinced of? Beliefs? Use? Certainly. Okay. You're asking me this question. yeah there was do postures have to do with beliefs and what one convictions well i will uh let's see when i do say something about posture and position if it fits what you're talking about okay

[21:56]

There is a second part. Oh, okay. Are mental postures always... No, that's not clear. Directional? Very set, so there is no misunderstanding. Very clear without... Unambiguous. After your seminar in Kassel, I talked a lot about vados, about turning words, and I was very encouraged to experiment with clients myself. There is one who has very busy me, his name is, the English one fits better, Distinction is Perfect Continence. Perfect what? Continence. You don't mean continence, that means you're not able to pee.

[23:02]

Continuous, or concomitant or something, yeah? Well, it's a quote from Spencer Brown. Yeah, G. Spencer Brown, yeah. Um... Well, I think just for this moment, I would define turning words as diamonds in chaos. Okay, and maybe we can come back to this. Someone else? Yes, Susanna. A little pre-history.

[24:20]

Tonight, in a somewhat sleepless wake, I was asked why there is the figure of Manjushri, of Patrya, a Buddha. Last night when I was awake, part of it, the idea came up for me how come that there is Maitreya, a Buddha, who doesn't exist yet. And even though he doesn't exist yet, somehow he does because otherwise one wouldn't know that he is supposed to come Yeah So that's kind of the prelude, I believe Yes, the prelude

[25:29]

So for me it means something exists that I cannot grasp yet or understand yet. So yesterday we looked for something, we looked maybe for some wisdom phrases To be able to see the traces To see the traces how things actually are, really are. So mental posture, what is it? Maybe that was just the question I posed.

[26:55]

And for me it means to create an inner posture. And somebody said that this inner posture maybe creates being awake or implies being awake, always exists with being awake. clearer and more brilliant. And then I remembered what you said yesterday, wonderfully, to let the golden wind do the work.

[28:02]

Okay. Now I would like to tell you a story that I brought into our group yesterday. It's about yesterday when we were talking about the rejections. I would like now to tell a story which I already told in the group yesterday and it has to do with the full prostrations we do in service or we did yesterday morning in service And so yesterday I noticed a different rhythm in the prostrations and the different rhythm came from the Duan

[29:20]

And it seemed, because I mean I don't look in that direction, I don't see, but it seemed that the duansprism was given by the doshi and in this case the roshi. and they're playing together of these two activities had an effect directly on myself and My heart opened for Roshi and for the Doan. And for all who probably felt the same as I did. That's optimistic.

[30:57]

But it's nice that you have patience with an old man's bowels. Okay, thanks. Yes? Yes? I was in the same group as Susanne and would like to add a little bit. The question we talked about and it has to do with the intensifying of the situation I don't know if one can determine whether one is in the so-called normal world or in a, let's say, more Buddhist world where there is more attention. was the question how can one know or notice whether one is more in the normal world or more in the Buddhist world with more awareness.

[32:18]

For me, it is a matter that it is expressed by a shift in my perception and the perception gets more intense in a certain sense. It can be hearing or seeing, it doesn't matter, the intensity increases. And in this context, for me, the difference is in the shift of perception, that there is a more intense perception in one of the senses. Okay. Okay. That gives me a way to start after the break. Because there are aspects of this I look forward to or I hope we can speak about in a way that's fruitful.

[33:29]

But just now I want to apologize for not attending Zazen service this morning. And I apologize for waking you up a little before the wake-up bell. to tell her I wasn't coming. I wasn't quite awake yet. You got me on. I'm sorry. But I didn't, I knew I should go to bed soon if I was going to be able to teach. But I spent most of the night up wondering whether we should go through with this purchase of Hotzenholz. Yeah, I mean if the owner told us or told us or me two or three years ago

[34:34]

Der Eigentümer hat mir oder uns vor zwei oder drei Jahren gesagt, That the Schreinerei, is that how you say it? The Schreinerei would be needed about two years to find another place. Dass die Schreinerei ungefähr zwei Jahre brauchen würde, um ein anderes Haus zu finden. And it's been more than two years. Since he said that. And he himself needed three years because of some legal reason having to do with his documents in his business. And those years are pretty much up to... And I was hoping he and the Shrine Array would find a way to move soon.

[35:53]

I also knew that he didn't really want to move right away. But I hoped he would. And I didn't want to force him to do it, to move, if he would, was forcible. Because it's important for me to keep a good relationship with him. However, we can't use the building effectively for another year and a half or more. And in a year and a half, I'll be 78. That's supposed to be old.

[36:54]

How old are you? Seventy-three. Oh, see, I'm already seventy-six almost this month. Yeah, but you're a young man. Yeah. And I don't know. What's it going to be like when I'm seventy-eight? Maybe I'll... Katrin will be pushing me around the wheelchair away, drooling down my heart. Katrin will be pushing me around the wheelchair away, drooling down my heart. Anyway, so the question for me is, you know, it's been my hope, even dream, since I first came to this property to get the neighbor's property, at least Hotzenholz. Because I want better places for the practitioners to live in.

[38:09]

And I want to be able to do practice periods here in Europe. I'd like the 90-day practice period to be part of our Dharma Sangha European practice. And we talked about in the first day, Friday, the concept of Ma and so forth. But it's not accidental that most of the teachers we study from China had the names of their geographical location, the mountain, the cliff, or whatever. And that... and that's largely the case because they establish a way of practicing a sort of mandala of practice in a particular place and that's the only place they can effectively practice or the place they can most effectively practice with others.

[39:57]

For one reason, because a dharmic fluid develops if you get the mandala right. Which allows teachings to be carried by the fluid. I think we did pretty well at the Haus der Stille. We had to sort of transform the place in our own way for the three weeks we used it each year. But the Dharmic fluid, I think, is more developed here, if it makes any sense what I'm talking about.

[41:13]

And also the mandala of a practice center allows a mutual understanding to be developed, mutual understanding developed, which is not necessarily better than, you know, etc., A mutual understanding which can be transmitted generationally. Okay, so I really have wanted to see if we can do that in the ideal situation as across the street. And I wanted to do an opening ceremony in July. But now I, in my mind, canceled that until he, the owner in the charniere, move out.

[42:25]

And I wanted to do some of the winter branches there, teaching in July. Is it July, I think? June in June, yeah. But there's no room big enough to do the winter branches in except the Shrine Array and it won't be available. Shrine Array. So because I hoped to be able to do this for so long, One side of me is that this is for the next 20 years or 200 years or in perpetuity. One... I say in perpetuity because one of the rules of starting a practice center is you do it in a way that it never becomes anything else.

[44:10]

It always is a practice center. It might be a different Buddhist group, but etc. So, Crestone doesn't become the Marriott Mountain Conference Center? Okay, so since that's been my hope, well, if it's 20 years or 200 years, let's just get it and hang on to it. But practically speaking, if we can't start using it for a couple of years, well, in a fundamental sense, it's not important whether I participate in two years or not.

[45:14]

But maybe it would be good if I could participate in this development. I mean, others can do it. I'm not indispensable. But still, you know, maybe it doesn't make sense. So one of the things I did in a letter in the night is I wrote a letter to him which basically says, please move soon. If he doesn't, I'll have to see how I feel. But I'm also ready to walk away from it.

[46:36]

And then those of you who have made contributions will get your money back. That will be exciting. So I don't know. Anyway, I wanted to say that I didn't want to say it before our discussion of yesterday's groups. Because I didn't want to discuss it. But I wanted to share with you how I feel and why I was up all night wondering what to do. Okay, so let's have a break.

[47:28]

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