On the Eve of Going for Refuge in the Triple Treasure 

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we're talking about them
the first great bodhisattva precepts of
going for ready in buddha
and the second quarter refuge in dharma and that there are going records for represent sanga and i'm mentioning that will be
dalai lama says something like you don't have to be religious in order to be happy or an order to be a good person
you can know
or something like that
and i agree
in other words you can you can devote your life to the welfare of others
and dead that would be the path of happiness for you
it's end and you probably will become a good person if you really are devoted to that
and if you expand your devotion to include all beings i think there'll even be more likely that you will have a happy life
and haven't had a good life and that you will be a good person

like this
you're taking pity on me
now yet
maybe later you'll take good

and i don't know if the dalai lama would say that here was a religious person i don't know if you would say yes i'm a religious person
i'm not you said but

but if you are
devoted to the welfare of all beings and
you found out that some religious people needed your help
and an order to help them you had to be religious
you might say
it being religious will help you i'll be religious
you know i give myself to religion if that would help you
and many religious people seem to be having lot of love really hard time
and the way they practice religion seemed to really be a problem for them and others
if you wish to help all being him
dealing with religion
ah yeah and in whatever way is helpful would be what you would want to do
the the english word refuge means a the route i'm in the etymology of thing which were were in refuge means to fly back
re fouquet mister fly back
so the sense and there's a sense in that were english word refuge in the etymology of it that you're going back someplace
ah in the meaning of refuge it means sort of wow
maybe what you watching where you go for
protection for safety but also
where were you want to align yourself
in a way i would say you know that the for me the idea of refuge means to go back to the truth
to return to the truth
or even to return to my home my true home
or to return to my home in truth
so is is there something which is my true homers or something which is my home
in truth
and as the ennis is buddha a reasonable word to use for that
and is the teaching of the buddha a reasonable word to use for that and is the community of the buddha or is reasonable word to use for that
my home my true home my home in truth and why wish to return to this home and truth
hum a certain perspective it looks like the fundamental precept
of the tradition is
he is buddha
and buddha can mean the person the historical person it can mean
onto a can mean enlightenment itself unsurpassed complete perfect enlightenment that can be buddha
that enlightenment appearing in a historical context as a person in human history or of history of other beings as another meaning me a buddha a third meaning a buddha is be is the transformation of beings the actual function of beings being liberated and educated
about truth that's also buddha
so there's a three three main meanings of the buddha
enlightenment perfect enlightenment the historical pair appearance of the enlightenment in a way that people who live in history can see and the transformation of beings
who meet the buddha
so those those three dimensions of buddha
and going to returning to that
means making some effort to go back to the to your home or buddha but also
going for refuge means
a commitment
a commitment to do this
i'd go for refuge and i commit to this home and i recognize that this is why i i recognize this is my home this is what i am actually going to make
my central are really only
i'm not gonna have to homes
just in supreme enlightenment just the transformation in liberation of beings that's gonna be my home i commit to that i recognize that this is my home and is of course includes all beings
i completely a included here
but this is my home and i commit to that
is this religious
somebody might say it is
and it's might be pot it is possible i think to commit to live for the welfare of others perhaps without committing
to return to the buddha that may be possible
that's some people do at this commitment to the welfare of all beings but they don't somehow think of themselves as committed to live in supreme enlightenment they are kind of committed however to live in the agenda of transforming beings
they want to live for the welfare of being there to actually living in the third
aspect of buddha the transformed the beneficial transformation of beings
so it may be the that some people ah
even though they don't say buddha that if they're actually committed to that they're actually going for refuge in that they're actually recognize that as their home in a sense that they're committing to one third of of the buddha body or one third
yeah one third of the buddha body and they maybe they don't like the historical part that have some props i may have some cultural or historical problem with the historical buddha but they're okay with them the third aspect of the buddha
these three aspects are called the one the single body aspect of the buddha
the manifested aspect of the buddha and the maintaining aspect of the buddha so i think lot of people maybe would be okay with the maintaining aspect of the buddha which is the third one
constantly adjusting the circumstances and trent image and entering into the process of transforming beings
but they have a problem with the historical buddha
and they maybe i'm not interested in
supreme perfect enlightenment
there there can be going for refuge ah
returning home could be returning home in a world away
or a world transcending way
so there can be a worldly way are going for refuge
maybe even in buddha dharma and sangha possibly a worthy way
in other words the person might be returning to buddha dharma and sangha
for the sake of being happy
have been good person
but they may not be interested in returning
the buddha dharma and sangha in a world transcending way
anna and among the world transcending ways there is traditionally two different styles
one style is called the individual vehicle
where you wish to enter into
and go for refuge in the triple treasure
in order to be personally
from the misery
birth and death
and you wish to realize
supreme perfect piece of nirvana
and the buddha
allows the buddha's allow their teaching to be used for that purpose and if you look at the historical buddha the historical buddha his first historical students were people who could receive his teaching practice it and attain personal liberation
which they were very happy about and they continued to be liberated happy beings for the rest of their lives and be very beneficial in this world
the other world transcending way
have going for refuge is called the mahayana
the universal from are great vehicle
where were we were we go for refuge in order to help self and others
and actually always putting others first
but of course in order to help others we have to help ourselves and we have to on
the in order to help others fully we had to aspire to and realize
so the my on is actually to aspired not is to aspire to buddhahood to realize buddhahood in order to help
all beings
it's world transcending
disliked the individual vehicle is rural transcending
but his world transcending in a different way it's real transcending by a totally engaging all beings in the world
where's the other path is not the same kind of commitment to totally engaged with all beings in the world it's more like study your own delusion
become free of delusion and enter nirvana or another words to understand your own some saric existence thoroughly and by understanding and realize that it's actually what was nirvana all along
which is like good news
bodhisattvas realize the same thing
but all along
they're totally devoted to be whatever people need them to be
they would even know
not be a monk
we're not practice their presets if that would help people whereas the individual vehicle they they always stay with their precepts
why not
there's no reason not to unless it would help someone but they don't commit to help others primarily and nobody asked them really
do not do it
because they know that's not their path but bodhisattvas are asked to demonstrate their non attachment to their path of liberation
and totally engaged with all beings
the people in individual vehicle generally speaking i think probably want all beings to be happy to and matter of fact individuals
vehicle teachings
are often wishing for the happiness of others and meditating on the happiness of others hoping happiness for others
so they did that practices in early teachings
but the bodyshop the vehicles little different and it might be helpful to mention that sometimes it's seen as having to aspects
they're going for refuge in marianna
the first aspect is like the causal
where the causal aspect of going for wreckage the second aspect is the ultimate
the causal a preliminary
and then the second one is the fruit for the ultimate
till the preliminary in the preliminary
even even in the mahayana you go for refuge in buddha
you go back home to your true you go back home to your truth to the truth of your life to the truth of life
which we call buddha which we call enlightenment
he go back there
and you also go back maybe to the historical buddha and the teachings of the historical buddha and teachings of the historical ancestors and you go back to the saga but you do this
with some sense of separation when you do have
you can kind of knowledge your sense of separation from the supremely enlightened state from the supremely enlightened historical manifestation
you knowledge some sense of separation from the actual process of liberating beings
you acknowledge some sense of separation from the truth there's you and the truth you acknowledge some separation from the great sanga a bodhisattvas
you start going for refuge is something you see as not yourself
this is a causal refuge
which leads to the such up the ultimate refuge the fruit that of wrath refuge the ultimate refuge where you no longer going for refuge in these things as other than yourself
and the first one you humbly admit that you you
you still do live in a world where if you feel there's some separation between yourself and others
and also that
you wish to go to
the great beings which you actually do feel some sense you have not yet attained
that state about are being as the great ones
and you aspired to become like the great ones you're inspired to do the practices of the great ones with be
so for example just talking to someone who said term well
i know this have any anyway
what came up in a conversation was
that one might aspire
one might be dropped called upon
and wish to respond when might feel called upon and wished to endeavor
the practice all virtues for the welfare of all beings one might wish to do that and one might try
one might wish to when might want to live with the welfare of all beings and one might try
and at the beginning of the practice i've i usually suggest
try to practice all virtues for the welfare of others without any expectation that you will be able to practice them
or that it will be beneficial to others
i wish what i'm saying now i want what i'm saying to be beneficial to others
and i want to have no expectation that it will be beneficial to others
and i wanted and i want to be even more enthusiastic about offering this because i don't expect that it will be beneficial
and if i find out or that seems like it's not beneficial
because i don't have an expectation that it will be i still want to continue to live for the welfare and benefit of others but if i expect that what i'm saying now is beneficial and you tell me one of you tell me or all of you tell me that it's not beneficial
that i really am not helping you that what i'm saying is really
unskillful and harmful
well since i didn't expect it it wasn't any of those bad things when i find out that it is i arrived i say thank you now i want to try again
i still want to try even though
it looks like a nice successful looks like a not successful looks like a successful but i didn't expect that i would be i just wanna be
or i just want what i'm doing to be helpful now i find out it's not how my try again i'm not discouraged
the path of helping others is a path upon which we do not what really want to be discouraged to do this practice we want to be encouraged
to help others so
not expecting to be helpful will help us
now if you don't want to try it can maybe should expect to do it
if you should expect yourself to live for the welfare of others if you don't want to
but naturally that doesn't seem to work so i forget that
but if you want to live for the welfare of others
if you wanna be happy and you want others to be happy if you want to be free and you want others to be free then live your life expressed a desire with no expectation
that you are going to be the helper that what you're doing gonna be helping and that the and under some helped that some there's some help ease
don't expect it
and again the district of the great vehicle is to be devoted to the welfare of others without know without clinging to helper helped for helping
i'm not having as an expectation goes along with not cling to any part of the process
the totally immersed in the process throw yourself into the buddha
throw yourself into the process of benefiting beings without any clean to any particular position in the picture
embracing all the different positions
with no attachment being devoted to all the different positions in all the different relationships with no attachment and no expectation
and this should be extremely joyful
and it is not
we should try to find a way for to be straight extremely devout it's extremely joyful without expecting that it will be joyful just realize it needs to be
just like you realize being need to be helped beings need to be benefited and i don't expect that there will be and i still wanna do this thing which i know which i feel the need for i'm totally devoted to this thing i feel the need for without an expectation that i'm gonna get my needs met
again and again and again and again and again
i'm rewarded for feeling the wish to help others with no expectation by wishing by give by having the feeling again
but if i wish for the welfare of others and i'm not careful to make sure i'm not expecting anything that i may wish in the next moment i may wish to punish them because they didn't say thank you
but if i offer my life with not and be careful about the way offered i'm offering it but but i don't expect anything
i want us to help you but i'm not attaching to being helped and you say that was really unhelpful i say may i try again they say no may i try again know will you shut up yes
now we have the ceremony coming up tomorrow where people
i could potentially leap
into this amazing commitment
to be totally devoted to all beings commit
the total devotion to all beings with no expectation
and ah as part of that
commitment to buddha
commitment to all beings we also committed these precepts
to help us actually
we devoted with no expectation
and another part of the ceremony is is that
in the ceremony we practice confession
and repentance and then after practicing it
we asked the
or denounce those who are on core plunging into this path we asked them if they will continue this practice
of confession and repentance from now on
and even after realizing
the ultimate fruit
and they usually say yes
so i deduced from this over and over
the in practicing the precepts of compassion
part of the practice of the precepts of compassion is the practice of confession and repentance
and what what what might we be practicing confession repentance of
not practicing the precepts which we've committed to slipping up
but there's no need to practice confession repentance unless as you continue to be committed to these precepts
if i forget if i get distracted from returning to my true home if i forget to return to the transformation of all beings into happy beings if i forget that then i confess it and i'm sorry
and i try again
if i tried and if i didn't forget but i just was maybe didn't forget but i wasn't careful in the way i was trying to help beings i was trying to help i didn't forget i'm trying to help people but i wasn't careful
or i was i was trying to help beings but i thought i was a little better than the beings i was helping
i thought wanna help or near the help and i'm just happened to what can i say i'm better than you
i'm to help you to you i thought that i was trying to be helpful but then i also went against that precept i didn't forget being helpful i forgot that precepts so i confess i was putting myself up i thought it was superior to you
where i was trying to be helpful and then i lied in the middle of trying to be helpful i thought it would be helpful lie and i find out
i live in noise lying actually at the time now i find out of lying and i'm sorry
or i did lie
i knew i was lying and i did it because i thought to be helpful and i find out it wasn't and i'm sorry
and i or i was lying and i was lying because i thought he'd be helpful and now you tell me it's helpful and i hear you and i won't try again
and again and i'm not saying i that when you tell me i am hopeful that i think i am
i don't expect the when people tell me i'm hopeful that i that that means and helpful i don't expect that
i know there's always something
lacking in my understanding
what again if you feel called to live for the welfare of all beings
and you wish to respond in the affirmative
you wish to commit yourself to that call
and then you practice that way and you can't tell if you're becoming any more skillful
you still want to try even know you haven't gotten any better
i think the bodhisattva says yes
a son it seems like i haven't gotten any better at practicing the bodhisattva path and i still want to try
what can i use the image of i want to climb the mountain of the bodhisattva path but i don't i don't seem to have i seem to be at the same altitude i was at the beginning
however every step i've taken
which has led me not to move up the mountain at all
i did with no expectation i did just as a gift to all beings i took many steps i haven't made any progress and i still want to keep walking
i've got nowhere and i'm full of joy and i want to continue not necessarily continue to get nowhere if i happened to get up the the mountain bit that be cool but it's cooled down here at the bottom two because every step i take every step i don't take when i take a step i take it for this wonderful purpose when i don't take a step is for the same reason
with no expectation
and if i spend my whole life
and make no progress
i will be very happy because i was because i was happy every moment of my life because i was always giving my life to others and getting feedback from them that i had made no progress
and that i was the really totally unhelpful
and ah and one of the ways i've made no progress was the thought crossed my mind that i must be really kind of some kind of a superior person because nobody else gets that much negative feedback as me
so i must be kind of in some way very standing
which is another sign that i haven't made any progress

and what comes to my mind is that one of the
i don't know what to call him but anyway one of the zen teachers
who lived in japan during that last century we had
he also lived in the previous one for little while he lived in the nineteenth twentieth century died in ninety sixty five his name was silky kodo
and roshan they called
when he died there was a newspaper article about him and it says you know
blah de blah zig zen master
wastes life practice exam

epic and i heard about that the newspaper article from category russia
japanese newspaper ad
and i heard about that from kind of gear rush in category she said as that's pretty good
it was jobs in zazen is to live
in the present right
for the welfare of all beings that was doesn't it's our practice is to be present
an unmoving
and make this present unmoving person or gift offered the welfare of all beings at our practice and he wasted his whole life doing
and lot of people appreciate him just wasting his life practices eyes and practice with living for their welfare lot of people appreciate it so we gotta take a newspaper article written about him any and he has to know
a lot of the people is an in this world today are look to him as their ancestor they're also at the i hope for practicing the same way he did
is giving their life throwing your life away for the welfare of others without accomplishing anything
just the welfare of others that's it
with only a without any expectation would that would look like and trying again and again moment by moment living that way
and when you're that way up
without expecting this
there are expecting that you're gonna get feedback you will get me back he don't have to expect to get feedback to get it
if you expected back you'll also get it
however if you don't expect feedback can you get it you have a good chance of welcoming if you do expect it makes it harder doesn't mean you can't
yeah you expect positive feedback and you're good at the a will thanks that's fine
but if you have no expectation of feedback you will get the don't help you get feedback that will help you get a wider selection that will help you be joyful for the welfare of all beings not them for yourself joyful for them without an inspection without any expectation that you will
be joyful for them
so this is a path week we can give ourselves to him
which you know starts with
going for refuge
for the welfare of all beings going back home for the welfare of all things
and committing to that place to that way and recognizing and honoring that way a bee
so committing to it but also kind of like
admitting and recognizing that you've committed to don't keep it a secret let people know what what most important to you
so again they can give you feedback on how unhelpful you are because you know you told me want to be helpful so they wanted where you want to be helpful well you're not
you do you want to know that right yes thank you
since you want to help people i thought you might want to know that you're not
that that's right theoretically
it this particular case you you're not welcome to say so but
usually that's the case with most people it's the case but not with you
you don't give it the right way
just kidding just kidding
i hope that was helpful

yeah so you're welcome to
give negative feedback
you're welcome to give positive feedback in the form of may not be helpful
think about
yeah enjoy is kind of a homing signal right the afternoon yeah
by one detail about that is joy as a homing signal from bodhisattvas in the middle of
tremendous suffering
so the live in this huge
world of suffering beings
and they feel a lot of pain and they enjoy as are homing signal about how to be in the middle of the ocean of suffering beings
so in the midst of impermanence and disease and suffering which they feel and which they feel tremendous compassion for
joy is part of the compassion that kind of keeps him in the right with the compassion is possible to have compassion i think without joy
i think it's still qualify analogy if you feel sympathy with people and wanna live with their welfare and wanna be devoted to them that still contents compassion but your little off if you don't kill joy i again i did some etymological study of the to
baton word i mean the sanskrit word for
compassion and mostly the sanskrit word has to do with in a pity and pain and passion and ensuring pain feeling pain by think maybe the tibetan translation of it that the dalai lama again pointed to the etymology of the tibetan
is dented happiness
compassion is basically
was basically i mean it is truly the greatest joy compassion is the greatest joy is much greater than any worldly joy
really joyous not use theirs world enjoy like people speaking well of you people tell you that your helpful people telling other people that your help
you know getting things you want
you know
this that this desert these are joy
but the joy of compassion is incomparably greater
but it's gotta it got lots of dense in it the dense or the suffering of all beings
and even in the even in the individual vehicle tax about practicing compassion like the building of a maga when talking about to pack developing loving kindness and compassion and sympathetic joy and equanimity when talking about compassion the work i think
the near well the i think there's a near and afar and enemy and i can't know which was near but i think the near the enemy of compassion is attachment
and the
and the the transition i have is that is the far enemy or whatever his depression
so again you when you're practicing compassion you're not supposed to get discouraged it's you should be doing it right it should be joyful
even though you feel pain
it doesn't help people for you to become despondent
unless you being disbanded to help them i'll put the despondent thing on and to see if i can find joy there
have you responded i'll try on despondent for you joyfully i'll i'll be despondent with you try to feel and try to empathize okay i got here okay now i'm with you and i'm feeling enjoy would you like to learn how to do it
so ah
i'll check out that to the the thing by with it but i thought it was attachment and a depression
so back to you

yeah well that's one of the
that's one of these about being a zen student is just not supposed to move
so we practice compassion first of all we sit still we don't move and then without moving we find it we don't go someplace else to find it so again now i was
i was quoting edward content to somebody this morning that he talked about that though the way that a body sought that can be devoted to the welfare of all beings while understanding that there's no beings being devoted to the welfare of all beings and vowing to take them all to nirvana and also understanding that there's no beings
knowing know how does it and although i take an innumerable beings to nirvana i understand that there's no beings taken to nirvana and caught and cons of called that the my on a miracle that bodhisattvas make this vow to save all beings
without grasping any beings after devoted to that's my america another thing he said was he said this is what he said i'm not saying this is true but he said the tibetan monks sit and end up and chat on many pet move on to manifest the compassion of ability to
as for the zen monks sit
and i just sit to manifest the compassion of popular good test for they don't do anything they don't do any to bring it and they don't go to it they just sit and open to it and let it fill them so don't move to find compassion it's right here
it is right here with us don't go find some other people they help help us because we're here but we're not here dont dont get help when you are some other people say well i gotta help those people over know board not help the people you're with helped people in your face help yourself
don't move
i was only you can talk about
life and guardsmen were

well they might find failure and sense of i've heard of all i heard all these investors were failures so i must maybe i'm not so bad
or i'm glad i feel failure because now if i can find some joyful way to deal with my failure i can i can be of assistance to all the other people who are feeling failure who are downtrodden by it and crushed by it so like
actually feel this like i have really failed and like if i can find some way to be not move with that and be at peace with that and relax with that then i i know i i will be able to help other people will feel that if i have no problems to test my practice with
ah and also to show other people how to do it
what let that will limit so yeah so if you feel like a failure
that's something
to be patient with
to be relaxed with to be gentle with
do not try to control like try not traded in for for success just
this is what's happening now a sense of failure
i've been a boy sought for for example for a friend
and then if you can be that way with this with this such a failure you won't dwell on it