Good morning. A monk asked Master Kyorin, what's the meaning of Bodhidharma's coming from the West? Kyorin said, sitting long and getting tired. This is the third day, and just about this time, the specter of doubt creeps in to our practice.

[01:04]

Why did I do this? What am I doing here? What's going on? This is boring. I thought I had an idea about this, but now I don't understand it at all. That's pretty good. Not understanding is very good. and then we start doubting the practice. Foolish as I am, I've never doubted the practice, I've only doubted my ability. How can I do this?

[02:12]

That's always been my question. I've never had the question of, what is this? My question has always been, how can I do this? So I'm still doing it with that question. It's always been, it's still my question, how can I do this? So that keeps me from straying too far. I don't say I don't stray, but it keeps me from straying too far. I remember my teacher saying, isn't it difficult enough for you? If you can't find something more difficult, you should do that. So I just took up the challenge.

[03:23]

So actually, Suzuki Hiroshi's practice is quite simple. Just face the challenge. Just face the challenge that's in front of you. That's really the whole thing. Everything else is just commentary. Doubt is good. Doubting is good because it helps you to question the practice, and helps you to question yourself, and it helps you to question the question. This is the nature of Buddhadharma. There are two different ways to question. Question can come from just not knowing or it can come from doubt.

[04:40]

Question that comes from not knowing is simply to learn, to find out something. Question that comes from doubt has two parts. One is doubting and the other is skepticism. Skepticism is like, I don't believe it. Doubt is more like, well, there's something that is not quite clear and needs to be clarified. So you doubt and practice at the same time. And you practice with your doubt. And your doubt is kind of like a grain of sand in your shell that produces the pearl. Skepticism is like when you're standing outside, that kind of doubt.

[05:51]

Just doubting is being within the practice. Doubting within the practice is okay, good. But doubting and standing outside is simply not engaging. It's objectifying. And as long as you make practice an object, it's not practice. When you see practice as an object, when you see zazen as an object, when you see ... when you treat it in that manner, it's all in your mind. So zazen practice is the practice of the body, the mind and the body. but the mind is not separate from the body and the body is not separate from the mind.

[06:58]

So there's a saying, are you a practitioner of mind or a practitioner of body? Is your practice the practice of mind or the practice of body? Well, The mind goes with the body and the body goes with the mind. We don't have to think so much. All we have to do is put our body on the line, so to speak. And the mind follows the body. It's like, do you hit the cart? If you want the cart to go, do you hit the horse or the cart? Ordinarily, we hit the horse to make the cart go.

[08:05]

But Sazen is like hitting the cart. We whip the cart in order to make the horse go. even though your mind thinks this or that or is over there or over here or whatever, the body is doing zazen. And the poor mind is trapped in the body. So, then we want the body to be someplace else. the mind wants the body to be something, so the mind and the body have this little altercation with each other. Is it the mind that hurts or is it the body that hurts? Is it the body that's impatient or is it the mind that's impatient?

[09:12]

Is it the body that's thinking or is it the mind that's thinking? Dogen says, brings up this little conversation between Yakusan and a monk. The monk says, what do you think in Zazen? Yakusan says, not thinking, think not thinking. And the monk says, well, what is not thinking? And Yakusen says, non-thinking. And the monk said, it's the house thinking.

[10:18]

That's what I said. You heard it right. It's the how's thinking. We don't usually say that. We usually say it was somebody's thinking or something is thinking, but he says it's the how's thinking. It's the how is thinking. If you say, who's thinking? It's the who's thinking. So, in zazen shind, dogen, presents this little koan.

[11:24]

This is called the Koan of Zazen. The Koan of Zazen is Think Not Thinking. After sitting, a monk asked great teacher, Yakusan Osho, what are you thinking in the immobile state of thinking, of sitting? The master replied, I think not thinking. The monk asked, how can one think not thinking? The master replied, by non-thinking. This having been confirmed as the great teacher's saying, we should study immobile sitting and transmit it correctly. Herein lies a thorough investigation of immobile sitting handed down in the Buddha way. Although thoughts on the immobile state of sitting are not limited to a single person, Yakusan's saying is the very best, namely, thinking is not thinking.

[12:29]

Sometimes thinking is the skin, flesh, bones, and marrow of Zazen. Sometimes not thinking is the skin, flesh, bones, and marrow of Zazen. The monk said, not thinking is the how's thinking. Not thinking, though indeed time honored, is newly restated as the how's thinking. Isn't there thinking in the immobile state of sitting? When we advance in the immobile state of sitting, how can this fail to be known? Unless one is a short-sighted fool, one should have the capacity to inquire about and reflect on the immobile state of sitting. The great teacher said, by non-thinking. Although it is quite evident that we employ this non-thinking in zazen, we always use non-thinking in order to think of not thinking.

[13:39]

In non-thinking, There is the who, and this who upholds the self, who thinks not thinking. Even though it is the self which sits in an immobile state, the self has to do not only with thinking, in addition, it takes up the immobile state of sitting itself. If this immobile state of sitting is nothing but the immobile state of sitting, how can it think of itself as its object? For this reason, the immobile state of sitting is neither the Buddha measure nor the Dharma measure, neither the measure of enlightenment nor the measure of understanding. It's simply immobile sitting. You can't measure it by any standard. People say, my zazen wasn't so good today. My zazen hasn't been good for the last six months.

[14:41]

You can't think of zazen in terms of it's good or it's not good. Zazen is simply what it is. As soon as we start making this kind of judgment or comparison we lose our grasp of zazen and then it becomes something else. The reason why Zazen is difficult is not because of physical discomfort. It's simply that we lose our perspective. As soon as we want something different, we lose it. The hardest thing is to stay in the non-dualistic state of mind.

[15:45]

That's the hardest thing. That's called pure mind. We lose our pure mind. When we don't lose our pure mind, there's no problem. Even if there's a problem, it's not a problem. There's always a problem. It's either too uncomfortable, or too nice, or too wonderful, or too terrible, or too something. Even if it's really good, it's a problem. Everything is a problem. But when you don't fall into one side or the other, those problems are not problems.

[16:49]

They're simply the passage of phenomena. So, over and over, the reason I bring this up is because over and over, The biggest complaint is, I don't know how to get rid of my thinking. This stuff just goes on in my mind, all this garbage in my mind, all this stuff in my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind. Whose mind? Whose mind is this? It's the whose mind. who is a pronoun. But it doesn't speak of any specific object.

[17:53]

It's like we take it out of the realm of me and mine and put it into the realm of flowing. what is the state of mind that we're trying to attain through zazen? If you have some specific idea of a certain state of mind that you're supposed to attain through zazen you'll be very discouraged. Peace of mind is not the aim of Zazen. Happiness is not the aim of Zazen. Painfulness is not the aim of Zazen.

[19:00]

Suffering is not the aim of Zazen. The state of mind in Zazen to achieve is no special state of mind. What are the characteristics of true mind? Fundamental mind. No special characteristics. This is why it's called no mind. In the sutras it's called no mind. No mind means no special state of mind. The true state of mind is no special state of mind. We long for certain states of mind, but that's all on very small level.

[20:05]

To open up the mind to its greatest potential means no special state of mind. So we let all states of mind come and go freely. Sometimes we think, sometimes we don't think. Sometimes we think that we're thinking. Sometimes we realize that we're not thinking. But while all this is going on, the body is doing zazen. So we say, think, what do you think about in Zazen? Think, not thinking. Think, not thinking. There are three, if you look at these three from the perspective of a pyramid with three sides,

[21:18]

three triangles put together with a base. This posture is a triangle, the knees and the behind are sitting in a triangle and so this is a very solid position. this triangle. That's one reason why we sit cross-legged, to have this firm seat, very difficult to push over. That's the body. Then the mind is these three triangles. One is thinking, One triangle. Another triangle is not thinking. Another triangle is non-thinking. Thinking just happens.

[22:25]

The nature of the mind is to think. That's what it does. It does it all the time, even when you're asleep. It's going. It's like a faucet that's just on all the time. and then we try to turn it off, you know. There's this little poem, which I have to paraphrase, by Ru Jing. He says, there is an iron broom called Mu, and in Zazen we sweep away the thoughts And the more you try to sweep away the thoughts, the more they appear. The harder you sweep, the more they descend on your mind. Until finally, suddenly, one day, everything, the mind falls away.

[23:31]

And everything that comes into your mind is wonderful. We don't use mu. We simply, if you count, you can say one, two, that's the same as counting, it's the same as mu. You could just say two, two, two. Same thing. Zazen itself is mu. So there's thinking which is continually rising up like under in the ocean there are these deep in the ocean volcanic activity bubbling up you know and you can see the bubbles if you're a fish.

[24:34]

It's constantly happening and just like the mind in But who's thinking? Thoughts arise. When the thoughts arise, what do you do with the thoughts? Well, you can do many things. You can think they're interesting, or you can think they're troublesome. So either troublesome or interesting, or two sides of the same question. Is this interesting or troublesome or both or neither? But when we build on this thinking, when we use this thought to create an imaginary

[25:37]

because there's volition involved. As long as there's no volition, it's just thoughts coming up, but they don't belong to anybody. They don't belong to you. They're not my thoughts. They're simply thoughts until you start building on them. So the thoughts come up, a thought comes up, And that thought becomes the subject of your thinking when it arises. You don't try to get rid of it or sweep it away or replace it with something else. Every time you try to replace it with something else, that's just another thought. You simply let it be there. And then, as everything changes, so will the thought.

[26:43]

It will not stay there. You have to keep renewing it over and over for it to maintain it. So, that's called thinking. When you keep renewing it, oh, that's interesting. And then you follow it and you build on it and you make shopping lists and so forth. That's called thinking. So we say, stop thinking. It doesn't mean stop the flow of thoughts. It simply means let go. Now that you've seen it, you can come back to waking up. So it's called waking up. So, Zazen is, that's what Zazen is. Even though we fall asleep, Zazen is waking up. waking up to this moment, to what is right now. Just being what is right now without a self intruding.

[27:51]

That's called shikantaza. Just this. And if you make a judgment, oh, this is bad, or this is good, or I don't want that, or I'd rather have this, that's just delusion, no longer Shikantaza. So Shikantaza is very difficult in a way, it's like a narrow at first, it's like walking a tightrope, you fall off you know one side or you fall off into the other side, but the more you can walk until it turns into a path, and then it turns into a road. And then you don't fall off so easily. And even if you do fall off, you know how to get back up. And we fall off all the time. So the mind gets carried away by a thought.

[28:55]

As the old saying of Suzuki Roshi's goes, you invite the thought in, but don't serve tea. Don't entertain your thoughts. Or don't allow yourself to be too entertained by your thoughts. So the hardest thing, you know, is to just sit and be with what's there. The hardest place to be is where you are. Without any entertainment. That's the difficulty of zazen, to be where you are with what is there without being entertained. This is cold reality. But it's also warm-hearted practice.

[30:00]

Suzuki Roshi says, you should have warm-hearted practice. when you breathe, when your attention is on the breath, your attention should be, your relationship to your breathing is not that your breathing is an object, but you are the breathing, you are the breath, and to treat your breath warm-heartedly, to appreciate it and enjoy it. and to appreciate your posture warm-heartedly and to enjoy the posture. That's why it's so important to learn these fundamental things from the beginning and put all your effort into finding really the fundamental way to sit. When you find the fundamental way to sit, then you enjoy your posture, even though it's difficult in the beginning to sit up really straight.

[31:05]

So for me, my experience is when I'm sitting up really straight and when all the body parts are harmonizing in a warm-hearted way, it feels quite wonderful. And it has a feeling of what's called noble sitting. it scares away the demons. That's what Shakyamuni says, scares away the demons. So there's not thinking, and then there's thinking. So sometimes there's thinking, just thinking. But this thinking in Zazen is just one side of the triangle. Not thinking is another side of the triangle, and these are two seemingly opposite things, thinking and not thinking.

[32:19]

Non-thinking has the meaning of beyond thinking and not thinking. When there's thinking, it's just thinking, and thinking covers the whole of zazen. When there's not thinking, not thinking Not thinking includes thinking and thinking includes not thinking. So as in without thinking is not complete. So as in without not thinking is not complete. If you prefer one and not the other, that's simply preference. So the problem that we run into most of the time is preferring one state of mind over another.

[33:25]

We prefer to have not thinking. But when you have not thinking, you don't like that either. This is boring. Boring means not being connected. What is the thought of Zazen? The thought of Zazen, it's not like what do you think? It sounds like what do you think in Zazen? It's like what is the thought of Zazen? What is the thinking of Zazen? This is the how's thinking. We take it out of the personal I. What is the thought of Zazen? The thought of Zazen is Zazen. It means the thought and the act, the thinking and the body and the act of Zazen is one thing.

[34:35]

You don't think about zazen. In the translations, usually, I think about not thinking. No, you think not thinking. It's not about something. You don't think about something else. Thinking means thinking about something else. This is objectifying. You think the thought of zazen, or the how thinks the thought of zazen. It's the how's thinking, how to do this. You know we say in Zen, we don't use the question why, we use the question how. Suzuki Roshi rarely answered why questions, but he would always answer how questions.

[35:36]

People always ask me, why is it this way, and why do we do that, and why do we... I say, I don't know, we just do it. But I want to know, I want to know. It's like, how is this done? So once you enter Zazen, you enter with the whole body and mind in. How? And there's no separation between thinking and doing. As soon as there's a separation between thinking and doing, then you have problems. But when there's no separation between the thought and the activity, that's non-thinking. but non-thinking also contains thinking and not thinking.

[36:43]

These three are reflections of each other or three different ways to see into what's actually happening in satsang. So we don't try to get rid of something, we don't disdain the mind, the thinking mind. The thinking mind has a function, so we appreciate the thinking mind and treat it warm-heartedly God, get away from me. How do I drop my thinking? How do I drop my ego? You can't drop your ego. Dogen says, drop body and mind. But it's not like this. You have to treat body and mind, you have to carry body and mind, actually, and put it down gently. So, all the thinking we offer up to Buddha and all the body we offer up to Buddha.

[37:47]

And we treat it very carefully. Why be angry? What's there to be angry about? People say, I get so angry in Zazen. What? Why do you get angry? What's there to be angry about? What's there to be upset about? simply merge with Zazen. The thought of Zazen is Zazen itself. That's the thought to think. And then the thought disappears in the activity. And the thought and the activity are just one thing. That's non-thinking. Yes? So, I never heard so many police sounds in my life.

[38:57]

And they are actually always kind of nodding, kind of suffering. The suffering in this world, do something, you know. And they were on mine, suffering, suffering, do something. And then the anger comes up, you are sitting here, you know. It's this kind of, do something, do something, and you don't do anything, right? You're sitting here in this posture, so the air comes out. Yeah, this is a good koan for you. Very good. Supposing you weren't sitting Zazen, what would you do? I think I would run. You'd run after the fire engine. This is where you have to find the peace. This is where you have to find the settled mind. This is where you have to find the compassion. There's always the question, you know, when everyone is, there's so much suffering in the world, why are we sitting zazen?

[40:08]

If you think that you're sitting zazen, just for yourself, then that question is valid. But zazen is not something you're just doing for yourself. This is why when we come to Sashin, we make a commitment to Sashin. And the commitment to Sashin is not just for myself. The commitment to Sashin is, I make this commitment to everybody else that's here. And we do this thing together as one body. And we do this thing together as one body with a whole world. So this is not something we're just doing for ourself personally or just for these people that are sitting with us. But what about if there's so much suffering, how can you get suffering? Suffering? What do you mean by suffering?

[41:13]

When we feel the pressure of suffering, within and without, and then how do we sit down with this pressure, which kind of actually says, you have the responsibility for this pressure, and we are carrying the responsibility. So how to sit with the responsibility and not doing? I'm not quite sure I understand exactly what you're saying. Just explain why we are sitting. Can you speak a little bit more slowly? You just explained why we are sitting sometimes and said we are whole body. And I wonder how to do that, how to jump over this pressure who says, no, it's only me sitting and having a whole responsibility of suffering. Yeah, well, you know, I'm not sure that I understand exactly what you're saying, but I'll tell you what I think you're saying. that suffering is our own state of mind.

[42:22]

So suffering comes from not being able to accept what is in front of us, or what is right here, or who we are, where we are, doing what we're doing. When we can't accept that, or as soon as we want it to be another way, the pain that we have turns into suffering. But pain and suffering are not the same. Suffering is the attitude that we bring to pain and difficulty. So how do you save all sentient beings? So you're sitting here in Berkeley, California in the Zendo, right? And even if you weren't, how would you be saving the sentient beings in Africa? And if you're in Africa, how would you be saving the sentient beings in Asia? How do you do that?

[43:29]

But just doing something in where you are is doing something. So first, to just take care of what is right around you is as much as you can do at the moment. How do you just take care of the suffering right around you? How do you take care of your own suffering to begin with? And then how do you take care of the suffering around you? And then how do you widen the ring? It looks like zazen is something very personal, which it is, but when you reduce self-centeredness, what is personal extends in all directions.

[44:49]

So here we have 40 people or something like that doing something together, so and in a common effort to let go of the cause of suffering. there will always be suffering in the world, no matter how much we try to help, because that's what this world is. It's half suffering and half not suffering. I don't know if the proportions are really that strict.

[45:53]

It's not that we will ever wipe out suffering in the world, because the nature of the world is to suffer. to have pain and discontent. The cause of suffering is many causes of suffering, many different causes of suffering, but the suffering that we bring on ourself is what we're concerned with. this is our Buddhist problem, the suffering that we bring to ourself or the suffering that we bring to others. There's the suffering of the flood and famine and fire and stuff like that, which is out of our control in a sense, but the suffering that we can actually deal with, control, is what we're concerned with, that which we can actually deal with.

[46:58]

that we can stop the cause of is what we're dealing with. So if you know how to do that with yourself, then you can help people in a true sense. Not just putting band-aids on, but actually helping people just to deal with the cause of suffering. That's what you're learning how to do. That's why you're sitting Zazen. So the cause of suffering is too much desire. That's a deep problem. And our delusions, not seeing things as they really are, but just being drawn into. of the illusory realm. So zazen is the fundamental.

[48:05]

How do you exist with nothing but the fundamental thing? That's why it's boring. But you have to be able to find pleasure in this boredom. You have to find satisfaction in this nothing. So you find satisfaction in sitting up straight and you find satisfaction in breathing and you find satisfaction in the unity of yourself with the universe without anything in between, without having to have toys or entertain ourself. So, but it's not easy. It's not easy. And then, you know, we long for these things.

[49:06]

We're all the same, you know. But the wonderful thing about zazen is we put ourself in this position and then we have all the difficulties of it. But as time goes on, we settle and we can settle into our breath and our posture and our one mind. our non-dual mind. And even though we have a lot of difficulty, in the end, we feel like we've been cleaned out. Something... the world takes on a glow. Not because it hasn't always been there, but because our cluttered mind doesn't allow us to perceive it. So, that's all we have time for.

[50:15]

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