Good morning. It's my privilege this morning to introduce our speaker, Ross Blum, whose Dharma name is Se Shi Tetsudo, which means pure determination, penetrate way. Ross began to practice in New York in 1984 with Bernie Glassman, and came out here to Berkeley in 1987. And he was lay ordained that same year and has been a resident here at Berkeley Center ever since that year. And Ross, I didn't remember to ask you your SHUSO year. 96. OK. And Ross, his current practice position is co-Zendo leader.

[01:08]

And he is in charge of arranging any well-being services or memorial services that you would like to ask for, for anyone. So if that comes up for you, Ross is the person to go to. And I will say Ross is a go-to person. I think the pillars of the Zendo are one more, and that's Ross. Welcome family. Since I was Juso in 96, I've been given the privilege of giving talks from time to time, about once a year on a Saturday.

[02:16]

So there's a lot of weight on me and wanting to self-impose weight on me to give a talk that's worthwhile, that's helpful and encouraging. And I hope that today's talk is so. And if it's not, please let me know. When I think about giving a talk, I begin thinking about what is important to me. and I write down little notes to myself and things come up when I read or if I'm talking with someone and I kind of slowly put something together and then in the last day or so before giving the talk I look over all these things and think about what's still relevant and what is no longer relevant or interesting and toss that aside and I put together something.

[03:18]

So the title of my talk today is Don't Slam the Door. I came up with this title and the theme because it's something that's very close to me. For some reason, I am very sensitive about doors slamming and handling of doors. My mother told me as a child I used to go around closing the doors in the cupboards that had been left open in a room, under one of those, something that goes way, way back. So with that in mind, I started thinking about, well, what is a door? Why does slamming a door upset me or startle me? And it's not so unusual, I don't think. But then I thought, well, how would this be for a talk?

[04:25]

It seems like this is a stretch to talk about doors. And well. Let's find out together. Suzuki Roshi said, do not treat things as objects. Soja Roshi says use two hands when handling objects, handling them carefully. So typically when we come to the zendo and we open the door and close the door, we typically do it with two hands and our attention is on the door and we close it as quietly as we can. as you may have heard over the years, sometimes it's a little louder than other times, but generally the teaching is using two hands and take care of the door, close the door.

[05:38]

So why do we close this door, open this door differently than the doors in our homes and our offices? What's so special about this door? Is it okay to close this door or handle this door in a way or relate to this door in a way differently than the doors that we have to pass through in our homes and offices? The sense of quiet provides spaciousness. When we sit quietly, the room expands, and our consciousness expands. Whenever there's a door slam, the space shrinks, and we shrink often with that. So, Jiroshi encourages us to sit upright, and creating, lifting up our spine, our sternum, and you can feel the space in between your vertebrae.

[06:54]

It's typically done in a quiet fashion. With the openness and spaciousness of this moment, we can hear a cell phone go off and not be perturbed by it. Because in this openness and spaciousness, it's just the sound of a cell phone. Suzuki says that when you sit zazen, your breathing in and breathing out lubricates the hinges like a door swinging back and forth. So as we sit quietly, we breathe in, take in the external world into our body. We breathe out, we let go of this world. What's the door other than just a barrier between self and other?

[08:07]

Next time you make tea, look at your teapot. Look at the lid like a door. Lift off the teapot lid. Put the tea inside. Pour the hot water in. Close the door. Let it steep. Pour the tea into your cup. The inside and outside come together, just in a simple act of making tea. Sojuroshis often said our practice is like a bamboo tube. We're very wiggly. At the beginning, we pass through this bamboo tube and come out the other side a little less wiggly, but maybe more conscious of our wiggle.

[09:13]

That's a doorway in a metaphor of a bamboo tube. In traditional tea houses, there's actually no door. The samurai back in the day would have to leave their sword outside of the space because it wouldn't pass through the doorway. So they leave their worldly attachments and their identity behind outside and go inside the tea room, sit on the time mat and have a cup of tea. If they don't pass through the door, They don't get a chance to look at themselves. So what is that Zen door? Typically when we go through a door, we're going from one room to another.

[10:20]

We don't pay much attention to it. We're going from here to there. But a Zen door opens up and you get to see yourself. You might recall some of the Greek paintings where there's like a doorway and there's maybe either a body of water or a brick wall or something kind of unusual, not another room or a vista. But when we pass through the doors here and we sit facing the wall, we actually get to face ourselves. That's a different kind of door. Sojiroshi encourages his students to have a text, some reference that's been tried and true, that's part of our practice, that people would maybe easily recognize as a way to help frame a talk, so it's not just this casual flip, this is what I think

[11:57]

without reference points. So I looked at my library and started thinking about what books could I use to quote from? What ancient masters from China or Japan or India could I use to talk about doors? Well, aside from that Suzuki Roshi quote, I don't know if there are any. I'm not quite ready to write the book on door practice, but I thought, well, what about the precepts? How do the precepts relate to this practice of doors and going from one space to another? So I looked at the 10 grade precepts and there's different renderings of these precepts and different understandings of what's meant.

[13:02]

And in the old school of Buddhism, the Theravada school, there's a literal translation, a literal rendering of the precepts of do not kill means you don't kill anything, do not steal, you don't ever take anything. I thought, well, maybe it's a way of looking at these precepts in this Mahayana way, things that are not so literal and maybe more metaphorical that can help support my idea and deep desire to encourage people not to slam the door. I vow not to kill.

[14:05]

Not killing life, the Buddha seed grows. Transmit the life of Buddha and do not kill." So the wood from the tree that made these doors came from a tree that was fallen in a forest. It had life. and it was killed. Maybe not specifically for the use of a zendo door, but it was rendered into timber. You can't kill anything, things just transform. So the artist and craftsman who Sojiroshi had make these doors transformed this so-called dead tree into this beautiful life of three doors, a double door there and the epicenter of this door. We pass through so quickly, we don't quite often see the beauty of that door.

[15:08]

They're really beautiful. I encourage everybody to take a moment, not as you're going out necessarily, because it'll take about an hour to get out of here, to look at the door as the days go by and you come for Zazen. From the death of a tree comes the life of a door. and a livelihood to support the artist and craftsman who made that door. I vow not to take what is not given. Self and objects are such, two yet one. Don't take the door for granted. You and the door are one. Treated as such, the gate of your liberation stands open. I vow not to misuse sexuality.

[16:23]

Let the three wheels of self, objects, and action be pure. with nothing to desire one goes along together with the Buddhas. The mindful action of handling the door is pure, without desire, just opening the door. If you have an attachment to get somewhere, rushing to go somewhere, That's expressing desire and that's the misuse of sexuality and your senses. Sojiroshi said that he never saw Suzuki Roshi rushing around. He was always in time. How many times have I caught myself rushing to get to the zendo having heard the clappers and trying to get to my seat before the bell rings?

[17:32]

I vow to refrain from false speech. The Dharma wheel turns from the beginning. There is neither surplus nor lack. The sweet dew saturates all and harvests the truth. As I said earlier, there's really no rush. There's no surplus, no lack. Just be in time. The true speech of the door is silent. Silently closing the door. I vow not to sell the wine of delusion. Originally pure, don't defile. This is the great awareness. How do we take care of the door to help maintain its purity? showing respect for the door, and the intention of the person who created those doors.

[18:55]

The original Shoji paper on the doors had worn out along the wooden lattice, and over the years people kind of dusting the lattice and the paper starts wearing. So many years ago during Sashin, I was asked to replace the paper. And I cannot tell you how much attention I had to give myself as I moved around a very delicate thing of this door to change out that paper. It was a little nerve-wracking. It was very nerve-wracking, actually. But over time, the job got done, and I've done it once, I think, since then. Of course, if you look at something really close that you think is pure, there's actually so-called impurity mixed in with it. Things are not so perfect, things are off a little bit.

[20:04]

And there's actually a beauty of that imperfection that exudes a certain purity as a result. You get to see that it's made by a person who has moments of distraction or moments of imperfection, and we get to see the door as we get to see ourselves in the mirror. or seeing ourselves facing a wall as a pure expression of Buddha with all these impurities and these faults. I vow not to slander. In the Buddha Dharma, go together, appreciate, realize and actualize holding. We come to this endo, we open the door, and we step into this space.

[21:09]

And we're on our so-called good behavior. We try to be a little more careful about what we say. Our physical comportment, walking on the balls of our feet versus our heels. We don't rush around. The door is holding this space for us. And when we go after we bow to Sojiroshi, and we bow out and go outside, we carry that with us. The door swings both ways. I vow not to praise self at the expense of others. Buddhas and ancestors realize the vast sky and the great earth. When they manifest a noble body, there is neither inside nor outside an emptiness, nor a bit of earth on the ground.

[22:17]

Am I more important than that door? Who is this self that's out there. Do you meet the door as your friend or as an impediment? I've got to get through there to get to the Zenda. I've got to get through that door to get to the Berkeley Bowl handbasket. I've certainly caught myself there a lot. That door opens automatically, but I'm still rushing to from the outside to the inside, do my shopping. I vow not to be avaricious.

[23:23]

One phrase, one verse is the ten thousand things and one hundred grasses. One Dharma, one realization is all Buddhas and ancestors. From the beginning there has been no stinginess at all. Be generous. Don't be stingy. Don't be stingy with your time rushing to your seat. There's time and there's space to move through it gently. Hold the door for another. kind, be generous, don't be stingy. I vow not to harbor ill will, neither negative nor positive, neither real nor unreal.

[24:27]

There is an ocean of illuminated clouds and an ocean of ornamented clouds. Anger in it inattention are manifest in a slammed door or a hastily thrown bolt across the door into the door jamb. Zen teachers say that they can actually assess a student's practice even before that student has uttered a word just by watching their comportment, how they handle things. Study is good. Articulation and understanding is good. This body is also good. It's a good vehicle for practice. The door helps remind us of that. I vow not to abuse the three treasures.

[25:37]

To expound the Dharma with this body is foremost. Virtue returns to the unfathomable ocean of reality. Let us accept it with respect and gratitude. Gratitude for the three treasures, Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Someone asked another student once, who is your teacher? And the student said, right now you are my teacher. Right now the door is my teacher. How do I meet it? How do I pass through it? Dharma is the teachings. All the teachings that the doors have to provide us, to help us with our lives. And Sangha We all get to go through the same door together.

[26:42]

We all pass through that door over there. Everybody passes that door differently. There's no right way or wrong way, but just being aware of passing through from the so-called sacred to the so-called profane, your life is going to turn on that. Thank you for your attention and the quiet. And we have about 15 minutes for a little commentary, question and response. I have a dinner to prepare this afternoon for some dear friends who are coming over who haven't seen in a long time, so I'm going to have to forego the There's a formal Q&A in the back there, so we have some time now.

[27:47]

I'd like to ask Sojounoshi if he has any comment or questions. Well, thank you for talking about doors. That's a very good subject. You talked about that. Of course, the most famous door in Zen is the gateless door, the Mulan. But then there's also, I don't want to bring it up on top, but there's also the story of Shakyamuni straddling the threshold. Next year, when I give a talk, I'll maybe talk about one of those.

[28:56]

Walter? I had the same question, or related question to what Sojin just said. I was going to say, why is the Great Door doorless? Why is the Great Door doorless? Because there is a great person passing through. Because there is a great person passing through. Jake? Thank you, Ross. I just want to say that as a person in your role, you are sometimes given to making corrections of people. You've made them of me, but I want to say whenever you've made them, it's never felt to me as if you've slammed the door on me. It's always felt as a very gentle suggestion. And I've always admired that in you for a long time.

[29:58]

And I've tried to emulate that as poorly as I can. I try better. Thanks. Thank you. It's a heavy responsibility that Sojin has bestowed upon myself and a few others to offer guidance and correction about the forms. We get to play the heavy. And I appreciate the feedback that it's mostly gentle. Colin? I think we share a lot. And one thing we share is this door practice. I have the same sort of relationship the sounds of doors and think about them a lot. And during your talk, I kept thinking of all kinds of things about doors. And the latest thing I'm going to share is that just this week, you know, we have a practice at our house of closing the garage door every night and deadbolting the door that goes into the house. Well, one night this week, we haven't exactly solved the mystery, but the garage door didn't get closed.

[31:03]

And I went out in the morning to go do something, I think put compost in the green bin and the garage door was standing wide open and I just felt a million things all at once, like completely terrified for one thing and then like nothing happened, nothing was gone, not a single bike, not a single record, I mean it reminded me When I was in college, the one time I went to a Grateful Dead concert and we left the car keys in the car door. There might have been a little altered state going on when we went in. And no one took anything and my computer was in that car. So I like sharing the good news sometimes because there's so much fear and bad news out there that I wanted to share that good news about that door standing wide open and no one going through it. That's great, thank you.

[32:05]

As you were talking, I was reminded of Dukkha-sant with Sochin Roshi. Nothing that's said, but the compartment of body going in and going out of Dukkha-sant You know, we go in, we turn the door, after hearing the bell, we turn the doorknob, we open the door, we go in, we close the door, bow to Satya Roshi, bow to the seat, bow away, sit down and have our talk. And then we do it in reverse when it's over. And when we go out, instead of just pushing the door, we turn the doorknob and close the door. than close the door, aside from the noise factor. It's meeting the door, opening, meeting the door, closing. I was thinking of Walter's talk yesterday, when someone asked him a question, and basically the response was, it's all right here, you don't have to go anywhere or do anything, it's all here for you to learn by.

[33:20]

And I was thinking, well, it's all right here. The door's here, just being aware. I was thinking of a kind of related topic that I've always been tempted to talk about, which is don't tailgate. And it's actually practically the same thing, even though it has to do with moving cars and so on. It's paying attention to doing things one thing at a time. But in time. In time, yeah. And have space between you and the other. Instead of rushing, and then you're in constant stress, and oh, maybe you're gaining one second or something. It's ridiculous. And yet, we do that, and it's the same thing with the door. We're thinking one second ahead, and so we slam the door and look instead of doing one thing, and then going on to the next thing.

[34:28]

That's true. Yeah, you don't even have to be in a car, you can be in a kid-hen line. And so she encourages us to step forward and fill the spaces and be aware that there are people behind you and don't go too slow. So we're always on spot for attending to the space around us. Peter? The whole time you were talking, I kept thinking about the Four Vows, which we'll recite shortly, one of which is the Army Jason Endless. I vowed not to slam them. And I kept thinking, well, Ross is going to get to that. Then I realized you were happy to talk to me about that. Thank you very much. Yeah, Dean. Some doors. Judy. Thank you for your talk. The door that I find myself stumbling into a lot is the door of compassion. and how to keep that door open, and when that door open actually needs to shut.

[35:32]

And I've got this shoulder injury, and I'm new to driving cars so much, especially in this area, and especially in rush hour traffic. And just the physical weight of actually trying to open a door when, really, I'd love to use two hands, but it's a lot of leaning on one arm, or a leg, or whatever might be, just to do the basic things. And I also have this image. You've talked a lot about sports. And I remember the thrill of, especially at the beginning of the season, you walk into a ballpark, and there's just this, ah, it's fresh. Or if I read the sports page now, they're talking about how Tim cut his hair. It's a sign of maturity. Comparing him to Matt Cain. And I'm just wondering what helps you to keep the door of compassion, I won't say open, I won't say closed.

[36:44]

talk that I heard and this fellow closed his talk relating a story about someone, about a mother who was admonishing her children on a train going to a death camp and the children had somehow or another lost their shoes and the mother was very adamant and angry that the child had lost its shoes. And the parent and child were separated and the parent never saw the children again. And many years later, the parent was asked about, I forgot the context, but the gist of it was that If this is the last thing that you say, will you be proud of it?

[37:59]

Will it stand the test of time? So if I get stingy with my time or close down around someone or something and not feeling so compassionate, I think about Is this how I will be remembered by this person or by people viewing a behavior of mine? I mean, they might not be aware of it, but it kind of shames me into opening up a little bit more. And I will never forget someone who practices here and I was having a very, very, very difficult time with them. them in my own mind and avoiding them in my own body. And we were at Sashin, and of course it's easy during Sashin because you don't have to talk to anybody here if I get that right.

[39:05]

And I came out of the Zen Do and they were bent down gardening and I just walked by and I just put my arm out and kind of grazed over their shoulder as I walked by to connect with them. in being in a space. Because as much as I tried to want to be compassionate and be open, I couldn't. That happens between people. We have a few more minutes. Katie.

[40:06]

Thanks, Ross. Yeah. I wonder if you could help me. I find that sometimes when I reflect on the precepts or some other way of, sometimes I can hear things as how I should be. And it's sort of a constrained, narrow, heavy feeling. But I don't think that's what you're talking about with don't slam the door. That's not how you hold it. And I'm wondering if you can help me transform that. Don't treat things as objects. I think it really is that simple.

[41:09]

I think it really is that simple. I know what it feels like when I've been objectified and it doesn't feel good. And I know when I've objectified people it doesn't feel good. It's a really simple teaching but I think it answers so much. My particular thing of, you know, the door, for somebody else it's making sure their car is spiffy clean. I think it's good to look at the literal rendering of those precepts as a way to go through the bamboo tube. And as we sit, we realize that it's impossible not to kill. It's impossible not to steal. but to be a little bit more generous with ourselves, and we actually get to see it in a wider context.

[42:12]

And I encourage you to have doko-san with Sojo Roshi to answer these, or to respond to these questions that you have. The thought that came to mind as you were speaking is, don't treat anything as an object, including yourself. And I think sometimes I can be controlling towards myself in an attempt to be correct. Right, yeah. Fortunately or unfortunately, I don't have that particular problem. I'm really easy with myself. Some people might say a little too easy, a little bit of a slacker, but there are a lot of people at Zen centers who are hard on themselves. And we have all these guidelines and rules and precepts and all that. It's like something, it can feed something that can really be discouraging to practice. to be a little loose around that and forgiving of oneself is really important.

[43:18]

So as you forgive others, you're forgiving yourself. I remember watching my parents and listening to my parents argue a lot as a kid growing up and even in later years. But when my When my father stumbled, it was a phone call to Virginia, my father had stumbled, my mother put down the phone and it was this whole other voice coming out that I could hear on the phone as she was helping my dad up from the floor that he had fallen on. And I had rarely heard that expression. And it's kind of like, if this person in front of me is Or if I'm falling, am I going to cop an attitude to myself and be hard on myself? We have to pick ourselves up and support each other.

[44:20]

That's the beauty of Sangha practice. That's the beauty of going through the door all together. You know, 80 some people are going to go through that door in a minute. A couple people are going to go through that door.

[44:33]

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