Good morning. Good morning. Were you aware of how Richard produced a sound on the bell? He found the voice of the bell in a lab, the voice of the bell. freely, no hinting, no object. The bell is not an object to be able to, without hinting, to actually coax or inspire the bell to sing. Quite wonderful and unusual. Now he'll be self-conscious.

[01:02]

But still, when he forgets about himself, he'll be him. So anyway, that's where there's no self and no realm. Simply the sound. Well, today I'm going to comment on Suzuki Roshi's talk, which we call Neurologic Experiments of Reality. And I have a note here Idealistic Zen and Realistic Zen. Idealistic Zen is the Zen you have in your mind about what Zen is.

[02:13]

And Realistic Zen is what Zen really is. So, Suzuki Roshi, what's interesting, my notice is, inanimate objects are I'm continuously preaching the Dharma. There's a story, a true story, which I've told before. When Zen Master was a little boy, he lived with his father, who was an old man. and couldn't support the boy. So he asked the teacher at the local monastery if the boy could stay there. So the teacher said that fine, that they would take care of him.

[03:20]

And before he left, the father said to the boy, You know, when you go into the monastery, they will ask you to, teach you to play the bells. That will be one of the things that they will expect you to do. So, when you do that, you should do it with your whole body and mind. So, went to the monastery, and one day the abbot was talking to somebody, maybe having jokes up or something, and he heard this bell ring. And he said, who's that? Who rang that bell? And so the attendant went out to find out, and he came back and said, what's that little And so he brought the little boy in.

[04:26]

And he said, who taught you to ring the bell like that? And the boy said, well, when my father sent me to the monastery, he said, they'll teach you to ring the bell. And whenever you ring the bell, you should ring it as if you're producing a Buddha. Every ring of the bell should produce a Buddha. So that was the attitude which I rang the bell. And then I grew up to become a famous Zen master, a raptor. That's a true story. So Dogen says, Zen master Dogen said, mountains and rivers, earth and sky, everything is encouraging us to attain enlightenment. In the same way, the purpose of my lecture is to encourage you to obtain enlightenment, to have a real experience of Buddhism.

[05:30]

Even though you think you are studying Buddhism when you are reading, you may have just an intellectual understanding rather than a direct experience. We call study the second principle and actual practice the first principle. First principle is direct understanding. Second principle is intellectual understanding. But intellectual understanding is also important, but not as important as direct experience, of course. But intellectual understanding can help us, as long as we don't make a mistake and think that intellectual understanding or knowledge is first principle. We say, there's a saying, prajna, which is direct experience of wisdom, is not knowledge.

[06:40]

Prajna has to go beyond knowledge. But if prajna, if our understanding goes beyond knowledge, then studying can be the first principle. So intellectual understanding is necessary but it will not complete your study. This does not mean to suggest intellectual understanding or that enlightenment is entirely different from intellectual understanding. The true direct experience of things can be intellectual and the conceptual explanation may help you to have direct experience. Both intellectual understanding and direct experience are necessary, but it is important to know the difference. Sometimes you may think something is an enlightenment experience and it is just intellectual.

[07:43]

That is why we must have a true teacher who knows the difference. There are many independent people these days. who don't particularly want to be part of a sangha, or don't want to study formal Buddhism, but consider themselves Buddhists. And this can be a problem for people. Often people say, well, you know, I like Buddhism, and I read, you know, on my own, and I do some zazen, and that's enough for me. The three legs of practice are Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. And this is what holds up the pot. The three legs.

[08:44]

Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. So if we only have Dharma, and we don't have Buddha, and we don't have Sangha, then our bowl only has one leg. So, practicing the Sangha is actually how we express our understanding of Buddhism. It's one thing to feel that understanding Dharma is enough. People who understand Dharma in the past were called Pratyekabuddhas. lone Buddhas who practiced by themselves and achieved some degree of enlightenment, but the enlightenment was never complete.

[09:45]

So Sangha is practicing with others is actually how we learn. We may read and which is important, but if we don't have the support of the Sangha, it's not that we have the support of the Sangha, it's that we are supporting the Sangha. When we attend, when we come to the Zen Dojo, we are supporting the Sangha. That's our unselfish practice. Suzuki Ryoshi used to talk about selfish practice, and in Japan, selfish practice is really frowned upon. Because we're doing something for ourself. And we think that's Buddhism. But it's not Buddhism. There are people that don't have access to Sangha. So that's a kind of problem. But to feel that I don't need Sangha is a big problem.

[10:58]

We're nourished by the Sangha. And the Sangha nourishes, and we nourish the Sangha. Buddha is to find a teacher. Because we need to verify our own understanding, we think, but we also need verification from somebody else who we feel has a good understanding. And oftentimes, someone will come and they'll present their understanding. And, oh, I had this great enlightenment experience. And the teacher will say, oh, that's wonderful. Now what? As if having a great enlightenment experience was something wonderful and unusual. But to the teacher it's not something unusual.

[12:02]

We think that we want to have some special experience, which is good. We should have some wonderful experience. But to come and say I have this wonderful experience of opening and enlightenment and so forth, If you're really practicing, you should have that experience moment to moment. And in each moment, forget about the last moment's experience. Because here you are now. That's all that really matters. Not whether you had a great experience or not, but where are you right now? Where is your experience at this moment? That's the only thing that counts. Then he says, so when we study Buddhism, it's necessary to have a strong conviction.

[13:12]

And to study not only with our mind, but also with our body. If you come to the lecture, even though you are sleepy and unable to listen to it, When I came to the lecture, they were bringing some experience of enlightenment, and of the enlightenment itself. When Suzuki Roshi was giving his talk, everybody was going... But at the end, he said, it's not necessary to remember what I said. Just be there. That's all. Just being there is the most important thing, not what's being said. We're always looking for the result. We're sitting here listening to the lecture, but it's what you are doing at this moment that's important.

[14:15]

When we give ourselves over to something, we become one. with that which we are giving ourself over to. That's enlightened practice. It's not like we get enlightened, but we simply do practice enlightened practice. So if you're looking for some big experience for Zazen, you'll never understand As long as we have a goal of getting something, that will stop the process of actually experiencing this moment. As long as we have an expectation or a goal other than the present moment's activity, we will never experience, have direct experience of reality.

[15:27]

This is our big hindrance in Zazen, because even though we may say, well, I don't expect anything, you do. So, the main thing, actually, is our effort. The main thing is our effort to be present on this moment. That's really the main thing. No matter what happens in Zazen, the main thing is just to be present on this moment. Because otherwise we fall into judgment. Oh, this is bad Zazen, this is good Zazen. That's just making a judgment on the basis of birth and death.

[16:39]

That's making a judgment on the basis of comparative values. Zazen has to be beyond comparative values. So that everything we experience, we experience thoroughly in Zazen. That's enlightenment. we experience something that we think is awful, but just to experience that, allow that to be the experience of this moment, without judgment, is enlightenment. As soon as you say, oh this was good, or this was bad, or this is right, or this is wrong, or I like it, or I don't like it, or I wish I was someplace else, You're obscuring your enlightenment experience. You're putting a cover of a discriminating mind.

[17:51]

So to just let go of our discriminating mind and experience what is here in front of us, to merge with What's happening at this moment is to drop body and mind. But dropping body and mind means to completely experience body and mind. Totally. Your total experience of this present, of being present on this moment with what's happening now is all there is. From moment to moment. So we live our life moment to moment. And on each moment, each moment is a moment of enlightenment. Even if we do fall into discriminating consciousness, but it's not pure.

[18:57]

It's tainted. Tainted in language. Tainted with discrimination. So, when we let go of our idea about Zen, and simply allow ourselves to experience this moment, then there's no problem. Even though it's a problem. We have what we call a problem, Just to be able to experience that problem without wishing for something else is direct experience of enlightenment. Without wishing for something else. I wish it was better, but this is what it is. Then you can stay here and you can sit quietly without moving. Because you're not seeking for some better thing. If only I had a better position. Oh, if only I could uncross my legs.

[20:04]

I would feel better. It's not a matter of feeling worse or better. It's a matter of really feeling what's there. And I'll ask for questions later. So direct experience will come when we are completely one. He says, when you have no idea of self, this could be where you are sitting, but it could also be wherever your seeking mind is strong enough to forget your selfish desires. When you believe you have some problem, it means your practice is not good enough. When your practice is good enough, whatever you see, whatever you do, that is the direct experience of reality.

[21:05]

This point should be remembered. Usually, without knowing this point, we aren't involved in judgments. So we say, this is right, and that is wrong. This is perfect, and that's not perfect. That seems ridiculous when we are doing real practice. Sometimes we may say that for Buddhists there's nothing wrong. Whatever you do, you know, Buddha is doing it and not me. Or Buddha is responsible, not me. But if you use that as an excuse, that is a misunderstanding. It's true. Buddha is doing this. It's not me. But you could, you know, go into a china shop and trash all the china. You say, well, Buddha did it, not me.

[22:05]

That's just using it as an excuse. But if you allow Buddha to come forth, Buddha usually doesn't do those things. The way that I think about it is that we have a self, which is not a self. We carry this illusory self around. And when we let go of everything that's not this self, then Buddha appears. It's like we jump off a cliff and then somebody catches us. We're really, I think, out of fear. We're afraid to drop body and mind. But dropping body and mind is the safety net for life.

[23:11]

But we cling to body and mind as the safety net. And that's a problem. The reason we build up a self, one of the reasons, is as a safety net. So as we grow out of childhood, out of babyhood, more and more, we create this safety net for ourselves. So we create a civilization as a safety net. We function in groups as a safety net. We have certain rules and regulations as a safety net. But that's okay. It's important. But if we depend on that too much, we lose our real roots of what to have faith in.

[24:16]

What do we have confidence in? We can't really have confidence in the rules and regulations. We have to have confidence in something much bigger, much more fundamental. So sometimes we say that for Buddhists there is nothing wrong. And I just read that. So we say all beings have Buddha nature. to encourage you to have an actual experience of it. The purpose of the statement is just to encourage your true practice, not to give you some excuse for your lazy practice or your practice that is merely formal. When this formal practice becomes informal, then it's true practice. When you have mastered the formal practice, then the formal practice is no longer formal.

[25:21]

It only seems formal in comparison to what we call informal. When you're able to practice in the formal practice, so-called. Every practice is a formal practice of some kind. Then when we resume our informal practice, it's the same thing. It's not two different things. When we're outside the Zen Do, we have a choice, more of a choice than how to act. But every practice has a certain form. Every activity has a certain form. So we just walk from one informal practice into another, but we just call one side informal and the other side formal.

[26:23]

That's just a comparison. But if your practice is complete, when you can walk into the Zen Do, and leave, and it's exactly the same. That's complete practice. It's not like we're walking, like we're changing our clothes. Although we do. Even though we change our clothes, there's something that's not changing. That's the point. What is it that doesn't change when we go from one house to another? So in China, people would carry something on their heads. Perhaps honey, or water, or big jars. Sometimes someone must have dropped the jar. You never see that. People carrying jars on their heads.

[27:26]

We always see them carrying them, but we don't see them falling. Instead, of course, sometimes someone mentioned that he dropped the jar. So that's a big mistake, of course, but if you don't look back, it's okay. You understand? You drop the jar, but you just keep going. You make mistakes, but you just keep going. That doesn't stop you. But if you say, oh, I lost it, oh no, that's a big mistake, that is not true practice. We see that repentance, the Sixth Ancestor says, when you make a mistake, when you really make a big mistake, you should feel ashamed and remorseful and acknowledge that, and then just turn and keep going.

[28:29]

That's enough. Acknowledgement. And just keep going. Not, oh mine was so bad and blah blah blah. Not to fall into good and bad. That happened. Now I should be more careful and keep going. When a skilled martial artist uses his sword, He should be able to cut off, cut a fly off of his friend's nose without cutting his nose. To have the fear of cutting his nose is not true practice. This is called confidence. When you do something, have a strong determination to do it. Without any idea of skillful or not, dangerous or not, you just do it.

[29:39]

When you do something with this kind of conviction, that is true practice. And that is true enlightenment. So, this is the way the samurai were taught in Japan. So, I think Suzuki Roshi inherited this understanding. In Japan, samurai came to the monks to learn how to do sword fighting. Unfortunately, they carried their sword fighting The point is, when you're going to do something, you just do it completely and let go of everything.

[30:50]

Throw your whole body and mind into it. He's talking about Zazen, not about sword fighting. When you do Zazen, you throw yourself into it completely and whoosh, without regret or remorse. You know, when we say Zazen, we leave everything behind. usually don't like to see their parents that exhausted. They're facing the wall. They've left the family. And that's felt by the family. Because you're completely putting yourself into a position where you've left home. You've left everything behind. When you come to Sashin, ideally, when you come to Sashin, it's like leaving the whole world behind and doing this one activity totally and completely without the thought of returning.

[32:03]

But you return. It's like inhaling and hoping or inhaling and then exhaling, and hoping, without hoping, you think that the breath will return. But it may not. So, when you do seshin, it's important to get all of your affairs in order. So that you don't, you're not dependent on coming back to something. But when it's over, you go forward to what's next. This is called your old life, but it's really your new life. You can never go back to your old life. You cannot return to your old life.

[33:03]

You can only return to what's new. But we say returning So, that's the attitude he's talking about. Do something totally and thoroughly. It's not a matter of whether you do it well or not well, and so forth. You know, he talked about an artist. When an artist tries to do everything as well as he can. And if an artist can't live up to their ideals, then they become very discouraged and commit suicide. But when a little kid comes up and draws a line, he draws a line according to the way, just directly doing it, without much thinking. Which puts the artist who has this ideal to shame.

[34:06]

The kid just comes up and goes, shhh, and it's not, he can't even draw a straight line. Who can? This kind of simplicity of the child just doing something, not worrying about whether it's right or wrong, good or bad. This is just the expression, direct expression. That's the way we should sit on that. We do make an effort to sit up straight and to maintain the form. This is called meeting our life. Because Zazen is not to get something. It's an offering. That's all. It's an unselfish offering. We offer ourselves unselfishly to the universe, but we don't ask for anything.

[35:10]

That's the point. We become one with the universe because we're making ourselves an offering and the universe accepts us. This is what I call co-operation. We have a self, but we offer the self to the universe, and therefore we have no self. That's how we let go of our self, is to offer our self to the universe without expecting anything. Then everything becomes ours. That's how we maintain happiness, because everything is ours. If some special thing belongs to us, it becomes a hindrance. This is why the monks have a robe and a bowl and a sewing needle. In order to have freedom.

[36:13]

So the less is more. This is why we say, how do we lead a simple life? Simple life doesn't necessarily mean that we're off in the mountains. To lead a simple life in the midst of the marketplace, that's a bodhisattva practice. To live a simple life, which means you're always giving away everything because you own everything. But you don't want the burden of carrying everything around, so you keep giving it away so that you're not burdened with it. But it just keeps coming back. We're giving and getting and giving and getting. But nothing belongs to us. Sometimes when people give me a gift, which they do a lot, sometimes I think, oh my God, another woman is going to do this. I always reserve the right to give things that are given to me away.

[37:17]

That's called Indian giving. And people misunderstand that. Sometimes people would give things to American Indians and the Indians would give it away. So an Indian giver. They're dishonoring my gift. But actually they're simply sharing the gift. The selfish Westerners didn't understand that. The Indians were not selfish people. They're actually quite selfless. And they're the people who get destroyed, of course. So he says, the strong conviction to realize yourself, your life, is beyond successful or not successful. Beyond any feeling of fear. You just do it. This is real practice, and this is the way-seeking mind, which goes beyond the dualistic idea of good and bad, right and wrong.

[38:27]

You just do it. This is how you practice the Four Vows. We help people just because we wish to, not because we think we will be successful. Sentient beings are numberless, so we don't know if we can completely help all sentient beings or not. Yet it doesn't matter. As long as we are here, we should continue our practice of helping beings. I remember people used to ask, they would hesitate to have lay ordination because it's a... and it still happens. Well, you know, I don't think I can save all sentient beings. Logic is the biggest problem we have. One of the biggest problems is logic. Logic is great. But there are different kinds of logic. Many different kinds of logic. According to the situation there is a logical progression.

[39:31]

We say things in the Dharma which should not be taken literally. But if you take it literally, it stops you. For instance, Dogen said, a Zen master's life could be nothing but one mistake, one continuous mistake. And if people take that literally, it stops them. And should I just keep making mistakes? I'm not making enough mistakes, so I... I can't keep Zen Master because there's some things I do that are not mistakes. But mistake doesn't mean mistake. If you explain it, it loses its meaning. How does Zen Master's life can be just one continuous mistake? To explain it, you lose the meaning. Things are not presented as literally.

[40:42]

Almost anything that the Chinese say should never be taken literally. Because they speak in poetic language. To us it's singsong. We say, oh, singsong. But to them, it's poetic language. It's always poetry. Just an ordinary conversation. So there's no time, no limit to our understanding of the teaching. Whether we understand it or not, we go on trying to understand. When we study in this kind of conviction, we will meet with valuable teachings rarely encountered, even a hundred thousand kalpas, a million kalpas. The Absolute Teaching is incomparable to any other teaching. Incomparable means you can't compare it. If you start to compare it, it loses its meaning.

[41:47]

An incomparable teaching does not mean it is the best teaching. Suzuki Roshi used to say, at least I may have heard him say, Buddhism is not the best teaching. So we can relax. This doesn't mean that it's not the best teaching. But we have to be able to say that it's not the best teaching. We have to be able to say that our wonderful success is not successful. If you don't understand that, then we just go on being arrogant. So we focus our studying on how to accept the teaching and live the teaching.

[42:55]

Whether or not our teaching is profound or lofty misses the point, which is to develop our attitude of study. This is characteristic of Zen and characteristic of true Buddhism. Rather than setting up a system of Buddhism, we emphasize our true practice. So, because Buddhism is not complete, it allows us to practice. As soon as something becomes complete, it becomes a fossil. So Buddhism has always been developed. It's a continual process of development. Not a static belief system. So faith is really important. But it's not faith in something that is static or has already happened.

[43:57]

It's faith in the fact that it's true and we have to come up to meet that truth. and to find it in ourself. So, all the rules we have are just to make practice easier. Not to make our door narrow, but to open our door to everyone. We know how difficult it is, so we set up some rules to help you practice. If there is no pole for you to climb up, it's difficult for you to experience the kind of feeling you have when you jump off the top. We can't take a step off the 100 foot pole unless we climb up it.

[45:00]

If a baby has no toy, it is rather difficult to have the actual experience of a human being. So there has to be something to work with. And it's been figured out that Zen practice has the toys that help us to practice. Uchiyama Roshi used to not have any the work period, and everybody faced the wall, and there was no kin hand or anything, just zazen. He said, this is the practice of no toys. But I think it's important to have toys to practice with. Otherwise, such a zazen is vague enough. So we have to have something to work with. And so we have the formal practice.

[46:04]

Because if we don't have the formal practice, there's nothing to come up against. You can't practice unless you come up against something. Something coming back and forth. So, if a baby has no toys, the rules we have are a kind of toy to help your experience as a Buddhist. It does not mean that the toy is always necessary, but when you are young it is necessary. So it is not necessary to always stick to the rules. What is important is to extend your way of life deeper and wider. To have a beautiful ceramic bowl is not necessary when you are ready to appreciate things. Whatever it is, things will encourage your practice. If you can enjoy your life in its true sense, And even if you injure your body, it's okay. Even if you die, it's okay.

[47:05]

When you are encouraged to be everything, when you are encouraged by everything, and you realize everything is always helping you, then there is no difference whether you are dead or alive. You know? Everything is going along with us. There are terrible things happening. There are wonderful things happening. But it's all just part of our life. And the purpose of life is to die. And the purpose of death is to live. We get stuck on one side. This is a complete renunciation. So your practice will be vigorous enough to continue forever, regardless of birth or death.

[48:08]

In this way, our enlightenment can be explained. How to practice in this way is up to you. I can't explain your understanding of Buddhism. You should explain your way of life as a Buddhist in your own way. My talk is just to encourage your practice. You can't follow it exactly, but maybe it will give you some suggestions. So, you say enlightenment is only the beginning. Not to try to get something that's already yours. We're wasting our time if we try to get something that we already have. putting your head on top of your own, or yielding to the lily, painting a picture of enlightenment on top of your head. So, I can answer it.

[49:14]

I can respond to it. I don't know if I can answer it, but I can respond to it. Oh yeah, James, hi. You were talking earlier about accepting pain. I didn't say that, but yes. I missed the last two days of session because I had a good I had a kidney stone. This is actually the second time. Four years ago I was sitting and I had a kidney stone and I went out of the emergency room.

[50:16]

You know, there's just times when nothing will help. There are times when nothing will help. I had one time I found myself, I couldn't stand up and I couldn't sit down. Standing up was really painful, so I tried to sit down, and sitting down was painful, so then I tried to stand up again, and there was no place that I could be. And so I went to the emergency room, and the doctor said, oh, it's probably gallstones, which it turned out to be. Which is something like kidney stones. So I understand your pain. I've experienced that myself. Out of that, we need to reach that point where the pain is everything.

[51:32]

That's right. But if you have some place to, you know, then where do you go, right? There's no place to go. That's a great enlightenment experience. You know, you can say that. You can say that. And it was, it was very full of life, I will admit. Total, totally, total life. Total presence. Total presence, total life. No escape. And it was not something I want to go through it again. You too. Nevertheless, as we say, shit happens. And nothing will help. Zazen doesn't help. Nothing will help.

[52:35]

He also has kidney stones. Come on now. There's a really amazing essay by Montague. you know, but you could go to the emergency room. And that's what's... it just reminds me of Katagiri, but she always talked me about emergency cases. Thank God for emergency rooms. But, what do you do? That's the real test. that don't be in such a hurry to get enlightened. You might not like it.

[53:38]

But I remember him also saying there are times when situations in which it's so painful that nothing will help. That's the place where we have to get through. And nobody can tell you what to do. I was so thankful that I did have a background in practice. And I don't know... I think that that did help me. But I can't tell you how. Because, you know, at that moment, that's where we know who we are. That's the bottom line of knowing who we are and what we're capable of. And nobody can tell us, nobody can say you do this or that. But those are some of the most painful experiences.

[54:43]

But it made all this seem like... I don't think so. Somehow Sachin and San are supposed to bring us to a point where we can accept anything. And there was this place where I just could not accept. I just had to live through it. You can't accept it, but you have to. As Katagiri Roshi used to say, we must bear the unbearable. We must bear the unbearable. When Japan lost the war, they called it bearing the unbearable. And Suzuki Roshi said, unless you are able to deal

[55:52]

with the fact of defeat, you're not mature enough.

[55:58]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ