Good morning. Good morning. I thought since probably a number of you don't know who I am from the proverbial home of renunciation, I'd introduce myself a little bit. I began practicing Zen Buddhism with Suzuki Roshi in 1966. And I was thinking this morning as I drove over here, I think, when the first time I met you, Mel, was when we went to Santa Rita. When there were a few of us in jail, we had a little company. I always like coming here very much because the scale very appealing to me.

[01:03]

The scale and the aesthetic of this place, which has been so consistent for many years. So I studied and practiced with Suzuki Roshi, and with Richard Baker, and with Pekka Roshi, whom I received on transmission about almost two years ago. And as some of you may know, I have in recent years also been studying with a Tibetan nun, who has actually helped me understand sotos in as much as any of my teachers, for which I'm very grateful. I'm a great believer in receiving teachings from wherever I can get them, because every day what I've discovered is so much I don't know. So although I have been doing some practices in classical mantra, mantrayana tradition, I feel, ironically, more deeply, intimately, at home in what is my home path in Sado Zen.

[02:18]

I'm Mary. In my second marriage, my husband and I both have grown children from our first marriages. And one of the great joys in my life is that I have a great friend and a spiritual friend who also happens to be my husband. And so we keep each other company in our ongoing inquiry, individually and collectively, to discover ways of waking up and staying with our intention to take on, in every moment, what is up above. And I noticed that having that kind of company within my family has made an enormous difference. And for that, I'm very grateful. I also, these days, find more and more sympathy from my children, which is also an unexpected blessing. I'm very interested in sacred arts and have, in this last year or so, been exploring making Buddhist figures in play.

[03:39]

I'm very nervously inching up towards stone. And so, in that particular realm, I feel like a real beginner, which is quite wonderful. What's most interesting to me is that in the last two years, really as a consequence of going through the practices that were part of the Dharma transmission work that I did with Dr. Arushi just before he died, in a way it has been for me understanding So what I'd like to talk about this morning comes out of that sense of starting on the path as if from the first time.

[04:39]

And in particular with the focus on how to cultivate virtue on every activity that I do in the course of the day. And in the context of looking into that possibility, which I think is so exquisitely the emphasis, I want to, in particular, look with you at the I was pretty clear what I wanted to talk about this morning, so it's always interesting to me where I get a certain kind of reaffirmation for a theme. As I was driving over here on the news, there was a description of a kind of game being played somewhere, having to do with do we need stockbrokers or not.

[05:50]

And in the game, which lasts for three months, there are two or three professional stockbrokers and one housewife from Lafayette, who doesn't know anything about the stock market and hasn't had any training and is just doing it out of her common sense. She's in third place with her eye on first place, halfway through the game. But one of the instructions, if you will, or guidelines that the more experienced stockbrokers who were interviewed, as they reported on how this game was going, was the advice that you should buy stock from a company that you trust, you know something about, or have some confidence in. And that you should hold your stocks with a view to the long haul and not be affected by the ups and downs that occur on a daily basis.

[06:53]

And of course I'm always struck by how much good advice we have when it comes to the world of money and commerce and stocks and bonds, but we don't think of it as being applicable to our spiritual life. But I think it might be. And in a way, paying attention to intention and motivation is a little bit like, you know, buy some stocks in a company that you trust and don't sell them too quickly. Hang on to them with a view to the long haul. Don't get discouraged too much by the ups and downs that occur one day. I'm always looking for Dharma texts in the ordinary culture that we live in. So the great source of guidance in the world of management, a man named Peter Drucker, has always interested me, particularly because I think he understands about these matters which we are so concerned with in the practice of Buddha's way.

[08:10]

In his autobiography, Adventures of a Bystander, in one of the chapters he talks about his third grade teacher and the principal of the elementary school, Miss Elsie and Miss Sophie. And how in his autobiography what he did was to talk about the people or events in his life that were central turning points. And he said, knowing Ms. Elsie and Ms. Sophie in the third grade were such circumstances because they basically taught him about clear intention. Figure out what you want. Keep it in mind. Think about a good clear strategy for how to get from here to there. Do it in terms of this morning and today and this week. Keep it very specific and particular. So, in much the same way, I would propose that we take on the practice of finding our clear intention in our inner life, in our spiritual life.

[09:20]

And when I talk with other practitioners about this, very often the question that comes up is, well, what do I do if I don't know what my clear intention is? Maybe I take on as my clear intention the cultivation of being a bodhisattva, but that may seem very remote. I may feel like that's not something I can actually do, something I can read about, and I can know that there have been bodhisattvas in the world, but maybe not in the world as we know it today, or certainly not. Oh no, I couldn't become a bodhisattva. And yet I think if we really take to heart the example of Shakyamuni Buddha and of many, many, many great realized beings who have lived since the time of Shakyamuni Buddha, the very revolutionary message in the teachings are that, in fact, that's exactly it, that this is a challenge to each of us, to find a way to cultivate realization.

[10:29]

that in fact the very inspiration and possibility that the Buddhist teachings carry is that we can become realized beings seeking the cultivation of enlightenment for the sake of all beings in this lifetime. And that it won't do to let ourselves off the hook. But I know in my own life the big question has been, okay, let's say that's at least theoretically so, how do I get from here to there? And I know for myself, having the Bodhisattva vow come alive as something I could actually pick up in my own hand has had everything to do with knowing a few realized beings who are examples of the possibility Nothing like a real live, breathing, contemporary human being who has cultivated a certain set of qualities, those marks of a Bodhisattva, to inspire us about what is possible.

[11:44]

So one of my first suggestions is that if you don't know what your clear intention is, One of the no-lose possibilities is that you can take on the cultivation of your clear intention. So you can't do it wrong. Even in the midst of confusion, you can say, well, I don't know what my intention is, but I want to find out. And my experience is that if I hold in my mind the possibility of cultivating clear intention, that I will in time with patience discover what it is. In the last year or two, my husband and I have been puzzling together about what's the difference between intention and motivation. In the English language, it's not entirely easily clear, except at some feeling level, it seems like there's some difference.

[12:51]

I've always had some idea that intention is what I am moving towards. And lots of times when I ask myself, what's my motivation? I'm asking myself after I've done something, after I've said something, after I've been in a particular situation. And I'll say to myself, well, what was my motivation in that conversation? So I may check my motivation after the fact. Motivation seems to be a little different. We, right now, are blessed with a very big Buddhist slumber party. We have 17 monks from the Gyuto monastery who arrived in dribbles and drabs this week. Eight of them came on Monday. Nine of them came on Wednesday and Thursday. Six of them left. So we now have a mere 11. And they will be in and out of the house for the next three or four months.

[13:58]

So the minute they arrive, what happens is the ongoing Tibetan English lesson. And when they first started coming to stay with us some years ago, it focused on what Bill would call kitchen Tibetan and kitchen English. But it's slowly gotten to be more and more Dharma Tibetan and Dharma English. So last night, I was in bed nursing the tooth I no longer have, which was pulled a couple of days ago. Bill came bursting into the bedroom and said, I finally got it about motivation and intention. What's interesting about the Tibetan language is that particularly the Tibetan that is used for teachings, for Dharma, comes from the word-for-word translation from Sanskrit.

[15:02]

So as many early texts carrying the teachings of Shakyamuni Buddha and later practitioners disappeared we can actually recreate word for word those early Sanskrit texts by going from the Tibetan back to Sanskrit because they originally were translated from Sanskrit into Tibetan and for every word in Sanskrit there is only one word in Tibetan unlike English where we may have two or three or five words for the same idea. So it turns out that in Tibetan, the word for intention has to do with focus, like the balsam, what you're aiming towards. And motivation means in Tibetan something like mind power, the power of the mind, like the general.

[16:04]

I thought that was pretty interesting. So in the cultivation of clear intention, my suggestion is to start small and to, if possible, start before you get out of your warm, cozy bed in the morning. What is my intention this morning between now and breakfast? And then I can later graduate to, well, what is my intention for the day? Most recently I've been asking myself, what is my clear intention with respect to my speaking today? And I made a vow that I would not speak in the morning until I had established my clear intention, making it as specific as I could. with regards to speaking, the sounds that escape out of my mouth for the day.

[17:09]

I have a small black dog who is our child substitute, our friends sometimes say. So she sleeps with us. Her name is Balcha Chakor, which means black dog in Basque. It has some sense of when I'm about to wake up. So I wake up, my one eye opens, and there is this little black snout right there looking at me. And what I've discovered is that as I have taken on this practice of clear intention, she helps me remember. Oh, that's what I want to think about before I say anything, even to Balcha. And so I take a few moments to think about and declare for myself my intention to speak in those ways which are conducive to harmony, to kindliness and a loving heart, to sympathetic joy with myself and with others.

[18:20]

And what I've noticed is that even my speaking to the dog has become a little bit different. I may want to re-establish my intention in terms of keeping it very specific several times during the day. And what I noticed when I first began working with this practice of cultivating clear intention, I noticed that the shorter the term and the more specific the more I was actually able to work in a way that felt authentic, felt like I was actually picking up some intention that fit for my life that particular morning or afternoon or evening. So that if I was about to go to a meeting that I anticipated with some difficulty, I could actually ask myself, what is my intention?

[19:27]

in my activity, my participation in this meeting. And that as I did that, I began to, in time, have some sense of what my intention was for a week, or for a month, or two. And that eventually out of that came some clear intention for the year, the season, and then the year. And that one day I realized that for me, from the inside out, not just reading about it or reciting it sort of mechanically, that the Bodhisattva vial came alive as a statement of my intention for my life. But that it arose out of these very small declarations of clear intention and had become an articulation of some wholehearted lifetime vow that felt, after many, many years of practice for the first time, like something quite true was beginning to arise.

[20:46]

And I would say that that process, that whole process, took a couple of years. and that I've been doing this now for about six years, and I still find asking myself, checking in, what is my clear intention for today? What is my clear intention as I sit down in my seat before I speak with all of you this morning? That that practice of looking at, setting, attending to my potential is extremely helpful and beneficial. And then out of that I can then ask myself in specific situations, what is my motivation? Either after the fact or more hopefully more often before the fact. What motivates me? What is the engine turning me in the specific

[21:53]

interchanges in my life with myself and with others. So I think that this is central, this is primary in doing practices particularly that help us cultivate being awake, being mindful in the midst of our ordinary everyday lives. When we drive the car, when we answer the phone, when we wash the dishes, when we speak with those with whom we live, work. Perhaps my intention for this week or this month or this year is the cultivation of generosity. And I can ask myself as I am driving along the freeway and I step on the accelerator rather than slow down as someone is trying to get onto the freeway from a side road. Is this an instance of the cultivation of generosity?

[22:59]

Did I forget? Was my motivation, because I wasn't quite so attentive, me first? Because of course practicing in this way means being willing to know what my motivation is even when my motivation isn't thrilling me. In fact, most important to know what my motivation is when it's not thrilling me. Being willing to pay attention, to know when my motivation is essentially self-claiming, or desire, or aversion. Because of course I can't transform I can't provide an antidote to unwholesome motivation if I don't know that I have it. So being aware of that motivation, which may not be so wholesome, may be coming from a smaller mind, is the step on the path of being able to cultivate a big mind, that mind which is generous and equanimous.

[24:11]

that mind which has about it the cultivation of what is traditionally called virtue, purity. We talk about maybe we exist in muddy water with purity like the lotus. The lotus of course depends upon the mud and muck of the pond for nourishment. Its very purity is not divorced from the muck and mud. What is the muck and mud of my daily life? Am I able to, am I willing to know the detail of what motivates my speaking, my action, my thoughts? Because if I am willing to know what motivates what I actually do, I then am on that path which leads to the liberation which arises from knowing that I have a choice. I have a choice in my state of mind between acting from anger and acting from loving-kindness.

[25:19]

I may not be able to move to that state of mind which is loving or kindly or generous overnight, but with patience and perseverance I can eventually cultivate that mind. Every time the monks from the Kyoto Monastery come to stay with us, I have always been deeply grateful for the possibility of having them sleep over. Because they are practitioners who are totally dedicated to being awake in every moment of the day and night. And what surprises me over and over again is that in a group of 17 monks, ranging in age from 21 to 72, they have this quality of evenness, of a kind of high-level, even energy, attentiveness, enthusiasm, joy, remarkable sweetness.

[26:35]

even after traveling for close to 24 hours, eating strange airplane food, hauling the most enormous pieces of luggage I've ever seen in my life. T-shirts for all of us to buy as a way of supporting members. They arrive. At 5 o'clock in the afternoon, they came to the house and had a cup of tea. We had some noodles. They went to bed. And in the morning, they'd walk, did their practices, and seemed completely on course. No such thing as I could tell, anyway, as jet lag. living their life as they lead it, wherever they are, whatever they do.

[27:40]

So I feel like what I have walking around in my life these days is the illustrations of the mindfulness sutra. This is what mindful awareness looks like. This is what the cultivation of the bodhisattva path looks like. This is why I'm inspired and encouraged. So when I leave my keys in the middle of the dining room table and go out to start the car to come here and then I have to go back in and get my keys, we all laugh softly at my mindlessness. Because of course, if I can't notice that I wasn't paying attention and didn't pick up the keys, that is a way for me to pay better attention. to when I'm not dancing. So we can, wherever we are, whatever we're doing, whatever our activity, there's not a single thing that we do in the course of our lives that cannot be the occasion for practice.

[28:57]

And most of all, I think what helps us to see this possibility is to be clear about what our intention is, and to have a sense about the process of checking on the connection. And what I've learned is that if I set my motivation first thing in the day, and then at the end of the day, just before I go to sleep, check again to see how did it go, that mostly the day goes pretty well. And that even when the day doesn't go so well, there is some benefit, there is some teaching for me in the horizon of obstacles and difficulties. That this is a way to have our spiritual life not be located only here in the Zen Dojo,

[30:01]

or on our cushion at home when we are practicing formal Zazen practice. But that we have the possibility of letting the mind that we cultivate in our sitting practice ooze throughout the course of every activity of body, speech, and mind. And that when we do that, we have the possibility of a kind of deep happiness, because there is indeed nowhere to go Nothing to do except what we're doing in the moment. That this is a very profound and radical teaching. It is indeed the path to liberation from suffering. That our suffering arises when we obsess about what did or didn't happen in the past and worry about what will or won't happen in the future. That it all fades away when we attend rigorously and attentively to this moment.

[31:04]

And that we can do that. It may be bumpy and we may not be thrilled at first, but if we're patient and kindly, we will find the particular way to set our intention and check our motivation. and that no one else can do it for us. We are the only ones who can do that, each of us. We can keep each other company, but no one can mind my cultivation of clear intention for me. I must do it myself. So I would invite you all to explore this process of clarifying, finding clear intention and checking, inquiring into motivation. I would encourage you to do this practice with the language which is particular, specific, and descriptive, and have a good time.

[32:15]

So I wonder if you have some questions or something you want to, or not for us to talk about. Well, one example that I mentioned already is the example that I brought up about focusing in particular on my speech, on my language. And I actually have, for quite a long time, done practices that have to do with language because the payoff is quite immediate. And I think that this is an area where we can actually affect not only our speaking, but our thinking. Because, of course, the language that we use habitually in speaking to each other is also the language that we tend to use in speaking to ourselves and our thoughts. So one of the most powerful focuses, I think, for many of us is to pay attention.

[33:26]

to be attentive to the language that carries judgment, the habit of judgment. Not the judgment which we know we're making, but that which is habitual. Where we're being critical, habitually critical and dissatisfied with ourselves and others. So for example, I might focus on dropping that language which carries comparisons. as a kind of category of judgment. And I might say for myself this morning or today, I want to notice whenever I use comparative adjectives or acronyms. And as much as possible, replace them with language which is more descriptive in particular. And in fact, I did that a few years ago for 10 days, and at the end of that 10 days, picked up as I had become more attentive to my habitual ways of speaking that carried comparative statements, I took on a more positive intention of using language which was specific and prescriptive.

[34:48]

that I noticed it was conducive to a degree of attentiveness, but being more accurate in what I would say, and that that seemed to be helpful in my interactions with other people. I might take on, for example, the intention of not lying, a good troublesome practice. I can use any of the precepts as a focus of my attention. I want to take on the practice of not harming. Well, one of the first things I need to do then is to notice whatever happens in the course of the day that leads to some harming for myself or for someone else. Excuse me, I have a sciatic nerve that is my teacher. I think that for us as Americans, practices that pertain to our behavior are very important.

[35:58]

So using the precepts, the teachings about right speech, can be extremely useful and can be the source of inspiration for our intentions. And in the beginning, what that means is to notice what we do and what the consequences are of what we do. So, for example, for me to notice my habit for many years, maybe from when I was very young, to always notice when I would go into a situation, to always notice what was wrong. and to comment on what needed to be cleaned up or fixed or wasn't working. And so, as a kind of counterbalance, I decided, all right, I am going to, this week, focus on what I see that is right. Not that I'm not going to notice what's wrong when I go to Green Arch, but I will only speak about what I notice that is right.

[37:10]

had a profound and immediate effect in my life. Almost immediately my friends at Green Gulch seemed to respond more favorably to seeing me coming. Because I was not quite so vehemently traveling bad news. Yes? I was struck when you talked about the monks, the fact that they are always, always in community from a very young age. And in our time, we are always alone. And even if we have family, we still have a great deal of fear about that aloneness. I somehow had that image of those monks because I can see that near joy because they are so taken care of and held by the others.

[38:16]

You know what David Sendleros calls holding for solitude in communities. And so I wonder if you could speak to that, about we who are really much, much more alone. Well, of course, one of the things that's interesting about monastics in many religious traditions, and I think is particularly fruitful to look into for those of us in the Zen tradition, is to understand how much developed monastic life is really the cultivation of our both sangha, group mind, but also our solitary cultivation, and that they go together. And that maybe what we need in our culture is more to bring things back into balance.

[39:19]

Because of the way our society is organized, because of the way we live, we no longer have the kinds of communal connections that have until fairly recently been in place. Because we move around, we don't have community in the context of family or a neighborhood or a village. And we have such, particularly in the United States, such a fierce emphasis on our independence. Nobody's going to tell me what to do. And at the same time, a kind of, I think, deep longing for a sense of connectedness. So I think the more we understand about our own society and culture, and what is coming up for us as Americans living in this culture now, 1991, the more we can understand what arises in us by way of a kind of yearning.

[40:28]

And to be careful not to idealize practitioners, for example. It's very easy to idealize a monastic sangha like this group of monks. They look quite good. And we can, I think we have a particular ability to idealize. One of the reasons we get into such trouble in the kind of idealization we sometimes get into with teachers And that doesn't work so well for us as Americans. For me, in spending time with a monastic community like this group of monks that's standing with us right now, is to pay attention to what are the sources of cultivation in their life as a Sangha.

[41:34]

that are useful resources for us as practitioners, both for me as an individual and for us as an extended Sangha, both within the context of the lineages in tradition, schools that we are part of, in the sense of Sangha, which exists for any of us who are practicing Buddhists, but who may be within the tradition of Buddhism in sub-categories, followers of the 50 paths. What connects us? And it seems to me that, in particular, the area of intention is one of the places where we have some like-mindedness. What we aspire to cultivate in ourselves and what we honor and respect and can be taught by in others. is what connects us.

[42:36]

And where can we allow that sense of connectedness to flourish? Because that's when we can also cultivate trust in ourselves and in others. I think one of the great benefits in doing long periods of meditation together, doing sushis, is that we have a kind of direct experience of connectedness on breath. Very powerful. to spend a few days or a week breathing together. And we almost don't think about it, we just do it. But then we don't say, well, how can I cultivate that quality of connectedness with the people that I live with or the people that I work with? This is where I think His Holiness the Dalai Lama's proposal that we need to cultivate universal responsibility and that maybe our religion might be the religion of happiness.

[43:42]

It's pretty helpful because is there anyone, any of us knows who doesn't want to be happy? Even our worst enemy wants to be happy. And when I keep that in mind, my behavior with my worst enemy changes. If I say to myself, even this creepy guy standing here in front of me that I think is just this creepy guy, if I just keep it in my mind, this person also wants to be happy, and so isn't so different from me. So for me anyway, that sense of always coming back to what connects me with another person comes back to this ground of what is my intention. At the deepest place, my intention is to remember that I'm not separate from any other being than wanting to be happy and not wanting to suffer. That connects me, no matter what our views are. How much we all respond to an act of kindness, an act of generosity.

[44:53]

How little it costs us. to just wave to that person who's trying to cut in. My husband, who is a kind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, has commented on how much better he feels when he drives to the office and remembers, oh, that's right, I'm practicing generosity as I drive home from work. Oops, I forgot. One day somebody was driving on tailgating him, going over the two-lane road from Mirror Beach to Highway 101. And he was not about to let this person pass him. Finally, he relented and let the person pass him. And then he realized what he'd been doing. And he tried to speed up and and signal a person to pull over so he could apologize. Because when he realized what he'd been doing, he was quite ashamed of himself. So it was a really big teaching for him.

[45:58]

Oops, look what happened in my safe room. Well, that's always my inquiry. You know, is it the self that is caught by some sense of I am? Very often. The self that I cling to, the self-clinging habit is what I notice is motivating. Motivating me. That sense of self which is very transparent where I have that cultivated sense of how you feel is my feeling doesn't get into that kind of trouble. That quality of sense of self which is not separate from any other being doesn't have the thought arise of

[47:18]

You're not going to cut in front of me, dammit. That's that small, frightened condition to I am speaking. And I can't cultivate that wise, deep, wise mind. by grasping for it. I can allow it to arise. I can do certain practices that are conducive to that arising, but I can't make it happen. This is where I think the central, really peculiar contribution of the Buddhist teaching about the nature of things, that nothing has independent self-existence.

[48:20]

is the crucial insight. And for us as Westerners, it is the most troublesome and difficult point to understand. We can get it intellectually, maybe, but to really get it at a cellular level, all of our training, conditioning, as Westerners, goes against the grain of the teaching on the wisdom of understanding emptiness. I'm supposed to stop in a few minutes? One more question? Yes? I have three 13-year-old boys in my life, and for various reasons. And just by being 13-year-old boys, they are facing greater difficulties and confusion and suffering than any of us, or all of you. And I was wondering if you have any thoughts or advice on how to make this practice available to you somehow.

[49:25]

Do it yourself. And that's it. I remember some years ago when Steven LeVant's kids were teenagers and one day he did a little confession about how his kids were always listening to him doing little Dharma talks. And their response was, put it on tape. The only times I have seen my children pay attention to what I might teach them is when they see me enacting it in my life. Nothing else interests or impresses them. They have an instinct. for when I'm trying to get them to put on their sweater because I'm cold.

[50:28]

Getting them to do it right because I know from the inside what it's like to do it wrong. But until I turn to doing whatever in my own life, they aren't interested. And they have an impeccable truth-seeking nose. You've had your shock with them. When they're young, we have a chance to do a certain kind of training. But once they're adolescents, I think the whole game is about being a model. And even if I'm doing it as if, if I know I'm doing it as if, this is what I can do in my life. because I know what states of mind I need to work with.

[51:33]

I recognize what my limitations are, what my habits are. It can be enormously helpful. I come from an alcoholic family, generations on both my side and my children's father's side of the family. And I would say that as my children have joined me, we are collectively turning And that what they understand is that together we may make a difference in their children's lives. And that we can be sympathetic and kindly as we see certain patterns in my life and in their lives. For me to think I'd get in there and fix it with my kids. And that helplessness is very difficult for most of us. We're not thrilled with that meeting of that condition of, oh, here's a place where I'm helpless.

[52:39]

That's where this gesture of this marvelous Buddha, all is well. Do not be afraid. Turn and share. Where is that place? Where is that state of mind where this is actually so? And how can I cultivate that? mind that knows in some deep way all is well. One of my teachers once said to me, you know, it may not be that the world is imperfect, it may be that your perception of the world is imperfect. That was really what led me to that practice about focusing on what's right. And I began to see that there was great perfection in the world, but that I had a habit of only seeing what was imperfect. And so I needed to cultivate that eyesight, which is capable of seeing the perfection of the world.

[53:54]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ