We've been living outside. We've been sitting in the dirt and sitting on poncho liners. All of this stuff is still a bit foreign to us. We've been walking for, we walked for 151 days. This is the 154th day of our pilgrimage. And in fact, we are not finished. We'll spend about a week and a half, two weeks in the Bay Area, because we have been invited to do a number of things there. And if any of you are interested in attending any of the other talks or things that we do, there will be a schedule. And you can see my Geshe-la, Itka, and she can give you a copy of that schedule and see that you get it. And when I was getting on to the tongs, It's not something that I'm accustomed to.

[01:01]

I'm ordained a Soto Zen monk in the White Plum lineage, which has its origins with Mayazumi Roshi. And I'm ordained by Tetsugen Glassman Roshi, who was the only person from Mayazumi Roshi to receive Dharma transmission. As I'm, we sit always on the floor. We have zapotanas and zapas, we sit on the floor, so this is all new to me. And I just kept running through my head as we were getting up, as I was getting on to the tan, don't step on the kitchen table. It's interesting what stays in one's head. My walking stick was given to me by a fellow Vietnam veteran. I served in the American military during the Vietnam War.

[02:06]

I enlisted at the age of 17 and I volunteered to go to Vietnam. I went to Vietnam when I was 17. I was a crew chief on helicopters, troop carrying ships and gunships. Virtually every day that I served in Vietnam was the day of combat for me. Actual fighting. I was responsible directly for the deaths of hundreds of people. How do I know that? Because I kept count. You know, we've all seen the western movies Cowboys used to notch their gun handles. We had a practice, we had a, something that we did is before we left on a particular mission, before we left every morning, we would pool our money together.

[03:11]

And then those with the most confirmed kills at the end of the day would collect the money. You know, what's Bundy's name? His first name? McGeorge. McGeorge Bundy? McGeorge Bundy. He's one of the most renowned serial killers. Oh, Ed Bundy. Ed Bundy. Maybe McGeorge too, huh? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe McGeorge too. Ed Bundy is one of the most renowned serial killers in this country's history. He was executed. I'm not mistaken. And he killed, I don't know, 30 people? See, I know profoundly the teaching of interconnectedness. It's not possible for me to avoid that.

[04:16]

The war taught me that. I am not different from Ed Bundy. None of us are. And if we see ourselves as different from Ed Bundy, if we see ourselves as different from the other, that is exactly the root of suffering and that is exactly the root at which we can then commit violence to another, whether that violence is an actual physical act or if it's emotional violence or if it's intellectual violence. The moment I see myself as superior or different or separate from This is what the war taught me. But in fact, I didn't know that in the moment. It took me several years and much more suffering before I could begin to wake up to that. Billy Ledger found this stick in the woods in Vermont. He lives in Brattleboro, Vermont. He served during the Vietnam War in the Navy and walked with me on the first pilgrimage I walked on.

[05:21]

This is not the first. I received Jukai in Auschwitz. Tessugun Glassman gave me Jukai at the site of one of the crematoriums in Auschwitz. And then I began a pilgrimage in which I walked from Auschwitz to Vietnam. 5,000 miles, 8 months, 21 countries. Why do I walk? I don't like it so much. I'm American. It's not in my blood to walk. I was born and raised in rural America in Waterford, Pennsylvania. Northwestern Pennsylvania in a farming community of 900 people. Maybe not. They said 900. We had one red light, one pharmacy, three gas stations, four bars, and eight churches.

[06:22]

All different denominations. I was baptized in the Methodist Church. My parents had a lot of struggles when I was a young boy and so they stopped going, hence I stopped going, but I went to the different churches with all of my friends. It was a Catholic Church, a Nazarene Church, a Methodist Church, a Presbyterian Church, an Episcopal Church, Seventh-day Adventist Church, a Baptist Church and several other Bible studies. Bible churches, full Gospel evangelical Bible churches. And I heard them all saying the same thing and all saying that in order to accomplish this same thing that we had to do it their way because their way was the only way. So at about 8 or 9 years old I really understood that there was something askew. I came to the study and practice of Zen when I was 14 years old.

[07:28]

through the martial arts. My first teacher was a Korean and I stayed committed to the martial arts for about 28 years, two different styles. 1989, I had five schools and somewhere, give or take a few, I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 students. I offered a course, I offered a class twice a week only for people of the rank of black belt and higher, of all different traditions. You have always believed in ecumenism. One night we were doing, I was teaching this class and part of this class was about fighting, One person would stand in the center of a ring of twelve people and they would spar everybody in the circle for two minutes. Very intensive practice.

[08:31]

And I heard two people walking behind me saying, you know, my style is better than your style because I can kick your butt. They didn't say butt. And just in that moment I had this just enlightenment, what I call an enlightening experience. It's like all of a sudden I just was really aware that this was not the way, that what I was doing was perpetuating suffering and that I didn't want to do this anymore. So within one week I divested myself of everything. I gave him away, just divested myself of everything, stopped. The bell, when it rings, I've come to know this as a bell of mindfulness. It invites me to stop what I'm doing and just come back to my breath. To live in the present moment.

[09:33]

Because there is nothing else except this moment. Nothing else exists. There is no past, there is no future. It is all here. Although what I've come to learn is that if I'm living intensely in the present moment, all things are here. the past is here, the present, the future and then my task is simply to learn to live with these like still water. So actually those people talking were a bell of mindfulness for me and I just stopped, I stopped doing everything and had no idea what to do next and was invited by a social worker whom I was seeing on a regular basis in a professional capacity, that there was a Vietnamese monk who did work with Vietnam veterans because I was struggling immensely with the issues around Vietnam. They were constantly present in my life and I wanted them gone because of course everyone was telling me, ah, the war's over, just forget about it, you know, you survived, just put it in the past.

[10:43]

I've never been able to do that ever, never. And what I've come to learn through this practice is that emptiness is not a void, but emptiness is the ability to live in harmony with all things, to accept the presence of suffering as a natural condition of my life, the teaching of the Buddha. What I understand of the Buddha's teaching, as it's written, is that unless we understand the first of the Four Noble Truths, suffering is a natural condition of life that none of the other teachings can open for us. So what is the nature of my suffering? To be constantly open to that, not clinging, not rejecting, just open to it, so that it can be present in my life. And then the framework of spiritual practice, which we have here, helps me to hold it. And in the holding of this suffering, transformation can take place. Healing, I have come to understand in my person, is not the absence of suffering, but learning to live.

[11:51]

with the reality of my life. As I learn to live and accept suffering it has less of a grip on me." Billy Ledger found a stick in the woods and then he cleaned it up, carved it, wrapped it, polyurethane it and then wrapped it in leather, the handle, and gave it to me so that he could walk with me on this pilgrimage. He's currently on the Middle Passage pilgrimage. He's walking with the Nichiren monks to Africa. And so when I first saw the stick, I said, I can't walk with this. I've never walked with a stick before. but because Billy presented it to me and I wanted him to be able to walk with me this was the only way I carried it and boy am I glad that I carried it.

[12:54]

This stick has really helped me. In the first week we started on the 1st of March in Yonkers New York and we've walked through New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, California. Right through the middle The largest town between Hackettstown, New Jersey... Let me rephrase that. The largest town after we left Hackettstown, New Jersey wasn't until Peoria, Illinois. The average size of the towns that we walked through were between 800 and 2,500. And when we walked into a town of 2,500 people, it was huge. I mean, this was a huge place. because we really walked through rural America. We walked on the highways, not on the interstates. We're not permitted to walk on interstate, on limited access highways. It's against the law.

[13:54]

So we walked on major routes, but two lane highways. Sometimes walking, there just wasn't, there was just a white line in the road. There wasn't any space and we walked. We walked in mindfulness, which is one of the Eightfold Path, Right Mindfulness. The Eightfold Path is generated from the Four Noble Truths. It is the Fourth Noble Truth. The Eightfold Path is the practice that helps us to wake up. Right Mindfulness. What I appreciate about Buddhist teaching, however, is that I've never read anywhere where it says, this is Right Mindfulness. You have to do it like this. What I always hear in Buddhist teaching, which really enabled me It drew me into this practice and enabled me to embrace a spiritual path which has really assisted me in the process of healing, was that it's written that there is no one way to enlightenment, that we have to find our way.

[15:02]

We walked without money, I've taken the vows of amending it. So we walk without money, we have nothing except the clothes on our back. We walked 15 to 30 miles a day and we often had no idea where we were going to stay next. I did an American version of Takahatsu. Takahatsu traditionally, as I understand it, I've never done traditional Takahatsu. But as I understand it, you walk with your ball and you just stand in front of a place and say nothing. until people give you something. They may put rocks in your bowl of food or they may just grab you by the collar and pull you away but they do something. I figured here in America I might stand in front of a place for months before anyone ever figured out or the police would just come and take me away. So I modified it because what I understand of mindfulness is that to be mindful in the

[16:12]

application of the practice. So we would go from town to town and we would knock on the doors of religious institutions first and then we would ask them for a simple place to stay and simple food to eat, accepting that if they all said no then we would sleep outside and we would not eat. And that has happened to us. Not so often but it has happened to us. The walk through Pennsylvania and Ohio were quite difficult. people were very frightened and very narrow. Ohio was the most difficult state. In the entire state of Ohio only four churches opened their doors to us. But also in Ohio we experienced some of the most powerful intense spontaneous acts of generosity. The first town that we visited in Ohio was a town named Poland, Ohio. We walked from Newcastle to Poland.

[17:15]

It's great. We did that in about eight hours. Newcastle, Pennsylvania, to Poland, Ohio. Poland's just south of Youngstown. We, in fact, asked every church in Poland, and there were several, and they all said no. Some churches said, excuse me, did I hear you right? You're Buddhist? We said, yes, of course. They said, we wouldn't let you step foot in our building. And of course in the spirit of Takahashi we bow to them, thank them for their teaching and thank them for listening to us really from a place of genuineness and we went to the next place. Because what was rising in me is that I wanted to really engage them in dialogue and convince them of the error of their ways and teach them about Christian doctrine and how everyone was supposed to open their doors or I wanted to just punch them in the face. You know, this is the feelings that rise.

[18:18]

But I'm ordained by Tetsugan Glassman, Roshi, and in fact Tetsugan has formed a new order called the Zen Peacemaker Order. I refer to this as the first all-Western Buddhist order. And I've been told that I'm the first monk ordained in that order, although I don't know if that's true or not, because I spend most of my time outside and wandering. So there's a lot happening that I'm not aware of. People tell me this. So sometimes I say that, but I say that with the caveat that I don't really know for sure. Nonetheless, I'm one of the first monks ordained in that order. The order is based on three core tenets. Penetrating the unknown, bearing witness, and healing. Penetrating the unknown, letting the unknown be our teacher. So, in fact, when we knocked on the door, and we knocked on the doors of all churches, we didn't discriminate, we knocked on the door.

[19:19]

Even though I would see the sign on a particular church, I'd go, oh, no, I don't, oh. We'd knock on the door anyway. Because, in fact, there were times when we were quite surprised. And whatever we were given, We accepted that with as much graciousness and humility as we were capable of, bowing and then, if it was a no, going to the next place. If it was a yes. And believe me, no is a lot easier to deal with than yes. Because what happens when people start saying yes, then we begin to take that for granted and begin to expect that people say yes. And then when somebody says no, we're angry. How could you say no? You're supposed to. Yes is a very important practice. It's not such an easy practice. To really let the unknown be our teacher, to not take for granted anything, but constantly, constantly, constantly pay attention to the smallest particle.

[20:21]

To be grateful for the breath that we take, for every morsel of food that we've been given. People have asked the question, well, why did you walk? Why did you walk? What's your goal? And I'd say, well, I walk just to walk. And they'd go, what does that mean? How can you walk just to walk? I mean, what benefit is that? But in fact, it is the teaching of the unknown. If I have an agenda, then often I'm so focused on accomplishing that agenda that I miss life. I'm not really living in the present moment. I'm closed to all of the opportunities that the unknown can present. that each moment can present because I'm so busy attempting to accomplish this goal. I have been called the Antichrist and yet was still able to have a dialogue with the pastor who called me the Antichrist because in fact I look for the place where we commonly touch.

[21:33]

which is separate from dogma and tradition and ritual. Look for the place in humanity where we commonly touch. And from that point, then begin to talk. From that point. And it's amazing the transformations we've seen. Amazing. We've been in Deerfield, Ohio. We were walking into a town named Deerfield, Ohio. We just walked through two counties in Ohio that are strongly held by the Ku Klux Klan. They exist in this country and they are strong in certain areas. Now, can you imagine a bald-headed guy in a dress walking in front of a group of people who were Caucasian? and of color through Ku Klux Klan territory.

[22:42]

You know, no one ever bothered us. Not once. The most challenging experiences we had were from the police. They were the most aggressive. And we had a couple of occasions in Ohio. The first occasion in Ohio, we walked into a town named The first place we came was the church and of course we went to the church to begin knocking on doors. I saw a sheriff's car drive by and then it turned around and pulled into the parking lot rather quickly. The officer got out of the car, came right up in my face and said, you are not allowed to ask for money. And I said, I'm a soldier. I'm trained as a soldier. intensely trained. When people get aggressive with me, part of my internal structure is to respond to aggression with aggression, to escalate that level of violence to a point at which they no longer, they're suddenly out of their element.

[23:53]

And I have the capacity to do that. The practice for me is bearing witness to what's rising in me and healing, which means to not be controlled by my suffering, to hold it and at the same time not act it out and to talk with this police officer with compassion and directness. So to simply explain to the police officer, you know, we're not asking for money, this is who we are, I'm a Zen Buddhist We're on an alms-prayer pilgrimage because of course they wouldn't have understood Takahatsu. We're on an alms-prayer pilgrimage and excuse me just a moment but I'm going to reach in my bag and take out a flight." You see, because it's being aware. I'm not going to reach in my bag with an anxious police officer because they may think I'm going for a gun. So it's just really consider their humanity, touch them in that place and engage them. In the process of talking to one police officer, suddenly there were two more cars.

[25:00]

We were surrounded. But in fact, if we hold the practice at a center, do not let our suffering control us by projecting, let's say, their jerks, so they deserve to be treated like this. Because of course, when I'm doing this, I have three of those pointing back at me. It's a constant bell of mindfulness. to hold a place that the feelings that I have are mine, to stay centered and to talk as clearly as I can about what I'm doing. And, geez, within about 15 minutes we were taking photos of each other, we were petting a dog and a police officer was calling his father who was a minister to arrange a place for us to stay, they're going to take us to lunch. You know, it all just has the possibility, if we bear witness if we just step into the unknown, let the unknown be our teacher, bear witness to what's happening and then allow healing to take place which is to not be controlled by the nature of our suffering, to wake up to the First Noble Truth.

[26:13]

Then the other teachings that we experience on a daily basis can begin to manifest themselves in our lives. We've all had the opportunity, myself being the person in robes, I walked in robes by the way, yeah, I walked in, I have a modified version of the Kuroma, this is the two-piece Kuroma, excuse me, this is a two-piece thing, because I knew it was going to get hot, so I'm able to take the top off and I have a shirt underneath that sleeveless, the synthetic nature that absorbs and wicks moisture and then my peacemaker vest I wear with my rock suit and I walk in robes. So that people can see. You know, it was important for me to do this. So that people could see the face of Buddhism in the West. But it's important for me because I'm ordained as a Soto Zen priest, as a monk.

[27:16]

I'm ordained as a Zen peacemaker priest. And for me it's important to really embody that. To embody that for me means to wear the clothes that I wear. and to wear them always. To not be hidden or closed or secret but to be clear. My presence often becomes a bell of mine. When we're walking through Indiana and Illinois in these small towns they have what's named a ministerial alliance where all of the churches put money together and if someone's in need and they approach a church and the church goes to the ministerial alliance and gets money to help them out. To me, I understand that they're attempting to be helpful, but it's like helping at arm's length. It's never coming in direct contact with suffering. So often they would put us up in motels and give us money to eat in restaurants. We wanted to sleep on the floor of the church and simply have some simple food.

[28:19]

It's like I can feed seven people three meals for $23.10. So by putting us in a motel, at that time there were four of us, and sending us to a restaurant, often they spent in excess of $200. What a waste. It's just wasteful. Simply because they didn't want us in their, really want us in their presence. The same with, but they do this with all of the people in the area that they're attempting to help. They don't want us. They don't want to get too close to suffering. Because of course, when we come in contact with suffering, external suffering, What is it that we really have to touch? What is it that we really have to deal with? What rises here in us? As a soldier from the Vietnam War I have been excommunicated from my own society and culture. I have been spit on. I have been rejected jobs. I have been unable to live a regular life.

[29:20]

And I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that I've been marginalized because I'm not so... The seductions of a consumer society weren't available to me. But I was rejected because my presence... People attempt to wash their hands of me to keep their conscience clean. The non-veteran is more responsible for war than the veteran. This practice is about looking deeply. What I understand and what I've read and studied and been taught is that the practice of Buddhism is the practice of self, waking up deeply and intensely to the nature of self. I'm very grateful and thankful to this practice, to all it's given me, all the opportunities it's presented me.

[30:33]

I'm thankful to the teachers I had along the way. Thich Nhat Hanh, [...] Thich Nhat Han You all become my teachers because I really have to think about what it is that I'm talking about. And not think in the sense of an intellectual way, but really to embrace and talk about those things which I don't want to talk about. I would like to end here. I'd like to express my gratitude to this community, to Alan and this community for hosting us. and we'll be here until Friday. I'd like to invite any of you who would like to continue to talk with us to please come and do that.

[31:38]

I would like to express my deepest and sincere gratitude to Chödrön Roshi because without his presence and the presence of his teacher, this community wouldn't be here. There wouldn't be a place for us to stay. So what I'll do is stop here and open for questions. A short period of time for questions and then we'll end, but of course questions can take place at any point in time. So is there anyone here who has any questions? Please. I have two questions. Your name please? My name is Maylis. Ah, Maylis. Hi. Hi. The first question is, how did you present Well, the second part of your question I think I already commented, I already talked about that.

[32:56]

When I said, if we are living intensely in the present moment, all things are here. Not just virtues, but virtues are also here. All things, all things are here in this moment. The entire universe exists right here, right now. The entire universe and waking up to that is hopefully the reason for us involving ourselves in this path. How did we present ourselves? Bipka. Bipka did most of it. How did we present ourselves? Usually we knock on the door and introduce ourselves with telling them that we are an arms prayer pilgrimage, that we are Zen Buddhists and the Zen Buddhist monk is leading this walk and that we just look for a simple place to stay and some simple food to eat. And yeah, this is our question, if they are willing to support us with one night and just to leave space for their reactions and to go on from there.

[34:01]

They are more interested in talking about our practice. Some just were willing to take us in at once and some just closed at once. was really to be with these people that are arriving at the door. Question? Please. Your name? Karen. Thank you, Karen. Are you printing some message that was like a... I thought at first it was some kind of like a peace walk, a dialogue with people about particular... walking just to walk. In fact, we dialogue with people if they're interested. But you see, we are born and raised in Western culture which is dominated by Christian theology. Christian theology is also dominated by the custom of mission work and proselytizing.

[35:05]

Everyone wants to convert everybody to everyone else's sect. So that's somehow in our genetic makeup. this notion of missionizing and proselytizing. In Buddhism, from all of my experience with Buddhism, which is neither large nor small, it is what it is, I've never experienced that. I hear that there are certain sects that do that to some extent, but so what I often tell people is that we're just doing this because this is our practice. And that if in fact, really this practice that we do, we offer it to you, not that you become Buddhist, but these are tools that can help you go more deeply into your own faith, whatever your faith may be. Because you know my hand has five appendages, they all are different and they all have different functions but they all serve my hand which serves my body.

[36:11]

The interconnectedness of all things, basic to Buddhist teaching, but also basic to Christian teaching. Because if we're familiar with the Bible, we know that Jesus talked about the same thing. And Jesus was alleged to have used the same analogy because like the Buddha, Jesus didn't write down anything either and there weren't any tape recorders. So everything got written down after the fact by people. The same with Buddhist teaching. So when I hear someone say, well, Dogen says, I never heard Dogen say anything. I've read that Dogen is attributed to have said. For me, it's also about really paying attention to this. We've been covered a lot by the media. Well, not a lot. I mean, a lot's a relative term. For us, it's been a lot. When we go to a town, the newspapers might be interested, and photographers will come out to take photographs.

[37:16]

And invariably, the photographer will come out and say, you know, I'd like to get a shot of you over here. And I go, wait a minute. No shooting. I've been shot at enough in my life. It's about paying attention. Because, of course, how we use language is really how we communicate. It's an expression of who we are. And it's like we just take these things for granted. We are not really living in the moment. We're just going through the motions. You photograph with a camera. You shoot with a gun. And it's being sensitive to that. And this is how… I mean, if we just embrace this practice, if I embrace this practice, if this practice is my life, then of course I'm not practicing, I'm living the teaching and that itself is communicated and that itself is what this group embodied or became to embody because some were not familiar with the teaching or the practice, none of them had been on pilgrimage before, real pilgrimage before except me.

[38:19]

So this was a growing and learning experience for the group but in fact when we arrived in a place the energy was clear and obvious. And we talked with people about whatever they wanted to talk about. We answered their questions, if they had them, as best we could. But often it was just about what we did and how we were. St. Francis, Kansas. We arrived and the pastor of the church who had agreed to host us wasn't there, nor was his wife or family. The secretary was there, she met us, she had two children. And she came by and asked us to go for a picnic. So we said, okay. So we walked down to this stream and this little tiny stream and she had a young daughter and she was divorced and her parents were without, her children were without two parents and they were struggling a little bit and the young daughter was just, oh God, she was just wonderful. She was so full of life and energy and she wanted to play. So we just played with her. And then we jumped and we played and at one point I said, okay, if you really want to do this, now you have to stand up in the water and just

[39:24]

fall back and get really wet." So she did that and then she looked up at me and she said, you know, you're going to tell me to do it, you've got to do it. So, you know, I took off my robes and I went over and I just fell back into the water. That's how we carry the teaching. It can get more dialectical. in some instances it did. It can get more doctrinal in some instances it did, but it's really not so much about what we say but how we are. Last question, please. Last two questions, please. Your name please? Your name? Moffat. Moffat, thank you. How I find a place of commonality.

[40:27]

What I said to him was, I said, how old are you? He quoted an age and I said, ah, did you serve in the military? He said, yeah. I said, did you serve during the Korean War? He said, in fact, I did. I said, you know, I served as a soldier in the Vietnam War. He went, oh. His whole demeanor changed. He said, oh. He said, you know, yeah, I fought so that you could do what you're doing in this country. And I said, you know what? I represent the same thing so you could do what you're doing. I said, isn't this wonderful? And in fact, even though he called me the Antichrist and was completely close to us, he brought us some food to eat. So it's finding that place. That's what we attempt to do in the process. I mean to me that's engaged Buddhism and it's really just engaged. You can even take the Buddhism out because it's just about being engaged.

[41:34]

So it's the first time in my life my military service ever really served me in some sort of positive way. Well it's not entirely true but it's one of the few times. In fact a number of the pastors from the Christian churches I discovered had served in the military. I would like to say it just a little differently in that I don't bring the Dharma. I'm merely a vessel for the Dharma. And that I want to go more deeply and deeply into this practice so that I can become a more clear and clearer vessel of that Dharma. And in fact, they each have their own heart. Although our hearts are interconnected through this walk, they are each, in every one of them, very wonderful and powerful individuals.

[42:41]

And without them, I couldn't have done this. Or let's say, without them I wouldn't have done it in this way. I don't know that I couldn't have done it. I'm quite sure that I could have. I could have walked across here by myself but it would have been a very different experience. Very different. How do we end this now?

[42:59]

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