Let me first condense what I mentioned last night to brief remarks. The point is that at any cost, we have to settle on ourselves. Whoever you are, whatever happens around us, it means to return to the original home. In other words, we have to make every effort to let the flower of your life that was blue

[01:10]

to return to the lake of our life force. This is Tordatsu. At the stage of present, whoever you are, whatever happens around you, the important point is to return to your life force, to let the flower of your life force bloom with all heartedness.

[02:13]

The best method of letting the flower of your life force bloom is the figure of the Zen. The figure of the Zen is throwing overboard the cherished self known as Katagiri, known as Peter, known as Cyrus, such and such. As Dogen Zen says, throw away everything, even the good and bad, right and wrong. At that time, this is Tordatsu. Tord means to clarify, to make pure.

[03:16]

Datsu is to be free from, to be free. This is Tordatsu. Then it is at the moment of letting the flower of your life force, It is at the moment of letting the flower of your life force bloom. When you settle on the self in the practice of the Zen, throwing overboard the cherished self known as yourself.

[04:24]

Then Dogen Zen says, it is Genjo. Genjo means to let the flower of your life force bloom. This is Genjo. At the stage of present, the life of the flower of your life force is blooming. This is Genjo. Then at that time, you can experience something. As mentioned before, as the exclamatory self, something ouch, like this. Before the ouch passes through your brain or thought, head. Genjo is the direct experience through the exclamatory self.

[05:44]

In other words, how, ouch, like this. The experience, direct experience is to have relation, to have relation with external object which exists, which exists around you. So in terms of the experience of Todatsu, the complete manifestation, the complete imperability, the complete purification and purity of your mind and body. When the flower of your life force is blooming,

[06:47]

and at the same time you can experience, you can experience something through your life force. This life force, having, connecting, having relation with external objects. This is Genjo. So Genjo is the world. Genjo is the world integrated by the experience, direct experience of your life force and of the external object. This is Genjo. Then, the Dogen Zen says, this experience is called Kikan in Japanese.

[07:59]

Kikan literally meaning is the agency, agency. You say something like, administrative agencies, something like that. Dogen Zen uses the word agency. Agency, agency. The agency is the integrated world, unit, universe, in other words, universe. The big world integrated by the direct experience of your life force and external object. This is Kikan.

[09:00]

Kikan means your experience itself, your experience itself. So how can the human being experience in this world? More. Dogen explains about this agency, our experience. The experience makes you, this experience is direct experience. This direct experience through your life force, something like Ouch. Ouch. Ouch has no amount of discrimination. Just Ouch, just Ouch.

[10:03]

This direct experience makes you alive and makes you die, makes you die. So from this point, you say, if you are at the deadlock, then you think, I want to die. But you are scared, you fear the event of the death in front of you. So you can't, you can't, you can't put it into the practice. Then you are always suffering from your troubles. Then your daily life has left you in bewilderment.

[11:13]

You are always scared of death. Then you ask some Zen master, how should I do? Please help me. So as not to save from, save myself, save yourself from the fear of the death. Perhaps Zen master says, may say, may say, Ah. Ah. You make, you don't make any difference, any difference.

[12:21]

Whether you fear, you scare the death, you scare the death or not. Because when you, when you die, you have to carry your old things, old things you have. Even your life force, even your thought, even your head, you have to carry all you have. So when you die, when you die, when you are about to die, all you have to do is to settle on yourself to die, that's all. In the practice of death. Ah.

[13:28]

I think this is, you know, human being exist in that way. I and all of you exist in that way. A fear or not no fear of the death is created in your intact senses. In your, on your head. But before your head is exhausted, exercised, life force is alive vividly already. This in the domain of this life force, it makes you, it makes you alive, it makes you die.

[14:41]

It makes you suffer, it makes you pleasure. Then Dogenzen says, there is at just this moment that death experience manifests itself. Therein avail no amount of conception, large or small, conception to measure, large or small, omnipresent or limited, long or short, far and far, far and near. I think this is real truth, real truth. Ah. You know, life force is something like the water coming after the depth of the earth.

[15:47]

Even though you find, you find the fountain head of the river, nobody knows the existence of water coming from gradually, depth of water, depth of the earth. Your life force is something like that. Regardless the idea whether you understand yourself or not, your life force is always coming out gradually, one by one, the depths of the earth. How do you accept this? Dogenzen makes you understand this real fact. Dogenzen doesn't make you, Dogenzen doesn't make you understand the fountain head of the river. Through the scientific way of understanding you can find, you can understand the fountain head of the river.

[17:00]

It is not necessary to practice Dogenzen in order to seek for the fountain head of the river. Why you have to practice Dogenzen? The purpose of Dogenzen is to make you understand, get taste of the life force coming from gradually, one by one, day after day without ceasing. The depth from the depth of the earth. This is life force. In the domain of this life force, we do anything, we do everything. I practice Dogenzen, we are thinking of something, many things. The moment when you confirm something, the moment when you say ouch, your thought immediately starts to be exercised.

[18:19]

In other words, your head brings the event of saying ouch to the function, agency of your head. And then you say, oh this is ouch, I feel pain. You can't explain ouch in a word. But before you can express ouch in a word, the ouch exists already. Then you experience directly from the ouch, before it is, it advances in thought.

[19:23]

This is life force. So in this life, in the domain of this life force, there is no amount of conception to measure. Long or short, far and near, omnipresent or limited, or enlightenment or ordinary, ordinary person, illusion and enlightenment, nothing, completely nothing more. I think you can, you have found, you have found such experience. You practice Zazen, I don't know how many years you practice Zazen.

[20:30]

Some of you maybe experience something like enlightenment. Then I ask you, did you experience enlightenment, did you attain enlightenment? Can you immediately answer to this question, yes. If you take the answer, yes, I ask again, are you sure? You can't immediately answer, take answer yes, again? Even though you say yes, in your heart, something funny, there exists something funny. Asking yourself whether I attain enlightenment or not.

[21:35]

Your head is, your head makes you hesitate always, you know. But enlightenment, enlightenment itself makes you attain enlightenment exactly, this is true, this is real truth. But this enlightenment has no amount of conception to measure, long or short, delusion or enlightenment. You know the, if you hit the drum, I think that the moment you hit the drum, the drum works.

[22:45]

And you work, at the same time some sound goes, boom. But all you have to do is to experience just the boom sound, you know. Then I ask you, which of two makes sound, the drum or you? You can't answer to this question exactly. The existence of drum or the existence of your life force is going on. In the domain of no amount of conception to measure, long or short, Buddha or original person, far or near.

[23:49]

You practice daily, practice zazen, you know, you think your zazen has made progress pretty good, you know. So you are really happy to experience in that way. So you push yourself, you spur yourself to practice zazen more and more. Because your head is thinking always, enlightenment is just in front of me, little more. Enlightenment is very close to me, just little bit more. You know, in Rinzai practice, the master always hit your hip, hit. Practice hard, what are you doing, you know, for giving abroad, you know.

[25:00]

Get enlightenment right now, attain enlightenment right now. Your zazen is not real zazen, what are you doing? Don't sleep, always zen master push you, you know. And you have to, you cannot help rushing into, you know, seeking for the enlightenment. Always, you know, you are always looking at the enlightenment. Hanging, hanging in the mid-air, hanging in the mid-air. But strictly speaking, in the domain of the life force, there is no amount of conception to measure. Long or short, small or big.

[26:02]

Or omnipresent or limitative or far and near. A completely life force exists, my force and the life force, that's all, nothing more. Then all you have to do is, your life force settle on your life force. In the domain of the world, no amount of conception to measure. Long or short, big or small, large and small, or far and near. This is Shikantaza, just do it. It looks like the top is spinning. The life force of the top is just to spin, that's all, nothing more.

[27:13]

But, in the domain of the life force of the top, the spinning top, we can distinguish this is top or not. Between top, we can recognize this is top. But this top is something going through your head. In other words, you have all day preconception as the top. So this is, then you say this is top. For real, the life force of the top is to spin, nothing more, that's all, this is life force of the top. Then, in the domain of the life force of the top, there are many kind of aspects of top's life.

[28:29]

Endama means to get rid of the stubbornness, the stubbornness of the ego. Then, what Shakyamuni Buddha says, you must take refuge in the self. The self is the self, who you are, who is, eliminated, whose ego. To take refuge in the self is the self, whose stubbornness of the ego is eliminated.

[29:36]

It means to, stubbornness of the ego is eliminated, is to take refuge in the Dharma. So, without fail, Shakyamuni Buddha says, you must take refuge in the Dharma. After the statement, you must take refuge in the self. So, this, to take refuge in the self, in the Dharma is no-self, no-self, no-self. As we see these different groups of people, some calling themselves communists, or Christians, or Buddhists, in the same way that they did in Shakyamuni's time, Brahmin, or some group, he set out alone to find his true self.

[30:49]

Why should we be ordained? Ordained must be given to the person who experiences self-realization, self-realization of the Dharma, of the Dharma. It means to be aware, through the Buddhism, through any other kind of principles, of religions, through the religions, we must be aware of the true self. This is very important. This is an important point, what religion puts stress on.

[31:50]

Otherwise, it is not true religion. Then, you know, the true religion, to realize, to realize the true self, the self, to realize the self, based on the no-self. In other words, as Shakyamuni Buddha says, to take refuge in the Dharma. It means to have a close relationship with not only the self, not only one, but also the others, all sentient beings, all sentient beings. To have relation with all sentient beings doesn't mean to ignore yourself, ignore the existence of the self.

[33:04]

The self is, the true self exists absolutely, completely alone, regardless of any kind of principles. It doesn't mean to ignore the relation with others, or with groups. It means you have to be aware of what the self is, what the self is, among the group, who exists among the groups, among the principles, among the many principles of religions, or communism, or something like that. Who am I? This self-realization, self-realization is self-realization, the ordain is the self-realization concerning with Dharma, concerning with the self.

[34:13]

This is ordain, this is ordain. So ordain doesn't mean to stick to the stubbornness of ego, stubbornness of ego based on Buddhism or a certain group. And then, nevertheless, this ordain is, the self who accepts the ordain is completely free, completely open for everybody, everybody. To take refuge in the Dharma is to be open, to be open entirely, not only to the self, but also all sentient beings. This is to take refuge in the Dharma. Then to take refuge in the self. If Buddha Shakyamuni says only you should take refuge in the self, I think he left lots of troubles for us, behind us.

[35:29]

Because what is this self? This self is based on the stubbornness of ego, or this self is a certain type of ego in terms of Buddhism or Christianity or some group. It doesn't mean that. Then Shakyamuni Buddha says this self must have relation with all sentient beings. That's why he said take refuge in the Dharma. To take refuge in the Dharma is no self. We sit facing that wall. We sit facing a wall. How can we take refuge in all things when we are just the wall? We practice facing a little wall.

[36:34]

Can't feel all things while you do that. This self is just encased in some skin from ear to ear, sitting facing a wall. At least during sitting meditation it's not necessary to feel the existence of wall or all sentient beings. That's why it doesn't make you return to the original home. That's all. Regardless of the idea whether your life has relation with wall or not only wall or all sentient beings. That's some delusions. That's a delusion which is showing on the stage of your brain. You feel something, it makes your mind pensive.

[37:41]

That's alright. Don't worry about it. The important point is to return to the right forces. Just do it. Just to be spinning or spinning. In the domain of the self. In the domain of the life force itself. This is the Zen. If you explain in a word. Buddhism says the truth is emptiness. Truth is nyara or something else, Buddha, Buddha nature. During sitting meditation it doesn't matter. Whatever you can, you can explain as Buddha nature, as sunyata, as oneness in practice and enlightenment.

[38:47]

It doesn't matter. Just do it. Just do it is to be spinning fully. In the domain of the life force itself. That's enough. Why is it you have to face to the wall? But unfortunately as long as human beings exist alive, your brain is always acting to the object. So as not to act into the object too much. Why do we have to listen to Buddha tell us about dharma and self? And why do we have to listen to Buddha tell us about dharma and self? If all we have to do is spin. But...

[39:52]

Yes. Actually, strictly speaking, we always spin. But, you know, the self has both sides, two aspects. Two aspects. You know, I am spinning. Such a self is something like exclamatory self. That is. When you spin fully, completely, you cannot understand. You cannot understand when you are spinning completely. But you say, I am spinning. I am fully spinning always. Why is it, why is it we cannot attain enlightenment, we cannot attain some merits through the zazen, something like that.

[40:59]

You know, it means that your exclamatory life, self, goes through your brain. And then you say, I am spinning. I am spinning. That's a problem, you know. That's a question. So, the real spinning, real spinning is the state of your life. Before. Before the exclamatory self goes through your brain. Before. That's why the zazen, in Afghan zazengi, you should zazen. You should zazen without making effort to try to become Buddha.

[42:05]

Or to try to consider the good and bad, right or wrong. Right or wrong. Zazen. Zazen. Shikantaza is the full function of self-manifestation. Like genjo. Without using words. I am spinning or I am not spinning. Or my zazen is good or my zazen is not good. Because of this idea. Zazen is a full function of self-manifestation. This is genjo.

[43:08]

Ok? Of course, ok. I want to ask one more question. If we don't achieve the state of not knowing that we're spinning, we have to know we're spinning. If you have to perceive that you're spinning, objective reality, is it still Buddhist practice? You mean, if you have... I'm sitting here and I say to myself, I am spinning. Now I'm not spinning so much. Very objective view, reality. Is that still Buddhist practice? Yeah. It looks like Buddhist. I don't know about that. It looks like Buddhist. Long years. Then, of course, it is alright. In terms of the full manifestation of self-realization,

[44:16]

full function of self-manifestation, in terms of full function of self-manifestation, there may be many kinds of aspects of life. I am spinning. Or I am not spinning. So that's why you have to make effort. Your effort pushes you to jump into your zazen. Real zazen. So this is a kind of zazen. So you can see many kinds of life on the stage, on your brain. But usually, we think, we think always that is, that is all that we have to, we have to, you know, take care of.

[45:22]

Take care of the many things which are shown, shown on the stage, on the brain. So you should, we are always chasing after, you know, the bad zazen, you know, or good zazen. Like chasing after your tails, you know. Good zazen or bad zazen. Then your life is all that you have to do in that way. That's a problem. That's troubles. But in terms of the full function of self-manifestation, you know, many kinds of aspects of life, zazen, sleeping zazen, or the good zazen, or spinning, full spinning zazen.

[46:24]

Everything alright. You can perceive. You can perceive. All things. Can it perceive itself? No. No. No, it can't. But it perceives itself. It's not spinning fully. Before you perceive it, you know, full, full spinning is, exists already, has existed already. That's a full spinning. That's why Dogen Zen says, don't think, don't think of even the idea of good and bad, wrong or right, right or wrong. Spinning, full spinning, or now full spinning. Before you perceive it, you know, past perceiving it.

[47:36]

So when you have no understanding of it, is that also full spinning? Oh, yeah. Actually, actually, you can't understand fully what it is. But there is something, some place, some place where you can understand. You know, where you can understand. Where the full spinning and not full spinning cross, like this. The full spinning, the real full spinning and your idea. Your idea, whether you think or you think it is spinning or not, you know. The cross. In other words, a bird, a bird flying in the air.

[48:39]

Then bird looking for the sun phase to take a rest. You know. Then the bird going down on the surface of the water, surface of water, lake, you know. I think, you know, the just moment, just moment when the bird and the surface of water close, you know, touch, get in touch with each other. This, this, you know, moment, this place,

[49:41]

is, this place is something beyond our thought or our idea, our brain, our head. If you try to explain this, the intersections, intersection, the bird and the surface of water, just, what would you say, you know. At least, you know, entirely at the moment, at the moment, that bird and the surface of water get in touch with each other. Then the bird himself try to make every effort to, to be on the surface of water. With safety, you know, with considerate attention.

[50:48]

The water, the surface of water itself, try to make accept, try to make, make effort to accept existence of bird with considerate attention. This is, this, this is intersection. Intersection where a human being, a bird, can take rest, can rest in peace. Or the surface, where the surface of water can accept, perceive, you know, anything, anything, everything, with safety, in peace, in peace, with considerate attention. This is our life itself. So, even though you cannot understand, even though you cannot understand,

[51:52]

we have to make effort to, to be on the surface of water carefully, carefully, with considerate attention, in order to rest in peace, concern, having relation with surface of water. So, in other words, even though you cannot understand, effort, we need some effort, we need practice. Because we are always standing on, just the intersections. Whether, whether you go, in what, in which direction you may go, is up to you, you know. Because each person, each individual stands on the intersection,

[52:55]

at that, in the world of that, that. You can go, you can go everywhere. But important point, in which direction you must go, this is important. That's why I said, the emancipation, emancipation is direction of human being, human life. In other words, the advance, in which direction we must advance, we must advance, from the intersection, from the intersection. Dualism, dualism or non-dualism. Yes sir? We are always intersections. Why do we have to go from there? Why do we have to go from there?

[53:56]

Because you have to, you have, you cannot exist alone. If you can, if you can, if you, if you could remain, remain being, only intersections. And you feel loneliness. You have to, at any cost, to make advance, to make advance, to take for ahead. Because even the intersection, even the world of that is going on, change. There is no substance which is called intersections. Is there a path? Is there a path? Buddha talks about, you talk about direction, and Buddha talks about a path, name called path.

[55:00]

Oh, path, path. Is there a path? Uh... Hmm... Yes, direction is more concrete, concrete expression than the path, than the path. Path is road. In other words, how the way of, way of practice. You should go, you should go this road. You should go straightly this road. This is path. But direction is right now, how to face this way or this way. Even though all human beings go straightly this road, but in the domain of this road, the widest, widest of the road,

[56:04]

you know, human beings are able to go zigzag like this. So, which direction? Direction is very concrete, because you must make, you must take care of it carefully, on the stage of now and here. This is direction. There is no end direction. Hmm? There is no end direction, like there is an end to a path. In the domain of the direction of human life is, doesn't, has, has no, no idea of end of beginnings. Moment after moment, direction is new life, new life. Direction make human life, make you a human, new life. New life. Through the direction of life. This is human advance.

[57:10]

Huh? Nirvana? And path and nirvana? Ah, that's why I mentioned before, you know, the human being is always zigzag, you know. Going zigzag. Even though Buddha Shakyamuni said, direction is important, eightfold path is very important. You should follow this. Nobody follow that. Everybody go zigzag. I don't like that. Jesus Christ says always, please follow me. But, oh, I don't like that. I, I believe Buddhism. I, I am believe for them Jewish. I don't like that. That's why up to now,

[58:13]

Shakyamuni Buddha master teaches us what the path is, what the nirvana is.

[58:21]

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