to introduce Sojin Roshi, my teacher for these many years, a wonderful occasion. And Sojin was one of Suzuki Roshi's senior Dharma heirs and a founder of the Berkeley Zen Do in 1969? 67. 67, when it began. not so many people coming, and Suzuki Roshi coming every Monday to give the Dharma talk every Monday morning. And Soju went on to, he was always abbot of Berkeley Zen Center, which grew and bought another larger place. He was also co-abbot, he was also abbot of San Francisco Zen Center, led innumerable practice at Tassajara, and has been a very senior, major, strong presence in the Soto Zen establishment.

[01:11]

Probably thousands of students have been taught by him. And he is also, not only have many people begun and continued their practice, it would be fair to say that most of the senior teachers now at Zen Center have either begun with Soto or studied with him in some way. And his influence is extensive. He's been a major figure in relating the Japanese Soto Shu to I'm afraid I don't remember the name of the organization. I didn't either. The Soto Zen Education Center.

[02:20]

Soto Zen Education Center. And he is co-translator, co-editor. Thank you for that introduction. I thought I was just practicing. I didn't know I was doing the whole thing. Well, anyway, it's very nice to be here, and I see some old friends. Ken Berman, who started practicing with me when he was 18 years old. He's now 50. How old are you? 48. I still think of you as being 18. Is that John?

[03:21]

Hi, John. Well, I came here to open the eyes of the Buddha and dedicate to Zendo. of the New Zindo, Meili's New Zindo, your New Zindo. So that will follow upon this, and it's a wonderful occasion. I remember when I used to come to Humboldt County in the 60s, and there were people scattered around who were practicing, but it was a No one could ever get together. People were practicing in their trailers or in their little houses in the woods. But it was a community of anarchists. Everyone independent. And the thought of doing something together in a sustained way was anathema to those people.

[04:30]

And so my impression was that up the northerners, the Humboldt County northerners, it would take some extraordinary person to actually be a focal point for the practice, for people to come together. And Maile is the first person that I know of who has been able to actually be that focal point and organize a practice and people actually be willing to be part of a sangha. The non-joiners actually joining together to do something organize a practice and keep it going together.

[05:34]

So to me this is a minor miracle and I really want to support it as much as possible. You know we have the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha, the three treasures. Some people are interested in the Buddha. Some people are interested in just a relationship with maybe a strong teacher. And they're not so interested in the Dharma. They're not so interested in studying or learning about the Dharma or the Sangha. They don't care about that so much. They really just care about a relationship with a teacher. Some people are only interested in the Dharma. They're interested in studying, they're interested in learning about Buddhism, but they don't so much care about who the teacher is, or they're not so interested in the Sangha.

[06:39]

There's some people who are just interested in the Sangha. They don't care about, the teacher's okay to be there, and it's okay to have study, but what they're interested in is the social life. So they become members, in order to have a kind of social life. But a well-rounded student is someone who is interested, who has a relationship with a teacher, studies the Dharma, and really interested in what Buddhism is about, and feels an important part of the Sangha. Sangha is like the foundation for the practice. So I think that there have been many people interested in Buddha, many people interested in Dharma, but not so many people interested in Sangha.

[07:47]

But Sangha is the support for making it all happen. And it's more than just a social life. our combined effort to maintain the practice and to support each other. So mutual support is maybe the most, I don't want to say the most important thing. Whatever we talk about is the most important thing. So if I say Sangha is the most important thing, it doesn't mean that Buddha is not the most important thing or that Dharma is not the most important thing. But Saga is really the most important thing. And I think for, especially for a community where the people don't live close together, it's easy to become isolated. So to have this connection with the members, and it's only the members that can support

[08:58]

together support a practice that's ongoing. So I think it's very precious, very precious thing to actually have a practice that's supported by the members and is ongoing. There are several styles of practice, many styles of practice, but I want to talk about two aspects of these styles. One is the style of the sprinter, and the other is the style of the long-distance runner. The sprinter does the 100-yard dash as fast as he can. The sprinter paces himself over a long distance. So the sprinter is like the one who's seeking some big experience, some big opening experience.

[10:05]

And so puts all their energy into doing something quickly or energetically in order to have some big experience, some Kensho or opening. The long distance runner, knows that practice is something for your whole life, not just to get some experience. We should have opening experience every moment. When you finally have an enlightened experience, you'll realize that you've been wasting a lot of time trying to have an opening experience because you're sacrificing this moment for some moment in the future. We should be very careful not to sacrifice this moment, this time, for some other time.

[11:07]

That other time may not arrive. The practice of the long-distance runner is to appreciate each moment, not wait for some moment that you can appreciate, You may think that if you read a lot of Zen literature, we have this stereotyped idea from reading literature that someday you'll have this big enlightenment experience, which may be true. We say that enlightenment is the beginning of practice, not the end. The reason why you practice is because of your enlightened mind.

[12:19]

Enlightenment brings us to practice. Enlightenment encourages us to practice in the dark. We all practice in the dark. In other words, we kind of feel our way along. Stumbling along. Stumbling along is a wonderful, enlightened practice. Stumbling along in the dark is a wonderful, enlightened practice. But we don't necessarily have a realization of what we're doing. So it takes a lot of faith, actually, to practice in the dark. stumbling along, feeling our way, without knowing what the end is, or we know what the direction is, even though we're not sure where the ruts in the road are. When we finally do have an enlightened experience, or some

[13:33]

realization of our enlightenment, then we really appreciate each moment's activity. We appreciate the bad things, appreciate the good things. We appreciate our boredom. We really appreciate the fact that just being able to breathe is enough. Then everything else is just candy. So our practice is not just to get something.

[14:41]

If you practice in a manner just to get something, that's materialistic practice. What Trungpa used to call spiritual materialism, practicing in order to get some, experience. So supposing you have some big enlightened experience, then what? Then life just becomes ordinary. So you might as well just appreciate the ordinariness of life to begin with. So enlightenment brings us to practice.

[15:46]

And then a lifetime of practice matures our enlightenment. That's why it's so important to continuously practice. Not trying to get something, but just being, appreciating each moment. but truly appreciating each moment's activity with gratitude and without wanting too much. Too easy, very easy for us to want too much, and there's so much that's offered to want. if we can just be careful about not wanting too much and practicing in a very steady way, we can have some realization of our enlightened mind.

[16:58]

Enlightenment is not something to get, but something to reveal. You know, we say it's Like walking in the fog. When you walk in the fog, walking in the fog, your clothes get wet unawares. Not like walking in the rain, where you know that you're getting wet, but you reach down and feel your clothes and you think, oh, my clothes are wet. So practice over a long period of time means that at some point your maturity reveals itself. And you realize that that's been happening for a while, but you didn't know when it happened.

[18:00]

So what I always suggest to people, people say, well, how should I practice? What should I do? And I say, you should, if you really want to practice, you should decide, you should harmonize your sitting practice with your life. So, but you should decide when you're going to sit sadhana. and put that on your calendar. You may say, well, I'll sit Zazen twice a week for a period of time. I always say, make a period of time, not just open-ended, because your life changes. So if you say, for this month, I'll sit Tuesday and Thursday, then you put Tuesday and Thursday on your calendar, and then when that time comes, Oh, zazen.

[19:19]

You don't do something else. You do zazen. Otherwise, our lives are so busy that if we just arbitrarily sit, other things will sweep away our intention or take over our intention. So in order to really have a practice Practice has to be intentional. And intentional in a way that we have to have, we have to put it on our calendar. And then it becomes a part of your life. So when Zazen is integral with your life and balanced with all of your other commitments and responsibilities, then you have a practice.

[20:22]

And you can sustain that over a long period of time. And then when that month is over, you say, well, was that, did that work? Okay, so you continue, or you add something, or it didn't work, you change it. So you're always monitoring what your practice is. And that way you have an intentional practice. So there are different styles of practice. But for lay people, you know, who lead busy lives, you need some structure in order to make it work. So the structure is, without the structure it doesn't work for very long.

[21:38]

It's just another thing that you do and then pretty soon something else comes along and washes it away. So I really advise you to structure your practice so that it's not dependent on your moods. See, practice is not dependent on mood. It's not dependent on whether you like it or don't like it, or having it feel good or don't feel good. You know what I mean? I feel good today, so I'll sit zazen. Or I feel terrible today, so I better go sit zazen. It shouldn't depend on your feelings. It has to be beyond your feelings. It has to be driven by your intention. Because feelings come and go and are not stable and are untrustworthy. Intention is what's trustworthy. I don't want to say vow. That's a little strong. But if you want to think of it that way, it's good.

[22:41]

But intention, your strong intention, necessary, otherwise you can't sustain a practice. So when the time comes to sit zazen, you may feel, I don't want to sit zazen today, but your intention was to do it. So you follow your intention rather than your momentary feeling. That way you build a strong practice and then you feel better. When you follow your intentions, you really feel good. That's enlightened practice. So we don't have to wait for an enlightenment experience to have enlightened practice. Practice itself, when done,

[23:46]

with that attitude is enlightened practice. So it's good to study the old masters, but I think it's also important to set them aside as well. Because if you only compare yourself to the old masters, you'll think, oh, you know, this is impossible for me, you know. And then you get very discouraged. So we should study the old masters' words and be inspired by them. At the same time, we should set them aside and realize our life is right here. 19, I mean, 2000. And this is, you know, our circumstance and we have to act within our own societal norms and given all of the problems that we have.

[25:05]

So, there's much to say but That's as much as I can say at the moment. Do you have any questions? Please feel free to ask a question. Yeah? Do you feel it's important to practice every day? Well, you know, if you can practice every day, if you have the time to practice every day, I'd say yes. Absolutely. That would be really great. If you could get up in the morning and practice, it means you have to go to bed early. It's a trade-off. You can't do everything. If you get up in the morning to practice, then you have to go to bed early.

[26:05]

So that may mean some adjustment in your life, but then you can sit in the afternoon, right? You don't have to get up or you don't have to go to bed so early if you sit in the afternoon. But if you sit every day, that's no problem. Yes? I am trying to make the rest of my life more intentional. And a week or so ago I was supposed to make a trip And my emotions and my physical health got bad. And I thought, I can't possibly have that treatment. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. And I lay in bed, stirring with it. And then I had to think of some of the things I'm learning to proceed. And I thought, well, I should make this decision now. I'll see about tomorrow, and what

[27:10]

And tomorrow came, and I felt much better. But now I think maybe saying to myself at night, I'll put the decision off until tomorrow, was not living up to my intention to make the trip in the first place. Yeah, but you see, that doesn't take into account your feeling sick, right? So, you have to take that into account as well. There are many factors. So, the difference is, today I don't feel like going, but tomorrow I'll see how I feel. So, I'll make the decision tomorrow. That's good, because you acknowledged your feelings today without making the decision based on today's feelings. Right? So you wait till you know how you really feel.

[28:18]

I think that was very good. Not wrong, because even though you made the decision, I mean, if I get, you know, sick, then I can't do something, right? But you have to know when to be able to say something. When to be able to... It's like when you're sitting and you have a lot of pain in your legs. You say, well, should I sit through this or should I uncross my legs? The intention is to sit without uncrossing your legs. That's your intention. But sometimes you may have to uncross your legs. So when you do that, you don't say anything. You just do it. You don't say, oh, I'm bad, or this is wrong, or I sit. You just do it. That's all. So it's not a matter of blame. or, you know, there's the ideal and the actual.

[29:22]

So in the ideal, we want everything to be perfectly, to match our intentions perfectly. But in reality, we can't always do that. So we have to weigh, you know, we have the ideal, We actually live in the actual, which includes our weaknesses. And we have to acknowledge, you know. So we do the best we can. We're always doing the best we can, which may not be what we consider the perfect way. It's very important. Otherwise, we get very discouraged. We say, oh, I can't do this. And then we, you know, it's too much for me. We fall off, and then we get back on. We fall off, we get back on. This is the life of practice, falling off and getting back on. This is what our life is about. So when you fall off, you just get back on.

[30:26]

That's all. And it's like the wandering mind in zazen. The intention is to sit and keep your attention focused, but your mind wanders. And then you bring it back. And then your mind wanders. And you bring it back thousands of times. But you don't say, oh, there goes my mind. I'm such a bad person because my mind wandered. This is what people do. They've been practicing 20 years. And they say, I just can't keep my mind focused, you know. What do I do? You just let the mind wander. And you bring it back. That's all. No judgments. No judgments. It's just the practice of recollection, the practice of bringing it back over and over again. Nothing to worry about. Worrying about it is the worst thing. That's the worst, from being concerned, too concerned about it.

[31:31]

You just do your practice and you do the best you can, which may not come up to your ideal. You can't judge Zazen as to whether it's good or bad. You may feel, oh, I did this period of Zazen and I was so bad, I could only keep my attention focused for one second, and the rest is just all garbage. Well, you can't say whether that was good or bad. That's just what happened. And you just keep making your effort, that's all. Otherwise, we get very discouraged and come down on ourself and get depressed and so forth. While the mind is going through all this stuff, the body is sitting exhausted.

[32:33]

No problem. No problem. but we identify with the mind. Actually, we have to let go of both body and mind and just let Zazen sit. Buddha sits Zazen. Do you have another question? If you don't have, you know, then you just do without. If you don't have, if you don't have it, then you just do without it. So, some people are isolated, you know, in the mountains or someplace, you know.

[33:58]

No saga, you know. So, you just do by yourself. This was where I lived before. I showed the poster to a friend of mine, you know, and she almost took the poster right away. Now she sits every morning, which I don't do, you know. Why? Sorry? Why don't you? Because we don't have, in the afternoon, you know, every morning at 5 o'clock, we don't have. But for her, what, you know, she calls me and she And sometimes I don't understand because she doesn't know anything about dharma. She hasn't got the sangha. She doesn't want to go to practice with a group. And the way she describes her practice, you know, is very much the way I feel about my practice today.

[35:06]

Hermit? No, the benefit, the joy, you know, the way she talks about how Zazen for a long time in my life, you know? And so... Well, so for you, what about you? For me? Oh, that's a problem. I was with them in France, you know? Toshimaru? One student of Toshimaru. And my teacher died a few years ago, and I'm still quite affected by that. But, you know, I try to follow this issue in the media. Yeah, good. I don't know who this person is that you're talking about, but I think that for you, should you follow this person's way or this person's way, follow this person's way.

[36:25]

Very good. Sangha, Dharma, Buddha, you know. Maybe I'll talk to you later, okay? Well, that's one way to study Dharma. Yeah. Well, the teacher should be speaking Dharma, right?

[37:28]

But it also means study. study the ancestors, you know, study the development of the dharma and the various philosophy of the dharma, philosophies and so forth. That's dharma, dharma study, important study. You know, in China, A lot of the teachers said, don't study dharma, just do zazen and listen to me. Which is okay, but the reason why is because people depended too much on study. So these teachers said, don't depend on study. But we really have to have the balance.

[38:31]

If you have Dharma, and if you have a teacher and the Sangha, then you're not just depending on study, right? You have Zazen and the teaching and the Sangha. So it's a balance. But when it gets overbalanced one way or another, then things get off. So it's really good to have all three so that you have this three legs of the pot, and it didn't fall over. Yeah? It seems to me that Zen is... Can you just figure what? It seems to me that Zen is an emphasis of form and understanding. In what? Form and understanding. I know, but for who? For people. It seems like they adopted the Japanese when they went to Japan. Uh-huh. They adopted the Japanese when they went to Japan. Uh-huh. I don't think Buddhism is like that.

[39:37]

It's very formal, rigid, very Japanese. I don't think that's Buddhism. Well, there are many ways that are Buddha. There are many different ways, many different styles of Buddhism. Formality, you know, people have trouble with formality because their big ego. Ego doesn't like formality. ego wants to expand itself. So formality is there for you to practice in a way that your ego is not included. So that's the advantage of formal practice. Also, you don't have to explain everything over and over again. People know what to do, and they just do it. And so it's not like people turning right and left and bumping into each other.

[40:44]

There's an orderly way of doing something. So you leave your ego out and enter into the form. And actually, the form, if you really understand, allow yourself to do that, it's an enlightened way of practice. Because the form, you know, we're always formal. Whatever we're doing, we're formal. It's just that you have one formality, and practice has another formality, But it's not like you're informal and the practice is formal. It's just a different kind of formality. And it seems strange. It comes from another country. But it's the way the practice has developed over hundreds and hundreds of years. So there are some forms in Japanese practice

[41:51]

which are excessive. And there's some which are kind of militaristic because, you know, the militaristic kind of got combined with the religious side, right? So when we look at the formality of Japanese practice, it's important to look at that. I myself, you know, like the formal practice. I don't like the militant side of the formal practice. So I kind of try to weed that out, you know. But also, in the Japanese formal practice, people do everything together. In Japan, that's the style of Japan. You know, Japanese tourists come and they're on the block, right? And they open the camera and say, That's very, very characteristic of Japan.

[42:53]

America, especially northern California, way north. They're diametrically opposed, right? So I can understand your feeling. But formal practice holds things together. It really holds things together. But it should be an informal formality. so that you don't feel formal. I don't feel, when I do my practice, it just feels good to me because it's just something I do over and over. And before I started practicing, I never wanted to repeat anything more than once. But once I oriented myself to practice, it just felt very comfortable. Just a comfortable way of doing things. So it doesn't feel formal to me.

[43:56]

It just feels like procedural, some way of doing things. When I get into my car, I have a formal way of driving, you know? And when I eat, I have a formal way of eating, even though I don't think of it as formal. But the way of eating with orioke is just the most wonderful way of eating that I've ever experienced. When you do it just right, when you have the bowls that are wrapped, and you unwrap the bowls and the cloth and you arrange things and then we, this is in a formal setting, I don't know if you've done this, it's just so rhythmic and most of it is appreciating where all the food came from and appreciating the fact that it's being served and appreciating the fact that and questioning whether your practice deserves the food. But then, we don't eat in a formal way, we just eat, right?

[45:01]

So, it's ritualistic, but the most common food tastes wonderful. And then you eat that same food at the table, it doesn't have the same flavor. It's just ordinary food. But when you have the ordinary food in the bowl, during that meal, it becomes something wonderful. I don't know, it just brings out, you have a different relationship to the food, which makes the humblest food into the most wonderful meal. So I always enjoy eating the oyaki. It's really transformative. We're very, very grateful for you being here.

[46:08]

I guess what I found most difficult off the top of my head would be dealing with my own ego. That's the most difficult part. And recognizing when it's raising, you know, ego is like, you know, self. This is always the most difficult part of practice. Self arises with grasping and clinging and desire and attachment. Without desire, attachment and clinging, there's no ego, there's no self. even though we feel like ourselves.

[47:13]

So this has been probably the most difficult thing to practice with. And it's the thing that we all practice with forever. But my teacher always said, the difficulty you have is what helps your practice. So we don't look on difficulty as something that we don't want, but we accept our difficulty and accept the problems that we have as the vehicle for practice. So when you say, what difficulty? I don't really think about difficulty. I only think about practice. So another, actually, I don't think I have any difficulty. Thank you very much.

[48:19]

I hope to see you all. We'll have announcements and then we will regroup. We have a session that begins on Wednesday evening at 7.30. And it goes until Saturday at 5. And it's best if you can have strong intentions the whole time. And if you can't, you can still come. And if you want to come for meals, please call me and let me know when you're coming. Goodbye. I'm actually Gayle's oldest librarian, and then he's the oldest. I took the book over to the window. and we're going to open the library and all become members.

[49:39]

And what also is new is that you can bring books of your own. So there should be a, whether it's books or at least perhaps some virtual content that has anything to do with it. And we would appreciate that very much if you could give us the length of a while or we'll donate it to you. And everything else is the same. If you sign up for books, we will So we are going to move now to support Park Avenue. Is there anything else? Let me see the check. What's the schedule for this? We have a ceremony? It will begin at 11 o'clock. you

[51:06]

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