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Being free to make our own choices, following recipes or not; trying to make a difference in a world full of violence.

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k kidding
thank you for coming
so i am
on one hand i want to a little bit more about nine when i was talking about this morning
and then then
after that it might be useful to run insurance and much to interpret a bit about the pan

ah again you know to review it i was talking about this morning i mentioned the story the monk asking the teacher how do i attain liberation from the teacher saying who is buying a you
and and
this is such an important point here dez bryant jail season yet to say
and you're my mom my dad read in a way rather tender in a doubt as albert can then and aneurysm said an irresponsible for your face

then you know way
oh anyway we will come here and here we are the an open finding a way
and that baby became down by in our decisions we made in childhood and ways of going bad things that we came up with how often they we even had language
and and it's a challenge than to be able to make in new tab choice
insurance again and stiff and then and choices depend enjoying what you shared
being kind according to some picture and description encourage
rather than you know having kindness is something that comes something from inside comes out alive
and is something from inside coming alive is known as we could say no coverage nine liberation
and that's a we can't really keep bound
and because we can't trust we don't trust at what's coming from inside is gonna be adequate and get enough rubbing enough kind enough so better do it and our life couldn't get some vanilla pudding same recipe
according to some scheme they came up with
and then in again as children and is in a young adults it's useful
to know how to behave in the world so that you get along with others and you get along and your family
and then as we become mature there's the possibility that we kid
he can three of our unconscious childhood decisions and to make a choices and when you make a choice isn't an adult it's not like a choice as a choice
it's not actually a decision it's a choice
and we make choices
and and it can make a choice ah you know you have the idea oh
oh this might be the wrong choice
reagan and do
how would you know what their choice was the right one or not
cause you can only that one life at a time and you can't go back and say well if by admittance other choice than a history of happened in which would have been better so which was a bit ensure a know
and often and can go so we don't know
and as i was also mentioned in a couple days ago you know oftentimes people who are doing spiritual practice
ah in the choice they make is to try not to make any choices
because it seems like an interesting that you're gonna get in trouble
yeah i love you start to do with you
really choose what's in your heart it may not look
like what other people want to see
and then might be disappointed or upset or unhappy with you
it shows what
but also you know once it's your choice and not just doing what you're supposed to be doing here responsible for this comes up all the time and cooking
people want to have a recipe because if your father sp and do it juice bunch of it doesn't work out at utah
i found the recipe i they were exposed to do against it's bad recipe sorry about that how'd you know so i'm not to blame and not responsible for this not working out so as long as you're doing what you're supposed to be doing
i what you'd think he knows the right thing to be doing you know it's anything that goes wrong is that your probably it did when you're supposed to have followed the rules everybody should be buying the rules
i'm falling the will singer so if you actually make a choice now you you certainly responsible and sunday may not like it and then they may
in a look at you and be upset with you were disappointed
and as one of the big things that also happens then is when you i'm actually making a choice in your life
an and you choose to do something that is not find your chanted rules and a chat and decisions you you will feel like you you're gonna get hurt
is what happens to get give a shit he can get punished
the mysterious and marcus day for printing share the road was to replace you in if you do not follow in a huge challenge it rose
right big example about this is a couple of summers ago my friend from high school came to visit from portland he called me he said i'm coming to visit
i'm getting in my car i said i don't have time to see you i'm getting a good has had all kinds of steps to do i'm getting ready for three workshops i don't have time to say well i'm coming to see you
i mean you're not hearing something that i'm telling you i'm bringing you some books okay maybe been some books but i don't have time to see to
i just down an insane i'm busy i'm stressed they have all kinds of thing to give me for oily and i'm gonna get i'm gonna get on my stuff together for the workshops and the classes in it to know and i do not have time but i'm driving six hundred miles
to see you
well okay well maybe i anaconda the equity know really i don't have time sorry am
and and benefits well okay why may come a job the books up anyway
i do know and then then i got to thinking about this concern thinking he's probably going to coming brand my hamster
cause i'm not doing what he you know you're supposed to you know to be friendly it's my oldest friend from high school it's my oldest friend it gets supposed to stay vs of course i can see i will make time for you i will set aside all of my responsibilities and i will be there for you dear
friend of many years and i'm not doing this and not day where i'm supposed to do so said thinking he's gonna burn my aunt and his pecan and i'm not being a going to stand a prior he's going to you know he's gonna trash my place and and i got really worried i talked to rang a
i'm scared level headed about these things i talked to my neighbor jennifer
and she'd been i've been consulting her but this is no can't i just say i don't have time and you know that's the way that's what happens in life you know people sometimes in i am time
and and you know and you have choices you can make a choice here this is a choice you have
i know but he's no wasn't and she said and added there is there's some history of violence hear that you're not telling me about
i said well no but you know guys sometimes do this thing they know they will follow a woman who is you know that they've disappointed or upset with and now tracking down and they won't you know attack them and you know to terrible things you know too because they do not doing what if they want you to
and i do it somebody wants you to do so they they will come up to that it would you know it could happen just as and usually when that happens is a history of violence
know you know any history here but anyway the point of this is
any time you don't follow your rules
you don't do what you're supposed to do he was start to feel like
i'm i'm endangering i can get i can get her for this i could get punished something can go something can happen so
now i don't i'm that that would send the first time i was willing to disappointed friend
yeah and sixty nine sixty four that cyclists sixty one and sixty two years elegance okay to disappoint symphony
what's gonna happen
yeah and then it's like this is like in a tube it's your parents richard disappointing
in it and no don't disappoint me and and then but you kinda like you know when you break the rules you don't fall and you start to do it acts they knew makes sense be alive
we're gonna choose something instead to worry used due to stress redskin know what's gonna happen to me i could get i can get hurt for this
and you don't know how it's gonna come out we don't know how interested in and around but you know we can make choices and
the palm i mentioned this morning nurses lines know they wouldn't man gets up to sing the stone woman gets up to dance
so this is the understanding and senators
you know there's a person inside who has been you know wooden
there's a person inside has been frozen in stone
and doesn't dare
and they'd sing or dance or speak or act doesn't dare because they could be in a criticized sir this is also the understanding that in a rather than the criticized by someone else i will censor myself better than they ever could before they have a chance
before anybody else had the chance to criticize me i will censor myself better than they possibly could so i won't say there's no chance that i can get and yeah called on the carpet
and you know this is one of the so this will manifest this kenneth
tendency in life in you will manifest in various where it's really started to feel at some point we to kill pretty damn you know pretty wooden pretty stiff finished don't like and not much as we don't have much capacity for what's inside how to express this
how do i express you know and basically know we're talking about his heart do i express my height
am i real caring and concern and we are simply real how to express this something real
and it's also some in earnest and then it's also you know feelings
and can i know what i'm feeling when i feel it and and can i find a way to express it it is not attacking hurting harming others by expressing and i i'd like it know this is what i feel
and sometimes no way am i certainly am not able to do that and i am i can be exposed to the times at one point you know jon kabat-zinn right milan jon kabat-zinn is like miley robot my house for dinner and they said oh you can expose it when you promised to read that book by green and on expensive child than you can learn
how to live with yourself you know
i got them book on the expensive child and it says you need to be the grown-up
now i'm an explosive charge against the gonna take two people i can i can be the experts in child and the current
you may think forgotten their and
similarly are experiencing any more a large part of my expensive nurseries it turns out you know from type of behavior trying to do too much
sanders less of it now that happens sometimes
ah so this is about and you know is there a way to can what has been frozen or staggered step inside you know how does it
superman this is very important this is about you know having a alive coming alive
and then it and it has something to do it
i'm know to be finding out we ever whole lifetimes to do this
you know to find out how to
ah you know rather than hide
oh what's actually going on with that said
nobody can say what may be a problem
ah and we won't have to face the possibility of disapproval
and will go along with things that we don't really choose to go along with okay i'll see you and i resent you for it but i that it's fine and i'm enjoying my time i do i the best they can to pretend that it's great sale and
right actually i'm kirsten i am staff to tehran ah
ah it's very interesting command and know you know i found cooking to be a place where i can express myself
ah and i think we you know we can find places in a ripe where we can express yourself and little by little from cooking i worked up to seeing if i can express myself with people
i'm and again as i was mentioning earlier parted by the way that
you know the why we get expensive is because you know we're trying so hard to be contained and to stay within the parameters that we believe are the parameters that a human being should stay within in order to i'll be acceptable humor in vain and to have people like a
as and i had disapproval and etc
and more and more you lock yourself up the more another part of you will explode
and am
when aspect sydney of in a one possibility for why we get depressed sometimes is in have been said shut down
and not being willing to actually express your manifests what's inside and and next to president at some point lot of energy there and at sometimes if you can't especially if you're not willing to be angry or you can tell and i'll be a lot of other things
you can't have the passion and determination intensity and and creativity and a lot of other aspects if you know had to be in can be can be sure to contain yourself that means containing a lot of other things besides if the things that
and i'm in a wreck anger the simple understanding that you know is that it takes certain muscles to express your anger and then you can use it for anything else either
you've gotta you've got yourself locked down and locked up again
so i think it's important and can to
find something and you know people say the know it's possible to do with sitting receding you can
with meditation you know it's something you can do with passion and energy and it's a really safe place to give that you can really put yourself into it and see what
no and energize yourself and focus and i sit up straight and
and and vitalize yourself and in see what you can no good stewards you can find out see what happens when you said
and but there's many things that we can have passion point it doesn't have to be in owners no
and then when i hired for that there's something that you our or something can come from inside listening everything in their life can be like that but at least seminarians like pet that so a refreshing for us

so i think i'm ready to bring up the sand palm
this the pound i am a joking mr duggan's teacher raging
and it goes like this and
a great road has no gate
it begins in your own mind
the breath has no fixed pathways
he added finds its way to your nostrils
from becomes your bread
somehow we made
and somehow we need
right misfits are bandits and download
somehow we need redness gets are bandits in the dhamma ah the great house comes tumbling down astonished me believes flying scattered
it's the right time of year where you can say maple leafs brian scatter and in spring has been in saying am astonished the irish pub and blossom
it's cynthia in the tulips
l again one thing i want to point out about this poem and in hours
he's not telling you if you just do this then you know you'll get it right
and then
yeah the idea of sitting is not so much that you get it right but that you have a way to observe things carefully
a way to see what's going on without getting distracted about getting something done finishing the dishes getting a meal good can you can just
see how does powders i experience girl there's thoughts and feelings on added things work
can also person sitting on something that we haven't in a pack that's a ranch bed as she said and your straight to just sit and breathe
i e again to start finding a breadth instead finding places inside we kept things in storage
the difficult parts are painful feelings to the memories that you weren't can have anything to do it did you think you could just get rid of them
get there and you have to know you get them said that you don't go there
you know they've got stuck inside saying no we're not to go and then you start setting namesake
and then you have been a sadness and sorrow and grief and emirates and steps are surfacing
and and this is
know part of clearing the way for somebody to come alive
and oftentimes you know mythologically by the way and and this point is not some ledge know send people don't seem can have mentioned this match bed he'll often you know what's gonna melt the stone and soften the word is and tears
oh well
and you and you know the chairs are up in the first thing that arises to riches and in or something inside coming alive
and they this done as no longer he knows they're petrified the word is no longer since tip and dry something can know because of the tears
and so many feelings and memories and when it repaired and instead to breathe and just said and then this this can come to the surface and then he don't have to spend the rest of your life avoiding it being careful
not to do anything that might touch in that stuff that you didn't want to exaggerate with he didn't want him onto rug
so this is sometimes considered being a pin at the basement to the editor
yeah no housekeeping
reclaiming step away
opinion have a different kind of possibility of energy in your life and then at some point and i know what get ready even to do it right where you
and as work in this relationship with and in swimming swimming any things you know
right and painting and cooking and gardening and walking in i'm burning and
so many activities
a theater
ah teaching

i so i'm a great way has no gate
there's nothing
we already on the path
logan says and in a later jochen and you said the first thing a couldn't trust buddhism is to trust in your life is already on the path to trust in buddhism in contrast burdensome is to trust that your life that you aren't already on the path of your life is the path that this is the only path but there is
there's not some of the path and you think realize it why doesn't work any better than
that's the path
is finding you know your way along this is not working very well and what direction to go from here
and making some choices
here i go from here
there's no guede like an era to get through a pastor know her life and another way of saying you know if you are
dear christian and know it's year it's part of god's plan or something

the first thing is to believe a know to chance that your life you know your life is the way there's not some so sometimes people think well no i wanna be on the buddhist way where there's not always that own roadblocks and
you know and
but it is thinks we have to grow on caterers there's that so many roadblocks and did not i want the pathway just kind of it's just kind of smooth
no speed bumps and air and i want the kind of path it's kind of like those culbertson instead of like the creek with others rocks
actually you don't want the carpet
you don't want to live with smooth you want to live with the rocks and where you keep bumping up against things and find your way
around them
ah or this an erosion in the water you know the water will find its way your life will find its ray
and you don't need it you don't need a smooth what you need some problems we need issues we need something to do with ourselves
and often the something deal with ourselves you know as the runes we got an uncharted we need to we need to heal them
if you know where your hair so you get wounded
that's the way it standards to get wounded denser cater your character is the marks from the scars of your wounds
and then you spent i'm working through all that stuff working on those things
finding a way that's the bad is not send a special buddhist path it doesn't have issues that you've got are you get away from your issues in your problems and have a nice buddhist pristine spiritual enlightened
magnificent easy
people are holding parasols of your hand
the ring fencing if if ever you have no

so the great way and as know gate it begins near own mind

sorry been talking about this
how this path begins in your own mind
making charging decisions that can be kind of adult choices

and this is working on lines deal it to
as the negotiate and others have said to numbers from understands there's two aspects to reality relative in the absolute

and you know one of the main problems we haven't to endangers we confuse relative and absolute
and we hear about i'm no composure as possible and calm as possible and stone as possible and we take it literally i'm going to steal the relative world
read stillness and calmness and quiet isn't the nature of consciousness
it's nature the absolute
so you know to find that standards is actually ran your awareness is moving exactly with things that's when and stillness
it said and
you know it's like the example two trains going i'm in a to change moving at the same spirit when needed and in order to change doesn't seem to be moving
selling your consciousness exactly what's your breath exactly were you thinking exactly with what your gaming experience to a bitch but we think he learned has done this i need to have everything completely quiet i need to not have any thoughts coming up i need to not having feelings coming up i need to and able
and my consciousness said the nothing arises
records this is where you know the old chinese then after the say this is an obstruction to the way when i say not to think some of you are making your minds like stones this is not what i meant
sometimes we try to do some a literal kind of i will do that stone is literally
and and ringing at least in one translation of that center says
how this is an obstacle to the pat
and when i say not to think i mean it you have a dog think nothing of it
think nothing of it is you have a thought and your mind is exactly what that that and then you don't it's not right then you can start thinking how do i get rid of this thought how do i get rid of this time is now for it's cause any disturbance
not the thought itself

so we set out to do and anyway
we can go on about this a great way and has no gate round the path begins in your own mind
it's not something from outside it's something that he showed up for yourself
opinion a breath has no fixed the air has no fixed pathways
he added finds its raging asterism becomes your breath
so much of her life is
from happening without having to worry about it
and nobody's figuring out and nothing's figuring out in the midst of it

somehow we made like misfits abandoned said the dharma

misfits are bandits
in this chinese sandwiches and so refreshing sometimes it's not so now he made like wonderful fame and sketch of people by naked in together and robin light and benefit in their bidding edges so superbly a magnificent in sweden he was reading that therein didn't need youtube
yeah see a bird him in the midst said samuel we made like misfits and bandits and with
you know where we're not an know it is like a associates and said
wouldn't it be great
did you get identify what's evil from what's good and then you kid shouldn't lemonade the evil
wouldn't that be wonderful he said but unfortunately you know when line between good and evil it runs right through the middle of each person's heart and you're gonna eliminate half of themselves
so this is another way of saying ago
god the k a road is located the beach can sneer and
so how are you gonna do that
so we think i can identify this but where where misfits when you know again dad and you know independent and who is looking and one dead and singers have been it looks bad we're just not
you know going to be able to get it all right and you know i thought i could i spent years trying i'm sorry i'm a failure i'm in this thread
i bet you know i could actually lang added
present myself and away the research good and everybody just loved
i can do that
and just doesn't seem to work like that
misfits bandits
and how are you going to say no gere fan be no
but i'm dragging six hundred miles i have some books for you

that's also true that has demanded another was living at the red woods and can you need to consider sir
it wasn't all on me

since penny know i i sort of try to be a decent person but you know i'm just not
such a decent person going on
for humans
i'm in a movie and is a good to be in a movie and in a movie and doris told me you're in a movie because you're not chicken on and you're not the dalai lama your you and you've got problems and people get see you having problems
and she said i think that's going to encourage paper and they're going to listen she begins into account set center can listen to your so spirits the better and advanced than they are good for cancer get up and say right why would anyone listen to them
you know is that person would have been know about you the misfit and you the bandit
you can't get it right here to can you know
been such a great person


most of us
what's going on program

absolutely wrong

so i think this is a case where and know i think you know had the written man get up and sing and the stolen get up and dance

and it's mr pyne went to do you know
in a picture that you know apparently in sarajevo
oh i saw a picture ten the man sitting there in this devastation in a plane cello company with brands challenge every day in certain time

does it make all the difference
probably not bet know
do something
do we doing nearly gone cocaine and eating new
and no steam when it is we want to do too
oh so we have to share we had to offer
and then you know connect and raised that way no endeavored to connect and made and sharing relating
standing together work together
and then
take care of something you know
can our world
and i downsized another steady prayer
this pair work and it turns out did you know there are dozens of scientific studies that showed the pair words
he considers that were in the best kept secrets of western science
the prayer words
but that sort of like saying you know the placebo effect works
and when people steady which strength to get into trying to eliminate the placebo effect next day the placebo effect as random as powerful than she can do to kill anybody
but they have to eliminate that to send that their drug works better than the placebo effect
so pair were expectancy work absolutely
well apparently not
but but em
no it works it works him and then the best pair he says he describes how they did decide to picking spam and big clown alfalfa opposites and crowned and mode that grows and our puppet states
and they have it in three different areas and name is one that nobody prays for one that people are praying that the ah topic is big and tall and thin when everybody's brain they will be done
or as a bonus you can send me the best results occur
and that one goes the best
no enrages say
i give your best homage to the protection of winston the love in holly this is like it is isn't it
praise be
and when you start thinking that and things were better it's it's very mysterious how does that work
so as some people find it instead of print and so year when you're printing in that sense and size in
besides is a form this pair
in up paying for anything insist
a things pay the way they are how about that
and may the best kalevala this
and you get i'd been saying that your intention is to be with things into and to lead a like flour
to let the best of this
and however it might manifest itself you don't know if feeling you went along in the dark
and then that's a powerful turns out
and now it doesn't solve everything it doesn't take care of with hand it is just some things that are beyond any of us to do much about
i have no fence in germany who can be you know it's really painful red
when did the west especially american hollywood make this a german problem
it's not a german problem you know the russians did it
the russians did it in ukraine
we killed native americans may go to iraq you know if killed hundreds of millions of people in iraq can only go we go nearly made a massive i wreck
so it's not just day and and as the this is a new people and the amazing thing is that in our then with all of that you know where upstairs the human race were successful enough to know
bring about climate change and press a big ern demise to our success
way there's no and it's it's hard to know it to do it all that because so much as they work and seventy
force it in a in other words it so
impossible i would say to it you know what to do it's going to make all the difference
greg and so then if you're trying to make all the difference you can get completely paralyzed and not too much of anything because i can't make all the difference so we kind of find a place makes as a girl she said to shine one corner
find had a bracing in our own life in our own hearts and our relationship with the world and the things around us and nearby us read steady how to be with things and had a been midst of her life and and have something break up inside and you know manifest
playing a cello and the middle of the devastation you know
remember it is to remind myself

i do it to have to do it's obvious that
stead similar stared anywhere
the ordinary did the obvious
ah so i'm in no
the genes palm then there's ah the great house comes tumbling down
and the great houses this some structure that we created and know always thought needed to be maintained and fixed up and improved in
how little constructive running when our life needs to look like now
is in ruins
for the palm reaching reaching and sin and duggan's teacher in china
i may just be making this happy know
i know and it's hard to find and tied to track down i've tried sometimes when i still think you know every so often i come across it an area that is your jang but i could be wrong and i just made them from up and in a credit to your aging and you been like it's is
when probably in a good day when you know if you memorize a poem and you recite it now it's years so that's why if you memorized and recited then you get to change the lions you want
to change that's why and then the palm sometimes the arab spring it's not as times maple leaves fry and scattered notes astonished
ever since the plum blossoms
the jasmine rose
the name
and then
so this answer reminds me of another shirt anime and japanese and teachers
no practice for many years and one morning he was offering the incense and bowing and he looked up in the light was
coming into the window
and he'd never seen it before
at the naples try and scatter
and he said for thirty years have tried to sweep away the dust
he acquired my mind you know get rid of the kind of problematic things that are happening
for thirty years i've tried to slip away the dads can get i realized that the sweeping was creating more deaths

now i look up in the morning light shines through the window everything is completely new
that's when the great house you know the great powers can stand again
story and
you know a remake choices and way
we give ourselves to things and then we can choose something else me
we can say you absolutely can say now own

can't thank you