Uh, good evening, good evening. We meet again. Good evening, good evening. Uh, good evening, good evening. Uh, and, uh, meeting again is curious because, um, you know, somehow we've been in each other's

[01:18]

hearts all along. Um, but we didn't know it. Now that we're here together, it becomes more obvious. Uh, and I feel, um, um, warm inside, um, with all of you here. It feels warm, yes. It's warm. Uh, I want to say a little bit about, um, our session.

[03:03]

Um, Suzuki Roshi said, uh, all I can do is show you what I know. Uh, and I can teach you the practice that I know. Um, later, um, you, um, will find out how you want to practice. And here we are. Uh, so one of the, uh, things I want to, um, talk about, and, um, you know, we'll

[04:18]

see how it goes, um, is the practice of, uh, silence. Uh, and this is somewhat related to, um, uh, that, uh, we're, once we got started, we've ended up with a different event, because I've invited Rainier to, um, offer Qigong. So, um, let me first say a few words about, um, silence.

[05:21]

So, um, let me first say a few words about silence. So, um, let me first start. So, um, let me first start. Um, and this is related to how, um, meditation works. Uh, in a very simple way, um, when you sit down, and, um, you know, you're not, although

[06:26]

you may have movement inside, you're not moving outwardly. Uh, and then you're not, um, talking. So, the simple concept here is that, um, because you're not using energy to move, or to speak, energy is building up inside. Um, because we're not used to, um, this energy, various things will happen.

[07:28]

It's not true, um, well, anyway, uh, there's two different things, uh, two or more different things, so I want to talk about, um, at least two different things that happen. Uh, one thing that can happen is that you have, um, you have more energy, and if you have more energy, we'll spend it. Um, this is what countries do, and what many individuals do with money, you know, if you have money, spend it. Uh, we used to joke, um, at Tuscarora, somebody, you know, here you are two miles, uh, two hours from town, and if you're going to go into town, then people would say, oh, you're going to town.

[08:49]

Let's see how far off center you can get. Uh, so, anyway, there's some tendency, uh, to, uh, to, uh, to, [...] to

[09:53]

to, [...] to But one is, at a very basic level anyway, sometimes the energy inside is uncomfortable. But one is, at a very basic level anyway, sometimes the energy inside is uncomfortable.

[10:55]

People can be extremely anxious, nervous, stage fright. People can be extremely anxious, nervous, stage fright. So before events, the energy grows. If the energy wasn't growing inside, you couldn't, you would not do a good performance, you would not play a great sporting match. If the energy wasn't growing inside, you couldn't, you would not do a good performance, you would not play a great sporting match.

[12:15]

So the question is, are we interested in learning how to make more energy available in our lives? And learn how to, it's a craft, a craft to have larger energy inside. And then to find out how to offer that energy or share that energy in various expressions. In a Buddhist sense or Zen sense, it's to learn how to share the gift of your presence with others in a way where they appreciate it.

[13:54]

In a Zen sense, it's the ability to share our own presence with others and to take out the power. So it's using your gifts, the gift of your presence, to benefit others. So, but you know, what happens, I want to say now a little bit more about what happens as soon as you start to have more energy inside.

[15:00]

I've been calling this energy, but you know, once it's inside like this, it's, we could also call it spiritual energy. You're not in charge of it anymore. When you spend it, you know what you're doing with it. You do this, you do that, you handle this, you take care of that, you talk. And then when you run out of energy, take a nap, go to bed. But when you're sitting and the energy is growing inside, the energy will start to move in your body with a mind of its own.

[16:29]

It will move with its own mind, its own spirit. It's self-employed, so to speak. We don't want to give energy anymore. We want to handle energy, not control it, but handle it. One of the things that happen is, that happens is the energy will activate places,

[17:53]

that aren't normally activated. I will tell you a simple story. A friend of mine, who I've now known for 35 years, said she started, she was having problems with drugs and alcohol. And she met some people from the Zen center. They seemed so calm and spiritual and such good people.

[18:54]

So she decided to become a Zen student. So she said she put her problems in the closet. In front of the closet, she put up a brick wall, beautiful red bricks. In front of the closet, she put up a brick wall, beautiful red bricks. Oh, I'm sorry. We'll get it straight. Okay, so the problems are in the closet. She put her problems in the closet. I have to translate. She put it in the closet. About the same, okay. Maybe about the same.

[20:07]

Alright, so she got the problems in the closet, closed the door. She put her problems in the closet. In a closet. And then there was a red brick wall. Yeah, and then closed the door to the closet, put up a beautiful red brick wall. Ah, she built the wall. Well, you know, she had the problems in the closet, beautiful wall in front of it. Hung a Tonka. Wall of bricks and a wall of fire. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so she put her problems in the closet. And then, beautiful Tonka, she hung some Tonkas on the wall. And she lived for a while a spiritual life. Then, as you might guess, you know what happens, the energy starts to come inside.

[21:15]

And bricks and the Tonkas are falling off the wall. The bricks are crumbling. And then the closet, the doors just, the doors just, they don't, they come open and then, you know, everything in the closet is out in the room. Some of you in Tzishin may have had this kind of experience. In Zen, one of the simple descriptions.

[22:15]

This is a somewhat dated metaphor, but take off the blinders, you know, if you have the horse and it's got its blinders on. Take off the blinders. And then they say unpack the saddle bags. Usually, of course, you don't need this advice. The saddle bag stuff is just scattered all over the place. So what's been in the closet is, you know, memories and feelings and thoughts.

[23:27]

So, you know, many, so much. It's happened and we, we tucked it away. We, you know, people said get over it. People said grow up. Wachse. And, you know, do what needs to get done. And just don't go in the closet. Und geh nicht in den Schrank. Another, you know, metaphor for this. Is that the energy inside starts to move in channels.

[24:39]

In Kanälen. That have not been used for a while. So when the energy, which sometimes, oftentimes, the metaphor is water. So the metaphor is water. The water shifts in the Kanälen. These Kanälen are basically rusty pipes, aren't they? They are clogged up. When the energy is starting to move, it's clogged up. You experience this pain in your body. Und wenn wir, wenn wir sowas jetzt auf uns übertragen, also uns sozusagen ein verstopftes Rohr in uns vorstellen, auf dem Druck ist, das ist Schmerz. Das tut weh.

[25:53]

Wenn wir dazu kommen, reden wir heute Nacht noch mehr über Schmerzen. We say that, you know, then the, so when the energy pushes through, there's debris. Wenn die, schuld, schuld, schuld. Also wenn die Energie durchbricht, geht alles kaputt. Schuld. You know, if you have an old pipe that hasn't been used, you turn the water and then rust and crud comes out. Yeah. And then... So this is another metaphor for, you know, instead of closet and debris coming out of the closet, you have the pipe and debris comes out of the pipe.

[27:16]

It's old material, it's old feelings and memories and, you know. And then, when things appear like this, sometimes you can get very involved with all this crud. You can get very involved with all the stuff that come out of the closet. And then you say, why do I have so much stuff in my closet? How did this happen?

[28:30]

I must have more crud in my closet than anybody ever. I want to have a pristine mind and body. Beautiful sparkling fountains of light and love and joy. Instead I have all this debris. All this energy. But this energy or water, Suzuki Roshi's description, metaphor was water and...

[29:47]

Go ahead. And you're creating a reservoir to contain this water. Wir schaffen uns ein Reservoir, ein Stausee, um dieses Wasser zu behalten. And you want to stop the leaks. Yes. So this is where, you know, speaking comes in. Because to talk, when you're accumulating water in your reservoir, to talk is to leak. Wenn wir ein Reservoir an spiritueller Energie haben, ist sprechen das Leak.

[31:01]

And of course if we're not doing Sushin, then there's many, many ways to leak. You know, drugs, sex, alcohol, you know, the usual. Work, you can work too much. Ich glaube, solche Leaks zu haben, Leaks an spirituellen Energiereservoirs, sex and drugs are not normal. Arbeit. Arbeit, yes. Thank you. You know, you can be a type A person. But anyway, I don't have time to talk about type A people. I am a recovering type A person.

[32:05]

I won't tell you this much. Trying to do too much like this will cause big leaks. Thank you. So on one hand, this increase of energy or water is, you know,

[33:16]

working into places that have been neglected for a long time. Thank you. Auf der anderen Seite ist es das Wasser des friedvollen Meeres. The ocean, ocean Samadhi.

[34:41]

Samadhi is, you know, a word for a deep stillness. The cow is agreeing with me. Yes, that cow says yes, you tell him. One time I was at Green Gorge giving a lecture and the first Sunday of the month we start with a lecture to the kids who were there. And I was teaching the kids who were 3, 4, 5 year olds how to meditate.

[35:48]

Basically I was saying, why don't we be quiet and not move and not talk and let's see what happens. And I closed my mouth and then the tongue started trembling. It was an earthquake. People then said, how did you do that? So, you know, part of my encouragement to practice silence is, you know,

[37:01]

I want you to have some experience of this ocean Samadhi. Erlebnisse habt, ocean Samadhi. I used to, there was a year or two when I worked,

[38:20]

on rocks, with rocks, building rock walls and rock gardens, sometimes with Suzuki Roshi. It was a time when I worked with stones, with Suzuki Roshi, building stone gardens. He loved stones, he loved working with stones. This is another kind of Samadhi. Samadhi like a rock.

[39:21]

It's one on the altar. Samadhi like a mountain. It's not, you know, something that you try to create and then keep from now on. But this Samadhi is also what is able to reflect the moon of enlightenment. The ocean Samadhi, you know, the moon is reflected in the water.

[40:38]

The mountain, and then the moon is like a companion. That's great. I know I'm on the right track. So, once when, after we'd been working with stones a lot, Suzuki Roshi said to me,

[41:50]

I like working with stones. And when I was younger, I worked too hard with rocks. It's much more important to develop your Samadhi. The nature of, you know, so Samadhi, you know, we're studying or knowing directly the nature of mind.

[43:29]

Samadhi, we're knowing directly the nature of mind. Samadhi, when we are in Samadhi, we know directly or study directly the nature of mind. Normally, we get quite concerned about the objects of mind. The objects of mind are the five senses.

[44:44]

Thoughts, feelings, emotions, you know, other characteristics of consciousness. You know, concentration, lack of concentration, so we start, we start getting involved in all these objects. And how to get the objects straightened out. Beautiful, nice, in my little territory here. And of course, you will never be finished, as soon as it's the way you'd like, it's gone.

[46:02]

We will never be finished, we will never make it. And when we achieve something, it's already over. That kind of activity. That kind of activity again is kind of leaking to try to arrange phenomena to be to your liking.

[47:09]

You know, I need to mention of course that it's, you know, this is important for us to do this. But we do it way too much. You know, we need to take care of our life and do things to take care of ourselves. But at some point you start trying to take care of this thing, this, you know, sadness, and then the anger, and then the plans, and then, you know, getting it to come out, and it's endless. So, I need to finish up my talk.

[48:50]

So this kind of, you know, we have one more day to see if we can settle into Samadhi. And this will be especially challenging with all the energy we've already developed from Sachine. And we're actually additionally studying, you know, how to shift into various activities, work, and Qigong, and, you know.

[50:24]

So we're shifting into activities, and then we're going to be shifting back into stillness to the extent we can. So, I'm not, you know, at all certain how possible it's going to be for us as a group to practice silence, you know, as much as we can. I don't know how much that will be possible. I'd still like to encourage you to practice silence. Did I say all of that?

[51:53]

No. Again, I don't have time to go into it. So, another kind of possibility here is to anyway carefully watch, observe what happens, and how it happens. So this means watching, you know, noticing the wish to talk arising, noticing

[53:15]

noticing how one chooses to act on that. Noticing what happens. And then noticing when you come back to silence, how is your mind? And, you know, how much of a kind of, [...] you know, how much of a kind

[54:25]

of, you know, lights like ocean spray or clouds on the mountain, how much there is going on after you've had a conversation. And then allow yourself to come back into the stillness. And with all the energy that we have from this week, from sitting and from Qigong and from our work and our play and our practice together. We have a chance to have this opportunity to have a stillness or samadhi that is vibrant

[55:43]

awake and yet still. So I started out thinking maybe I wouldn't worry about this one way or another but it sounds like I'm still encouraging you to go in this direction. So we'll see what happens and thank you for your good hearts. And for embarking on this journey.

[56:45]

As I said at the beginning, we must have been in each other's hearts all along. This is why we're here for this week and for this evening. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[58:34]

Thank you. [...]

[59:43]

Thank you. [...]

[60:45]

Thank you. [...] I don't know why I'm doing this, [...] I don't

[62:02]

know why I'm doing this, I don't [...] know why I'm

[63:32]

doing this, I don't know why I'm [...] doing to be still. It's not holding still. It's letting go of any movement, you know, externally. No fidgeting. In English, you know, fidgeting. Wiggling. No wiggling, no fidgeting. Impeccable. Still. Stillness with ease. Easy. Soft. Stillness with ease.

[65:32]

Stillness with ease. Stillness with ease. Stillness with ease.

[67:02]

Stillness with ease. Stillness with ease. Stillness with ease.

[68:32]

Stillness with ease. [...]

[70:02]

Stillness with ease. [...]

[71:14]

Stillness with ease. [...] Would you especially like to send prayers and blessings to? Susanna. Michael.

[72:30]

Antonio. Gertrude. Walter. Ingrid. Paul. Coco. Heike. Peter. Gabi. Michelle. Alexander. Wolfgang. Matthew. Ruben. Pia.

[73:34]

Emma. Alvonzo. Helmut. Ana Ambrose. Daniel. Gertrude. Peter. Jonathan. Sarah. Ingrid. Susanna. Rene.

[74:40]

Chris. Gertrude. Peter. Gertrude. [...] So, um, let the sound of the chant wash through you, receiving the sound, joining to the sound.

[76:03]

So, we used to say, you know, chant with your ears, okay? So, chant with your ears, okay? So, chant with your ears, okay?

[77:25]

So, chant with your ears, okay? [...]

[78:51]

So, chant with your ears, okay? [...] Thank you.

[79:56]

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