than this one
i am and first sad and the seat and nineteen four
as for the winter practice period
i was the and head teacher and for their practice period there and twenty two students

it was during the subsequent to around the time of the side of the empire
saturday will know
read this from their services
and then
so i used to and come in there like this and come over here and said
twenty two people is probably one of those matters bagged his pants
and then
it was good good the paper though
steam fair while driving andrews cats may have been here robin made on brenda
browse
and a class to the wagner who
died from drinking too much alcohol
later
and then
can you as a canny avid
now she's though there was an editor is the cousin of the other entered forget her name
in varied and kept the practice going here at desert
i tried em when they have that you know it might be nice if we actually practice talking to each other
i said whether we have lunch
other day off together or
no once a week or something in his staffers said no had become here to test her to practice says in
yeah to talk to each other
okay
because i spent a lot of space in not typing to people as that it may be nice to practice talking to people
so have some users to it

and then
he had an unusual event as of that patches period
i think was that parent is period it might have been just after the to began in the summer there was a senior named james
james is about twenty to twenty
pretty young very sincere their sweet young boy young man
and a windowless some of the staff came to me said
i'm james has been smoking dope and sham drabs with other students we have to kick him out
it's against the rules
so i asked germs that can them talk to me
and james said
or email is my birthday
and my mom sent me a care package
most moms same care packages with the cookies
germs his mother's seven a care package with in a brownies
the and with drugs
i'm james said i couldn't take are those drugs myself
i thought it better serve them as cemetery students
and so i thought that was web you do with care packages

and i said to my staff
you know i think james is a very good student really sincere person i think we should keep him here
he must have said no we we have to follow the rules

and james has to live
you can't allow him to stay
so i'm not very well read
taken a thoroughly
so i agreed with the staff
well you know i mean james has been a friend of yours and vs
her some men of you are know about that you know said
have been a female impersonator for twenty years and then all kinds of drugs and everything in
twenty years of in a ribbon of and then
i'm been stand and dr done
i'm in one day was and down heatstroke lived in the bookstore window and there's a picture of a lot and maharshi
endless and that it's time for me to start meditating
and he came to presents and a bad day or next day
and then there was every day and the fed house and senate sweeping the floor my bullet your absolute and polishing it
he'd seen with the rack sir
the electric sir buffing the of this answer day after day and come into morning meditation and the senate on his head
know his claire's will came of
one out that there can be mended with patches
he wants to mood in and twenty years there was only one time that that i was so out of the when i got home lived in hang up my clothes and fold them and put them away once
soto zen in many ways every had a practice
even before then he hung his close up
and he mended things and the patches as river obvious

amazon is to so i never stopped melton to do those other things
i just wanted to do says and more
so i had to get home and enough at night and be cleared of the age of bourbon says and the next day
philip person is another's is a gracious students that his philippines to like to party
and
this is years ago well know
thurber been if football player and the stanford offensive line
and when they decided nothing get given his way
method would stab him
and by the third quarter of the game he was watching it from above the field
and afterwards they would take him to the hospital
friday i do
well he came down and bag
philip and in a standard sam and japan and says a person send him to aig he didn't know any japanese
and he was there i think the second she's so here

he lived in anthem cabin for a team
and
sometimes you really obsessive us who is here philip was here
this is a grocer and to san francisco verbatim step following the schedule
and then sometimes video player he had a better parent forty five rpm record player and we can remember tessa harry from cabin fourteen
and you know and says accuracy i came back when time and they've been playing as record player and we heard
a developing a similar bush's cabin and hurts a are hitting him wack wack wack
and never adverb said
well said that he had been as his accuracy was hitting him for plane for the fare better player and that behind schedule
but anyway what's his appreciate term philip was don't fight with dick baker
and firms said oh don't fight would take baker and was did you hear me i said don't fight with the burger and then he started hitting him
thereafter arrive and step that he was seven thoroughbreds broke
since the zippers you've got a memory stick
and ferb took it away from him
and is accuracy mistakes are really presses who don't want him back another one on me
but philip said masses of us who is serving him his energy was just getting burger and is so i met that's what was supposed to happen but my energy was as given mabs with them manager and bigger than the room and will encourage
anyway

a fellow blogger says security
and you see pictures of him you know happens is a christian move rocks

and philip and dinner because they left the pilots and match
he move it if he went home after the party he would never put as as in the next day so we were drivers guy this was when sensitivities and laguna hills drive is chi ever to remastered drive his car and let her sleep and then he could put up in the morning and go into says it
and he said the same thing you know similar to assemble you know i didn't want to miss as him but you know with the piazza said and i didn't want to miss the body
sir james they've been a family of the sentence and
and a salad in introduce james james had been a street person in san francisco
amazon bad him to presents and as are introduced him to sit and james was here personal tessera and then
step said he has to go and i didn't know
yeah because two or three months later james is dead
he was back on the street and taking drugs

i think this is an amazing practice that we do and right that we lived together
and and it's hard sometimes to see them
benefits bed
i'm dr james and peluso know i mean back since then saved i think saved my life
that was many years later i read and in and derby champ vicksburg am a cucumber
and then
then cook them to kinda david and tells a story about
when he was working here he was head of the dining room and i was the head of the kitchen
and then
and i will rebel short staffed

so i rewrote a lot of hours and sometimes do have does happen david's approach because is in a probably the most gregarious person i know
sometimes they upset with him summary or test and everybody who works by times to him and i don't talk to anybody go i'm just starting to now after all these years
david everybody about passes hi david says hi and and they may never to talk about
what's happening in
seem so easy for i don't know what to talk about
and m
david how to every better than back when he was a one bedroom then he regret instead of talking to guess and then so you know i need to go serve the day and went to come in we can keep talking with the rope with me
i will get over it and then and he lived and by the end of the new and would be sitting down with the west and drinking wine
they will grow up infamous climate turbos and when we read to their cabins and term scabs or bandy and
i'm to the night
he lived not bullet mornings as and he remembered my service you remember a bad post here and my blood steady and when we will go to the chosen chosen chosen to with some new jersey after goes them in the morning after breakfast because he was one of the staff
when seniors to have
and when though and after those the t
the angeles mobility and everybody gets their cap and a little cookie movie in and bow and and have a sip of tea and says okay you instead she was mobile seventies came into versa
i'm not and then he would say sarah woods reluctance anything you want to talk about
and ever director
sad that says oversee what to do that somebody who's always breaking the rules
we have been several men who can smell the alcohol is bad

it doesn't follow the schedule and mrs meditation and drinks alcohol herod tessera
what she will do and suzuki as he said
everybody deserves making their best effort
and that darwin me to this invention will be done several del removed to teach him make him fall the ribs and since over she said
sometimes
simon has found the spirit of the worse even though they met fellow in the letter of the rules
and suzuki roshi said and the director said well will be better prepared than ever the was too
and since a person said who asked that will be best

i guess that ended the discretion
and
isn't so remarkable the says oversee camp david here and then
david for others railroad raise
knows the one person who said we moved to archive says durations lectures an hour isn't that a similar nine there's little tiny
tiny tiny tape recorders some of them are on toby recruiters shouldn't we will move to archive days will behaviors and reel to reel tapes never been put and in a digital
and murder of his life where to preserve some liberation teaching

i will never stay when i agreed with the staff
the james had to leave
they don't know what
james would have done
if he'd been able to continue practicing here

so in a suzuki roshi sad
the know people's heads
he sat in my heart he said david's heard
you know so many people who say their hearts and he knew their height
he knew our hearts
and them in a river
especially in those those like misfits in a route james palm somehow room mate
agnes misfits are bandits and the there
each of us an array is somebody have been misled and something of a bandit
us are you know
perfect beans

so you know i was seven year when mining
in the baptist period
nineteen eighty four
and i bowed at the altar did jane doe
fatima suit that away from message i sat down facing out and said well
what shall i do today
what should a project should i had for myself so far in my bed
count my breath focus and concentration focus on mindfulness focus on generosity
when should ever gone today
he websites i'm going to have a little kind of project for yourself then you can kind of keep track of how were we doing
and you can find something wrong i read game and entertaining willamette and you know that you need to work out and we have been a focus for yourself and
can we help for
and then i'm a lot of of several years i've been percent of that point for nineteen years i'd arrived as the head teacher

and that sam's thinking back when whether i work on this morning maybe i should work on my posture
can concentrate and so inept straighten that's what the japanese teachers talk about take care of a bastard took care of her murderer
and then
i had this dad
when i just tax rates and sad that some warmth and kindness
and before i know that even just hearing that that the to so pouring down my face
in a river and sad said it's a bad time

keeping busy with a lot of other projects you know
and it's a bad time you
finally agreed to sit with me
to have me sit with you
and then
so i stand during this practice intention what's since a better than
trying to be mindful of trying to concentrate
i've tried to sit up straight
and then caregiver she was the abbot of sense and i read them so about a month later he came down to visit
i went to see him and dose and kind of you have started doing a new practice known as to just chatting that's inside with some warmth and kindness is that okay is that sam
in calgary is he
if you know i mean i'd
since so carefully so exactly so precisely
mm he had a kind of deadpan way of talking sometimes
read
for twenty years i tried to do this as in a zen master dogan
before i realized there was no such thing
and at that boy read on schedule
i've been seventh a mountain years

i can stop trying to do this as an undergrad and in the same perfect says in
i can stay
i'm soon
as myself

and i've turned out to be in are just beginning
home
so in this week minute know i am fm cardroom dad and monday night
right nine pm carbon metal sculptor who would add an artist
and then
he reverted back to back the troops from the in fairfax he his raspberry hoods does but binding
come on his lungs step because i've been
breathing in fumes from matter welding
i have never ventured over blancos and mind turned them to
something solid red and eleven because he was born the fumes from his coun
for years and years
i it turns out is dangerous
oh because said labour day i wouldn't do it anyway
angela as each of us i know cause an extraordinary person
and i've found out in a while i was at the hospitals and seen him a and i were talking iras
touching and while i have my hand and answer soda the back of his neck the type of his chest
you can see the manager going up there amount of oxygen in his bed
i nap no presence
can this hybrid going down
and then he was drifting up and that millionaire tagging and she toby
no cause parents were both alcoholics
i'm a car as protein his parents were an automobile accident his mother was driving and his father was killed
thirteen
then who took care of his mother
through high school
then she died
and who became an airbag
he was alcoholic for about an intel
oh it must be known terrorists low thirties
can i don't know settled bet you know he simply happened he decided to become sober
and instead of going to immigrants and coincidentally was the other than like through doors from as has ever in it's seven
so who go every morning at seven through those down
and he became you know eventually a sponsor for others
i wanted to tell up the stairs
about these of pupil
and it's a bedtime from in stab so i'll try to keep pace
i promised
and
but whenever people that have been one of car sponsors in
i forget his name old tamar something that
in his sponsors and this other man's wife had died
and he was terribly distraught
tebow rep said taboo said
and he said to have said screw it
i'm in get shit faced drunk
i will go to the a bad i mean worked in the rado and go over some of those buyers i used to go to
so he went to the greyhound bus depot and send a failing go on the mess tibetan about out
the best was kind of dirty
didn't smell very good the windows were kind of daily and who felt right at home
and the best step somewhere along highway one or one around ignacio maybe
and young woman that on the best
twenty two twenty three years heard pretty rad dressed
and she looked up and down the best and she saw him sitting there and she rocked down the best to him and she said there are ten you with the speaker had my first a meeting haven't changed my life
and i wanted to tell you
so the next step he got out and took a taxi
sometimes in a small miracles happen
and simpson appears in our lives that serves as

and when i was at the hospital
there is another man member with why we're having his fifties
you've been offended cause for years and men and women
another and they have to step and just to have family coming to the has been a because he had so many friends who may a coming to see him
so he was sitting there and he'd tell us a better when he first went to a
he lives are so
he's dabbled in a better week later committed suicide after just talked to him she was about forty and she his head various problems and she committed suicide
and we said here know with all of this and with our armed struggles and difficulties
and with our on know hearts
and that bannon said that when he first entered an era there was an assembly said bremen know said man in the mission group in the mission a
his name has been to should go meet him
so whoever ever been made to move the overburden and then his first name is brendan and then the other man's name is something like frank aloysius daniel home and and
i'm really not a man and they will go that though became fans
and the other and was it
briggs support the under younger brandon
and then the other women was basic and in the hospital and seem to be rather no death and the young bannon said i was seven and one side of the bed and i was saying to him ben him
here you can let go now you can let go
turn your life over to allow higher power you can let go and i will ever said of the verb though is that hobo tailpiece military same feminine we need to fight fight fight
good to him i mean of the bed we can make our it's okay
the fact you've gotta find it find it struggled through
and then when the next though it had a remarkable kind of a gathering sitting up in bed and go covering his face and
when brennan is visit them and said you know you have just so great about this is amazing that looks so right i am so sorry i told you to let go
i was just so wrong for his and the other bannon said i did that go

how
sometimes and loving girl is just the right thing you know do not struggle enter that life flow through you
i'm sorry i didn't know
enough and to keep james here
and so important for us to have a practice practice and a community and friends and support
oh poor you know because it's equally challenging to be a human being
so thank you for doing this been here and practicing blessings