Good evening, it's awfully nice to be here, I'm very happy to be here at Tessahara with all of you. So many familiar faces and it's such a wonderful place for us to practice together. Tonight I'd like to talk about, among other things, since I don't seem to focus all that well on the subject at hand, the perfection of wisdom. So I'm actually starting with some lines of poetry from Rumi, a couple short lines.

[01:16]

One is, don't go where you think you want to go, ask the way to the spring. The other is, you miss the garden because you want a stray fig, a small fig from a random tree. You miss the garden because you want a small fig from a random tree. I mention this actually thinking it has something to do with the perfection of wisdom. So we'll see if it connects for you. The line about the fig, we tend to be rather focused on some kind of something that would

[02:17]

do something for us. We tend to be looking for something, looking for enlightenment, looking for love, looking for joy, looking for happiness, and it tends to be rather specific. We think we would know it when we saw it, but in the meantime we can be in the middle of a garden and not realize how much beauty surrounds us. Beauty and fruit and flowers, fresh air, rich earth, it's all here. But we're busy looking for something. If we come here to Tassajara, it's usually something, among other things, something spiritual. And, you know, if it's not what you were looking for, then it becomes useless.

[03:19]

Toss it aside. It wasn't what you were looking for. You know, we can go a long time in our life this way without much in the way of nourishment because what's coming our way isn't the one thing that we were looking for. Maybe wonderful, beautiful, any number of things, but it's not what we were looking for. So this is also similar to don't go where you think you want to go, you know, ask the way to the spring. And where we think we want to go often is anywhere but here. Somehow here, this moment isn't quite good enough, isn't quite picturesque enough or serene enough or calm enough or spiritual enough, energetic, whatever.

[04:21]

So, where we think we want to go is somewhere else. A Dogen says, Supreme Perfect Enlightenment is like viewing flowers or the moon and not wishing for more color or brightness. You know, even if it's something quite wonderful, it could be better. So, we think we want to go there. So, Rumi's advice is don't go where you think you want to go, ask the way to the spring. The spring is quite refreshing, tasty, cleansing, and you know, in our tradition in Zen, we could say the spring is, you know, very close to here, in fact, we're sitting right in it, so don't drown, you know.

[05:25]

And since you're already there enjoying the spring or sitting in the spring, why not splash about and enjoy the water. So, Tassajara for us is like this spring and we can splash about and enjoy, you know, being here. This is also, by the way, similar to, you know, a friend of mine said, if you want to stop being depressed, think of your most important favorite dream for your life and let go of it. And then the next thing that comes up, let go of it. And the next one, let go of it.

[06:27]

If you don't have that dream to compare your present life to, you know, what's there to be depressed about? We get depressed when we compare the spring, the garden, you know, to the dream we have, where we want to go, where we think we want to go, that place that would make all the difference. And when we compare our life to where we were going to get to, it looks pretty miserable. So, if you let go of your dream, you disable the mechanism by which you could compare and find the present time unfortunate or depressing. Same idea. Now, to talk about perfect wisdom, I want to, you know, start with telling you, reminding you, you know, traditionally, wisdom in Buddhism is to, one way of talking about wisdom is to recognize the three marks of conditioned existence.

[07:34]

The three marks are impermanence or transiency, suffering, dukkha, and no-self. In the sutra, it says, usually, you know, we overlook these three marks. We think, you know, we think we can find permanence and happiness, ease. We think we can find permanence where, in a situation where things are transient, we think we can find ease where things are impermanent and suffering and changing. We think we can establish a self where there's no self. So, we go on, in that sense, you know, various wild goose chases, chasing after things. It's a lot of fun. There's some good drama to it. I think of transiency, you know, as, you know, you could say that another meaning of transiency

[08:45]

that's emphasized in Zen is there's nothing to attain. In a certain sense, there are plenty of things to attain, but, you know, none of them are going to, frankly, none of them are going to last. Anything that you could attain and recognize that you'd attained it, you know, pretty soon won't be there, rather immediately. How do you know it's an attainment, you know? Are you calmer than you used to be? Are you less angry? Are you more angry? Are you less discouraged, you know? We have to measure in some way to notice whether we've attained something. It's all just stuff that's changing. So, there couldn't be anything that we could get and keep and have and hold on to. And now, I've got it. And these days, I think of suffering. The truth of suffering is the truth that nothing can be controlled.

[09:48]

I don't know about you, but I kind of wish it could, you know. I'd like to be able to control my mind or my body or my feelings anyway. I don't know, you know, maybe even yours too, you know. Because, you know, some of you have some pretty objectionable feelings as far as I can tell. Actually, or at least from your own point of view, you know. But anyway. And so, what can we control, you know? And our capacity, you know, the idea that we can control things is way beyond any possibility of control. You know, that we can control the next moment, that we can control our thoughts, that we can control our feelings, that we can control sensations, that we can control what happens, what people say, what they don't say, how they look at us. You know, why are you looking at me like that? And, you know, why don't you respect me? And, you know, people don't support me enough.

[10:52]

How do you know? You know, you've got some indication, you know, and you can't get them to change. So anyway, you know, our life is kind of out of control. Point number two. And then three, you know, no self I kind of think of these days as reality is unthinkable. You know, aside from whether, you know, we can't find a self, so there's no one to tame. There's no one to do the taming. There's no way to improve. There's no way to get anywhere. But all of our thoughts like that then are, you know, thoughts we think we have various concepts.

[11:53]

So, in fact, all the concepts are, you know, limited. The things that we could do or, you know, we could become and how we knew what we were in the first place. It's just kind of tentatively speaking. It's always a jump from, you know, this morning when you said that I became angry to I must be an angry person. I guess I don't belong here at Tassajara. These people here are hopeless. So we can think any number of things and it just started with, you know, this morning for, you know, at one point I was angry or I was frustrated or I was disappointed. And then, you know, worlds of meaning come out of that about who I am and who these people are and what Tassajara is and what Zen practice is.

[12:54]

And we have a wonderful story. And then we think, oh, I need to change the story. I need to get a different story because I don't like this one. Isn't it good? And then we can go around and see if like make sure that I don't get angry because then that would show I've got a different story now. And if you're trying not to get angry, then you'll make yourself very small and contained. And, you know, we're not stupid people. So, you know, something inside you will get mad about being cooped up like that and, you know, break out when you're a little tired or stressed, you know, just because you're trying not to be angry and you're going to keep it all contained. Just like if you go about your life and you're going to, you know, not have desire. So, let's be serious. This is spiritual place. Well, you know, again, you know, we're not stupid. Our mind isn't, you know, without its resources. So, it will look somewhere else for delight and joy because you've set it up so you can't have it here.

[13:56]

This is a spiritual place. Better not enjoy meditation. Better get somewhere. Better work hard at it. You know, shouldn't have any pleasure. So, you know, our being will find out where to go for these things that we're excluding from our life. Anyway. Isn't it fortunate? Because if it was just up to us, we'd just have a nice narrow little life. See, beautiful little picture. That's why some people say, you know, nice art is an oxymoron. That's nice. Pretty. That's why some people, when they come to Green's and they see Edward Avedisian's paintings on the wall, it offends them. You know, because they're not nice.

[14:57]

And actually, Edward's art, he made it a point that, you know, it impacted on you viscerally. So, a lot of people are offended if something impacts on them viscerally because that's a no-no, you know, to have a visceral impact here or elsewhere. But anyway, you see how I end up going off? I'm... So, the perfection of wisdom. Talked a little bit about wisdom. Bringing into view the three marks of conditioned existence. So, the citrus says, you might think it's a beautiful bowl, you get it up to the counter, you're getting out your money to pay for it, and then you notice it has these three holes, it's not going to hold anything, stuff's going to leak out. Oh, maybe I won't buy after all. Anyway. The perfection of wisdom. The perfection of wisdom, you know,

[16:01]

is one of the six paramitas. It's the sixth paramita. The first is generosity, and then there's conduct or precepts practice, patience, vigor or energy, concentration and wisdom. And the idea of as perfection, you know, the paramita is translated as perfection, or it's translated literally as gone beyond, you know, generosity gone beyond, wisdom gone beyond. We say in the morning, wisdom beyond wisdom. It's also translated as that which carries you across the ocean of samsara to the other shore, nirvana. And usually what is said to be what makes it a perfection or what carries you across is that you don't keep track. If you're giving, you don't keep track of

[17:03]

I'm the giver, this is the gift, they're the one I'm giving it to, good for me. So there's not noticing or keeping track. This is what makes it a perfection. You know, so it's like Suzuki Rush used to say about precepts. If you practice, if you're trying to follow the precepts, you will break them. Because if you're trying to follow them, you will make yourself small and limit yourself and you will try to do just this and not that. And maybe some of this, but definitely not that. And then you'll be very careful. And this is a kind of, you know, coercion of yourself and you're kind of killing yourself. So you're already, you're breaking the precept by trying to follow them. So the other idea of the precepts is what about living from your true nature,

[18:05]

expressing your true nature, realizing and expressing your true self, your true heart. And so the idea is in doing this, you follow the precepts and it doesn't quite work out. You say, I'm sorry. I apologize. And this way you have the fullness of your life, you know, manifesting itself. Or Kadagiri Rush is saying, let the flower of your life force bloom. So similarly, anyway, this is, the perfection is, you know, that you're following the precepts without keeping track of following the precepts. You're practicing patience without reminding yourself how to do it. I should be patient now. If you say, I should be patient, it means you're not being patient and you don't feel like it. As soon as you say should anything, you know,

[19:06]

I should get up in the morning means I'm not getting up and I don't feel like it. No translation for you. No. And of course, if you have to get up, it's better if you choose to get up. If you just translate have to into I choose to, you know, a great step forward. Because if you feel like you have to, that's coercion, you know, and then, you know, why would you coerce yourself? Even the name of spiritual practice, choose to do what you do, not what, you know, you don't do what you have to do. Ah. Freedom. Liberation. Oh, the word is liberation around here. Liberation. Freedom. That's a different school. That's more mainstream. Anyway. So the perfection of wisdom in the perfection of wisdom sutra in 8,000 lines, the Buddha asked Subuddhi, would you explain, Subuddhi, to the Bodhisattvas here, the perfection of wisdom.

[20:07]

Would you explain to the Bodhisattvas how to stand in the perfection of wisdom and how to go forth and into the perfection of wisdom. And Subuddhi says that he would be happy to instruct the Bodhisattvas in the perfection of wisdom. But actually, he says, when I look very closely, I can't find anything to call the perfection of wisdom, nor can I find anyone to call, anyone or anything to call a Bodhisattva. I can't actually locate it to put the designation on there. So which Bodhisattva would I instruct in what perfection of wisdom? And then, you know, he says, if when a Bodhisattva hears this, the Bodhisattva's heart is not cowed nor stolid, does not despair nor despond, if she does not turn away or become dejected,

[21:07]

if she doesn't tremble, is not frightened or terrified, this is a Bodhisattva. Just this is the Bodhisattva, the great being, and this is the perfection of wisdom, and this is her instruction in the perfection of wisdom. Yet there's actually nothing, you know, that you could, no one to do it and nothing that you could actually get hold of and have as yours. And I think, you know, actually, you know, this is very refreshing and quite a wonderful spring because then, you know, if you hear this and you don't tremble or dismay, despair, despond, you know, aren't dejected, trembled, terrified, you know, then, you know, you can rest easy right here in the spring. You have nowhere to go

[22:09]

and nothing to attain. There's no better place to be than right here in your body, in your being, in this place and time. And you haven't missed anything. You're not missing anything. This is the great refreshment. And then we think, oh, but I, but what about all those stories, you know, about people who attain things? And then, you know, if they got into an argument with somebody, they said, but I'm enlightened. As you know, those people are a pain, you know. So further, you know,

[23:12]

Subuddhi explains that a normal person or an unskilled bodhisattva courses in the skandhas, in other words, keeps track of what I'm seeing. Is it more beautiful? Is it less beautiful? Courses in sights, sounds, you know, phenomena. Oh, what an unpleasant sound. Oh, what a pleasant sound. Why are they making that noise? Can I get them to stop it? So, you know, an unskilled bodhisattva courses in the skandhas and then courses in the production and stopping of the skandhas. The skandhas are sensory experience, feelings, perceptions, emotions or formative factors, impulses, thinking, and consciousness. Courses, so an unskilled bodhisattva courses in the skandhas. How am I doing with them? How are they coming out today? Better today? Worse? Am I getting somewhere?

[24:14]

Am I controlling things better? Am I realizing myself better? Am I becoming a better Buddhist? Am I getting somewhere in my practice? Have I attained it yet? Probably not. Oh, shucks. Darn it. And the skandhas would indicate this to you, you know, because if you were doing good, it would be quiet and peaceful. It wouldn't be noisy and rowdy. At least not in your own mind, you know. And then your feelings, you would have the pleasant ones and not the unpleasant ones. You wouldn't have that anger and rage and lust. You'd just have buoyancy and joy and equanimity and tranquility and all those wonderful things you've heard about. And you wouldn't have those thoughts, those mean thoughts of judging other people. You know, those wouldn't be around. You would have stopped those by now. So this is an unskilled bodhisattva or ordinary person courses in the skandhas. How am I doing with the skandhas? How am I doing at stopping them? Producing them? Stopping the bad ones?

[25:14]

Producing the good ones? The skandhas, coursing in the skandhas as a sign. A sign of how well I'm doing. How poorly I'm doing. I still haven't gotten it yet. Everything is changing. You're not going to be able to. Remember? But this is the unskilled bodhisattva coursing in the skandhas. The skandhas is a sign in the production of the skandhas in the stopping. I'll get rid of this anger stuff. I'll get rid of this depression. I'll get more of this. I'll get less of that. I can do it. I'm going forward in my life. And then, you know, courses in whether I'm coursing or I'm not coursing. Oh, I'm not really coursing. So then it says a bodhisattva who is skilled, you know, a skilled bodhisattva, does not course in the skandhas. Doesn't keep track of how am I doing with all these skandhas? Which ones are coming up? Which ones aren't coming up?

[26:16]

Which have I gotten? You know, if I stop the bad ones, if I produce the good ones, you know, the good thoughts, gotten rid of the bad thoughts, how am I doing at that? This bodhisattva doesn't keep track of any of this. Doesn't course in it. Doesn't course in the skandhas. Doesn't course in the production of the skandhas, the stopping of the skandhas, the skandhas as a sign of how well I'm doing, how well other people are doing, you know, where I've gotten to, where I haven't gotten to. Doesn't course in whether I course or I don't course. I course and I don't course. I neither course nor do I not course. Doesn't course in any of that. And then doesn't even make a point of noticing I'm not coursing. Doesn't that sound like letting the flower of your life force bloom? You know, or ask the way to the spring. This is refreshment. You wouldn't have to worry about all of this stuff. And what it means about you.

[27:16]

What a relief, you know. It's wonderful. And then, you know, we can be in the garden. Right here. Right now. In our own body. In our own being. And we can stop waiting for, you know, others to approve or accept or, you know, for forgiveness. We can forgive. We can be grateful. Whatever it is. As someone, I just, my next door neighbor used to be a dentist. Then she

[28:20]

had a little boy, baby. So now she just does TMJ. She got a specialty now and TMJ works one day a week. But in the meantime, on the side, you know, she does Tarot. So every year around my birthday I get a free Tarot reading. So it turns out that this year where I've been is sticking daggers in myself. In the Tarot they have cards of their sorts. And, you know, I can't blame her because I arranged the cards. You know, you get to arrange the cards yourself. And you work at them until you feel like they're, that's it. So where I've been is sticking daggers in myself. You know, being hard on myself. And, you know, where I'm headed this year is where I don't have to do that anymore, you know. Otherwise known as this

[29:22]

perfection of wisdom. And, you know, we have, when you stop sticking pins in yourself or swords, their pictures are so graphic too. All the swords have blood dripping off the end of them, you know. When you stop sticking swords in yourself, what's wrong with you, you know? You still haven't figured that out? Do you know what, you know, a friend of mine says, shame is should have already mastered everything. So that's a great dagger to stick in yourself. Still haven't figured that out? You haven't gotten that together yet? You still don't know how to do that? You still don't know how to communicate? These people are still upset with you? You know, you still can't balance your checkbook? You don't take the time? It's endless, you know. You can keep finding things that you haven't gotten around to mastering yet. I mean, I can. I don't know about you, but I'm good at it. I've done it for a long time. And, you know, the idea of sticking swords in yourself is that it would be helpful.

[30:22]

And that if you didn't do that, you wouldn't improve. You wouldn't have any reason to improve because, you know, the idea is that you would want to improve in order to get the swords to stop sticking, being stuck in you. But actually, of course, you just find new and more subtle or different things to stick swords in about. So you can stop, you know, we can stop doing this. I'm suggesting you stop sticking swords in. Stop keeping track, you know, of how well you're doing, how poorly. This is the perfection of wisdom. And it's very easy, you know, to go from I'm disappointed to I guess I just don't belong here. This is, this world isn't really a place for me. These people can't be trusted. You know.

[31:27]

These people are deceitful. And so we start thinking, you know, we have a whole world in our thought. And all it was, was, you know, I was, you know, if you go back to, if you can, when you get up into that mental kind of construct, if you go back to what you were feeling, what were you feeling that started all that? I was disappointed. This is like, you know, the Zen teacher, Suzuki Roshi, used to say, when you hear a sound, just hear the sound. Don't make a story out of it. Was it a motorcycle? Is it an airplane? Why are they making so much noise? Who are they? Don't they realize I'm sitting here? Just hear the sound and let it be sound. And similarly, if you let your feelings be feelings, you don't have to do the mental story about I guess I just don't belong. I guess I'm really such a miserable person. And all it was, was, I couldn't control my feelings. I thought if I really had it together,

[32:29]

I would never have to feel frustrated or disappointed ever again. You know, because I would be so masterful. Just go ahead and feel disappointed or frustrated and let it go at that. And then, you know, next moment is something else. By the way, I have a poem for you. I like poems. I have a poem by someone named Simeon the Theologian. He lived about a thousand years ago. It's a poem that's in the Enlightened Heart or one of those anthologies. Simeon the Theologian seems to be a Christian, so I've changed the language slightly to make it Buddhist. So, you know, we wake up inside rather than we wake up inside God. Just, we wake up inside. So, aside from that little change, you know, I changed the rest of the words, too.

[33:31]

You know, so that it's Buddhist rather than Christian, but, you know, it has the sensibility of the original poem. It's just not quite as orthodox Christian. So, it starts out, we wake up inside. We wake up inside all over our body. All over. Even every last hidden part. Even every last hidden part is realized as joy. And we become utterly real. We wake up inside where our whole body

[34:35]

all over, every most hidden part of it is realized as joy. And we become utterly real. And everything that is hurt, everything that we saw as hurt, damaged, maimed, ashamed, ugly, irreparably damaged is realized as whole, as lovely, and radiant with light. We awaken as the beloved with every last part of our body. We wake up

[35:39]

inside. We wake up inside with our whole body all over. Every most hidden part is realized as joy. And we become utterly real. And everything that is hurt, everything that we saw as dark, harsh, shameful, maimed, damaged, irreparably is realized as whole, as lovely, and radiant with light. We awaken as the beloved with every last part of our body. This sounds to me like the perfection of wisdom. No longer comparing this body, this place, this time

[36:40]

with some perfection and finding fault with it, with this time and place. It's a wonderful healing. It's a deep, refreshing spring. I'm looking forward to splashing about in this spring with all of you. Thank you.

[37:03]

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