I got three phone calls this week saying that I would be talking outside today, but that actually we weren't going to have the tent. And so next week there's supposed to be a tent. And somehow when I imagined talking outside, I imagined it would be very sunny and hot. I don't know why. I mean, how often is it sunny at Green Gulch? But I thought, oh my gosh, we'll all sit out here in the sun and roast. And it's turned out that it's cool instead. Anyway, I asked Norman before the talk if it was too late to ask him what to talk about. And he said, yes, it was. But what I thought I would talk about today is, well, it's one of my favorite expressions

[01:19]

of Suzuki Roshi's actually. Suzuki Roshi used to say sometimes, at least I remember him saying this, right? I mean, I don't know if he really used to say it or if I just remember him saying this, right? But he used to say, everything is perfect just as it is. But he would say, there's room for improvement. So, I think I tend to go on air on the side of everything is perfect just as it is. And then I don't always work so hard to make any improvements. You can get sort of lazy if you think it's perfect just as it is. And sometimes, I think in my talks, I tend to try to say something to you to give you the idea or convey something about what is this expression, everything is perfect just as it is, what is it about? And I've given a number of these talks.

[02:20]

I gave one one time, and then afterwards, a gentleman was very irate. And he said, you shouldn't say that to people, that things are perfect as it is, as they are, they won't make any efforts. There's terrible things in the world, and there's suffering and injustice, and people need to work harder to fix all those things. And he was very angry with me. So, I guess I need sometimes to emphasize more the second part of there's room for improvement. But when one gets obsessed with all the improvements that need to be made, it's very difficult to have in one's heart some sense of compassion or kindness or well-being or warmth. When we get obsessed with improvements, about improving ourself or the world, we'll often lose our, we won't have so much warmth.

[03:25]

We'll look around us and we'll see one thing after another, the problems and the imperfections and the annoyances, and then how discouraging that is, how upsetting that is, how painful it is. And if we wait, to have well-being, if we wait until things improve and are much better then, for our well-being, it will never come. So, if we look at, starting out, I mentioned about today and how I thought it would be

[04:28]

sunny while we all set out here, and now it's like this. So, shall we be unhappy about that? Should I be unhappy because I thought how nice it would be for it to be sunny? And now it's a little chilly and windy. So, is that good enough for you? Does that bring you happiness or unhappiness, the weather, the way it is? And what does it depend on, you know, does your happiness or unhappiness, will it depend on the weather? Yes. So here's an example, with the weather the way it is, I mean, can we still have in our

[05:32]

heart, can I still have warmth in my heart, and some well-being in myself, some sense of well-being. And to feel, to be able to feel the weather is actually to be well, is to have some well-being. When you stop feeling whether it's hot or cold, then you're pretty sick. Do you understand? So part of the sense of this idea of perfection is so-called, you know, everything is perfect. I don't know if that's a good way to say it, you know, but it's also like saying that, you know, finally our well-being or our freedom or vitality, our compassion, our kindness, it doesn't depend on externals.

[06:32]

It comes, you know, from our own practice or cultivation. We're not going to be able to control the weather, we're not going to be able to control the world. We're not going to be able to make everything right. And so in the meantime, we need to have some sense of our own worth and our own vitality and warmth, compassion. And I think, you know, certainly in terms of meditation, one of the basic ways or the most basic way is just to be with one's breath and to be able to enjoy and appreciate one's breath, to be able to be with it, to be able to be with one's own body with some sense

[07:39]

of warmth and compassion rather than some sense of trying to notice what's wrong and fix it before it gets any worse. You know, this is kind of endemic in our culture where we have a, you know, both in politics we had a president who said, you know, we have to watch out for the evil empire. Evil is somewhere out there and if we're not careful, the evil that's outside will impose its agenda on us. And so we should kill it before it does that. And this is also our idea then of disease. You know, when we have something infectious that gets into us, then we should kill it before it has its way with us. And we should kill it, you know, even though it may destroy us. You know, sometimes the medicine will be so strong that we are also hurt, the environment is also hurt. And in fighting the evil empire politically, you know, we harm the world too.

[08:43]

Anyway, sometimes this strategy may be effective, but what it means is that we see in that, with that kind of model, we see evil outside. We see things around us that are going to impose themselves on us. And then we will be, you know, we will have to submit. And shouldn't we be big and strong and fight these things off and subdue them so that they don't get to do that to us? And, you know, anyway, with this kind of model, we don't have so much of a sense of some basic kind of well-being. Following one's breath or being with one's body, sitting quietly, sometimes we can cultivate

[09:49]

some sense of well-being. And following the breath, which just the inhalation and the exhalation, and letting it, you know, letting an inhalation refresh us, letting an exhalation release us, release our tension. And if there's some part of the body that's stiff or tight or tense, letting the breath come into that part of the body, letting there be some rhythm of the breath in the area that's tight or in pain. So this is also a quality of bringing one's awareness to the object, not with the idea of subduing the object, but with the idea of spending time with the object or being with the object, being with what we otherwise might see as evil or painful or too cold or too windy. And bringing the awareness to things is a very, you know, it's a very powerful quality.

[10:56]

I'll tell you a poem I like a lot, and I use it often, so you may have heard me tell you before, but this is one of the sonnets to Orpheus, and in this case, the object is not your breath or your body, but the object is food. And there's a quality in this of what happens when you bring your awareness to the object with some sense of receiving the object fully and completely, or you could say giving yourself to the object fully and completely, and the quality of nourishment or well-being that's in this. So here's how the poem goes. Round apple, smooth banana, melon, gooseberry, peach.

[12:02]

How all this affluence speaks, death and life in the mouth. I sense, observe it in a child's transparent features while she tastes. This comes from far away. What miracle is happening in your mouth while you eat? Instead of words, discoveries flow out, astonished to be free. Dare to say what apple truly is. This sweetness that feels thick, dark, dense at first, then exquisitely lifted in your taste grows clarified, awake, luminous, double-meaninged, sunny, earthy, real. O knowledge, pleasure, joy, inexhaustible. Did you, could you hear that?

[13:20]

So in that, you know, part of the idea then of the well-being is just to receive something, some moment of experience without, you know, comparing it to some other moment. To be so wholly absorbed in a moment of experience that it can be this kind of healing and pleasure and joy because when we wait to pick and choose which objects we'll do that with, we separate ourselves again and again from our experience and from our well-being and from our real joy and health. So anyway, one of the improvements we can make is to...

[14:34]

is to be more aware and to practice being with our experience, you know, moment after moment. To try to be with our experience instead of rejecting our experience or someone else and considering something our enemy. But, you know, anyway, this also takes some common sense, doesn't it? We can't just put anything in our mouth. So we also need to discriminate and choose. The mind of meditation, you know, in meditation we're in a certain sense, you know, cultivating mind,

[15:42]

our quality of awareness, which is... we sometimes say, you know, big mind. Big mind is, you know, in a certain sense like space. We could say like space or we can say it's like the earth. Space in which everything happens, anything can happen. And the earth is, you know, anything can stand on the earth or the earth will receive anything. So, you know, our tendency is to set up one mind against another mind

[16:45]

and we try to create in our being, we try to create a mind or a body that can withstand the afflictions of the world and of the experiences we have that inflict themselves upon us. There was a magazine cover recently that said, Your body, friend, foe or total stranger? So we try to have a mind, a body that, you know, is our friend. And it doesn't work, you know, our body and our mind and, you know, sometimes it will be a friend, sometimes a foe and sometimes somebody we haven't even met yet. We wonder who is this? And when that happens, you know, we will want to get back or the mind or body we're used to, oftentimes. And what's wrong with me because I can't have the mind or body that I would like to have

[17:46]

or that I know as being me and that I'm comfortable with? What can I do? And some states of mind or, you know, when we have physical pains are almost, you know, intolerable or intolerable. And then what will we do? You know, shall we fight? Yeah, I find it very frustrating sometimes, you know. I don't know the way you are, but, you know, sometimes some objects, especially objects, I get really angry at objects because they don't do what I want them to. It seems, you know, that objects have a mind of their own. So glasses fall off the shelf and, you know, recently my computer, I turned on my computer and it wouldn't turn on.

[18:51]

It didn't do anything. And it's as though the computer says, you know, I'm feeling kind of down today and I think I'm going to go to the beach, you know, get lost. I don't care if you have work to do or not. And that's, you know, and at that time I think I would like to just assume, you know, if it would be, you know, especially if it would be of any help, I would like to just smash the computer into the tiniest little pieces, you know, the tiniest little smithereens, just completely pulverize it like powder, you know, the finest kind of dust. And it's basically because the computer won't do what I want it to, you know. This is the great insult, you know. And somehow I restrain myself. I don't know. It doesn't seem like it would do much good, you know.

[19:57]

This is basic kind of Buddhist teaching, you know. Don't think that that will solve your problems. You know, it will take care of it in that particular computer. You know, that particular computer will never do that to you again. But other computers might. So you haven't solved the basic problem of, you know, why do things do this to me? I mean, I'm a nice person, you know. The person I took it to to fix the computer, well, it's a friend of a friend of mine. And it turned out to be very easy. He said, I just had to remind it of who it was. He put a little disk in there and said, you know, here's who you are.

[21:00]

Here's the way you operate. And it said, oh, I remember. Okay. Anyway, I'm trying to start. I'm trying to talk a little bit about, you know, about improvement in some, you know. How do we make real improvement? And part of this is instead of, you know, setting up one mind against another mind, or which is like my mind is upset because the computer doesn't work. I've set up a mind that is going to be upset when computers don't work. You know, this is the kind of mind that, so to speak, I've set up,

[22:05]

either knowingly or unknowingly. But here's this mind that I'm going to be upset if the computer doesn't function. This is going to make me mad because, and, you know, if you don't do what I tell you to do, I'm going to be angry with you. So you should do what I tell you to do so I won't be angry with you. You know, if you know what's good for you. So this is one way of getting your way or attempting to get your way. You know, it's a strategy. But then do you get to have some sense of well-being? Do you get to have some sense of wholesomeness in your life? Do you have actual happiness in your life? Or do you spend all of your time being angry at something that hasn't done what you wanted it to? So do you actually get what you want? See, this is the question. So anyway, the mind of meditation, when I'm using this expression, mind of meditation or big mind, this is a mind that can be with things.

[23:08]

And then over time, by being with something, we find out little by little what to do with it. It's a little bit like taking the apple into your mouth and tasting it and chewing it, and then our body has to digest it and take from the apple what our body can use and we get rid of the rest. We let go of something. So we have to take in many experiences, experiences we like and don't like, and digest them over time and find out what is of some essence or use in our experience. And then what is to be let go. The tent is flapping in the wind. Birds chirping.

[24:35]

Dog barks. [...] Partly I was reminded about this kind of big mindedness,

[25:43]

because I went a couple of weeks ago to the workshop at Spirit Rock on holotropic breathing with Stan and Christina Groff and Jack Kornfield was teaching meditation and leading some meditation. For those of you who aren't familiar with holotropic breathing, it's where you practice hyperventilating for a while. Actually it's, and they have music going. It's one of those things like they say, you know, in California, Marin County. But one person, you do it in partners. So one person is the breather and the other person is the sitter. So the person, and then there's some facilitators and then there's the workshop leaders. And Christina selects the music and Stan walks around and sort of checks in on people and stuff. So the music is going, a lot of it is sort of drumming music. And then you have a simple kind of relaxation and then you're encouraged to breathe deeply and fully and energetically at your own pace.

[26:53]

And this tends to be kind of on one hand energizing and on the other hand kind of disorienting. So people have many different kinds of experiences and different states of mind arise. Some are very blissful and some are very disturbing. And all of this can happen in this space of this room. And it's pretty interesting. You know that this room, we create in that kind of situation, it's as though the room or the practice is a kind of container for whatever experience arises. And we don't have to kill it or we don't have to do anything to the experience that's arising. We can just receive it. This is a lot like meditation. And it's interesting how fully they can tolerate what they refer to as non-ordinary states of mind.

[28:00]

You know there's still a certain kind of rule like you don't get to act out ritual murders or anything. You know literally you can act them out symbolically but not literally and that sort of thing. So there are still limits but you see within those, because there are those limits actually we can tolerate or accept and experience many minds. And we don't set up a mind that's going to withstand those experiences and not allow those experiences. And normally we have to go through our life very carefully so that those experiences don't happen. And to a certain extent we have to keep our energy turned down and our well-being and vitality turned down or we might, because if we turned it up, like you turn it up by breathing quickly and deeply and rapidly, it turns up the energy. And then things in our body start to come loose that have been long held.

[29:07]

And meditation does this but it's much more subtle, much less dramatic. But it turns out to be, feels very healing to be able to have a kind of container so to speak, within which any experience or mind can arise and we find out how to be with it by actually being with it. And then what to do with it or make of it. We digest it over time. Anyway, I'm going to tell you a story about the story of the Buddha.

[30:36]

Zen teacher Tozan, before he was going to die, he called his community of monks together. And he said to them, I've created a useless name for myself in this world. Who can remove it for me? And none of the monks answered. But a young novice came forward and said, well, tell us your Dharma title. What is your Dharma title? And Tozan said, it's already faded away. Another monk then came up and said, Master, you're sick. Is there someone who's not sick?

[31:46]

And he said, yes, there is someone who's not sick. The monk said, will he visit you? And Tozan said, I'm allowed to see him. And the monk says, well, will you see him? And he said, Tozan replied, when I see the one who is not sick, I don't see the one who's sick. And then he said, when I let go of this shell, where will you go to find me? You know, where will any of us go to find our teacher, our well-being,

[32:51]

or our sustenance, our vitality? Where will we go? Then one morning, Tozan shaved his head and he put on his robes and he sat down and he announced that he would sit in meditation and pass away. All the monks were, it's said, were very distraught. And some of them, many of them were crying. And Tozan was sitting there and then after a while, he uncrossed his legs and he stood up. And he said, you know, you're making kind of a big commotion in to-do. If you're going to be a Buddhist, you shouldn't attach yourself to externalities.

[33:53]

This is the real self-cultivation. Then he asked the head monk to prepare, they have a kind of feast for the ignorant. And this went on for a week. And then at the end of the week, they have a big dinner to offer food to the, you know, for offering food to the ignorant. They had a big dinner. And after dinner, Tozan said, so Buddhists, when they're alive, they work hard. But when they're dead, when they die, they're at rest.

[34:57]

Why would you grieve? A Buddhist doesn't do something heedlessly. Then the next morning, he took a bath and he put on his robes. And he said, again, he said goodbye to the monks. He said, you created a big stir last time. Let's see. And, you know, he said, he didn't say exactly, but, you know, he said, let's try it again. Anyway, he then sat in meditation and passed away.

[35:59]

So, where will you go to, you know, for your sustenance, for your well-being, for your vitality, for your warmth and compassion? Where will you turn? Already you have, so to speak, you have big mind that will receive any experience and digest it. This big mind is not a mind that, you know, we say sometimes you have it. You know, each of us has big mind, but big mind is not something that we have as though it was, you know, possession. It's mind that doesn't come and doesn't go. How could we, how would we know whether we had it or didn't have it? So,

[37:27]

Anyway, I do hope this morning sitting here for a few minutes, you have now and again perhaps a taste of well-being and wholesomeness, and you can appreciate your own vitality and warmth and wholesomeness, and your capacity to endure and digest and make use of the experiences in your life. So you don't end up, you know, pulverizing computers or, you know, other kinds of foolish things. Okay? Thank you. Penetrate every being and place.

[39:20]

Be free. Be free. Oh, you really record this too? Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. We're indoors again. Well, if anybody has any comments or questions that you would like me to respond to, you're welcome to bring up something.

[40:27]

How's the computer? Well, as far as I know, it's sitting quietly today and meditating. You never know, of course, when you go away what goes on in your absence. Can I ask a question? Yes. Since the computer story came up, so when things are not going well, of course we have many occasions that things are not going well. In this country, in this culture, people seem to actually spend more energy, try to work it out or fix it or force the energy to make things work the way we want. In the Orient, what I was told was to sit back. But unfortunately, when you sit back, the thing doesn't move at all.

[41:38]

So what would happen in this kind of civilized situation, civilized culture, the thing has to be done to some point. Then, when you don't do anything, more like let things settle, then society does not function. So, the question is, do you sit back and do nothing or do you do something? I'm not saying nothing, but you are saying, of course, pounding on doesn't do anything. But I took the computer to a friend and he fixed it. So I did do something. I mean, if I just asked the computer to please be nicer to me, I probably wouldn't have done anything.

[42:41]

Well, you are lucky that at least that was a machine with the intelligence. But when we are dealing with another human being... Well, wherever we are, it won't be obvious what is the appropriate and effective action to take. And a lot of the time, we will have both those tendencies. One tendency is to... We may be reactive in some way, we may be emotional or whatever. We may also sort of want to sit back, either because we think we don't know what to do,

[43:47]

or we will do the wrong thing, or we will make things worse if we try to do something, so we don't do anything. And it may take us some time, but if we... I think that's why, for me, I like the analogy of actually being willing to have problems is important. And then to spend some time with them. And then little by little, we will try one thing and then try something else. And over time, it's why, you know, theoretically anyway, marriages are useful. There's a good context to see, do you do nothing or do you try to make the other person over? What do you do? Well, you live with each other over time. And then partly you do something and partly you don't.

[44:48]

And you work it out for those particular circumstances and the particular people involved. And even then, sometimes you like it and sometimes you don't. So what's to be said, you know? I think the... You know, it's just hard to know. As I mentioned for myself, I... You know, when I started meditating, I thought, well, if I meditate for a while, I'll be able to do all kinds of things or whatever. It will make my life much better. And, you know, not much has changed. You know, practice meditation. You end up listening to... there's somebody who seems to have a lot of complaints

[45:51]

and somebody who seems to have a lot of pain and you have to listen to it all. This is called the bodhisattva of compassion. The person who sits there and listens to all the complaints that this other person has. Both of which are, you know, theoretically me. You know, right? So this is wonderful. But then, actually, I took some... You know, I went and took some... I mean, I've done over the years various sort of communication skills, workshops. Sort of thing, you know? Well, you learn a lot. And one thing I learned, if nothing else, is that in order to communicate, generally speaking, it's better to open your mouth. Because I thought, you know, if people were really cared, they'd figure out what I wanted or needed and thought and felt, you know? They're just kind of intuitive because they loved me so much. And it was disappointing to me that they didn't figure it out

[46:51]

without my having to open my mouth. And actually having to open my mouth and say what I believed or what I wanted or what I wished for or what I liked or what I didn't like. And to actually communicate various things. You know, it changes things when you start communicating something. And, gee, there's the whole thing right there of, you know, developing some good communication skills. I mean, certainly our society could use that too. And part of a basic kind of communication skill is kind of a lot like mindfulness and meditation. Like, I notice you're angry. And I feel this or I think that. It's just noticing. And it doesn't mean you get the world to change, but you notice things and you share what you've noticed with one another. What you've observed. I have observed, you know? And when you observe and you think and you feel and you wish,

[47:54]

those are all, you know, we're the expert on it. And the fact that we communicate something doesn't mean that the rest of the world will do what we want. But at least we've done, you know, we've made some effort to let the world know what our thoughts and feelings and beliefs and wishes are. And that in itself is a wonderful, you know, effort that we can make. I have to do this with my daughter. My daughter's 19 now. And, you know, it's pretty obvious from the minute she was born that she had a mind and body of her own. And that I wasn't gonna be able to tell her what to do. And not only that, what was even better is that she was much better than anything I could have imagined. As far as telling her, you know, like, I mean, it was so, from the time that she was born, she was such a buoyant, happy person.

[48:56]

And people now say, oh, well, you did a good job. I say, you know, well, I hope that I just didn't ruin her. I didn't do something to, you know, sabotage her because... But anyway, now that she's 19, you know, every so often I get sort of parental kinds of fatherly ideas, you know, sort of thing, you know, having this teenage daughter. But, you know, she has her own, she lives, you know, somewhere else. She doesn't live with me. And, you know, I don't know what she does all the time. You know, thank God. Anyway, in a certain way, it's sort of... On one hand, it's sort of scary because I just, I'm concerned about her. And on the other hand, yeah, you know, thank God she's got to do this sometime. And it's her life. But, gee, things are scary these days. You know, and so I get these fatherly, you know, fatherly kinds of things, you know,

[50:01]

what with AIDS and drugs and, you know, there's lots of stuff going on. And so I find that, you know, I figured that all I can do, the best I can do is like express them. And then, you know, we understand each other about it now because she says she appreciates my, you know, fatherly advice. Even though, you know, she knows I say, you know, like, you do what you want, but, you know, here's my, here's what I think and what I feel and what I hope and what I wish. And then you do with it what you want, you know. But the fact is, I have to, if I don't say anything about it because I'm worried that, you know, what her reaction will be, then... But it was interesting. Once she became a teenager, I found that I had to start just expressing to her, here's what I think, here's what I, you know, here's what I want. And then, you know, obviously you're another person. You have to do what you think. Or, you know, you live your own life.

[51:02]

You make your own mistakes. And I'm not going to be able to keep you from making all your mistakes. But to me, that's a very basic kind of effort is communicating. And... there are all sorts of differences in communication. And... you know, one time when... I don't know how I got started in this or if it replies to your question exactly. But to me, it's sort of interesting. But, you know, years ago... Laughter Years ago, my daughter one time was, you know, at night. She was staying with me and she was crying. She was crying when she was going to sleep. And I said, you know, what's wrong? And she said, my mother thinks I'm obnoxious. Laughter And, you know, so... So... You know, there's a difference between saying, look, I'm busy. Please don't bother me. And you're so obnoxious. Laughter Do you know?

[52:03]

And usually we want to put our communication on the other person. So instead of saying, I'm really busy. I'm kind of under stress to get something done here. I would really appreciate it. If you're not to bother me now. We say, you're so obnoxious, you're bothering me all the time. Why are you such a pest? You know, which is a clear communication, you see? And so even that kind of effort to just make a clear communication and acknowledging your own part in it. And we don't have to call somebody obnoxious. No, we just have to say, what's happening with me and what I want. And then, you know, the communications are... Various things will be required in communications to sort of... But anyway, that's sort of basic level of it. And to me, that's an important kind of action to take. And it's true with our government and our world in various ways. That, you know,

[53:07]

a couple of years ago, I wrote a letter to George Bush about the Persian Gulf War. And I didn't write it because it's going to do anything, right? It's going to say what I have to say regardless of what happens. So that kind of effort is pretty important for us. So when I talk about, you know, not doing or things being perfect, I don't mean that we should sit back and not do anything, but that we try to, you know, express our truth and that we're also willing, in a certain sense, you know, to suffer and grow as opposed to trying to get the world to behave in a way that I don't have to suffer. Do you understand what I mean?

[54:07]

I mean, I think clearly, for instance, like if... Oh, gosh. I'll just go on and on, and I'm not very organized, as you can tell, right? Just one thing sort of leads to another and I keep talking. What's the next question? I'm sort of like the politician, right? You ask a question and then it's just sort of whatever he wants to say anyway, right? I thought that it was really nice to be outside without being confined in a tent and you were sitting under a tree. It was very nice. You know, you looked out at the hills It was no colder than this in the window. That's for sure. There's a hand.

[55:20]

Oh, yes. Do you remember what you were saying? I like what you were saying. You were at a point. Oh, just now? Yeah. Oh, well, I was going to start talking about the precepts. You know, we have five... In Buddhism, there's sort of five precepts which are good for... When you take the pre-sternation, you take the pre-sternation and you take ten precepts and now actually when we do lay ordination we take the ten precepts but it used to be that lay people when we had lay initiation as a lay Buddhist and you receive a Buddhist name then you take the five precepts and the five precepts the first is not to kill and they're expressed differently but sometimes we say a disciple of the Buddha does not kill or a disciple of the Buddha does not take life willfully or a disciple of the Buddha does not take life heedlessly you know, so there are various expressions of it. You know, the second one is a disciple that

[56:24]

there's a commitment not to steal or not to take what is not given and the third is not to commit sexual misconduct and the fourth is not to... not to lie and the fifth is not to be intoxicated and these can be elaborated in various ways and it's been interesting for me over the years to think about them and if you... you know, it's pretty obvious though that in a certain sense there must be some positive way to say all these things, right? Rather than just if you just sort of said to do all you spend all your time not doing any of these things you know, this is different than sort of like cultivating life you know, or practicing patience

[57:25]

or practicing generosity you know, things come down to you know, it's one thing to think about the world and what do I do about homeless and what do I do about this when you have a cup of tea can you actually do you actually have the generosity and kindness of heart to open yourself and receive you have to give yourself to the tea and the tea will give itself to you you know and do you take any time to do that? you know, just at that very simple level to refresh yourself and to give your you have to give your attention to the cup of tea you have to give your attention you know, to the taste and you have to open yourself and then you you drink the cup of tea and that's why, you know at certain times we practice like having silent meals and then you notice that

[58:26]

the food is somehow the whole meal is much more you know, refreshing and nourishing than it often is and and you know, so there are various kinds of levels of what it is to kill or what it is to you know, to steal or to take what isn't given and then there's so there's at a very there's some sense that you're in terms of your own life can, you know, something nourish you can you receive something can you be generous enough with your friend or with yourself do you ever listen to yourself do you take the time to listen to yourself you know, meditation is like that and sometimes therapy can be like that and certainly relationships you know, they take time they take a kind of effort to sustain them and to nurture them and partly what happens you know, partly the precepts are a way also to say you know, don't don't think

[59:27]

don't rely on stealing, don't rely on and stealing isn't just stealing but it's like in a certain sense we're talking about don't rely on possessions don't rely on don't think that there is such a thing as having and not having and don't think your state of mind depends on having or not having but this doesn't mean you shouldn't have anything no, but you need to but we need to be sort of aware of the world and what we're trying to the kind of situation we're trying to create I mean, so and don't think that you know, sexual misconduct will be the solution to your problems I mean, it's pretty obvious that you know, in situations of of sexual abuse somebody certainly thought that the sexual abuse was the solution to their problem you know, here's somebody who's suffering person is suffering

[60:31]

they're in pain and the sexual abuse abusing somebody else is going to relieve that for them so we always have to keep you know, and any of us are capable of any of those things we're all capable of doing terrible things in our life and causing terrible suffering so what are we going to do? you know, and if we say well then I won't do anything no, the question is like how can I so I have to try to promote life I have to, I want and it's not just I have to it's I want to, I want to promote life I want to promote well-being I want to promote healthy relationship I want to promote wholesomeness I want to develop and cultivate my good-heartedness and part of developing and cultivating my good-heartedness is that I encourage others to develop and cultivate but what that's going to mean

[61:34]

at some point is that actually you know, because we're not resorting to these kind of quick fixes or quick solutions or easy solutions you know, these precepts are there because these are the simple remedies that we as human beings will tend to turn toward or rely on or resort to in order to not suffer in our own life because I don't want to suffer because I don't want to feel what I'm feeling I'll steal something you know, because I don't want to have the pain that I have I'm going to abuse somebody because I don't like the way I feel I'm going to get intoxicated I'm going to take drugs I'm going to watch and it's wonderful Thich Nhat Hanh's extended this now to television, newspapers and it's not just my pain I don't have to have my suffering whether it's food or television

[62:34]

you know, we start consuming all these things and then I don't have to experience anymore so part of what we're talking about what Buddhism seems to me is like this willingness to have some problems that we're willing to have the problems we have and that we're going to try to live with them over time the pain and suffering in the world and in my own life even though I may not recognize it and that I will work to have a wholesome life and to find ways to relate to the problems and difficulties and pain of the world that are wholesome and healthy and it's possible to do but in the meantime we're with a situation which we don't know what to do and there's some, you know and it's uneasy and I'm in the dark and I'm upset and I'm frustrated

[63:36]

I don't know what to do and in a certain sense we have to, you know we're tolerating, we're practicing a kind of patience or generosity to tolerate that long enough till we can kind of come up with what to do and we can hit on what to do or stumble upon what to do and eventually, you know over time we'll do something and that's the kind of difference between deciding that I'm going to live with this rather than I mean there's also limits to that obviously, you know deciding you're going to live with something but, you know in situations if you were if someone was being abused you don't advise the person you know because we all have our limits but in making, you know

[64:39]

and I often sort of think as far as that goes I can understand why people don't want to live with me I wouldn't live with myself either if I had a choice about it because I seem like a really difficult person to live with you know I mean, I know myself pretty well I know I'm pretty difficult to live with you know, so I wouldn't do it if I had a choice but, you know but it still makes a difference when you decide you know, the more you choose to be the person that you are or to be, you know to be willing to live with the person that you end up being and to cultivate yourself you know will you have this body? will you have this mind? will you have this life? will you? and will you have the pain and suffering that goes with it? and don't think that you you know are going to have a situation

[65:40]

where you don't have the pain and suffering just like in my poem today not my poem, Rilke's poem but it becomes yours when you memorize it, you know this affluence you know, the apple round apple, smooth banana, melon gooseberry, peach how all this affluence speaks death and life it's not all really nice, you know even when you have a cup of tea and you receive that tea part of what you're receiving is the fact that you know, death and life and suffering and pain and you know, all kinds of things have gone into this to make this tea and to bring it to you shouldn't we have some sense of that and not think that we're going to set up a life where we don't have to have pain and we don't have to have suffering and I'll be free of all that to be free of the pain and suffering is not that you arrange a life that doesn't have it but it's not somehow and it's not such a big defeat

[66:44]

you know anymore and then we can you know, spend some time together and not beat each other up wasn't that nice what Rodney King said speaking of which, you know we're only here a little while can't we be friends let's figure out how to be kind and that sort of thing is much different than you know, the quick solution quick solution, you know we're all in a predicament we're all trying to figure out you know, what can I do that's wholesome and healthy and healing in this situation instead of being destructive you know, the cause of more and further suffering so, anyway boy get going sometimes, huh okay was that the bell for lunch do you want to go to lunch ready for lunch

[67:47]

any more if any of you are ready for lunch, fine is there one last question or comment or anything yeah I just want to say I really like what you said about you know, when you resort to assuming things and then you stop experiencing what's going on I was just kind of connecting with what you were saying that communication I don't know, I just find that this seems like really a problem sometimes in myself and also I notice it in other people when they kind of make some sort of assumption about who you are like a label in my medical profession where I've been misdiagnosed as having some kind of a problem and then after a year of having a doctor fit me into this thing he discovers that the diagnosis

[68:49]

is wrong and that I have a major eye disease you know, it's thrown me back for, you know anyway, I mean that's just like the worst example but just in everyday life there's all this energy and communication and understanding by seeing how they keep fitting into that category or that definition or diagnosis or whatever and a lot of times you can see when people are doing that to you you can see when you're doing it to somebody else and I wish it was possible to just shake them and go stop you know, I don't know how can you do that sort of, you know shaking them and going you're seeing me through this lens I feel like I'm getting better at perceiving

[69:50]

my own distortions just because once you put a label on something then it's not so confusing you don't have to live trying to figure out what's happening yeah, then you once you get a label on something you can think that you're doing the appropriate thing with what you call that and if you can just sort of live in the part where you're going with the average flow even though it seems less secure in a way it's more secure because you're not stuck I mean it's not painful I don't know, anyway yeah well it's why in Zen sometimes they talk about not thinking and that we should

[70:54]

we do need to anyway, what you say is you know, it's it's a big problem for us in a certain sense, you know because and it's also in terms of our own self-image you know, who do I think I who do you think you are who do you think you are what kind of a person are you are you a good person well no, but you just did this and this and this how could you be a good person and you know, depending on what we think of ourselves we'll tend to find the evidence to support that of our life and our basic well-being and basic wholesomeness is not, you know, wholesome and people with a good heart can still make mistakes and somebody with a good heart still has problems but can we

[71:55]

can we experience our own good heartedness and experiencing our own good heartedness and recognizing that even that kind of person can have difficulties or problems and make mistakes you know, then we can see it in other people even somebody who is mislabeling us so this is my hint to see if you can notice or and even if you don't notice your own good heartedness then you have to take you take it on faith you know, you have some some faith that you have you know, that you're that you're good hearted you're a sincere person and because also at the time of, you know our problems and difficulty and pain is the notice in somebody else being caught up in some idea I don't know, somehow

[73:02]

you know, we can have some larger heartedness about it so-called larger heartedness even at the same time I say that just because you know, sometimes we feel sort of tight in our heart so to speak, right and we feel sort of stuck and to feel tight or stuck then that's also at that time you know, we can't wait until suddenly we let go of that we'll have to have some larger heartedness about the fact that we're feeling sort of smaller hearted or stuck you know, and we can allow ourselves to feel that way and not make it even smaller and tighter by saying you know, telling ourselves that we shouldn't feel like that and then already you have larger heartedness it's sort of like, you know again, you know, kind of example from Thich Nhat Hanh

[74:02]

because he often talks about practicing smiling you know, and since it's so hard to smile, well you can practice a half a smile or a quarter of a smile and this isn't some way to mask over the fact that there's some underlying stress or tension but, you know, that we begin to regard things with a slight smile instead of our habitual you know, kind of posture or habit of mind and you know, as you and sometimes I do that kind of meditation as you inhale, let your heart fill with compassion and so he says some of you will some of you will think I don't notice any compassion

[75:03]

you know, you'll try this meditation and you don't feel any compassion well then at that time can you have compassion for somebody who doesn't feel any compassion see, this is, we have to start some place with some compassion or kind heartedness and it's for ourself you know, being the person we are and then for somebody who's close to us and somebody who's more distant and for various people that we meet in our life I read something recently which is that compassion good heartedness, compassion warmth, warm heartedness compassion is you know, pretty difficult a lot of times and our life normally is like the bucket going down in the well and it knocks against the sides and it's very easy for any of us

[76:05]

to fall into, in that sense to fall into activities that cause ourselves or others suffering like we're bringing up like the priest have to bring up it's easy for us to fall into those activities and knock against the side of the well and so on and the bucket goes down very fast and then to get the bucket up with the water in it it's much more work but that's our effort to see if we can generate that kind of compassion and warm heartedness even for, you know, compassion or warm heartedness do you understand? so if there's any way that you can you know, in the smallest way appreciate your being, our being you know, and be nurtured or nourished

[77:07]

by just your breath and your body and, you know the trees you know, we have a lot of when we stop and sort of collect ourself we have a lot that we can be thankful for, grateful for and benefit from and there's actually, of course a wonderful kind of joy when we receive ourself that way you know, when we finally have some compassion for somebody who doesn't have compassion you know, when we finally have some warmth in our heart for somebody that we feel

[78:08]

you know, has all these problems and that person is me, you know it's you yourself then what a joy you know, to finally be received and that mind this is mind I've been calling lately mind of meditation the mind of meditation is the mind that can receive you, you know receives your mind and receives your experiences and doesn't object over and over again and try to manipulate and control everything but can receive with some warmth or a little bit of a smile so on, okay Bon Appetit I'm supposed to be collecting lunch money thank you I got involved with more

[79:12]

than I should have been

[79:12]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ