Good morning. I was surprised when I first came in the door today to see how full the meditation hall was. So since there's so many of you, I wanted to assure you right away from the start of

[01:09]

my talk that you can relax, because I'm not going to say anything you haven't heard before. I won't say anything particularly profound, so it's not like you have to kind of sit on the edge of your chairs or anything. You can relax and, you know, it can be when I talk kind of like the sound of the creek or the birds, little birds chirping someplace, you know, so you can, it's just something to rest with. One of my favorite stories in the Zen literature is about the Zen teacher, Ikkyu. I use this story a lot, so as I said, you know, you've probably heard it before, but

[02:10]

we do have to start someplace. The Zen teacher, Ikkyu, when he was a student of his teacher's, his teacher, his teacher was very strict, and they, for instance, in the wintertime, they just had one robe, which they wore summer and winter, and no extra under robes, you know, like around here we have these little shirts underneath, you know, and these things. And then one blanket at night, no down sleeping bags, you know. And this is not like Marin County in California. This is like where it's snowing in the wintertime. And they also didn't have these big fireplaces and, you know, heaters, stoves. This is real Zen, you know, it's like that. The other morning, yesterday morning, we came to the, we're having, a small group of us

[03:15]

are having a Zen yoga retreat this weekend. And so we came in to sit in the Zen yesterday morning, and it was freezing, and nobody had lit a fire. So, you know, I thought, this is really Zen. They're really keeping up the tradition here at Green Mountain. But I figured for visitors, you know, I want to make it a little more inviting. So after the regular period of meditation was over, I lit the stove and tried to warm things up a little bit. And then we lit finally the stove out in the other room. So from outside, it was pretty cold, and then you could come into a warmer place, and then an even warmer place, you know, where you might like to spend some time, see, so, where rather than making it colder as you come, you know, in. But I guess historically, you know, if you make it too nice, then lots of people want to come and hang out with you. And, you know, just because it's a nice place to be, and they get free food and stuff. So historically, you have to kind of make it fairly difficult, or you get too many freeloaders.

[04:21]

Anyway, this was the tradition at Ikkyu's temple. And so needless to say, anyway, or the teacher didn't have very many students. And most of the students who came left. Ikkyu stayed for a number of years, and after he'd been there for seven or eight years, in the summertime, he used to go out in a little rowboat on the Lake Biwa and meditate as he floated around, just drifted in the boat. And one day he heard a crow caw. I'm tempted, you know, to attempt a crow caw, but, you know, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to inflict that upon you. It could have been a frog chirping. It doesn't have to be a crow. And he was in some way awakened, or moved, or touched.

[05:36]

And he went back to his teacher, and he told his teacher about what had happened. And the teacher, in the kind of typical Japanese way that we're so used to, Japanese teachers, that's pretty good, Ikkyu, but it's still not the enlightenment of the Buddhist ancestors. What about if you heard that, huh? Oh, well. Ikkyu said, I don't care. It's good enough for me. Then his teacher said, that's the enlightenment of the Buddhist ancestors. So I bring this story up for you,

[06:46]

so that you can, in a simple way, consider what would be good enough for you. This moment, any moment, is it good enough? Seeing colors, hearing sounds, sensation of pressure as you're sitting, sensation of the breath, inhaling, exhaling, feeling an itch here or there, some thoughts about yesterday and tomorrow, and worries, anxieties, fears.

[07:47]

Is there something better or more beyond what your experience already is that you could attain, if you just got rid of this kind of mundane stuff that you sort of feel stuck with or overwhelmed with or saddled with, weighted down with, more of the same? Or is your experience each moment, or on some moment, something you can receive with some settledness, some composure, ease, balance? Now, some of us, we practice meditation some,

[09:00]

and this weekend we're doing some meditation, some yoga. So if you do some practice like that, do you suppose that kind of technique or practice like that means that your experience will suddenly become good enough that you can produce a higher quality of experience? It's kind of like the colors will be a little bit brighter, the sounds will be a little more clear and crystalline or musical. The anger won't be so... The anger will be kind of more interesting and textural and, you know, you can... Wow, that's really incredible kind of anger now. It's not that same old kind of crummy anger I used to have before. Do you see what I mean? Will the practice give you these experiences which will be more powerful that you can say, oh, well, this is now finally good enough for me?

[10:03]

So usually, you see, we get... I think often we get somewhat caught with this notion that we could have better experiences, more profound experiences, more touching experiences. And maybe I'll do some special practice to produce them. And isn't it curious that it takes seven or eight years of strange, rigorous, austere practice to realize that to have the sound of a bird be enough? To be good enough? You know, that it doesn't have to be some really special sound. You don't have to hear heavenly choirs. Or what is it that you could hear

[11:06]

that would finally, you know, set you free in some way? What sights or sounds could do that, could awaken you? From this, I think you can see that it's not the quality of the sights or sounds. It's not the quality of the thoughts. It's not the nature of the experience that's important. But what is the way in which we receive the experience? How is it that we're relating to phenomena? And of course, phenomena is... Interestingly enough, we think that phenomena exists outside of me, that I receive phenomena

[12:09]

but we treat our own body and mind as phenomena. We say, my body. My body is also something outside of me. And my mind. You know, I can't control my mind. I get upset so easily. There's me and then there's my mind. So we're also talking about how do I relate with my own body? How do I relate with my own mind? How do I relate with myself? And as a rule, we relate the same with ourself as we do with other people. We relate the same way with everything. So if we start to ask, what can... what is somebody else going to do for us? What is going to the movies going to do for us?

[13:18]

You know, then we're also asking our own body and mind and saying to our own body and mind, can't you give me a better experience? Can't you give me a better experience? Can't you be a little more interesting? You've been kind of boring lately. Can't you give me a little excitement? Can't you give me something a little more holy? Or whatever, you know, you tend to like that you're not getting enough of, then you can say to your own body and mind, you know, you're not doing it. Can't you produce something a little better than that? Do you see how we talk? So it's not just, you know, objects and phenomena outside, but it's how we relate with... we're talking about or looking at how... how do we relate with ourself. So for the sake of the talk today,

[14:24]

I've decided to divide us up into two groups. You know, this is what you call a didactic kind of conventional, you know, tool, you know, to set up, you know, just for the sake of talk. But I've decided to, you know, say that there's two basic... we don't have to divide ourselves up, but we have these two basic approaches to how to relate with phenomena, including my own body and mind. And one is, I think of as the manipulation school, you know. So in the manipulation school, you try to, first of all, manipulate... when we try to manipulate which objects... which object is going to be there. And we want to have more of the objects we like there and less of the objects we don't like, right? And we want to have a good collection of objects. And then I can be happy. You know, if I only have to deal with things that I like, and I can only have pleasant things around me,

[15:25]

I'll be happy and at ease. Of course, right away, you have the problem that what happens when some object gets to you that you didn't like? And so how at ease can you be when you're always under the threat of having to deal with something you don't like? Right? So, this approach... there's some reason why Buddhism says that this kind of approach is suffering. You see? It works up to a point. You actually can get some objects that you like. But... essentially speaking the point... one of the basic points in Buddhism is that there's no way you could have that... any of us could have that degree of control over our own body and mind and phenomena and other people. And, you know, turn the... get the clouds to go away. You know, turn the heat up a little bit. Turn the sun down a little bit. You know, whether it's heat and cold or whatever it is. You know, the mosquitoes. You know, and so on. So...

[16:27]

There's this second school. There's this second approach. I'm...today I'm calling this the hang-out school. Where... the approach is that you just hang out with all these things. You don't try to... you don't try particularly to manipulate them. You don't try particularly to control them. And you just kind of say to everything that comes along, join the party. Now, obviously I'm just... I'm talking kind of... I'm making it kind of simple. You know. But it's just for the sake of being able to look at this. You know, we all... we all understand, I think, both these kind of tendencies or kind of... ways of going about things. But you can see how much easier it is to... you know, how much harder it is in meditation when you're sitting down and then... and... and you want to manipulate your experience and have a good one. Right? We don't have the advantage of being able to turn on the TV

[17:30]

or turn off the TV or turn on the stereo or turn off the stereo or go for a ride in your car or stop your car and take a walk. And you can't, you know, get out of... you know, the ice cream out of the freezer and you can't take a shower or a bath. You know. And you don't get to go out and lay in the sun. You're stuck just sitting here. See, so this is why it's sort of... it's to help us practice this just hanging out with things school. You see. Your options are much more limited. You see. So it's just practice. All right. You don't get anything out of it. Well, you get practice at hanging out with things. You do get that. But I also think of these two schools as the two kind of tendencies, as the one tendency is like the... the tendency to not meet, not deal with anything.

[18:31]

Okay. This is the kind of manipulation school. So I think of, you know, our culture as a whole. Recently, the last few months, the slogan I have that kind of defines our culture is happiness is never having to really relate with anything. See, and then you... and then you have... you know, you don't have to really respond to anybody. You know, oh, I have a problem. Oh, well, you just do this and this and this and then that takes care of that. You know. The magazines at the grocery store, I go to the grocery store a fair amount. They all have... they all tell you the secret right there on the cover. You know. Success in eight easy steps. You know, diet without dieting. You know, lose weight without dieting. And they have all the... you know, tell you exactly how to do it without having to actually relate with anything yourself, anybody else, without actually having to deal with

[19:34]

any sort of basic underlying problems or tendencies or anxieties or without having to in any way fundamentally change the basic approach that we have to life. Without having to look at that. You know. Solve everything. And you can see how limited that is, right? That's why you come to a place like Greenbelt. And this is also then you see why I call it... why I think of it sometimes as a kind of manipulation because it's how... you know, people say, well, what do I do with anger? And... you know, really to deal with anger you have to examine it and study it. Look into it really thoroughly. But basically the question, you know, comes from both that place but also another place which is how can I just get rid of it? How can I... what can I do with the anger so that I don't really have to relate with it at all?

[20:34]

Because it's kind of scary to actually have to relate with it. And it's kind of overwhelming and it's kind of threatening and it's really difficult and it's kind of beyond me. And I just... I don't know what to do with it. I can't handle it. So can you give me some idea of what to do with it so that I don't have to really relate with it, see? And many, many things and many things are like this. And then we have... I think as a whole in our culture has this kind of idea. Happiness is when you don't have to deal with anything really, you see. So when I go to the grocery store I have this kind of... Well, anyway, to finish up that analogy you see then the other kind of way of looking at that is

[21:35]

happiness is in relating to phenomena, things moment after moment. You see? Happiness is relating with this person, that person my pain, my suffering my anger, my sorrow my joy, my happiness and each thing, moment after moment the sound, the sensation happiness is in that relating. And happiness is not waiting until you don't have to deal with anything and now I can relax and be happy. This is the way we usually think. And then we go, oh my God not something else to deal with. What an affliction. It's something that's yet again afflicting me. What do you want? Can't you...

[22:35]

I say this sort of thing all the time. Can't you leave me alone? So look at it if you look at it carefully you can look at this and see well, where is happiness actually? Is it in not having to ever really relate with anything? Or is it in relating with each thing moment after moment? You know, in this touching and being touched. So, Dogen Senshi the Zen teacher, Dogen says, let your mind go out and abide in things. Let things return and abide in your mind. See, this is different than

[23:37]

never having to deal with anything. The interesting... another interesting thing about this is that when when we're taking the point of view of not having to relate with things then we think about ourself as being separate. I am separate from the phenomena. I'm separate from... I'm even separate from my own body and mind then. And how can I maintain my separateness? This is really what we ask when we say, how can I deal with with this and that and the other thing? How can I maintain my separateness? How can I deal with these things in such a way that I can maintain my separate identity and my separateness from these other people and these feelings I have and so forth? And maintain this idea

[24:40]

of who I think I am. You see? And then, at the same time to have that separateness then we also have... because we understand ourself as separate then we have... we have to deal with these things before they get to us and destroy our separateness. So somewhere in this relating to or being touched by things letting your mind go out and abide in things letting things return and abide in the mind is we lose ourself. We lose our idea of... we have to let go of some idea of who I thought I was. And this is not really the problem we think it is on the whole.

[25:41]

Because even though we disappear the person we thought we were disappears. Somebody else is there the next moment. And it's kind of interesting because you haven't met the person yet. You know? But chances are... you know... so if you're... the more practiced you are at meeting one thing after another then you meet yourself. New self, you see? Next moment. And that's okay. And that's different than maintaining the self that you thought you were. In some kind of position vis-à-vis the world. So Zen Master Tozan said I meet myself wherever I go. As I proceed through the world I meet myself wherever I go. But it's not a self

[26:52]

that you already knew. I'll give you another sort of silly example of you know, these two schools. Or calling schools. But as I said I go to the grocery store a lot since I teach cooking classes. And so I have to go and get the ingredients. And I've noticed in the past

[27:52]

that there are whole areas of the grocery store I kind of just pass through. And mostly I go to the produce section. You know? And I buy fruits and vegetables and then I have to go get some oil and vinegars and a few dairy products. And then there's all these other rows to the supermarket. And you know I've never I've never had a freezer a working freezer in my life. Which is you know I don't know it's pretty amazing I think to be 40 years over 40 you know in this culture and never having lived with a working freezer. So I walk right by the frozen food section for the most part. And you know Zen Center doesn't seem to have working freezers either. I don't know or they're real little and you know. Other places I've gone to cook you know people have freezers. But anyway the point of this is that well

[28:53]

I've noticed that see there are a lot of things in the store and you see them sometimes on television too. But but even in the store things as you walk down certain aisles and there's these packages and collars and these and the things look kind of nice. You know they kind of look good. They're very together. You know? And they have a nice kind of well look to them. You know? They look substantial. They look like real events. They look like something that you could relate to. Even they have at least the illusion that you can relate with them. You know? And then they say as you walk by they say buy me, buy me, buy me, buy me. And then you go well I don't know. And then they say you won't regret it. Buy me. I'll I'll really do good by you. And actually I'm quick. You know? I'm easy.

[29:56]

I'm easy. You know? And then you sort of go like well excuse me but is easiness all there is to I mean did you think I'm just interested in easy? Look I'm looking for a real relationship. I don't just want I don't want I just I don't just want easy. You know? And then there's some point where the things start to get nasty. I don't know if you noticed that but they kind of say look jerk. What's wrong with your taste Bozo? I mean don't you know a good thing when you see it? You know? I'm going well maybe not. I'm like well I don't know. And then they it's kind of like well look I don't want to get into a real conversation with you but you know if you want me buy me but you know let's we don't have to talk do we? You know? So I get that feeling from certain things in the grocery store. You know? Like

[30:57]

there's not really much possibility for relationship there. It's like if you get if I buy one of those things then it's sort of like they're going to tell me just where it's at and what to do. Put me in water for five minutes and that's that. You know? Put it in the put me in the microwave for two minutes and forget about it. You know? And don't think that you actually have to relate with me or deal with me or in any way you know have to figure me out or sort me out. You know? See? So the things in the produce department on the whole are a little bit different. You know? They're like oh my god you mean I have to relate with you? And I say yeah you get to relate with me. You know? And then you have to just help me sort me out. You know? You have to and you're going to have to actually you know work at what the relationship is. You're going to have to take off the peels you know and discard the the parts that that are a little wilted. You know? And then you're going to have to figure out what to do next. You see? So when I go in the

[32:01]

produce department the conversation that I have is a little bit different than you know all these other packages or things you know saying buy me buy me buy me and don't I look good and aren't I something? And you won't have to worry about a thing I'm easy you know and then in the produce department things are sort of saying hi how you doing? Oh fine thank you. Well what's happening today? Oh I don't know I was just looking around for something to eat. Well you know you might consider you know I could be a soup I could be a salad I mean hey you know and then listen there's that there's that great looking stuff right across the aisle from here you know and you know why don't you get me together with her you know I mean do you see those do you see those red bell peppers across there they'd go really great with you know I'd like to get together with them and then say well look you know I don't I don't exactly need all that kind of excitement in my life and then you know thanks and then

[33:01]

but you know well you know just tone it down with the dressing why don't you or you know you can or if it's too dull spice it up with the seasoning you'll come up with something you know so anyway then you have there's a it's a different kind of you see dynamic that goes on there of having to actually relate with something you see having to actually deal with something and then sort it out you know what do you use what do you not use how long do you cook it how long you know do you need to cook it do you want it you know should you eat it raw should you should you cook it see so suddenly there's a whole you have there's all this stuff to do see but now where is the happiness then is the happiness that never happens really with anything and you pop something in the oven and then you get fed and now you're happy because you know food it's all food is the same you see or is it happiness in the activity and I don't you know I take shortcuts too you know and I open up packages and stuff

[34:01]

so I don't I don't want to make this sound you know sort of like I do things the good way and you don't or anything but I just want to raise this sort of just a simple example you know to look at you see where is our where is our nourishment where is our sustenance where is our happiness is it in is it in not having to relate is it in and just getting what you need or is it in the relating is it in the sorting things out is it in the sorting through things figuring out what to put together with what what to discard so when we do meditation you know for I think on the whole most people and I'm not an exception to this

[35:03]

but when we start meditating we're looking for you know one of those nice little things that's saying buy me, buy me, buy me you know I want some nice experience that I can you know eat have enjoy you know that will make me feel good see and we keep overlooking that the nourishment is actually in just relating with each thing moment after moment sorting through things and there's a kind of work involved in that and that our happiness or you know sustenance is in the work and we can you know do something like meditation or you know cooking or relationships or work for a long time you know for many years and you know it takes some time to see that it's not the results that are so important and the results will come along with just the activity itself

[36:04]

and doing the activity itself in some careful and thorough way which is actually relating with things moment after moment you know you know I'll have a poem for you I'm going to read it I usually try to memorize these poems ahead of time but today I didn't have a chance this is this is you know to bring things back to the beginning we talked about a crow at the beginning this poem is about a duck this is from a letter that my my mother wrote to her sister April 1st, 1948 and my mother died on the 8th of April 1948

[37:11]

about a week later so this poem she says is from that ultra smart magazine the New Yorker and here's a part of the poem she says this is a part of the poem and it's it's from the poem called The Little Duck by Donald C. Babcock I don't know who Donald C. Babcock is but anyway here's the poem now we are ready to look at something pretty special it is a duck riding the ocean a hundred feet beyond the surf and he cuddles in the swells there's a big heaving in the Atlantic and he is part of it he can rest while the Atlantic heaves because he rests in the Atlantic probably he doesn't know how large

[38:13]

the ocean is and neither do you but he realizes it and what does he do, I ask you he sits down in it laughs he reposes in the immediate as if it were infinity which it is that is religion and the duck has it laughs I like the little duck he doesn't know much but he has religion and the letter continues there you are Hattie laughs so there you are in other words rest today

[39:14]

rest calmly without worry without fear take no thought of the morrow rest today as if it were infinity just each thing moment after moment swelling up thank you very much

[39:39]

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