Can everybody see a copy of this? Can you share? Can everyone see one? So this is called, this text is in Japanese, actually it's in Chinese. It's a Chinese text, it's a Chinese poem. And the Japanese pronunciation of it is Zazen Shin, which means the acupuncture needle, the needle of Zazen. sometimes translated as the point of zazen. The point of sitting meditation.

[01:05]

Zazen jinn. The essential function of all the Buddhas, functioning essence of all the great charts, is present without thinking. It is completed without interacting. Present without thinking, its presence is inherently intimate. Completed without interacting, its completion is inherently verified. It is presence inherently intimate. It is ever without disdain or defilement. It is completion inherently verified. It is ever without the upright or inclined. Intimacy ever without stain or defilement. It is intimacy soft without discarding. Verification ever without upright or inclined.

[02:18]

The water is clear right through the earth. A fish swims along like a fish. The sky is vast straight into the heavens. If I may relate back to this morning a little, Lois brought up that there seems to be some unhappy families in this world.

[03:29]

And again, I would just suggest to you one interpretation of how the appearance of unhappy families fits into this story. of the lost child is that the situation of being in a family that has suffering could be seen in various phases of the narrative. It could be seen as the members of the family are wandering away from their fundamental life, and in this wandering they are suffering.

[04:34]

But it could also be seen as the phase in the story where one has been offered an opportunity to do some work, and has taken on the work. So some unhappy families are doing the work of shoveling the dung of their unhappiness, and some are not. But even the ones who are shoveling the dung are still working with the heaviness of our lack of understanding of our fundamental life. And then the later phases of the training, which are characterized as in the house of the Buddhas, understanding more and more how this all works, that could also still be working with any unhappiness that there is in our families, or in our family, the family of all beings.

[05:46]

So the basic message is, we're all on this path together, we're all helping each other, we're all helping all others, and we're all being helped by all others. That's our fundamental reality, and we're all on the path of realizing that, which is called Buddhahood. And realizing that is complete liberation from the suffering of not realizing that. But it is the case that all living beings have that fundamental reality, and all living beings wander away from it in order to realize it. And the wandering away is various forms of unhappiness, and the returning is various kinds of practices. I'm open to questions, but before I take questions, I just want to tell that a number of people brought up today, trust.

[06:55]

And they meant, I think, they sometimes meant trusting others. But they could also mean trusting themselves. And I asked some of the people, and actually a number of people brought up betrayal and harm. So I asked people, what kind of trust are you talking about? And they said, well, trust that people will not betray me. and will not harm me. And I asked, hoping not to be too harmful, I asked if these people would like some feedback on that. And they said yes, so I tried to gently mention that I do not have that kind of trust. What kind of trust? I don't trust that others won't hurt me. I don't trust that. I don't trust that others won't betray me. I don't trust that. I don't.

[07:56]

And before I didn't trust it, I felt sometimes that people were hurting me, harming me. And I felt people were betraying me and lying to me before I noticed that I didn't believe in that. After I willingly gave up such a trust and opened to the possibility that some people would betray me and lie to me and harm me, I've been feeling much better. So I don't prohibit anybody from trusting that people will not betray them. I don't prohibit that. I don't even discourage it. But I encourage giving up that trust, and getting ready for the thing you trusted people weren't going to do. And getting ready that you might do it to yourself, that you might hurt yourself and betray yourself.

[09:05]

I think I very often hear from people that they really don't want to betray themselves. and that they feel various temptations to betray themselves. I hear from people that they want to really be authentic and true to themselves and not betray themselves. But they do sometimes think they do betray themselves. They don't so often say to me, I want to trust that I won't betray myself, because they kind of know that they do. And maybe if others didn't, that would be good. But anyway, the appearance of betrayal to myself, and the feeling that others are betraying to me, that can arise in my life, and I want to be ready for that. And somebody said, but it's so frightening, how can you not be afraid of it?

[10:06]

And the way I train myself to not be afraid of being harmed, of being betrayed, is by being compassionate to myself when I feel harmed and betrayed. And by learning to be compassionate to myself when I feel harmed and betrayed, or afflicted, intentionally or unintentionally. I become less and less afraid that it will happen. And more and more open to it happening. Not wanting it to happen, but open to it. Because if I don't, I believe, here's what I trust. I trust being open to harm and betrayal. I trust the opening to it.

[11:08]

Not the asking for it, the opening to it. I trust being kind to it and be kind to how I feel when it arrives. I trust that. And I trust that not only as first aid, to the sense of betrayal or harm, but also as an opening to what will liberate all beings. If I don't open to betrayal, if I don't open to harm, If I close to harm, if I close to betrayal, if I close to vulnerability, I also close the door to wisdom. I don't want to close the door to wisdom. I want to open the door to wisdom. I don't want to close the door to reality.

[12:11]

I don't want to close the door to how I am supported by the entire universe and how I support the entire universe. I don't want to close the door on that, because that is suffering. I believe in that. That's what I trust. I trust reality, I trust the Dharma, and I trust opening to the Dharma, but the price of opening to the Dharma is to open to everything. That's what I trust. My trust is in that. And if everything is sickness, if one of the things is sickness, affliction, betrayal, And also me making mistakes, me falling down on the job, me being unkind to others and myself. All of that I want to learn to be compassionate with.

[13:17]

So there's betrayal. I want to practice compassion with the betrayal. If you betray me, if I think you betray me, or you tell me you're betraying me, whatever, I want to be compassionate to that. I want to welcome that. I want to welcome betrayal. I want to welcome harm. I want to open to it. I want to be careful of it. I want to be patient with it. I want to be diligent with it. I want to be calm with it. And if I practice that way with it, I'll become less and less afraid of it. And less and less afraid of those things means less and less afraid of my rich parents. who are giving me complete universal support and are also receiving all of me. Like that song, why not give all of me? Why not take all of me? Yeah, right.

[14:18]

That's reality. So, that's what I believe in, but I don't believe that beings will not appear to be harming me. And I don't believe that I cannot be harmed. But I do believe that no matter how I potentially aspire to no matter how much I'm harmed, to eventually learn how to meet that harm that I feel with respecting it and honoring the feeling of harm. Not downplaying it, not lying about it, not denying it, giving it its due, opening to it, saying thank you I have no complaints, and being careful of it, and so on. That's what I believe in. But I don't believe there's going to be no more trouble. And I don't believe there is going to be more trouble. I just think, probably there will be, unless I die right now.

[15:24]

Right now I'm feeling pretty... I don't feel like anybody's betraying me right now, or harming me. I don't. But you might, if I live much longer. Some of you might harm me, some of you might betray me, some of you might lie to me, some of you might not be loyal to me or faithful to me, and I might not be that way with myself or with you. That might happen. And that will be difficult and challenging maybe, but I am up for the challenge. Generally speaking, that's my vow. And if we live for a long time, the likelihood of running into some trouble becomes greater. You've heard about old age, right? A lot of people find it really hard. So we need to develop these practice habits which can perhaps survive or reproduce themselves as we go into old age.

[16:43]

And if we're young, then if we've got the practice so they'll survive into middle age. I have a really personal question, but if you'd be willing, I wonder if you'd tell us what are some of the things you do to be kind to yourself when somebody hurts you, or betrays you? What do you do? I say welcome to the pain, basically. If I feel pain, I mean, sometimes people intend to betray me. I can see they're trying to betray me, but it doesn't hurt. It doesn't always hurt when they betray me. Particularly if they're darling little girls or little boys. So grandchildren are nice because they do things which, you know, they intend to be cruel and they sometimes don't hurt. But some people,

[17:46]

But when grandchildren, as they grow up, they sometimes learn more accurate ways of getting to you. By the time they're teenagers, they can sometimes go right to the, they know the spot to touch and say, how about that one? That's a challenging one. When my grandson was younger, He used to pinch me and bite me and say, does that hurt? No. Does that hurt? No. Does that hurt? No. Does that hurt? Mm-hmm. Does that hurt? Yes. Would you stop now? Please? Does that hurt? Yeah. So, start with generosity. Welcome the pain of whatever. If you can't in that moment, welcome it. If you can't in that moment, welcome it? Then, welcome that you can't. So, you could maybe not welcome it. One possibility is you can try to welcome it and feel like, I didn't really welcome it.

[18:54]

And you could just try again, or you could shift from what you think is too advanced to go back and take something easier, like welcoming that you couldn't welcome it. Right? So like I often use that example of somebody giving me a nice new automatic pencil. And I came home and I said, look at the automatic pencil I got. And my wife said, can I have it? And I said, no. I wasn't ready to welcome her request and give her the pencil. But I welcomed that I didn't welcome it. I felt a little embarrassed not doing it, I wasn't too hard on myself. I said, you're not ready. Here's this person who's done so much for you and you're not ready to give her an automatic pencil. Silly boy. But I didn't beat myself up and I had a good night's sleep and the next morning I got up and somehow the automatic pencil came to mind again and so I picked it up and gave it to her.

[20:03]

But I was ready to give it to her. By welcoming my stinginess, I got ready to be welcomed, giving the bottom of my pencil away. And again, someone can ask you for something, and you can give it to them, and at the same time betray yourself, because you don't want to give it to them. You don't. And if you hand it over, you're not giving it to them. You're just betraying yourself who doesn't want to give it to them. So, if someone asks you for something and you hesitate, you might check to see what is not betraying yourself. And it might be to say, non-betrayal might be, you know, I'm embarrassed to say that I actually am not ready to give you this pencil. And I didn't betray myself on that occasion, I'm just a stingy guy."

[21:05]

And the person says, yeah, and you should be ashamed of yourself. And you say, well, I am kind of, a little bit, because I would like to be able to give you everything. But that's not where I'm at right now, and I'm not going to pretend that I'm somebody else. If you think you are giving, you should check to see if you're being honest about it. So move on from giving to ethics, and see if you're trying to get a good reputation as a giver, trying to avoid thinking of yourself as stingy, and so on and so forth. And then be patient with how long it takes you before you're ready to be generous. Because it's painful not to be generous, a little bit anyway, or a lot. So you practice that where you bring compassion to your lack of generosity, to your not being very compassionate to this person, and you will find the way to compassion. Yes?

[22:11]

You know, you don't have that problem, but I have that problem, and I want to see how What problem do you have? What problem don't I have? You don't have the problem of people giving you a label of good or bad. Oh yeah, they do. Oh, I see. You see that people do give me labels of good and bad, right? And you're fine with it. I am pretty much fine with it, yeah. This is one of my great happinesses. After practicing at Zen Center for 49 years, I'm kind of okay with people labeling me as bad and good, and not just children. Actually, I am good with that, I'm fine with that. And people do do that. They say, bad priest, good priest. Or mediocre priest, above average priest, below average priest. People do say that. And sometimes they seem to be saying it about me.

[23:14]

And then I get... to be compassionate with how I feel and with them talking to me like that. So that's the part I miss. I miss to be compassionate, because I just don't want to hear people so I can be me. Because when they give me labels, then I kind of take the label and say, okay, now I have to be this label or that label. So if I be compassionate... There's the thought, they're labeling me, and then there's the thought, now I have to deal with that label. Both of those things might be quite uncomfortable. It's kind of uncomfortable if somebody tells you, like somebody says, you're a woman. It's a little bit uncomfortable. Because, you know, you're not just a woman. That's just a word to say you, for somebody to say you are Homa, you're not Homa, that's your name. For them to say your name's Homa, that's a little bit different. You're a woman or you're a homo does not give me as much as an attribute.

[24:20]

I'm talking about more attributes. Okay, attributes. Like what? Like good and bad? Yeah, good or bad. Or great. Or you're not fond of a woman or whatever. So when people label you with attributes, you feel some discomfort? I don't feel discomfort in the moment, but I feel discomfort that, okay, now am I supposed, or I go in my mind that now I need to sustain this label, this vision that they're putting on to be that. And sometimes I don't want to be that. I want to be me. I don't want to be any In general, some of the labels... I got it. So when you start to feel like you have to either be in accord with that or not, you start to feel some stress. So that's the opportunity for compassion. Somebody says, you're wonderful, and you feel like, well, now am I supposed to be wonderful for several hours?

[25:28]

I feel stressed about that, so then I'm compassionate to feeling stressed that people are saying I'm wonderful and I'm supposed to be wonderful now for like, you know, how long am I supposed to be wonderful? And that thought makes me feel stressed, but I can be compassionate to that. Someone also said, I mentioned to somebody that martial arts. And as I've mentioned to you a number of times, the first thing they teach you in Judo anyway, they teach you how to fall. So the person says, well, how about emotionally falling? Same way. If you fall, you can practice compassion with your falling. And to think, if I'm not going to necessarily torture you with this, I'm not going to torture you with this Homa, I'm not going to walk up to you every few minutes and say, Homa, you're so wonderful. I'm not going to do that to torture you. But I'm tempted to say, you're so wonderful, and then you say, now you said that and now I have to deal with, maybe I should be that way that you think I am.

[26:42]

But you know I don't want you to be with the way I think you are. I want you to be compassionate with how you feel, with how I think about you. That's what I want. And then you might say, well, now I'm supposed to be compassionate. And I feel stressed about it, and now I have to be compassionate. And I want you to be compassionate with that stress, that you think I'm commanding your compassion. I do wish that you would be compassionate, but I'm not commanding you because wishing is enough for me. Commanding is kind of misleading, because I can't control you into being compassionate. But I do wish that for you. That I totally am willing to wholeheartedly receive when coming to compassion. Not being uncompassionate, but I am willing to receive But you're having trouble receiving people labeling you, giving you attributes.

[27:49]

And I'm not going to do that over and over just to give you an opportunity to feel stressed and practice compassion. I'm not going to do that. But other people are going to, and I'm going to send them to do that for you. And then I'm going to say, remember, do you remember what to do now, Homa? I sent those people to do it. I'm not going to do it, but I have people who are going to do it for me. And remember what to do now, right? You say, yes. And you might say, would you show me again, and then I'll show you, and then you can do it. I say, are you ready for another person? I'm going to send another person. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. Send them. You know me better than I know myself. She's giving me an attribute. Thank you, Homa. And I didn't fall into it. I was tempted. Oh, that's pretty cool.

[28:53]

I didn't fall into it. But if I did fall into it and say, wow, I know her better than she does, then I'm really a good priest, right? If I had fallen into it, I have a way of dealing with my falls. I practice generosity, and again, I'm careful with my falls. I don't lie. I say, I think I fell there. And I don't hate myself for falling. And I don't slander myself for falling. And I don't, again, I don't intoxicate myself to numb myself from the feelings that I get when I fall and so on. And then I'm patient with my falling. In this way, compassion grows out of my falls. My falls produce blossoms of compassion. So I should fall occasionally to give my compassion an opportunity. And I do fall occasionally.

[29:54]

But I'm not done. This is an ongoing... Oh, by the way, someone said to me that she met an artist who expressed herself so freely and so openly, it was really inspiring. And she said, like you do, except it was with an artist. And I thought, well, wait a minute. I'm an artist too. And I want to be an artist who expresses herself freely. But my artwork is our relationship. I'm doing the art of our relationship and I'm doing it with you, so you're artists too. And we want to get more and more... I don't know what's the word for great... We want to be bigger and more wonderful artists in our relationships. Yes? Can I tell you something? I've never told you this.

[30:55]

It happened a long time ago. You never told me? OK, let's hear it. But I had a dream, and I was kind of torn between being a Zen monk and an artist, as you know. And you were on a ship with a group of people, and somebody asked you, what is art? And you ran to the back of the room and started drawing on the wall, and then everybody started drawing on the wall with you. So that was a good dream. So I see you as an artist. But not just an artist, but an artist who wants to transmit the art. Whose art is the other people are drawing on the wall. Like, you know, sometimes Zen masters do little tricks when they die. Like they sometimes die, they sit up and then they die and continue to sit up. Or sometimes they're standing and they die standing and they just keep standing for a while.

[31:58]

Sometimes they hang from a tree with one hand and die and rigamortis sets in so they continue to hold on. And there are various other little tricks they sometimes do. They have enough yogic power so that when they die they can do something which we don't expect somebody who is dead to be able to do. When Suzuki Roshi died, he was lying down on his bed, upstairs in the Zen Center in San Francisco. And as he died, 132 people started sitting Zazen. So his art, Suzuki Roshi's art, was us, was our practice. And it's not so much his art is your practice, but his part is all of our practices, which is your practice too.

[33:00]

That was his practice. I was intrigued this morning by your use of the word confidence. I always assumed that meant trust, but I checked the origins dictionary in the men's changing room. Actually, the root of it is faith. to be with faith. And listening to you talking about the six paramitas, listening to you talk about the six paramitas in relationship to shoveling the dung, I guess, as a training ground. Would you see the Six Paramitas as training in faith, in a sense, to face, I think you called it, the ways of the house? Yeah. So, one thing that I trust is I trust the Bodhisattva vow.

[34:06]

I trust that. I bet on that. But then I also trust the teaching, which is that the Bodhisattva vow, in order to continue to live and grow, you practice the Paramitas. So you feel this, somehow, in this reality that we're living in, where we're in this intimate relationship with the whole universe, and we don't understand it, but we're also in an intimate relationship with those who do. Everybody is intimately related to everybody, and most people do not understand that. Everybody is, in reality, according to this teaching, supporting everybody else and being supported by everybody else, but most living beings do not understand that.

[35:11]

However, we are also in intimate relationship with those who do. We call them Buddhas. And in that relationship with the Buddhas, this thing arises in us at some point and becomes eventually conscious that we wish to walk the path to understanding this reality. And then, out of this wish to walk this path, we also hear that there's practices to protect this wish on the path. No matter how deep the dung gets, and even if there's like swords in the dung, we're told that all of this is included in the path. And then do we believe it? And the more we practice those practices with the dung, And then with the business of the house, the more we do the practices, the more confidence grows.

[36:18]

So it says in the story over and over, his confidence gradually grew. That he, the way he was, with all his problems, was to be engaged with, with compassion. And he did gradually come to think, yeah, maybe my life is a suitable opportunity for the practice of this great house. I'm this way, and I aspire to be that way, and being this way is an opportunity to realize what I aspire to. And a lot of the way I am doesn't look like what I aspire to. It looks like I'm poor and I'm being told, actually he wasn't told, and so I really shouldn't be in the neighborhood of such wealth.

[37:28]

but it is over there, it is nearby, and gradually I come to feel like, well, I could deal with all that wealth, because I can deal with poverty, I can deal with wealth. And so, the second time I get invited, he was invited at the beginning of the story when he came back home, he was like very firmly invited to come up to the house, and he fainted. with that firm invitation. So then the invitation was loosened up. And he got a different invitation. Not to come to the house, but to deal with something more in his realm. And he was up for it. It was okay. He had a lot of problems, so it was like he could deal with these problems. But he couldn't deal with the problem of the ultimate invitation he wasn't ready for. So then he gradually developed more and more confidence and then he felt like, well, I actually could deal with things I thought would be impossible to deal with before.

[38:33]

And then he did. And then his confidence grew more. And then he finally dealt with the punchline is, you've always been dealing with it and you've always been in this family. But you couldn't stand to face it. And you had to go away from it to face it. we have to go away from our nature to face it, and we have to face it to realize it, even though it's what we already are. So we have to go away from our human nature, which is very difficult, so we can face it and work out our compassionate intimacy with it, and then we realize it. And it's not all that easy, this path. Yes. The father demonstrated great skillful means.

[39:39]

Can you talk a little bit about that? Is that some of the wealth that the son inherits? Yeah. And also, by the way, the father, in a way, made a mistake at the beginning. Actually, at the very beginning of the story, he made a mistake. He felt like he made a mistake of letting his son go. Excuse me for saying so, but I just got this resonance with the Christian story. He cared so much for the world that he gave his only son. But in this story, he didn't really register that he gave his son. But he did give his son. He let his son run away. And then before his son came back, he had regret that he hadn't kept his son in the house. And in Buddha's story too, Shakyamuni Buddha's story, he lived in this very nice house also. And his father wanted to keep him in the house.

[40:42]

And in this case, the father didn't really let him go. Shakyamuni wanted to go away. And he had to really beg his father to let him go. But in the story we have, the boy wandered away and the father was kind of at first regretful that he let him go away. because he wants his boy in the house. And again, another resonance is my own children, you know, and grandchildren. I want them in the house. But the reason why there are grandchildren is because the children got away from the house. Now, it's not impossible to have children in the house, but anyway, in this case, the children went away from the house, had grandchildren. I let the children go away, and now I let the grandchildren go away. The grandchildren moved to other cities.

[41:45]

I let them go. I show them a grandfather who wants them in the house, but who lets them go. So, the father let the son go, but he didn't know it. Then the son comes back, and maybe the father got a little bit too excited. And in his excitement, his skill in means was not too good. Because he sent these angels, these jewel-studded angels to go and apprehend his boy. That was not so skillful, in a way. But he saw it, so he recovered. And then he sent a more appropriate messenger, somebody who wouldn't frighten his son. Now he's cooking. And then he gradually entices his son back into the house by doing things which will help him develop the confidence that he could assume responsibility for this ultimate wealth of human life.

[42:55]

But the story is interesting because the father slipped a little bit, once or twice. He slipped when he didn't understand that his son had to run away, and he slipped when his son came back, he got a little too excited, a little bit too happy, maybe a little too intoxicated by, oh he's back, yikes, let's get him! I got him back! A little bit too much. So in this story the father, although the father represents the Buddha, In a way, the father was a Buddha who still makes the mistakes, but then he recovered, and so it has a happy ending. And the story is, I would say, saying that we are all on this path and there's going to be a happy ending for all of us. We are all going to become Buddhas, but it's going to be quite a trip between now and then. There may be trouble ahead. So why there's music and moonlight and love and respect?

[44:07]

Or no, love and romance? Let's face the music and dance. Soon we may be without the moon. singing a different tune, and then there may be teardrops to shed. So while there's music and moonlight and love and respect, no, romance, let's face the music and dance. Okay? Okay, here we go. May our intention equally extend to every being and place. merit of Buddha's way.

[45:11]

Beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are above Thank you all very much once again.

[45:45]

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