If you move around in the mind of not knowing, the kind of knowing appears in art. Surprisingly, knowing appears in our activity. Allowing, not knowing. Even in the painter's brush.

[01:03]

So we have this phrase many of you know. Not knowing is nearest. He thinks he's a nun. I'm going to try that too. Don't I look like a nun?

[02:33]

Well, not really. Not really? There's an open nun. A wolf as a grandma. A wolf as a grandma. Little Red Riding Hood. We know Little Red Riding Hood, but I never thought of that as how I present myself as a teacher. I mean, as I've often said, a good Zen teacher is supposed to, as they mature, become grandmotherly, which I haven't got there yet. But a wolf disguised as a grandmother, no. Now on Sunday there's always this problem of when we end. I think you put 4.30 in the schedule?

[03:48]

4? Okay. But then of course there's the problem if we come back from lunch at 3 and we end at 4. Hmm. And then there's also always some people, or one or two persons, have to leave midday because they have to drive to Prague or something. Yeah, so... So I'd like you to think about what... time we should leave or how long a lunch we should have or should we skip lunch you know and I'm very curious actually about how this seminar is going to turn out What we can do before it ends.

[05:09]

But first, of course, I'd like to have some discussion with you related to, but not necessarily reports from, but at least related to or a continuation of yesterday's discussion. Sounds so interesting, German. All right, so what would anybody like to say? Yes. I found it interesting that we couldn't supplant Zazen mind with another word. What we noted was that when we decided to sit, whether it would be in the morning or in the evening or whatever, that there is a mind which, well, we sort of had to call Zazen mind,

[06:28]

You used the English words, Zazen mind. Yes, we have Zazen mind. It's not Zazen mind, but Zazen mind. Zazen mind, yes. And what we were able to describe was that in Zazen itself, that it was an achievement that we did not identify ourselves with something, or the development of the idea that identification can take place. What we found being a relief actually sitting was that we didn't have to identify with anything or at least the tendency towards not identifying with anything. And what I found is interesting in a way. I'm curious that for one person even Zazen was boring, found boring. You're surprised? I mean, what's a good one? It was never born for me.

[07:45]

But the same person said that it is before and after for him. The same person also said that before and afterwards it was always a relief, an enlightening situation, an enrichment, several of these things. Okay. She said that she started sitting with students two years ago, 20 minutes a week. And she provoked it, or animated it, that she said, it contributes to concentration and we can give you a better emergency. What I liked was what auntie was telling was two years ago started sitting with her pupils and she said it was about, she told them it was about concentration, you can increase your concentration and

[09:09]

You may get a better grade. I should try that in a sashim. You sit well during the session and after which you get a star on your forehead. Yes. Along these two years, this happening, what you noticed was that the ability of the disciples to... The disciples or the students? No, pupils. Okay, you haven't arranged for them to be disciples yet, have you? No, the pupils.

[10:10]

More and more we're able to... not only talk about what's happening in them within that session, with each other, and among each other also, which normally are quite closed up. Yes. And the increase of estimation of others, taking oneself not so much as more so important, and other estimation, you know. Sounds good. I mean, it sounds like a Buddhist wrote this book, this story. Yes. What we all together discovered was that through Zazen abilities appeared and were there which were there we hadn't discovered before.

[11:26]

Okay. Right. You want to tell us something about your experiment? You know. She's shy. She's your agent? Someone else. Oh yes, okay. We talked among other things about allowance and acceptance. And how these two terms bring an openness into Zazen, which is conducive or productive? And this happens on a spiritual plane and on a perceptual plane where I don't exclude things anymore.

[12:36]

But also very much so on a psychological plane, level. That was the term of allowance and now we got to accepting. And I found the discussion interesting because what's quite clear to me was the dynamics of accepting. What would I have to do to be accepting or what did I do when I was accepting? And it wasn't clear for all of us, how do you accept something? And it's about clearing this territory. Okay, my spies have told me that you weren't going to speak for the group. You told them, yeah.

[13:42]

Oh, you were speaking through your eyes. Well, anyway, I'm glad you spoke. Now, you spoke about a perceptual plane and a psychological plane and you said a spiritual plane. What do you mean by that? Something that's not perceptual and psychological. Yeah, I would say spiritual is not psychological. Spiritual and perceptual. So everything that's not perceptual or psychological. Perceptual and spiritual would be flowing into you. Oh, they would, okay. Okay. Okay. Valentin? I know you were just grooming yourself, but... When I had hair, I used to do that too, you know.

[14:48]

I'll speak in German first. OK. In our group, we also talked about allowing intercepting. Could I talk later?

[16:13]

Can I speak later? At the moment I'm not able to say what I want to say. Okay, fine. That's fine. Of course. Thank you. Someone else? Yeah, let me say first though... you both have mentioned allowing and accepting. And I think that it's not obvious when I just describe and using those two words. But they're hard won, those words. Hard ones. Hard won. It's an expression. It's hard to get there. Yeah, I've had to think for many years, actually I'm sorry to tell you, for many years about what it means to allow and what that mental and perceptual attitude is and what it means to accept the dynamics, as Nico said, of acceptance.

[17:31]

It took you many years. Many years, really? Yeah. And of course, I have no idea if they have Anything like the similar feeling in Deutsch, but at least I've got to start with English, so you guys can finish it off in German. Okay, Ulrike? I was working with the distinction of body, speech and mind and

[18:48]

Among our group we talked that when it's the case that Zazen mind can be taken into speaking, And what I perceive and notice is that within me there is a kind of friction. when the speaking approaches or comes near to the Southern mind in stillness.

[20:01]

How they kindly push or nudge each other. Oh, really? This is good. I like that. Okay. Thanks. Yes. Yes. Situations came to my mind where there wasn't much room for allowing and accepting because things happened so fast. Also wo ich aufgeben musste. To give up. To give up. To not be able to decide, do I want this now or not?

[21:07]

It was obvious that things would happen. And then this, yes, let it be, let it be. Well things just happened and I had to sort of surrender or give in. There wasn't much choice and for me was left just to say so be it. Now what is the difference between accepting and surrendering and so be it? It is sometimes the case that it is about bringing the students into a situation where they no longer have a choice, where they are at some point in their existence.

[22:10]

I thought about spiritual practices where the disciples are brought into a situation where there is no more room for disciples, where they are pushed to the edge and there is no more decision possible. For me, allowing is always something where the ego is involved in the chance, in the wait. Allowing for me is a situation where the ego thinks it has a choice. Well, okay, let me say that there's allowing and accepting as actions which you need time to do. Oh, now I'm going to allow. But there's allowing and accepting as attitudes which are just present And they don't need time, it's just the way you function. And I've suggested over the years that to develop the attitude of accepting, you practice using the word yes or welcome to accept

[23:16]

initiate any mental or physical action. Now some of you who haven't spoken, and I think you know who you are, it would be nice if you said something. It's like giving an apple to the teacher. It makes him happy, or her. An apple. An apple. Adam. Yes. Yes. Oh, hi. Our group hasn't said anything, nobody said something. And if I summarize this correctly, we have also talked about how the Zazen decisions, or things that happen, and I can't even go back to them, that the Zazen, or the practice, makes it easier to accept and to deal with them.

[24:49]

things happening or having happened, zazen helps to accept that what has happened, even if there wasn't a choice. That's what zazen is helping. There was also the expression, or the experience of a practitioner, that it can also be very difficult, because it has a claim, with Zen, it should actually, or in practice, or when I am a Zen practitioner, it should actually go well, or I can do it, and yet I notice, oh, it breaks me up, or ... The other side being, or the other experience being that when there is the, how shall I say, doing zazen, things should have happened better. Really?

[26:00]

So my wish on my approach that I'm doing that and things should happen really well and they don't is maybe also a sort of something like a disappointment. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, it is like that, but it's just a posture. You can't expect too much of it. But it's interesting that we do expect something of just the mental and physical posture of sitting. Yeah. So the expectations must have some legitimacy, but we need to kind of negotiate our expectations. Exactly, I'm just speaking for everyone.

[27:08]

Jeanette, you're fairly new to Zazen and new to the way we talk about things here. Do you have something you could say to us? Jeanette is relatively new to Zazen and would like to say something. I'm a little familiar with this sitting situation from a therapeutical technique which is called psychosynthesis. to de-identify myself, to perceive feelings, thoughts, feelings, wishes and to step out again and to perceive that I am not that, but I am much more. It is about this identification.

[28:16]

There are feelings, emotions, wishes and so on, and being able to step out of this and say, I am not just this, I am much more. And I can say, I have been sitting for four weeks. Half an hour a day, I've understood. Wonderful. Really? Okay. This is good. Okay. Someone text. Someone else. Thank you. Yes. We talked about the water, either going through the holes or through the drainage.

[29:17]

Yeah. How this fits to accepting and allowing because water seems to not having a choice whether it would go there or there. I think my view is that accepting and allowing is important, but it is also important to recognize that you recognize how you allow and accept things, and how you should change things. And it's about allowing, it's about recognizing how in your life you allow something and accept something in how you take decisions.

[30:29]

Yeah. Yeah. And the way of the water may have something to do with that. Yeah. Well, you know, experience is not words. And words are not experience. But words can be keys to experience. keys or cues. But we have to actually, I think, practicing Zen, you have to study your words through experience. So you can't just look up allowing in the dictionary.

[31:31]

You have to kind of watch what happens when you use it. And in various situations, an experience accumulates about how you use it. What I find, and it's always been... It continuously, continually, continuously, continually surprises me. Is I will take a word and explore it experientially over a period of weeks or longer. And then at some point I may look up the etymology of the word.

[32:37]

And some layers of my experience, where I experienced the word, not in the terms of a contemporary dictionary, seemed parallel the etymology, how the words changed over the centuries. Yes. And you just... Someone else? Lisa? Oh... You're there dressed with your baby. Okay. You come after Valentine. Someone else, yes.

[33:39]

After we had exchanged some positive memories and experiences about the praxis, we came to the topic of what is an unusual topic. Coming from Zazen mind to allowing intercepting, after we exchanged positive experience, we then approached the more negative experiences. How do I accept or allow myself to accept this situation? What I found interesting was that there were several levels. On the one hand you can say I'm in a situation

[34:41]

die mir unangenehm ist, die ich auch nicht ändern kann. Es fehlt uns annehmen. There are several planes in that, and I come into a situation which is unpleasant, and how can I accept it? Und dann gibt es die zweite Ebene, dass ich, mal funktioniert das annehmen, mal funktioniert das annehmen nicht so, und jetzt gibt es die zweite Ebene, dass ich jetzt auch annehmen muss, dass ich vielleicht nicht sofort in der Lage bin, etwas zu akzeptieren. And sometimes accepting works, sometimes it doesn't. And then the second plane is that I have to accept that I may not be able or I'm not able to accept this and that situation. Yes. The wholeness in the whole situation is not about that I accept this in that situation, but I have to accept myself in that accepting or not accepting situation.

[36:04]

Yes. Beyond. And let it go, let it go, let it go. Yeah. I like that. Somehow while you were speaking I was reminded that, you know, I... obviously been doing Zazen for many years. And for a lot of the years it's just what I do. I mean, I just do it because I do it, you know. And that has, you know, that's been okay. But I've also noticed that if I look forward to Zazen, my Zazen is more satisfying than when I don't look forward to it. That kind of surprises me. But you know, I'm by myself part of the time now in this apartment. in Freiburg where I can just write and follow my own schedule.

[37:10]

And I know I'm going to do Zazen at a certain time. And this apartment really is insurance for my young wife and younger daughter to have a place to live after I perish. So I found a room. Perish, there's a very old fashioned word for perish. Oh, really? I'm not old, and I need an old fashioned word for perish? No, the old terms are richer. Oh, really? It would be something like you get ever paler. I get ever paler? You'll lose that life. When you perish, only when you perish. I'm going to start wearing colored shirts.

[38:14]

Hawaiian shirts, right, exactly. So I, because I won't be there, I imagine the apartment being used and then not there. So I got this really beautiful Tara for Marie-Louise and Sophia. It took two or three years for me to get it. But it's our altar. So I sit with this really ravishing Tara and do Zazen every morning. And when I just know I'm going to do it soon, I just do it. But when I know I'm going to do it soon and then I establish the attitude of looking forward to it, it's actually different.

[39:20]

Okay, someone else before we have an agreement, before we take a break? Yes. Here is also the aspect, the deep effect of the subtle inner language again clearly. For me, the subtle aspect of the inner language became clearer. I had to focus more the outer speech but the aspects of body, speech and mind inwardly. And this ongoing inner talk or speech, how influential this is on every plane. Just such a title or a word like quality is already like a break for that to get more attentive and taught these inner processes.

[40:43]

You know, I'm defined as a... What I do is defined as being a teacher. But I really, I mean, this isn't just a kind of rhetorical statement, I really don't have much to teach. I think to a gymnasium class I could say something to them if they invited me to come to a local school. But for people who have been practicing a long time, like most of you, really, unless there's... I mean, for me... It's about meeting and speaking. And in the meeting and speaking, I find something to say.

[42:15]

And that's one reason. Occasionally I've been Asked to speak in some situation where there's a large number of people, you know. And there's really no meeting, there's just them and I can hardly see them out there with the lights, you know. And I sit there, and I'm supposed to say something. I'm listed on the schedule, and I have absolutely nothing to say. I look at everybody, and I think, I'm not going to think about what they think, actually. They must think I'm a fool. And this has happened to me. And then I hope there's a lot of Andreases and Nikos and others who just ask questions and bail me out.

[43:29]

Yeah, this has happened. So I'm very grateful that we've developed this practice of meeting and speaking as a way of developing the teaching that we can practice. So let's have a break.

[43:55]

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