Oh, Nico, you're right. Oh, the Nico to this underground. Are the kids here, too? No. That's too bad for me. Nice for you, maybe. Next week. Okay. Okay. First, just before I came downstairs, Gerald called me. And he said Gisela had a bad day and night with a very high temperature. But her temperature is okay now. But the doctor recommends that they stay in that she doesn't have to go to the hospital again, present, but that they stay in Freiburg.

[01:01]

Monday, in any case, they have an appointment to get the staples taken out of the cut, and so they'll stay at least until that doctor's appointment. So instead of coming back today, they'll come back, hopefully Monday. No, I wanted to say that I met yesterday with... Most of the women who practice here regularly, I met with them. And they persuaded me that I should change my concept of the Sangha.

[02:06]

I persuaded myself rather inarticulately, but I also persuaded myself with their help. Well, it's not easy to persuade me of things. And for 40 years no one's been able to persuade me. So I don't know why these women are so powerful, but anyway. I think maybe if you understand the importance of the Sangha to me, you'll understand why it's taken so long to persuade me.

[03:24]

And maybe this won't even seem important to you. Because for you, most of you, the Sangha is something that you maybe take a little bit for granted. But as you know, when I started to practice, there was no Sangha. No idea of it or a possibility of it. And there was no practice. In fact, society actively worked against the idea of practice. Yeah, I mean, there's many examples in my early attempts to practice.

[04:42]

One which is an example is A large group of Jungian analysts in San Francisco came to me and said I was endangering my mental health by practicing. Maybe my mental health just looked bad to them, I don't know. But they said, Jung said, you can't start spiritual practice until you're 35. Even then, it has to be Western and not Asian. And after I tried to confront this... a threat to my mental health.

[06:04]

Then my new friend Graham Petsche arrived from England who knew Christmas Humphreys who was head of the London Buddhist Society in London. London Buddhist Society, which was the oldest, most established Buddhist organization in the West. And Christmas Humphreys, with that ironic name, Well, you have a couple of Christians practicing in the Dharma Sangha, too. Yeah, at least by name. And some by belief. Or experience.

[07:05]

Anyway, Christmas Humphreys warned Graham The head of the London Buddhist Society. More than five minutes of meditation can make you crazy. Everybody was scared to meditate. You didn't know what would happen if you let loose of your society. So Graham came to San Francisco by ship with his family. And he set his watch to five minutes, you know. He said even five minutes was hard because the boat kept rocking. Yeah. Then he came to visit Sukhiroshi.

[08:22]

And he waited in the office and zazen happened to be going on. He came into the office just after zazen started. In those days, only six or seven people at most were practicing. And while he waited, and quite a few five minutes passed, then he began to hear the stick being used in the Zendo. What? And he was on his way out the door when Suzuki Roshi came and intercepted him. And he had some idea that people were going crazy every few minutes and were being hit. And he had the idea that people were going crazy every few minutes and were being hit. You know, it was different in those days.

[09:32]

So I've had a sense from those days, independent of this kind of information, intuitive and clear sense that practice requires some space outside our society. When you establish that in yourself, and in your immediate activity. And I think I would say that maybe the root of my choice of practice goes back to a choice of, maybe I could say, fundamental time over derivative time.

[10:41]

derivative and often more productive time. In any case, I also saw that you couldn't really do this on your own. Sukhirashi represented not just a teacher to me, but also a sangha. Because he became a person within whose consciousness I could also establish my consciousness. It was easier for us to establish a consciousness separate from our societies together than it was independent.

[11:56]

So, and he, you know, both of us also, this isn't just pure spiritual motivation. Both of us shared a... political reasons why we want to separate ourselves from our society. He had much earlier than I had. Of course, he was older than I am. He had separated himself from his own society Because of the emperor and the war and all that stuff.

[13:24]

And because of the Korean War and the Vietnam War, I was also in nuclear weapons. I was also actively separated myself from the American society. So there were other reasons, but this also contributes. Okay. So I then had the further sense To continue practice in the West, we need the momentum and protection of a Sangha. We need what? The momentum and protection of a Sangha. Maybe in terms of fundamental time, I could say the inertia instead of the momentum. Maybe something that sinks to the bottom of society instead of floating on the surface.

[14:38]

I've had this strong, and I could even say fierce, feeling from those days. You had these fears? Fierce feelings. Fierce like a tiger. Or something like that. Because I saw the society as... Well, it's powerful. It's all those folks against one or two. Yeah, and you're choosing a way of life that's not supported by your society.

[15:38]

This is hard to do. But when I saw Buddhas like this one, This Buddha is actually important to me. Not because it pleases me every morning at service. Not only for that reason. But also because I used to see this Buddha every time I went to a particular Japanese restaurant. It was in a shop on display next to the restaurant and they shared a courtyard sort of a window. So this Buddha and many other Buddhas this one being 500 or so years old represented at least somebody for 500 years had been able to support this way of life.

[16:53]

Our society might not have recognized this way of life. But some people were able to choose it for over the centuries. So I shall support it by then. Statues supported me because I could feel the history they accumulated. But again, I also thought we have to have a sangha that is in the world but somewhat separate from the world. So up until yesterday, I have wanted the Sangha to be individual voices and communal voices.

[18:15]

And also, of course, voices of the representatives within the community, like the officers and so forth. But I didn't want to divide the voices of the community further than that. Because I thought the more we divide the voices within the community, The more society will come in through those voices. Or maybe this isn't so interesting to you. But it's certainly been important to me. And in fact... is concerned with the way we function as a sangha.

[19:48]

Is about the way we function as a sangha. Okay, so the voices I've identified in the past, in the Sangha, as the individual voice and the altogether voice. So that's, we've had, for example, house meetings and so forth, as a way of expressing that. And then we have staff meetings and so on. But the other voices I have noticed but have not institutionally acknowledged, especially in a larger sangha than this, are the voices of men and women couples families and children and they are actual voices in the community and believe it or not the most powerful voice in most western Buddhist communities is the family's voice

[21:23]

There's a lot of reasons for that. They're often, if they're living within the community, have the most to lose if the community changes. And often, many of the communities depend on couples. Gerald and Gisler are a good example. The two of them were the main continuity in Crestone and have been up until now the main continuity here. So the main voices actually are, again, men, women, families, men, women, couples, families, and to some extent children.

[22:38]

The next strong groups are actually gay men and gay women. And the next are maybe we could say some sort of conservative and liberals. And then there's the expansionists and the status quoists. They almost often have the biggest battles. Do we buy all the surrounding farms or do we not? Yeah, that kind of question. Shall we get another place nearby, more farther in the forest?

[23:42]

So those kind of voices are present in a community. And I've listened to them, but I've never given them institutional identity. They happen anyway, but we can give them meager acknowledgment. So I wanted each person to be present as an individual, but not as a member of a group. Because I thought, not only does it have the potential of letting the concerns of society in, but it also has the potential of dividing the Sangha. But now I was convinced yesterday and convinced myself that we ought to start with a more complex idea of the Sangha in the West.

[25:11]

as part of the commitment that men and women and young and old can practice together. So I think the women should continue meeting And I think even maybe the men should have a meeting now and then. I know it sounds funny, but let's do it. Since I'm not allowed to go to the women's meetings, maybe I won't be allowed to go to the men's meetings. Anyway, I want to experiment, you know, so let's... And an interesting thing about our Sangha is although Johannesof as a place has become more and more important, And more and more the cohesive center of the Sangha.

[26:31]

The most committed members of the Sangha are not just the ones who live here. So like Eric and Christina, who have left for the car train to Austria. Even though they're not here so often, still have a real voice here in this location. As do Beate and Nico. So we have some new idea of what Sangha is, but let's continue to work with it. Well dear, not much time left. You know, all these things appear in my mind as a little blip, you know.

[27:37]

But when I talk about it, it takes quite a long time. So that was one blip. Now the next blip, let's see what I can do and ten minutes or twenty minutes. Otherwise it will continue in the Sesshin. What I want to speak about is the de-centering, something like the de-centering of our sense of self. And I'll give you some lines of a poem that stuck with me from the time I was maybe 17 or so.

[28:38]

There was a refrain in a poem written in the sidebar of the front page of the New York Times review of books. I read it every Sunday. Every Sunday they had a poem down the side of the front page. And most of them, some of them introduced me to a poet, but most of them disappeared into, I couldn't recall them, even under deep hypnosis. But one of them, the phrase has stayed with me all these years.

[29:42]

And it's for the poisonous sea. And the cruel star. the one by day and the one by night, have charmed me. And I took charm to mean entranced and named, like have named me. It's taken me all these years to understand why these lines have stayed with me. You know, I wasn't so sure I liked poisonous and cruel.

[30:44]

Ich war mir nicht so sicher, ob ich vergiftet oder giftig und grausam mochte. Aber das Gefühl für das Meer und den Stern haben mir einen Namen gegeben. Die haben mich bezaubert, einer bei Tag und der andere nachts. stayed with me as some intuition which I couldn't quite... I didn't know how to act on. Okay. So you've been talking about the five ranks. And the other thing that has interested me is the difference between a an image and a symbol.

[32:15]

For example, these circles are not symbols. If you understand them as symbols, you don't get what it's about. But let's call them images. Okay, now, so a circle is meant to be experienced. Let's take the circle that you visualize in breathing.

[33:17]

I speak about this every now and then. So you don't want to breathe with your chest. You want to breathe with your gut and your diaphragm. And there's a lot of reasons for that. As you, the main reason, let's keep it simple, is the more the more deeply you're engaged in meditation. You want your breathing to continue and not be influenced by how deep your state of meditation is. Breathing may become extremely slow, but it continues.

[34:20]

And that doesn't happen as easily and it's more likely if you breathe with your chest. And chest breathing more often interferes with your ability to go deeply into zazen. Okay. So you imagine as you're breathing That your exhale is coming out into the air. In a kind of circle or oval.

[35:22]

And the inhale is coming in from down below. And then comes up and there's an exhale. And then an inhale. Now it physically feels like that. So the circle is not a symbol in this case. It represents an actual physical feeling. And a physical feeling tied to a visual image that deepens and stabilizes your breathing. Okay. It also establishes a circle. It establishes a feeling of a circle in the way you breathe. The feeling of a circle in the way you breathe.

[36:39]

So you've given a kind of reality to the circle, which also makes it not a symbol. It has an experiential reality. Okay. Now, as this circle begins to have an experiential life of its own, it becomes the track on which you come into a more subtle breathing. And sometimes this is called subtle breathing or subtle breath or subtle energy. Not really breath anymore, but it feels sort of like breath.

[37:52]

It's not so different from the feeling of breathing. It feels more like breathing, somewhat like breathing. So it's called subtle breath, but if you understand it too literally, that's not right. It's a subtle breath-like feeling that's rooted in experiencing your breath a certain way. And also the way breath and energy both permeate the body. So this circle, once it's an experiential reality for you, it almost on its own extends itself up your backbone.

[38:54]

Now we don't practice with our energy coming up the front and going down the back. And this breath circle of the exhale going this way also becomes the pathway, the same direction in which the chakras open up. In Zen practice. From the bottom up. Each one stabilizing. And through the subtle breath. Don't just move up the backbone, but spread throughout the body. So through this learning this stabilizing your breath through a visualization almost on its own it begins to open up

[40:24]

this pathway in the backbone. You can feel it coordinated with the breath as you inhale and exhale. And the circle opens up further into what's known as heel breathing. One of the practices of kin-hin, if I teach it more explicitly, As you lift up your heel with the inhale, you know you step forward on the exhale, and your feet are that far apart. You feel like the breath is coming in through the heel and up your back in this same kind of movement.

[42:03]

And through this practice you begin to feel your feet are in your mind. I mean in contrast to it being so common to feel your feet are down there. There's no down there unless you locate yourself up here. So strangely enough, through this actualized visualization, The whole body comes to feel like the location of mind. This is one of the practices that, not philosophy, Body and mind are the same or related or something like that.

[43:27]

Here we have various specific practices which actualize the relationship of body and mind. No, some athlete might actualize the relationship of body and mind in a different way. There are many ways. There are several yogic ways. This is one of the yogic ways. Okay. That's an example of a circle being not a symbol, but an experience. Okay, so we can have... I've been speaking about mindfulness thinking.

[44:31]

Now, if your legs are asking me to stop, I'm going to stop it a minute. And the other 84% of what I want to say will wait. Okay. Okay, so there's also what maybe we could call image thinking. Or visual thinking. Okay. Just for now, I'll give it to you in shorthand. There's mindfulness thinking, visual thinking. Mantric body thinking. Analytical thinking, discursive thinking. So we're kind of prying open thinking.

[45:48]

Like you open a can. And the direction words can have. Words can go toward language. Worte können in Richtung Sprache sich bewegen. Die können sich aber Richtung Körper, Objekt und Natur bewegen. Denn Worte gehören nicht nur zur Sprache. Die erste Definition in the English dictionary of thinking is to hold or formulate in mind. Now, as soon as it's thoughts, you say thoughts, you can't say, you can say, I had a thought, and you mean, you know, a thought.

[46:51]

But in the sense of holding in mind or formulating in mind, you can think an image. You can think with an image. In a way we've done that by bringing our heels into our mind through an image of a circle. So in a way we take this circle and turn it this way, horizontal in the world. and then I feel the circle including us now if I feel it as a circle then I can feel it as a center so feeling as a circle I can pull this circle into a center Or open myself into the circle or pull everything into myself.

[48:17]

So these circles of the five ranks are not symbols. They're meant to be a way you experience the world. The way you experience the world. They're not meant to be a symbol, but an actual way you experience the world. So it's a way of formulating the world in thinking through an image. There's so many ways we can exist. And this yogic culture has developed these kinds of ways. And I want to share them with you. And I don't want you to understand the five ranks as sort of symbols of something.

[49:31]

So the last thing I want to give you is Shido's experience. Shido, again, who lived from 700 to 790, and wrote the Sandokai, was enlightened when he heard the statements of Senjao, who lived several hundred years earlier, who said that heaven and earth and I share the same root. And myriad things and I share the same body. Now that statement hasn't It's a nice statement, you know, about God and heaven and something like that.

[50:42]

But it has no meaning in a yoga culture unless you can experience it. Unless it's rooted in experience. And Shido experienced heaven and earth and I having the same root. Literally, as some of you know, as a column attaching everything above to everything below. And you feel this column like you feel this subtle breath. This is a fact of some people's experience. Hearing this, suddenly, Shida was enlightened. And his expression of this experience is the Sandokai.

[52:05]

So this is one of those phrases we also work with. And as the basis of one and more koans. Heaven and earth and I share the same root. Myriad things and I share the same body. Well, that's more than enough for today. I'm sorry to take me long. It's more than enough for today. I'm sorry I took so long.

[52:52]

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