Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Do you hear me? Yeah, it should be a little louder. Okay. How's that? Oh, okay. It tickles though. There. Okay. Well, today I'm going to follow up This afternoon I'm going to follow up with Suzuki Roshi's, several things from Suzuki Roshi. Everyone is, I don't know about everyone, but I think most of you are familiar with Suzuki Roshi's talk about the waterfall. But before that, I'm going to follow up with some of his talk about transiency.

[01:15]

You know, we say in the Mahayana, samsara is nirvana. This is Nagarjuna's understanding, which is the Mahayana understanding, samsara is not separate from nirvana, which was the old paradigm. The old paradigm was nirvana is nirvana and samsara is samsara, and in order to understand or experience nirvana, you have to eliminate samsara. So you just keep cutting away. It's like, you know, if you have a branch and you want to make, and you want to get, cut it, cut, this end is samsara, this end is nirvana. So in order to get to this end, you have to keep cutting off this end, right?

[02:20]

And then pretty soon there's nothing left. So that's, samsara is separate. Nirvana is the opposite of samsara, or samsara extinguished. But here, samsara is nirvana. That's our understanding. So how do we understand that? So Suzuki Hiroshi says, the basic teaching of Buddhism is the teaching of transiency or change. That everything changes is the basic truth for each existence. So no one can deny this truth, and all the teachings of Buddhism is condensed within it. This is the teaching for all of us. Of course, we all know this. So wherever we go, this teaching is true. This teaching is also understood as the teaching of selflessness. Because each existence is in constant change, there is no abiding self.

[03:24]

In fact, the self nature of each existence is nothing but change itself. He used to say that the only truth that is not challenged is the truth of change. So there's no special separate self-nature for each existence. This is also called the teaching of nirvana. When we realize the everlasting truth of everything changes and find our composure in it, we find ourselves in nirvana. So composure, in a sense, composure, true composure is nirvana. The characteristic of, one of the main characteristics of nirvana is composure. People often think that it's happiness.

[04:31]

So if we keep thinking about nirvana as happiness, we miss the reality. Happiness is just a wish. we don't know what happiness is. We have happinesses, of course. We can be happy and sad, and our dispositions and feelings change all the time. So, composure is freedom from victimization. Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it.

[05:38]

Because we cannot accept the truth of transiency, we suffer. So the cause of suffering is our non-acceptance of this truth. The teaching of the cause of suffering and the teaching that everything changes are thus two sides of one coin. Subjectively, transiency is the cause of our suffering. Objectively, this teaching is simply the basic truth that everything changes. So Dogen Zenji said, teaching which does not sound as if it is forcing something on you is not true teaching. This is the basis of Zen practice. If it doesn't feel like it's forcing something on you, you're not completely there.

[06:40]

But because of our human tendency, we receive the teaching as if something was being forced on us. But whether we feel good or bad about it, the truth exists. If nothing exists, this truth does not exist. Buddhism exists because of each particular existence. So we should find perfect existence through imperfect existence. We should find perfection in imperfection. So I remember Suzuki Roshi saying, you're perfect just the way you are, but you could use a little improvement. That's a well-known statement. We don't try to change ourself, although other people might want to change us.

[07:46]

That's called teaching. But still, when we say no gaining idea, sounds like everything is perfect the way it is. Which doesn't mean that there's no improvement. It simply means that your striving is simply to be yourself. We should find perfect existence through imperfect existence. In other words, we should find some nirvana within samsara, basically, is what he's saying. Nirvana is so-called perfect existence. And samsara is called imperfect existence in this case. So for us, complete perfection is not different from imperfection.

[08:48]

There's this well-known story about the Zen master and the apprentice, and every day they would sweep the ground. And the apprentice was so particular about sweeping up every single leaf, and he became kind of a little bit arrogant that he was so good at doing that. And then the teacher came along after he had swept the ground, shook the tree, and all his leaves were falling down. So for us, complete perfection is not different from imperfection. The eternal exists because of the non-eternal existence. In Buddhism, it is a heretical view to expect something outside this world. We do not seek something besides ourselves. We don't seek for something outside or besides ourselves.

[10:00]

We should find the truth in this world through our difficulties, through our suffering. This is the basic teaching of Buddhism. Pleasure is not different from difficulty. If we understand that, we already understand nirvana. Good is not different from bad. Bad is good. Good is bad. They are two sides of one coin. So enlightenment should be in practice. That is the right understanding of practice and the right understanding of our life. So to find pleasure in suffering is the only way to accept the truth of transiency. Without realizing how to accept this truth, you cannot live in this world. Even though you try to escape from it, your effort will be in vain. If you think there is some other way to accept the eternal truth, that everything changes, that is your delusion.

[11:03]

This is the basic teaching of how to live in this world. Whatever you may think about it, you have to accept it. You have to make this kind of effort. So until you become strong enough to accept difficulty as pleasure, we have to continue this effort. Actually, if you become honest enough or straightforward enough, it is not so difficult to accept this truth. You can change your way of thinking a little bit. It is difficult, but this difficulty will not always be the same. Sometimes it will be difficult, sometimes it will not be difficult. If you are suffering, you will have some pleasure in the teaching that everything changes. When you are in trouble, it is quite easy to accept the teaching. So why not accept it at other times? It is the same thing. Sometimes you may laugh at yourself, discovering how selfish you are.

[12:07]

But no matter how you feel about the teaching, it is very important for you to change your way of thinking and accept the truth of transiency. So Four Noble Truths is the truth of suffering and how to deal with suffering. What is the cause of suffering? and how to deal with it. Do you have any questions? Or want to say something? Yes? You don't receive nirvana. Nirvana is not something you receive.

[13:10]

And it's not something you achieve. Although he may say something like that. I'll go back. Okay. Through suffering, yeah. still being at ease during the act of suffering. That's the suffering he's talking about that we have to accept, I think, rather than just suffering and not acting about it. Yes, well, of course. Yes, that's true suffering. When you're not, when you can't accept change or difficulty, that's true suffering. which we all go through. So it sounds like when Buddha is talking about, he says, I only teach the cause of suffering and the cure or whatever, or how to deal with it, right?

[14:25]

So everybody's looking for that. And that's samsara is divided from nirvana. Like if I only get rid of desire and so forth, I'll achieve nirvana, which will be happiness or bliss, whatever. Those things are not untrue, but to find, I don't know if happiness is the right word at all. Satisfaction, it might be better. satisfaction or, you know, the satisfaction that goes beyond happiness and unhappiness, the satisfaction that goes beyond all opposites, that's nirvana. So instead of trying to get rid of suffering, to be able to accept the suffering, which doesn't mean you shouldn't make some effort, but to look for the causes,

[15:31]

and let go of the causes. But beyond that, there is difficulty that you will never get rid of. There's difficulty and suffering that will never go away. And so that's the best kind, because you find your release. within that suffering. And when you can find your release within that suffering, that's non-duality. That's nirvana. It sounds like then karmic suffering is something that we can work on and living is suffering just that we have to deal with. And if we can go into a moment where I'm going to have a good morning and it turns into a bad morning, And then say, there's a redirection here for me. And I can be joyous in not being alone, as in being larger than myself, or whatever you want to call it.

[16:33]

And I can take that redirection and joyously go in a direction I have no idea. Well, that's still seeking for something. It's still seeking for happiness. I'm suggesting that we move, I don't mean... I understand. I don't disagree with what you're saying, but there's something beyond that, beyond happiness and unhappiness. that's more satisfying than happiness. It's really beyond happiness and unhappiness. It's being able to let go

[17:51]

opposites, not to get caught by attaching to anything which creates an opposite. That's nirvana. So I want to go to Suzuki Roshi's Nirvana. That's why Nirvana is not so easy to talk about. That's why we're here. What? That's why we came to this. Yes. Yes. So, I did have it marked here and I'll find it. Okay, so if you go to Japan and visit Eiheiji Monastery, just before you enter, you will see a small bridge called Hanshaku-kyo.

[19:12]

Have you ever been to Eiheiji? I've been to Eiheiji, but I didn't remember the bridge. I didn't know I was looking for a bridge. I don't remember that, but I probably walked across it. which means half dipper bridge, a water dipper. Whenever Dogenzenji dipped water from the river, I guess in those days, there wasn't so much pollution. Whenever Dogenzenji dipped water from the river, he used only half a dipper full, returning the rest to the river again. without throwing it away. That's why we call the bridge Hanshaku-kyo, half-dipper bridge. At Ehe-ji, when we wash our face, we fill the basin to just 70% of its capacity.

[20:18]

And after we wash, we empty the water towards it rather than away from us. So this expresses respect for the water. You know, Soto Zen, one of the basic tenets of Soto Zen is respect for things. That's why we're always bowing, you know, during our meals. We're always, we bow to everyone. We bow to the gomasyo, we bow to the server, we bow to, you know, all the time we're bowing. This is the teaching of respect for things. And we treat everything very carefully. And when we meet, you really meet. I was watching how people forget this. And someone will come in and bow to the chair or bow to the seat and turn around and bow. And it's like chickens picking up seed from the ground.

[21:23]

Buk, buk, buk, buk. Buk, buk, buk. There's nothing in it. It's totally, Just doing some formality, which has no meaning at all. So, respect for things is how you meet something, how you meet whatever it is that you're facing. Not only meet whoever you're facing and whatever you're facing, but also circumstances. to accept, meet circumstances face-to-face and deal with circumstances, not without turning away. So, Dogen, Suzuki-goshi said, this is beyond our understanding. True. You can also understand it as communion with the water, respect for the water.

[22:31]

We're going to have to start respecting water again. It was really great when we had the drought, using water and using it for various other purposes. reasons, instead of just kind of tossing it away. Whenever I see the water running down the drain, I think, wow, it's all going away somewhere. Sometimes we spend money like water, freely, without respecting it. It's the most important thing we have, is water. And we just take it for granted. Some people walk miles and miles to get a little bottle of water to carry back on their heads. That's all the water they have all day. So, our practice of Soto Zen is really to respect things.

[23:33]

Originally, it was just monastic practice. And when you have monastic practice, you're taught to respect things. But in ordinary daily life, because we have We just take things for granted because nobody's telling us to respect things. So this is important. He's telling us this for some reason. He says, this expresses respect for the water. This kind of practice is not based on any idea of being economical. It may be difficult to understand why Dogen returned half of the water he dipped to the river. This kind of practice is beyond our thinking. When we feel the beauty of the river, when we are one with the river, we intuitively do it in Dogen's way. It is our true nature to do so. But if your nature is covered by ideas of economy or efficiency, Dogen's way makes no sense.

[24:39]

So sometimes we get caught by efficiency. which efficiency is not a bad idea. But if it doesn't go beyond efficiency, then there's something lacking. I went to Yosemite National Park, and I saw some huge waterfalls. The highest one was 1,340 feet high. And from it, the water comes down like a curtain thrown from the top of the mountain. It does not seem to come down swiftly, as you might expect. It seems to come down very slowly because of the distance. When you look, you see the water coming slowly down. And the water does not come down as one stream, but is separated into many tiny streams. From a distance, it looks like a curtain, and I thought that it must be a very difficult experience for each drop.

[25:43]

of water to come down from the top of such a high mountain. It takes time, a long time, for the water finally to reach the bottom of the waterfall. And it seems to me that our human life may be like this. We have many difficult experiences in our life. But at the same time, I thought, the water was not originally separated, but was one whole river. Only when it is separated does it have some difficulty in falling. It is as if the water does not have any feeling when it is one whole river. Only when separated into many drops can it begin to have or to express some feeling. When you see, when we see one whole river, we do not feel the living activity of the water. But when we dip a part of the water into a dipper, we experience some feeling of the water. And we also feel the value of the person who uses the water.

[26:49]

Feeling ourselves and the water in this way, we could not use it in just a material way. It is a living thing. You know, it's like Toges says, a fish swims in the water without thinking about how far as the water extends. And a bird swims in the sky, flies in the sky, swims in the sky, flies in the sky without worrying about how the extent of the sky. When we're here breathing, we just think that the world of breath is infinite. So before we were born, we had no feeling.

[27:55]

We were one with the universe. This is called mind only, or manifestation only, or essence of mind. We use these terms, or big mind, which is all-inclusive. After we are separated by birth from this oneness, as the water falling from the waterfall is separated by the wind and the rocks, then we have feeling. You have difficulty because you have feeling. You attach to the feeling you have without knowing just how this kind of feeling is created. When you don't realize that you are one with the river or one with the universe, you have fear. Whether it is separated into drops or not, water is water. Our life and death are the same thing. When we realize this fact, we have no fear of death anymore, and we have no actual difficulty in our life.

[29:01]

When the water returns to its original oneness with the river, it no longer has any individual feeling to it. It resumes its original, own original nature and finds composure. How very glad the water must be to come back to the original river. If this is so, what feeling will we have when we die? I think we are like the water in the dipper. We will have composure then, perfect composure. It may be too perfect for us just now, because we are so much attached to our own feelings, to our individual existence. For us just now, we have some fear of death. But after we resume our original nature, there is nirvana. And that is why we say, to attain nirvana is to pass away. To pass away is not a very adequate expression.

[30:04]

Perhaps to pass on or to go on or join would be better. Will you try to find some better expression for death? When you find it, you will have quite a new interpretation of your life. It will be like my experience when I saw the water in the big waterfall. Imagine, it was 1,340 feet high. We say everything comes out of emptiness. One whole river Our one whole mind is emptiness. When we reach this understanding, we find the true meaning of our life. When we reach this understanding, we can see the beauty of human life. Before we realize this fact, everything that we see is just illusion. Sometimes we overestimate the beauty. Sometimes we underestimate or ignore the beauty because our small mind is not in accord with reality.

[31:08]

To talk about it this way is quite easy, but to have the actual feeling is not so easy. But by your practice of zazen, you can cultivate this feeling. When you can sit with your whole body and mind, and with the oneness of your mind and body under the control of the universal mind, you can easily attain this kind of right understanding. Your everyday life will be renewed without being attached to an old, erroneous interpretation of life. When you realize this fact, you will discover how meaningless your old interpretation was and how much useless effort you have been making. You will find the true meaning of life, and even though you have difficulty falling upright, from the top of the waterfall to the bottom of the mountain, you will enjoy your life. Yeah, yeah.

[32:13]

Does anybody besides John have a question? You have to speak very carefully because I have a little hard time understanding you when you speak low. That's what? Okay. Yes, yes. Yes, later we are living in another world. Yeah, I heard that. I am, for me, I mean, I'm not trying to be typical, but for me, it's kind of like it's very difficult, because what he's saying right now, if you want to listen to him, you have to go against the flow of society, against the flow of everything that we are living.

[33:17]

that what he is saying anymore, it is not good for us. I mean, I'm not saying there can be some more to our way, like this, I can come here, I can get saying, but then again we go outside, you see, it's kind of like the word efficiency, superficial, all these things, then it's kind of like, Yes, life is difficult. I know what you're saying. I think what you're saying is Dogen's understanding doesn't work anymore. What does work?

[34:22]

Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry that you feel that way. For me, I think it works. It works for me. Outside of what? Work outside of what? Outside of what? I understand. I understand. You know, I'm 80 years old, 88 years old.

[35:26]

I've worked all kinds of jobs outside of the Zen Center. I know what that's like. I've had all kinds of my own suffering outside of Berkeley Zen Center or any Zen Center. when I met with Dogen and Suzuki Roshi, they awakened reality and truth in me. But in order to actually, you can't get this just by thinking about it. You have to put your whole life force into practice. No, that's thinking. Without thinking. Without imagining. Without opinions. To just do it. Just do it. Just do it.

[36:30]

Yes. Yes, conflict is nirvana. That's just what we're saying. Conflict. Difficulty, your difficulty is your treasure. You see it in a different way. You have to be able to not lose yourself in your difficulty. Don't blame Dogon. No, you have to understand what I'm saying. Don't look outside for it. Look to yourself and your practice. The practice, this is called, I hate to say it, but it's called salvation. That's what you're looking for.

[37:39]

If that's not what you're looking for, then I don't know what you're looking for. You can't find something without giving yourself totally and completely. As long as there's something left out, that's a problem. When you give yourself wholeheartedly, then you can see what it is. But you can't see what it is just by thinking about it. Anyway, that's my response. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, because the literature wants to give you something to inspire you.

[39:13]

And so the literature says, perfect happiness, blah, blah, blah. Don't you want to inspire us? You know, my teacher said, if you sit zazen, you will sit zazen. He didn't talk about any effects. That's how I could believe him. He didn't promise anything. As long as you're looking for something as a promise, as a way out, you will not find it. It's only when you simply do the work, without looking for something that you will understand. I promise. So, let's say I'm doing something and something comes along and disrupts what I'm doing.

[40:18]

Yes. And my brain starts niggling on this feeling of Yes. Yes. You could do that. You know, I can't tell you exactly what you should do. Because you have to find out for yourself.

[41:27]

I can't. I can tell you what to do and then you'll come back to me and say, you told me what to do and look what happened. I'm not taking responsibility for your stuff. You're not looking for the pleasure in suffering. You're not looking for anything. You're simply taking care of the situation, you know, without attaching to anything. So, when you can do that, you are freeing yourself from your suffering. And that happiness is not something that you can go after. It's a result of something. Happiness is the result of our activity, not something that we can run after.

[42:28]

When you feel confident, you're happy. Confidence is happiness. But you don't go after the happiness before you do the work. This is what we always want to do. You always want the happiness, but you don't want to have to do the work. So we run after happinesses without doing the work, and then they just fall by the wayside. So true happiness is being able to not allow yourself to be a victim of your problems. And then you feel happy. But it's the result of your work. It's not the thing you run after. It's just an afterthought. Not an afterthought, but it's just, there are secondary results of practice. Happiness is a secondary result.

[43:31]

It's not a primary thing to work for. We just work for the sake of work. It's like the guys down in the, you know, where they used to have coal, tramp steamers, where the guys down there hold a shovel and coal into the burners to make the ship go all the time. They're not up there in the, you know, steering the boat. They're simply doing the work, the grunt work. And when you do the grunt work and you feel the satisfaction from the work, that's happiness. I don't even feel happy. But after many, many times of doing this, it can happen such that I hit that obstruction and I just don't have any reaction.

[44:35]

I don't have the unhappiness. And that is lobbying for the ancillary or the secondary gain of practice. Well, you can say, when you don't have, yeah, that's right. When you say, when I don't have the unhappiness, Happiness is there. So, happiness, I don't know, that's just such a charged word, but it's like enlightenment, right? You know, the best way to get to Carnegie Hall, practice, practice, practice. But if you have Carnegie Hall as the goal, it's harder to practice.

[45:39]

If you just practice for the satisfaction of practice, then that's a release of your energy, total release of your energy. when the goal is over here and you have to trudge to get to it, then it's not a total release of your energy, necessarily. Because part of you, you're disregarding the importance of what you're doing in order to get the prize at the end of the rainbow. You just do the work for the sake of the work. That's how things work. That's how it works. So people come and they do Zazen for a while, you know, and then they're not getting anything. Then they go away. That's okay. You know, this practice is not for everybody. It's open to everybody and encouraged by everybody to do the practice.

[46:40]

But not everybody takes to the practice because it's difficult. It's difficult to let go of everything and simply do the work without seeking something. Then you find out that the prize is in every step rather than at the end of the rainbow. As long as we have the prize at the end of the rainbow, our full effort is not in the work. You do something half-heartedly, you get half. You do something lazily, you get lazily. You get rewarded by whatever the lazy activity is. So whenever you put your whole heart into, that's the result. And it's very simple.

[47:43]

So if you want the most valuable thing, You have to pay the highest price, right? You can't get the most valuable thing without paying the highest price. I mean, we try to get by without paying. How much is this going to cost me to get enlightened? Well, you have to turn over your life to it. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it half-heartedly. You know, you can do something wholeheartedly even though you're not doing it all the time. It's just when you do it, you do it wholeheartedly. And then whatever you do, when you do something wholeheartedly, then whatever you do, the next step is also wholehearted. Then the next step is also wholehearted. But if you're only doing this wholeheartedly, then the next step is halfheartedly.

[48:51]

That's the way it works. So just what we say as practice is whatever you're doing, it doesn't matter if it's sitting zazen or walking down the street. If you do it wholeheartedly, that's practice. If you're not doing it wholeheartedly, it really isn't. It's not that you have to come every day and sit dozens and zendo wholeheartedly. Whatever you do, you're one with your activity. That's the practice. You're one with your activity. If you're not one with your activity, then you're always becoming a victim of your mind. We, people, you know, people victimize us. That's not untrue. But we don't have to be victimized. How do you escape from being victimized, from attaching to whatever it is that comes to you?

[49:52]

How do you find your freedom within the difficulty? Our political situation is so wonderful. Not. Every day, you know, how many times a day do you say, that dirty Trump? You know, because it takes over your whole being, the political. If it doesn't take over your whole being, congratulations. But how do you deal with When you see the whole world is going to start turning on its axis in a different way, it's going to change everything. It's all changing. Democracy is almost gone. We have to fight like crazy to keep it turning in a satisfactory way.

[50:59]

So this is real. How do we not allow ourselves to become a victim of that? Because if you're not paying attention, everybody has to pay attention without being a victim. When the world is going awry, this writer says, we should take a look and own it. And by owning it, we do what you're suggesting, which is accepting the difficulties. Yes, that's right. So, when I hear you saying that we should, it sounds like you're saying, Well, you keep saying acceptance is the practice.

[52:04]

Right. How can you say that? That's what I'm trying to say. It seems like we're getting off of that with Trump, like we don't want to accept Trump. I didn't say, oh. It seems like we don't want to accept Trump, and I think we should. You always have to accept everything as it is. You have to accept. That doesn't mean you have to like it. No. Before you can change, you have to accept what it is that you want to change. So we have to take responsibility for what's going on in the world. Without getting caught in preference, which doesn't mean that we don't have preference. But if we get caught by our preference, then it disables us.

[53:14]

The surgeon has to go inside and fix all these bloody organs without getting sick. you find freedom within the suffering. Well, suffering does exist. That's what we're talking about. It's practiced within suffering. It's not practiced aside from suffering. Without a problem, you can't practice. So, as Suzuki Roshi used to say, your problem is your jewel. The problem you have, you see, accept the problem you have.

[54:22]

That's what you have to practice with. Without the suffering, or the suffering is a little bit, covers everything, but without the difficulties that we have, or the problems that we have, there's nothing to practice with. So we don't try to solve the problem exactly, but we accept it and deal with it. It becomes, when we can do it that way, it's not the same as a problem because this problem is my practice. When this problem is my practice and I accept it as my practice, it has a different tone than when things just fall on me. We accept everything as our practice, then we're practicing all the time, and everything that comes up is something to practice with.

[55:30]

And so if we say, this is my practice, I have some detachment from it. I have some freedom from it, just by recognizing it as my practice. And I deal with it as practice rather than getting befuddled by it. we don't have some way to practice with our, to deal with our problems, then there's no, we just become victim of our problems. It's getting dark. Anyway. This is good, very good, thank you. I know that we don't like to have to deal with our problems. Because one problem, I remember also Suzuki Roshi saying, the problem, you may try, be careful about trying to get rid of your problems, your problem, because you get rid of your problem and you may just get another problem which is even bigger.

[56:46]

So, we have to respect our problems and accept them and smile. Smile. Take ourselves too seriously sometimes. This is the last question from Jed. Oh, good. Yes. Oh, tomorrow, tomorrow morning. I will talk. Well, yes, tomorrow morning. We continue.

[57:35]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ