Good morning. It's a joy to introduce Dartmouth's sister, Chinko Tsewa, Leslie Bartholic, as our speaker today. Leslie began her practice in Lafayette and in Green Gulch in the mid-90s, and came to Berkley Zen Center in 1999. She's been an example of unselfish, constant practice since that time. She was lay ordained in 2002 for Darwinian means, deep-lit, She's held most of the major positions here at this temple, including sharing the abbot's seat last year for our spring practice period where she embodied Ordinary Mind for us. Outside the gate, she's a special education teacher, an abbot backpacker, and a docent on Mount Diablo with a particular sensitivity to the sentience of the insentient. And we're lucky to have her walk on this cold rainy day.

[01:02]

Thank you, Andrea. On our patio bulletin board and on the BCC website, we post our affirmation of welcome, which states the following. Walking the path of liberation, we express our intimate connection with all beings. Here at Berkeley Zen Center, we welcome diversity. The practice of Zazen is available to people of every race, nationality, class, gender, sexual orientation, age, and physical ability. May all beings realize their true nature. Today I'd like to talk about Sangha practice. And I thought this was a wonderful opportunity here on a Saturday when so many of us gather together at this time.

[02:07]

I'm wondering how many people are here for the first time today? Everybody's returning. Oh, there's one. Great. Well, welcome. Welcome. And welcome, of course, to everybody who's here on this rainy day. I appreciate you coming out. So on Saturdays, some of us gather regularly at this time to hear a lecture and then gather outside or in the community room for tea and a time to chat with each other. And then some of us come earlier in the morning to do zazen, have service, have an orioke meal, participate in work period. And then others are the cooks that are preparing the breakfast. who have previously planned the menu and shopped earlier in the week. And there's the servers who care for the pots as they're bringing them over from the kitchen to the zendo for the meal. And then, of course, the dishwashers who wash up after breakfast.

[03:12]

All of these things we're doing together. And this is our sangha. This is sangha practice. The word sangha comes from the Sanskrit and the root of it means group, community, aggregate. Originally, it meant the disciples of the historical Buddha, Shakyamuni. And later, as Buddhism developed, it came to mean an order of monks that were practicing together. Currently, in our times, there are some sects of Buddhism where it still refers only to the monks and nuns that are practicing together. In our Zen tradition, it also includes laypeople. And also in Zen, we actually refer to our relationship with all beings, everywhere. And that you could refer to as our universal Sangha. Nothing's left out.

[04:16]

Everything in the world is part of it. There's a story that Akin Roshi tells about when he was in Southern California and a teacher was visiting him from Japan and he and his wife Ann were showing him around and they were out in the countryside and there was a hillside strewn with boulders and the Roshi looks at it and says, look at all these members, thinking this is all part of us. And I could really relate to that. Andrea alluded to the fact that I have a particular affinity it feels like when I'm out in nature to relating to what I'm seeing as I'm hiking and kind of appreciating each tree and flower and rock but also at the same time feeling very connected to them all. I started my Zen practice at home sitting by myself and I was actually quite content with this.

[05:24]

It can be challenging at times, but I was able to persevere and stay with it. I remember the first time then that I did go to a retreat with other people at Green Gulch. I was surprised at how supported I felt by sitting with other people and that it actually felt easier to do Zazen in this group setting. There was a kind of energy there. I was a part of and that just really seemed to be supporting all of us sitting together and it was something I hadn't felt when I was sitting at home by myself. When I began practicing here at BCC, I felt that energy, that group energy also. It was very strong and it was almost as if I felt literally supported by all these other people sitting here upright around me. And I felt that there was no way I was going to topple over or fall out of my seat with all these pillars around me.

[06:28]

So it's quite wonderful. Sangha is one of the three treasures of Buddhism. We have Buddha, our teacher, and also can be understood as the Buddha nature in all of us. Dharma, which is the universal law or truth. and Sangha, which is the community that practices together. Sojin Roshi sometimes likens this to a three-legged stool. Each jewel or treasure is a leg of our practice. If you remove one leg, the practice will collapse. The practice cannot stand on just two legs. So Buddha and Dharma are not enough. Suzuki Roshi called One Body, Three Treasures, All One Reality. We look to Buddha for guidance and the Dharma for the teachings to help support our practice.

[07:31]

And Sangha, I think we look to for how to do practice. Suzuki Roshi refers to Sangha as people who join the practice with harmony and unity. And then he further states that the word Sangha means not only Buddhist followers, but the actual state of harmony and unity. So I looked up the word harmony in the dictionary. One definition is accord or agreement. Another of the definitions is an interweaving of different accounts into a single narrative. And I think perhaps that's what we're attempting to do here at BCC. Zen is also a very individual practice. We each have to step in to practice ourselves. No one else is going to do it for us. And we each sit Zazen with our own body and mind and all that that entails.

[08:35]

And again, no one else can do that for us. And we are told that we need to find things out for ourselves, not to take someone else's word. even our teachers as the absolute truth. We learn that our way is not to seek the truth outside of ourselves. So how does Sangha play a role in this for us? There is a sutra from the Pali Canon in which the Buddha talks about this. It's from the Upadasuta translated as half of the holy life. Venerable Ananda said to the Blessed One, This is half of the holy life, Lord, admirable friendship. The Buddha replied, Don't say that, Ananda, don't say that. Admirable friendship is actually the whole of the holy life.

[09:36]

When a monk, or anyone else, has admirable people as friends she can be expected to develop and pursue the Noble Eightfold Path. And through this line of reasoning, one may know how admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. It is in dependence on me as an admirable friend that beings subject to birth have gained release from birth, that beings subject to aging have gained release from aging, that being subject to death have gained release from death, that being subject to sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress and despair have gained release from sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress and despair. It is through this line of reasoning that one may know how admirable friendship, admirable companionship

[10:41]

admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. For Buddhists, the Sangha is our group of spiritual friends. The Buddha states the need for practicing with peers who are also on this path and how that encourages our practice. These are our admirable friends. And he's also referring to himself as an admirable friend who helps us discover the release from our suffering. Zen is a very experiential practice. It's not about living a separate life in a cave somewhere. We learn that one of the three marks of existence is no permanent, unchanging, substantial self. And yet we have these bodies and minds that keep acting otherwise. I have an ego, and I have selfish desires, and I feel the need, often, to protect

[11:45]

this set of skandhas called blessing. Yet the Buddha's teachings is for me to let go of these attachments and let go of my cravings and self-centeredness and to learn to see the world as myself. And when we practice with others, that can be a way to learn to let go of our grip on ego and our attachments and our self-centeredness. Over the years, I've heard various teachers present the image of Sangha practice as a pot of potatoes boiling together, bumping up against each other, or a container of rocks of all shapes and sizes in a tumbler together, getting their rough edges smoothed out by bumping up against each other. So we're all in this together, and by bumping up against each other, We learn to see ourselves more clearly, I think.

[12:46]

So how does this work? Our actions affect each other. It affects other people. And this happens in ways that we can directly see how they respond to us. Other people can be a mirror for us. And it sometimes can act as an encouragement or as a warning in how we are living our lives, depending on how the interaction goes. In Mahayana Buddhism, we vow to live for the benefit of all beings. Living and working with other people is the way many of us choose, and this becomes our life of practice. I try to practice with being open to possibilities with each person I encounter. There is a passage from the novel Gilead by Marilynne Robinson that I particularly like. This story is about an older minister who is near the end of his life and he is recounting his life by writing it down for his young son to be able to read one day because the minister knows that he won't be around when his son is older.

[14:06]

And one time when the minister is talking about his life in the church, he says, every interaction I have with someone is a chance to practice my faith. And I think our practice is like this too. Our practice is about relationship. So I think we learn to not treat people and things as objects, but rather as part of ourselves. No separation. So how do we practice with Sangha at BCC? We practice in silence much of the time. Newcomers are told, just watch, and you'll figure out what to do, follow along during a service or a ceremony, and people will help you. And that's true. And we come to feel the support of others in the Zendo as we're sitting.

[15:11]

It's silent practice, but it also has a strong feeling to it. When I started coming to BZC, I felt quite alone. I started by coming to the Saturday program. And one thing that was very encouraging to me is that every Saturday that I came, either or both Ross and Dolly would say hello to me and greet me by name. And that was a real encouragement, connection, and I think it's part of what kept me coming back. And then I started coming to Monday Morning Zazen, which on most Mondays is followed by service and then a student talk. And the student talks are way-seeking minds where people talk about how they came to practice. And these talks are really encouraging. And I encourage you to try it sometime if you haven't. Because we get to hear a person's story about how they came to practice, what practice is for them.

[16:18]

And we hear about so many different kinds of experiences from different people. And it just is most encouraging. Also, as we practice here, we come to see how people work together to support the temple and our practice. When I mentioned to Sogen Roshi what I was going to talk about today, I said, is there anything you want me to be sure to include? And he just said, well, Sangha is about practicing for others first before ourselves. And others also means more than just people. It can include the pots and pans that we work with when we're in the kitchen, the plants that we care for on the grounds, the candles and flowers and figures on our altar. All these things are part of our practice here.

[17:20]

The first position that I was offered here was to take care of the Dokasan Hut. And I really loved doing this. In caring for it, I came to know each item in there. And as I handled it and cleaned it and put it back where it belonged. And this was such an intimate space, both in its space and also its purpose. And it was wonderful to be a part of that. As I was thinking about ways that we support our temple, I was thinking about last Saturday. This was a really good example of Sangha practice. After the lecture, it was like today, it was raining, so we had our tea and cookies over in the community room. And people were meeting each other for the first time maybe, or talking with old friends as they had their tea and making connections. And then after a little while, several people left to go up to the Sanaki attic to meet.

[18:27]

This was the finance committee. They were going to be discussing and planning the management of the finances that support our temple. Very important. And then in the community room, people started leaving to go on with their lives outside the gate, and they'd be carrying their practice with them wherever they went and whatever they encountered. And then there was another group that was staying behind to have a potluck. And these were the chidens who cared for our altar every day. After their meal, the chidens were going to be going to the zendo to get instruction from Sojin Roshi on how to care for the altar and how to arrange things on it. And then later they were going to have further instruction in flower arranging. Then some other folks started arriving to the community room. And these were the people in the sewing class who were sewing their rakusus for lay ordination. And they were going to be having tea and discussion about the precepts and then go on to have an afternoon of sewing together.

[19:37]

And at that point then, when the sewing class arrived, I left the community room and I went to the office to do a few tenzo tasks. So all of these activities were sangha. And it was people supporting our temple in various ways with great effort and great care. Working together, I imagine not always agreeing on everything, but finding ways to work it out. I sometimes think of Sangha as an organism that can shape-shift and reach out and includes a lot of different functions and people in many different places. And I don't want to ignore the difficulties that can arise in group practice. Again, we're practicing very closely here together. In the Zendo, we sit right next to each other. And we can get irritated by very small things or have major disagreements that can affect our practice and relationships.

[20:44]

I've had difficulties with others from the very trivial, like, doesn't the server know how to hold the water collection bowl? to things that are more challenging, that can be quite painful with interactions with another person. We've also had times as a Sangha that have been difficult when we came together to support each other during the illness and possibly the death of a dear friend or family member or a teacher that we know. And we've also come together at times to face difficult social issues, elections, wars, economic hard times. I remember on 9-11, a lot of people came for afternoon zazen and it happened to be the day of our All Sangha potluck and board meeting. And I think we had maybe a larger group than typical that day, people just wanting to be together. As we practice together, we can develop a real trust in Sangha as a whole.

[21:54]

So I think that when a difficulty arises, it's part of our practice to really face it and find ways to work it out and not turn away from it. During our monthly Bodhisattva ceremony and during ordinations, we have the practice of receiving the precepts. These include taking refuge in the three treasures in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. And what does refuge mean? A refuge is a place of safety and security where people go when they are distressed. And there are many types of refuges. I take refuge with my family and my friends. I take refuge in nature when I'm out hiking or stepping out into my backyard. And I take refuge with all of you. So, we take refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha as true refuges because they give comfort and security based on reality.

[22:59]

So, from the Dhammapada, which is a collection of Buddha's teachings, it says, they go to many a refuge, to mountains, forests, parks, trees, and shrines, people threatened with danger. That's not the secure refuge. That's not the highest refuge. That's not the refuge having gone to which you gain release from all suffering and stress. But when having gone for refuge to the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, you see with right discernment the four noble truths. Stress, the cause of stress, the transcending of stress, and the noble eightfold path the way of stilling the stress. That's the secure refuge, that the highest refuge. That is the refuge, having gone to which you gain release from all suffering and stress. In the introduction to our ethics guidelines here at BCC, it states, the intimacy of Zen practice, teachers and students,

[24:17]

Dharma friend and Dharma friend is a source of great joy in the Berkeley Zen Center Sangha. The Bodhisattva precepts serve as our guide along the path of right speech, right conduct, and relationships. Practice is based on trust, safety, respect, and true communication. The Sangha jewel is formed from such relationships. We offer these guidelines to nurture an atmosphere where people can practice without fear or distraction, where Dharma comes first. We have these guidelines along with the EAR Committee to assist Sangha members who do have significant difficulties with an interaction with someone or a situation where they need support. And in that way, we can support harmony in the community. When we chant the refuges at the end of Sashin, the refrain for taking refuge in the Sangha includes, may all living beings support harmony in the community, free from hindrance.

[25:28]

Trungpa Rinpoche talks about taking refuge in the Sangha. So taking refuge in the Sangha means being willing to work with your fellow students, your brothers and sisters in the Dharma, while being independent at the same time. Nobody imposes his or her heavy notions on the rest of the Sangha. Instead, each member of the Sangha is an individual who is on the path in a different way from all the others. It is because of that that you get constant feedback of all kinds, negative and positive, encouraging and discouraging. These very rich resources become available to you when you take refuge in Sangha, the fellowship of students. The Sangha is the community of people who have the perfect right to cut through your trips and feed you with their wisdom, as well as the perfect right to demonstrate their own neurosis and be seen through by you.

[26:34]

The companionship within the Sangha is a kind of clean friendship without expectation, without demand, but at the same time fulfilling. So we no longer regard ourselves as lone wolves who have such a good thing going on the side that we don't have to relate with anybody at all. At the same time, we must not simply go along with the crowd. Either extreme is too secure. The idea is one of constantly opening, giving up completely. there is a lot of need for giving up. I want to refer back to the affirmation of welcome that I mentioned at the beginning. Walking the path of liberation, we express our intimate connection with all beings. Here at Berkeley Zen Center, we welcome diversity. The practice of Zazen is available to people of every race, nationality, class,

[27:40]

gender, sexual orientation, age and physical ability. May all beings realize their true nature. Our practice is available to everyone. We are intimately connected to all beings and we need each other to find our way on the path of practice and the path of liberation. So everyone that walked through the gate today is supporting our Sangha practice. and we realize our true nature by this practice we do together. Thich Nhat Hanh says, I take refuge in the Sangha, the community that lives in harmony and awareness. He goes on to say, because of the problems facing the world are so great today, the art of Sangha building is the most important work we can do. So I'd like to stop here. Thank you very much, and I'd love to hear what you have to say or comment on regarding Sangha practice.

[28:49]

Questions are welcome too, but here we are as our Sangha, so it would be great to hear your thoughts. Andrea. Leslie, thank you very much for your talk. I wonder if you could say something or share something about how you've worked through a difficult interaction or difficult situation within the community for yourself? How do we glean that part of the damage? Well, I can think of a couple of examples where there was different ways of doing it. I think for me, one time I can remember when a difficulty arose And really what it was, it was one of those kind of psychic interactions where I wasn't really talking to the person, but I was not happy, you know, something was happening that my view was wrong.

[29:56]

That's part of the clue right there, my view. And I think because sometimes for me, stepping forward and engaging somebody about a difficult thing is not like the first thing I'm going to choose, because that's really hard for me. But in this case, I didn't do that. And actually, I kind of felt this thing in my head, or wherever it was, kind of dissolve over time. I'm still not sure if that was really what I should have done in that situation. It might have been better to have talked to the person. But in that sense, it did work. And I kind of just, you know, my lesson from that would be, oh, that was this mind formation of mine. And was there something else going on there possibly that I should have dealt with? But anyway, I think sometimes if I can see it as really more about what I was judging or having a hard time with because of my preferences, if I can get through that, then in that sense, maybe it's not always necessary to engage.

[31:12]

But there was another time that was very difficult and kind of kept growing and receding and growing. And then I went to different people to talk about it and to help me with it. And to talk to the person, I think that was, no, I'm sure there was, there were ethics guidelines then. I don't know if there was ear committee. Maybe there was something. I guess we've always had that. But anyway, it wasn't really that route that I went, but it was more there were people that I talked to about it that were able to help me with it. And we got through that. So that's one example. A couple of examples. Lisa. In that regard, I have the impression that people self-select here. and that when something very painful gets activated, often the person just disappears, and we don't see them, nor do we know what's happened.

[32:18]

And that is something I think we should all reflect on, as what other skillful means could we bring to bear when stuff like that arises? I reached out recently to a former Sangha member and said, why am I not seeing you? And until then I had not understood the pain that had been generated in particular interactions with two Sangha members, and both were feeling extreme pain for their own individual reasons, and they happened to trigger each other. That seems particularly... tender as a process. And as you know, as you're describing the tumbler of rocks, those are the hard, sharp places that are very sharp. So part of our practice is learning how not to run away, not to turn away, and sit with the pain.

[33:20]

But when, for particular reasons, two individuals' pain coincides, and it's just unbearable, I'm wondering, you know, how we could not lose those sangha members. I think that's a really good point, and it's always been painful to me when I see people leave, or you don't know that they're leaving, but they're not back, and maybe you've witnessed something, seen something happen, and you kind of know what it was, and other times not, and it is hard, so it's wonderful that you reached out and talked to the person, and that kind of thing could help. Possibly and then some people may come back and some may not and go a different direction, but Thank you Linda I've been hearing that this stone tumbling thing for years, you know for my Zen colleagues and Sometimes I think it's not very I don't know doesn't

[34:30]

get me going, that image. So, you know, I have rough edges and peculiarities. Do you think I really should get rid of them? No, there's rough edges and there's rough edges. We want you to be who you are. And I think it's a matter of each of us figuring out And I think maybe that mirror image is helpful because some of our unique ways of doing things we can see reflected back of, oh, you know, that was helpful. I learned something from that, from another person. Or if repeatedly I have the experience of expressing myself in a certain way and people are just no longer engaging with me, well then maybe there's something I would learn from that. what do we mean by rough?

[35:32]

You know, we need our... Well, that's maybe perhaps... Yeah, good point Linda, thank you. No, I agree with you. Because we don't want to all end up looking the same. I mean, that's not what we're after here. Because I think staying true to our, staying, you know, that being our own person and yet part of the Sangha, so working with those two things constantly, being true to ourself and whatever that means, right? And that, of course, being true to ourself includes the Sangha, so how do we manage that? But don't let go of the Linda qualities. So not that we can, but I think we can get that, in that reflection, we can get information that can help us from each other.

[36:33]

So thank you. Tamar? I also wanted to ask a question sort of following Lisa's question, which is, you talked a lot about Sangha today, but it's only one of the legs of the three stools. And I sometimes wonder if the people who come for a while and then leave, have kind of relied too much on sangha-like, you know, without seeing the Buddha and the Dharma piece as well. Because I think when people do that, you know, they may have some romantic notion about what community life is, and then when that's disappointed, they kind of, it can be hard for them to stay with this community and continue. I wonder what your experience with that has been. Thank you. That's a good thing to think about. Actually, from my point of view, what I think I've seen more often, and again, I think it probably comes in all these different formats, is sometimes people coming to practice

[37:52]

maybe for the Dharma and maybe for the teacher, but not really stepping into Sangha. And maybe we're saying the same thing. So thinking perhaps, you know, not really communicating with us all or joining in some of the activities or sitting Zazen together. And I think that they're all important and interwoven, but maybe it's good to look at all three and just see how that is. So, I appreciate your comment on that. And it is also maybe people first come for the teacher or the Dharma and then coming here, again, it can be hard to join in because it can seem like it's this group that already knows each other.

[38:55]

I mean, you know, I was talking about last Saturday, but I was very aware when I was in the community room, I was looking around and I really saw dyads everywhere. So there was actually and I now I'm fine with that, you know, because I don't have to be talking to somebody all the time. But there really wasn't unless I went up to join a particular. So it can feel a little uncomfortable at times for people that are here that are new or are just getting to know the place. And I think that's when it's wonderful when people do reach out and help. But I think your point is well taken, that finding ways to encourage people to practice with us. Thank you. Do we need to stop now? Well, it's 11 o'clock. Okay. I don't have much time. One more, so Jerry. I thank you for your talk and thank you for mentioning the Air Committee in the way that you did. For those people who don't know, the EAR Committee is the Ethics and Reconciliation Committee. That's what EAR stands for. But we like to think of it as there's an EAR for you.

[39:57]

And we've been talking a lot in the committee lately about really not being about ethical violations. I mean, we are about ethical. We do handle those. But most often when people come to the EAR Committee, it has to do with relationship difficulties. And often, The role we play is just talking to people about those difficulties, sometimes in mediation, or sometimes just coaching. But the committee is open for business, so that people know that. And we're on the bulletin board in terms of the members of your committee. The names are on the bulletin board. And so you can contact anybody. And it can be anything from a difficult interaction you just need a little coaching for, You know, just another place to go. And as I say, a lot of times we've been able to avoid any kind of real formal process just by having people be heard and then be able to learn how to talk about it.

[41:00]

Oh, that's wonderful. So it's kind of evolved. It's evolving in this way and we're kind of talking about being more out there with how it's evolving. Great. That's very encouraging. Listen, I saw one relatively new hand go up. Could we have one more? Sorry. OK. Yes. Hi. Hi. Thank you. Second time here. OK. Three years in. So how do we get involved? What are your recommendations? Why don't we talk afterwards? I would love to talk to you about some of the possibilities. That would be great. Thank you.

[41:34]

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