I love you, God, I love you, God, I love you. We're in the middle of, in a way, taking a month off at Green Gulch. Just stopping our usual work to try to reflect on whatever we were doing. What our lives really might be.

[01:02]

It's the second year in a way we've taken this month of January to practice this way. Now one thing that I've noticed is that activity and thought have within them a great deal of momentum. I see this in myself. If I have a great idea, pretty soon I have two great ideas, and three and four, and pages and pages of great ideas. And if I do one thing, then I see that there are a number of things that have to be done to deal with that one thing that I have done, and then all those things suggest something else that I could do, and many things. If I open my mouth and I say one sentence, pretty soon I have to say paragraphs and pages to explain that one sentence.

[02:09]

So activity and thought has a role of spiraling, making more of itself all the time, and pretty soon you can be pretty confused, spinning. There's an old saying in Zen, if you pick up one piece of dust, the whole universe comes with it. This saying is true in many ways, and this is one of the ways in which it's true. So one thought, one activity, and every thought leads to all thought and all activity. So on the one hand, each thought and each activity have a tremendous momentum, and everything rolls along with each thought and activity. And another way of understanding this is that each and every thought, each and every activity, includes all of thought and all of activity.

[03:25]

So you only really need one, actually, even though in reality or in actual experience, it's hard to remember that. And you do get tangled up, I know I do. So that's why it's nice to take a month, and more or less stop all that, and consider what our life actually is, who we actually are, and how our world really works. Because usually, I think probably most of us would agree, we're going on with our lives at such a great rate, where we haven't got much of a clue as to what's really going on, and what's most basically and most fundamentally true in our lives.

[04:26]

So Buddhist teachings are like little mirrors to help us see ourselves. And the real content of Buddhist teachings isn't words and concepts. The real content of Buddhist teachings is you and me, and the patterns of our life, the pattern of our life. So Buddhist teaching isn't anything in particular, it's just some language to suggest how that pattern is for us. And like with anything else, we can easily get tangled up in that language and forget the main point, which is to see our life with accuracy, and to live with freedom and kindness based on that accurate seeing. If we don't get tangled up, the teachings can really help us to see accurately.

[05:35]

They can set us off in some directions that will help us to see, and they can suggest avenues for exploration. And although in the end, it's only our own experience that shows us anything at all, the teachings can jog us a little and set us in motion. Our own experience is tricky, and often it's not what it seems to be. It's more subtle than we are able to see right now. So that's why we're probably going to need these little mirrors, or some kind of little mirror like that, so that we can look into the hard-to-see places, the subtle places. And that's why seeing intimately is going to take us, in a way, a grand seeing.

[06:47]

Because seeing is always seeing something outside. And we aren't outside. We're radically inside. So the deeper our seeing goes, the more it becomes a kind of a not-seeing, a kind of embracing, really, a kind of thorough loving, really, with our moment-by-moment experience. So this is what we're giving ourselves to this month. And the practice that we're bringing up is the practice of mindfulness, or awareness practice. And I think that mindfulness, or awareness, as the Buddha showed it to us,

[07:50]

really comes down to radical honesty, or root, or rooted honesty. The virtue of mindfulness, or awareness practice, is twofold. First, if we're going to take the trouble to be alive in the first place, which is, of course, a great deal of trouble, then we might as well be present for a life. What's the use? As far as I can see, I don't really see much use in taking the trouble to be alive and not taking up the challenge of being alive, not exhaling ourselves completely to live as full as possible and use the gifts that we have. I don't see why anyone would live that way.

[08:55]

It seems to me there really isn't any other way to go about this project of being alive. But of course, if we consider how we really live, we have to admit that we usually don't live like that. Why? Maybe we're lazy. Why are we lazy, though? I would say that we're lazy because a lot of times life isn't that easy. And I think we know in our heart of hearts that if we're really going to live our lives completely and fully, then probably we're going to have to experience some things that are scary, not so easy, maybe even terrible.

[09:57]

And maybe just as soon, avoid that part. So maybe more or less, without thinking this through, we have a habit of going to sleep as a way of avoiding what's difficult or scary or terrible. But, unfortunately for us, the parts that are scary or difficult or terrible are finally unavoidable. So now we're really in a fix, right? We're really suffering. Because we're kind of sleeping through our lives, we use our lives as an unconscious strategy to avoid life's difficulties, which we can't avoid. So they come up anyway. And now, because we have this long habit of unawareness, we're unprepared for the difficulties,

[11:03]

and so we compile the difficulties and we even extend them into places in our lives that don't have to be difficult. So this is the second virtue of awareness. It helps to see us through life's unavoidable difficulties by showing us life as it really is. Seeing things the way they really are, rather than seeing them in a distorted way, or not seeing them at all, is the best chance we have of being able to deal with them successfully. And this is exactly the way the Buddha practiced. And through the course of his practice, he was able to have a pretty clear view of how things really are. And so this month, one of our major endeavors is to study the Buddha's view of how things really are.

[12:12]

In a way, he couldn't explain it or say a single word about it, but he knew that it would help us if he put some language to it, so he spoke of it as the four noble truths. First, the truth that all conditioned things are inherently unsatisfactory. Second, that the cause of this unsatisfactoriness is desire, or maybe deeper than that, the cause is our unseeing habit, our lousy, unmindful habit. Third, that waking up and seeing for ourself the actual cause, we can end the unsatisfactoriness of our lives and find a deep and lasting peace.

[13:22]

And finally, fourth, there's a way to do this. There's a way to go about this. It's not just a good idea, but there's actually a method, a path, a way. So this is just a short and simple-minded statement of the four noble truths, and we're spending a great deal of time this month. Tenshin is teaching us in detail and with depth. So this last week, in one of my talks, I was trying to psych everybody up, and point out to people that this path of seeing, a radically, stubbornly honest effort to see no matter what happens, is a very American thing to do. It's a very American style. It comes very naturally to us, I think.

[14:27]

We're going to see whatever it is, no matter what, never mind tradition, never mind law, we're just going to see it. So I'm going to read you a quotation, this time from a book called Desert Solitaire. You know this book by Edward Abbey? He was an environmentalist and went out to live in the desert by himself for a while. And this is a little quotation from his book. This is a contemporary of ours. I think he's passed away now, but he lived in this period. He said, I am here not only to evade for a while the clamor and filth and confusion of the cultural apparatus, but also to confront immediately and directly, if possible, the bare norms of existence, the elemental and the fundamental, the bedrock which sustains us.

[15:29]

I want to be able to look at and into, and into a juniper tree, a piece of quartz, a vulture, a spider, and see it as it is in itself, devoid of all my humanly ascribed qualities, uncontent even in the categories of scientific description, to meet God or Medusa face to face, even if it means risking everything human in myself. And, of course, Abbey's great precursor in this very American project of going into the wilderness to see clearly abandoning human social conditioning,

[16:31]

his precursor in this was, of course, Henry Thoreau. Thoreau, who went to Walden Pond to do the same thing, and Henry Thoreau says in Walden, I came to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, to discover what I had not learned. I did not wish to live what was not life, living being so dear. I wanted to drive life into a corner and reduce it to its lowest terms, and if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and if it were sublime, to know it by experience. Be it life or death, we crave only reality.

[17:37]

If we are war-dying, let us hear the water in our throats and feel cold in the extremities. If we are alive, let us go about our business. So this is a very American attitude, you know, comes very naturally to us. I remember a long time ago, I forget what number I'm sure you've heard of, a curious, one of the most curious institutions ever, you know, in American life, briefly existed in the 1950s, called the House Un-American Activities Committee. What a curious thing, you know, to mention that. The House Un-American Activities Committee, which always struck me as a very bizarre phenomenon.

[18:42]

So, if awareness practice, as I'm speaking of it, and as I believe the Buddha spoke of it, is a very American, and of course very human, practice, in a way it's also very un-American. Because what's also really American is going for it, you know, grabbing it, exercising your greed 100% without restraint. Just grabbing whatever you can with your eyes closed, what the hell, that's very American. Very British way of going about things. So, in that sense, I want to tell you in the beginning that it could be that mindfulness might be subversive. You might get investigated if you practice mindfulness too thoroughly.

[19:49]

Because it might lead you down a path that will actually cause you to change your life in some serious ways, and to encourage, with all your heart, other people to change their lives in serious ways. So, that's my Surgeon General's warning. This product may cause you to turn the world upside down. So, mindfulness is this kind of powerful, deep, unexpected, risky process of being willing to go further all the time, and looking at what's really going on, no matter what happens. And most acutely, and most difficultly,

[20:53]

going even beyond who we think we are. Who we think we are quite often turns out to be one of the greatest hindrances to seeing what is actually arising moment by moment in our lives. So, mindfulness means not being pushed around by who we think we are, not being pushed around by our emotions, by our ideals, by our ideals, by our fears, and just keeping our eyes open and staying with what's going on. So, the very odd thing

[21:54]

about mindfulness practice is that probably the best and most effective way to stay with and see what's really going on in ourselves and in the world, around us, is to look at the body, to be within the body. It seems like an odd way to go about it, but actually it's a very effective way, the basic way. Because if we try to look somewhere else, it's very easy to bring up desire and expectation and complication. And when that happens, there's distortion. And mind and emotions get tangled up. But when we go to the body, which is very concrete and not quite as tricky as the mind,

[22:57]

although it has its own tricky side, but not quite as tricky and quicksilver-like as the mind, then we can get a better handle, get more grounded, see more clearly. And paying attention to the body has the effect of calming us down, which is necessary if we're going to see anything. So the practice of mindfulness, as the Buddha teaches it in the Mindfulness Sutra, begins with the practice of awareness or mindfulness of the body. And I'll read you a little part from the Mindfulness Sutra about awareness of the body. This is the Buddha talking here. And how monks, does one dwell practicing awareness of the body in the body? Here a monk,

[24:01]

having gone to the forest, to the foot of a tree, to an empty place, sits down cross-legged, and keeps her body erect and mindfulness in front of herself. Just mindful, he breathes in, and mindful, he breathes out. Breathing in a long breath, she knows, I'll breathe in a long breath. Breathing out a long breath, she knows, I'll breathe out a long breath. Breathing in a short breath, she knows, I'll breathe in a short breath. And breathing out a short breath, she knows, I'll breathe out a short breath. Conscious of the whole body, I shall breathe in, thus she trains herself in. Conscious of the whole body, I shall breathe out, thus she trains herself. Calming the body, I shall breathe in, thus she trains herself. Calming the body, I shall breathe out,

[25:05]

Thus, she trains herself. That's what it says about practicing awareness of the body. It starts with the oddest, who would expect, you know, just consciously breathing, mindfully breathing in, mindfully breathing out, mindfully breathing out. The breath is a pretty basic thing, don't you think? Pretty simple. In a way, the breath is the most concrete thing there could be, and in a way, it's the most evanescent thing there could be. All day long, we breathe in, and then we breathe out, and then we breathe in again. Air fills the bowels of the lungs,

[26:08]

and the blood flows through there, enriched by the oxygen that we take in. Then this enriched blood is pumped by the heart muscle through the whole body, all day long, all night long, and allowing our life to go on in exchange of air. And air is really something, even though you can't see it, it's really something that's there. And you can feel air in your belly. Right now, if you wanted to, you could feel air in your belly and in your chest and at the tip of your nose. And air is the skin of this planet. The planet is enveloped in this air

[27:15]

that sustains our life. This air that actually mixes in with the soil of the planet to produce an environment in which stuff can grow that will sustain, along with air, all the creatures that live on the surface or in the air. So doing it is a pretty basic, fundamental thing. On the one hand, it's very, very simple, because it happens constantly without our even knowing about it, thousands, millions of times in our lifetime, in our day, in our week. A PhD in physics knows, and somebody who isn't very smart at all knows probably just as well, or maybe even better. So it's pretty simple. On the other hand, it's enormously complicated.

[28:18]

When we move, we're in contact with the entire planet, past, present and future. And the moving process involves hundreds of organs in the body and thousands and thousands of chemical changes. Very complicated. And also, moving is very rhythmical. We're patterned. It's a deep, structural pattern of this breathing that's deeply rooted in our psyche. Breathing is taking in and giving out. Breathing is accepting something and offering something. Breathing is purification and pollution. Breathing is living and dying.

[29:22]

So this pattern of breathing connects us to something very intense and very primitive and very deep that's going on in our lives all the time. Something that on the one hand is us, is the particularity of us, and on the other hand is something much, much bigger than us. And this big, simple, complicated, primitive, inexplicable pattern is going on all the time, in us, each and every moment of our lives. So to be aware of breath is to connect with all of this, to let go of our little concerns and our little confusions and tap into something very real and universal and profound. And poets, you know,

[30:28]

who express the deepest concerns of our life know about breath. In school they teach you about Iambic pentameter and the trochee and the dactyl and all these things, but don't believe them when they tell you that. Where the palm is measured by the breath, by the physical breath and by the heard breath in the poet's ear, in all of our ears. So let me read you one of my favorite poems of Eroica, writing about the breath. Breathing, you invisible palm, complete interchange of our own essence with world space, you counterweight in which I rhythmically happen, single ray of motion

[31:31]

whose gradual sea I am, you, most inclusive of all possibilities, space ground one. How many regions in space have already been inside me? There are winds which seem like my wandering sun. Do you recognize me? Air, full of places I once absorbed. You, who are the smooth bark, roundness and leaf to my roads. So you see I'm a big fan of the breath. I've been studying the breath for many, many years.

[32:31]

In classical meditation texts, it says that the breath is a very good meditation object for people who are excessively given to the distraction of discursive thought. It's funny, whenever I say that, it always gets a laugh. You wouldn't think it was a joke. But it always gets a laugh. I guess, like all good jokes, a laugh indicating recognition. A long time ago, you know, a thousand or two thousand years ago, there was just life and death and food and sex and air and water and sky. Now there's all of that plus history, psychology, sociology, technology, television, education, law and order

[33:37]

and a tremendous, tremendous density of people and information. In other words, there's a whole lot more to think about now than there used to be, which is why I think most of us, our minds are spinning all the time. It's hard to find a quiet place anywhere. And with our minds spinning, we often don't have a clue whether we're thinking at all or what we're thinking about. So I think most of us do have the problem of excessive, discursive thinking, and that's why the breath might be pretty good to calm us down and bring us to awareness, bring to view what's actually going on. Logically, you know, we might think that to sit down and be conscious of breathing would not be a way of being aware of your whole life. It would be a way of avoiding it. Right? Don't think about anything, just breathe and avoid

[34:41]

everything. But of course, being with the breath is the opposite of avoidance. Just like people often think, if only I could come to this nice green lunch where everything's peaceful and avoid all my problems, escape from the world. And of course, when you come, it's just the opposite of that. When we practice awareness of breathing, we come back over and over again with devotion and a great determination and a strong intention to the breath. But we do that not with a sense of tightness and repression, but with an open feeling. So if thoughts or emotions arise, we know that. We're not trying to prevent that. And we pay attention to what arises. But right away,

[35:44]

having paid attention, we come back to the breath. Not spinning our thoughts and our emotions and pursuing them and investigating them, but just coming back to the breath and allowing them. Because when you investigate and spin your thoughts and emotions, you get tangled up. And when you get tangled up, you might think you're looking at something, but in fact, you're just twisting and you're not seeing. And when you come back to the breath with this sense of openness or spaciousness, letting things go moment by moment and allowing things, then you actually see much more acutely what's really going on. The pattern of things begins to come into view. I say that you can see what's going on, but that's not a very good way to say it, because that kind of sounds like control and possession.

[36:48]

I can see what's really going on. No, what really happens is that what's going on is finally being allowed to unfold in us, actually being allowed to appear in us without distortion. So the sutra tells us how to go about this. A monk goes to the forest, to the foot of a tree or an empty place, sits down cross-legged, keeps the body erect and mindfulness in front of him. In other words, you clear a space and you decide and intend to do this. So, maybe we can't

[37:52]

go to a forest and sit at the foot of a tree, but we can clear a space of time in our lives, or a physical space in where we live, and take care of that space, and take care of that time, and create and reinforce our intention to sit with the breath. And that kind of preparation is very, very necessary to sit, whether we feel like it or not, to sit with some clarity and regularity. The monk says, crosses his legs with his body erect. This means that we sit with alertness with presence,

[38:53]

not relaxing in the sense of going to sleep and being lazy, but really waking up. Then he says with such deceptive simplicity, breathing in he knows he's breathing in, and breathing out he knows he's breathing out. And there are many ways of practicing with the breath, of course. The only way is simply to be aware of the sensation of the breath in the abdomen, maybe you can notice now as I'm speaking, breathing in, and you can notice breathing out.

[40:01]

And if you use your creativity and your energy of your life to be aware of the breath, you can make the breath more vivid and more alive and an object of interest, and really be with it throughout breathing in and throughout breathing out. And when you establish a powerful embracing of the breath in and the breath out with awareness, you can, using the breath, be aware of the whole body

[41:10]

and posture, as you breathe. As the sutra says, aware of the body, she breathes in, aware of the body, she breathes out. Calm in the body, she breathes in. Calm in the body, she breathes out. . [...] Any other sensations or motions, thoughts, or eyes noticing and coming back to the anchor of the breath? . . .

[42:32]

So, really what I'm trying to say today is, please aware yourself of this wonderful practice that I personally have found so valuable in my life and many others have found very valuable. Taking the breath as your teacher and taking mindfulness of the body and of your whole life as your teacher is a path that takes courage, I think, and a serious determination and a kind of confidence in the basic rightness of your own life. And it's a path that

[43:51]

is very open and very unknown and may call forth the qualities in us that we know we possess. And all of this might sometimes feel a little scary. But I think that if you reflect carefully and seriously on your life you will see that there really isn't any other choice but to find some way to try one's best to live fully and honestly. Our world, our life is literally giving us a chance to step forward and respond. And each one of us has to find a way

[44:54]

to respond, and this is a good way. And this need to respond is our human tragedy, our human opportunity, our human destiny, and our joyful challenge. And fortunately we have each other to encourage us and support us on the way. So that's all I have to say for this morning. Thank you. So this is the discussion period, time to bring up whatever practice issues are on your mind

[45:57]

and we can all discuss together and help each other out here, maybe. So, what would you like to bring up? Could you talk about mindfulness in relationship to staying aware of your thoughts, bodily sensations, and your emotions during the day? Sure, let's let some of these folks sit down first and then... Okay. So,

[47:21]

Martin started us out with a really good question, but we could easily spend the whole time on this morning and I'll give some response to it, but I will invite others also to speak of their experience. He asked, could I speak about how to be mindful, not during meditation practice particularly, but during the rest of the time, how to be mindful of bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts? So, a couple of things I can say in response to that. First of all, the idea that I'm going to be mindful of my thoughts and emotions and not let a single one pass me by that I'm not aware of is probably

[48:23]

a bad idea, probably a bad thing to try to do. Because as I said in my talk, if you try to do that and you expect that you'll do it, then right away there's desire, there's judgment. So, the Zen method is not to try to do that at all in a way, but rather during the day to be aware of our activity and to focus more on awareness of the body than anything else. In other words, to bring yourself back over and over again to the present moment. So that's why in Zen work is so important, particularly physical, simple physical work is really emphasized. In the early days of Zen practice, the Zen people broke with the prevailing tradition, actually, by introducing work into the monasteries as a varied practice.

[49:26]

Because before that, the monks would beg. And it's an interesting historical fact that in India, where the monks begged, Buddhism died when the people stopped supporting the monks after a while because of political conditions. In China the same thing happened. The government stopped supporting Buddhism and the people stopped supporting Buddhism, but the Zen school was the only one that survived because it worked, the people worked, and they supported themselves, and they survived. So, just to return to our daily task, whatever it may be, and do what we're doing with full awareness and a sense of spaciousness and openness about it is the best way to be aware. So it's not like rather than practicing like this, I'm going to be aware of my thoughts and emotions ready to practice, I'm going to be present, I'm going to just be here and when I'm not here, I'm going to make an effort to come back.

[50:29]

And that way, when we do that, when I've been a part about it and a part of a vision about it, then we will, in the course of doing that, notice thoughts and emotions. And it's not necessary for us to analyze ourselves or pick over our every thought and our every emotion. What we need to know, we'll know. This is some faith in the method. What we need to know, we'll find out if we just come back to what we're doing now. So, like me, I've got a million things to do. If I try to remember all the things that I need to do, I go crazy. So I forget it, you know, and just pay attention to what I'm doing now. And more often than not, that thing that's very important that I need to do pops into my mind. Oh, I've noticed that, yeah, better do that. So work with some faith in that. Because, you know, awareness can usually sound like control and possession. I'm not going to be aware of everything. All my thoughts, all my emotions, I'm going to be aware of it. I can control it, I can make it into a Buddhist thing, it's going to really be enlightened, it's going to be this, it's going to be that.

[51:33]

But it will make you crazy. So better off just coming back to the present moment, being here, abandoning all thoughts and emotions. And then, but being open to what actually arises. So it's a little bit like walking around in the dark. This way of practicing mindfulness. Just being open to what arises. I think that's, I find that to be the best method, and not trying too hard to look at every little thing. Because, you know, it's confusing to try to look at everything. Yeah, Andrew. So, and also it often has kind of a strategic

[52:34]

bent to it. Okay, I've got a plan out for the next two weeks. What are my goals, and how can I prove that I've achieved them? And it would be great to bring mindfulness to that. It seems like, again, you know, where's the anchor? You know, it's about the physicality of calling, and the kind of overt attention to goals and desires and all that. How can you be mindful? Yeah, well this is advanced practice, right? And as I often say, you know, here in Greenbelch, we have that kind of work too, of course. And we have two modes of work. One is the one that I spoke of a moment ago, this very simple physical task that you bring mindfulness to over and over and over

[53:38]

without trying to analyze and take over every thought and emotion, but being aware of what arises. And that's a simple one for work where you just work until the bell rings. It doesn't matter particularly how much you accomplish, you're not responsible, and then the goal, you're just cutting carrots or you're just honing, or just whatever. That kind of work is really good training work, and we all practice that kind of work from time to time, and it's the typical and most effective Zen kind of work. However, when there's no way, we're good, and then we also pick up with some sense of joy and challenge this other kind of work, where you are involved with goals and plans and thought and so on. And hopefully, in our system of practice, by the time you pick up that kind of work, you have done a great deal of the other work, and you've trained in the other kind of work, and in our system of practice requires that people, even somebody who is a, if somebody comes here

[54:43]

who's a very, and often happens, you know, somebody will come and say, I've had this 37 years experience administrating an organization and so on and so forth, and I'd like to come here and live here and be the director or something. So that's a little good idea, but maybe first you should work in the kitchen for three years, and then after that, work on a farm, and then after that, see what you think about it. Because it's good to have that kind of training under your belt before you do this other more complicated kind of work. But when you do that kind of work, you can still practice mindfulness. For instance, in the case of making goals and plans, noticing how it is that we immediately identify with and become attached to our goals and plans, feeling in the body and mind how, what is. So that when I'm doing something, planning something, and I notice that I'm believing and attached to the goal, or attached to the

[55:45]

identifying with the goal, or if something happens to cross me, I notice my instant tightness and my negativity arousing in relation to that, and as soon as I notice that, I can see, oh, this is because of holding my goal too strongly, so let me let go. Like that. And most administrative work or non-physical work involves a degree of communication. You're talking to someone or listening to someone, and there you can really practice awareness of right speech. How often when we listen to somebody, are we really just stopped on the first or second word, and now we're thinking about what we're going to say, and we're not listening. So can you notice what it feels like to actually let go of any self-environment and just listen to the other person? And when we speak, are we speaking kindly? And what's it feel like when we don't? What's it like when we are short-tempered, or when we have a grudge against someone,

[56:49]

or when we express in subtle ways our disrespect, dislike for someone? And what happens to our mind? What happens to others' reactions to us? We can study these interpersonal factors that will arise in that kind of work. They arise also in physical work too, but in that kind of work, which is more interactive and more personal, they arise even more frequently. And then you can also practice mindfulness in the body, because even if you're sitting at your computer all day long, still you have a body, right? It's not like you put it outside, we haven't gotten to that stage yet in technology. Still, you're in your body. So you can stop and breathe, take a breath, and be aware of your posture. No matter what your work is, you can do that, even though, as I say, you're not focusing on that moment by moment, perhaps, because you have to turn your attention to other things. You can take a one-breath break. And sometimes you can even spread

[57:52]

your attention, even, to your body and your intellectual activity. You can do that. You can actually be aware of your body. Like now, I can be aware of my body as I'm speaking. It's possible to do that. So sometimes you can turn your attention in that way. The craft of awareness is a big... That's why I say we could spend a whole evening, spend a whole time on this, and many people could have things to contribute, because this is a craft, and there's a lot to it, and lots of new angles, and it's very situational, and many ways of going about it, and so on. And many, many... Awareness opens out to our whole life and our whole world. Lots of ways of looking at it. So anyway, I don't know if that helps a little bit. Yeah, Christina? I find it really hard to be aware when I have a time limit, and there are things that need to be done, and

[58:56]

I've never had time to try, so I started going ahead of myself, and just following my life, and how it activates, and kind of grasping things. Well, if you study it, you'll probably see that doing that doesn't save you time, right? Probably not. Being aware is just as efficient as not being aware. Probably more efficient. But when you see that that's the case, your mind is running away with you, and you are getting nervous, and feeling the time pressure, or whatever other kind of pressure that you're feeling, then you're aware of that. You're aware of how your mind is skipping other things, you're aware of how your mind is racing, and you pay attention to that, and you pay attention to the consequences and causes of that. And you have to be patient, because your habit of doing that is strong, and you'll continue to do that for a while, but the more you see that it's really right to do that, and the more you see that actually it's not helping you.

[59:59]

Because I knew this too, and I find my own experiment, the results of my own experiments are that when I rush ahead like that, and feel time pressure, that it doesn't help. In other words, I'm not getting things done better. In fact, it's exactly the opposite. That when I notice that I'm doing that, and I take a breath, and I say, well, now I'm doing this, this is making my activity unpleasant, and also I'm not doing as many things as I need to do, and each thing I'm doing is not as nice as it should be, because of this, I can stop, and slow down a little bit, and then things go better. And after all, remember that eventually the whole world will burn up. Right? So, at that time, what's the difference? I remember that a lot, actually, and if you don't want to remember that, then you can just remember that soon you'll be dead. And at that time, what's the difference?

[61:02]

Whether you have accomplished this or not. So the hardest one, of course, is when there are other people involved, and you're accomplishing this, if you don't accomplish it, somebody will be upset. If you do accomplish it, they'll be happy, and you want them to be happy. So you're in touch with that, you're aware of that, but still, dead and dead too. So, not to say that, so we try to accomplish that thing, and we try to make ourselves and the other person happy, but we remember that in the big picture, you know, better what we should become, and not have all that we think we need, and have some sense of dignity and beauty about what we're doing, than that we should get all the things we think we're supposed to accomplish, and that we think we need, and do, you know, kind of like a very wild and a mess, and mad at each other, all the time. So, one way of looking at mindfulness is remembrance. Remembering the basic facts of our life, and not forgetting.

[62:06]

Not getting involved with the small things that we think we are, and remembering the big picture, the big pattern, the real facts. The real facts, basically, are that we're born and we die very quickly, and what the most important things in our life, the most important things that sustain our life, are going on all the time, no matter what we do, or don't do. So when you don't forget that, then this gives you a certain perspective on what you're doing. You don't have to worry so much. So in the meantime, you study your worry, and the consequences of it, and the causes of it, and eventually, through that study, you will more and more frequently remember this other bigger picture, and then, pretty soon, you'll start living that way, and extending that more and more, and still, once in a while, having the same problem, and looking at it. I think this is a question we all have.

[63:07]

So, something else? Yeah? How do you practice awareness when you're overwhelmed with emotion? Well, how do I practice awareness when I'm overwhelmed with emotion? This is not a regular occurrence in my life, when I'm overwhelmed with emotion. But certainly, I mean, I feel emotion, and there have been times in my life, in the past, and I'm sure there will be times in the future when I will be overwhelmed with emotion. And if I'm overwhelmed with emotion, I'm aware of that. I know that when I'm overwhelmed with emotion, this is not the best time to make important decisions, not the best time to do complicated things. I need to acknowledge that and take care of that. So, I will, and there have been times in my life when this was the case, sometimes you can be overwhelmed with emotion for a period of time that can go on

[64:13]

for a while, right? Not just a minute or an hour, but it could be a week or a month. So those are the times to say, wow, what a challenge. Causes and conditions are arising to produce this mind. I must be approaching a limit of my understanding here. Right? That's it. Why else do we feel emotion? Because we feel a tremendous attachment, our identity is challenged, our sense of what we think we want is challenged. So we realize when we're in that state. So now I have to take care of myself. Just like if you were quite sick physically, you wouldn't think of getting up and going around doing things. You wouldn't go to bed, right? The same thing if you have, you would be set by this kind of strong emotion, then you would really, given the practicality of your situation, take care of yourself. Simplify your life. Be quiet. Exercise. Eat simply. Clean your room. That's my big one.

[65:15]

This is my great Zen wisdom. Clean your room. Literally. Get into it. Very important practice. Clean your room. This is what I focused on in my darkest and most difficult hours. Clean my room. Put things away. Wash my clothes. And so on. And then just try to maintain your life until the causes and conditions that produced the emotion pass. Because definitely they will. This is guaranteed. Any emotional state you're in, I will guarantee you with absolute certainty that it will pass. Eventually. I'm not saying when. But it will pass. So you know that. But what happens, of course, when we're in those states, is that that's when we run around like crazy trying to make them go away. Which then creates more conditions for more emotional difficulty. So you recognize that that's not going to help. So you just straight ahead, practicing with it. Calmly as you can.

[66:16]

And then eventually it changes. And one of the features of strong emotion is that along with tell me if you, and this is your experience too, you are feeling this powerful emotion and then you think, this will never go away. Right? You think, I'll never get over this. This will never go away. Yeah, that's fear. So that's another emotion. But you need to recognize this thought is just foolish. It's uncomfortable and foolish. And then you pay attention to washing the dishes and so on. And you just ignore it. I mean, if we had the miracles, we would, you know, buy the best seller and make a lot of money and everybody would be happy, right? But they're not. Obviously it takes work and we have to endure a certain amount of trouble because there's a certain amount of trouble in this world and in our lives

[67:16]

and you can't get around it. So we recognize that. I just think we're lucky that we're being as well as we are. I always think that in my life. Oh, I'm so lucky. I'm doing as well as I am. Something's going to happen anyway. Sometime. Oh, here it is. Just as I thought. Somebody in the back there, yes. When you say do the dishes or clean your room, do you mean that there would be some danger of being avoided? Yeah. Well, that's what I was saying when I was discussing the breath. You think that if somebody says to you, what's the best way to be aware of your body and mind and all that's your life is? Sit and with full attention to each breath. That certainly sounds like, wait a minute, that's the opposite. You're avoiding everything. You're sitting there and, you know, that's neither of those things. You know, we should get out there and look at what's going on. I shouldn't wash the dishes when I have emotional troubles. I should go around and figure it out. But experience shows that that doesn't work. Basically because the same mind

[68:19]

that's messed up is the mind that's fiddling it out. The same mind that's confused about itself is the mind that's trying to see itself. They say in Dharma, you know, a fingertip can never see itself. Never touch itself, I mean. And an eye can never see itself. See a reflection in the mirror, maybe. But itself, it can never see. So we're like that. So if we want to really settle in with who we are and what's really going on, I mean, eye to the mouth and tongue to the mouth, you forget about it and do it with your breath, with the spirit of openness. So you're not avoiding. You can certainly wash the dishes and grit your teeth and think, oh, if anything that I don't want to see happens to come into my mind, I'll crunch it down while I'm washing these dishes. But no, you wash the dishes with a sense of, well, if something comes up, I now have the space in which it can arise because I'm washing the dishes. I now have the space in which I can see my life because I'm with my breath. So in a way, logically, it really doesn't make sense.

[69:22]

But I'm just telling you that it's really the truth, as far as I've seen. It's really the truth. I mean, we can figure out a certain amount of stuff. We're smart creatures. We're human beings. We can figure out a whole lot of stuff. I mean, look at all the things we've figured out. You know, several thousand years of human civilization, but certain basic things we really haven't figured out because we can't. So we have to take this in the round, it seems to me. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. I'd like to know what you're doing with the law and how that relates to mindfulness. Well, I don't know. I'm just so fiddling. I'm nervous, so I'm... Well, I recite a mantra,

[70:23]

Om Mani Padme Hum. And at each beat I say the mantra. And I can do that while I'm talking. Sometimes I won't actually say the mantra, but just feel the sensation of the beat, which works for me, feeling the mantra. Sometimes I don't even do that, but just having the beat reminds me that I'm trying to practice dharma, in case I would forget. Which, once in a while I forget, actually. It happens. So it helps me to remember. So it's kind of like, you know, every occupation has its little equipment, you know. So this is a little Buddhist equipment. Yeah, Ray? Could you comment more on the arts? The arts. And the role that the arts might play as a culprit

[71:24]

hindrance in mindfulness. I'm thinking of Mozart, the Dallas Cowboys, Miles Davis. And we fill our lives endlessly with this, if not a foreground, then a background. Good question. Well, of course, nothing is anything in and of itself. Everything is what it is in relation. So the arts aren't really... The question isn't, you know, what about the arts? The question is how do the arts function in our lives? So Miles Davis can be a vehicle for our awareness, or it can be a big distraction. In other words, I walk in the house, I don't want to think about anything, I put the machine on, the music is playing, I kind of don't hear it, but it fills up the space in myself. So what's not listening? Miles Davis, and I don't know what

[72:28]

to call that, but you see what I'm saying? So the arts are not one thing. There's no question, but somehow, part of our lives is to express ourselves. It seems like it's a need, it's a human need. And I've known people, and you know, the same thing that's true of the arts and science is also true of practice, the forms of practice too, right? I mean, the zen-do can be a way of distracting yourself. You may not think so, but definitely you could walk into the zen-do, as students have done through the millennia, sit down on a cushion, and immediately fall asleep. Which, you know, has happened. People sleep on the cushion for 10, 20 years. Or think, I'm serious, you know? Sometimes you can see them sleeping. When I'm lecturing, you see different groups sleeping. You didn't notice that? Yeah. You didn't notice that? So it's a shame. Jordan was sleeping all the time, and I would give him my lecture, and all of a sudden

[73:33]

I'd say, Jordan, wake up! So, it happens. And again, I'm not saying that sometimes people are tired, right? But all I'm trying to say is that nothing is absolute, right? Everything is what you look and see. What's really going on here? I've noticed, though, that people do need to express themselves. That's part of who we are. Some people, because of karma, actually are able to express themselves completely through the forms of the practice. Because that's just the way it is for them. Other people need other ways to express themselves. And so the arts can be really helpful, whatever art we're given to express ourselves through that art. And then when we listen or see or read, this is also a way of expressing ourselves.

[74:35]

If we really listen to Miles Davis, you know, we are Miles Davis, right? We are expressing that which Miles Davis is expressing at that time. This is what really seeing or really hearing is, is our own expression. And this is why we prize art, because it expresses our feeling. And certainly, you know, Zen, in particular, is famous for having created the most fantastic and strange art forms, particularly from a Western perspective. The idea that making a cup of tea is a high art form seems so strange to us, but in reality it is. It's a form of dance, you know, that was created exactly out of the rituals of Zen meditation. The form of taking a tea in the meditation hall and the form of eating of a meal was taken out of the meditation hall into the tea room and made into a, elaborated into a beautiful and very profound art form, as well as

[75:36]

Zen calligraphy and Zen painting and lower grammar, which comes out of Zen meditation. And we're trying to create our own versions of those things. And many, many artists nowadays practice Buddhism and are trying to find ways to express the insides of their practice in whatever art they do. ...

[75:59]

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