Good afternoon. I know this is a little bit insidious. It stands out. It's the opposite of what the Japanese call Shibu. What was made by Hosea Hernandez Hosea. I was my disciple. And then, well, she's a wife. And she made this for my, this 10-year celebration. And she said, you should have a raksu called Red Thunder.

[01:01]

So I said, She'd wear it now and then, so I thought I'd try it out. And I'll keep changing my rugs so that you don't think I'm the same person all the time. Shibui is a Japanese term. Shibui is a Japanese term. And I said, this is not Shibui.

[02:03]

Shibui means a kind of taste or an object which is not colorful. Shibbol is a taste or an object that is not very colorful, not conspicuous, and also not very eye-catching. Quiet and conventional. But yes, a certain kind of taste. Shibui is actually an idea related to this sense of doing fundamental work in the world. It's hard to say that without sounding like you're going to tell a joke. It's something like, what is most visible is what's invisible.

[03:11]

I meant visible in a sense that visible in the sense that really affects things. Many such ideas in a culture. Yeah, and as you said, many Religious heroes, he used that term. People who work inconspicuously in society, doing the small work that needs to be done where they are.

[04:12]

Die Arbeiten ganz versteckt in der Gesellschaft, nicht herausragend, sie machen einfach die Arbeit, die getan werden muss. Now, the work we're doing together with this term, in most requests, die Arbeit, die wir gemeinsam tun, verrichten wir diesen Begriff des innersten Wunsches. This work we're doing together. And I'm looking forward to your meeting together in small groups. But before we get there, I'd like to add a few things to this discussion. Yeah. As often as the case, I'm talking about something I've never talked about before.

[05:21]

At least not in these relationships. I'm trying to find a way. And you know, it's you guys led me here. Something happens and I can speak to you and I feel a, yeah, let's use that word again, a quickening within this It leads me to a particular kind of process in looking at this. So maybe we can think of the inmost request.

[06:32]

Vielleicht können wir den innersten Wunsch not so much as a plant, as a plant, using that metaphor, nicht so sehr als Pflanze, um jetzt diese Metapher zu benutzen, in A, betrachten, but a little bit rather as a field in which various plants grow. Sondern lassen Sie hier betrachten, als ein Feld, in dem verschiedene Pflanzen wachsen. Can we find the field of our life which is most fruitful for us. Or the field in which all our requests are, you know, most requests. Dogen spoke about the light in which all trees and plants and the land shines.

[07:47]

And he says this light cannot be known by the light. Discovered through the, known by the senses, cannot be grasped by the senses or meditation. Now, Easiest way to give you a feeling for that is, again, what I suggested to you. Wouldn't you notice a particular clarity or That's a kind of extra feeling, isn't it? More current than usual.

[09:07]

And the feeling of where everything is in its place as it is. Sometimes it's It's called suchness. Sometimes it's called the clear light. In Zen, I don't know exactly what that would mean, the practice of Buddhism. Now, okay, so I can point this out. So, das kann ich also euch hervorheben. And you can, yeah, and you can say, oh, yeah, I know that experience. Sometimes I feel that. Und ihr könnt sagen, ja, also diese Erfahrung kenne ich.

[10:09]

Manchmal habe ich dieses Gefühl. And I found, you know, there are many ways Many experiences I've had. And if somebody told me about it, I would say... Yeah, I know that. But what I don't know is the relative thing. I think sometimes one is in therapy, psychotherapy. Because you already know them doesn't mean you really know. You know that about yourself, but it's kind of like a little bit of knowledge here.

[11:25]

Really see how it works in all of your thinking. Sometimes you notice a sense of brightness. What you don't recognize is that you can actually shift from the object to this brightness. Now, describing this in a rather primitive way, but that's the best I can do. So you begin to notice the shine of the mind itself. Now this is what Dogen meant when he said it can't be grasped by the senses.

[12:28]

Known by usual. meditation is conceptual. In fact, notice that you have to slip out of conceptual thought. Now, an important figure in the development of Buddhist practice My name is Dignaga. Dignaga was one of the first to try to make clear what is a valid cognition.

[13:28]

And Dimitra Nagar was one of the first to think about what a valid knowledge is. That cognition is a cognition in which you also see the mind. And he said that a valid knowledge or a valid perception And it's sometimes called double perception. You perceive the object and the mind at the same time. Now, it's obvious to all of us that you're looking at me, me looking at you, and so forth. is you're there, but still there's this mind perceiving you.

[14:40]

Yeah, and as I pointed out many times, your fellow, well, not all of you are Viennese, but anyway, A fellow Viennese said, there's nothing in this scene. It tells you there's a mind perceiving it. So this is a double recognition in itself. There's a mind perceiving this, and there's nothing here that tells you a mind is perceiving it. A double what?

[15:51]

A double this observation, recognition. So back in the third and fourth century, our common era, There was a lot done in his work. If there's nothing in this scene that tells me there's a mind perceiving it, how do you remind yourself of that? So it's a continuous awareness. And much of the entreties and cons are about developing this continuous awareness. Okay, so you hear an airplane.

[17:08]

This is my usual example. And perhaps in Southern, it's more easy to notice. Could you just hear it? Now, from Dignag's point of view, when you say, oh, that's an aircraft, that's a... You just put an enclosure on the sound. Dann schließt man dieses Garage einfach ab. You can think you put a sweater on the sound. Es ist so, als ob man einen Pullover über das Garage zieht. It's so, as if you take the sweater off, there's just the sound. Now, what's the point of this?

[18:17]

I mean, what's wrong with airplanes having sweaters? Well, one is if you get used to to thinking noncon... not putting the conceptions on. There comes to be a kind of bliss that arises in the body. You can always put this sweater on if you want to, but you don't have to. And when you put the sweater on, you lose the experience of the mind itself.

[19:26]

So this was, again, my responding to, speaking to Shikiro, she said, in most requests, plus nothing. By nothing he meant the mind before form and color arise. Okay. So there is some different experience of yourself So gibt es also einige unterschiedliche Erfahrungen von sich selbst. When the sense of double perception is always present. Wenn ist es gefühlt vom Doktor wahrnehmend gesendet.

[20:47]

Or simultaneous knowing, noesis, noesis maybe here. We could say simultaneous noesis or knowing of the mind and the object perceived. The more you get used to that, the more you... feeling, seeing, mind itself. Then you can add concepts or associations and so forth. No, we need. I mean, if you... You're going to protect a building from fire, for example. You need to make preparations and fire extinguishers and so forth. So these secondary conditions...

[21:47]

So these secondary cognitions, are certainly at the center of our life. But maybe they're not the center if we want to know mind in what we're doing. Not. What happens when you do that? Nothing does a kind of bliss or satisfaction arise.

[23:01]

And this makes you feel more secure and intimate with the whole of reality. But you change the field in which your life exists. And more and more, you have unique cognitions, not just dollar cognitions. Your perceptions tend to be new knowledge of uniqueness or new ways of looking at things. And this is also related to the path opening up. The path opening up of consciousness.

[24:02]

that answers your in most of course. Maybe this all sounds too complicated for you to do. Yeah, I'd better not do it to get home at night. Make dinner. Let alone notice my mind while I'm making dinner. But in fact, you're always in the midst of your mind making dinner while you're making dinner. And I've still kind of... awareness of it. And as I've said, often a feeling of being nourished by what you do allows it to happen. So there's a certain kind of

[25:14]

And at ease in what you're doing. And to notice when you feel complete. The more you can come into the ordinary activity of your life. With a sense of ease. You don't need anything else. And you feel fully immersed in what you're doing. You don't have to think about anything else. And you find the brightness comes from the activated self. That's often when we're in Australia.

[27:23]

And it's often when the little seedlings, little plants arise from our In other words, as some of you have said, our inner monster crust is not one big plant. A big redwood growing up in the middle of our life. The feeling of this request being answered in many little activities. Well, so let's take a break.

[28:50]

Machen wir eine Pause. And after the break, nach dieser Pause, please find some way to get into smaller groups. Find a way to get into smaller groups. You can discuss the question if you want. Wir können natürlich in diesen Gruppen alles beraten und besprechen, was ihr wollt. Now, if I just speak German, I might check up on it. Das ist halt so, dass ich nicht darüber reden kann. Also, wenn ich Deutsch sprechen könnte, können Sie natürlich kommen und lauschen, aufpassen. Aber so sagt Ihnen das nicht der Fall. Sie kennen die Städte in der EU-Bürgerung. But you might, I mean, obviously, you might talk about how you discover your innermost request. Is it a process in stages over our life, in the stages of our life? And how do we get out the weeds of neurotic requests? Und wie kriegen wir das Unkraut raus, das Unkraut von neurotischen Bedürfnissen?

[30:02]

Etwas so wie das. Vielen Dank. No.

[31:07]

So I think I'll just start. I want to speak in German. So it's not my request for a report, but it is the request of the . Yeah. In our group there were many similarities how the participants of the group experienced the innermost request. And all these relationships to this inner man most requested also to do with our everyday life. No, not everyday life.

[32:30]

I think... With our relationship to reality. Oh, excuse me. With our relationship to reality. I'm sorry. It's a little different, but yeah. Yeah. There is nine realities to say. So one is to be as much as possible near reality in a kind of direct. In touch with reality. In touch, yeah. Or to, should I scream? Of course. Or to understand reality, to look through reality in a way. or to catch reality in its different forms of expression, like beautifulness or war, but to kind of grasp the world around and not losing it.

[33:35]

So these were one. Another aspect was to act in harmony. Maybe if you are in stress, you get a very clear focus and you act on that and feel very, yeah, kind of being very clear in harmony of the needs of the situation. And also to fulfill type of a task, mission kind of thing in the life for others. This was another one. And also we had an aspect of more creating something in the reality which was led more from the creative standpoint.

[34:40]

So I want to produce something according to my wishes. And so this, I think this covers more or less where we sensed the domain or areas of our most focused project. Yes, to be close to reality, then decisive experiences in life that were important for the experience of the world, such as the glory of the world or the drama and violence of the world, not to lose that and to be aware of that again and again. ...harmonious action... ...from a clarity of mind in danger situations, stress situations... ...and also what feels so limited... ...like the example of Maria... ...driving a car and suddenly... ...with car, road and herself... ...it's a feeling... ...a task in life...

[35:50]

Cheers. Oh, so our group was different in the sense that we tried to find out what could be in the most requested. And we had some people who really had life-changing experiences recently, and for them, they can do anything they want right now. So we... So the question is not necessarily from them, but in general, is it something big that makes your life change or something you will change your life towards or is it something much more basic or more simple as how do you want to be in each moment?

[37:11]

And one person said if you've made the right sort of decision or the idea of what you want to have or you go into the right request we have then you find lots of hints in life that this would make that it fits so you get clues out of your surrounding world that you're on the right track so there are many some other people can add a lot to this group discussion but for me personally personally i have to question really what we've discussed before. How do you sort out neurotic ones from not neurotic ones? Which ones are wishes? That's one person said, I don't want it to be a wish that takes me away from now to somewhere else. Um, is it something if you don't have 1, you can inscribe 1 into yourself.

[38:16]

You know, if you look for someone you respect to. Try out some foreign request, and then we had to. Definition through native speaker that request doesn't necessarily need to be a wish or a question. It can be meant repetitive or search. You know, you search re and quest to search, so you always search. And that makes it more, something more continuous and less something where you want to go towards something. I hope you get that. In our group, we thought about different things. Some people now have real life-changing situations in mind. They can basically do whatever they want. And now the question is, is it something that you assume or wish for life and then go there?

[39:24]

Or is it rather something, this inner search or wish, something that fits into every moment? Or is it something, if you have found the right, so to speak, fitting inner search, that you can find it in the environment of signs, see if you are on the right path or not. For me personally, it's interesting. How can I find my own inner role in most requests? How do I really distinguish between the real and the fake? Or are they both real? I don't know. Or if you don't have one, you can borrow one from someone and try it out and write it down. And then we also looked at the word more, and that was the re, which means something like again, again, the previous request is not only a question, but also a search.

[40:33]

And if you look at the word as a repeating or a recurring search, then it is more something that you can do at any moment than the big thing, perhaps, Only once in his life can he strive. Oh, okay. The most difficult question came on the one hand as to whether to let myself come up and die. Or, on the other hand, there is a prayer in which I believe to myself and then Is this the case in the last year or not? Because in the case of the contract for the NTK system, it was presented as a project that would be able to be implemented in the near future.

[41:40]

And then the question arises. So I can operate in two directions. I can say that it is possible. And that is an answer to my question. That was a question that was asked to me. What can you translate that? It sounds better if I say it. Well, maybe you'll even get better, like he says. No, no, no, keep going. So I once did non-physical practice, a Tibetan practice. Should I speak English or German? English, yeah. Okay, so... In this practice, it was, you do prostration, and you do a kind of phrase with it, and in this case, it was a phrase you take refuge in, and you do it for the benefit of all sentient beings.

[42:52]

And at one point the usual kind of world collapsing emotion came up. And it was before I started this practice and it didn't work anymore. The idea of I'm living in such a waste and just a bother to everybody. It didn't reach anymore because from inside this phrase came out, you know, I'm living for the benefit of all sent beings. So why do I have to cry that the world is so... You know, I'm... I'm a baller to the world. So I said you could maybe do the inverse request two ways. You can either uncover or make your own innermost request which you've found or you've decided it's the one you want to pursue or something, or you can actually inscribe one which you've decided that this is a responsible thing to wish or something like that, and you can decide what, try to find a method of bringing that to fruition.

[43:55]

Thank you. I was also in the school, and I realized I forgot to ask a question. Maybe I can ask it here because it kind of hurts me. I'm not sure, can they actually know to give them a request? But can we only look at the behavior and how it helps to be close to the request? That's a good question. I forgot to ask a question to the group. I'm not sure I can help you with the inner request. I don't want to keep you now, but I'll let you know. I said in my group or I made this proposition that from my own experience I cannot say what my inner most request is.

[45:13]

I cannot define it. I cannot give an answer to what this innermost request might be. This request works like a compact. Wenn ich mit dem Request in Kontakt bin, dann... And when I'm in contact with my own West, then I'm in a situation where I find myself acting,

[46:18]

And also from the situation itself, something comes back to me. And in this dynamics, this innermost request is somehow something that gives me my direction, gives direction. And the advantage of this is that I'm not being accused. that I am also used to this idea that I could control my life activity or the results of my life activity. I said that it's not so much that you know what you most request, it's much more for me somehow leading against it or being close to it and to feel whether it's

[48:09]

whether it's in this situation, whether it's necessary, whether it's possible in this situation, or what can be done to fulfill it in this situation. And it's not so clear to me, this innermost request. And what you said yesterday, I think it was in the prologue seminar, when you said which... which body of Buddha does not fall into any category. And the answer is, I'm always close to this. And I always thought that this answer, I'm always close to this, is close to this Buddha. But actually my feeling now is more that I'm always close to this question. And also, this is all so that you really don't know what the question really is, but you have some way of feeling for it. And I love it so much about what you said about this compass and this talent.

[49:11]

And maybe you won't translate it. Just that. So I really liked what Christian said, because it was also connected to what I was trying to say in the group, that I have the feeling that you don't really know what's going on inside you and that I don't have such a clear picture of it, but rather that it occurs in the situation. Yes, and this is also in connection with what Roshi said yesterday in this prologue, with this quorum, which of the three bodies of the Buddha, which body of the Buddha does not fall into any category, and my answer was always so in my life, and the answer to this is always true for this, I am always very close to it, and I always thought that actually means that one is very close to this body, that is, one goes to the question, But yesterday I had the feeling that it was actually the question and the question produces something because you are close to this question that you don't really know.

[50:22]

And it seems to me that this is very much connected to this inner request, that you can take a similar attitude to it. I would also like to say that I also wanted to report on other things from our group. Yeah, so some people in our group, a number of people were not so satisfied with the translation of our request, how you can translate it into German. And then we came to this double meaning of quest, which also means to search. And also this prefix, which indicates repetition. And we also talked about disappointment, being disappointed in one's innermost request.

[51:35]

Disappointed maybe in one way that what you wish would happen or what your request is, that it doesn't happen, that it doesn't manifest, that it doesn't materialize. And also in the way when you have this compass, this image of a compass, maybe you lose your compass and you are losing your orientation because you lost your compass. And somebody said, I'm just adding, then you kind of lose yourself when you lose that. And then somebody said, and I found it very interesting, is that if you understand the best part by continuous search, When you cannot be disappointed, a disappointment cannot happen because everything that happens then is an answer.

[53:14]

It is not an answer and not an answer is also an answer. Whereas if you understand it as a search, you can be disappointed because you do not find what you are searching for. A quotation occurred. I don't know from whom. According to the request of my assistants, I'm leaving. The call, the request of my existence.

[54:36]

And by that, we came to this question of existence, and we realized that the animals in Christ are closely connected to the question of existence. And existence is the opposite of non-existence. And in this tension, we have this innermost quest emerged. And not surprisingly, this also has to do something with Buddhism.

[55:56]

Buddhism is concerned with this tension, with this field of tension between existence or with this just field of existence and non-existence. and if you if you localize yourself with this charged field of existence, non-existence then you are somehow feeling responsibility to the responsibility for what? We feel the responsibility for each moment of this inseparableness of existence and non-existence. We feel the responsibility of this inseparable in existence and non-existence.

[56:59]

And this is also somehow related to doing things right. I cannot give you an example. Telephone call, he has the feeling that things didn't work well, that something could have been done better. It could have been done more in the right way. And then also a thought occurred that these innermost requests are concerned everybody, but not everybody has to be concerned by it.

[58:22]

Perfected. And also, there are also this idea in that Buddhism starts where you realize that your needs cannot be fulfilled. And then we also talked many very abstract things. . And to counterbalance it a little bit, the balance that everybody said, what kind of feeling he or she had with this innermost request?

[59:34]

What is the feeling quality of that? And some terms emerged like unbearable. No, unbearable isn't it. Unbearable like a flame is too bright or light is too bright. Too intense. Light. In the sense of no weight. Also something like Then it was emphasized how very much it can be physically effective,

[60:40]

Oh, it's closed. Yeah, it's closed. Yeah. And then we also wanted to know how you can distinguish between these ego-related requests from non-ego-related requests. are those that we considered neurotic, Eric. I don't know. I was not even . He's trying to relate to .. We would help to get .. And there I got the idea that it was a very big idea to get the family involved, [...]

[62:22]

Renunciation? Renunciation, yeah. So also we came to renunciation because Gerhard gave this example that in order not to not embarrass, in order not to hurt his family, he renounced from something he wanted to do. And it is something that has remained. So he was looking at this angle, but he sees it. He [...] sees it. So finally, that I renounced from the fulfillment of a certain goal I had produced a good feeling for me. And by that, a deeper trust, a value, that it's okay the way I wish my part to end.

[63:56]

And finally, this shows that this initial wish I had was somehow egocentric. Egocentric. . And then we also came to this parallel of renunciation and to step back, to take a step back, to renounce. And it might also have something to do with to go into, to enter into this part. And then you can feel the possibility, or there might be the possibility, that you feel the dynamic of this innermost request.

[65:27]

And that is a case that there is a dynamic of this innumerable request and not an entity of an innumerable request which is somehow only non-interpreted, innate or doesn't change. Oh, well, I think there were four of the groups anyway. He's not right. We can't finish... this evening, this afternoon, which is good. So I think there's at least maybe two more groups that ought to say something. And of course, we don't have to limit ourselves to reports from groups. I think we can hear and feel that we've entered into the subtlety of our existence, which we can't really pin down or define.

[66:50]

We know when we're in the midst of the subtle. And I think we recognize that it's a wonderful thing when we can know this with others. And I think we can really recognize and see that it is a wonderful thing if we can recognize it and also together with others. And if we can find a life in which we can know this with others. And that in different ways Yes. Yes. I wouldn't say, Gerhard, that necessarily it may have been for you, perhaps, but I would not conform it as my previous request or goal was ego-based.

[68:24]

Let me put it in the context of something Roshi said. Is that our innermost request is... as power, vitality. When it's for all existence, recognizes all existence. And it arises from. So your first request may have been such, too.

[69:26]

But not as fully as your goal is. the full renunciation of your first something. And one aspect of one, let's call it again, dynamic practice. Sorry. Hello. We've been waiting for you to wake up.

[70:25]

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