There are a number of people who have missed the first two classes. The first class, the koan which we studied, it's a koan which is on the side that has the colored print, the multicolored print, and that case is offered as a basic meditation instruction on life in general, but also life in particular. The questions around the paper are different translations of the question, but the question is an instruction about how to practice. The answer in the center is the teacher's response to how it is a verbal response to express how it is to live according to those meditation instructions.

[01:22]

If you have questions about that koan, you can bring it up throughout this class, but that's why I offered that first koan for that purpose, and also because it's a koan about March and flowers. It's a poem about springtime flowers, which generally characterizes life. Life in samsaric existence is constantly having a springtime and an autumn, and in between there are some flowers, which are worth the flowers. And then another koan is the koan on the other side of the paper, which is the lineage, the tradition which I have joined,

[02:29]

which I practice alignment with and allegiance to. We started looking at this story of this lineage last week. This, in a sense, is a story of a lineage, a story of a tradition. Clearly it could be seen as a mythological story, because clearly the first six names are names before the historical Buddha. You could also say that this is a mysterious tradition,

[03:30]

that it's a tradition that includes non-historical beings, beings which are ancestors to this lineage that existed before the historical Buddha, which existed before the first Buddha in this world's history. Further on there are various mythical elements. For example, the last name on the list, or the second to the last name on the list, is me, and I'm actually also a mythical. And then the next character is you, and you are also mythical. There is a myth about who you are, which you might be quite familiar with. I propose that each of you walk around with a myth about who you are, a story. And we also have stories about you.

[04:38]

We have a phrase that we often say in this tradition. We often quote ancestors in this tradition. This is a tradition of quoting ancestors, or quoting what we've heard the ancestors said. It's that kind of a tradition. It's a tradition of studying the stories of the ancestors, and wondering about them, and trying to understand them. Not so much taking them literally as truth, but taking them literally as literal things. Taking the words literally, and wondering what the meaning of those words is. That's the kind of tradition this is. There's many stories in this tradition about asking about stories of the tradition. And one of the stories is that one of these ancestors said, in Japanese, something like,

[05:57]

仏道の習うことは、自己習うです。 To study the Buddha way is to study the self. And to study the self is to forget the self, or get over the self. To study yourself and get over yourself. That's what it's like to study the Buddha way. But for this class, I would change it slightly and say, to study the Buddha way is to study the koan of yourself. To study yourself is to study the story of yourself. But also, now, study the story of yourself as a koan. Study the story of yourself in terms of, is the story you have reality? Or how is the story, what's true about the story you have of yourself?

[07:17]

Or what is the meaning of the story you have about yourself? See the story, contemplate the story, investigate the story about yourself, which you have every moment, and which is evolving, more or less, sometimes dramatically, like in one day, sometimes it dramatically changes. For example, I went to a Pilates teacher yesterday morning, and afterwards, my story of my intelligence was dramatically changed. I really saw, in a way, if you excuse me for saying so, I was not, to put it gently, I was not very intelligent about how my body works in certain activities. I couldn't say stupid, but I'm not going to say stupid. And that's another characteristic of this tradition, is to say what you're not going to say.

[08:18]

That's called, I believe, apophatic. In Zen you say, we're not going to talk about emptiness, we're not going to talk about religion, we're not going to talk about Buddha, and we're not going to say that I'm stupid, for good reason. So this class could be stated as a class in studying the Buddha way, or learning the Buddha way, studying the stories about yourself. You have stories that you're this, or you're that. You have stories that you're better than other people, or not as good as them. You have stories that you've been unjust, or you've been treated unjustly. You have many stories about yourself, all of us do. Some of us think we've been treated well, and so on. But in this class, let's look at these stories, and see what is the meaning that we have this story about ourselves.

[09:22]

And what's the truth of this story? So, in particular, I ask you, is this lineage, is this tradition, your story? So my name's on this list. So in a way, this is my story. It's a story about me. It's a story that I'm in this lineage. That I'm a receiver and a transmitter of this lineage. That's part of this story here. And I do play that game, of a receiver and a transmitter of this lineage. And then another aspect of the story is, how amazing or outrageous, how could I dare to receive such a lineage, which has a Buddha in it, and before that, six Buddhas. How could I receive such a lineage and transmit it? So, I have a story about how I could and how I do.

[10:26]

And there's a process of training by which I received, and a process of training by which I transmit. And this class is part of the process of training to transmit. So again, at the bottom I wrote, how about you? Is this your lineage? And if this isn't your lineage, do you have one? And if you have one, what is yours? And if you've got a story about your lineage, that's different from this, or that is this one, what's the truth of that? What's the meaning of your story of being in this lineage or not? Or aspiring to be in this lineage or not? What's your story? That's my question to you. And I invited you in the first class to write poems about your meditation in general, and also specifically about this class. To write poems about the first case, which many of you did.

[11:28]

And by the way, in the case, in the book of The Gateless Gate, the compiler of the stories wrote a verse. I didn't give that to you, because I didn't want to bother you with it. But maybe later I'll tell you what the compiler of the Book of Koans wrote in response as a poem for this case. So again, it's part of the tradition to write poems about your meditation practice. And you can write prose too, but I would say generally speaking, there is the observation that when you comment on your practice from a meditative state, from a concentrated state, your language has the intensity of poetry. Prose can have the intensity of poetry. And some people's attempt at poetry

[12:32]

can have not the intensity of poetry, because the poet isn't concentrated enough. So I invite you to concentrate on the first koan, concentrate on the koan of this, to concentrate on the koan, how about you? Concentrate on the koan of your life story and write a poem about it and send it to Santa Claus. Santa Claus's address is rebassistant at sfzc.org King asked the question, in response to, Is this your lineage? And he said, Could it be that it is my lineage,

[13:34]

but I don't know it? Could this be your story, but you don't know it? So when he said that, I kind of laughed because it reminded me of a story. And I started to tell the story, but it was a long one and I didn't finish. So today I could finish the story, if you'd like. And those of you who didn't hear the beginning, you can hear the elaborate beginning. You can hear the abbreviated beginning now. This is a story about, I think, a man who is considered the founder of Hasidic Buddhism. Hasidic Judaism in Poland.

[14:40]

Bala Shem Tov is one way to say his name. And I just want to parenthetically mention that there's an article in the New Yorker which has a picture of an Egyptian Oscar statue. And the name of the picture is A Moment of Triumph. And in that issue, there's an article about some Israeli journalists who want the Israeli people to be compassionate towards the Palestinians. Yeah, and it's very, to me, these are Jewish people who are trying to help the Israeli people be compassionate to the Palestinians.

[15:46]

Very moving article. I recommend it. Now we have another compassionate figure tonight named Bala Shem Tov. And when he was about to die, he gathered his disciples, the successors in his lineage, and he gave them all teaching assignments. And the littlest angel got the assignment of going around Europe and telling stories of his teacher, Bala Shem Tov. And he traveled around Europe for years. And finally he said, well I think I've been everywhere, so I'm done. And he was on his way back to Poland and he heard that there was a wealthy nobleman in Italy who would offer a gold ducat, I don't know how much a ducat is, but a gold ducat for anybody who would tell a new story. A story he had not heard, I guess.

[16:50]

He himself actually also put it that he wanted to hear stories of Bala Shem Tov. So the young disciple said, okay, I'll go to Italy. So he went to Italy and went to the castle of the nobleman and told him he had stories, stories of Bala Shem Tov. And the nobleman was very happy to hear this and invited him to tell the story. And as he was about to tell the story, his many stories of his teacher, he was unable to remember any of them. And the nobleman asked him to stay on and maybe his memory would be recovered. And he stayed on three or four days, but finally he was so embarrassed he just felt like he had to leave. And as he was leaving the castle grounds,

[17:53]

he remembered a story. And it wasn't a very good story and it was a story that involved he himself, the disciple. So he went back and told the nobleman he remembered one not very good story and the nobleman was very happy and said, please tell it. So then he told the story. And I didn't get to the story, right? Okay, so the story starts out, Bala Shem Tov says to this young man, saddle our horses, this is in Poland, saddle our horses, we're going to Turkey. And they were going to Turkey, I think in like November or December, Christmas time. And they were going to a part of Turkey where there were lots of Christians

[18:54]

and where during Christmas time, they really decorated the town and had lots of elaborate services. But also it was a time of year when they would often kill one Jew in recompense for the death of the Savior. Or they would try to kill one Jew. So the disciple, I don't know if the disciple said, but the disciple thought, this is crazy to go to that town. That town with lots of Christians and some Jews. But Bala Shem Tov had made his decision and the disciple did not argue and they went from Poland to Turkey on horseback, I guess. When they got to the town,

[19:56]

sure enough, the streets were full of celebrating Christians and they managed to get to the Jewish quarter and they entered the Jewish quarter and in the Jewish quarter, all the Jewish people were huddled inside their houses with the shutters closed so as not to be safe and not provoke the Christians to attack one of them or more. So they entered one of the houses which was actually on a square where the Christians had big celebrations. And Bala Shem Tov went into the house, I get the impression, second story window, opened the window and stood at the window showing himself, the Rabbi showing himself to the crowd of Christians and he asked his disciple to come to the window. The disciple didn't want to go to the window but the disciple did. Can you hear me okay?

[20:59]

And he said, look out there, see the procession? And there was a procession moving through the crowd. And the procession was led by what looked like a bishop with the big, is it called a mitre? One of those tall hats and covered with gorgeous jewels and also carrying a diamond studded staff. He said, see the bishop? Go down into the square, go up to the bishop and tell him to come and see me. So you can imagine that the disciple thought that this was really endangering his life which it was. But still, his teacher wanted him to do this

[22:02]

so he did. And he went up to the procession and he went up to the bishop as the bishop was ascending the platform to give his sermon. As he was going up the stairs he got behind him and he said, excuse me, Baal Shem Tov wants to see you. Baal Shem Tov wants to see you. And the bishop was startled and hesitant but I think indicated that he would go. And after his sermon the disciple brought him to Baal Shem Tov. And when he came into Baal Shem Tov's presence Baal Shem Tov took him into a back room. The two of them. And they stayed there for three hours. And after that the bishop came out and left and Baal Shem Tov said saddle the horses, back to Poland.

[23:05]

And so the disciple said to the nobleman well that's my story and I'm kind of embarrassed it's not a very important story of the life of Baal Shem Tov but that's all I've got. Please excuse me. And as he was apologizing he looked at the man and saw that the man was immensely impressed by this story and was dissolved in tears. And the man said uh your story has saved my soul. Your story has saved my spirit. I was the bishop. I am a Jew.

[24:27]

I am a Jew. And I was a leader of the Jews but out of fear I converted to Christianity. I was a leading rabbi and out of fear I converted to Christianity. And the Christians were very happy to see a leading rabbi convert. And in appreciation they gradually made me into a bishop and gave me great wealth. In addition to the wealth I already had I was a wealthy rabbi. And I allowed them to be cruel to Jews. Baal Shem Tov heard about me and came all the way. I'm adding this. He didn't say all the way. Baal Shem Tov came to me. But I'm saying would you go

[25:30]

from Poland to Turkey on horseback to save somebody? To save somebody's life? That's great compassion. Really great compassion. To make that effort and not only that but going into a dangerous place to help him. This is certainly the spirit of the bodhisattva. I don't want to co-opt anybody but Baal Shem Tov looks like a bodhisattva. So anyway Baal Shem Tov came to tell me in case I hadn't noticed I was in pretty much I was pretty much done for. There was almost no hope for me because of what I had done. But he said it's possible that if you from now on behave in a certain way

[26:33]

you may be able to become free. What you need to do now is give back all the wealth that was given to you in this unwholesome way. Leave this town and go live somewhere else and take all the resources you have to do good. All your wealth and all your intelligence and energy to help people. And also put the word out to invite people to come to tell you stories. And if someday someone comes to you and tells you the story of your life you will be saved. And an old man said to the disciple

[27:34]

Oh good disciple when you told me that you couldn't remember any of the stories which you had been telling I thought this is God's judgment. And when you said when you remembered one story I thought I saw that this was Baal Shem Tov interceding for me giving me one more chance. And it was my story. So when we hear other people when we hear stories and we think they're not our own these are maybe the most valuable stories to look at. To look at this is not my story this is somebody else's story and look at that and among the stories that are not your stories among the stories that are not my story when I realize that they are something very significant

[28:35]

will shift in my or my karma my habit my being stuck. I'm not pressuring you to change your story I'm not pressuring you to look at your story I'm just saying that there may be great value in examining your stories over and over until you realize that they're the story of other people. And examine the stories of other people when you hear them to realize that they're yours. And it's really hard sometimes when people tell you that you are something really bad that's their story. They come and tell you

[29:35]

you are pretty bad you are a lousy something or other. It's hard to tell it's hard to like see that as your story. It is their story, it's true that is their story but it's hard to see that that's your story. So, just keep inviting stories and maybe somebody else will come and tell you a story about you that you can see is yours. It will be their story because they'll be telling it to you. When the disciple told him the story he thought he was telling him a story about Baal Shem Tov and himself. He didn't know he was telling the man his story. So anyway, that's the story that I thought of when King said could it be that we don't think it's our story but it is? What was he saved from?

[30:43]

What's your story? What was he saved from? You don't know? Is there anything you need to be saved from? Would you like to tell us? It might be the same thing. But let's hear first before we come to any hasty conclusions. The limitations of your story are you? The limitations your story has put on you. So that's something you might be saved from. Or saved of. So that's what he was saved from.

[31:49]

He was saved from the limitations put on him by denying his tradition, denying his commitments to protect himself. And in some ways accruing some wealth as a result. That's the story which put a great limitation on him. And somehow sometimes when the story about us puts a great limitation on us sometimes some really kind person goes out of their way to come to tell us something we could do that would help us become free of the limitations that our stories put on us. So your way of putting it I think applies perfectly well to the bishop's story. And the disciple also had a story

[32:56]

about what he was doing. He got saved from his story too. He didn't know, he thought, he didn't realize what he was doing. He didn't realize that he was enacting. He thought he had a pint-sized job. But he had to travel all over Europe in order to perform this immense service that his teacher wanted him to perform. His teacher couldn't tell him, just go tell that guy. He had to go all over Europe make this big effort to get ready to perform this act of saving a sentient being. And a sentient being is somebody who is limited by their story of their life. So Buddhas are not limited by the stories of their life. Buddhas can tell stories. Shakyamuni Buddha, as you may have heard, told many stories about himself. I just heard one

[34:04]

that I'll tell you later if you remind me. I heard this story referred to many times before, but I recently heard the whole story. And it's a great story that Shakyamuni Buddha told about himself. And it's a story about his process of becoming free. It's a story of the stories he had about himself. And if I tell you this story, that will give you an opportunity to think about, is this your story? But before I do that, is there anything you'd like to bring up? Yes? Can a person have more than one lineage? Can a person have more than one lineage? Yes. Do we know...

[35:10]

Are you going to say something else? Do we know... Do we know if the disciple became free of his stories, or just had a new story to believe in? I don't know anything more about this disciple. However, I vow to learn all about Hasidic Buddhism and let you know afterwards. I was just thinking it's interesting that both the disciple and man have their stories overtake their quest for gain. The disciple comes to the man to get money and tell the story. And the man, who is in the role of the bishop, is seeking gain. And their stories, their backstories, come back to them.

[36:11]

And it has the power of overcoming gain in mind. Yeah. Our stories have the power to overcome our stories. Creation has the power to overcome the limitations of creation. The key is we have to practice with these creations wholeheartedly. Anything else you want to bring up? Yes. One thing I've been thinking about is... There's a little square right there. Four people. There's an intensal area right there. It seems like in the first koan, and with any koan, what I've been thinking about is it's not exactly in the words

[37:12]

that the teacher demonstrates reality or something. It's something that happens between them. It seems like to me. I go two different ways with that. One is it makes me think about how hard it is to explain when something happens to me that wakes me up in a small or big way. It's hard to explain why it worked. Not completely impossible, but you know what I mean? I disagree. It is completely impossible. Even if all the Buddhas in ten directions gathered all their Buddha wisdom, they would not be able to measure the merit of one person waking up. It is not possible. You can explain all you want. It's not going to do it. But I think the important point you make is that when the teacher said that, I always think of

[38:13]

March in Hunan. The partridges chirping among the hundred fragrant flowers. It's not just the words. The meaning is not in the words. The meaning is those words in the context of that question. The meaning is those words in the context of his body. It's not just the words. And the question. And the disciple who asked it. And where he was at. The meaning is in the context of the tradition which led the disciple to ask the question. And the person, the teacher who led the disciple to ask the question. And the student who led the teacher to respond. And Hunan in springtime. And the partridges chirping. All that is in those words. And part of the reason why we know it was a moment of reality, a waking up kind of moment of reality, is that we still have the story.

[39:13]

Not only do we still have the story, but our hair still stands on end hearing this old Chinese story. We still feel springtime when we look at the story. It's just that we don't, if we don't look at the story, if we don't want to be totally overwhelmed by springtime, we can stop it. But when we don't, and when the story moves us, then it's like we're there. Like this TV show I often referred to, it was called You Are There. It's from the 50s. And they would reenact historical events like Socrates eating hemlock or Cleopatra putting a snake up her sleeve. They'd do these classical stories

[40:15]

and then afterwards Walter Cronkite would say, and everything was just as it was then except you are there. So that's what koans are like. We tell these stories and we sort of pretend like this is China in the Tang Dynasty up in the mountains and Zen people are talking and they just had a vegetarian feast and it's all, it's just like it used to be except you're there. And it's a big production to have you are there. Got to have Walter Cronkite. Which I believe means good health, doesn't it? Opposite? Bad health? Cronkite means sickness? So you got to be sick. Got to be sick. Yes, was there some hand? More in the center there.

[41:16]

It's okay, something's going on there. Next will be Vera. It's a gift to the teacher and who else is it a gift to? It's to you. In the Mahayana Scriptures these bodhisattvas ask questions they know, they're not trying to get the answer. They're asking the question to make the Buddha famous, yeah. But they're asking questions for all living beings and not just all living beings now, but all living

[42:17]

beings forever. That's what their questions are for. And that's what these great koans are about, when people ask questions for us and then we feel grateful to the teacher, yeah, great teacher, thank you, but to the bodhisattva who asks the question as a gift to us. And there were some other questions that were asked that could also have been gifts, but the disciple might not have been concentrated enough to help the teacher answer in such a way that the gift made it all the way, you know, to us thousands of years later. But then you have the disciple with the man and he's not really aware that he's giving the gift to the man. No, he's not, but he finds out that he was. He finds out that he was and then he goes back home and tells everybody about this great gift he gave. Yeah. And he might even think,

[43:18]

oh my god, this is a story for the ages. I've got to go back and tell everybody about this, how great our teacher was. Yes. Thank you for your offering tonight. This past couple of days, a few days, I've been buying into a story that I thought other people had of me. You were buying into a story that you had about the story people had about you? Yeah. So this kind of helped me not buy into it. Great. And as far as the ancestors, there is also one of the men in our heritage. His name is Dung-Shan. Yes. Dung-Shan. And you told

[44:19]

a story once about one of his stories. So Dung-Shan in this list here, the Japanese way of saying his name is Tozan Ryokai. He's kind of in the middle there. Tozan Ryokai. His name starts on the left-hand column in the middle. And now Jackie's bringing up his Chinese way of saying his name is Dung-Shan. Liang-Jie. Yes. I thought his story was really beautiful when he saw his image in the creek. And he woke up. It was like just this is it. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. He didn't say it then. His teacher said it to him. When he left his teacher, he said to his teacher, what teaching do you have for me? And his teacher said,

[45:19]

literally, just this is it, but that's abbreviation for just this person is it. And he didn't understand. And then he traveled quite a long ways and when he was crossing the river, he saw his picture. I mean, he saw his reflection in the water. At that time, he understood his teacher's teaching. Just this person is it. Or just this person. Which to me means, like, you're okay. It means you're okay. Does it? It means you are free of the story. You're okay. And you're also free of the story you're not okay. And you're also free of the story of I'm not okay. Or I am okay. When you become enlightened, you become free of stories. But particularly stories about yourself. Because those

[46:21]

are the ones we feel most tenacious about. And what does this mean? What does this mean? This means in one sense, that story means, it's interesting because that expression the teacher used is an abbreviation of a formal statement that you would make in court when you're confessing that you're guilty of a crime. The Chinese expression when you're in a Chinese court and you're being indicted for a crime, you would say that phrase just this person as it means just this person is guilty. So in one sense the story is saying admit that you're who you are and when you admit who you are you will be free of your story of who you are. And it, just this person as it

[47:23]

you can say that it is not in addition to the person. It could be reality. In this case it is the teaching the teacher gave. What is the teaching of the teacher? The teaching of the teacher is just this person. Wherever you go, just this person. That's the teaching of the teacher. Of Dongshan's teacher. And usually you look at a river and you don't think it's you. Usually even you look at a reflection of you and you don't think it's you. But he saw that is me. Of course it's also not me. You are me and you're not me. Or you're not me but in reality you are me. But what about

[48:24]

the good and the bad? That we're always weighing good, bad, judging. So we have a story. We have a story now, this is good. We have a story now, this is bad. So how does that incorporate with just this is it? Well, when you have this story of this is bad, then this story is it. That's what you should be studying. Is this story of this is bad. Or how about just letting the story drop away by saying just this is it. That might work. Try it. Next time you have a story that you're having trouble dropping, just say that and maybe you'll drop the story and become free of it. It might work. You're handy dandy. What do you call it? Liberation kit. Just this is it. Apply that in the middle of whatever

[49:27]

story you feel caught by. And also apply it to stories where you don't feel caught. Yes? I have a story that I'm not free of. That's the story that the lineage and I've been with this a lot this past week that the lineage is about freedom and it's also about being stuck on that eight and a half by eleven piece of paper that's filled with black and white names of guys that are stuck on the paper. So it's about freedom. It's about non-freedom. And that doesn't seem resolvable. And that contradiction doesn't seem resolvable.

[50:27]

So that's my story. So you have a story that this lineage presents an unsolvable situation? So I'm proposing to you that if you become intimate with that story that's unsolvable you'll be released from the story that it's unsolvable. But that doesn't mean you'll jump into the story that it is solvable. You might. That's called jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Did you hear that, Nancy? But if you jump from freedom from that story and then you wind up in a different story then you might jump into intimacy

[51:30]

with that story and be free of that one. We have to become intimate with our stories in order to be free of them. And there's a proposal, there's a story in this lineage that when you become intimate with the stories that are limiting you, that are confining you, that are choking you and the root of the word anxiety is to be choked or suffocated the root of the word is to be choked. The stories that are choking us, if we become intimate with the choking we will become free. That's one of the main stories in this tradition. Intimacy with bondage realizes freedom. But intimacy with bondage that realizes freedom doesn't mean that freedom eliminates bondage. Liberation and bondage are inseparable. If you become intimate with

[52:32]

bondage you will become intimate with freedom. And vice versa, if you're intimate with freedom you won't be afraid of being intimate with bondage anymore. So not only do you become intimate with bondage and become free, but you again then plunge back into bondage to teach others who have not learned how to be intimate to be But it's not easy to be intimate with bondage. It's not easy to be intimate with being choked. It's hard. It's hard to be ourselves. So if you think it's hard, you're right. All the ancestors in this lineage say the most difficult thing is to be just this person. Is there an agenda to be liberated?

[53:33]

Maybe I just will be in bondage all because the rest of my life I don't have an agenda for it, I'll just be intimate with where I'm at right now. Yeah, that's the practice. And you can have an agenda or not. But there is kind of an agenda. The agenda is to free all beings so that all beings can be at peace. That's the agenda of this lineage. But the actual practice is just to be intimate. Not to get caught by the agenda, in other words. Don't let the agenda stop you from the work. Don't let the goal interfere with the hard thing of being yourself. Yes? Welcome bondage. Welcome bondage.

[54:35]

What else? Sing. [...] Sing a song. Sing it loud. Sing it strong. What else? Be careful. Be careful of your singing. Be vigilant of your singing. Be impeccable when you sing. And be patient with the bondage. And be calm with the bondage. And be enthusiastic about being intimate with the bondage. And be enthusiastic about all those practices which I just mentioned. And then you can really study. And not grasp

[55:39]

the bondage. But it's hard. So be patient. I think that story that Jackie was telling about just this person or just this event. Didn't he also say now I see that the same story I see that I am not him and he's not me. That everywhere I go I see. Yeah. That's what he said at the river. Yeah. It seemed like our then story the Baal Shem Tov story where everywhere that he went that he saw the stories for him. I'm not sure if I'm him. Even if you're not, it must be true. The Dung Shan story must apply

[56:46]

to the Baal Shem Tov story. Did I say it correctly? What did you say? It doesn't say he or she or it. Everywhere I go I'm never apart from her. Everywhere I go I meet her. Now she is not me. But in truth, I am her. Or you can say him or it. You could also say just this person is her. Yes, Nancy. When I saw what got you at the end of the lineage

[57:46]

when I came here my story about myself is that I'm not part of the group. You're not part of this group. Yes. But I also have it about a lot of different groups. Oh, you do that with a lot of groups. Most of the group. And so when I came here the first night it was really powerful. I'm not part of the group. That was your story at the beginning. My story. I don't go to Green Gulch. This is a portkey to Green Gulch. Do you know what a portkey is? It's a thing from Harry Potter. It's a thing from Harry Potter. You go to this place and there's like a shoe lying on the ground. You pick up the shoe and then, boom, you're someplace else.

[58:51]

So anyway, I had that story and then you read this sheet the second night. And then I thought, oh my gosh, I have been coming to these classes for so long. And I used to take the attendance at one time and I had a picture in my computer and I saw that I was taking attendance in 2011. I don't know, maybe I came to class I'm sure I came to classes before that. And I think I did it for about five years. And yet I still came on the first night when I'm not part of the group. So anyway, when it said what about you, I really got that I am part of this lineage. So thank you for that. You're welcome. And thank you for being part of the lineage. Somebody said to me,

[59:58]

somebody who comes regularly to no abode hermitage for one day sittings. She comes regularly and she's been coming to other things for years and she goes to Green Gulch for intensives and stuff like that. I won't say anymore so she won't be identified but she said to me on Saturday, last Saturday she said, I'm getting more and more comfortable being here but I still feel like I'm an outsider. I said, you know, some people feel like they're insiders. There are some stories in this lineage of people who felt like they were outsiders and there are stories in this lineage of people who thought they were insiders. This is a lineage of being free, of insider and outsider. That's what this is a lineage of. But these people thought they were not in the lineage or that they were.

[61:00]

The ones who thought they were, you know, they got some response to that. The ones who thought they weren't got some response to that. So that they became not attached to being insider or outsider. There are stories of people in this lineage who said to their disciples who are in the lineage, you are not in this lineage. But they don't go around telling that to just anybody. They tell it to people in the lineage to help them be free of being insider or outsider. So struggling with that is normal and wonderful. That's why I gave you this column. So you can struggle with this one. But there are lots of other ones to struggle with.

[62:03]

You can be in other lineages and have the same struggle. So you said, can you be in more than one lineage? Yes. Can you be an outsider in more than one lineage? Yes. You can be an insider in innumerable lineages and you can be an outsider in innumerable lineages. But the key in this lineage is to be free. But I think that's really what all lineages are about. For people to be free of their lineage. I think so. I think everybody's heading in the same direction towards freeing beings from suffering. I don't know exactly where my thought is going with this. Because America is a young country. Very often people say, compared to Europe and the East, there's not very much history here. Also, Americans

[63:05]

tend to reinvent themselves over and over and over again. And I was thinking about that on a personal level. We can also reinvent ourselves over and over and change our mythology. But I'm not clear on that. Yeah. So that would be something that would really be good to get clear on that. To get clear on how you reinvent yourself moment by moment. That's another part of being ourselves. Another way to say it is to study how you're inventing yourself moment after moment. Which is the same as saying to study how you're telling a story about yourself. Or how the mind constructs a story of itself. How the mind continually reinvents itself in similar ways, in different ways. How the mind says, this is the same person that used to be here. Even though I'm saying it in a different way. Yeah. This is another way to say it.

[64:07]

That story? Oh, yeah. That will be for next week, I guess. Because it's another long one, but I will just tell you briefly. Actually, I'll try to find out where it is. In the Diamond Sutra, which is a Mahayana text, there's a place in the Diamond Sutra, I believe, where the Buddha says, When King Kalinga was chopping me up in little pieces, I did not give rise to ill will towards him. That story? So those of you who have read the Diamond Sutra know that. But I just ran upon the whole story. And I also found out that in that story that Shakyamuni Buddha told about himself in a previous life,

[65:19]

he had a different name. And his name was... Walter Crockett. What? I said Walter Crockett. In a way, it was. It was like... His name was The Path of the Practitioner of Patience. His name was Kshanti... Yeah, Kshanti Vadan. A practitioner of patience. That was his name, and that was his practice. And the story is about his patience, which I'll tell next week. And I was very happy to find that story. It's another koan! Yes, Sharon? In talking about

[66:20]

bondage and freedom and intimacy, you know what I was saying that may be supreme. Love is bondage willingly accepted by the free. Yep. Love is graciously welcoming, not liking or disliking. Graciously welcoming. And those who graciously welcome are free. Welcoming bondage. Welcoming terrible stories. But also welcoming freedom. Well, thank you for coming. And... Oh, one more thing I just want to say

[67:20]

about this lineage. Are there any women in this lineage? Thank you very much.

[67:30]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ