I feel just like a flower in the morning when I'm young. You are my gardener. And I do thank you very much for the kindness you've given to me this weekend I feel happy to feel that we are on the same path And last year I was at this seminar and something accompanied me through the year.

[01:04]

A feeling that I can't describe, but a feeling that gives me strength. You can translate. on the same path, and I've been to a seminar last year, and ever since I felt that something was accompanying me through the year that gave me strength, and it makes me feel very good. And maybe to Mark, I think. It's a very beautiful poem. I'd like you to tell us what you've already experienced. I was a construction worker a few years ago.

[02:04]

I'm on my way, but I don't think I've made much progress. What I have succeeded in doing better and better is to include the few things I have experienced here in my essay, where I have a lot of stress around me. I have two principles, a lot of them. I simply ask myself in great stress, what is it? And when the stress gets even greater, I ask myself, when did it disappear? Just to start, it's a beautiful stick. I wish the stick could tell a story about what it went through. I've been here last year. I've been in your seminars several times. I'm on the path. I don't think I make much progress, but I... still on the path. I try to integrate more and more of what I see here into my daily work where I have lots of stress.

[03:08]

And I think the last few months quite successfully, when the stress becomes very heavy, I ask the question, what is it? And when the stress becomes even stronger, then I ask, when did they fly away? In the last few years, I have come into contact with the most important museum in Sofia. I have also met Buddhism and have already been very happy. Today I appreciate that I have met Richard. I really like the workshop and I feel a lot inside. And I also appreciate that he offers us the opportunity to continue working with him.

[04:15]

What I found very interesting at this seminar In the last year I came in contact with almost all I am happy Islamia laughs at me and the Iyya in myself is laughing at me

[05:17]

What fascinates me the most is whether it's Max or just me. I'm very happy about the food for the couple. The Heart Sutra has been a theory to me until now, like some kind of reality. And now it suddenly strikes me in the head at the age of 20. Yes, I get scared. I am fascinated about Zen because it says, do it or let it be.

[06:42]

And because of that I am grateful that in that seminar I got nourishment for my mind as well, to do that. The heart was until now for me just another theory like many others. And now I feel in certain moments, fuck, maybe it's true, maybe it's not. But it's alive. It frightens me. Suddenly, sometimes the question, what is it, seems to me really crazy, too crazy.

[07:55]

I came here for the first time when I was ten years old. And here, in this life, where I am now. And what I was most concerned about were the hard times. As Richard expressed his truth, I didn't feel like I had returned to where I was. It's like for me it's the first time then with this life and what's the strongest for me was that the way I was teaching you your wisdom, your reality, was like, I have to go through it myself, it's all come back to me, I have to do it myself, not that you are doing it for me, I feel that.

[09:30]

Also, if you have to do it by yourself, it was correct then. Yes, that's true. I'm also a violinist. And I also felt like I had understood everything. I didn't understand everything, but at the same time I understood everything. At the moment I feel very paradoxical. I have learned that all teachings, all truths, the whole life is a paradox. And that's something that fascinates me. It makes me less afraid of life. And that zero was very important to hear. Because now the intermediate is like a wave before it comes and goes. And the feeling of in between I would like to experience. I would like to have.

[10:33]

For me, it's also the first time here, and I have the feeling that I have understood everything and nothing, and I felt more paradox. And I think all the truths and all the philosophy and all these things about others and also the life. And so now I'm less afraid to survive. For me, it was really important, as you said, with the zero, to come back to zero and to work. Because it's like the wave. When it comes and goes. And the feeling from between. So that I can expect to know more about that.

[11:51]

And I don't know the way, with, and how, so not so good for me. And I will thank you. Thank you all. Thank you. It turns out For many years, thanks to Beke Roshi, I understood things that I had not understood. And at the same time, I feel like I have a frustration because of my too small progress in practice, this exercise with the tour, the foot. In English. I'm doing Zen since many years.

[13:25]

Thanks to Baker Rush's teaching I've been able to understand things which I've never been able to understand and I'm very thankful. However, I have also a feeling of frustration because of my incapability of getting better with the practice. This exercise of stepping over the door with the foot on the side of the hinge was miserable as I forgot almost half of the time. And slowly I'm thinking that there is no way of getting better, that you are like that, and there is no way of getting better, and that blissfulness and that feeling. So my first experience of that was 20 years ago in the Los Altos Center with Suzuki Roshi.

[14:32]

But I decided then that I didn't understand it. couldn't go on, and so I read something, but this is my first real experience, and I just want to say thank you for the great experience, and I've learned a lot, and it's fun. Thank you. I already had an experience with Zen, and that was in the old Zen center with Tsutsuki Roshi. At that time, I decided that it was nothing for me. And in that respect, I am now very surprised and very grateful that I have now participated here. I can take something with me here and I have especially realized that it is fun.

[15:34]

You might be interested that it's Suzuki Roshi's lectures at the Los Altos Zen Center which produce Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. I was just thinking about the doorbell. I've never heard it about me. And I thought, if it goes on like this, I'll start going through the window into the house. It's a very deep problem with this. exercise with the dog, and so we start with some things. If it's not better to enter or go out of the house through the window. .

[16:46]

I didn't want to receive the Balkan Award, but I was given a further award. And that was so beautiful, I had to receive it. And what prepared me for Malta was the Jewish Ballad. And I think since I was a child, the trees were like a man to me. And the trees always had a certain state of mind. And now I am also the trees. But I would like to see something different in the future. I didn't mean to come to the second hour at all because I couldn't afford it, but I came with Friday evening and it was so good that I had to come back. The thing that struck me most was the idea of the mantra. And I've been wondering why I always had a funny feeling with trees.

[18:06]

And I think that maybe since I was a little child, trees were like a mantra or something for me. And they always brought back the same spirit. So I'm thankful to the trees and to you and to all the other mantras that are around. Thank you for the explanations, because you have given me some of my experiences. I feel more secure. I touched to hold that stick from Suzuki and you in my hands.

[19:07]

many of your explanations were a compromise of my own experience and they give me more security to go on and I'm also very thankful for your exercises because they allow me to go further and I It was like to know you and to know you better. And I hope that one day we will put the past together. Well, I'm... I'm busy from this early room on the 5th. How the encounter with the world always unfolds in me.

[20:35]

I noticed this afternoon, as I was walking in a circle, that I actually need different kinds of langurs and mantras to be able to orientate myself. Besides the confusion and fear I experience every time I come in contact with the teaching and experience, I realized in Japan, after Dublin, when I saw the left of the scrolls, that this circle, Seeing the circle, I realized that I need different kinds of mandalas and mantras to get some kind of orientation.

[21:44]

And so this quote met me, and also I realized that this is something I have been looking for in different places. What happened? I would like to tell you one of the most touching things that happened to me personally during these last two days. And that is when you started the first time sharing the Heart Sutra, the power and strength of it was just overwhelming to me because I didn't know you would know it. And that reminded, it transcends cultures.

[22:48]

It was very powerful, I thought. And then all of you knew the horse. It was a surprise to me. And I remembered in that one moment, just my feet were having a breathtaking weight. The first time I heard the horseshooting myself, it was the one thing that kept me practicing, because I wasn't doing it for the other people in the room at that time in my life. I was doing the heart syndrome, and I was very touched to be here in a country that I don't know, and to hear the heart syndrome so powerfully achieved. I think it's very powerful. One of the most moving moments during the last two days was when I heard for the first time how you chanted the Heart Sutra.

[23:52]

It was a very moving moment, how the Heart Sutra is something that goes through all cultures. It struck me when I heard the Heart Sutra for the first time, that I felt something similar. And that was actually the reason why I continued with the practice. I really practiced to believe in the Heart Sutra. And that was a very moving moment for me, to hear the Heart Sutra here in this foreign land. Thank you. This year I made a decision to make the most important thing in my life and I realized it was the most beautiful and the most difficult thing for me to do.

[25:20]

I am very touched that I can be in touch with this state of Sudoku Roshi. I think a lot about Sudoku Roshi and Sudoku Roshi I just have sometimes the feeling that I connect with Beka Roshi when I sit and when Beka Roshi is not in Europe. And I would like to say that I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity that I have, that I can come here and I thank everyone who has come to Ulrike for this wonderful session. I very much touched the world this stick of Suzuki Roshi in my hand.

[26:21]

I'm very much devoted to the Suzuki Roshi and I sometimes have the feeling he connect me with you when you're not in Europe and when I'm sitting And I'm very grateful that I had the opportunity to come here and to meet you again and to be with all these people here. And I thank everybody who has contributed to it and also Ulrike who has been translating so beautifully. And I thank you very much for your most beautiful work this morning. Thank you. So I led last year's seminar and that was my first experience with Zen. And as I've already said, the last year I've not found it easy to establish the pattern of meditation in my life.

[27:31]

I feel from this weekend I've gained a lot more inspiration to persevere. And I find the idea of daily memory very comforting, because I've absorbed a lot. I can't understand all that much, but I can't think that my memory works. Would you translate what she said, Ron? Right. Vor einem Jahr war meine erste Begegnung in Berlin. Da habe ich es schwierig gefunden, eine Meditationspraxis durchzuführen. Und jetzt habe ich noch einige Inspirationen bekommen

[28:34]

I'm making something up. Oh, and what was very important in this seminar... I'm not there with you, but I'm with the Dharani Gedeknis. I'm very pleased to speak to you. So we are coming, I'm very pleased to speak to you. I'm blessed to speak with you. During the seminar I thought a lot about what it means to take possession of a physical existence. And I especially thought about what it really means to be a lay practitioner. Roger said that in a monastery the monks support each other very much. even if they don't understand anything, let's say, take up a lot from the physical side and don't get around it at all.

[29:53]

That is an aspect that is really missing in self-practice. And I wonder if you can support each other more in self-practice in order to get this element into you. During the seminar, I was very much involved with this statement of yours to inhabit the territory of one's physical existence. And a question arose out of this. You've mentioned several times that in monasteries there's this coercive energy that people study very much from each other in this kind of mandala type of space through their bodies.

[30:55]

And that's something, some quality that's lacking in lay practice. And the question I'm dealing with now, how can we kind of find something equivalent to this in our lay practice? And it feels to me like this is exactly this element that has always been lacking in lay practice and which is very difficult to kind of provide in lay practice. So this is a question I'm taking from the sermon now of how to deal with this. I'm also very glad to hold Suzuki or she stick in my hand. To try to be able to do this has actually been, is my life work.

[31:57]

But I don't think you can actually imagine how much I do, am doing this with you. I don't just come to you as the recipient of Suzuki Roshi's lineage. For there's two lineages, the vertical lineage of Suzuki Roshi from Buddha through Suzuki Roshi to myself. And there's the horizontal lineage, which is you, which makes the vertical lineage come alive. So you are really bringing, helping me make, and I'm helping you, make the teaching alive within each of us. And that's true, not false.

[33:18]

And I like the fact that this teaching is so joyous and also difficult. We need something difficult in our life. And we need something we can't reach the end of. And no matter how long I live or how much I practice, I will not reach the end of practice or Buddhism. And each of you is a vast universe. Each of you is bigger than Buddhism. But Buddhism and practice can help you really know that. So I'm very grateful to be doing this with you. I would like us to chant the Heart Sutra.

[34:25]

And then afterwards we'll have a break. Then I'll try to say a few things to bring this together, if it's possible. CHOIR SINGS

[35:29]

me me Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching.

[36:56]

Thank you for watching. Shutei oto no shuno chōi saibu genji no mokou kōchetsu hanyaragi kagusoku zetsu shubu wa tsukate kante hara dante arasawa dante kōki kaganyashimi no Well, it's 4.29, 4.30, so 20 minutes.

[38:26]

That's not true. No, I haven't listened to anything. All of whom? I've never listened to them. I have them. I haven't listened to them. But I hear they're not bad on the Autobahn over 140. I guess you said something about it's possible to meet here, maybe? Yes, I said that. I said, I offered money on Thursday evening, and I said, after the same amount of reading, people can meet with me, and then you can talk about all your details, all that could happen. Well, I would like that very much, because I'd like there would be a way for you to continue that, you know, even if only one or two come and sometimes five or six, it makes, it helps.

[39:27]

And you know it's there. Yes. What? You just said there are several centers. What a heretic you are. No, that's good. Monday night you can go to one place, Thursday the next. Have I hit you yet? and also if there's um if i feel you're continuing naturally uh you know i'm going to go to the places where people are practicing the most so you're practicing more here i'll come more

[40:32]

I think that has to be translated. If I really have the feeling that such a practice is established in you, which takes time, then it is very important for me, because I go where people practice. If you practice with me, I come more often. Okay. Of course you can practice anywhere and every situation is what we call the bodhi mandala. Any situation, if you get the mandala of it, is the site of enlightenment. But some of these practices are easier to do in some situations than another.

[41:48]

And transitional situations, like transitional situations are the most... are the easiest times to catch the feeling of practice. And that's of course transitional situations in your life, between jobs, between girlfriends. I don't like the term girlfriend, by the way. It should be woman friend or something like that. Yeah. And psychological and physical, medical transition states are opportune times, vivid time for practice.

[43:22]

But also transitions in the simple, so-called simple, physical world are good places to practice. And so that's why I gave you the practice of stepping through the door. And Luigi caught me stepping through with the wrong foot already. means that you don't have to do it all the time or you can be forgetful like me But it's good for a time, really, quite a long period of time, a year or two, to actually try to make an effort to do it.

[44:43]

Another excellent time to try to enter the physical mandala of your own body-mind experience. is on stairwells, is on stairs. It's a transitional state, which generally you're not doing anything but going up or down stairs. You can't really think too much about complex accounting or problems or something like that because you've got to pay attention to going up and down stairs. So it's a good time to have the feeling at the top of the stairs that by the bottom of the stairs I will have completed something. A little vow where you vow, by the bottom of the stairs I will enter the immediacy of my own physical experience.

[45:58]

Somebody asked me if we could have time to practice walking meditation. We don't, but this is a practice. And you feel you're stepping off into an abyss as you are. And the step comes up to meet you. And so you reach, your foot goes out with a sense of woo. Is there going to be anything there? And then, ah, the stare. And you feel you're swimming down this thing. And when you go up, it's even better. Because it changes your breathing right away. He got it.

[47:19]

Okay. So that's a good time to practice. This is a good moment to practice. I can't tell you how good it is, but it may take you a while to get the feeling of it. Okay, I put these two scrolls up. The one on the right was given to me by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. And you can see his handwriting down at the bottom. And it's a simple scroll, a gift when he was visiting my temple in California.

[48:26]

It's contemporary and it's meant to be, it's painted very distinctly so that you can visualize it. And the one on the left was given to me by Yamada Mumonroshi. who died a year or so ago. He was probably the leading Zen master and Zen calligrapher of Japan.

[49:04]

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