Good morning, everyone. I want to talk this morning about Zazen, this practice of just sitting that we've just been doing. In some fundamental way, the work of Zen priests and Zen practice leaders is simply to encourage Zazen, to encourage everyone to do it. To do this, this practice, this upright sitting, which allows us to settle more deeply into who we are and explore that and become friends with ourselves and see through all of the illusions that we create by believing in some self. That we've constructed together with, well, parents and teachers and our culture and all upbringing. So in some basic way, the point of this practice, the point of Zen, the point of what we're doing is just sitting.

[01:23]

But I want to talk about what the point of just sitting is. So, particularly in our tradition, which we refer to as Soto, which comes from, well, from Dogen in the 1200s who brought it from China to Japan and going back to the early ancestors in China, Dongshan and others I've been speaking of, Yaoshan I'll speak of tomorrow. And then to Suzuki Roshi, Shunryu Suzuki, who brought, one of the people who brought this from Japan to the United States who came to San Francisco in the 60s and whose lineage we're in. The point of Zazen is expression, to express ourselves, to see through our ideas of ourself, but then to express Zazen heart, to express that which is...

[02:25]

Which we come to see through regular sitting, through just being upright and facing the wall and facing ourselves and doing this over some time. So, Zazen is a form of expression. We sit like Buddha, upright, still, silent, like Buddha, and settle into this awakened awareness, which is what we, which is what Buddha is a name for. But then also, in our tradition, from the early Chinese teachers through Dogen to Suzuki Roshi, we emphasize the expression of Zazen in our life. We emphasize how, you know, sometimes in ways we don't really understand, and sometimes through the particular practices which we share and talk about, we express Zazen in our life, in the world, with the people around us, in our society.

[03:51]

So, one thing is to say what the point of just sitting is not. The point of just sitting is not to reach some ultimate state of being or state of mind. In some Zen traditions, still, I think this is considered the point, but in our tradition, it's not. The point isn't to have some dramatic experience of, you know, the ultimate or the universal or some great enlightenment experience. That happens, actually, and part of what happens as we do this practice of sitting regularly, and I encourage for people who are just here for the first time this morning, I encourage people to do this regularly, several times a week at least, at home, whenever you can fit in 20 minutes or whatever, just to stop and sit and face the wall.

[05:03]

And notice, pay attention to what is happening on your seat. But the point isn't to get high. The point isn't to reach some ultimate experience. Again, those experiences happen. The point isn't to reach some great understanding of Buddhism or awakening. The point is just to settle the self in the self, as Ujiyama Roshi used to say, just to be present and actually see one's own pattern of grasping and anger and confusion and not be caught by it, to be able to respond to the world, to express this deep awareness in the world. So we do experience this deep communion with the ultimate or the universal or whatever, any word I say isn't it, and we sometimes have dramatic experiences of it too, but that's not the point.

[06:09]

That's the starting point of practice. The point of just sitting is not just sitting. The point of just sitting is to deepen our communion with the ultimate and then see how that is expressed in our everyday activity. Part of what we learn by doing this practice regularly is our deep, deep, deep connectedness with all beings, with all the people in our life, with all the people we've ever met, with all the beings in our life and with our environment. So in one of Dogen's first writings about the meaning of Zazen, he says that when one person sits Zazen even for a little while, all of space awakens, all of reality awakens.

[07:10]

I've been sitting with that koan statement for decades, and what does it mean? What is our connection with space, with reality, with the environment? And how is this the point of our just sitting, to express this? So in that same writing, Dogen talks about the mutual guidance between the person sitting and earth, grasses, trees, fences and walls, tiles and pebbles even, that our just sitting practice is not just navel gazing. It's not just some self-help practice. We do benefit from it if we stay with it. We do learn to accept our ancient twisted karma, to become friends with ourselves, to try and express Buddha as best we can in our life.

[08:18]

And then a lot of the teaching in our tradition is about how to do that. So Zazen is part of the Bodhisattva tradition, the tradition of awakening beings who are dedicated not just to personal liberation, but to universal liberation. We realize that we're so connected with everything else, that our oxygen depends on the trees and the forests and water, and that we need water to live. And of course, with each other, all the people, your family, the people you work with, the people you encounter during your week, how do we express this deeper awareness with them? And it's not that we have to figure out some technique to do that, but through our deepening connection with our deeper awareness, this happens.

[09:25]

But we also need to pay attention to it. Again, the point of just sitting isn't just to sit around. The point of being present and upright is to be helpful in the world. So we have guidelines that we talk about a lot in this tradition about how Zazen is expressed in our everyday activity. So we have the Buddha precepts, which talk about taking refuge in Buddha, taking refuge in Dharma, taking refuge in Sangha, community, Dharma being the truth, the reality itself. We vow to embrace and sustain right conduct. We vow to embrace and sustain all good. We vow to embrace and sustain all beings. So we're connected with all beings. We face the wall not to keep out some unpleasant reality in our life or in the world that we want to run away from.

[10:27]

It's possible to use this just sitting as an escape from our lives. This is a standard warning throughout our tradition that it's possible to hide and deflect from the difficult realities of our own lives and of the world by doing this practice, where it's possible to just settle and feel, well the word bliss is used sometimes, feel the enjoyment of being present and upright and sitting like Buddha. But then how do we share that? How do we express that? So we have these precepts, there are 16 precepts. We also have the transcendent practices of bodhisattvas, generosity, ethical conduct, patience, very important, very active, dynamic practice. How do we pay attention patiently to the problems of our life and of the world?

[11:29]

And then energy or enthusiasm, how do we stay energized even amid difficulties? And then meditation or stabilizing, settling, insight, skillful means, which is not a matter of some instruction manual, it's a matter of making mistakes and trying to find how to be helpful. Commitment or vow, what is it that we're willing to really care about and dedicate ourselves to? Using our abilities and using our knowledge for the sake of insight, for the sake of radical helpfulness in the world. So again, the basic practice of just sitting, of zazen, it's the Japanese word for sitting meditation, is more than just sitting. It's this dynamic expression of something really deep that we connect with, that we can't quite name, that we can spend a lifetime trying to understand or just trying to express.

[12:42]

So this is a practice of expression. Zazen is in some ways a performance art. How do we perform Buddha on our seat, in this body, in this mind? With all of our confusion, with all of our frustration and anger at times. So a writing from Dogen that talks about the rhythm of this. This is a short writing from Dogen's extensive record. He says, the family style of all Buddhism ancestors is to first arouse the vow to save all living beings by removing suffering and providing joy. So the point of Buddhist practice is to end suffering. But it's not just about trying to take care of the person you think is on your cushion. First arouse the vow to save all living beings by removing suffering and providing joy. And he says, only this family style is inexhaustibly bright and clear.

[13:46]

In the lofty mountains we see the moon for a long time. As clouds clear, we first recognize the sky. So this is Dogen's poetic way of talking about the practice of settling, of just sitting. We see the moon for a long time. We see wholeness. We take time to see the possibility of wholeness. As clouds clear, we first recognize the openness of the sky. And we allow the clouds to drift around. And so thoughts and feelings come up in the middle of our sitting and we don't try and push them away. But we allow them to pass and to come back to just enjoying the openness that is possible. And this takes a while to experience this. And this is actually endless, but it's a process that happens as we take on regular sitting. Then Dogen says, cast loose down the precipice. The moonlight shares itself within the ten thousand forms.

[14:49]

So the point of this is that when we are doing this practice regularly, we share something with all the different beings. And we have these guidelines, these practices like the precepts and the transcendent practices to help us look at when we're doing that and when we're not. But, you know, it happens beyond our control. So I remember one of the people in our sitting group in Hyde Park talked about how after she'd been sitting for a while, she was riding up in the elevator in her building and one of her neighbors said, Oh, what have you been doing? You just seem so... I forget what words, open or, you know, they felt something from her zazen. And she wasn't trying to, you know, do anything. It's just that they noticed some effect. This happens too. This is part of sharing ourselves within the ten thousand forms.

[15:53]

And then Dogen says, in conclusion, even when climbing up the bird's path, even when following the path that we can't really see of zazen, that's a metaphor that's used for this process, even when climbing up the bird's path, taking good care of yourself is spiritual power. So we take care of ourselves and that's sometimes a big challenge. Sometimes we don't take care of ourselves. We take care of ourselves because we're also expressing this, trying to be helpful in our lives. So these sixteen precepts, I didn't read all of them, but to me they come down to including all beings. So we face the wall not to keep anything out, not to build walls to keep any kind of people out or any beings out, but to see ourselves as a mirror. The wall is a kind of mirror and it's also a window to see our connection with all beings. We sit and thoughts and feelings come up

[16:57]

and things that have happened in the last week or the last day or the last lifetime come up and we witness that. So it's seeing, it's connecting with all beings, it's respect, radical respect for all beings and for ourselves, taking good care of ourselves too. And then it's also trying to be helpful rather than harmful. It's not about, you know, good and evil or something like that. It's just how do we be helpful to those around us and to ourselves rather than harmful. And how do we help others who are causing harm not to be harmful. So there's not one right way to be Buddha. Each one of you, I can't tell you how to be Buddha. I can't tell you how to express Zazen in the world. I can't give you the right response. But part of the point of just sitting is not just sitting,

[17:58]

but also to respond to the world around us. So as many of you know who've been coming here, I'm also a political activist and I talk about things happening in the world that concern me. Things like climate damage, which should concern all of us, with horrible enhanced storms on the east coast and fires burning on the west coast near where many of my friends live, for example. And that's going to get worse and how do we respond to that? Rather than pretending it doesn't exist, how do we actually support sustainable energy systems and getting rid of dependency on fossil fuel? This is to me important, so I talk about that.

[18:59]

But we live in a very politically divisive time. I also care about injustice and talk about that. This is difficult. The past couple of weeks, the confirmation of Judge Kavanaugh, we see how divided our country is. So I will say myself that I'm somewhat horrified at this new Chief Justice on the Supreme Court. I care about women's rights. I care about the environment. I care about not having the Supreme Court support control of our government, our society by huge corporations. And I'm afraid that Judge Kavanaugh will be harmful in all those ways.

[20:04]

But also I'm willing to see if, despite my fears and concerns, maybe he will be impartial, maybe he will be responsible. Part of right view in Buddhism is not to hold on to one view, not to be self-righteous about one's own views. So sometimes people here disagree with things I say about what's happening in society, and that's great, and I encourage that. We each have our own way to respond to the world, and we each have our own areas of concern in which we respond. And there's not one right way. And right view is not about being self-righteous with one's own views. It's the opposite of that. It's about being willing to listen to the fears and concerns of others.

[21:07]

And still, part of the precepts is speaking truth to power, so I do say how I see things sometimes. But again, this is all part of how do we express that deeper awareness of just sitting. Just sitting is not just sitting. Just sitting is connecting with what do we care about, how do we share helpfulness rather than harmfulness in our personal interactions, in our response to all of the different situations in the world, and with ourselves, taking good care of ourselves, too. So what's difficult about this practice is not getting your legs into some funny position and sitting still for an extended period. I mean, that may be difficult, and we have a few people here

[22:11]

who just had meditation instruction, and that's wonderful. But what's difficult is facing ourselves and facing the world, facing the people we interact with, and seeing the difficulties. It's not about avoiding the difficulties. And then we each have our own way of expressing that. It's very important not to impose your view on someone else's view. But it's okay to speak your view. So how can we, when we do disagree, disagree respectfully, listen to each other? But again, this sasana is basically about

[23:14]

this deep practice of expression, expressing ourselves, but expressing something that is beyond ourselves. And again, it happens that we have sometimes dramatic experiences of this, but as Suzuki Roshi used to say, walking through the fog in Golden Gate Park, near where he lived, gradually my robes get damp. So our willingness to stop every day if you can, or many times a week, several times a week, and sit down and face the wall, face yourself, face the world, and allow thoughts and feelings to come, let them go, appreciate the space between the thoughts and feelings,

[24:14]

but that's not the point either. How do we sit in the middle of the reality of this difficult world? So just sitting, this sasana, is a form of expression that helps us to express ourselves, to respond. So I can keep babbling, but maybe I'll stop there and encourage other expressions, or responses to anything I've said, or comments, or whatever any of you want to say. And please feel free to express whatever comes up for you. Thank you. Comments, please. Brian.

[25:18]

Thank you for a wonderful reminder of Zazen and also its relationship to living in the world. You know, I wonder if you might be able to comment a little bit on what I'm wondering, might be a third way. You know, when... in practice, I find that, you know, I see myself, and I see my delusions and my patterns of behavior. And I like to fix things. I like to improve things. And so there's this tendency to fix myself when I see what's going on. In the same way, I realize, as you were talking, that, you know, it's... we see the suffering of the world around us, whether that's on a global scale or very specific in terms of one person. And there's this, again, you know,

[26:22]

we don't want to be passive. Oh, isn't that interesting? But there also can be for some of us a tendency to want to fix and improve and be attached to the outcome and certain of our position and all those things. What's the third way? Yeah, good. It's good that you see your habit of wanting to fix things and problem-solve and take care of things. And if you can do that, that's great. Please, fix whatever you can. Brian fixed the problem we had of all the cushions just stacked up in the back corner there, and he built that cabinet for us. You know, that was great. You fixed something. So, you know, when you can fix something, when you can take care of something, please do it. But if you get too attached to that and you think you can fix everything,

[27:24]

you know, when we do that, we can control it. Some things we can control. Also, our idea of fixing and progress is just an idea of fixing and progress. There's always these unintended consequences, collateral damage from our fixing things. So, you know, we've had all these wars, endless wars, and, you know, on some level people maybe thought they were taking care of something and fixing something, but then there's all these dead civilians around. That's the global example. But as long as we don't think we can fix and control everything, I think it's okay to fix things. People who are really powerful,

[28:29]

who are really good at fixing things, who are really good at fixing and controlling things, you know, at some point, you know, they can become very powerful and become, you know, presidents and things, and they, you know, think they can fix everything and find out they can't. Our world is not just what we think it is, ever. There's so many... Reality is so complex. And we reach vast and contain multitudes. So our idea of fixing things is not necessarily fixing things. And yet, if you think you can... So skillful means... Bodhisattva practice of skillful means is trying things and trying to be helpful, and that's good. Just don't think you can run the world or even your own household. Thank you. And new people, too.

[29:35]

Please feel free. Yeah. Well, all of these things happen here. The movements of the bodhisattva around the world, what we see especially here. What feels like a backfire in some ways, or echoes fast. And also these very troubling things with climate change and so on. I've been trying to ask myself a lot of similar lines.

[30:38]

In this sort of way, I acknowledge these things are happening and work to try to reverse course or somehow manage them and also be okay with... How do I also be okay with the fact that the conditions might not be such that they can be reversed? Whatever course is going to be charted is going to be based on being okay with things. Yeah, that's a really subtle question. How to be okay with things as it is and at the same time when things are really seriously a mess as I believe they are now in our world and it's very dangerous.

[31:40]

There are so many things. I could start mentioning all the different issues. But just for example, I heard 12,800 children being detained without their parents in detention camps on the Mexican border. It's just disgusting. That's what our tax dollars are going to. There's lots of things that I get really riled up about. As a political activist, I believe in going out on the streets and going to demonstrations and stuff. We've seen the effect of that in Washington. It didn't stop Judge Kavanaugh. I encourage people who are interested in that. Because there's lots of different ways. Part of the change that needs to happen that will make us be more resilient in the face of the climate damage that is happening

[32:43]

and will continue to happen and increase, part of how we can be more resilient is to be present and kind and helpful to the people around us, to look, to study more deeply in the world, to take good care of ourselves. And then each of us has our own ways of being helpful and responsive. There's not one right way. So it's a great question. Being okay is maybe too much, but being able to keep going and do our best in a difficult situation and in increasingly difficult situations is important and makes a difference. Thank you. Please. Yeah.

[34:08]

Yeah, but that which we are resisting also is creating suffering. So there's a lot of things that are called the resistance now. And they're not all... I don't know if they're all constructive, but I also try and encourage political activists to just sit and to settle and to be present with one's own feelings and reactions. So it's a delicate balance. It's not about... It's about being present in a way that accepts the reality of it and that works with it, in the way that Asian martial arts work with the energy and try and help steer things in a positive way. But if we get... So practicing with anger can harbor ill will.

[35:28]

So how do we hold on to opposing that which should be opposed? Perhaps it's happening, not just in our society, but maybe some situation at work where somebody's causing a lot of difficulty. How do you watch that and pay attention patiently and try and shift it, if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention? How do we pay attention and feel our outrage? It's not about suppressing anger, but then how do we not turn that into this hatred? That's not helpful. I don't hate Judge Kavanaugh. I hope he does a good job. Harboring ill will,

[36:29]

holding on to our anger and letting it fester is self-corrosive, so we have to take care of ourselves too. How do we turn the energy of anger? It's very energetic when we feel that kind of anger in some situation in our life as well as in the world. How do we turn that energy rather than getting caught up in the anger and the frustration and feeling it eats away at us, it's corrosive? It's important to use those energies in constructive ways. That's a huge challenge. This isn't easy, but part of the practice of coming back to just sitting and not act from our patterns

[37:31]

of reaction, but to act with a little bit more space, possibly seeing other options. There's not one right way to respond, and how to respond changes as the situation changes. This is the subtlety of expressing zazen. Again, it's not about just sitting and becoming good at being a meditator or feeling good about oneself. One has to be paying attention. That doesn't answer your question, but it's some response. Thank you for the question. Are there responses? Any thoughts anyone has? Yes, Paula. So, I'm just agreeing with what you just said,

[38:32]

and thinking that maybe we should think of it as engagement and not as resistance or reversal. Because we know we can't go backwards. But how you said with zazen that we don't really sit with a goal in mind. We don't really think about having some kind of enlightenment experience. We're trying to stay in the present with whatever's going on, acknowledging that present moment so the engagement could possibly take the form of staying in the present and engaging with skillful means in that moment without worrying about what you said. Reality is very complex. So if we only engage because we want to see an end result, that's the only reason. I'm going to engage so that, for example, this person doesn't

[39:35]

get appointed to the Supreme Court and then that doesn't happen. That's where all the pain is in our own ideas of what reality should be. And engage only in that moment. And then if the outcome is not where we want it to be, we engage in that next moment. Because I really think that regardless of all these things that are going on, not only in here but around the world, really, we can all come up with separate ideas of why we think it's happening. But it's too complex with too many variables and too many areas of the world to say we know exactly what. So now it goes back to faith.

[40:37]

I believe we are getting to a different place. But we have to go through this pain, suffering, and engagement to get there. Because there's no real world without tension. If we just stay in our little comfort zone, nothing will change and nothing would have gotten better. So we could say, maybe too, we were in a comfort zone and these things that were only underneath the surface were ready to come up and be dealt with. Because they were there. When they came up, they were there. But we didn't realize they were there. So maybe it's okay that it's hard right now because this is the only way to whatever that next state of being is going to be. And we know it could go either way. Of course it can. Because we don't know what our future is going to look like. But we can only engage moment by moment. Because that's all we have.

[41:38]

Right? Arizazan teaches that's all we have. Right. Good. Yeah, engaging rather than resisting. That's very helpful. Just to qualify that, this moment includes past, present, and future. But how do we pay attention to what's in front of us? Try and respond helpfully. So the whole situation with the Me Too movement and with these Dr. Blasey Fords and all the women who so courageously have spoken up about trauma and sexual assault. To the men, we have to hear that. This is a huge problem in our society. And how do we act as men respectfully? I was at a... This was some while ago, early 90s.

[42:39]

I was at a workshop at Green Gulch Farm. And there was a... The facilitators were asking questions about people about what had happened to people. And he asked how many of the women had been raped or sexually assaulted. And it was just amazing. Almost everyone stepped forward. So there's a real problem. It's not new. We're becoming more aware of it. So our culture is changing, and it's painful. But we have to adjust and change too, all of us. So, yeah. And it's not that we know the outcome or can control that. But our continued engagement

[43:40]

in the midst of everything changing, that's the point of the expression of just sitting. So thank you for that. We have time for any last comment, if anyone has something they want to say. Yes, thank you. Thank you. It's a beautiful discussion. I've been struggling with a lot of this stuff in the external world. And as I'm trying meditation practice, I feel like it's almost a metaphor for what I'm going through. Yes. Because when I'm sitting there, I've got a lot of these groups out in there. And there's all this fear that comes out. And it's like, I can't stop. It's like, I'm engaged in it. I've witnessed it. I really want to stop right now. I can't control my breath, and it can go away. It's supposed to. So, yeah. It's really helpful to think about

[44:43]

and know about some of the issues that are going on in the world. We're hearing them now. I probably have a lot of these loud thoughts and fear throughout my day at work, and I'm not noticing it. But once I feel it, there it is. I see it now. I don't know what to do with it yet. Right. Not knowing is very helpful. If we think we know what to do about it, it's a lot of trouble. To be open to looking at other possibilities, and to be willing to come back to just sitting, and to see all of this stuff we've been talking about that's happening in the world is also, as you say very well, happening on our own seats. Our own confusion, our own anger, our own fears, our own greed. How do we see that? And not try and control it or push it away,

[45:43]

but just be there. You used the word witnessing, and I think that's helpful, to just see it and get to know it. Become friends with yourself and these problems. It takes patience and time of paying attention. Thank you for that. Kathy, did you have something? I was just thinking about the need to knock on this door for people who don't think right. Yes. And I found myself doing that when I moved from Kentucky and I went back to New York. And I did it with some dedication. And so I think I really believe in that. Anyway, I was surprised that you're number two.

[46:46]

And she talked about that she's really looking to maintain friendships, relationships with people who think like her and don't think like her. And we talked about that a bit. And I think that's important because if we can stay connected with people that we don't think like, there's more room for what we have in common. What in common is that? What in common is that? How do we shift back to that? You know, I see it happening in myself. I know it's something to work with around yourself. How can you think that way? Yeah. Right. Yeah, I'm working with that too. It's challenging. Good. Thank you. So thank you all very much for a good discussion.

[47:55]

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