Good morning. I want to speak this morning about zazen, our fundamental practice that we've just done of upright sitting. And I specifically want to talk about awareness and mental awareness as part of it, involved in zazen. So I want to talk about this in terms of particular story often quoted in Soto Zen, the branch of Zen we do here going back to the 13th century founder Dogen. And this is a story he tells amongst other places in his extensive record, Dogen's extensive record, and it's about an old Chinese master named Yaoshan. a couple of generations before the Chinese founder, Dong Shan, a couple of generations before.

[01:05]

And one time, Yao Shan was sitting very still. And a monk asked him, what are you thinking while in steadfast, immovable sitting? And Yao Shan said, I think of not thinking. The monk said, oh, how do you think of not thinking? And Yaoshan said, beyond thinking. So when I first started practicing the translations for this, I mostly said non-thinking. And that didn't make sense to me, because there didn't seem to be any difference between not thinking and non-thinking. It's just a matter of English translation. In Japanese, it's two negational particles or characters, fushiryo and hishiryo. And then I saw Sherlock Okamura's translation. He said, beyond thinking. And because of that translation, I went to Japan for two years to translate with Sherlock who ended up doing three books.

[02:13]

Anyway, beyond thinking. What does beyond thinking mean? Maybe that needs as much unpacking as non-thinking. What is it that happens mentally with our minds with our awareness as we are sitting in this upright sitting. So Dogen has some comments on this, so I'll come back to, but... Yangshan said, I think of not thinking. And it could also, it might also be translated as I think of that which does not think. But he thinks about it. What is going on? What is happening? So I'm talking now about the ideal of what we call sometimes just sitting, shikantaza, and so to say. And I'll, at the end, qualify this with all the things that we maybe need to do to be ready to do that.

[03:19]

But this beyond thinking, what does that mean? Well, it doesn't mean thinking. But it also doesn't mean not thinking. So it's not the absence of thought, but it's not thinking, at least in the usual way we think of thinking. What's going on in our awareness as we sit? Which we just did. Well, of course, as you're sitting, thoughts come up, many thoughts. to-do lists, and things that happened yesterday, and all kinds of thoughts, random thoughts come up. And practically speaking, often as we're sitting, thoughts arise. And the thinking mind, sometimes there are many, many thoughts. So we had a few people here who had Zazen instruction for the first time and just sat for the first time, and that's wonderful.

[04:20]

auspicious for all of us. One of the things that many people notice when they first stop and sit and face the wall and are present with this body and mind is that there's all these thoughts. And sometimes people have the idea that they are what they think or that they can control their thinking or that they know what they're thinking about. And obviously that's not the case. You stop and sit for 30 or 40 minutes thoughts arise. And as Sri Lakshmi's teacher, Uchiyamaro, she says, naturally, as we're sitting here, digestive juices are secreted by our stomachs. Of course, we don't try and stop that or the other functions of our body. And similarly, thoughts are secreted by our brain. So it's not that Zen is about stopping all thinking. There is the thought that's a kind of common misperception or misguided thought that enlightenment is about having no thoughts at all.

[05:27]

And people think that they have to get rid of all their thoughts. I mean, that does happen. People think that, amongst all the many other deluded thoughts we may have. So this awareness in Gazan is not about not thinking, and yet it's not about thinking either. This beyond thinking, to use this translation, which I like most, is maybe it's a kind of thinking. It's certainly a kind of awareness. So the point of this sitting as The Ashram's teacher, Shruta, said in the Song of the Grass Hut, which we chant sometimes, is to let go of a hundred years of years and relax completely. So we sit upright, but relaxed. And relaxing completely may also be this ideal that is hard to reach.

[06:31]

Sometimes it might just be relaxed. But often there's some tension in our shoulders or some, if we sit long enough, some discomfort in our knees or our back or whatever. But as we relax into just being present and upright, There's still some awareness. We try not to sleep. It happens during longer sittings that sometimes you may be very sleepy and there's some sleeping that is part of upright sitting too. That's possible. It took me many years to be able to do that. But the point is to be awake and to be aware. So we keep our eyes open. as we sit. Some forms of Buddhist meditation that close their eyes, but in our tradition we sit with our eyes open facing the wall.

[07:34]

Now, that said, if there's lots of thinking going on and you're feeling agitated or whatever while you're sitting, it's okay to close your eyes for a minute or two, just to help settle. There are many things I want to talk about how we settle into this. But the point is that as we sit, we are present and aware. So there's some awareness there. So maybe this beyond thinking in some ways is a kind of thinking, but how does it differ from our usual thinking? How do we be present and aware, and yet our usual thinking we could say is discursive or dualistic thinking.

[08:39]

And this is, I would say it's in our bodies, but it's certainly in our language. Our thoughts usually are connected with words, not always. We may think visually, or we may think in terms of sounds. And that's maybe closer to beyond thinking. But beyond thinking is just awareness. So it's also physical. It's physical awareness. We're aware of the sound of the air conditioning. We're aware of our physical sensations. But the thoughts that come up in the middle of zazen, our usual thoughts that are conditioned by language, Subject, verb, object, it's deeply ingrained in our grammar and syntax. We think that way. And maybe some languages are more or less dualistic. In Japanese, the verb is at the very end.

[09:42]

So, but there's also objects, you know, before that. But we think in terms of subjects verbing objects. We think in terms of separation. Our thought, this thinking, our convention, our usual thinking is very much marked with separation, a sense of separation, a sense of Well, subjects verbing objects, and if we're the subject then there's objects out there that we're verbing. Or maybe we're afraid of being verbed by subjects out there. Whatever. There's this inherent separation, dualism, in our discursive thinking. So this beyond thinking is not about that. how do we find this beyond thinking? It's still, it's not absence of thinking exactly. It's not absence of awareness. And it's possible during a period of zazen in the midst of all the thoughts to just be there and be present and mindful and aware and see the wall in front of us

[10:56]

and not think about it. So Yashara was pointing to that kind of awareness. Now practically speaking, of course, thoughts continue to be secreted. So we do have thoughts that are conditioned by language. And the practice then is, okay, just as soon as we're aware of some thought, to let it go. Not to try and stop those thoughts. That would be not thinking. And there are some meditative exercises that sometimes some Buddhists do to cut off all thoughts. And maybe that's helpful in particular situations sometimes for a little while. That's not the point. So thoughts come. Well, what do we do when that happens? Well, one basic instruction is to not think about the thoughts, or not try and do anything with the thoughts, because usually our subject-verb-object thinking discursive mode is to try and manipulate objects out there to get what we want.

[12:12]

This is, you know, it's not just based on our cultural norms, although it certainly is enforced by the culture. We try and get as much as we can so that we'll be happy or whatever. But also, it's part of language. Again, I would say it's biological for primates. to what extent other animals have a sense of the separation. Other animals also certainly go and find food to eat, for example, or hide from predators. So there is this sense of separation. But this, just sitting, this assessment that we're doing here, goes deeper than that. Well, practically speaking, of course we do have thoughts. And sometimes we get caught in it or we follow a train of thought or a stream of thought and we think about something.

[13:16]

That happens in zazen too. And it's not exactly that that's not zazen. It's not that that's not zazen. If we're sitting upright and present and aware, at some point you can be aware that you've been on some stream of thought and trying to figure something out. So again, our usual thinking is about manipulating something out there or ourselves to, you know, for some purpose, some intention to get something, to get rid of something. And we do get, we do experience that kind of thinking in our sitting. And the practice then is not to try and stop that from happening, but just to let it go. Come back to uprightness, come back to inhale and exhale. How do we do that? Well, okay. Here's another thought, let it go. More may come in the next breath. But we return to this physical awareness.

[14:19]

So I won't say it's not mental, but it's also a bodily awareness. Our mind and our body, of course, aren't really separate. and we are aware of our posture and our uprightness, and of inhale and of exhale. And somewhere in the middle of that letting go is this beyond thinking. And maybe the whole process is beyond thinking. When you settle into that situation, actually insight arises. If you're not holding on to thoughts, you may have some insight that arises. This is actually very common, and that's fine, actually. and we may try and formulate the insight into words.

[15:21]

Sometimes it appears as words, sometimes maybe not, just as a feeling or some awareness about some situation that we're thinking about, some problem in our life this week. When such insight arises, you don't have to stop and think about it. You know, that may happen, but then let that go too. Insight is part, that kind of insight is physical. So when you get up from sitting and you need to think about some situation or problem, the insight is there. All of this is the process of this beyond thinking. I think about not thinking. You know, Sean said. He didn't say, I try to not think. He didn't say, I get involved in my thinking.

[16:23]

I think about not thinking. So this is kind of subtle. It's very subtle, actually. And as we do this practice regularly, and I recommend doing it regularly, several times a week or more, Even for 15 or 20 minutes. Take a cushion and a blanket or something, you don't need regulation, black cushions to do this at home. Letting go of thoughts. Without stopping them from arising. coming back to inhale and exhale, just being present, beyond subject-object. So I want to have some time for discussion about this, but I want to refer to what Dogen says about this.

[17:28]

One place he says, the existing mind has already withered. Non-mind has not yet appeared. in the vitality of this lifetime, purity is supreme. So existing mind is yes-mind, existing mind. Non-mind is mushin, non-mind, no-mind. The existing mind is already withered, non-mind has not yet appeared. So it's somewhere in between those, or somewhere outside those. So existing mind is mental function. Non-mind is without thinking at all. Somewhere in between there. Existing mind is already withered, non-mind is not yet appeared.

[18:30]

So this is, you know, when he says purity is supreme, this is the ideal for this zazen, the vitality of this lifetime. And yes, actually as we do this practice, we feel the vitality of our life. We can appreciate our life more fully. Here we are. We can be here without being caught by our thinking and yet still open to awareness. In his Universal Recommendations for Zazen, Sukhansa Zengi, which we sometimes chant, he says, once you have adjusted your posture, once you are upright, centered, not leaning forward, not holding back, not sliding left or right, as best we feel it, Rock your body right and left and settle into steady, immovable sitting.

[19:43]

So actually, as part of getting settled in Zazen, whenever you first arrive at your seat, one thing you can do is to rock left and right in decreasing arcs and find what feels like upright. And the same thing forward and backward. What is centered, what is upright? We also say it's like a string for the top back of our head reaching up to the sky and our spine is just hanging there. So it's not that you're holding yourself upright, it's like you're hanging there in emptiness. Your spine is just, our spine is never straight, you know, we all have curves in our spine, but in whatever way feels most centered. And sometimes, some of us have a tendency to slump in our lower back, so you might want to put a little, rub forward a little bit on your pelvis and find a little energy in your lower back. Helps open up your chest to allow this upright, relaxed situation.

[20:56]

So then he says, so he says, relax, take a breath, exhale fully. So as we're sitting, we pay attention to breathing, but it's not that you take a deep breath particularly, but you may, when you first come to your cushion or chair, take a deep breath, it's very helpful. And exhale fully. Rock your body right and left and settle into steady, immovable sitting. And then he says, quoting Yausha, think of not thinking. How do you think of not thinking? Beyond thinking. This is the essential art of zazen. Wilkin goes on to say, the zazen I speak of is not meditation practice. So there are all kinds of technical meditation practices. And I'm going to come to that. Some of that may be helpful in arriving at just sitting. But Dogen says what he's talking about is not these particular meditation techniques.

[22:06]

It is simply the dharma gate of peace and bliss, of full ease, the practice realization of totally culminated awakening. So this sitting is not some practice in order to reach some future mental or physical or existential state of being. It's about just expressing this awareness and realization right now. It's a kind of mode of expression. So we sit upright, beyond thinking, which includes thinking and not thinking. It's about being present with your whole life. So of course, the thoughts that come up may relate to anything that's ever happened to you. or that ever will happen to you, and we just be present with that, beyond thinking.

[23:06]

And it really is the Dharma gate, the Zen gate, of finding ease with our life. of finding true peace. That doesn't mean being passive. So the other thing about this is that this is not, this beyond thinking he's talking about is not some static state. It's actually very dynamic. Thoughts arise. We take another breath. Our stomach continues to secrete digestive juices or whatever organs. Just being present. and thoughts come, and we may get caught up in the stream of thought, but then just let that go. So this, Dogen calls this beyond thinking the essential art of zazen. And I would say yes, but another way to put it is that the essential art of zazen is just letting go.

[24:12]

And again, that doesn't mean being passive, paying attention, but letting go of the tension in our shoulders, some thought, and then allowing it to arise again. It's not pushing away. So again, this is very subtle. When one first starts sitting, or when one first comes to your cushion, even if you've been sitting for decades, it's sometimes very helpful to follow some of those meditation teachings, meditation techniques, concentration objects. It's not so easy to just sit down and there you are in the middle of beyond thinking. So we do offer suggestions from the vast libraries of meditation technology, Buddhist and otherwise,

[25:20]

as a way of settling into this space of beyond thinking, just the Dharmagate of ease and peace and joy. So, for example, just following the breath. And you can also do counting the breaths. So, breath is one of the most recommended concentration objects because it's going on. And yet we can bring awareness to it. So to inhale and exhale, just naturally. And then at the end of the exhale, if you'd like, you can count one. At the end of the next exhale, count two. And just count to 10 exhales, and then start over again. Try and see how high you can count. Or if you lose count, that's fine. Just come back to one. Or you can forget about the numbers. But I would suggest that it may be very helpful to just pay attention, as you're just sitting in the middle of beyond thinking, to that space at the end of the exhale.

[26:36]

So there are many techniques for using breath as a way of settling. So part of this meditation is to settle into this space. Ultimately, this beyond thinking is a kind of panoramic awareness and a very open, spacious awareness. But to actually find your seat, to settle into that on any given particular period of zazen, or maybe especially as you start sitting, again, using breath or sounds is also a good one. So here we can hear the sound of the air conditioning when it clicks on or off. Sometimes we can hear sounds from the neighbors upstairs. Occasionally we hear sounds from the streets outside, not so often. We may hear rustling of other people in the Zendo.

[27:42]

Just to be aware of, you know, without trying to do anything with it or about it, just to be aware of sound is another helpful one. And there are many, many, many others. focus on a line of the teaching, like, how do you think of not thinking, beyond thinking? You can use that as a mantra. And mantra is another one. There are various phrases you can repeat silently to yourself. The point of all of those is to settle into just being present, into just beyond thinking. So again, I want to take questions about this. But one other maybe relevant passage from Dogen. Yeah, I won't read the whole thing, but I'll read part of it.

[28:46]

He says in another short dharma hall discourse later on, considering the wisdom of playing with the spirits as yourself, before you finish expounding the other, express yourself. This is very interesting. So we may think of all the spirits of everything as yourself, but He says, before you finish expounding the other or expressing the other, express yourself. So this practice of beyond thinking, in a way, is about a way of finding, of being with yourself, of not separating from yourself. But it's not the self that is the subject or object. It's the self that is beyond subject and object. It's the self of beyond thinking. And so maybe we each have our own way of beyond thinking. That's another thought that just arose from that. Dogen goes on, considering the teaching of beyond thinking as your realm, it is both existent and nonexistent.

[29:52]

When we discuss this responsive function, the pure wind is pervasive. So this beyond thinking is a responsive function. It functions, it works, and it's responsive. It's not ignoring the thoughts that arise. It's not ignoring our experience being present in the middle of beyond thinking. When we discuss this practice realization, the ancient crane sleeps. So cranes are very important animals, like dragons in Zen and Chinese and Japanese lore. And cranes live for a very long time. They're very wise like dragons. Often they live up in the mountains, high up in trees, up in the clouds. But they pay attention. But when we discuss this practice realization, this oneness of practice realization, the ancient crane can sleep and can rest easy. Maybe the cranes are paying attention to us when we're caught up in separation.

[31:02]

Already like this, above the precious glazed hall are suddenly colors of autumn. I'm not quite up to autumn yet. Before the bright moon hall appears the abundant dawn sky. So part of this beyond thinking is feeling the abundant sky, the spaciousness of our awareness when we are allowing beyond thinking to function on our cushion or chair. So again, the point of this is not to stop thinking, it's not to do it, it's not some particular kind of thinking either. So beyond thinking is not some category of thinking, it's just beyond thinking.

[32:02]

And again, this is maybe an ideal in our practice, which all of you, everybody who sits has experienced this, I believe, I really believe that, and yet, Practically speaking, following a breath or counting breaths or listening to sounds or using mantras or whatever is very helpful to settle us till we can be open to beyond thinking. So don't make beyond thinking into some special thing that you have to get. That's not the point. So I'll stop there. Questions, comments, responses, please feel free.

[33:07]

Some of you have heard this story or this teaching about beyond thinking maybe many times before. But it's good to come back to it. What is it we're doing as we're sitting in prayer? And as we sustain our sitting practice, maybe our sense of this can shift and change. So, again, questions, comments? And you people too, if you have any questions about this practice, please feel free. Jeremy. How do we know when to transition from the meditation technique to just sitting?

[34:11]

Beyond thinking. So it's not just thinking and it's not just not thinking, but it's just neither thinking or not thinking. Or maybe both thinking and not thinking. So yeah, how do we know when you are doing some, following some meditation object to settle? That's a good question. How do we know when to let that go? Well, you just kind of have to trust yourself. When you feel like you don't need to be counting breaths anymore or following breaths. And it's good to be aware of your breathing even as you're beyond thinking, but just let go. Try it. And if you feel caught up in thinking in too strong a way, you can come back to counting breaths or listening to sound or whatever technique you're using. You can come back to your mantra. Douglas. I wanted to add my two minutes.

[35:15]

Good. Counting is not some elementary practice. It's not like you're counting then there's beyond creation and out of creation. beyond thinking. You can count, if you wanted to, for the rest of your life. If you decide it's an impediment, or it's a distraction, then don't do that anymore. But to count, you're there, you're awake, and you know I should be counting. You're just counting That's an interesting and important point, that within beyond thinking there also can be some concentration object. As long as you're not using it to avoid thinking or using it to try and do some particular kind of discursive thinking, it can be part of the scenery of beyond thinking, absolutely, and it can be very helpful.

[36:26]

And this is very subtle stuff. To think about what is our thinking or not thinking as we're sitting maybe isn't the point. The point is just to do it. But again, how do we feel that spaciousness of beyond thinking? With, I'm counting breaths or whatever, As you wish. Ishin. Some schools of meditation suggest using something like mental labeling or mental noting of, you know, oh, having a thought or, you know, similar. And I guess I wonder if it's okay to have those experiences not verbally, not have to bring verbal thinking to what's happening on our cushions. I would recommend that. So, you know, there are lots and lots and lots of meditation techniques in various Buddhist schools, and I know that that Theravada practice of labeling as you are mindful of experiences or thoughts even has been helpful to some of you and can be helpful.

[37:52]

My own experience is that some of those techniques are more, and it may be different for different individuals, some of those techniques, like labeling or counting breaths or listening to sound, may be more amenable to beyond thinking, and maybe it's different for different people. So part of this sitting practice of the satsang, which I'm trying to get into some of the nitty-gritty of this morning, is that we each have our own different way of being Buddha. So part of Zazen is giving yourself Zazen instruction. As you're in the middle of a period, oh, am I slumping, or am I upright, or am I caught up in thinking, or am I sleepy? And then there are ways to kind of come back to this centeredness and to letting go of thoughts.

[38:58]

And sometimes that involves focusing on some object or doing some specific technique. But we each have to find that in our own body-mind. Yes, Roy? One thing I have found is sometimes when I was at home meditating, I'd be very agitated. full frustrations, and that would get rid of some of that excess energy, and then I could sit much more presently. Good. And in the Korean tradition that some of you have trained in or experienced that, frustrations are emphasized. But yes, that's very much part of our tradition, too. And so, yes, I would encourage you when you're sitting at home, as Roy said, if you feel sluggish or agitated, and get up and do some prostrations.

[39:59]

It helps if you have some Buddha image or, you know, it doesn't have to be a formal Buddha image, something that you feel good about prostrating to. Good. Yes, Steve. Yeah, I know your patient talked about with knowing thoughts. Yeah. The other thing I haven't mentioned before, Yeah, we have to trust our own experience. Yeah, so any of those techniques.

[41:11]

So that one particularly I have had trouble with, but I know for some people it's helpful. But when you're using some technique and it feels like it's in the way of your just being present, then don't hold on to it. So from the perspective of our tradition of just sitting and beyond thinking, these techniques are helpful to help settle. And you can keep using them, but also you can try letting go of them. Thank you. This is subtle stuff, and it takes a long time to find your way in it. And it changes as to what is helpful. Since I've also counted breasts, that was something that I began to do. And I know a lot of people who do that when they first start. And I've gone a number of years without counting breasts. But I stopped for about five years when it came to counting breasts when I first started sitting. And when I look back to it, I can't, I just can't.

[42:15]

So it actually is a valuable thing in terms of, you know, everyone's been wild. Yeah, and you can let go of some of these techniques and then come back to them and they can be very helpful. So it should be, you know, the quality of our Zazen changes. It's dynamic, it's not static. So again, we have to pay attention and be skillful with it. So thank you all very much. Please continue this practice. And if my words this morning have confused you, please forget them.

[42:50]

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