Good evening and welcome. I want to speak this evening about zazen, this sitting meditation we've just been doing, and its relationship to generosity. Generosity or giving is one of the main bodhisattva practices, the first of the bodhisattva enlightening transcendent practices. And in many ways, zazen is generosity. It supports generosity and relies on generosity. So I want to talk about that. And we chant in our meal chant, when we have formal meals in the meditation hall, we talk about giver, receiver, and gift, to talk about generosity. Generosity or giving depends on, well, as a relational practice, it depends on giving and receiving.

[01:11]

It's about an interaction. There's the giving and there's the receiving. And there's the gift itself. So I want to suggest that zazen as a gift, as the gift of compassion. And we can do this practice. We receive this practice thanks to the generosity of many beings. ancestors and the Buddhas who have passed this along to us. So we were just referring to some of them in the chant from Dogen who gave us this tradition of Soto Zen and Shakyamuni Buddha and Bodhidharma and all the ancestors. Suzuki Roshi who brought it from Japan to America in our lineage. But also for each one of us, we are here thanks to the generosity of, well, many beings, parents, grandparents, all of our, the people who, for whom, our genetic ancestors, but also all of the people who combine to

[02:31]

allow what is on our seats to be here, teachers, friends, family, loved ones. So Zazen can help to make us aware of that, that we have received some gift. We don't always think of this, but this zazen is a function of, or is a gift that we receive from many beings. But also zazen is a gift that we give to ourselves. We can't do this practice without giving, being generous to ourselves. we have to allow ourselves to do this practice of being present and upright, of expressing Buddha in this body-mind, as we do when we sit sasen.

[03:41]

We allow ourselves to show up, to come to a place like Ancient Dragon, or just to show up when we sit at home, we're giving ourselves an opportunity to be present, whatever our situation, today, this evening, and actually have the opportunity to pay attention, how we are this evening on our seats. This is a kind of gift that we give to ourselves. So we're receiving this gift from ourselves. There's also the giving up of ourselves that we do by offering ourselves to Buddha. We give up our usual idea of ourselves in order to do something as strange in a way as just sitting for 30 or 40 minutes to just be present and upright and sit like Buddha to feel what it feels like to be present and upright and express Buddha in this body mind and

[05:05]

So this is a gift that many people give us, that we give to ourselves, that we receive. And the receiving is an equal part of generosity. Sometimes it's hard to receive. In some ways, the most difficult part of receiving, of giving, of generosity is to actually accept a gift to receive, to be willing to receive this gift of Zazen in this case. But any gift sometimes is hard to receive. How do we receive graciously? How do we receive and actually appreciate the gift we have of this life that we have? and allows us to actually appreciate not our idea of ourself.

[06:13]

When we give up our idea of ourself, we actually see what's going on, how we feel. How do we feel with each inhale, with each exhale? What is it like to be the person sitting on our seat? And how strange and wonderful that is. for each of us to be whatever it is that is sitting here. Can we appreciate that gift? Can we receive that gift? With all of the problems we have received as well, with all the problems we give ourselves, So this is a complex process, generosity, giving, receiving, and this gift. And zazen is a way to explore this gift of our life, to receive and to give it to ourselves.

[07:15]

And then also, zazen, I think, allows us to develop our capacity to give to others, to give to ourselves as well, to be willing to be, so I don't want to pass over that. develop our capacity to be generous to ourselves, to forgive ourselves. Forgiving is a kind of giving, to forgive ourselves for our mind racing around or for having thoughts that we don't like or feelings that we don't like or for being sleepy or for being angry or whatever it is that we think we shouldn't be. Can we give ourselves the space of just sitting and being sleepy or being upset or being whatever is actually going on? Can we actually be willing to give ourselves the possibility of being the person who's on our cushion?

[08:22]

by being willing to give ourselves to ourselves, by being willing to forgive ourselves for being ourselves, by being willing to forgive ourselves for being human beings. Like all the other ancestors and Buddhas who have given us this practice, we develop this capacity to be more kind and gracious to others. to be more patient and tolerant with the people who give us a hard time. That's another kind of gift. So as we develop all the other kinds of bodhisattva practices, patience and skillful means and commitment and insight, these are all gifts. our practice opens and develops and we have a wider capacity, a wider possibility, more options for being able to give to others as well.

[09:42]

And our idea of what giving is can expand too. this gift of zazen, of just being able to sit, helps us to, first of all, just see our own anger and frustration, to see our own fear, to see our own greed or grasping, craving. the more we are willing to befriend ourselves, to be generous to ourselves, the more we're willing to be, the more we have the possibility of not being so impatient with others. And to be more patient with our own difficult body and mind. So when we're having difficulty with sitting posture, it's okay to sit in a chair. So if you want to get up and sit in a chair, please feel free. we are patient with our bodies too. So in the Fukan Zazenki, Dogen gives instructions for sitting in half lotus or full lotus, but we sit also in Burmese or in kneeling or people often are sitting here in chairs, so you're welcome to.

[11:01]

How do we find a wider capacity to enjoy this gift of being present. Being present is another kind of gift. So our presence is a gift. And when we receive a presence, How do we be present with that? How do we actually receive it? How do we appreciate it? How do we pass that along to others? So Dzogchen is a kind of practice of giving and receiving. And the ultimate meaning of Dzogchen in a way is just to give Buddha to ourself. and to give Buddha to others. So we sit, I talked yesterday about Dzogchen as a creative expression.

[12:08]

as a mode of creativity, as a form of creative expression in which we're actually creating Buddha with this body and mind. We're feeling how it feels when we sit upright in our presence and feel how we feel and sit upright but relaxed. We feel how it feels to be Buddha in this body and mind, with all of the difficulties that this body and mind presents us, gives to us. So generosity, there are many aspects of that. And we also appreciate the generosity of all the people who have supported this opportunity of this particular temple and meditation hall through their donations to allow us to be here and to appreciate this and to do this together as a community.

[13:16]

So there are many levels of generosity and giving, or dana is the Sanskrit word. All of them are ways in which we give Buddha, give awakening, give this possibility of calm, openness, insight, love, and caring, and kindness to ourselves, to each other, and each in our own way find ways to share that graciously in the world. So zazen is a form of generosity and a practice of generosity that we give to ourselves and each other. Sometimes it's challenging. So we give ourselves, so it's, Sometimes Zazen gives us practice opportunities or gives us challenges or our life of Zazen or what Zazen shows us about the challenges of our lives is a difficult gift.

[14:33]

How do we receive the gifts that Zazen offers us? But again, there's this generosity has this complex dynamic of that is this relationship between giver receiver and gift and we are we have we are all of those we are itself ourselves the gift that is being given to Buddha and from Buddha to each other to our lives we are also the ones who are giving that to each other and to ourselves, and we're also the ones receiving that. Maybe that's the hardest part. So I wanted to just share those reflections on zazen as a practice of generosity, and welcome your comments or reflections or questions about this.

[15:40]

Anyone, please feel free. Yes, Michael. It's getting more and more stressful.

[16:42]

Yeah. Thank you. I think that there's this deep relationship. Generosity is very much inter connected with gratitude. So I think of the American Buddhist holiday of Thanksgiving, that when we feel gratitude, there's this natural response of giving. So when we're thankful, we want to give this to someone else. So that's why we're here, because we're sharing this together, because we are, in some ways, grateful that we have this opportunity of human life and of a way of deepening that, of realizing that, of connecting to that. So yeah, I think that gratitude is an important part of generosity. It's not gratitude. I don't know if you can know if it's in the Abhidharma dharmas, but it's very much part of the practice of generosity, I think.

[18:32]

So thank you for highlighting that. Yes, Dave. So I guess I was thinking about that since you were talking about giving and being helpful. And I guess I'm wondering, sometimes it's hard to have, in an effort to try to be most effectively helpful, I don't want to say that I can change it myself, or at least that I can have an influence on or have an impact on how much of that is possible.

[20:12]

Does my question make sense? Yeah, I hear like two or maybe three huge questions there. So I'm going to take it from the last one back or try to. So yeah, is it possible to? be helpful. And what about when there's a difficult situation and someone seems to be acting or some system seems to be acting harmfully and it doesn't, it seems intractable. So that's, you know, sometimes it seems like that. yet we don't really know. Change does happen. And so part of giving is not knowing the result, not being able to control the result, not knowing the outcome of our positive

[21:29]

helpful activities. Sometimes we don't know what to do and maybe it's best not to try and fix things. You know, maybe it's best to just watch and be patient and wait for a time when we see something that we think might be helpful. So there's not, you know, skillful means is another practice that, you know, is kind of in the realm you're talking about. So there's not like some instruction manual that, you know, we can rely on. but our helpful intention and our best efforts and our attention to what's going on around us, we can try and be generous and be giving and act helpfully. And sometimes we don't know the outcome, and sometimes there's a positive result to our helpful actions that we never know, that happens far away or far, you know, in space or time from us. So that's one thing. We can't control that.

[22:32]

And still, our positive actions do have a result, do have an outcome. And sometimes we just should, maybe it's better not to try and manipulate things when we're not sure, but to just patiently watch for a time when we can, when we think we can be helpful. But I want to go back to the beginning of your question, or there was another question there, which is how to give effectively. So again, we don't know. We don't know the outcome, usually, of our giving. And for people with resources who are trying to make donations effectively, in the realm of fundraising that I know that you work in, for donors, what's the best, most effective way to give? That's a real consideration.

[23:34]

And one has to look at. make assessments and discernments and so forth, and that's reasonable. So yeah, how do we give effectively? That's something to really look at. How do we make our best judgment about what's skillful in terms of giving? There's another side to that, though, which is just that giving in and of itself is considered helpful. So with amongst the various bodhisattvas or awakening figures, there's some of them who carry a gift bestowing jewel and they just give whatever's asked for. So for example, in the case that's common in our culture today of homeless people who are panhandling or maybe they're not even, they're just sitting there and we know they're in need, we may feel like giving some money or whatever, maybe they're just gonna spend that on drug or alcohol.

[24:42]

drugs or alcohol. And so we don't want to give. But sometimes just giving or giving somebody, you know, somebody may ask for something that we know that we don't think that is going to be helpful to them. So take it out of that realm of the homeless person, somebody may ask you for, for something, a friend, and you think, oh, that's not going to, that's not going to be good for them. But sometimes just giving in and of itself, maybe may touch something in someone. So the idea of the wish-fulfilling jewel is that just to express generosity, just to demonstrate generosity, it doesn't have to be through a material gift either. So one of Dogen's writings about generosity talks about giving flowers on a distant mountain to Buddha, to someone, just to give an image or to give someone a smile.

[25:49]

to give something may be helpful, even if we don't, you know, it doesn't seem so. It's not so clear always what is the most effective gift. So this doesn't help with your question, but it's just to show that there's a complicated process involved in this. Other thoughts, comments, anyone? Yes, Bo? I just wanted to mention a resource. Do you know the book The Gift by Lewis Hyde? Oh, Lewis Hyde, yes, yes, yes, good. I don't know if other people have read that book, but it's kind of an exploration of gift giving in different cultures, but then also about art making as, I don't know, gift giving.

[26:52]

And I think that the quality of not knowing is so kind of essential to gift giving in some way, because if you know exactly what's coming back to you in giving something, then this is kind of transactional. But to give a gift in the spirit of really not knowing, That seems to be the true spirit of gift-giving, because you're just giving it as a pure expression of wanting to give some part of yourself or some part of your talent or skill to somebody else, and not knowing how that's going to come back to you or when it's going to come back to you, and not knowing what form it's coming back to you, maybe. And that's kind of how, at least according to Lewis Hyatt's book, certain cultures practice gift-giving as a kind of reciprocity that doesn't have clear lines necessarily.

[27:59]

So, yeah, that's a really cool book on exactly this topic. And yeah, there's the transactional thing. There are times when gifts are expected, like Christmas when you're supposed to give gifts. And there are places and times when you're supposed to check the monetary value of the gifts you receive and give back the same amount to someone else. In Japan, when I lived in Japan, there was this. They give gifts at New Year's, and the business people always are checking how much it's worth, and you have to make sure that you give back a gift of the same value. And it's not really a gift then, it's like a business transaction, right? So the spirit of a gift is when you don't expect anything back, you're just giving. So yeah, Lewis Hyde's book, The Gift, is quite good. And he goes into anthropology, he talks about these islands in the Pacific where there's, over a period of decades sometimes, there's some object or objects that are passed along around these islands and come back eventually to the first island.

[29:19]

But it's just, it's about the giving. Yeah, so this is a very complex practice, but the spirit of that in some ways has something to do with what we give ourselves when we allow ourselves to do this practice of sasana. Any other thoughts, reflections, questions, comments? Ben, do you know of any other anthropological cases of interesting gift-giving? are not about objects. Objects are a way to create social relations, or to fortify social relations among people.

[30:23]

And then different forms of reciprocity vary too, depending on how quickly a gift is expected back or not, and whether or not gifts are measured. Family groups, extended family groups where people just share in a general way, right? But they're expecting something back eventually, just not immediately. And what they're doing is that they're building social ties and alliations, right?

[31:26]

And then the form of generosity that we were, or reciprocity that we're more used to is balanced reciprocity, where you give something and you expect something back more or less equivalent value at a certain time. And then there's giving somebody something, and they give you some money for it, or a little bit of stuff. Well just to take what you're saying and think about it in terms of Sangha community. So Michael started off by talking about gratitude. So in terms of Zazen, if we're grateful for Zazen, there are various ways of expressing that by giving something back to, and it's not like you get, it's not like you're expecting to get something particular, but there are ways of helping out.

[32:33]

So Jerry was greeter and hit the hon, and Bo carried the incense. So there are various little things that people can do, not so little things. Dave prepared tea tonight. So there, So as an event, Sangha, it depends on giving without getting exactly a transaction back, but it's in appreciation. So that's interesting. It's a different, maybe a different model. But what everybody gets is Azen, whatever that is. So. attitude to sort of receive when I'm sitting in Zaza. And I think, thinking about it in a much more generalized term, so I sit Zaza and like a lot of people I see, you know, whatever, that's a resentment, it's an insecurity, it's the crazy story that I'm telling myself about what I'm going to do tomorrow and how it's never going to happen.

[33:50]

And I think I There's this, like, if I figure out how to really be detached, I'll get the payback. And if the pay is dead, it has to be like, okay, thanks, Dawson, for showing me this again. It's hard to do that, though. I just say, okay, thanks, this isn't really the gift that I wanted, but that's okay. Yeah, this is what you get. Okay, and so now what you get is the four bodhisattva vows.

[34:38]

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