Whole-Hearted Commitment for the New Year 

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huh

now we perform the ceremony of new year's greeting

and another
another little saying from priest came up in my mind
he had a dream
that
ah the duchess the garments summoned him to t
and she
had all kinds of questions for him
that she heard he wanted to be a
a writer
and she thought that he would be
the foremost writer
of his time
and then he said
that dream reminded me that i wanted to be a writer
when she also asked him what he wanted to write about and he said that dream reminded me that i wanted to be a writer and then i probably should start planning what i was gonna write
so
i hope you had a dream
that someone thought that you're gonna be a bodhisattva
and if you want to be a body sought from then you'd be good for you to have a plan
for how you want to be a bodhisattva
and priest didn't turn out to be the foremost read her of his time
the media to have a dream that a duchess encourages you
to remind you that the of what you wanna do
with this precious life
that you wish to devoted to art
to put aside
me either put aside everything for art
or make everything you do
make every act an act of art
make that plan
to make every work every call your work art work

welcome meg and elizabeth

so there i hope there's an art of reading
pris work of art
so
i vowed to are artfully
read
priests great work of art
this year and perhaps finish before i die

but that's not an ambition
ah because
i may never finish and i will be fine with me
but it is something i would like to try

i haven't yet read your writings
but i i i will do so
i might even read em out loud

huh
have already shared with many of you
my research on the word hope
i almost say i hope
if sometimes it does slip out
but then i usually take it back
i actually wish to give up hoping
because hope means to wish with expectation
i do not want to wish with expectation
i want to use all my expectation energy
to intensify the wish to just wish
did just wish that you are as happy or happier than i am
it
it's okay with me if you're happier and i want you can be at least as happy as i am
and i'm very happy
they're happy to be able to practice with you i'm very happy that you have the heart that you have
and i don't expect
that you'll have this heart tomorrow
but i want you to have a great heart tomorrow
and the next day but i don't expect it
and if you don't have a great heart tomorrow tomorrow i wish you have a great heart
because i don't expect you to have a great heart i will never stop wishing you to have a great heart
if i slip into expectation which i might do
my great wish for you is in danger of getting pooped out
but i don't slip into expectation of such kinds for very long before i
wake up
and go back to pure wishing
that's my wish for your great happiness for your supreme happiness
and as i mentioned this morning and mentioned several times in the mountains last year
true intimacy which is the work of the bodhisattva
involves alternating between supreme attunement
which sounds pretty good and is
and bewildering
a strange man

bewildering his dream it doesn't guarantee that you're doing the work of intimacy
but doing the work of intimacy guarantees bewildering strange
the people were most trying to be intimate with
we will sometimes feel
the wilderness a strange from
how is it that the person i most wanted to be intimate with i'm the least intimate with huts bewildering hundred i managed to make oldest effort to pick this person to be my teacher and i feel most like this is the worst person to be my teacher how could i do that it's amazing
but such things happen i mean such payments things are thought
but actually that kind of thinking
seems to be part of the great process
and someone told me of a shocking story a little while ago
suppose a the buddha was talking to a horse trainer
and he said to the horse trainers something like
when you say
how do you train horses and he said
the horses
today
i'm back
killed true that some horses some horses are like kind of hesitant the song so that i i i give them more i give them more attention encourage them some horses are too aggressive and i kind of like back away from them with draw attention
and then but if i get those training methods don't work i kill the horse and a buddha said this is a shocker i drink the rest what i do
and tortures and who you do
yeah i do
if i can't train people i killed him
i trained them by not i kill them by not training them
that's the worst thing is to not train
so it's great that you people want to train
because that's life but training is difficult that's like to
but training is the path a practicing together
and that is the past of eventual freedom and not training his endless suffering
so
let us walk the difficult path of training together in these amazing bodhisattva precepts
and thank you for the story of the horse trainer
any other things the he will bring up this afternoon
pardon

true intimacy involves alternating
between supreme attunement
and bewildering a strange man
and i think most people will understand that well intimacy involves supreme attunement
now just attunement but supreme a tournament
but it's may be surprising to hear that involves
not just estrangement but be will bewildering estrangement but i've actually when you're an intimate relationship it is bewildering to be a strange from somebody or intimate with
it's not bewildering to be estranged from strangers but someone that you've just made a great effort and successfully becomes creamy attuned to you wouldn't that be kind of surprised at than the next moment you are
a strange it's bewildering that you would be strange from such a person
but that's the person you most
would be sensitive to even a slight bit of estrangement
and that's normal
in the process and you don't stand when side of the other hopefully
your be bewildering a strange man leads you to tune
an attunement leads you to being vulnerable to losing your attunement and having a little bit of estrangement which is so bewildering when you just add supreme attunement before
soil makes perfect sense just don't get discouraged place but if you do
where here do a tune with you
discouraged ones
we welcome your discouragement
we welcome your enthusiasm we welcome you in all your forms
that's well

and some of you might be thinking i can hardly wait but you don't have to you can start now not the way
is that right now welcoming everybody
your life and a tuning with everybody
and
encouraging everybody
with you be willing to be you
and we all need you do this
i don't need and delfina to be patty and i don't need patty to be delfina
but i do need delfina to be delfina and patty to be party i need this and i say i'll like it
i'm devoted to you be you
and i'm not saying will dislike it

some time and go out
some people came to study with me and there were very good students
but it was very boring because they were faking it
then they stop taking it it became
who they really were
and it was not boring anymore
so i haven't been bored for quite awhile
people are not shaking it so much
trying to be excellent students that happened to not be themselves
ah
any other things you want me to repeat again and again
i don't mind
it's not because i i forgot
eventually that will be because of that
soft and you can remind me
that's why we need some young people
so
the remember what i said elizabeth because i'm gonna forget thirty seven

anything else today
yes i was curious why proust
well i don't know but dumb
i think it's because my wife has read it the whole thing in english and in french
and as you can imagine since she read the whole thing in english and french she must think it's pretty good
so i'm reading with her
she's reading the french and i'm reading the english
i love hot
hello know only one of us is speaking aloud
and that is froggy
i am i speaking out loud and she's watching the french and then she say what was that word
sometimes the french word though the translations of a different from where she thought it would be and she writes it in her book
and she's a
i don't rent the fringe in my book now
no
french
i've i painfully tell you is one of those languages which i don't think i'm going to learn in this lifetime
those wonderful french people made french too hard for me
i can read it a little bit but i can't speak it

but i can as i can say he got him

is goddamn in japan

me
a stand to a place where
the way
the
rose hi to say around the
is off slow
the down
the days or less
atlanta them
as well as unsurpassable
hi become