This morning we discussed the pivotal activity of all Buddhas, which can be described as Buddhas give teachings, people receive the teachings, and then bodhisattvas, the beings who receive the Buddhist teachings, get them back to the Buddha. by practicing the teachings. And then the Buddhas give the teachings again, and the beings receive them and practice them. And that's their way of giving back the gift. So the gift keeps turning like this. This is the pivotal activity of receiving the teachings and giving the teachings, receiving the Buddhist support and giving the Buddhist support. And so I hope that we, I pray that we can remember this offering, which is nonstop.

[01:21]

And we can train ourselves into realizing that this teaching is coming to us all the time. and receive it in each moment. Be receptive to it in each moment, which is similar to being awake in each moment. And then, in receiving it, let that be the practice of it. And let the practice of it then be transmitted to all beings and back to humans. And the teaching that the Buddhas are giving us has no fixed form. And the way we remember has no fixed form. And the way we receive has no fixed form.

[02:24]

Therefore, it can happen in every moment. But also, there's no fixed form to remind us. You know, people like to put reminders around their house. that they can see, oh, that's a form that reminds me. Which is fine. It does. Everything can. But it's good to learn that everything does, not just the things you think are reminding you. Learn to read everything as reminding you of what you want to do. Namely, you want to receive these teachings and pass them on. And there's no occasion that they're not being offered, and there's no occasion where you can't receive them, and no occasion where you can't practice them, and no occasion where you can't return the gift.

[03:30]

So we're training it, learning how to, what do you call it? Be able to receive that. So, as I also mentioned before, at the end of one of our songs, the translation which we chant is sometimes, if you can achieve continuity, this is called the host within the host, or the teacher within the teacher, or the reality within reality. But instead of saying, if you can achieve continuity, another way to say it is, if you're able to receive, So this reception or this inheritance, the inheritance often has to do with continuity. So you have one generation inheriting from a previous generation. So then that's a continuity. But it's actually also an inheritance.

[04:35]

So if we're able to inherit, then there will be continuity. Oh, a black cat cube to visit. We should know there's a black cat in the house And we should not let the black cat left the house. To verify that the cat doesn't get trapped in the house. And now the cat is going to his house. Cat wants to see what's going on here. So... Keep the inheritance, keep the succession going. And that is keeping, that's what the teaching, that's what the heart of the teaching is about, is to keep it going through your effort of inheriting it, inheriting it, inheriting it. Okay, Delfina, are you the one who wants to have a question and answer?

[05:53]

What was that? This is Camila. We can just have a question and answer now, okay? Yeah, yeah. Or Q&A? In the Buddha. So I have to come up with a question. This is the Buddha Hall. Oh, I know. I know. I was pointing to Buddha. Oh, you're pointing to the Buddha in the hall. Right. Well, tell the rest of the people. I was saying in City Center, the lecture every Saturday is 40 minutes. And so I want them to make it 30 minutes and then have 10 minutes of Q&A in the Buddha Hall. Because you like the Buddha Hall. And 30 minutes is when people start moving. I can hear it. You can hear it. And I think they would be more engaged. I do. I try. I try. Not always. So, well, so my, I don't, I didn't really have a question, but I'll make a comment. Comments are fine. So I felt like. Okay. I think you agree. Agree and disagree.

[06:55]

I felt like your earlier lecture was very intellectual and that was fine. It's not a criticism or judgment. And so I was trying to feel the emotional response of feeling this being completely me and not me. What's that feel like on a nonverbal level? What does being completely you feel like? Yes. When I'm doing what you were saying, which is very difficult to do. It doesn't... It feels like what you're feeling. That's what it feels like. But completely. So it's like maybe you sometimes can feel like you're not completely present. Can you ever feel like that? Quite often. Yes. So like you might have pain and not be completely present with it.

[07:56]

That's something you might feel like I wasn't Or somebody might be talking to you and you might feel like, I'm not completely here. I'm a little bit like wondering why this person's going to go, stop talking. Right. That happens. Yeah. So I'm not really here for this person who's talking more than I want to be here for. So what if when that's happening and I'm aware of it, I say, I'm going to stay here even though I don't want to. Is that being me or is it... That might be who you are, is that I'm going to stay here, but I don't want to. Right. So the Camille of the moment is a Camille who wishes to stay, even though she doesn't want to. Yeah, and so I think I'm not necessarily going to get any merit out of this. It's just this practice you're talking about, that there's some mysterious... You might get some merit, and then you'll have to deal with that, too. Merit in heaven? No. What kind of merit?

[09:00]

The merit could come to you in a heavenly experience. But the main point of merit is to free us from dwelling in heaven or earth or any place else. The merit of this practice is to liberate all beings, including beings who are in heaven, But there is merit in being present. And there is merit, as I'm saying. And there is merit in being present with a sense that you're not present. Like, I wasn't really present in that moment. I was a little bit shrinking back from that meeting. or a little bit wondering when it was going to be over, I wasn't completely here. But now that I'm saying that I wasn't completely here, I feel like I'm actually saying that more wholeheartedly than the way I was a moment ago.

[10:10]

I feel I'm approaching being completely here. I want to be completely here. And then here is any kind of here, whatever the here is. When I'm depressed, I want to be here. Okay, then I'm doing it. That's what I do. Well, great. But I probably do things, and then I don't remember doing them, so... I wasn't there, but later on I realized, ooh, I put that thing there and I don't remember doing it. Yeah. So... Yeah, so when we put things up... Do I get demerits? Do you what? Get demerits for... Do you get demerits for... For not being present and not being aware that I'm not present?

[11:11]

Demerits... Well, if you're not present... And... and you become aware of it, when you're not present, it does have the consequence, often, of promoting not being present. So that's a kind of unfortunate consequence of being unwilling to be here, is that it seems to promote more unwillingness to be here, which is a kind of unfortunate consequence. But if I notice that I'm not willing to be here, now I'm here. Yeah, I really wanted to leave earlier. And I didn't. And it changed, it switched. I was really glad I was here. But I remember the feeling of, oh, I want to leave. I want to go outside and play. And then I just kept staring at the wall and the tree out that window.

[12:19]

And I felt... What I'm trying to say is I felt in my body that feeling that we're trying to put words to. So that's what I like, that I could feel it. I don't know what it is, I don't know how to describe it, but maybe you're describing it for me. It felt like a reward that I couldn't foresee. and would not have stayed. Even if I could foresee it, I wouldn't have stayed. I just stayed because I committed to this thing. You have that idea that you stayed because you committed. Right. And the commitment may be part of the reason you stayed, but there's other reasons you stayed, too, besides the commitment. For example, the house did not burn down. That also wasn't the reason you stayed. There's many reasons why we...

[13:21]

are what we are. And we have stories about how we got to be who we are. And those stories are going to keep happening, but those stories do not reach the reality of who and what we are and how we are. But part of how we are is that we're storytellers about how we are. We're storytellers about other people. And that's another story. That's going to keep going on. Bye. That was a CNA.

[14:29]

Yes? Wouldn't it be nice if, and what would happen if every time you started to say that story, you just let it go? Every time you started to tell stories about yourself? You just did. Hmm? You just did. Well, actually, every time you tell a story... That's another story. So every time you tell a story, then every time you tell a story, you say, I'm not going to tell a story, then that would be a frequently occurring story if you did it every time a story came. You could also say, I am telling a story every time you tell a story. And you may be aware that's another story. And then you might also tell a story called, when I tell stories, I want to tell them wholeheartedly.

[15:32]

When I tell a story, I want to tell that story as completely as possible. I want that storytelling to be completely that storytelling. And again, the principle is, the more a story becomes that story, the more it becomes not that story. So rather than trying to stop that story, which tends to go with dwelling in the story, I want to let that story be more and more that story in order to realize that that story is becoming not that story. Then without tampering with the story at all, you don't tamper with it at all. You really let it be. more and more completely let it be, then you more and more let it become not itself. And that's where liberation is realized.

[16:36]

So you don't try to change it and just say, it's here, okay, I'm going with it. If you want liberation, you don't try to change your stories, you try to be generous towards your stories, careful of your stories, patient with your stories, calm with your stories, And let them be... The more they become themselves, the more they become not themselves. And that process is the pivot where beings are liberated from dwelling in their stories. If we tell the story half-heartedly, or try to change the story, hoping that that will bring us liberation, or even not liberation, but just, I'm going to change the story to a better story. And then... If I can do that, then I'm going to change that story to a better story. This is the normal process of bondage for living beings, is they're trying to control their stories or manipulate their stories in order to have happier stories.

[17:41]

And if they're successful in having happy stories, they probably will become, again, more addicted to continuing to manipulate stories. If they're unsuccessful, but actually, you know, unsuccessful in arriving at peace and freedom with their stories, by manipulating, they might say, maybe the manipulation isn't working. Maybe they should switch from manipulation to generosity towards the stories, which I would say, yeah, that's the path to freedom from dwelling in the stories. Without changing the story at all, we can become free of it. But it's not changing at all when you're right there with it and not changing at all.

[18:46]

Which implies the same, not changing your identity at all, not changing yourself at all, not changing anything at all, and yet working to let the thing be really... more and more skillfully letting it be. That's an effort which includes all kinds of dimensions of compassion. And again, when we finally let the thing be completely itself, then it is completely not itself. And that's when the wisdom comes. Yes? Well, now I'm wondering... When I'm in what I think is the presence of strong emotion or strong story, and I'm present with it, I'm thinking that it's drowning out the other things that are in that wall at the same time. The story is drowning out things, did you say? Either the story or the strong emotion, I don't see the other things that are in that same wall.

[19:49]

Well, in a way that even weak emotions is like that. That in weak emotion? That weak emotion is kind of drowning out all the not weak emotion, which is the whole universe, besides the weak emotion. Does it drown it out? In a way, it does. What you're seeing is how everything makes this weak emotion or how everything makes this strong emotion. That's what you're seeing. But you're looking at what's made rather than what makes it, and you can't see what makes it. And you never will. And matter of fact, yeah, I'll stop there. But if you let the weak emotion, which is actually overwhelming everything that's supporting it, or the strong emotion, which is overwhelming, then you'll realize it.

[20:52]

freedom from this weak or strong emotion. And that we, you will. That practice will. The more you're open to the weak emotion, the more you realize it's non-dwelling base. And the same for strong emotions. And it seems like both are challenging to wholeheartedly let them be. But there's a proposal that it's possible to learn this. And the path of learning it will usually involve many cases of where you kind of feel like you didn't really let it be, whatever it was. And where you feel somewhat stuck in it, or vice versa, you feel somewhat stuck in it, and then you notice, well, actually, I'm not completely letting it be.

[21:58]

And I'm also not really letting things stuck be. So that would make sense that I'm feeling stuck, since I'm not really allowing myself to be stuck. And then there's like, I think there was a total allowing of being stuck, and I feel like that there was not being stuck right at the same time. But I can't see not being stuck. And I can see being stuck. Yes? I'm wondering if you would say that effort pivots with effortlessness or perseverance with aimlessness or that the effort is towards effortlessness armed with Or neither. Is the effort towards effortlessness? What you're calling letting go, right?

[23:02]

Or letting it be, right? But you, two minutes ago, you said it takes a lot of effort. So that's the pivot. So if there's not effort, then you'd have to make an effort to let not effort be. Like if you were lazy, if you made a lot of effort with being lazy, then lazy would just be lazy. To realize lazy is just lazy takes a lot of kindness. And not just by me, but everybody's got to help me be kind to my laziness. And everybody, when I'm lazy, everybody is helping me be kind to my laziness. And I have to learn to appreciate that and let my laziness be laziness. Then I realize not laziness. So you have to have effort to realize that effort is not effort, or you have to be effortful to realize that being lazy is being not lazy.

[24:07]

And, seems like good news to me, we are effortful. So it's not like you have to do something that you're not already doing, you just have to wake up. that you are an effortful creature. We are effortful creatures. We're like cooking all day long. We are like alive. We are effortful. When it's cold outside, we're warm. When it's warm outside, we're cooler than me. We have a cooling system to keep us from getting too hot. We have a warming system to keep us from getting too cold. We are, like, effortful. It's kind of like joining what we are. And everything that we are is made by everything that we're not. So our effort and our not-effort are made by including and being pervaded by everything.

[25:20]

We are non-stop, effortful beings. And right now, you look like you're effortful beings. You don't look lazy. But you could look lazy, and that would be another kind of effort you'd be making. Which I'd say, wow, everybody is... That brings a lot of energy into looking lazy. Right now you're not doing that. Maybe later you'll show me. You'll make an effort and show me laziness. And then I get to let you be lazy. And if I can let you be lazy, then we'll be liberated from being lazy. And also liberated from being effortful. Because we're already effortful, but we're not liberated unless we appreciate it. And appreciating it means let it be.

[26:24]

Don't try to turn down the effort or turn up the effort. Try to let the effort be more complete. Peter? Are you saying that... that you take all judgment out of experience? No, I'm not taking... Because I would say, let judgment be completely judgment. That's what I would say. Don't be driven by the judgment. I'm not talking about being driven by judgment. If you're being driven by judgment, okay, then I would say, let being driven by judgment... become more and more driven by judgment, and there will be a realization of not driven by judgment.

[27:29]

Usually, when we're involved in judgment, we do it half-heartedly so that it pushes us around. We dwell in it. If I have a judgment of you or somebody else or myself, and I completely let it be, I won't dwell in it. And that not dwelling is... what liberates us from judgment, without tampering the judgment. Judgment is still sitting there, nice and bright. The judgment is there. This is good. This is not good. There's the judgment. I don't mess with it. I use it as an opportunity to have liberation. Now we have liberation together with the judgment. We can use it or not. We can say, I don't need that judgment anymore. I have something else to offer. Or we can say, I have a judgment to offer. Here's the judgment. But it's just a gift coming from this liberation. It's not like I'm hooked on it. And yet, there it is. How you doing, Rep? I got a judgment. Want to hear about it?

[28:33]

No, thank you. Okay. But I'm not suffering from the judgment anymore because I let it be completely. But if I don't let my judgment be free, I will be enslaved by them. So, even, you know, a sweet judgment is like... Darling, adorable, whatever, you know. Sound very nice, but if I don't let that darling, adorable be wholehearted, then I'm going to dwell in it. And I won't realize the not darling. So we're not trying to get rid of judgments. It's just when they come, we're talking about relating to them in such a way as to realize liberation with them or by them. Are you saying that everything that arises has a good intention? I would say that everything that arises is an opportunity for liberation.

[29:46]

And its nature is that it is pervaded by everything and pervaded by pervading everything. And that nature that it has is sitting there ready to be realized. So everything's offering a realizing nature, a liberating nature. It's also for aggression, perpetration. Do you say aggression? Aggression, perpetration... Whatever it is, if it's dealt with and responded to with compassion, it will lead to an opportunity of liberation from that liberation from aggression, which a lot of people feel like liberation from aggression sounds like a really good thing. And I agree. And liberation from aggression then offers the opportunity for some other kind of offering.

[30:50]

without tampering with the aggression at all. But the aggression may need some... some... compassionate lessons. Even though the person responded to it with compassion, the aggression may not have listened to the compassion. But the aggression actually got liberated from... the wisdom about the nature of aggression. And then it may offer itself again for another installment of liberation. Until you may say, well, oh, it's not, it's actually, most of what's going on now is not liberation. And not liberation is now, what do you call it, in the light. But we didn't change the liberation, Did I say non-liberation? No. The non-aggression is now in the light and the aggression is now in the dark.

[31:54]

But we didn't make the aggression go away because not-aggression, if you let that be, it will become aggression. And we say, well, that doesn't sound good. But it's not good or bad. It's the process of liberation. It makes peace with the aggression. It's not like eliminating it. It's always there. With non-aggression, aggression is always there. In the background. There's no aggression without non-aggression and vice versa. There are ones in the foreground, ones in the background. Appreciating that is the process of liberating people from aggression and non-aggression. Or non-aggression. It's the process of liberation that we're trying to develop here. Because that's where the peace comes. And that's where the freedom to have compassionate responses to everything. Is that where peace comes or pivot?

[32:56]

Louder, please. Is that where peace comes or pivot comes? The pivot is where the peace is. Buddhas are at peace and they live in the pivot. They live in the pivot between aggression and non-aggression. Of course, they're not aggressive, but they don't abide in non-aggression either. They teach non-aggression. They say, you know, do not hate, do not be aggressive. They teach that. But they teach that as a way to let aggression be aggression and realize non-aggression. So you do what you think is non-aggression in order to let aggression be aggression. And also to let non-aggression be non-aggression. What we... off of me, but it's the pivot that's liberating, and that's where the peace is living. Yes? My mom used to have this needlepoint hanging on the wall that said, the home is where the heart is, and when you said the pivot is where the peace is, I just pictured it in needlepoint, a little heart around it, you know.

[34:02]

I can't explain that. The pivot is where the peace is. The peace is where the pivot is. If we don't pivot, we disturb the peace. If you resist the pivot, it creates some disturbance, some dis-ease. Yes? Could you say that's what transformed samsara to nirvana? As samsara and nirvana are another pivot. which the Buddhists are living in the pivot of samsara and nirvana. Buddhists are living in nirvana and living in samsara. Buddhists are in samsara. And they are pivoting there to show people in samsara how to pivot with samsara. Not to run away from it, not to sink into it, but be with it in such a way that you realize that when samsara is in the foreground, nirvana is in the background.

[35:12]

But you know samsara explicitly and you know nirvana implicitly. If you are totally let samsara be samsara, you will know nirvana explicitly and samsara implicitly. But you don't want to go all the way over to nirvana and forget about samsara. In bodhisattva, we do not want to... abandon samsara and just go over to nirvana. But we don't, because the teaching says if you've got nirvana, samsara is right there. It's not the least bit different. But one can be in the foreground while the other is in the background. You can't abide in either, but we have to practice to realize that we can't abide in either. So, again, if you feel like you're abiding in samsara, then let that be, let that feeling be completely, and you'll find that you're not abiding in samsara.

[36:29]

Would crying be disrupting the pivot? Nothing disrupts the pivot. Nothing disrupts the activity of buddhists. But... If you're crying wholeheartedly, you'll realize that nothing's disturbing the pivot. If you cry half-heartedly, you may feel like the pivot's being disturbed. And when we act half-heartedly, we're turning away from our wholeheartedness. We are wholehearted beings. We don't have to become wholehearted beings. We have to realize our wholeheartedness. So we practice being wholehearted to realize that we're wholehearted. And if And when we cry, it would be good to cry wholeheartedly. In other words, the more crying is itself, the more it realizes not crying. And again, not crying isn't better than crying. The same would be. If anybody here isn't crying, okay, that's fine.

[37:32]

If you would become completely not crying, you'll realize not not crying, which is also sometimes called crying. But you might not start crying, you just realize it. You realize what? The kidney. So, those of us who are crying in this way will become free of crying, and those who are not crying will not be stuck in not crying. So you don't have to, like, when you're not crying, you don't have to go over and start crying in order to be human. Humans sometimes don't cry and they're really alive. Humans do cry sometimes and they're really alive. Talking about being really alive. And somehow, humans have to make an effort to be alive because they're effortful. It's not like something in addition to the way we are. We are, like, effortful.

[38:39]

Even when we're asleep. Even when we're lazy. Like, lazy teenagers are very effortful. Got a lot of juice flowing through those lazy bodies. And you touch them and you'll find out. Mess with, you know, you mess with their laziness and you find out a lot of energy there. Part of me wants to talk over time today since I was away, but the other part of me doesn't want to keep you too long. But just know that I'm happy to keep talking for quite a bit longer. And also I'm willing to let you go because we promised you could go.

[39:32]

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