Praise the truth of the Tathāngata's words. Good morning everyone. So I wanted to welcome particularly all of the younger people who are here and thank you for bringing your parents. I was thinking about all of you and remembering being you, being a child, and I thought about a lot of the times when I went with my parents to a very quiet place called church, kind of like this, and there was a big person talking, and I remember being very restless. But there were a couple of other things I remember about that time, two in particular

[01:03]

that I wanted to share with you, and one of them was that I made a puppet when I was in church, of a Roman soldier. And this puppet was for an Easter play that we were doing, and I made my puppet, his helmet and his armor was aluminum foil, and then he had a kind of velvet robe, which was the way people dressed in those days, they wore robes, kids wore robes too. So, I think my puppet also had a spear that was very sharp. And in the play we were doing, my puppet was the bad guy. This was a story about somebody named Jesus. Do you all know who Jesus is, somebody? You know, Christmas, yeah. That's interesting, huh?

[02:05]

Well, Jesus' last name was Christ, and Christmas is his birthday. So the other holiday that's a big one is Easter, the chocolate eggs in that time, and Easter is the time that people remember that Jesus died, and actually he was killed. And my puppet was the puppet of a soldier who had helped in the killing of this man, Jesus. So the other part of the story is that my puppet received the robe that Jesus was wearing when he died, and as a result of getting this robe, he changed from being kind of confused and angry to being kind and gentle, just like Jesus.

[03:11]

It's an amazing thing. That was the point of this story, it was about the robe and how a robe can change your life. So the other thing I remember from church is that around the same time of year, we would sit in church late at night, and the idea was that we were watching with Jesus, who was having a hard time. So the few days before Easter are called Good Friday, and the night before Good Friday, we sat in church late at night, and it was very dark, just a candle on the altar, and the idea was that we were going to stay awake while our friend was having trouble. And what I remember about that night was that I really believed it, I really believed with

[04:13]

all my heart that my good friend was having trouble, and the best thing for me to do was to sit and wait quietly with him. So I found a story about a little girl who also discovered the joy of sitting quietly, and I want to read it to you. It's called, Play With Me. Do you know this? Somebody? Anybody? You do? The sun was up and there was dew on the grass, and I went to the meadow to play. A grasshopper sat on the leaf of a weed. He was eating it up for his breakfast. Grasshopper, I said, will you play with me? And I tried to catch him, but he leapt away. A frog stopped jumping and sat down by the pond.

[05:20]

I think he was waiting to catch a mosquito. Frog, I said, will you play with me? And I tried to catch him, but he leapt away, too. There goes the frog, right off the page. A turtle was sitting on the end of a log. He was just sitting still, getting warm in the sun. Turtle, I said, will you play with me? But before I could catch him, he plunged into the water. A chipmunk was sitting beneath the oak tree, shelling an acorn with his sharp little teeth. Chipmunk, I said, will you play with me? But when I ran near him, he ran up a tree. A blue jay came and sat down on a bough, and I jabbered and scolded the way blue jays do. Blue jay, I said, will you play with me? But when I held out my hand, he flew away. A rabbit was sitting behind the oak tree, and he was wiggling his nose and nibbling a flower.

[06:29]

Rabbit, I said, will you play with me? And I tried to catch him, but he ran into the woods. A snake came sneaking along through the grass, zigzagging and sliding the way snakes do. Snake, I said, will you play with me? But even the snake ran away down a hole. None of them, none of them would play with me, so I picked a milkweed and I blew off its seeds. And then I went to the pond and I sat down on a rock, and I watched a bug making trails on the water. I think these are kind of hard to see. She's sitting on a rock. And as I sat there without making a sound, grasshopper came back and sat down beside me. And then frog came back and sat down in the grass, and slowpoke turtle crawled back to his log.

[07:35]

And chipmunk came and watched me and chattered, and blue jay came back to his bough overhead. And rabbit came back and hopped around me, and snake came out of his hole. And as I still sat there still without making a sound so they wouldn't get scared and run away, out from the bushes where he'd been hiding came a baby fawn and looked at me. I held my breath, and he came nearer, he came so near I could have touched him. But I didn't move, and I didn't speak, and fawn came up and licked my cheek. Oh, now I was happy, as happy could be, for all of them, all of them were playing with me. So thank you for coming and playing with me, and we'll see you later, okay?

[08:39]

Bye. Bye. Bye. Hey. Mommy. Hi, Greg. Bye. Well, I didn't really think that story was for kids.

[09:54]

It's just that's sort of where we all got our beginnings, you know? The restlessness and all the longing, and all the strategies for getting what we want, when we want. Thanks. So it seems that that's just kind of built into the organism that we are. That's how we're born, and in Buddhism this is called beginningless greed, hate, and delusion. You know, it's not a fault, there's no blame or judgment, it's just very painful. So I was thinking that, you know, for thousands and thousands of years it's been this way, and yet still no one has come up with a plan or a set of directions for how we're all supposed to live together on this earth. And it kind of looks like we just keep improvising.

[11:04]

You know, like this election? You know, we just kind of make things up as we go along, whether it's moral systems or politics or science. There just seems to be more and more, and whatever there is, you know, is soon replaced by something new, or at least there's a good argument against it. And then somewhere in this great mountain range of data and possibilities, the children are expected to go out and find a job, and maybe start a family of their own. So this pattern within our human life, if untreated, meaning basically lacking consciousness, or any intention beyond caring for itself, is what the Buddha called samsara,

[12:10]

or the endless wandering, endless circling. And these, in fact, are the first and second of the Noble Truths. The first is that there is suffering. This is painful. And the second, that it is caused by our endless longing and desire. So I was thinking about this situation, meaning my life, and I think about it a lot. And I was thinking that I wish I had received, when I was around seven years old, a piece of parchment, calligraphed with a simple life plan. Maybe wrapped in a silvery ribbon, like Harry Potter got his invitation to Hogwarts, you know. And I thought that it would be just like this. So I wrote it down for you.

[13:17]

Something like this. So step one, successfully work out all your family relations before leaving home. Check that one off. Step two, after leaving home, follow your bliss. Step three, this one's optional, marry for love. Step four, philanthropic endeavors. Step five, die deeply fulfilled. And step six, failing any of the above, start again without judgment. That's step one. So I didn't get this set of instructions when I was a kid. And as a result, I spent all of my youth and most of my middle years trying to get some good advice.

[14:23]

On how to move through the uncharted waters of this human life. And I've talked to just about everyone. Therapists, teachers, Zen masters, children, peers, movie stars. And where my research brought me was basically to recommend to you the teachings of the Buddha. Which, when they arrived in my life, came kind of like the bridal bouquet at my best friend's wedding. You know, as though the Buddha himself, to herself, had just gotten married. And catching this bouquet of the Buddha's teachings is a good prediction of things to come. You don't know who it's going to be, where it's going to be, or what it's going to be.

[15:30]

But you have been promised by the universe through these teachings of wisdom and compassion that all of your unrequited love is going to be satisfied. And the only thing that you need to do in return is to have the smallest amount of faith that these buds are really for you. You know, I think it's hard to do, like, did I really walk through the right door this morning? You know, is this the right place? Are these the right people? Is this the right life? Whatever it is. We're always wondering. But I think that actually you do belong here, and you do belong everywhere.

[16:38]

And that this extraordinary gift of life is not a mistake or a bad joke. It actually is coming to you continuously from all directions. And that each and every moment, still using the metaphor of the catching the bouquet, okay, each and every moment of this catch, and then when I thought of that this morning, I was thinking, I remembered seeing Willie Mays in the outfield halfway up the wall. Remember that picture? Oh, Willie Mays. Oh, some of you are too young. Anyway, with his glove up in the air, you know. It's like that. It's just like that. Instant replay, over and over again. And this catch puts you right into the center of this wonderful, amazing, ongoing process of creation.

[17:42]

Like the little girl surrounded by her animal playmates. And the only thing that you have to do is not to move. And what that means is not to move from this connection, which is always there, between the glove and the ball. This way of talking and this way of thinking and of being is called affirmation or confirmation. And it involves both giving and receiving consent, approval, agreement. Yes, yes, yes. Which, of course, includes no, no, no. Affirmation isn't disturbed by how we think or what we say.

[18:47]

It doesn't block this fresh arrival of the present moment of our experience. So as long as we're able to stay with, this is happening, this is happening, this is happening, this is happening. It's just like the gentle beating of the human heart. That's the metronome of reality. So my daughter goes to school in Mill Valley, and recently the students in the upper school were given an assignment to build some Rube Goldberg contraptions in teams of four. I think that was the biggest challenge for them, actually, from what I hear.

[19:53]

So on all curriculum night, we went to see what the teachers and students were up to, and they had a couple of these gadgets up and running. And the first one I saw was being demonstrated by our very own Elisa Rudnick, who's the daughter of Peter Rudnick and Wendy Johnson, who lived here for many, many years. And this gadget was called a Burger Maker 2000. And with a little pull of a string, the burger on a bun went sliding down a chute, thereby squirting ketchup on it. And then at the bottom, it flipped over onto the other half of the bun. And there was a lot more ketchup around the burger than there was on it, but we could all feel the potential of this household appliance. So the other one that was demonstrated was called the Stuart Smalley Stress Reducer.

[21:02]

And this one was done by a team of boys, and it consisted of an elaborate sequence of levers and pulleys that were all set in motion by what I later was to learn is called a stomp rocket. Any of you parents know what stomp rockets are? You stomp on it, and it's full of air, and it shoots a rocket out. So they stomped on the rocket, and then the rocket—this is a description of this gadget from the boys. I happened to meet one of them in person. His name is Dylan. The rocket cuts through a string, thereby dropping a weight into a basket, which lifts a block of wood that tips over, hitting a lever, which is cocked with a ball, that rolls down, striking the bumper of a weighted car, sending the car rolling down an inclined plane, and flipping it over, thereby popping a film canister filled with birdshot into a tube that lands on the start button of a tape recorder, which plays the following message.

[22:05]

You are good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like you. The sequence? Or the affirmation? You are good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like you. Well, that's how I felt. My little heart just kind of popped open, you know, looking at these gorgeous boys with their clever machine that had no other purpose than this compassionate message. May it always be so. So acts of confirmation toward each other and toward ourselves are extolled by all the Buddhas and ancestors as the essence of the teaching. Doesn't that make sense? And I would like to share with you a portion of a very remarkable lecture by Dogen Zenji on this subject of affirmation.

[23:20]

This is from the Shobo Genzo, or Treasury of the True Dharma, which is his great masterwork. And this fascicle is called precisely this, Juki, which means confirmation. This is one of the longer fascicles. I'm not going to read a lot of it to you, but some, so you can get a flavor. And I really, after reading this over many times, I really envied the students who got to sit there and listen to this great master speaking to them in this way. Just about every sentence of this lecture contains the word confirmation, affirmation. The great way uniquely transmitted by Buddhas and ancestors is confirmation. At the time of confirmation, even those who have not aroused the thought of enlightenment are confirmed. No Buddha nature is confirmed. Buddha nature is confirmed.

[24:24]

Body is confirmed. No body is confirmed. All Buddhas are confirmed. All Buddhas keep the confirmation of all Buddhas. Buddha said there are many kinds of confirmation. Briefly speaking, there are eight. Number one, confirmation known to oneself, but not to others. Two, confirmation known to everyone, but not to oneself. Three, confirmation known to oneself and everyone. Four, confirmation not known to oneself or to anyone else. Five, confirmation recognized by those who are near, but not by those who are distant. Confirmation recognized by those who are distant, but not by those who are near. Seven, confirmation recognized both by those who are near and those who are distant. Eight, confirmation recognized neither by those who are near nor those who are distant.

[25:27]

These are the kinds of confirmation. Therefore, do not think that confirmation is only known to the mind of this present skin-bag body. Do not say that a person who is not enlightened should not easily be confirmed. It is usually thought in this world that a person is confirmed when the merit of his or her practice is complete and becoming a Buddha is determined, but it is not so in the Buddha way. Following a teacher and hearing one phrase or following a sutra and learning one phrase is itself attaining confirmation because it is the original practice of all Buddhas and because it is a great root of a hundred grasses. When confirmation is expressed, those who attain confirmation are all people in the ultimate realm. You should know that even one particle of dust is unsurpassable. Even one particle of dust is going beyond itself.

[26:33]

How could confirmation not be one particle of dust? How could confirmation not be one thing? How could confirmation not be myriad things? How could confirmation not be practice and enlightenment? How could confirmation not be Buddhas and ancestors? How could confirmation not be pursuit and endeavor of the way? How could confirmation not be great enlightenment and great delusion? Confirmation is my essence has come to you. Vigorously raise it up in the world. Confirmation is you are like this, I am like this. Confirmation is a guidepost. Confirmation is beyond your knowledge. Confirmation is the face breaking into a smile. Confirmation is coming and going of birth and death. Confirmation is the entire world of the ten directions. Confirmation is the whole world is not hidden.

[27:36]

You get it? Whether you do or not, that's confirmation. So my experience of this fascicle is kind of like a drumming or beating on that barricade between what I imagine is my inner self and this longing for union with the other or what Rumi calls the beloved. And the Buddha in a likewise repetitive fashion beat on us with this reminder over and over again over hundreds and hundreds and thousands of years. He said, the problem you are having is a misperception of yourself as separate from all that surrounds you moment after moment.

[28:40]

The problem you are having is a misperception of yourself as separate from all that surrounds you moment after moment. And like the little girl in the story, due to this misperception, we are constantly chasing after things, trying to get them. Objects, people, ideas, those long planned for vacations, both mental and physical. And again and again, you may have noticed that those things slip just out of reach of your grasp. But that's one idea. The other idea is that actually you think you're successful at getting all those things. You've collected the photo albums and the sports equipment and all of it is nicely tucked away in your great sack of collectibles.

[29:45]

I'm a little bit more like this. It's my style. But what I've begun to notice is there's a big hole in the bottom of my sack. And everything that I stuff in there, you know, seems to be falling out. The other end, whether it's mildew or aging or plunging stock markets, dents. So as I'm busily seeking out new things, the ones I've collected are slowly rotting in my bag. When Shakyamuni Buddha was awakened on the morning of the eighth day of his meditation retreat, he proclaimed, I and all beings together attain enlightenment at the same time.

[30:47]

I and all beings together attain enlightenment at the same time. That's what he said. That was his insight. Confirmation. So the important word here is together. To gather. To gather together. And this practice of confirmation is always done in company. In good company. And that's what is meant in Buddhism by the word sangha. Together. To gather together. So the last two and a half days, I've been attending a performance of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland at the Little Theater at Mill Valley. Little Studio Theater. And my daughter, Sabrina, is the tiger lily. And I must admit that I sit there breathless as she goes masterfully through her four lines.

[31:57]

So after last night's performance, I was backstage with the other parents. We were all kind of pitifully holding out our bouquets of flowers as the kids were running by us, you know. And I was listening to the children talking to one another, the children from the play. And by name, they were calling out to each other, Good job, Savannah. Good job, Sabrina. You too. Good job. Good job, Michael. You know, good job, Dylan. It was really amazing. I kept listening. And then later on, when I got home, I was laying in bed and I realized they hadn't seen each other perform. Only those of us in the audience had privileged seeing these beautiful children doing their thing, you know. And I began to understand that this good job was about their belonging to one another. That they were a team. They had done this good work together.

[33:06]

And they knew that. This was confirmation of their union. And as a result, what was really true was that there were no stars in this play. There were only stars in this play. Everyone was a star in this play. Sabrina even asked me, she said, Mom, how did you like the curtain call? I said, yeah, that was the best part. Everybody out there, all clapping. Beautiful thing. Everyone in Wonderland is mad. One of the lines. So many of the people in this room right now are going to be sitting for seven days here in this room. Sesshin, which means literally to gather together, to gather your heart-mind into one place where you are.

[34:11]

And this kind of gathering, like the children who are playing, is the opposite of trying to get something. And it's also the opposite of trying to get nothing. Trying to get nothing is just another strategy that the miserly settle on when they realize they can't have everything they want. Well, then I'll have none. That doesn't work. So when Shakyamuni Buddha tried that strategy of emptying his mind of all thoughts, he reported that it gave him a terrible headache. And he said, along with many of the other experiments that he'd done in his first years of home-leaving, this is not the way. The way that the Buddha taught is called the middle way, between the extremes. Not getting caught either in pursuing or running away. Recently, Steve Weintraub, who is one of our residents and is also a very well-trained psychologist and a Buddhist teacher,

[35:25]

said to me while I was having some difficulty with the situation here, you have to learn how to maintain the strain. Maintain the strain. The tension. So this is this inborn tension of our human life that pulls at us to pick a side. One side or the other. We've all been going through this for a while now. Is it Gore or Bush? Maintain the strain. Poverty or wealth. Good or evil. Right or wrong. Me or you. And the Buddha taught that this process of choosing one side over the other is exactly the source of our suffering. By holding views or fostering opinions, by arguing, fighting, killing, we bring great suffering into this world.

[36:33]

And all of it comes from shutting off half of what's possible in any given moment. Including the possibility that we ourselves might be terribly, terribly wrong. So this line that runs down the middle of things, creating the world of opposites, is called in Buddhism the big delusion. The big delusion, like the big kahuna. It's the imaginary line that splits the world into two things. Suzuki Roshi said that when we find the joy of our life in our composure, when we don't know what it is, when we don't understand anything, then our mind is said to be very great and very wide.

[37:37]

Our mind is open to everything. Big enough to know before we know something. We are grateful even before we have something. Without anything, we are very happy. Even before we attain enlightenment, we are happy just to practice our way. Otherwise, we cannot attain anything in its true sense. So, learning to sit quietly and to maintain the strain, and to not know anything, are the ingredients to affirmation. That's what I have to say. And if you have another idea, please add that in too. So, I'd like to finish with a poem in honor of Seshin called Zazen.

[38:39]

It was written by a woman named Virginia Hamilton Adair. When I first floundered in, no one knew me, not even myself, staggering under a Saratoga trunk, crammed with humiliation, bottle-like urine samples, nail kegs of anger, carbons of abusive letters, chemistry quizzes with Fs, even the horse I never had, and the two casseroles left over from a dime-a-dip supper. No one remarked that I had brought too much. I was wearing three fur hats donated by opulent cousins, my feet encased in cement ever since the failure of the patio project, and my mouth full of barbs as an old trout. No one praised my appearance.

[39:40]

The trunk fell off my back, disgorging its unusual contents at my stone feet, which also came off. The fur hats tumbled like a moth-eaten avalanche, burying a small monk. No one noticed. My sweat began to dry. I folded myself into one piece. No one. So this is the poetry of confirmation, testimonials that have been left for us by people that we have never met and never will. Virginia Adair, no, Virginia Hamilton Adair, Dogen Zenji, Shakyamuni Buddha, Tozan, Rumi, Mahavajapati, Amba Pali, and yet I think we're very lucky that they chose to live their lives

[40:46]

sending their discoveries on like messages in a bottle. When we chant the ancestors' lineage here each morning, I deeply feel gratitude to each and every one of them. These are the worthy navigators across the ocean that connects the dark to the light. So I wish all of you the benefit of these great teachings and I especially wish it to those of you who will be sitting sasheen and I especially wish it to those of you who will not. Good job, everyone. Attention.

[41:44]

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