I want to talk this morning about the practice of skillful means. We've been discussing, we're towards the end of a two-month practice commitment period where we've been talking about these actually ten practices of bodhisattvas, of enlightening beings. And so each of these is a way of expressing meditative awareness in our everyday activity. And actually meditation is one of them, along with generosity, which Hogacha spoke of last Sunday, and ethical conduct, which Niazan spoke of recently. Patience, effort, that Keizan's going to speak of next week. Meditation and prajnaparamita. We have the Sanskrit for prajna on the wall over there. I'll talk about that later. And then there's four more, vow, skillful means, powers and knowledge.

[01:06]

All of these are particular practices that we can take on and work with in our everyday activity, in our everyday lives. And skillful means is one of the most challenging and one of the most important. Skillful means, in this context, is not about some kind of instruction manual which tells us how to fix things. Skillful means, you know, it's related to wisdom, it's related to patience and generosity. Skillful means is about our immediate response, about helpful response, about trial and error, trying things. In some ways, it's the opposite of Prajna, our wisdom, which sees the oneness and sameness of all beings. Skillful Means is about seeing the particularities and the differences.

[02:08]

How do we respond helpfully in each different situation, given the particularities of that situation? The particular problems, a particular ways of seeing things of particular people. So this is very practical, and it's also challenging. So two places to look for skillful means. The Lotus Sutra, one of our most important bodhisattva sutras, focuses, at least in the first half, about skillful means. So I want to talk about that. And also I want to talk about the bodhisattva of compassion, who's on the wall over there, And she particularly represents the practice of skillful means, and how to respond, and first of all, how to see the differences. So maybe one place to start is the Lotus Sutra saying, before it starts to talk about skillful means, just that the single great cause for Buddhas appearing in the world

[03:19]

or for Buddha's heart appearing in the world is to help suffering beings enter into the path of awakening. So that's kind of the criteria for skillful means. How do we help ourselves and the people around us and all beings, this is very inclusive, each in their own way to find a way to enter into this path, this process of awakening. that really does free all living beings. That's the scope of what this practice is about. And, of course, we each approach it in our own way, and the point isn't to reach some perfect practice of skillful means, but to just enter into the path, the process of awakening. So in the Lotus Sutra, it gives various parables that represent what this skillful means is about.

[04:24]

The first one, maybe the most famous one, is the parable of the burning house. A man comes home and finds his house on fire. And this is, in some ways, a metaphor for the world and the suffering of the world and the pain of the world. our life and the world around us is on fire. There's tremendous suffering. And the man sees his children playing in the house and says, come on, get out of there. That's terrible. Please come out here where we can enjoy the cool breeze. And the children said, nah, we're busy playing with our games, with our Xboxes, with the internet. Anyway, all of the different toys that they have. And the man says, well, finally figures he needs to do something. So he says, well, I have all these wonderful things for you out here.

[05:25]

And he tells them about the different vehicles that he has outside of the house, so that they will come out of the house. And so they get all excited, and they come out of the house. And then they find there's just one vehicle. metaphor for skillful means, that all of the different practices, all the different teachings of awakening are simply a part of this single great vehicle, which is to help beings enter into the path of awakening. There are other parables in the Lotus Sutra about this. One of them is about magical city in the parable is that there's a caravan leader leading a caravan of merchants across this great desert. And the caravan leader represents the Buddha. And everybody on the caravan gets tired and exhausted, and they just want to go back.

[06:29]

They just want to give up. And the caravan leader looks up ahead and says, oh, look, there's a great, wonderful city. and we'll get refreshment there and then we'll be okay." So they all come to this city and get refreshed and reinvigorated and ready to proceed, ready to, you know. proceed, and then the caravan leader says to them, actually, this is just an apparition of a city, and actually, we have a long way to go now, but no, you're ready to keep going. And the metaphor is that the conscious city represents aspects of the Buddhist path that are just about finding self-enlightenment, finding some some peace of mind for oneself and some calm. This represents the old idea of nirvana as an escape from our world.

[07:32]

But the actual goal in this story is universal liberation, that we're not practicing just for ourselves, that we're all in this together in so many ways, that we are all deeply interconnected. So that's another kind of parable or story about skillful means, that this is an example of skillful means that the caravan leader or the Buddha provides. There are tentative, temporary kind of places of relief along the way, along the path. Another story in the Lotus Sutra which I particularly like is about the universal reign of the Dharma, that the Dharma, the teaching of reality and of awakening reigns everywhere. And all the different plants and all the different parts of the world receive this reign and are nourished by it, each in their own way. So each of us has our own way of being Buddha.

[08:37]

I can't tell you how to be Buddha. I can share my experience or practice, but each one of you has your own way to be Buddha. Each one of you is nourished by the Dharma in the particular way that is helpful to you. So when you are willing to just be present and receive this rain, and be watered by the Dharma, then that can help you in your own way. So again, The point of skillful means is not that there's some one means fits all kind of solution to how do we find relief from suffering, how do we find awakening, how do we find great joy in our life in this world. That each of us has our own particular gifts but also our own particular problems and sadnesses and losses and we're all

[09:43]

damaged in different ways. And we also can all find healing in different ways. So the practice of skillful means involves a lot of patience. When you see people in your life or in the world who are suffering, it takes a while to actually see what might be helpful. We have to just sometimes, you know, rushing around trying to fix things or problem solve, is not so helpful or even can get in the way of real help. So how do we, so our practice of meditation, our practice of just sitting is to be upright, find some inner calm ourselves, even amidst the swirling of thoughts or if we're feeling sleepy or groggy, whatever's going on, to just be present and upright in this situation. And thus we learn We start to learn about patience, about this active practice of patience.

[10:47]

It's not just passively waiting for someone to come and save us. It's paying attention to what's going on in ourselves, in our own suffering, but also in the people in your life, the people in your world, and how to respond. So the skillful means is about responding in various different ways. It's about actually appreciating, respecting, honoring, not just merely tolerating and being patient with, but really appreciating the differences and how different people have their own particular way of awakening and their own particular issues that they need help with in terms of the process of awakening. So this is something we can all do. This is something that Buddhas and Bodhisattvas do for us. But how to pay attention. So I also want to say Happy Mother's Day today.

[11:48]

This is not irrelevant to us. Some of you are mothers and many of you have mothers or have had mothers. So Happy Mother's Day to all of you. And I think mothers are relevant to skillful means in some way. Mothers naturally, you know, Not all mothers are good enough mothers, maybe, but mothers see the problems of their children and try and respond. We all know that mothers don't always get it right, but the point is that mothers are there, paying attention, trying to respond, trying to help. And also mothers recognize the differences. So mothers who have more than one child realize each child is particular. Some children are difficult in one way, some children are difficult in another way.

[12:50]

Some children have this particular capacity, or some children have other capacities. So mothers are aware of this. And maybe this applies to fathers too, but I think in some ways it's maybe more immediate for mothers. How do I help with this child? How do I help with that child? And so skillful means is naturally, I think, a Mother's Day practice. And that brings me to the bodhisattva of compassion, of kanzeon in Japanese, or kanon, or guanyin in Chinese, avalokitesvara, often depicted as a woman or a mother, And the bodhisattva of compassion is the one who listens, first of all. Her name, Kansyon, means to listen to the sounds of the world. Sometimes to listen to the cries of the world.

[13:51]

So a big part of our practice as we sit, one of the reasons why we sit with our eyes open, that's sometimes difficult for people. There are forms of Buddhist meditation or other kinds of meditation where people sit with their eyes closed. The part of sitting with our eyes open is the same as sitting with our ears open, just to be aware of the world around us. So in our practice we settle into what is upright, what is our inner dignity, how do we stay present amidst all of the thoughts and feelings and all of the confusion and all of our greed or grasping and all of our fear or frustration. All of that is present, too, when we sit. We say to put that aside, but it's there. It's part of what's happening on your cushion or chair. How do we respond to all of that? Well, again, the practice of patience.

[15:02]

And for the Bodhisattva of Compassion, her name means literally to hear the sounds of the world. So to listen, to just patiently pay attention to the problems I have this week or the situations in my life, in the people in my life and in the world this week who, you know, sometimes we have some difficulty with someone and Skillful means is about practically listening to that person. And what's a helpful way to respond? It's very easy to just feel critical and call somebody names because they're acting in a harmful or unhelpful way. But how do we pay attention to what's going on? What is their sadness? What is their fear? What is their pain? Beneath anger, there's usually some sadness or fear. So if someone's angry at you, what's going on?

[16:08]

And it doesn't mean that listening to that, being open to that suffering in yourself and in others necessarily is going to help fix it. It's not about fixing it even. It's about just can we be open to the world, to ourselves, to our own frustrations, to our own sadness. Not to try and get rid of our sadness, but just to be present. and upright and breathe into it. Of course, you know, there's also joy in life and we should also appreciate and be grateful for all the things that we do have to be grateful for. And maybe that's part of skillful means too. Maybe you can point out to someone in a way that they can hear, you know, all the things they have to be grateful for. But often it's challenging to be, how to respond skillfully to people who are having a hard time, to ourselves when we're having a hard time, to your friends and family members when they're having a hard time.

[17:15]

So again, the first step of skillful means is just patiently to pay attention. And then the practice of generosity comes in. Well, how do we, what is it to be generous to this person or to this situation in myself or others? So skillful means then is again trying things, trial and error. Like the man outside the burning house, he wasn't sure what to do. He tried to call them to just come out, but they needed some enticement. How do we help people to see the ways in which they are acting that is harmful to themselves or to you or to others? It's not so easy. So again, practicing patience. And then the Bodhisattva of Compassion is a very colorful figure. She has many, many different forms, and that's part of skillful means too. So it's hard to see, but if you look closely when you leave, there's 11 heads on this version of the Bodhisattva of Compassion to see from different perspectives, to see with different eyes what is going on.

[18:31]

in any particular situation. And there are other forms of the Bodhisattva of Compassion that are wrathful, that represent tough love. And then there's a form of the Bodhisattva of Compassion that has many, many, many, many hands, a thousand hands. Sometimes it's only 25 and they represent it symbolically, but in Japan you can see in China statues with literally thousand arms. And each, in the palm of each hand is an eye. So again, many different, to see from many different perspectives. And many of the hands hold various tools. All kinds of different tools. To be, and so part of skillful means is to use what's at hand. So we don't have to kind of figure out some special, ultra sophisticated way of solving some problem. The point is this kind of unmediated, immediate response.

[19:35]

We see some problem. How do we respond? Trial and error. How do we use this? Or how do we use whatever we have to try and be helpful? So I think mothers are good at this. They try and find ways to respond and be helpful to help their children stay out of trouble or find a way of working through some problem. And the Bodhisattva of Compassion also represents this with all the different hands. And Hoguetsu told last week the story of two monks who were talking about, well, how do we, why does the Bodhisattva of Compassion have so many hands and eyes? And the other one said, it's like reaching back for your pillow in the middle of the night. So, you know, there's such an automatic response. It's not something that you have to figure out. It's just, oh, adjusting your pillow. Well, in some ways, skillful means is like this, just to respond with whatever's at hand, just to try and find comfort in whatever we can do.

[20:42]

Maybe that's most of what I want to say about this, but again, this comes out of our practice of just sitting, of being upright and present in this body and mind, not based on our idea of who we are, but... Actually, what is it like here, this morning, now, to sit and be present on your Kushner chair? with this body and this mind. And maybe, we have several people who were here for the first time, who maybe meditated for the first time, and it may be that you noticed that there were lots of thoughts going on. And if you think that you can control your thoughts, you just need to sit a little bit and see that there's all kinds of things that can come up. And so what's that about? Well, this is the sounds of the world.

[21:52]

And we can get caught up in some stream of thought, but the practice is then to just come back and be present and upright. And notice, oh yeah, I'm thinking about whatever. It might be something silly like, you know. some laundry list or something you have to do later today, or it might be something that's really troubling you. And sometimes sitting with that, insights arise, thoughts arise that might be helpful as a way to respond. But again, the point is, how do we bring ourselves to try to respond to whatever is going on that needs help in our world? with the people in our world and the problems in our own lives. And again, it's not about fixing it. And maybe after the kids came out of the burning house, then some of them wanted to go back in. So it's not that we solve some problem once and for all.

[22:58]

Sometimes that happens. It is true that sometimes things get fixed or healed. But then there's always more situations. this practice of skillful means is kind of ongoing way of considering, okay, what's going on here? How can I pay attention to it? How can I reach out, reach back, reach out? Where are the pillows? Where are the comforts that I can offer in this situation? But first we have to just stop and pay attention and not try and rush to fix things, but really from this inner centered, calm dignity that we connect with in our sitting, how do I respond? So I'm interested in any comments, questions, responses that any of you have about skillful means and this practice. So please feel free. Do you think there always is a skillful response?

[24:18]

Yeah. And sometimes the skillful response is to do nothing. Sometimes the skillful response is to not try. There's nothing to do right now. But you keep paying attention. And what skillful response may not actually quote-unquote work. It might, in ways that we don't necessarily expect. So yeah, it's challenging. But the practice is just to keep paying attention and keep responding. And it may not be an active response. But if we're paying attention, then suddenly you can see some way to respond. And it may not totally fix the situation, but it might help a little. Other comments, questions, responses, please feel free. Yes, Kathy, hi. I was talking to a friend this week and they were describing to me the way that they felt their life had changed after being a mother for 20 years and saying that when they were younger

[25:36]

remember basically focusing on themselves, but as an author now, that they're continually always, you feel part of a system, and you're not only thinking about your children's needs, but the connection, or their time with their father, so it's kind of like Yeah, there's a whole world there. And I'm not a parent myself, but I'm a step-parent, but in some ways, having children is a way that biologically, so the numbers of mothers and fathers here, but that we have to pay attention to someone else. Someone else's needs become,

[26:38]

You know, as you were saying, more important than just, you know, what do I want? So, yeah. And I think it becomes built in. It's biological. It's not just some idea. Yeah. Yeah, well, that metaphor is used a lot in Buddhism, that Buddha is in the story of the burning house, but in another context, too, that Buddha is like a father, or Prajnaparamita goddess, or Kanon, or like mothers. So, and the whole idea of the tradition and lineage that there's this sense of nourishing the next generation that's part of this Buddhist tradition.

[27:40]

But I think it also can be part of our culture. How do we take care of what is here? But yeah, I think in terms of literally mothers, and to some extent fathers too, it's biological. It's not just humans and animals too. In many ways, mothers are you know, building nests and taking care of the children. So, yeah, it's beyond our ideas about it. It's something very deep. Right. One of the problems, I think, of naming a father is not only the nurturing side of it, but then the letting go part of it. It's so easy to say, oh, you know, my child would be so good at this, I need to push her to do it, you know, and get my own ego caught up in it.

[28:43]

And it seems in skillful means, I may be mishearing, but it seems like there's some goal there. You want the kids out of that house. You know, because it's burning. I mean, it's not that that's a bad thing. But where does that come? Can you speak a little bit to that? I don't know if it's an attachment to a goal, but to have some skillful means towards something while not getting our own egos caught up in, okay, this is what it should be. Yeah, very important point, thank you. Yeah, so part of skillful means and part of patience is letting go. I may have some idea about how any of you should be Buddha. It's possible what your practice should be like. But actually, each of you has your own way to express awakening. The same thing with parenting and children. Children are not just extensions of their parents.

[29:48]

They are independent. So that's the part of seeing differences and respecting the differences and respecting the particularities of particular children or practitioners that Each person has their own way of developing and expressing themselves, and it's not. And maybe, naturally, parents do have some ideas of how they want their children to be or who they want them to be. That happens, but part of the practice of skillful means and patience is letting go of that. paying attention still to what's going on with that particular child, but also not trying to force some idea based on our expectations. So yeah, skillful means is you know, just reaching back, just extending a hand, just trying to help, but then it's not about our idea of an outcome.

[30:54]

So yeah, it's an important point. It's about what is helpful in the process, not about reaching some goal of Buddhahood, but the process of being on the path to maturing, to becoming an adult, to finding one's own way. So thank you, that's a very important point. Alex? I had an experience yesterday with my kids that was a little illustrative of this idea. I was out taking them to lunch, they were calling it pizza, and we were walking down the street and this guy, he wasn't home so he was itinerant and kind of big. I was trying to get a parking sticker for my car, and some kids were off, a little bit down the street doing something.

[31:56]

This guy came running over, he's like, you know, talking really loudly to us, and I'm like, where's your mom? What's going on? So I walk over there, and he recognized I was their father, and he explained to him, well, I was looking at your kids, and I don't know where your mother went, and this guy walked around. And he was, you know, talking very loudly, and he's kind of scary. So I was trying to decide what's my best approach to deal with this guy, because he was trying to do something in his own mind. He thought it was being helpful, and actually looking after his children. So I thought, in that context, it was better for me to approach him in a, you know, friendly manner and say, well, thank you very much. I really appreciate you looking after my kids for me. And he wanted to talk more, so we talked more. But with that experience, this morning I was thinking, I was like, I don't know, maybe I should have come a little bit harder.

[33:00]

That guy should have been a little more aggressive with him. But I thought about something. I thought, well, this also gave me an opportunity to talk to my children about that guy was, quote, unquote, friendly, which sounds kind of weird, right, to them, when I was talking to them. While he was friendly towards you, he was not, you know, he was still a stranger to me, but I understand that if you're a stranger, then someone less friendly, and you know, who your family is and stuff like that. So it presented a nice opportunity to give them a lesson of that experience. So overall, it seemed like, you know, there were a lot of options to make a skillful response to the situation, and I'll see what was best. Yeah, that's a great story about skillful means. And we don't always know what's the right way to respond to something.

[34:03]

But I think part of it, part of skillful means is trusting our own response. And you reminded me of another aspect of this, which is at the heart in some ways of ethical conduct, which is respectfulness. So even if this guy was a little weird and maybe even though he seemed like he was trying to be helpful, but maybe, who knows, if you hadn't been there, what would have happened. But to start from the context of respecting everyone in the situation, respecting the people who you're having a hard time with, and how do I? how do I express something to them where we can harmonize, respecting the situation. So I think it sounds like you behaved in a way that was very, very skillful, all in all. But it's not some, again, it's not some instruction manual that we can say, oh, this is the way I should respond in some situation.

[35:09]

You have to kind of, that part of the idea of the Bodhisattva of Compassion, responds immediately kind of from the gut. What seems right here? But again, this idea of starting from this perspective of respecting all beings, everybody involved in the situation, respecting your daughters and what were their needs in the situation, respecting your own response, respecting this guy who you weren't sure where he was coming from. So yeah, it's a great story, thank you. So we have time for one or two others. If any of the new people want, or people are here for the first time, have any questions or comments too, please feel free. Kezan, you've been here before, but go ahead. Could you talk a little bit about equilibrium?

[36:11]

Yeah, so part of what our practice of upright sitting helps us to recognize is some sense of calm and some sense of balance. So there's always this balancing in the story that Alex gave. Taking care of your kids, not responding inappropriately, aggressively to this guy. There's always, in every situation, there's how do we find the balance here? So I think that's part of skillful means. Having some part of what works about this practice, and for people who are here for the first time, I really recommend doing this, not just once or twice. But regularly, every day if you can, or several times a week. And you don't have to sit for 30 or 40 minutes, which we usually do, but even for 10 or 20 minutes. Just to have a space in your day where you stop, sit down, whatever blankets or cushions you have at home, just stop, sit down, face the wall for 20 minutes or whatever.

[37:45]

just to be there. And so it's not about doing it correctly or incorrectly. It's about just giving yourself this space to be present as you are. And that helps, over time, develop this sense of calm, equilibrium, balancing. A big part of Zazen is, we emphasize this in the instruction, the posture. And that's about, you know, how do we find You know, what is upright? What is center? Not leaning forward too much, not holding back. Finding that sense of balance. And a lot of our practice is coming back to balance, recognizing when we lose our balance, when we get too caught up in all the work we're doing and, you know, kind of get frazzled and then, oh yeah, and maybe you have to wait until you're finished with some grading or whatever. Okay, how do I find center again? And in the course of a period of zazen, it happens too. We get caught up in thoughts.

[38:50]

Okay, how do I come back to my breath and uprightness? Or we feel sleepy, and you know, if you feel sleepy, that's what's happening, but pay attention to it. And how can you bring yourself back to attention? So this part of A huge part of practice, a huge part of patience, a huge part of generosity and skillful means in all these practices is this coming back to balance. How do you present the Dharma?

[40:04]

You have to find a way to present it in ways that people can hear. And that might involve you presenting it in ways that you might not prefer to talk about it. You might prefer to, like, how do you talk to somebody of another faith tradition in a sort of language that they can interact with and understand that's not aggressive, that's And so it seems like this idea of skillful means, so it's a science. which in any given case could be anything.

[41:11]

Yeah, well I think part of the teaching of skillful means is about that exactly. It is respecting differences. So in terms of presenting the Dharma, in terms of expressing ourselves most wholesomely from whatever Dharma position one has, to have the sense of openness that part of the point of, I could say, Buddhism and all the different scriptures and practices, but even more widely, just the different wholesome and constructive aspects of any culture, you know, is that there are different ways that different people connect with, again, the single great cause. How do you help people onto the path of awakening? And when you see it that way, you can't lie. You might be saying this truth in some helpful way that is not everything you might say, but you're actually, it's all part of the truth and openness of that single great cause of helping beings.

[42:32]

towards awakening. So speaking to someone from, you know, Buddhism is a very much a minority religion in our culture, as we all know. So speaking about our truth to someone from, you know, who's Christian or Jew or Islamic or, you know, whatever, we don't have to use Buddhist words. How do we talk about the truth as we see it in a way that they can hear. That's the point. And so it's not about being deceptive. It's about really seeing that all of it is related to the basic problem of how to help beings find relief from suffering. Good question. So thank you all for listening and for your contributions to the discussion and happy Mother's Day.

[43:36]

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