Again, there's an assertion, which is also a thought experiment. And great compassion is living in silence and stillness. It's also living in noise and movement. But the title of this series is not noise and movement and social action.

[01:04]

It's silent sitting and social action. The practice of sitting still and silent is for the sake of celebrating, remembering, living, enjoying, and practicing great compassion without moving, without saying anything. And then from that place to understand how to continue to remember and continue to practice great compassion in various actions.

[02:08]

The silent sitting is a time to let the great compassion, to enjoy it, and let it like sink into your body and mind. So that when you start speaking and gesturing, you may have a better chance to stay in intimate realization of the compassion, of the great compassion. As we are involved in things which come and go, we have opportunity to remember something that doesn't come and go. Great compassion doesn't come or go. Great compassion is a conversation.

[03:20]

It's a conversation that's going on all the time, even when we don't move our mouth or make a sound. What is that conversation? The etymology of the word conversation is familiarity, together with, and intimacy. Conversation is intimacy. Intimacy is living in silence and stillness, and it's living in everything we do. The practice of silence and stillness is an opportunity to absorb this intimacy.

[04:26]

And it's the intimacy of everything in the universe coming forward and meeting itself. It's the universe meeting the universe in the form of our life. The way the universe meets itself as Amanda is one way. The way it meets itself as Agnes is another way. And when it meets itself, the meeting is complete, and the meeting, in a way, comes and goes. But the intimacy is always there for every meeting. And we can remember that when we talk to each other, or we can forget it.

[05:40]

We can remember it, or we can get distracted from it. When we get distracted from it, in that distraction, there is also great compassion, but we might miss it. But not necessarily. We might wake up in the distraction to the great compassion that is not the distraction, but it's the way the distraction is in conversation with everything. It's the intimacy of the distraction and everything that's not the distraction. It's the intimacy of me and the whole universe. It's the intimacy of you and the whole universe. That's great compassion. Great compassion doesn't look at the universe and care for it.

[06:43]

There's no object to this great compassion. Intimacy doesn't have an object. My intimacy with you doesn't have an object. I can look at you, and you're an object, in a sense, to my mind, and I'm an object, in a sense, to my mind, or a subject. And my subjective experience is, I want you to be protected from any harm. I want you to be at peace. That's the subjective way I am. And that's a kind of compassion which has objects. And I can think of one of you at a time, or two of you at a time, but I can't think of everybody all the time. But great compassion is everybody all the time, with everybody all the time.

[07:52]

And that's always with us, no matter what. And we can remember it and realize it. While we're practicing these other forms of compassion, while we're practicing compassion towards other living beings, wishing them well, and not modifying our view of them with teachings. In other words, sentimental compassion. Like, I look at somebody, and I don't apply the teachings to that person. Great compassion is there, too. Or I can look at people and remember the teachings as I look at them. I can remember that beings are impermanent, momentary compositions of innumerable conditions.

[08:57]

I can also remember, because they are all things coming together to make them in this way, they have no independent existence from everything that makes them. I can remember that. I can practice that. And those types of compassion will free me from the sticky compassion of looking at people and taking them to be the way they appear, which is, they might appear permanent and existing by themselves. I can become free of that by the other types of compassion. But I also can remember great compassion. Yeah. So, remembering great compassion, more and more, the resource of it is more and more permeating all of our actions.

[10:09]

These are physical actions, but I'm doing them with you, right? My hands are in social relationship with you, right? My words are in social relationship with you, right? This is my social life right now. It goes beyond this room, but it's in this room. I have a social life here. This is a social club for me. And I'm remembering teachings and practices in this society. And you are too. And you come here to remember teachings and to remember practices and to practice them here, and you do. And you want to practice them when you leave, and you do. Not the same way you practice here, but you do.

[11:11]

And whether you think so or not, when you're here and when you're out and about, you're always practicing great compassion. You're always practicing intimacy. And if you remember it, it's a different life from not remembering it. And great compassion doesn't say it's better if you remember it than if you don't, but great compassion is the way remembering is not the same as forgetting. It's a different intimacy. There's an intimacy of remembering and an intimacy of forgetting. And most of us didn't come to this series of meetings to promote forgetting. Maybe nobody here came to say,

[12:15]

I'm going to go there so I can forget a whole bunch of practices which I'd like to practice. No. You came here to enhance your mindfulness of teachings. And one of the teachings you can remember is that whether you practice mindfulness or not, the way you actually are, whether you think so or not, whether you hear about it or not, the people who have not heard this teaching, they're the same as us. They are totally intimate with us. You can't get away from the people who have not heard about great compassion. We cannot get away from them. And we can't get away from those who've heard about it. We're intimate with everybody. That's great compassion. And we're doing these other kinds of practice of compassion. These other types of compassion promote the realization of the way we already are.

[13:18]

So I think I mentioned in some past sessions that I'm a little bit like a medic who is helping you heal. So you can go back out into society and benefit people and come here and be healed from any forgetfulness that you have fallen into when you were doing your work with everybody. Okay, that was a big conversation piece. Pretty big. Yes.

[14:36]

All other beings are social. They're married in some way, directly or indirectly with other beings, paternally, paternally. And all the forces of the universe are sort of all tied into that. That seems like a different thing. It seems like that means we're connected to everything, but it doesn't really work, or expression of everything, if you put it. But not that it's compassion, that that's compassion. Compassion is usually this kind of feeling, somewhat more of a feeling thing. You feel compassion, whereas one is the intellectual concept that we are connected to everything, and you might not feel that. I don't see that as equivalent to or the same as compassion. It seems to me that you're saying. Yes, that makes sense to me. I have a question. What am I missing? You're not really missing anything, and that's hard for you to understand,

[16:02]

that you're not missing anything. So, one thing, let's see. I think that the first three types of compassion which we've talked about, those are actually, those are rather, they're actually intellectual, in the sense that you can understand that you have an intellect which can see that you're here, and other beings are there, and you, and the thing that it's an intellectual, but it's also compassion, because you want them to be free of suffering. You want them to be protected. So that's compassion, but that's actually more intellectual than the great compassion, because great compassion, there's nobody out there. It's objectless. The compassion is not an object, and all beings are not an object. So, the great compassion,

[17:05]

although we're talking about it, it's actually not intellectual. Our discussion of it, I'm using intellect to tell you about it, but it actually is inconceivable. We can't conceive of, we need objects to conceive of things, to have concepts, to be aware of them. So, the great compassion is inconceivable, non-dualistic, and it is, it's a mind, it's a mind, and it's a mind which includes all, all these wishes for the well-being, well-being. It includes them, and wants them all to be realized. It wants, yeah, it wants all these compassionate wishes to be realized, but it also includes people who are, thoughts of not compassion, it includes them too, because the thoughts of non-compassion are part of what makes us compassionate.

[18:07]

The people who are actually having thoughts in their mind of ill-will are part of what makes us feel intensely that we want to protect people from ill-will. Cruelty is totally embraced by great compassion. But cruelty is a phenomenon which occurs because of a lack of understanding of these three types of compassion and lack of understanding, of course, of great compassion. Just a minute, I'm still answering this question. so great compassion may be seen intellectual, but actually it's, it is beyond intellect. We cannot get it with our intellect. The other three we can, and the other three will promote us being able to

[19:10]

more fully realize the great compassion which is always with us, which is, which is the way we impact each other all the time. It's the way your suffering affects me and my suffering affects you. I cannot suffer without it having an effect on you, and vice versa. That's great compassion. Also, your happiness impacts me, and my happiness impacts you. Not only does your happiness impact me, it's included in me. And me being included, me including you also is included in you. That's intimacy. And we can talk about it and make clear that this is the name of the game. It's intimacy, it's conversation. And then, in our conceivable realm, we can act out conversation. We can practice it

[20:13]

in the realm of concept, like we're doing here. You can raise your question, and when you raise it, you can remember various teachings while you're talking to me, while you're telling me, I understand this, I don't understand that. You can also remember that all you could, all the while you're saying that, all the while you're saying, I don't quite understand great compassion, but I heard a teaching which says whether I understand it or not, the way I really am is that way. But I don't yet fully understand that I'm that way, and I want to. So I want to understand, I want to understand really throughout my body that I include everybody and I'm included in everybody. I want to understand that I don't fully understand it, but I understand that's what I'm trying to understand. And then the example I think I gave last week of the story of the two ancient Zen teachers

[21:13]

talking about Avalokiteshvara's innumerable hands which are reaching out to help beings. And the monk says, one says to the other one, how do they use those hands of compassion? And the hands have eyes in them, how do they use those eyes and hands? And the one who was questioned said, it's like reaching back in the night for a pillow. The way they're used is they just naturally emerge from silence and stillness. And then the questioner says, I understand. And the monk questioned said, well, how do you understand? He said, all over the body, hands and eyes. And the other one says, you've got 80%. And he says, what about you, elder brother? And he says, throughout the body. So, part of the theory of this practice is,

[22:14]

by remembering this teaching, you actually become drenched. So that by putting in a major effort of remembering, not getting, remembering the way you are, not trying, remembering the way you are rather than trying to get to be some other way. Rather than get to be a great compassionate person, remember that the way you actually are is what's meant by great compassion. And great compassion isn't a person. Great compassion isn't Linda or Linda or Linda. Great compassion is the conversation that we're involved in all the time. That's great compassion. Great compassion is the way we actually actually are caring for each other and challenging each other to realize great compassion.

[23:16]

Great compassion wants beings to realize great compassion. Remembering that, remembering it becomes throughout our body and mind, and then our gestures, our thoughts, and our speech in relationship, in society, express this great compassion to the extent that it's been realized by us practicing remembering it. So again, it's to remember the way we already are and then realize it by remembering it. And it's also to observe how we're acting and contemplate whether we feel our action seems to be in resonance with this great compassion. When I talk to you, do I remember that I'm talking to myself? Do I remember that I'm

[24:16]

included in you and you're included in me? If I don't remember, it's not so much me judging that what I did was good or bad, but I didn't remember. Now, what if I remember? Then after I remember, I could say, actually, the way I was talking to her was like I probably would if I did remember. How nice! Or, I did forget and I didn't talk to her like I was talking to somebody who was included in me. I talked to her about what she was doing like I wasn't included in me, or I wasn't included in what she did. She did something and that wasn't me. I wasn't included in that. No. If I felt like that, then I got derailed from the way I really am. And also maybe spoke somewhat disrespectfully because I

[25:17]

forgot the way I am, the way she is, the way we are. Yes? What is the role of suffering in compassion? For example, I have three kitties. They're very smart and I have so much compassion for them, but I notice that a lot of that compassion has to do with suffering for their suffering and for what they will be suffering in this life. And is that a sick kind of compassion? Is suffering a sick kind of compassion? Yes. If you mix it with compassion. Did you say if you mix it with compassion?

[26:19]

No. The word compassion means with suffering. The word compassion, the etymology of compassion is with suffering. Compassion is with suffering. It's not that suffering is a sick form of compassion. Suffering is what compassion lives with. So you got some suffering? Being with that is compassion. Now you could also be with it and wish that the suffering would be relieved. That would be okay too. And actually that's another form of suffering. And you'd be with that too. So yeah, being with suffering cats is compassion and being with the suffering you feel when you see their suffering is compassion. What I experience looking at them, playing and so on, is I have a

[27:21]

deep sense that they're going to be suffering in this lifetime or another lifetime and it takes the joy out of suffering, of compassion. Did you say it takes the joy out of suffering? Out of compassion. No, no, no. Compassion is the joy of being with suffering. Compassion is joy. Compassion is joy and it's joy of being with suffering. It's a strange kind of joy. It's like it's the supreme joy. Supreme joy. Sublime. Sublime. Sublime joy. Yeah. To feel pain, to be with pain because you care

[28:22]

about someone or something. That's compassion and it's a joy. It's a joy that you care about your cats. Their suffering doesn't undermine your joy. Your lack of suffering undermines your joy. I mean your lack of compassion undermines the joy of compassion. Compassion is joy. However, even in the early teachings of Buddhism, there's something they call near, they say, excuse the expression, enemies but also near pitfalls. Right around compassion, which is joy, one of the pitfalls is depression. You've got to be careful with this compassion. Stay on the beam because if you go off the beam, you go from joy to depression. Another pitfall is attachment. You start attached to the beings that you care about, which of course

[29:22]

happens so frequently to parents that they care for their children, they want to protect them and they slip into attaching to them. They veer off from compassion, which cares for without attachment, into caring with attachment. And the other is getting depressed at all the suffering. Like, you know, I think we've all been having a hard time lately, right? All these people suffering all over California, you know, fairly nearby and our air being so poisonous, so hard on us and especially on some people, really messing with their health. It's been really difficult, right? To practice compassion with the situation is a joyful way to be with it. But you can get depressed too. It's right there. Just slip off a little bit. Lean into

[30:22]

it. So we have this expression of being upright. Don't lean into the suffering. That's not compassion. Don't lean away from it. That's not compassion. Leaning into it, you get attached. Leaning away, it's cruel. Being upright with it is joyful. So, yeah, we're trying to learn how to be upright. With how to be still and quiet and listen, listen. So, again, it's easier to listen to the cries when it's quiet. And easier to look at people when you're still. Sometimes we are so busy, we walk right by somebody that we really care about because they're moving so fast. Or there's so much momentum that we don't

[31:23]

stop and look at the person who's... Yes? I think you've answered my question about three times but I have to ask it anyway. I felt like I followed along pretty well tonight. I was right with you and I could never say the words but you said them and I nodded. With your help? With my help. And so I really felt that I got it intellectually but I just had this strong desire to get it through my body. It was interesting that you told that story because I feel like when I really know something, I know it in my body. And it's frustrating. It's frustrating to feel kind of locked at the intellectual place and I feel like you just answered, don't lean in too much. Yeah, don't lean into it. So you have a desire, you wish to fully

[32:25]

embody great compassion and any other kinds of compassion that would be helpful, you're up for it. And also embody, also embody all suffering. Learn to accept suffering is omnipresent. Train so that you don't think that there's going to be a break, a pause in the suffering. Learn how to live with that. And one of the ways to live with it, one of the practices to help you live with omnipresent suffering is patience. And the key ingredient of patience is not leaning into the future. So I wish to fully embody compassion so I can be with all the suffering and not run away from it. And I don't feel I yet have fully embodied it.

[33:26]

And so I lean into a more full embodiment. In other words, I'm not in the present. So I wish to be more fully and more consistently open to being suffering. I sometimes feel like I'm not. And I wish to be. And to have that wish and not, and to have that wish and be aware of the shortcoming is somewhat uncomfortable. Part of what will realize what I want is to be present with my present level of incomplete realization. And leaning into a better realization is going away from patience. Being here with my present level, being here with your present level, you being here with your present level, all of us, now we're doing

[34:27]

the necessary work. The necessary work of full realization is to be patient with partial realization. But part of the reason why we have partial realization is that we spend quite a bit of time leaning into full realization. And so we forgive ourselves for leaning. We notice, oh, I'm leaning into a more complete realization. Oh, and that's something else now to be patient with. So now I'm back. Accepting that not only is my realization of great compassion partial, but I'm leaning into full realization, which is also partial realization. And great compassion is with me when I'm not leaning and when I am leaning. Okay? Yes? Today someone that I'm close to was suffering and in a very emergency state, and I tried to help her.

[35:29]

I needed to help her, and I did the very best I could. I called on whatever wisdom I could find. I kept calm instead of being upset. It was quite upsetting for her. And then I did my best and then I called up somebody to check on whether I did the right thing, and it looked like I did the right thing. But I didn't feel any joy in being with that suffering. I was upset, and then I had to kind of later separately work on getting myself calmed down so that I could still be okay and helpful. But joy? Tell me. Did you want me... You can answer a question if you want to.

[36:29]

Could you wait a second? What's the role of suffering? It's compassion's partner. It's compassion's partner that's its role. So, and also another part of compassion, another part of the joy of compassion, another part of the joy of compassion, besides generosity. You were somewhere generous with your friend, right? Besides patience. Another aspect of it is ethical discipline. Ethical discipline is another dimension of compassion, which includes being called into question. And you felt called into question by this exercise in compassion. However,

[37:36]

being called into question, like wondering if I was effectively helpful, wondering if I did the right thing, those thoughts are not pleasant thoughts. They're anxious thoughts. However, in order to be fully compassionate, we have to have that particular variety of anxious thoughts. Other ones, too. But it's not like when you're practicing compassion, you don't feel called into question. You don't wonder yourself, like, I wonder if that was helpful. I wonder if I was skillful. That is part of the joy of compassion. And also, other people calling us into question and saying, you know, I don't know, I wonder if that was skillful, what you just did. When you first start being called into question, most people don't immediately think,

[38:38]

this is what I am here for. But by continuing to practice, realizing that wondering, and other people wondering whether you're helpful, is part of compassion. You will feel more and more joy the more you're called into question. Before I was called into question, before I doubted and double-checked, well, just double-checked, I felt very challenged. How can I help this person without becoming upset myself? That's being called into question. That's part of the deal. That's part of what practicing compassion involves. And so I'm telling you that, so when that comes, you don't think, well, this shouldn't be part of it. This is part of it. And being called into question, the first 87 million

[39:39]

times you're called, you may not feel like, oh, great. But more and more you feel like, oh yeah, called into question is kind of, it's a little uncomfortable. But it's part of this work. So like, when I go in and I see my suffering friend, I feel some pain. But it's the pain of me caring about her. That's the pain it is. And that is joy. And then wondering whether I'm being helpful or not, that's uncomfortable. But that's part of the joy, is to realize, oh, that's what it's like when you're compassion, you don't say, well, here I am, I'm being helpful, and that's it. No questions, don't question me. And also I'm not going to question myself, and then we'll have it all, it'll be fine. That's not the way, that's not the way it goes.

[40:39]

That's not ethical. Ethical is not, I just did the right thing. I hope you people can catch on eventually. Ethical is, I tried to do the right thing, but I wonder if I did. And also, if by any chance you wonder if I did, I want to welcome you wondering too. Because I understand by the grace and kindness of the ancestors that that's part of the deal of realizing great compassion. Great compassion requires that we get questioned. And that we learn to say thank you when we're questioned. And also when I question myself, that I say thank you. Oh, looks like compassion is working because I have questions about my conduct. And it's okay to ask your friends, but it's not to get the answer

[41:41]

yes, you did the right thing, and then it's over. So it's okay to check, but more in the sense of having conversation rather than assuaging your doubts. Compassion is not trying to get rid of doubts. It's intimacy with all doubt. I might have doubts about my conduct. I might have doubts about others' conduct. Fine. Great compassion is the intimacy of all that. Yes? Yeah. A lot of terminology here. Yeah. Elated?

[42:56]

Oh, no, it's not that kind of joy. It's not elated. It's calm. It's like, you know, it's like being with a friend when they're dying. You're not exactly high, but you feel, and people often say, this is, this is my life. This is life. And I'm sorry that my friend had to die to wake me up to it. I'm sorry my friend has to suffer so much to help me find the way I always wanted to be. And I, it's such a joy, and it's a joy that's not elated. It's a joy that's really, it's grounded in my friend's suffering, my friend's difficulty. One time at Zen Center, one of our students is a very famous, terrible thing, was the son of the person

[44:02]

who wrote, have you ever heard the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? So, that man studied Zen, and his son came to Zen Center and practiced with us. And one night his son was walking just a block and a half from Zen Center, and some guys killed him. Just a block and a half from Zen Center. And so we, we went out there to where his body was and stood by his body, you know, while the police were doing their stuff and and they weren't rushing him off because he had died. And a person was standing next to me who, he had, he had drug addiction problems, this friend of mine, this friend of ours, and alcohol addiction problems. He couldn't, he had

[45:07]

a real hard time, like all of us, a really hard time being with suffering. Like we all do. It's challenging to be with suffering, right? It's hard. So he tried various little tricks, various drugs to try to help him deal with suffering. Rather than compassion, the way he tried compassion was the way he tried to care for himself with his suffering was those methods. That night he was not high. He was sober. And he was standing next to me. And he turned to me and he said, Why can't we always be like this? Like what? To stand next to

[46:07]

a murdered friend and not try to get away. Of course, not lean into it either. He was like able to be there with this horror. This is the way, why can't we always, why do you have to have a murder before you can like actually be there? It's, the way he was was the way he was always looking for. But drugs, you know, they take you a little too high. It's overdoing just being there. He was actually, I could just feel he was totally there with no assistance. He was like there. And that's the way he wanted to be in his life. And that's why he was a Zen student also. It's a joy to be able to be, if someone who you love is suffering, it's a joy to be able to be with them and not turn away. Like one time my teacher was,

[47:07]

had a gallbladder attack. And I was his attendant. We were traveling. And I was his attendant. And I was sitting next to him on the airplane and I, I could just feel how hard it was for me to sit next to my suffering teacher. I did, I felt bad that I couldn't, I didn't have the training and compassion to sit with the person, maybe most important person in my life, who I cared about the most, who invited me to be his attendant, now having this great pain, and I was having trouble just sitting there with him. I did not feel joy. During the moments from then on when he, his ensuing illness, when I could be with him, I felt, I felt such joy to be able to be with his suffering. And my nervousness and suffering being with his suffering. So it's that kind of joy. It's a joy that's like, just fills your body

[48:10]

with, this is what life's about. We're here to be together through thick and thin. And if somebody's an immature person and they're like bouncing off the ceiling, they're so high, we're here to catch them. And we feel joy that we're with these stoned people to help them not hurt themselves. Like, you know, I don't know if I understood the book correctly, but my understanding of the book Catcher in the Rye is that there's this guy a little bit more mature than the children who are playing in the rye, they're running around in the rye, but there's a cliff at the edge of the field and the catcher's standing at the edge to catch the children so they don't run off the cliff. That's my image of the story. And to do that job, to protect those children,

[49:10]

those crazy children, it's a joy to protect them and to be there for them. It's not, you're not as high as they are. You're not, but you feel a joy at protecting them and that it's your job. If you're a child, that's a different story. But now you're a protector and you're there and you feel a great joy to protect them from accidental death due to intoxication. It's that kind of joy. It's a calm, sustainable joy. And it's sustained not by holding on to it, but by continuing to practice compassion. Because our compassion is a little bit like this, the joy is a little bit like this. It can go into getting a little excited and falling off the cliff or getting depressed and banging your head on the wall

[50:11]

because we think we're not doing enough to help people. We're trying to find that balanced place which has this great, warm, enlightened joy. You're welcome. Thank you for your question. Yes? Did the friend who had that recognition that moment, did that change his life after that? Yeah, it did change it, but he still, what do you call it? What's the word? Relapsed. Because like he said, why can't we be like this? He wanted to continue to be like that, but he couldn't. Because you can't keep having people that you love being murdered. That's a big help actually. When somebody you love is dying, it's like a lot of people do quite well under those circumstances. Not everybody. Some people won't go anywhere near it because they don't want to be close

[51:14]

to the suffering that they would feel if they were near someone they love. And sometimes people even say, don't let them near me because they won't be able to practice compassion. Anyway, he did have good moments after that, yeah, I haven't seen him for a while, but that's where I'm telling you, that's where we're heading. We're all heading to that level of presence, and we're heading towards it being consistent. This is the path we're on. And then, when we're there, in a moment, then we have social action. When we lose it, we also have social action. We're trying to develop this consistent presence so that our social activity will be like standing right with our friends with joy and courage

[52:14]

and concentration and patience and spreading that even to our friend who just died, young Chris Persick, Robert Persick's boy. Just one observation, in the book, Catcher in the Rye, he was totally troubled and his curiousness and his fantasy, that's what he thought. Good point, yeah. He wasn't able to be the catcher in the rye. Yeah, he wanted to be the catcher in the rye. He needed a catcher in the rye. And I don't know if the author of that book ever found a catcher. This wonderful artist,

[53:17]

I don't know if he found a catcher to help him. To catch him from running away from being a catcher. He wanted to be a catcher, but he was actually more like the kids running in the fields. And he knew he needed a catcher and he wanted to be. We need a catcher, yes, and we want to be a catcher, yes. Both. And the conversation we're having is we are catching each other. You're catching me, I'm catching you. We're helping each other learn this. And so he didn't have a sangha. The author of that book didn't have a sangha. And then right after he got famous, which made more stuff around him, he had to go away from it because he couldn't cope. And he didn't go someplace where he had somebody to help him, as far as I know. Alan Watts was like that. He also had a real insight, but he couldn't,

[54:20]

he couldn't find a catcher. He couldn't accept that he needed a catcher, needed a sangha. So he, he's a great guy, and you know, he really helped the transmission of Buddhism to the West, but in the end he was an alcoholic. And he wasn't mean, but he harmed people with his alcoholism. He made one of his sons an alcoholic. He drank with his son. So, here's this guy with a great insight, but no teacher, no sangha. Very sad. We have a sangha though, right? We have a teacher, right? So we can, we can practice. And if we find that place that we've been looking for, we appreciate it, but then we have to continue to practice to find it again and again. And sometimes we get help by a sick friend, okay, that's nice,

[55:21]

but sometimes we get help from a friend who's avoiding their sickness. They have the sickness of avoiding their sickness. We have friends who have addiction problems. So again, being with them, finding a way to be with them, and then have the appropriate social response to them. Which might sometimes be, you're drinking, I'm leaving, see you later. I'll come back when you're sober, or I'll come back when you're in recovery. That can be your social action. That can come from great compassion. That can be part of the conversation. The thing is to remember, are you doing a conversation? Or are you trying to get things to go your way? It doesn't mean if you feel I'm in a conversation, the story's over. Just that's what you're looking for. Not you being the holder of all that's good. Yes? When someone's

[56:25]

form of suffering is trying to avoid suffering, and you see that and you're trying to be with this person who wants to avoid suffering, clearly your presence agitates them. It feels like it agitates that suffering. You're trying to be present in that moment with them. How can you be of help in that moment and still be there believing that your presence is agitating them? You mean if I'm with someone who seems agitated, and they seem to be having trouble accepting their agitation, and then I see that and then I come close to them in my unagitated way, and then they seem to be even more agitated when I arrive? And then can I be silent and still with my lack of agitation

[57:26]

and their agitation? Maybe I can. And can I be present with their increased agitation? Maybe I can. And can I be there totally with them no matter what they do? Maybe I can. And in fact, is that what's going on? Yes, it is. And can I appreciate it? Yes, I can. And can they wake up to it? Yes, they can. But sometimes a calm person makes an agitated person be more aware of their agitation. That can happen. And the calm person can then, you know, start looking agitated if they think that'll help the other person calm down. That's fine. So, again, if somebody's having a hard time and you show up and they seem to be having a harder time, it doesn't mean you're doing anything right or wrong. It's just that's what you have to deal with.

[58:28]

But sometimes agitated people don't get more agitated when the calm person shows up. Sometimes they go, Oh, thank you. Thank you for coming. Sometimes I call people on the telephone and leave a message on their answering machine and then later they say, Oh, it was so calming to hear your voice on the answering machine. Thank you so much for calling. Don't ever call again. I just want to listen to you. See you later. I don't want to talk to you. I want to just go listen to my hands. So I guess I feel like, you know, if somebody's agitated and I don't join their agitation, they might seem to be more agitated. But if I can be

[59:33]

present with all that agitation, I think it does get transmitted to them. And they sometimes calm down. Not by suppressing their agitation, because I'm not suppressing it, but by being with it, like I'm being with it. But again, it doesn't mean that sometimes it doesn't help to get a little agitated with the person and then once you've matched their agitation, then calm down and they'll come down with you. That can also be a method. There's a story of a Zen teacher who did that with a rat. With a rat. Yeah. Now, in this story, you could say he had an ulterior motive. He was sleeping and there was a rat in the ceiling. And he could feel the rat's energy level, which was, you know, rats have a high metabolism. They're busy beavers. And he sensed the rat's

[60:37]

heartbeat. And he elevated his heartbeat to match the rat's. That's cute. And then he lowered his heartbeat back towards normal and the rat's heartbeat came down with him. And when a rat has a heartbeat similar to that of a human, they go to sleep. So the rat went to sleep and then he can go to sleep. So, sometimes you can do it like that. Sometimes that's a good way. There's not a fixed, this conversation doesn't have a fixed form. It's not like, I'm calm and that's it and I'm not going to get agitated. You know, if you're agitated, you stay. I'm going to be calm. You might get agitated with them, but you're not doing it because you're agitated, you're doing it to have a conversation. And if you talk too slowly, you won't be able

[61:41]

to relate. So, of course, I often talk to you about a certain young lady who's now seven and she's like very high metabolism. And, you know, so I try to try to match hers because she's not going to slow down to mine. So I try to bring mine up to meet her and then still even though mine gets somewhat in her neighborhood, there's this other thing about me that's there too which she can feel in the background of matching her energy level is this other thing which, you know, she's learning from. Conversation is where it's at. Not like, I'm this way, you're that way, and you should be this way. It's more like, I'm this way, you're that way, and let's start, see if we can find a conversation. In the conversation, we will realize great compassion.

[62:42]

But it takes a while maybe to kind of tune into the conversation. Even though we might be talking, we might not be attuned right at the beginning, right? So that's where the silence and stillness helps us attune to the other person's energy level, but in order to attune to theirs, I need to know what mine is. So I'm aware on both sides to try to have this meeting. Not to have it, not to have it, to wake up to it. It's already there. Great compassion.

[63:47]

Is the teaching about just being aware of it? That type of practicing, is it similar anywhere? Could you say it again? Yeah, I will say it again. Is the teaching about great compassion about being aware of the great compassion than practicing it? I think it's the teaching the teaching of great compassion is one aspect of it is that it's a conversation. It's not visible. It's our invisible relationship. So I have a visible relationship with you. I can see my hand and your face. I can see you nod. I saw you blink. That's part of our relationship.

[64:50]

But much more is going on in our relationship than I can see and than you can see. Like I just heard the other night that in a second we have like 40 cognitive events in a second in our consciousness where I'm here but in our unconscious processes there's 11 million. So in a second you and I are having I'm not just having 11 million with you I'm having 11 million with the whole universe but both of us are very incredibly, inconceivably alive in a way that's beyond our little conscious world. So that intimacy is the way you and I are together with everybody. That's great compassion. So I listen to the teachings of great compassion. So listening to the teachings is part of it.

[65:54]

Remembering the teaching is part of it. I can't be aware of it other than thinking about some small stories about it in my mind. Aware consciously. But unconsciously I am aware of it. I'm already there doing it. I'm trying to wake up to that by remembering consciously that we include each other and our relationship includes everybody. And our relationship isn't included in everybody's relationship. That's a teaching which I remember. And then I try to act in a way in accord with that. Which would be things like respecting you. Which means like look at you when I see you, okay. But then there's this visible person

[66:55]

and then wait a minute, who is actually there? Respecting goes with great compassion. Not thinking that what's in my head is better or worse than what's in your head. Although that thought might be there, that thought isn't better or worse than what's in your head. If I think that way, I kind of am not really in a conversation. So these are the ways that I would practice remembering and checking my karma, my action in accord with those teachings. Do you have any questions? We do. I noticed this week that I was really anxious, not anxious, but panicked about how my activity level and my brain was going to pass. And you just had asked me about seeing the stillness

[67:57]

in each moment. And I felt like I was not doing that. But I also felt that somehow, having had that vision, I was kind of wild, aware of what was being prevented. But so much action and work to do. Well, there's one adjustment in the teaching is the stillness we're talking about is a stillness you remember and receive, but you can't see it. You can practice it, but you can't see it. The stillness that you can see, like if somebody comes in here in the first half an hour of this session, they say, oh, those people are sitting still. I can see they're sitting still. But as I think, was it Mike or Nata said, but actually even when we're sitting here, we're actually moving. Moment by moment we change. But in each moment we're still.

[68:59]

But we can't see that. You know, your eye has to move in order to see something. You know, in order to stimulate the retina, your eye has to move a little bit for the light to turn on the nerve in the back of the retina. So we see by movement. So we can't see stillness. But we can understand that it's reality, that we're always where we are and we're not someplace else. We can remember that. And remembering that makes frenetic, hysterical activity all the more wonderful. It's alive. It's living. It's life. And stillness makes it possible to appreciate it. I mean, remembering stillness and practicing it, you can appreciate hysteria. But forgetting it

[70:02]

and just being in hysteria without remembering stillness, it can be something you might want to run away from. Hysterics often want to run away from hysteria. And obsessive compulsives almost like to get, you know, they're obsessive about their obsessions. So they want to keep everything the same and the hysterics want to... But both are so beautiful in stillness and silence. That's where great compassion is, where we realize the beauty of life, even when it's hysterical, anxious, frightened, confused. It's still inconceivably, invisibly, invisibly beautiful. Overwhelmingly beautiful. That's what's realized in great compassion,

[71:05]

which then encourages us to continue the practice. So again, I pray that the assembly remembers stillness and silence and enjoys great compassion, which is living there non-stop. Non-stop. We stop the non-stop.

[71:40]

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