Sunday which won't be dedicated to recollection and to silence. The life of the monk is not nowadays usually in the course of the day not dedicated to that but here and there we need a special day in which we now that we really concentrate on that recollection. I would recommend to you very much that this Sunday's The theme should be silence, really silence, so no visits in cells, nothing should completely keep in silence, which really has a positive inner meaning. It is the lifting up of the gates that the kingdom of glory may enter in.

[01:06]

This whole Advent season really rewards us to enter into that side. We hear today in the Gospel that there's the chosen people, they have received the promise, then there are the Gentiles, they haven't received anything, no word. It is their vocation simply and only to rely on the mercy of God and nothing else. And that is one aspect of silence. It really behooves those who know that before God they are Gentiles. That means that they have no claim whatsoever. That their only hope is, but that is worse, a true and a sure hope is the mercy of God and nothing else.

[02:15]

The silence signifies just that, that we have no claim. Man feels impaired to talk. It's usually for that reason that he wants to argue and then disclaim that he wants to be right. He wants to justify himself in one way or the other. Silence is resign and renounce. That is why our Lord worked the work of salvation in silence. He was sent through the slaughter as a lamb, silent, did not open his mouth. And that is the beginning of all conversion. That is the way in which we then enable God to work His work of salvation in us.

[03:23]

Silence is really the opening of the gates that the King of Glory may enter in. There's other meanings also this silence. It is the willingness on our side to be led by God wherever He wants to lead us. It's an act really not only of opening ourselves, but it's also an act of obedience. It's an act of humility. Silence is the realization that we are before God that we are dust and ashes and therefore it is not given to us to prepare in any way the ways of salvation or to follow our own will the words that we speak is

[04:41]

utterance of our own will of that those things that are in us of our nature Saint Benedict warns against talking because he says in much talking you simply cannot escape sin cannot escape sin because The talking is an expression of all those things that are in us, that are uttered before we control it, before we really weigh it. I think everybody who observes himself in these situations where the talking is going on, he realizes that before he knows it, he has said things which are simply the expression of somehow the inner chaos that is in every one of us.

[06:00]

We cannot avoid it. It's simply in us that much of our talking And much talking is beyond our control. We are not made that way. We give ourselves to that expression of ourselves, then we, before we know it, we communicate not only what is good in us, but what is bad in us, what is uncontrolled, what really belongs to the bad urge in us. So much of our talking is evoked and is motivated by resentment of one kind or the other, by criticism, by lack of gratitude, by superficiality, playing around with things in vanity.

[07:01]

So often the word we speak is the mirror of our own vanity. Therefore, we should, for that reason too, we should really descend into the depth of silence gladly because it opens to us our better and deeper self The presence of God in us amounts that silence. Wherever we want, we prepare ourselves for the manifestation of God. Silence is the way to do it. The whole earth was silent before it. So silence is that great virtue also which not only our Lord showed to us when he worked our salvation on the cross, but also the virtue that our Lady showed to us.

[08:12]

She is the one who, through her silence, through the obedient receiving of the words that were sent to her, she worked our salvation. I would say that silence is really the deepest act of any kind of contemplative life, because there we resign, we do away with an undue eagerness to make ourselves heard, that God may speak in us. So let us really do that. Silence is the beginning of a conversion. Deus tu conversus vivificabistus. We have that today in the offertory. song sang they used to converse God you turn us that you will give us life and then your people will rejoice but they used to converse

[09:31]

God himself turned, and that was, we have spoken about that so often on the cross, that's the silence of the cross. They use two converses, . And that way he gave life to us. And that is the way in which your people shall rejoice. And we should... If a day like this, the first Sunday, the second Sunday of Advent, is devoted to silence, let us take that also in this sense, that it is the silence, the real access to real joy, and to the joy of the people. That means to common joy, the rejoicing of the people. We have always, as a community, and from the very first beginnings of Monserio, we have always a great longing to look forward to that.

[10:41]

We have tried to move, develop in that direction. And the community as such, in being together, to be a people that rejoices. The joy, the real joy in Christ, we know that so well, is not a matter of the individual being satisfied in personal desires. Joy really doesn't come from that. Everybody in a community or everybody in a country, wherever it is, would be personally and as an individual left without reason for complaint. In other words, that joy is not the result, I mean the joy of the community, is not the result of every individual having his way.

[11:49]

We know that, we know that from our experience. We have faced that in the past, we are facing it today. This very moment. If everybody in the community has this way, that doesn't mean that the whole in the end would be happy, that the people as such would rejoice. It's just not the case. Just think about it. Think about it. It doesn't come out of it. But the... The root, really, and the foundation of the joy of the community as such is that every individual returns into that nothingness out of which then God can create the new man.

[12:54]

And it is then this new man which is essentially interior and deeply Open to the other one. There we are open to one. There are simply, there are two, we know it, there are two layers. There is the one layer of the fallen nature and in this fallen nature everybody lives in his own shell, tries in that way to live in his own shell and to preserve himself against any attacks from the outside. So he is in that defensive attitude. He doesn't want to be, for example, doesn't want to be corrected. Takes that always with resentment. That is, if on that layer, you cannot, one cannot come to a community, and one cannot come to joy in a community.

[14:00]

It's impossible. Every body has to, every little individual grain has to be thrown into a mill between the millstones. And there has to be, the shell has to be ground. And then a new possibility of mutual, of fusion then arises. So if we want to be happy and rejoice as a community, as a whole, everybody, first of all, has to be set and has to be willing to humble himself completely unto death until I'm a worm and not now. I'm a beast before you. That's the only way. through which we can come to a new relation and a new rejoicing in one another.

[15:04]

And again, that is, of course, the meaning of silence. Therefore, if today we say now we dedicate this day of recollection to silence, That, of course, doesn't mean that we would give up or lose sight of our goal to live our community life as a people rejoicing in God. Because joy, as you know, really is a matter of communication. Joy is a matter of sharing. sharing multiplies joy and joy without sharing with us so we don't lose sight of that it's really our goal is a joyful people rejoicing in God and therefore sharing also this joy and that is the reason why in our life we cannot

[16:19]

insist on simply absolute silence and on reducing communication, let's say, to silence. We don't do that. We don't understand the rule in that way. Of course, what we tend to is sharing, also sharing between and with one another. But the good things of Christ not the things of the old man, the good things of Christ. And for that it is necessary simply as the way in which man is built. We simply have to have certain times, let us say a certain day like today, where we really enter into absolute silence. As I say, not to give up the idea of sharing, but to make the sharing deeper.

[17:25]

To help the sharing that it can come out of the one true source, and that is the Deus conversus, God who turned around, Christ. Him we rejoin in silence. We join Christ when he goes in that complete silence. to the cross not defending himself but why to to to lift up the gates of his own soul that the father of glory may enter into the entire world to to mankind and then make us a happy people So let us do that, let us set apart this day for that complete inner silence, a silence which forces the individual to meet his own nothingness, but for what reason?

[18:29]

That he then may put all his hope in God, that he may meet the mercy of God. That's the meaning of silence. At this meeting, the mercy of God, and then being recreated by that mercy of God, that then also opens to us when we are all children of the same heavenly Father. Then we are really a family. But as children of the devil, we cannot be a family. We only fight one another. And therefore let us do that. Let's keep this silence as the first and basic step of our part to enter into that fellowship with our Lord who on the cross turned to us to make us a happy people rejoicing in the mercy of God.

[19:34]

He was looking for a kind of a key word for a meditation which would be useful for us on this day. It was sent by Adam of Perseus. Spiritus Fictionis. spiritus fiction spirit of fiction that is a very important topic really the spirit of fiction and that is in a monastic life a great danger that we all victim to the spiritual pictures and what we have to do and also on a day like this of recollection what does it mean recollection means the confrontation of us as individuals with the divine truth that's recollection and

[21:01]

That means, of course, that we try as best as we can to counteract the innate spiritus fictionis which is in us as free human beings who have been created in the image and likeness of God and then are confronted with a basic decision. Free human beings, free limited beings created in the image and likeness of God. They are really faced then with the decision either to, in the spirit of truth, in the spirit of divine will and divine order, freely to admit and to consent to the fact that there are creatures, that there are before God nothing.

[22:08]

And this free consent to our, let us say, creature-ness, the Old Testament calls that really the fear of the Lord, fear of God. That is the free acknowledgement that we are created in the image and likeness of God. And in doing that, accepting it and saying our yes, then we really constitute in us the image and likeness of God. When we refuse, to acknowledge it and try to make ourselves gods, then we fall inevitably into the spiritus fictions. And that's at the root of all the spirit of fiction is pride.

[23:12]

I was just reading the other day in the sayings of the Chassidim, a word that belongs to this topic. The rabbi of Lublin said, I love the wicked man who knows he is wicked more than the righteous man who knows he is righteous. But concerning the wicked who consider themselves righteous, it is said, they do not turn even on the threshold of hell, for they think they are being sent to hell to redeem the souls of others. Yes, we may laugh about it, but not ourselves, because that's exactly what we are in great danger to think. all the time.

[24:17]

We are certainly, you know, we are wicked down into the very root of our people. So, we get always in this great danger to consider ourselves righteous. And that is, of course, on the level of fallen nature, the same as what we just talked about before. this initial decision, you know, are we creatures in the eyes of God or are we gods out of ourselves? That's exactly what it is. So we are in this danger, you know, that we still are being sent to hell, we think now it is, in order to save the souls of others. Apocultis meis mundame. from the things that are hidden to me, cleanse me, O Lord.

[25:20]

It struck me so much in today's reading there, in this article, it was said, you know, that apokultismes muddhame, that means of the things that are under, beneath even, let us say, the level of consciousness. Apokultismes muddhame. And it's so very true that on the level of the unconscious, there are deepest, still deepest tendencies and perverted tendencies. That shows how far we are being wounded through the spirit of pride, how far it goes. And the way in order to to reach into the level of the unconscious, of course, humility. Humility is the only way to reach down into that. But this humility and the humility, of course, of the monk is an absolute one.

[26:23]

It's really an absolute one. It's like the... Humility is like a dip. So, death which is, of course, in itself, death is the highest act of life. It's the highest act of life. I mean, not death in the physical sense, but death in the sense in which we accept it, in which we meet it. as creators in the image and likeness of God, as human beings of the highest decision. So true what St John of Damascene always says, and St Thomas takes that up as a theme. He says, What to man is death? that to the angel is the fall.

[27:29]

It's very true. The death is that highest inner decision to accept our creatureness and our nothingness, and by that we need to be, let's say, created in the image and likeness of God. Or not to accept it is the cause, that is the fall. One is the intonation, the other one is the form. And that's the whole distinction between fiction and truth. It struck me so much in Egypt, in the museum there in Cairo. I think I mentioned it before. There is a very significant presentation of the death, of human death. Of course, that's all... The Egyptian religion was a religion of life, a continuation of life, even though as mummies, you know, that was the fatal fiction.

[28:34]

But the presentation was this man, the die, the deceased, presented in the attitude of lifting up his hands. The lifting of one's hands is the basic gesture by which somebody who is conquered delivers himself, recognises it, delivers himself into the mercy of his enemies. That is like if somebody comes and puts his pistol in someone's back and says, And this hands up, of course, in that moment, he cannot handle any weapons. He is in the hands of the one who asks him to do so. Of course, for man, it's the moment of death.

[29:38]

That is our hands up. There we have to hold up our hands. That means we are in that moment, we are defenseless. We give up all defending. We give up, you know, all claims whatsoever. And so, of course, that basic decision which meets everybody at the moment of his bodily death, because there everything has to be left. We have to hold up our hands. And then, as in this Egyptian representation then, then the guard takes it. He holds up his hands and then the God takes him and brings him to that boat that then leads him to the other shore, the shore of the eternal life. And there, of course, that death, you know, really one can say is the underlying, is the, one can say, the a priori of the human life, death.

[30:50]

Our life has to be lived under the sign of death, not out of any pessimism, but out of realism. It's the best way of obviating the spirit of fiction, because it's the spirit of fiction which wants to get around this answer. It doesn't want to. to really agree to this last surrender. And as long as we don't agree to this last surrender, we are trying to escape our creatures. We are trying to escape this final liberating decision. And humility is, of course, the preparation for death. Because every act of humility is hands up, is putting down all weapons, not defending oneself, but giving oneself into the hands of the mercy of God.

[32:06]

And of course this humility as such you can see that in the rule because the rule is of course also can be understood only under the a priori of death. The rule in monastic life is really a constantly anticipated death. We must start, therefore, and must go back all the time to this surrender, to this complete inner annihilation, a conscious way, a way of our will, to accept this position. We are not through ourselves and for ourselves, but we are by God, for God. therefore have to surrender into the hands of the one who alone can put us into the boat that carries us over the floods of death into the eternal life.

[33:14]

That's humility. And you can see that clearly, that humility in the rule of Saint Benedict and the humility of the monk is not conditional. It's unconditional. It's not, yeah, I'm humble to a certain point. And some people, of course, in their struggle with these problems, and sometimes even maybe guided by a spirit, oh, I don't want to be hypocritical, you see. I want the truth. Therefore, humility, yes, but to a certain point. But humility has that, monastic humility at least, I mean that humility which is practiced under the vows, the vow of obedience, the vow of stability, the vow of conversion of morals, that humility is practiced in the spirit of this, our freely accepted death.

[34:17]

because that is what the profession, what the vows of the monk means, a freely accepted death. But you see, death is in itself unconditional. It's impotent. It's complete. And therefore also all these various steps and ways in which we die are absent. Obedience, which is a surrender, is for the monk is absolute. It's a surrendering into the hands of mercy. And it doesn't hold, doesn't make, it doesn't stop, you know, even in front of injustices. It doesn't stop. See, people in the world may say, yes, humility is fine, but to a certain point. And now, really, I have to stand up for my true value and honor and so on, or something like that.

[35:20]

I can't simply allow myself to be thrown away. See, that comes on this kind of condition. But the monastic obedience, in that way, is inconditional. And the same, also, humility. If we have done that so often, we are constantly, I mean, doing that, the wrongs of humility include, I'm a worm and I'm not man. And that is, of course, is that is absolute humility. And that absolute humility alone leads us into freedom. there is then a liberation. Because there we cannot, you know, if our salvation is a new creation on the part of God, we cannot kind of stand before him and say, yes, no, but of course only that far, because up to this point everything is fine.

[36:28]

But then maybe from that point on, yes, I need a little correction or so. It's really absolute, just as baptism is absolute. But, of course, it's always into the hands of the living God. It's into the hands of the divine justice. But with man it is simply so. We don't know our own number. And because we don't know our own number, therefore, we have to start with zero. It's logical. It's inescapable. You cannot do it otherwise. And then, if that is really done, if we come to what we call the zero point, zero point of humility, then a new creation can start. I don't say, you see, that this zero point is a metaphysical zero point, or a metaphysical annihilation.

[37:35]

It's of course not true, because we are always, we remain man, and therefore we are also redeemed, we are redeemed as human beings. We are not created into another category. That's not true. We are man. Therefore, also, man is by this act of zero point, of complete surrender to God, man is not destroyed. It's the deepest nature of man. It's not physical, but it's moral. Humility is a moral act. It's not suicide in the physical sense. But it is really, in that way, suicide. It is really, I before you, I am dust and ashes. And that is the basic gesture of the monastic life. And to that, we have to come back, always, into all circumstances.

[38:38]

And every act of obedience, every act of humility, every act of listening to any spiritual direction always must be must be done in that spirit otherwise it reaches it to a certain point it may then induce us to correct this or that fault it doesn't go into the center so That is the first, you know, we have to counteract the spirit of fiction by this inner absolute personal humility. But then, of course, the monastic life is devised in other ways to obviate the spirit of fiction. It brings us into the community. into contact with other people and there is another thing which again you know is and prevents us or is a good means of to get out you know of the spirit of fiction and that is

[39:47]

the love and the relation to other people, to those who are our brethren in Christ, because there we meet with realities which is not made by us, you know, but still because it's human beings and because they are brethren deeply related to us, deeply related. It's a greater reality for us then to meet plants, you know, and to meet animals, because with plants we can always, you know, do a lot with the spirit of fiction. We take a nice leaf, you know, and we can put it, you know, nice together with a nice flower, and we can make bouquets, you know, and it all is in that way, it's a spirit of fiction. I don't know. I don't, of course, say that nobody should name bouquets. We can make of flowers much more than they are, and we can make of them something, you see, that is on our level, expression, symbols, all kinds of things.

[40:52]

Very good. Then is the animals, too. For example, they're having pets. It's a spirit of fiction. put some nice silk thing around animals' necks, cage and then have them, everything nice, you know, put a little piece of salad into it. It's all spiritual. We are together with others, you see, and not on our terms. For example, of course, if I'm the master and the other one is my servant or something like that, or paid employee, now that is a spirit of fiction to play the pre-run, and the lawyer has to be satisfied with what does it want to be fired.

[41:53]

But, of course, with Weyblen it's different, you know, because we meet them on equal terms. That's the important thing. If you meet them on equal terms, then, of course, there's much less of a chance to fall victim to the spirit of fiction. But unfortunately, just the lack sometimes of humility or efforts, you know, assumption or building up of one's own position, to say the position of senior or the position of priest or whatever, that matter also sometimes as a laborer, you know, which build up a high role. I've seen that too. So that is to prevent. But I mean, of course, the more classes there are, the more possibilities of thrones are there. Far or far below. But that's the reason why we don't like it, you know.

[42:56]

It's really to prevent the spirit of fiction. See, that's it. To meet the other one, not on my terms, but on his terms. That's the important thing. And then, in that way, be reminded of this basic thing, see, that this here meeting the other one, the brother, really on his terms, not on my terms. That is, of course, then, you see, that pierces and that counteracts the spirit of fiction which can creep into the practice of religion, and all the time does, because then John says here, nobody has ever seen God. Therefore, one can easily say, I love God. I love what I don't see. And there is, of course, the great danger that I love my own dreams.

[43:59]

That I love somehow the projection into the infinite and into the divine of really of myself. In other words, in religion, there is always that danger present that it turns into idolatry. That it is practiced in the form of idolatry. And that's with Christianity too. No guarantee against it. But that is, of course, and therefore St. John says, you know, how can you say you love God whom you have not seen if you don't love your brother whom you see? Because there, on that seeing the other, see, that's a test of reality. That is a medicine against the spirit of fiction. Because also, as we have seen so often, you know, this Famous thinkers. I love mankind. I love the millions.

[45:02]

But God save me if all the people are just here around me, standing. That's fiction here. See, it's escape. That, therefore, in the monastic life is the common life, vita communis, which in that way prevents us from falling victim to the spirit of fiction. And that's also then in the last thing, that is, in the fact, you know, that the life of the rule of Saint Benedict provides that everybody and every monk, you know, too, is in service of manual labor. Manual labor, again, you see, is an antidote to the spirit of fiction. See, the danger is much greater there where the human brain is left with itself.

[46:10]

That's an enormous room for the spirit of fiction. Because I can read about love and my heart just is all in the book. But again, you see, then, when the real demand of love comes, that is a complete difference. So by reading about things, I'm always induced, in a very subtle way, to think that I am what I read. That's always with all the others, the entire mental activity. See, in the mental activity, man, for that matter, doesn't meet reality so completely, or I would say this way, one must, of course, consider the whole reality of man, and the reality of man is also partly, is also in the brain. Sure, we should use it, you know, but... to use one thing and not the other thing.

[47:12]

That leads us then into the sphere of affection. That is the importance of, again, the whole setup. You must always remember, if we have a day of recollection like this, we should always think now that our basic question on a day like this is, what does God want of us? What does God want? what is really, what is, what is the meaning of our living together under the auspices of the rule of Saint Benedict in the whole cosmos, the economy of the Christian life, the Church of God. That's what we have to ask ourselves. And in order to Remember that we must go back to the origins. What are the original ideas of our foundation?

[48:13]

Of course, it's exactly this. First of all, what we had in mind in founding the community was the escape of the spirit of fiction by the deliberate practicing of that inner coming to the zero point, but as the point where we enter into the freedom and the peace of Christ. We wanted to start this as the whole meaning of the school. The whole meaning of the school is we turn into the peace of Christ. That means, in absolute humility, this inner surrender, hands up to the one who then embraces us and leads us and gives us the kiss of peace and gives us a new spirit. That is simply a way of practicing every day the basic spirit of the vows. this inner, that sleep which man needs in order to gain a new vision.

[49:23]

It's an inner law even of our natural existence, but, of course, in a much deeper way of our spiritual existence. But that is the one thing. And to practise that in a certain way, because it is an art, and it cannot be done at random, but it has to be done deliberately, consciously, over again, and over again, and over again. That is the inner, you see. Therefore, the whole thing was thought, and that's, of course, the idea of the world, it begins from within, from this individual dying, and, of course, rising. And then it goes into the community, and in the communities that what we had in mind always to reduce to a minimum these external possibilities of here choir monk or priest monk there lay brother and so on all these categories you see were so easily then everybody can make his own little fiction and instead of that no you see

[50:32]

consider us all and altogether as a mouse. Therefore, in that same boat, I am a worm and not a man. And in that way, then, really meet one another and everyone in that inner spirit of love, brotherly love, which is the realization of our love of God. So that we evade the spirit of fiction, which so easily can end a man if he thinks the contemplative life is a going away from it all and be alone with God. Right from the start. And then the other, the other, one is then, or the other idea on Savior was, of course, also, and that in some way belongs into this thing, that we never wanted to be a self-sufficient community in that way that you have nothing to do with the surrounding world.

[51:37]

That's, of course, also very, very necessary. I mean, we have always, from the beginning, And it is in order to counteract the spirit of fiction in the religious life that when guests come, we receive them, we welcome them. We don't consider every guest as a diabolic distraction, interference. But no, here there is a yes has to be spoken, a situation has to be met, and so on. That's against, it's against the spirit of fiction. But then that extends then to the whole world of work. That means our contact with the material world. Our step contact with the material world is the other way to counteract fiction. We are not angels. But we are, as human beings, we are part of this cosmos.

[52:38]

And that is, God wants that. He wants us to be part of this world. And this world is a material world. And therefore, we have to take, in a positive, constructive way, we have to take our place in it. That is why he always said to us, work and manual labor is not simply a matter of economical convenience. make the most of money with the least of effort or something. I mean, that's not a question, of course, I know. But to consider manual labour in the context of this, our monastic love, this preoccupation to avoid fiction. And there, to my mind, you don't see our whole set up here. That's what we started with. We started with several hundred acres of land. And that is our endowment. But we have said from the right, from the beginning, we cannot simply let it go.

[53:43]

Imagine if we had not done a thing, you see, during these 11 years about the fields and the things around us, and would just have said, now we live on what people give us, and then we let go of the fields, we let go into brush or wood or something like that. It would be a terrible situation, you see, to look at it now. But thank God it hasn't happened that way, you see, and the fields are fields. and they are being worked, and they are counts. Of course, we have heard that very often. It's much better to spend one's time on candidates for the priesthood than on counts. Now, there again, I mean, we have thought about these things again and again. It is, of course, very important to remind ourselves of this. that there we meet a world, and that is the world, of course, of the animal, of the domestic animal, which in one way forms part in some way of the human family, but on the other hand, of course, it's quite different.

[54:56]

But there is a constant demand, a constant demand of attention. There's also a constant demand of care. and of love, all of these things which are there. And that, I think, is so important to counteract the spirit of fiction, to cut loose from the simple day-by-day obligations of life. Instead of that, withdraw into a dream world, which then is, of course, in our dreams, always completely devoted to God, provided there is not too much interference on the outside. And that is, you see, that is, in our old setup, that is absolutely essential, at least here, as we are here, at this place. And, of course, you know very well that

[55:58]

The law which is imposed upon a community in a Benedictine system is the law of the place. It's not an abstract law, it's the law of the place. And for us, therefore, I think that is of great importance. The contact, you know, just the contact, for example, the faun block as such and all that, which in the future will still crystallise about it because it branches out into various things, you know, beams and trees and all kinds of things. But there is the meeting again reality because there you cannot we cannot fumble around you cannot make big bubbles out of soap or so on it's impossible because there in that whole line things have to be done and they have to be done with they have to be done faithfully and one cannot simply say oh my I don't feel like knitting the castles

[57:09]

I cannot say that. There it has to be done. And it's good, it's wholesome for the whole and for the whole of the community because they all take a part in it and to counteract the spirit of fiction. So let us make that one of our considerations, you know, how a monastic life, just our life here, non-savior, how we reach the true God and counter at all those fictions which in last analysis have their root in human pride, not wanting to accept our condition as creatures, but rather make ourselves, you know, into gods, and then, of course, adore Sunday which might be dedicated to recollection and to silence but that's the life of the monk is not nowadays in usually in the course of the day not dedicated to that but here and there we need a special day in which we

[58:44]

now in which we really concentrate on that recollection. I would recommend to you very much that this Sunday's The theme should be silence, really silence, so no visits in cells, nothing. We should completely keep in silence, which really has a positive inner meaning. It is the lifting up of the gates that the Kingdom of Glory may enter in. This whole Advent season really wants us to enter into that silence. We hear today in the Gospel that there's the chosen people, they have received the promise, then there are the Gentiles, they haven't received anything, no word,

[59:54]

It is their vocation simply and only to rely on the mercy of God, and nothing else. And that is one aspect of silence. It really behooves those who know that before God they are Gentiles. That means that they have no claim whatsoever. That their only hope is, but that is worse, their true and sure hope is the mercy of God and nothing else. The silence signifies just that, that we have no claim. Man feels compelled to talk. It's usually for that reason that he wants to argue and defend his claim that he wants to be right.

[60:58]

He wants to justify himself in one way or the other. Silence is resign and renounce. That is why our Lord worked the work of salvation in silence. He was sent through the slaughter as a lamb, silent, did not open his mouth. And that is the beginning of all conversion. That is the way in which we then enable God to work his work of salvation Silence is really the opening of the gates that the King of Glory may enter in. There's other meanings also of this silence.

[62:00]

It is the willingness on our side to be led by God wherever He wants to lead us. It's an act really not only of opening ourselves, but it's also an act of obedience. It's an act of humility. Silence is the realization that we are before God, that we are dust and ashes. And therefore it is not given to us to prepare in any way the ways of salvation or to follow our own will. The words that we speak is the utterance of our own will and those things that are in us of our nature.

[63:09]

Saint Benedict warns against talking because he says in much talking you simply cannot escape sin cannot escape sin because the talking is an expression of all those things that are in us and that say are uttered before we control it, before we really weigh it. I think everybody who observes himself in these situations where the talking is going on, he realizes that before he knows it, He has set things which are simply the expression of the inner chaos that is in every one of us.

[64:18]

We cannot avoid it. It is simply in us and much of our talking is beyond our control. made that way we give ourselves to that expression of ourselves then we before we know it we communicate not only what is good in us but what is bad in us what is uncontrolled what really belongs to the bad urge in us So much of our talking is evoked and is motivated by resentment of one kind or the other, by criticism, by lack of gratitude, by superficiality, playing around with things in vanity.

[65:20]

So often the word we speak is the mirror of our own vanity. Therefore, we should, for that reason too, we should really descend into the depth of silence gladly because it opens to us our better and deeper self The presence of God in us demands that silence. Wherever we want, we prepare ourselves for the manifestation of God. Silence is the way to do it. The whole earth was silent before him. So silence is that great virtue also which not only our Lord showed to us when he worked our salvation on the cross, but also the virtue that Our Lady showed to us.

[66:30]

She is the one who, through her silence, through the obedient receiving of the words that were sent to her, she worked our salvation. I would say that silence is really the deepest act of any kind of contemplative life, because there we resign, we do away with an undue eagerness to make ourselves heard, that God may speak in us. So let us really do that. Silence is the beginning of a conversion. Deus tu conversus vivificabistus. We have that today in the offertory. So sang Deus tu conversus vivificatis.

[67:35]

God, you turn us, and you will give us life, and then your people will rejoice. Deus tu conversus vivificatis. God himself turned, and that was, we have spoken about that so often on the cross, that's the silence of the cross. They use two converses, viviti caris nos, and that way he gave life to us. And that is the way in which your people shall rejoice. And we should... If a day like this, the first Sunday, the second Sunday of Advent, is devoted to silence, let us take that also in this sense, that it is the silence, the real access to real joy, and to the joy of the people.

[68:39]

That means to call it joy, the rejoicing of the people, We have always, as a community, and from the very first beginnings of Monseria, we have always, with great belonging, looked forward to that. We have tried to move, develop in that direction, that the community as such, in their being together, would be a people that rejoices, The joy, the real joy in Christ, we know that so well, is not a matter of the individual being satisfied in personal desires. Joy really doesn't come from that. Everybody in a community or everybody in a country, wherever it is,

[69:45]

would be personally and as an individual left without reason for complaint. In other words, that joy is not the result, I mean the joy of the community, is not the result of every individual having his way. We know that. We know that from our experience. We have faced that in the past. We are facing it today, this very moment. If everybody in the community has this way, that doesn't mean that the whole in the end would be happy, that the people as such would rejoice. It's just not the case. Just think about it. Think about it. It just doesn't come out of it.

[70:47]

But the root, really, and the foundation of the joy of the community as such is that every individual returns into that nothingness. out of which then god can create the new man and it is then this new man which is essentially interiorly deeply opened to the other one there we are open to one yeah there are simply there are two we know it there are two layers there's the one A layer of the fallen nature and in this fallen nature everybody lives in his own shell, tries in that way to live in his own shell and to preserve himself against any attacks from the outside.

[71:52]

So he is in that defensive attitude. He doesn't want to be, for example, doesn't want to be corrected. Takes that always with resentment. That is, if on that layer, you cannot, one cannot come to a community, and one cannot come to joy in a community. It's impossible. Every body has to, every little individual grain has to be thrown into a mill between the mill stones. And there has to be, the shell has to be ground. And then a new possibility of mutual, of fusion then arises. So if we want to be happy and rejoice as a community, as a whole, everybody, first of all, has to be set and has to be willing to humble himself completely unto death.

[73:04]

Until I'm a worm and not now. I'm a beast before you. That's the only way. through which we can come to a new relation and a new rejoicing in one another. And again, that is of course the meaning of silence. Therefore, if today we say now we dedicate this day of recollection to silence, That, of course, doesn't mean that we would in that way give up or lose sight of our goal to live our community life as a people rejoicing in God. Because joy, as you know, really is a matter of communication. Joy is a matter of sharing.

[74:07]

Sharing multiplies joy, and joy without sharing with us. So we don't lose sight of that. It's really our goal is a joyful people rejoicing in God, and therefore sharing also this joy. And that is the reason why in our life we do not insist on simply absolute silence and on reducing communication, let's say, to silence. We don't do that. We don't understand the rule in that way. Of course, what we tend to is sharing also, sharing between and with one another. but the good things of Christ, not the things of the old man, the good things of Christ.

[75:12]

And for that it is necessary simply as the way in which man is built. We simply have to have certain times, let us say a certain day like today, may we really enter into absolute silence. As I say, not to give up the idea of sharing, but to make the sharing deeper, to help the sharing, and it can come out of the one true source, and that is the Deus conversus, God who turned around with Christ. Him we rejoin in silence. We join Christ when he goes in that complete silence to the cross, not defending himself. But why? To lift up the gates of his own soul that the Father of glory may enter into the entire world, to mankind.

[76:23]

and then make us a happy people. So let us do that. Let us set apart this day for that complete inner silence, a silence which forces the individual to meet his own nothingness, but for what reason? That he then may put all his hope in God, that he may meet the mercy of God, That's the meaning of silence. At this meeting, the mercy of God, and then being recreated by that mercy of God, that then also opens to us when we are all children of the same heavenly Father. Then we are really a family. But as children of the devil, we cannot be a family. We only fight one another.

[77:26]

And therefore let us do that. Let's keep this silence as the first basic step on our part to enter into that fellowship with our Lord who on the cross turned to us to make us a happy people rejoicing in the mercy of God. He was looking for a kind of a, let's say, a key word for a meditation which would be useful for us in this day It was said by Adam, let's say, Spiritus Fictionis

[78:36]

spiritus fictio, the spirit of fiction that is a very important topic really the spirit of fiction and that is in the monastic life a great danger that we fall victim to the spiritus fictio and what we have to do, and also on a day like this of recollection. What does it mean? Recollection means the confrontation of us as individuals with the divine truth. That's recollection. That means, of course, that we try as best as we can to counteract the innate spiritus fictionis which is in us as free human beings who have been created in the image and likeness of God

[79:45]

and then are confronted with a basic decision. Free human beings, free limited beings created in the image and likeness of God. They are really faced then with the decision either to, in the spirit of truth, in the spirit of divine will and divine order, freely to admit and to consent to the fact that they are creatures, that they are, before God, nothing. And this free consent to our, let us say, creature-ness, the Old Testament calls that really the fear of the Lord, fear of God. That is the free acknowledgement that we are created in the image and likeness of God.

[80:54]

And in doing that, accepting it and saying our yes, then we really constitute in us the image and likeness of God. When we refuse, to acknowledge it and try to make ourselves gods, then we fall inevitably into the spiritus fictionis, and that's at the root of all the spirit of fiction is pride. I was just reading the other day the sayings of the Chassidim, a word that belongs to this topic. The rabbi of Lublin said, I love the wicked man who knows he is wicked more than the righteous man who knows he is righteous.

[82:02]

But concerning the wicked who consider themselves righteous, it is said, they do not turn even on the threshold of hell, for they think they are being sent to hell to redeem the souls of others. We may laugh about it, but not ourselves, because that's exactly what we are in great danger of thinking. all the time. We are certainly, you know, we are wicked down into the very root of our being. We are always in this great danger to consider ourselves watchers and that is of course on the, say, on the level of fallen nature, the same as what we just talked about before, this initial decision, you know, are we creatures in the eyes of God or are we gods out of ourselves?

[83:13]

That's exactly what it is. So, we are in this in this danger, you know, that we still are being sent to hell, we think now it is in order to save the souls of prophets. Apocultis meis mundame. From the things that are hidden to me, cleanse me, O Lord. It's taught me so much in today's reading there. In this article, it was said, you know, that apokultismēs muddhame, that means of the things that are under, beneath even, let us say, the level of consciousness. Apokultismēs muddhame. and it's so very true that on the level of the unconscious there are deepest still deepest tendencies and perverted tendencies that shows how far really our being wounded through the spirit of pride, how far it goes and the way in order to

[84:24]

to reach into the level of the unconscious, of course, humility. Humility is the only way to reach down into that. But this humility and the humility, of course, of the monk is an absolute one. It's really an absolute one. It's like the... Humility is like a dip. the death which is of course in itself death is the highest act of life it's the highest act of life I mean not death in the physical sense but death in the sense in which we accept it in which we meet it has created in the image and likeness of God, as human beings, the highest decision. It's so true what St John of Damascene always says, and St Thomas takes that up as a theme.

[85:32]

He says, What to man is death? That to the angel is the fall. It's very true. The death is that highest inner decision to accept our creatureness and our nothingness and by that really to be, let's say, created in the image and likeness of God. Or not to accept it. It's the cause. That is the fall. One is the intronization, the other one is the form. And that's the whole distinction between fiction and truth. It struck me so much in Egypt, in the museum there in Cairo. I think I mentioned it before.

[86:33]

There is a very significant presentation of the dead, of human death. Of course, that's all... Egyptian religion was a religion of life and continuation of life, even though as mummies, you know, that was the fatal fiction. But the presentation was this man, the die, the deceased, presented in the attitude of lifting up his hands. Now, the lifting of one's hands is the basic gesture by which somebody who is conquered delivers himself, recognizes it, delivers himself into the mercy of his enemies. It's like if somebody comes and puts his pistol in someone's back and says, hands up, hands up.

[87:42]

This hands up, of course, in that moment he cannot handle any weapons. He is in the hands of the one who asked him to do so. Of course, for man, it's the moment of death. That is our hands up. There we have to hand up. to hold up our hands. That means we are in that mode, we are defenseless. We give up our all defending. We give up, you know, all claims whatsoever. And so, of course, that basic decision which meets everybody at the moment of his bodily death, because there, everything has to be left. We have to hold up our hands. And then, as in this Egyptian representation, then the guard takes him. He holds up his hands, and then the guard takes him and brings him to that boat that then leads him to the other shore, the shore of the eternal life.

[88:54]

And there, of course, that death, you know, really, one can say, is the underlying, is the, one can say, the a priori of the human life. Our life has to be lived under the sign of death. Not out of any pessimism, but out of realism. It's the best way of obviating the spirit of fiction, because it's the spirit of fiction which wants to get around this hands up, doesn't want to really agree to this last surrender. And as long as we don't agree to this last surrender, we are trying to escape Our creatures are trying to escape this final liberating decision.

[89:56]

And humility is, of course, the preparation for death, because every act of humility is cancer, is putting down all weapons, not defending oneself. but giving oneself into the hands of the mercy of God. And, of course, this humility as such, you can see that in the rule, because the rule is, of course, also can be understood only under the a priori of death. The rule of monastic life is really a constantly anticipated death. We must start, therefore, and must go back all the time to this surrender, to this complete inner annihilation, a conscious way of our will to accept this position.

[91:07]

We are not through ourselves and for ourselves, but we are by God, for God. therefore have to surrender into the hands of the one who alone can put us into the boat that carries us over the floods of death into the eternal life. That's humility. And you can see that clearly, that humility in the rule of St. Benedict and the humility of the monk is not conditional. It's unconditional. It's not, yeah, I'm humble to a certain point. And some people, of course, in their struggle with these problems, and sometimes even maybe guided by a spirit, oh, I don't want to be hypocritical. I want the truth. Therefore, humility, yes, but to a certain point.

[92:11]

But humility has that monastic humility at least. I mean that humility which is practiced under the vows. The vow of obedience, the vow of civility, the vow of conversion of morals. That humility is practiced in the spirit of this, our freely accepted death. because that is what the profession, what the vows of the monk means, a freely accepted death. But you see, death is in itself unconditional. It's unconditional. It's complete. And therefore also all these various steps and ways in which we die are absent. Obedience, which is a surrender, is for the monk, is absolute. It's a surrendering into the hands of mercy.

[93:15]

And it doesn't hold, doesn't make, let us say, it doesn't stop, you know, even in front of injustices. It doesn't stop. People in the world may say, yes, humility is fine, but to a certain point. And now, really, I have to stand up for my true value, honor, and so on, or something like that. I can't simply allow myself to be thrown away. See? That comes with all these kind of conditions. The monastic obedience, in that way, is inconditional. And the same, also, humility. If we have done that so often, we are constantly, I mean, doing that. The wrongs of humility include, I'm a worm and I'm not man. And that is, of course, is that is absolute humility.

[94:19]

And that absolute humility alone leads us into freedom. There is then a liberation. Because there we cannot, you know, if our salvation is a new creation on the part of God, we cannot kind of stand before him and say, yes, no, but of course only that far, because up to this point everything is fine. But then maybe from that point on, yes, I need a little correction or so. It's really absolute, just as baptism is absolute. But of course it's always into the hands of the living God. It's into the hands of the divine justice. But with man it is simply so. We don't know our own number. And because we don't know our own number, therefore we have to start with zero. It's logical.

[95:22]

It's inescapable. You cannot do it otherwise. And then, if that is really done, if we come to what we call the zero point, zero point of humility, then a new creation can start. I don't say, you see, that this zero point is a metaphysical zero point or a metaphysical annihilation. It's of course not true because we are always, we remain man and therefore we are also, we are redeemed, we are redeemed as human beings. We are not created into another category. That's not true. We are man. Therefore, also, man is by this act of zero point, of complete surrender to God, man is not destroyed. It's the deepest nature of man.

[96:24]

It's not physical, but it's moral. Humility is a moral act. It's not suicide in the physical sense. But it is really, in that way, suicide. It is really, I before you, I am dust and ashes. And that is the basic gesture of the monastic life. And to that, we have to come back, always, under all circumstances. And every act of obedience, every act of humility, Every act of listening to any spiritual direction always must be done in that spirit. Otherwise, it reaches to a certain point. It may then induce us to correct this or that thought. It doesn't go into the center. That is the first, you know, we have to counteract the spirit of fiction by this inner absolute personal unity.

[97:34]

But then, of course, the monastic life is devised in other ways to obviate the spirit of fiction. It brings us into the community. into contact with other people and there is another thing which again you know is and prevents us or is a good means of to get out you know of the spirit of fiction and that is the love and the relation to other people, to those who are our brethren in Christ. Because there we meet with realities which is not made by us, you know, but still because it's human beings and because they are brethren deeply related to us, deeply related. It's a greater reality for us then to meet plants, you know, and to meet animals, because with plants we can always, you know, do a lot with the spirit of fiction.

[98:40]

We take a nice leaf, you know, and we can put it, you know, nice together with a nice flower, and we can make bouquets, you know, and it all is in that way, is a spirit of fiction. I don't, of course, say that nobody should make bouquets. We can make of flowers much more than they are, and we can make of them something, you see, that is on our level, expression, symbols, all kinds of things. Very good. Then is the animals, too. For example, having pets, the spirit of fiction. put some nice silk thing around your animal's neck, into a cage and then have everything nice, you know, put a little piece of salad into it.

[99:43]

It's all a spirit of fiction, but we are together with others, you see, and not on our terms. For example, of course, if I'm the master and the other one is my servant or something like that, or paid employee, now that is a spirit of fiction to a paid employee, obviously, you see, and the lawyer has to be satisfied if one doesn't want to be fired. But, of course, with Waverham it's different, you know. because we meet them on equal terms. It's an important thing. If you meet them on equal terms, then, of course, there's much less of a chance to fall victim to the spirit of fiction. Unfortunately, just the lack sometimes of humility or a false assumption or building up of one's own position

[100:44]

let us say, the position of senior, or the position of priest, or whatever, for that matter also, sometimes, as a labourer, you know, a witch, a beard up a high throne. I've seen that too. So, that is the pre-vent. But, I mean, of course, the more classes there are, the more possibilities of thrones are there. That's the reason why we don't like it. It's really to prevent the spirit of fiction. To meet the other one, not on my terms, but on his terms. That's the important thing. And then, in that way, be reminded of this basic thing, you see, that this here meeting the other one, the brother, really on his terms, not on my terms. That is, of course, then, you see, that pierces and that counteracts the spirit of fiction which can creep into the practice of religion.

[101:56]

And all the time does, because then John says, nobody has ever seen God. Therefore one can easily say, I love God. I love what I don't see. And there is of course the great danger that I love my own dream. That I love somehow the projection into the infinite and into the divine of really of myself. In other words, in religion, there is always that danger present that it turns into idolatry, that it is practiced in the form of idolatry. And that's with Christianity too. No guarantee against it. But there is, of course, and therefore St. John says, you know, how can you say you love God whom you have not seen if you don't love your brother whom you see? Because there, on that seeing the other, you see, that's a test of reality.

[103:04]

That is a medicine against the spirit of fiction. Because also, as we have seen so often, you know, this famous thing just, I love mankind, I love the millions. But, God save me, if all the people are just here around, I don't understand anything. That is, you see, that's fiction here. See, it's escape. That's the monastic life, it's the common life, vita communis, which, in that way, prevents us from falling victim to the spirit of fiction. And that's also then in the last thing, that is, in the fact that the life of the rule of Saint Benedict provides that everybody and every monk who is in service of Manuel Eber.

[104:11]

Manuel Eber, again, is an antidote to the spirit of fiction. See, the danger is much greater there where the human brain is left with itself. That's an enormous room for the spirit of fiction. See, because I can read about love and my heart just is all in the book. But again, you see, then, when the real demand of love comes, that's completely different. So by reading about things, I'm always induced in a very subtle way to think that I am what I read. That's always with all the others, the entire mental activity. See, the mental activity, man, for that matter, doesn't meet reality so completely as, or I would say this way, one must, of course, consider the whole reality of man, and the reality of man is also partly, is also in the break.

[105:24]

Sure, we should use it, you know, but to use one thing and not the other thing. That leads us then into the spirit of fiction. And that is the importance of, again, the whole setup. You must always remember, if we have a day of recollection like this, we should always think now that our basic question on a day like this is, what does God want of us? What does God want of us? what is really, what is the meaning of our living together. under the auspices of the rule of self-benefit in the whole cosmos, the economy of the Christian life, the Church of God. That's what we have to ask ourselves. And in order to remember that, we must go back to the origins. What are the original ideas of our foundation?

[106:31]

Well, it's exactly this. First of all, you know what we had in mind in founding the community was the escape of the spirit of fiction by the deliberate practicing of that inner coming to the zero point, that as the point where we enter into the freedom and the peace of Christ. We wanted to start as the whole meaning of the scoop. The whole meaning of the school is we turn into the peace of Christ. That means, in absolute humility, this inner surrender, hands up, to the one who then embraces us and leads us and gives us the kiss of peace and gives us a new spirit. That is simply a way of practising every day the basic spirit of the vows. this inner, that sleep which man needs in order to gain a new vision.

[107:41]

That's an inner law even of our natural existence, but, of course, the much deeper way of our spiritual existence. But that is the one thing. And to practise that in a certain way, because it is an art, and it cannot be done at random but it has to be done deliberately consciously over again and over again and over again that is the inner you see therefore the whole thing was thought and that of course the idea of the world it begins from within from this individual dying and of course rising and then it goes into the community And in the community is that what we had in mind always to reduce to a minimum these external possibilities of here choir monk or priest monk, there lay brother and so on, all these categories, you see, so easily then everybody can make his own little fiction.

[108:47]

And instead of that, no, you see, consider us all and all together as a box. Therefore, in that same boat, I am a worm and not a man. And in that way, then, really meet one another and everyone in that inner spirit of love, brotherly love, which is the realization of our love of God. so that we evade the spirit of fiction, which so easily can end a man if he thinks the contemplative life is a going away from it all and be alone with God, right from the start. And then the other, the other one is then, or the other idea of one's savior was, of course, also, and that in some way belongs into this thing, that we never wanted to be a self-sufficient community in that way that you have nothing to do with the surrounding world.

[109:56]

It's, of course, also very, very necessary. I mean, we have always, from the beginning, And it is in order to counteract the spirit of fiction in the religious life that when guests come, now, then, we receive them. We welcome them. We don't consider every guest as a diabolic distraction, interference. But we know here there is, a yes has to be spoken, a situation has to be met. That's against, it's against the spirit of fiction. But then that extends then to the whole world of work. That means our contact with the material world. That contact with the material world is the other way to counteract fiction. We are not angels. But we are, as human beings, we are part of this cosmos.

[110:57]

And that is God wants that. He wants us to be part of this world. And this world is a material world. And therefore, we have to take in a positive, constructive way, we have to take our place in it. That is why he always said to us, work and manual labor is not simply a matter of economical convenience. make the most of money with the least of effort or something. I mean, that's not a question, of course, I know. But to consider manual labour in the context of this, our monastic love, this preoccupation to avoid fiction. And there, to my mind, one sees our whole set up here. That's what we started with. We started with several hundred acres of land. And that is our endowment. We have said from the right, from the beginning, we cannot simply let it go.

[112:01]

Imagine if we had not done a thing, you see, during these 11 years about the fields and the things around us, which is just upset now, we live on what people give us, and then we let go of the fields, we let go into brush or wood or something like that. It would be a terrible situation, you see, to look at it now. But thank God it hasn't happened that way, you see, and the fields are fields. and they are being worked, and they are coves. Of course, we have heard that very often. It's much better to spend one's time on candidates for the priesthood than on coves. Again, we have thought about these things again and again. It is, of course, very important to remind ourselves of this, that there we meet a world, and that is the world, of course, of the animal, of the domestic animal, which in one way forms part in some way of the human family, but on the other hand, of course, it's quite different.

[113:15]

But there is a constant demand, a constant demand of attention. There's also a constant demand of care. and of love, all these things which are there. And that, I think, is so important to counteract the spirit of fiction, to cut loose from the simple day-by-day obligations of life. And instead of that, withdraw into a dream world, which then is, of course, in our dreams, always completely devoted to God. Provided there is not too much interference on the outside. And that is, you see, that is, in our whole set of our things, absolutely essential. At least here, as we are here, at this place. And of course, you know very well that

[114:16]

The law which is imposed upon a community in a Benedictine, let's say, system is the law of the place. It's not an abstract law. It's the law of the place. For us, therefore, I think that is of great importance. The contact, you know, just the contact, for example, the Foulbrook as such, and all that in the future will still crystallise around it because it branches out into various things, you know, beams and trees and all kinds of things. But there is a meeting again of reality. Because there we cannot fumble around. We cannot make big bubbles out of soap. It's impossible. Because in that whole line, things have to be done.

[115:17]

And they have to be done well. They have to be done faithfully. And one cannot simply say, oh, my, look at that, I don't feel like knitting the cards. One cannot say that. But there it has to be done. And it's good, it's wholesome, really, for the whole and for the whole of the community, because they all take a part in it and counteract the spirit of fiction. So let us make that one of our considerations, you know, how our monastic life, just our life here, non-savior, how we reach the true God and counter at all those fictions which in last analysis have their root in human pride, not wanting to accept our condition as creatures, but rather make ourselves, you know, into gods, and then, of course, adore others. to give it to St.

[116:49]

Dionysus, the Prince of Persia. And about the remedies against it, first is that the humility within, which helps us to find the right number starting from zero. Then the other one is the humility with others, charity. Finally, the humility with things. That's the round your labour. These helps which the rule gives to us, which also our life here is trying to achieve that, one more series and then I wanted to still maybe go a little further out try to answer some questions that sometimes make it difficult to find the right way and make the right decisions think the right thoughts

[118:09]

also say the right words and that is a form of which is natural in the monastic life and is not only limited to the novices but I would call it fervor novitius one speaks about that often it's one of the forms which easily can lead to a spirit of fiction that we call the fervor novitius. Fervor novitius is that kind of fervor which really is not mature yet. It's spiritual immaturity. or something very good to that because the monastic life has to start really with a big impetus, impulse so that it may continue then later on during this whole time where we kind of travel along on a plane

[119:29]

and that becomes, I mean on the even plane and that becomes then at times it becomes monotonous and we are apt then to lose maybe our interest we get impatient because we think the right progress is not there, whatever, which is that fervor novitius, say this an initial fervor which however is not yet mature and therefore can easily then also lead to show its immaturity by practical conclusions which really are not that wise and solid. The fervor novitius, that is a spirit which wants, of course, the monastic life and I think we can say that also here of our

[120:44]

community. One of the reasons why we exist is really that we want the monastic life. We want to be good monks. But then sometimes into this, and I say this isaka, good as it is in itself still, has to be matured. It has to be purified. We say that in the In the sayings of the fathers is this word, very good and drastic if you see a young monk trying to climb into heaven on his own, take him by his legs and throw him down to this earth. there is the reaction you know against this verbo novitius which is so easily it's just this impatient climbing on one's own and very often also then leads in the especially in the beginnings of the monastic life to certain criticisms you know when the individual

[122:02]

Fervor meets with the community. Now that's, of course, always, maybe not always, but in many cases it's like a cold shower. It's a kind of douche, you know, which has a sobering influence, you know, on the very fervent individual. He has to learn then to temper his zeal through learning and listening to receive the proper guidance and with that then the proper balance of things. There are of course many first ways in which this However, novitius sometimes shows itself, and I say not only and always limited to the novitiate, is, for example, the urge of personally, within the personal realm, of great austerity.

[123:23]

personal austerity of fasting, for example. Not that I am a Ginnett, you know, but it can easily, you know, lead to that. And here is a nice little tale from the Chassidim just about there, where the name of the man is. Rabbi David. The name shouldn't lead your attention in the wrong direction. It's really... It's not him, nor me, but us. Since this way, for six years and then for another six years, Rabbi David of Lelof had done great penance. He had fasted from one supper to the next and subjected himself to all manner of rigid discipline.

[124:24]

But even when the second six years were up, he felt that he had not reached perfection and did not know how to attain what he still lacked. Since he had heard of Rabbi Elimelech, the healer of souls, he journeyed to him to ask his help. On the evening of the Sabbath, he came before the tzaddik with many others. The master shook his hands with everyone except Rabbi David, but from him he turned and did not give him a glance. The rabbi of Lelof was appalled and left. But then he thought it over and decided that the master must have taken him for someone else. So he approached him in the evening after the prayer and held out his hand. But he was treated just as before. And he wept all night and in the morning resolved not to enter the ascetic's house of prayer again, but to leave for home at the end of the Sabbath.

[125:35]

And yet when the hour of the holy third meal had come, the meal at which Rabbi Elimelech spoke words of teaching, he could not restrain himself and crept up to the window. And there he heard the rabbi say, Sometimes people come to me who fast and torment themselves. And many wander Spenance for six years, and then for another six, twelve whole years. And after that they consider themselves worthy of the Holy Spirit and come and ask me to draw it down to them. I am to supply the little they still lack. But the truth of the matter is that all their discipline and all their pains are less than a drop in the sea. And what's more, all that service of theirs does not rise to God but to the idol of their pride. Such people must turn to God by turning utterly from all they have been doing, and begin to serve from the bottom up and with a truthful heart.

[126:42]

When Rabbi David heard these words, the Spirit moved him with such force that he almost lost consciousness. Trembling and sobbing, he stood at the window. When the haftalah was concluded, he went to the door with water and bread, opened it in great fear, and waited on the threshold. Rabbi Elimelech rose from his chair, ran up to his motionless visitor, embraced him and said, Blessed be he that comes. Then he drew him toward the table, seated him at his side. But now Eliezer, the Zadok's son, could no longer restrain his amazement. Father, he said, why, that is the man you turned away twice, because you could not endure the mere sight of him. No, indeed, Rabbi Elimelech answered, that was an entirely different person. Don't you see that this is our dear Rabbi David?

[127:48]

So that is a story which is of great importance for us in this world of issues. We are sometimes inclined with a certain note of contempt to others to build up a great crowd, edifice of all kinds of works, which then we cannot help considering our own. And therefore we fall then into the great danger and mistake of comparing. And as soon as we come to the comparing, we are immediately like the miners who are in the mountain and there they dig along, you know, in the dark. That is comparing. And then we are away from the great and simple thoughts.

[128:51]

We get mixed up in a maze. Comparing always does that. We lose the first and simple and evident thoughts and truth. And that is, of course, we lose this. Why? Because we have lost humility. and we are therefore right away become the victims of the father of lies and that is pride and therefore we should especially at the beginning of the monastic life be very careful not start with thinking that one is already a saint or that one has already achieved something Well, that one is in any way more than somebody else, anyway. What is here is the reason also why I read this, is this here, that sentence, such people must turn to God by turning utterly from all they have been doing.

[130:01]

We can very often come already into the monastery with certain, one can say, idols. And we think that they have to fit into the monastic life. And the monastic life has to serve these idols, those ideas. And if it doesn't, too bad. too bad for the let's say the community which one has joined and all they begin to serve from the bottom up and with the truthful heart begin to serve from the bottom up and with the truthful heart and that is so important that's the point I wanted to bring to your attention that one of the surest ways to counteract the spirit of fiction in a monastic life is this readiness to serve from the bottom up.

[131:05]

In that, I can see that in so many cases, the danger that that principle is not followed from the bottom up. One starts somehow, one wants to start too high. And by starting too high, one cannot build on a sound foundation. One simply is not, as we say, with both feet on the ground. And because one is not with both feet on the ground, therefore everything that is built up there somehow is in the clouds. And somehow it just doesn't work. It doesn't have the inner efficacy. It doesn't work as a bond of peace. It is not really constructive, but it is destructive. In itself, maybe, and from the outside, maybe considered glorious, very good, whatever.

[132:13]

And still it is not in the order. It didn't go through the baptism of humility completely. And therefore it doesn't stand on this ground. It isn't somehow incarnate. And that is very, very important. The whole effort of St. Benedict in his rule is to construct the edifice of sanctity on the foundation of humility and to show that this foundation of humility is descending and not ascending. And that is the mystery, one can say, of the monastic life. And in so many cases, we are misled by this fervor novitius. That fervor novitius can, for example, in practical application to oneself, may consist in some unbalanced, also unauthorized austerities, such as things appear in this case.

[133:29]

But of course, it is limited to the individual. This kind of clever novitius also can color, say, our judgment about things that are being done, which concern the whole of the community, say, the works of the community. And there, of course, one thing which we, I know that very well, which we kind of suffer from and which we have to meet, again and again I mean not in shouting and hard words you know but just pointing it out as a danger fully conscious of the fact that this actual situation may give rise to such thoughts now that is for example just this relation between the say the Not to say study, prayer, reading, prayer, and work.

[134:34]

This for many is a problem, one probably will never in any monastery be able to reach the perfect balance. The question is if this perfect balance can ever be reached. And the question is if therefore the thinking and planning about the perfect balance is really, let us say, fruitful, especially for individuals who themselves do not have the responsibility of the whole. One very good thing that one has to say again and again to every beginner in the monastic life is, for heaven's sake, mind your own business. and your own business, of course, your own uttered conversions. That is the decisive thing. It's the mea culpa, as we say. It's not the tua culpa which saves the monk.

[135:39]

But that question, of course, exists, the relation between the amount of work that has been to be done and the amount of free time that is there to do the things which one is led, you can say somehow by nature or by instinct, to think that they are the real things in the service of God. It's another little tale which may be of help in the same direction. It's the inscription here, the title of it, is Out of Travail, Labour. Once at the close of the Day of Atonement, when Rabbi Shevermore was in a gay mood. Good Day of Atonement. Yes, that's good.

[136:39]

He said he would tell everyone what he had asked of heaven on these holy days. That's the Jewish custom. And what answer was intended for his request? That's the wish one can make on the day of atonement. To the first of his disciples who wanted to be told, he said, What you asked of God was that he should give you your livelihood at the proper time and without too much labor so that you might not be hindered in serving God. And the answer was that what God really wants of you is not study or prayer but the size of your heart which is breaking because the labour of gaining a livelihood hinders you in the service of God. Now, the meaning of that, as far as I can see, is that what is of real importance, and that is again a thing which can lead a monastic life into so many irrealities, and they also call it immaturity,

[138:02]

that one always thinks that the first thing is and are the external circumstances the external possibilities and that they have to be changed first but as we always try to insist on is that it isn't this but the decisive thing for the monk is how to meet the concrete situation as it is because everything else is of course immediately in the danger of murmuring, leads to the danger of murmuring. Yes, we are doing or we have to do too much, we are not doing the right thing for our material support. We could do something that would be easier, which would give more time for study and prayer or so on.

[139:03]

The important thing is what God really wants of us is not study or prayer, but the inner attitude, the science of our heart. which is breaking because the travail of gaining a livelihood in the service of God. That is the essential thing, that inner desire to serve God in study and prayer, that inner desire, and the suffering of the fact that we cannot do as much in this life as maybe we would like to do. Therefore, it's very important just for the novices, you know, too, because those who come new into a monastery and haven't been there, say, in the whole development that a monastery has taken, that has gone through during the years, now easily they say, my, this could be done so much better in this way.

[140:14]

The other thing would be much better done in that way and then of course again the attention the fervor novitius of this kind leads into thoughts which in last analysis promote a spirit of fiction and prevents the novice of really turning his whole attention to this one thing to meet the demand of the moment really in the spirit of humility then when we come from the various manifestations come to another stage you know which also which maybe is even more the dangerous and leading also carries in itself the danger of leading into fiction and that is the mixed motives that may in the course of the monastic life may take a hold of us

[141:27]

I say we kind of try to go various steps and to various stages. First is this fervor novitius, that is that shooting too high in the initial fervor. It's, let us say, the lack of truth which it contains. For example, it is always understandable, of course, and therefore also the basic desire which underlies this is not a desire which has to be laughed at or has to be trampled underfoot or anything like that. It has to be purified. That is the important thing. The danger there is always the ideal of the complete and pure service of God.

[142:33]

And all that it leads to involves withdrawing from the reality into a world where God and I, we are there. completely alone and there is the danger of certain exaggerations we say lack of balance immaturity and but then there's another stage and that is the monk say goes gets into the monastic life and he becomes a second nature. Maybe that's saying too much at this moment. I mean, he becomes more creative, more true in it, and still sometimes there is the danger of mixed motives.

[143:36]

Nature comes back again after a while, always. and kind of claims its rights. It rises again in maybe a little different form but still in essence the same. there's another tale of the Kasidim which is maybe gives light in this problem if somebody practices perfection that he lives, succeeds, so to say, in leading a life which is relatively good, which prevents him from greater sins, faults of any kind, Then, after a while, he attributes that to himself.

[144:36]

He feels, you see, now I can do it on my own. And maybe he sets the date, the timetable of his maturing a little too early. And there is another one on his journey to Rabbi Elimelech. Rabbi Elimelech. My God is my King. Whom after the death of the dragon he had chosen for a second teacher, young Jacob Yitzchak. Yitzchak. Later the Rabbi of Lublin. came to a little town and in the house of prayer heard the rabbi of that place reciting the morning prayer with deep fervor. He stayed with him over the supper and noticed the same fervor in all he said and did.

[145:43]

When he came to know him a little better, he asked him whether he had ever served a tzaddik, one of the chassidim. The answer was no. And this surprised Jacob Hitzkak for the way, the way that is the way of the chassidim, the saddicts. The way cannot be learned out of a book from hearsay, but can only be communicated from person to person. He asked the devout rabbi to go to his teacher with him, and he agreed. But when they crossed Rabbi Elimelech's threshold, he did not come forward to meet his disciple with his customary affectionate greeting, but turned to the window and paid no attention to his visitors. Jacob Yitzchak realized that the rejection was directed to his companion, took the violently excited rabbi to an inn and returned alone.

[146:53]

Rabbi Elimelech advanced toward him, greeted him fondly, and then said, What struck you, my friend, to bring with you a man in whose face I can see the tainted image of God? Jacob Yitzchak listened to these words in dismay, but did not venture to reply or to ask a question. But Rabbi Elimelech understood what was going on within him and continued, You know that there is one place, lit only by the planet Venus, where good and evil are blended. Sometimes a man begins to serve Garon, and then ulterior motives and pride enter into his service. Then, unless he makes a very great effort to change, he comes to live in that dim place and does not even know it.

[147:57]

He is even able to exert great fervor, for close by is the place of the impure fire. From there he pitches his blaze and kindles his service with it, and does not know from where he has taken the flame. Jacob Yitzchak told the stranger the words of Rabbi Elimelech, and the rabbi recognized the truth in them. In that very hour he turned to God, ran weeping to the master, who instantly gave him his help, and with this help he found the way. That is another thing also in our monastic life that we have to remember. We have to watch. In the course of the monastic life, we can never say we have arrived always this great danger.

[148:59]

That we come kind of accustomed to things, that we do them, that we reach therefore a certain... It works somehow. As soon as before we know it, We think, you know, that now we are teachers, now we are rabbis, you know, now we have the spirit, you know. Now we can be fathers, you know, to brothers and daughters. In reality, we live still in that dim place where the planet Venus only sheds his... meager ways. Nearby is the place of impure fire, fire that in some way one can use to kind of give and develop a certain pseudo fervor and pathos. it's a great danger for us as monks you know because we have to talk so much you know I must say personally I always keenly feel that we have to talk about perfection about the deepest of mysteries and do that day after day

[150:22]

The great danger is that we may start, you know, kind of playing ball with these things, you know, that we somewhere have learned, you know, that we can, of course, keep in our memories easily. And then taking things out of our memory, of course, we can present them. And we can present them in a kind of a brilliant way. And then, of course, we like the brilliance, and we like the kind of, how could you call it, I mean, there's this fireworks, you know, that we carry in that way, a developed, tremendous thing. What we have done in reality is gone to the place of impure fire. and with that we kind of start a little blaze. But it will not hold because it doesn't have the absolute reality of the divine in it.

[151:33]

Great danger for us. So that is, of course, also, if you want, it's a spirit of fiction. and that spirit of fiction can easily enter into the minds of those who, let's say, professionally are engaged in religion and revelation. So, let us also use a day of recollection like this just for that purpose. What can we do? We can only present ourselves before God. and say, you know, O Lord, that we know you. And in that way go again through humility to the place of the purifier. That is the tremendous role of humility in the reaching of maturity. Sometimes it is, naturally, and we have spoken about that among ourselves very often, it's the problem of maturity.

[152:43]

spiritual maturity. And, of course, the spiritual maturity is not, for that matter, simply the result of years of studying theology, still less of years of studying philosophy. But it is, you know, only go again. It's humility. I'm always tempted to say, instead of humility, to say agape, because there is humility, the love that seekers not own. And to that, that there is the source of all maturity. There is maturity, of course, in the spiritual sense, in the sense of the monk. Maturity is not... to have an answer to everything, to know all the answers.

[153:49]

That's not maturity. But maturity is the purity of our inmost being. Speaking of what Jean Leclerc always said during the retreat and so too, the unity. Uno es necessario. One thing. Or, as he put it, and that's so very true, that unity is necessary. Uno es necesario. Not the multa, but unity is necessary. And that is the essence, of course, of maturity. And that is, but how is that established? How do we reach that unity? Now, that is, of course, we see that in Abraham. I mean, if St. Paul explains that, and he explains that just in the context, you know, of this, where he also has there that beautiful word, the contrast spin in spin crater.

[154:54]

Against hope, put your trust in hope. Against hope, put your trust in hope. You see, there's one hope, let us say the hope of maturity, you know, which tries or thinks, oh, we can't arrive to a maturity only if we are able or we are enabled, you know, to participate in this or to do this or to do that, you know. In the driver's seat, here I would have the possibility of reaching maturity, you know. Because then, of course, is the problem. How does the monk reach that maturity? And there is, of course, the answer to that is we must be clear what is maturity in the spiritual sense. And that we find in Abraham, because one can put it this way, that in all the scripture, in all the maturity is, that's a general category, is that fullness of being which makes and constitutes a father.

[156:07]

Abraham, the father of all the faithful. But what is his maturity? Of course, the first thing is his maturity and not his works. That is what St. Paul immediately explains there in this fourth chapter. Not his works, not what he does, but what he believes is faith. That is attributed to him as justice. Justice, one can absolutely say, may equalize the maturity with justice. Justice in the sense of the Old Testament. That is maturity, what the Old Testament... And that justice is, of course, the first one.

[157:09]

He becomes Ibram, the father of the faith. What is it in Ibram? He believed. What did he believe? He believed, you know, that God is the Lord over the dead and the living. That the Lord can rise and raise life out of death. called forth life out of death. That is the mystery of the leading his only son and his beloved son, you know, to the altar and to sacrifice him. The thing and the one whom he loved and whom he relied, he was his hope, the young Isaac. He was his hope. And then he had put that upon the altar. But then when he did it, you know, still against hope, he believed in hope.

[158:13]

That means in the God who calls life out of darkness, out of death. That is, again, also there you must see. See that, for example, what we call the virtue of hope. It has to go through humility. Without humility, no hope. We have said here, Montmorency said, that's absolutely not wrong, see, that way. Without love, no hope. That is very true, because we cannot, you know, of course, fulfill our hope out of ourselves. Therefore, it is the others, it is the famous, it is those who are with us, you know, are those who enable, who are our hope. But this is still deeper, it goes into the centre of the own self. I myself, I don't wish hope if it's not through faith in the one who raises life out of the dead.

[159:22]

So in that way also this, the access to our hope, is this inner humility. That means that humility, which, again, I say, yes, it's true, is somehow identical with law. Always, of course, it leads us through death into life. To that we may close. because it's now time for us and one little practical application that I would like to recommend to all who are involved in Chibunet history very conscientious also, in a way, after complaining about the retires and the whole question of sleep, you know.

[160:37]

Sometimes the form of vizius, you know, is a form of zeal which really doesn't pay enough attention to the fact that one thing that we need is sleep. But there is one thing you say, you see, and that I say good night. This is the spirit of the vampire, Ciccio. Ciccio. Ciccio means sweetie. There is this, you know, the sarikim, you know, it's always the chastity, the sarikim, the vampires, the sect, you know.

[161:45]

The sarikim who, in order to serve, it's a wonderful thing, in order to serve, keep going from sanctuary to sanctuary and from world to world, must cast their life from them time and again so that they may receive a new spirit, that over and over a new revelation may float upon them. This is the secret of sleep. Peter from Le Martinique, although not very much for players, but that's also that we are leaving the hardest part of the year to enter a season when rains are more frequent,

[163:22]

Eastern winds, the only good and refreshing ones, are more filled. The nights are even cooler in 70 degrees, relatively, even when it is only a substitute of the sub-superior for communities. Here we are diminished physically and psychically by the passing climate. by the big background of a poor Christmas. So, what's a Seville? From Montse we have received so many good brotherly letters. It is a shame to let them all go without any answer. I cannot right now but please tell my thanks and my grateful gratitude to bear expression of eternal charity, and it is really too much then merely a form of expression.

[164:35]

So I want to keep in our prayers that merely week. Ben and other waiting calls from far away for you. Perhaps. He was very much with us yesterday, and the news is about his memories of last year. received pictures that we sent him from here you know thanks his greetings and remembers that last year we had one of the gifts on the uh gifts for the It was in these days, he says, a year ago, when I see myself sitting in the cell and cutting breviaries and pasting together the sound order of songs.

[165:45]

It was a wonderful work just made for the winter. Do you remember that? For your feast day, there was a beginning of it, pasted in a very articulate way. I always remember that nice celebration we had in the evening. So it would be again this year that you can be sure and assure all the brethren of our Saviour that I shall be with them. That's called the Union of the Altar. In the meantime, you probably have received my report about the possibilities of printing the new Psalter. Of course, that is a kind of sour grapes, you know.

[166:48]

They are quite sour because so tremendously expensive. like we have with Prince's Mammoths, which could have the entire set's breviary printed so that, in that way, it could be made accessible to the abbots, of course, and also to others, because there is great interest for it, also great misgivings about it. I mean, there are pros and there are cons. those who are pro and those who are not. We thought, indeed, that a kind of printed edition of the whole office would help very much to get a clear idea, but it is $1,700 to print it even in Germany. And we don't have the $1,700 right now, so I ask all to pray at that intention, you know, that we might be able to do it.

[167:59]

But at the moment, with our other expenses, it's just not possible. And I've got a special greeting that starts with the word move. which means benedicite in the language over there at the farm. All of us over here at the farm wish you a very happy feast day. We did our dauntless to give the most meal possible in this morning. We try again this afternoon to honour the occasion. And as a special greeting from Ollie the senior. I went to the parlour this morning with eye-seekers hanging from their eyes, thinking that she had been just crying for the Lord for the feast.

[169:01]

And warm tears were melting the eyes. So it's all there. We assume there was the same reason for the feast. We have to confess that at one point there was no grain in the store. The situation may just have made the flow of the tears more freely. There is also a message not only from Molly but also from Bridget. She says she keeps trying to get Brother Bruno's attention about the fact that the mural over the... Probably the hatchet on the east wall of the loafing farm isn't there yet.

[170:08]

Brother Brunner is always moving so rapidly. She feels he is a little embarrassed to face her, probably. Brother will get on the ball, of course. Winter is here, and in addition to the aesthetic value of a mural, they have some insulating value also. The girl says the bird's doing well, she's satisfied. I really didn't express any particular sentiment, feeling that you probably wouldn't want any real first mate. Lots more to say, but no time now. We are going to be ready for this afternoon. We'll be your faithful womanators, the girls.

[171:10]

We have a list.

[171:21]

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