Shikantaza: "To Forget The Self"

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BZ-00190A

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Saturday Lecture

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And sometimes we call this, usually longer sitting, we call it Sushin, but I call this one day sitting Sushin as well, to gather the mind, or to embrace the mind. The practice of zazen and the essence of Dogen Zenju's teaching is called, as you know, most of you know, chikantaza. Chikantaza means something like

[01:17]

it means just sitting, just sitting. Just sitting means nothing extra. It means without any expectation, just to exist in this moment, totally free. Sometimes people ask, how should I prepare for Sashim? Sometimes we have seven days Sashim, five days Sashim. And it's a little scary for people. A lot of discomfort, a lot of deprivation from our usual

[02:28]

We let go of everything. And people say, well, how should I prepare for Sashim? And my answer often is, don't think about it. But when you're going to do something momentous, And if my legs start hurting right away, just think of what it will be like after seven days. If you think this way, it's not Shikantaza. This is not Shikantaza. Shikantaza is simply existing, totally living, moment to moment. moment to moment, totally living on each moment, you can't really do Sishin.

[03:51]

But nevertheless, we enter Sishin whether we can do it or not. And by doing without any expectation. But it's not the usual joy.

[05:22]

It's not the joy that we have when we're satisfying our emotions or our feelings. It's the joy of actually letting go on everything. This is the greatest, deepest joy. We usually in our life, striving after something material, striving after something in the material world. Zazen is letting go of everything. Without any expectation, it's really difficult to be able to be settled in each moment on the moment with the circumstances that you're in.

[06:30]

When happiness is there to just be happy, be completely happy, totally happy. When painfulness is present, Just be painful, totally painful. Dogen Zenji, in his well-known phrase in Genjo Koan, the Awakening Koan, Genjogoan, the Great Matter, he says, to study the Buddhadharma is to study the self.

[07:33]

And to study the self is to forget the self, let go of the self, or drop the self. And to drop the self, let go of the self, forget the self, is to be enlightened by the myriad dharmas. To be enlightened by the myriad dharmas is to free oneself and to free others. And no trace of enlightenment will remain. And this traceless enlightenment continues on and on.

[08:35]

Study means to do something over and over again. It's not to study in order to gain information. Information is OK. In Buddha Dharma, in Buddhism, in Zen, information is not so important. People ask questions. They want to know, the student will want to know how to deal with a problem. And they want some information. doesn't give information.

[10:06]

The teacher prods the student to discover something for themselves. Sometimes people say, this is not a very good teacher. I don't learn much from this teacher. That's probably a sign of a good teacher. Shikantaza. To practice shikantaza means to work hard to discover something on your own.

[11:11]

And in the end, it really comes down to not knowing. Always working toward discovery, but in the end, not knowing. Reaching back in the night, you're scroping for your pillow. Not really knowing where it is, but having some idea of the direction. You know it's behind you somewhere. You don't know exactly where it is. So you have to search around for it. Sometimes people say, well, when I went to the Zen Center, nobody was very friendly. People were not very friendly.

[12:18]

Well, they're not untrembling. They're not contrambling. But there's something about their attitude, which is not something that it's supposed to be. It's just the way it is. Because one always lets a person find their way in. A person has to find their way in. And that's actually the basic attitude of practice is to find your way in. The practice is presented and open, but it's up to the student to find their way into the practice. And also, it's important that the practice doesn't promise anything. Dogen Zenji says, If you really practice sincerely, you will become realized.

[13:33]

But we don't make that promise. Actually, if you practice really, totally and sincerely, you will have realization. But that's not a carrot. If you practice You will practice. That's our promise. That's the only promise I can make. If you really practice, you will really practice. If you don't practice, If your practice is sincere and motivated, there will always be a response.

[14:42]

But sometimes, there will not be a response. The teacher will always meet you. But then sometimes, the teacher will step aside, and you will stumble and pass. And then you have to find yourself. Where am I? Why didn't he respond? Why didn't she respond? So, it's a kind of disservice, you know, for the teacher to always be telling the student something, information. Because it takes away the student's own mind, as soon as you get some satisfaction. practices that are step-by-step practice.

[16:12]

First you study basic Buddhism, and then you're studying other levels and layers of Buddhist understanding, and gradually you're acknowledged for your understanding. But that's not Zen practice. They're actually They're certain.

[17:22]

Even though we are. So the main thing about practice, and about zazen, and about cixin, and shikantaza, is to not have any expectations. That's the ground without expecting to be enlightened, without expecting to be comfortable, without expecting to be happy, without expecting to be friendly, without expecting that today's Zazen will be like yesterday's was, or that tomorrow's Zazen will be like today's was, or that my life

[19:25]

but simply to accept and be open to the quality of this moment and accept it. And to be without looking for fame, or position, or gaining anything. Without even clinging to being alive.

[20:35]

When you get to be a certain age, when you get to be old, then you start thinking about the end of your life. And some people think, well, I'm 80, 90, pretty soon I'm going to be dead. Well, I'm 70. I have to think about it all the time, even when I'm 20, what I do between now and the time I'm dead.

[21:51]

But birth and death are taking place all the time. It's not like now I'm alive and then I'll be dead. There is something to that. And as a matter of fact, they appear at the same time. To live on this moment, and then let it go. And to live on this moment, and then let it go. But we want to kind of cling to the things that we like. And it's easy to let go of the things we don't like. But it's hard to let go of the things that we like. To be even-minded and settled is to let things come and go as they come.

[23:14]

Let things come as they come and go as they go. Suzuki Roshi used to talk about breathing. We really enjoy inhalation. Each breath is birth and death, a moment of birth and a moment of death.

[24:23]

Shikantaza is to live our life fully on this moment of birth and death without any expectation. live your life all the way to the end. If we know how to die, then we can really appreciate and enjoy our life. If we let go of everything, then what do we have? Thank you. as the next step, letting go of everything.

[25:54]

What would you have? When we sit, we realize this. Truly sitting. Allow yourself to relax. So, Dogen says, to study the Buddhadharma is to study the Self.

[27:09]

To study the Self is to let go, drop the Self, forget the Self. Shikantaza is Forget the self. centered on Buddha, Buddha-centered, as New Yorkers used to say, where Buddha and ordinary person, ordinary mind at the same time, where ourself and Buddha at the same

[28:35]

that I'm myself, but I don't know that I'm Buddha. But myself is just a momentary existence. But I'm also a Buddha, which is which has no specific form or shape, then we can relax. So, as the old saying goes, know yourself.

[29:51]

Know your true self. Know your real self. So we take our small self and put it on the cushion and offer it up to the big self. This is our offering. Sanatana is our offering. That's really what it is. is simply offering small self up to big self in order to find your true home.

[30:59]

It's called giving up. It's called renunciation. So we say, in order to practice Soto Zen, Dogen Zen, we have to be a little bit strict. be in a kind of wonder, state of wonder.

[32:16]

So whatever happens, one is just open and ready for whatever happens. waiting for a mouse. The mouse is in the hole, underneath the baseboard there. And the cat is just sitting there, very well concentrated, but not doing anything. Or it doesn't seem like he's doing anything. But the cat is totally, dynamically alive. Just sit still. Up every inch.

[33:29]

We have freedom from ourself. It means that my mind is holding me in bondage.

[35:21]

My mind... Bodhidharma says, who is binding you? Who is holding you? We tend to look for outside reasons for our problems, but most of our problems are caused by the way we think. There is no attachment through desire.

[36:57]

practicing renunciation, and allowing life to live itself, and appreciating breath, and appreciating life, and living it totally and fully, without any fear or anxiety. That's such a good question. It doesn't mean that the practice is not of use up there.

[41:05]

It simply means without expecting. Q. You speak of no expectations. Who is it that has no expectations?

[41:25]

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