Good morning. So I've been feeling like this was, this session is a good time to, for all of us to do some more settling and finding our space together. And whenever I think of settling in Sashin, and of Sashin, I think of Hongzhi's Silent Illumination teachings. And I've taught from them here before. I did a seminar a year ago, last month. But I thought I'd talk again about Silent Illumination and This time just focus each day on one paragraph, rather than talking about it generally.

[01:03]

Or who knows, I may end up spending the whole three days on the same one paragraph. We'll see. so maybe just to repeat this is these are the teachings from hong shi zhong shui who was a twelfth century chinese soto teacher and very uh... important source for dogen and his teaching of silent illumination or serene illumination was uh... was kind of basic to uh... the soto teaching of just sitting anyway in this uh... paragraph he says, from the practice instructions. With the depths clear, utterly silent, thoroughly illuminate the source, empty and spirited, vast and bright.

[02:08]

So, we're just starting this morning, but A couple of periods in, and some of us had a couple of periods last night. I feel we can all kind of drop into this space. And of course, still, there is workiness. And yet, at the same time, we can get tastes of this as we're sitting. The depth's clear. utterly silent. So utterly silent doesn't mean that we're trying to crush the words or the sounds that arise inside our heads or minds or hearts, but just that we leave everything radically alone, including the thoughts, the feelings that they

[03:17]

sometimes as us and Bob and weave through our mind stream. And yet, with the depths clear, utterly silent, leaving everything radically alone, Hongzhi says, then thoroughly illuminate the source, empty and spirited, vast and bright. So, Hongshu is the master poet of meditation. These are metaphors, the source is not some thing or place or understanding or whatever that you have to find. Still, when we quiet down, when we are willing to sit upright and leave body and mind to completely be body and mind, allow each inhale

[04:20]

and each exhale to just be this inhale, this exhale. In the middle of this, this instruction is to illuminate the source. So, from out of this serene quietness, we can start to have a little taste of this source, sort of, I don't know, somewhere over our shoulder, or somewhere around our cushion or chair, or under our cushion or chair, or whatever. Of course, it's not inside or outside. And yet, bless you, from We were talking about a line from a koan earlier this year, from outside creation, a guest shows up.

[05:28]

Well, maybe this is from the source of creation. And something shows up, a sneeze, a breath, a thought. And so it's not just passively sitting and letting, it's radically letting, leaving things alone, but then there's this verb, illuminate. Give your attention, give your heart to this process, this source. It's just empty and spirited, so we think of something as empty as kind of blank and vacant, but it's empty and also there's spirit there, there's energy there. It's vast, we can't imagine even the end of it, and yet it's bright. With the depths clear, utterly silent, thoroughly illuminate the source, empty in spirit, vast and bright.

[06:40]

Even though you have lucidly scrutinized your image and no shadow or echo meets it, searching throughout, you see that you still have distinguished between the merits of a hundred undertakings. So this is getting into, this is what the illumination is about. We can lucidly scrutinize. This is your image, whatever image you've got, whatever appears before you. And when we really meet this, we can have the sense of no shadow, no echo, just this, just this. So maybe it's too much to talk about this, only two periods into a Sashim, but we've got a short Sashim and some of you are here for three days, some for two, anyway. No point wasting time, just dive in.

[07:47]

You've all been here before. So sometimes you lucidly scrutinize your image and no shadow or echo makes it. This is this vast source. The shadows wash away. There's nothing at all to bring forth an echo. So this isn't some idea of silence. It's just settling. Settling. Settling this process. But he says, even though that happens, searching throughout, you see that still, you have distinguished between the merits of a hundred undertakings. So this settling, it's kind of endless, still, we may thoroughly eliminate the source, still, keep searching throughout.

[08:52]

And even when things get very quiet and there's not even an echo, there's no shadows. the light from the lamps, the light from the window, is of the same nature and breath as the light from within you and the light around you. Still, our karma is that we have distinguished between the merits of a hundred undertakings. You might think, oh, how wonderful to be sitting and sitting. on a weekend in June. Or we might think, oh gee, it would be more wonderful to be, I don't know, doing something wonderful out in Chicago today. Anyway, our mind does that. We distinguish merits. So please see that. Again, it's not that you

[09:55]

Trying to get rid of that would be yet another distinguishment of merits. So it's not that there's something wrong with that. This is what our mind does. Our conceptualizing mind makes distinctions and makes evaluations. We think this period of Zazen was better than that period of Zazen. We can actually have that thought. hearing the old teaching stories, we can think, oh, this response was better than that question, or whatever. Our mind does that. Sitting with this posture is better than sitting with that posture. Anyway. See that we do that. So he just says, searching throughout, you see that you still have distinguished between the merits of a hundred undertakings.

[10:57]

So this illuminating the source again is, each sentence almost is like repeating this process. He says, then you must take the backward step and directly reach the middle of the circle from where light issues forth. This refers to a traditional meditation instruction in Japanese is called Eko Hensho. It's in Fukan Zazenki too and other places in Dogen's writing. To take the backward step and turn the light inwardly to illuminate the self is one way that Dogen says. This backward step. So he says this after having talked about illuminating the source and clearly scrutinizing the image and just seeing how we just make distinctions So there's this kind of backward step, from the backward step even, just turn the light within.

[12:05]

Don't worry about whatever. So sashin is a time to really radically let go. And take this backward step, turn, turn, turn our attention, turn our illumination, turn our light within. And he says, directly reach the middle of the circle. Well, again, the circle is just this image. And yet, always there's this circle. And where's the middle? So we have a kind of circle here. You could say the bowing man is the middle. We could see the circle of all the beings who are here sometimes and see the circle extending to the very end of the room. And it says, where's the middle? Maybe Buddha's the middle. But actually, each breath is the middle of the circle.

[13:08]

Each of you is sinking, settling deep into the middle of the circle right now. take the backwards step and directly reach the middle of the circle from where light issues forth. So what is this light we talk about? First of all, this isn't to ignore that we do make distinctions between the merits of a hundred undertakings.

[14:13]

It's not to ignore the sadnesses and pain and frustrations of our life. It's not to ignore the First Noble Truth. It's not to ignore our own brokenness. And yet, from our uprightness and settling, deep into our connection to this source, something we might call light shines forth. So we've mentioned before, this Leonard Cohen line, there is a crack in everything that's where the light shines in, or how the light shines out. directly reach this middle of the circle from where light issues forth.

[15:13]

And this is not light in the ordinary sense, but it includes all light. And it's not some special experience that you have to see. This is a kind of light that you maybe, you can hear it, the sound of the air conditioning. You can taste it. You might feel it in your shoulders or in your lower back. from the middle of this circle, light issues forth. So, it's hard to say anything about this.

[16:22]

Somehow Hongzhi was able to. He steeped in this light for a long time. But with each churning of the light, as he's doing in this passage, he keeps going beyond. So he then says, outstanding and independent. Still, you must abandon pretexts for merit. When we feel this, when we settle into the quiet and the calm and the peacefulness of just, here we are, Sachine, Feeling the wholeness, the uprightness of this light. It is outstanding. And we are independent.

[17:25]

We could also say interdependent, but we can feel, you may feel in some ways. Just the wonderfulness of being here, each of you on your cushion or chair, just as it is. Still, you must abandon pretexts for merit. So throughout this passage, it's this process of the light shining forth and then not being caught up in that. not being intoxicated by it. We keep turning the backwards step. We keep paying attention. This is a light that's not... maybe it's more like moonlight than sunlight.

[18:27]

It doesn't dazzle us and blind us. It's a kind of warm, subtle glow. that we have to keep turning back to. So he says, outstanding and independent still, you must or please abandon pretexts for merit. So when you feel this, when you feel peacefulness of your uprightness, when you feel enjoyment of your breath, when you feel the settling, let go of feeling like you've accomplished something, like this is great merit. In some ways, of course it's great merit. It's helpful in ways that we can't possibly figure out.

[19:34]

Not just helpful to you, the person sitting on your cushion or chair, although it is, but it makes a difference in the world. It may not end the war all by itself, but it helps. So outstanding and independent still, you must abandon pretexts for merit. Carefully discern that naming engenders beings, and that these rise and fall with intricacy. So this is what it's like when we get back to the source, when we're sitting, glowing white, not trying to distinguish between various undertakings. We see the 12-fold chain of causation.

[20:42]

This is one description of what Buddha saw that night under the Bodhi tree. He saw this process and when we can settle down near the source, near this arising of everything, we see this process. So he says carefully to search. Pay attention and see how naming engenders beings. So we have this wonderful habit of language. Even when there's no word sound in your thought stream still, the subtlety of naming engenders beings. even for Reid as he's starting to find grammar. Has he made a sentence yet? It's coming.

[21:45]

There's this subtle naming. As we're sitting, there's this subtle naming and it engenders being, it gives rise to And these rise and fall with intricacy. So as you're sitting quietly, illuminating, paying attention, being present, and there's this thought stream floating by. All the names and words and language of the decades of Maoji, or Nathan, or Kevin, or whatever the name of the being on your Krishna chair is.

[22:56]

These rise and fall, these beings, with intricacy. So the practice is not, he says, carefully discerned. This happens. It's not about trying to figure out how they fit together, why such a thought suddenly arised, aroused, erased, whatever. And maybe your language will un-language a little bit too. But discerning, it's not that you have to kind of track and trace it, figure it out. That's just more naming in beings. Just turn the light, take the backwards step. Feel this process. That naming engenders beings and these rise and fall with intricacy. So silence, illumination, does not mean that you crush and put an end to this rising and falling of these intricate names and beings.

[24:08]

It's just watching you. And right in the middle of that, there is this glow, this moon glow. So Sashin is this wonderful opportunity to hang out with this, to take time. And you know, it's not, you all know, you've all been here before, it's not a matter of just doing this once, and even doing it once and really, really getting it. It's that we're alive. And this process of naming and engendering beings is going on and on and on. And so every time you can come back here to this seat and hang out and see that that's going on. Settle. Quiet. Bring your attention and illumination, turn your light within, again, again.

[25:16]

And if you have a period of zazen where you're really sleepy and groggy and you don't feel like there's any light, that's okay. It just means you're not seeing the light there, but that's okay. This light is here. It shines from everything. So this is not even just moonlight. I mentioned that why I like Van Gogh so much is that, at least for me, I feel like in each brush stroke, in each bit of wheat field or cypress tree or whatever, each bit of the landscape, I feel light shining forth. And I feel like that's really what where we live. And I can't talk about this except during Sesshin. And it's too much to talk about it during the first day of Sesshin, but we've only got three days.

[26:23]

Some of you are here two days, so dive in. The water's fine. We have this wonderful space to do this together. Turn the light with it. Pay attention in this gentle, steady, generous way to this whole intricate process of naming and gendering being and of your own return, your attention. He keeps going. Maybe I'll just spend the whole three days on this paragraph. He says, when you can share yourself, then you may manage affairs. And then you have the pure seal that stamps the 10,000 forms. So, you might hear that as, well, if you've done this enough so that finally, eventually, sometime later on, you can actually share and express this glow, this process, this illumination.

[27:38]

But actually, it's happening already. All of you are already doing this. from the beginning of our practice, there is the sharing of the self. And all of you in the room here, I know, are doing this. More than just a little. When you can share yourself as you have been, then you may manage affairs. So we don't always manage affairs impeccably. This is the place from which we make our effort to manage all the complicated, intricate, often troubling affairs of the world, of our lives. This is not just some exotic, esoteric process that we come and do for two or three days at the synagogue, but actually this

[28:40]

has to do with everything in your life, everything. So when you can share yourself, when you can just be this light that is turning within you and without you, then you may manage affairs and you have the pure seal that stamps the 10,000 forms. This is very important. how do we, this word seal, this also means mudra, like the hand position that we use in zazen, but it also is this buddha mudra, this uprightness, this training in this process of turning the light within, of breathing in and breathing out from this glowing, of being able and willing to continue to gently pay attention to the intricacy of the forms and thoughts emerging from this source.

[29:53]

This whole process is this seal, this mudra. And you have this pure seal that stamps the 10,000 forms. So this is the vital part of our process that I want to try and see if I can find how to talk about more. There are the 10,000 forms, I mean, it's just the whole world, the whole universe, everything. And it includes the things immediately around us, the cushions, chairs, our mudra, our posture. the time, the so-called time on the clock, on our watches, and the time when we'll be going down to have lunch in the cafeteria.

[30:56]

And at lunch, the forks and knives and spoons and cups and plates. I haven't talked about this before, because we're not doing Oyoki practice where we sit and eat in the meditation hall, but still, downstairs in the dining room, we can treat the plates and forks with respect. Try to eat quietly and not make so much noise. Respect the plates and the forks. So it's much easier to eat quietly with chopsticks and lacquered bowls than with forks on plates. So you don't have to, you know, be obsessive about it or anything, but just pay attention. So this is the food that the Cynical kindly serves us is, you know, one example of the 10,000 forms that will meet us.

[32:01]

And bring our attentive illumination of the source and our willingness to just hang out with the intricacy of the 10,000 things arising. Bring that to each thing. So, Hamsa then says, traveling in the world, meeting conditions, the Self joyfully enters Samadhi in all delusions and accepts its function, which is to empty out the Self, so as not to be full of itself.

[33:12]

So this is a pretty funny sentence. He says, traveling the world, meeting conditions. Hongzhi himself, once he settled on his mountain where he taught, didn't leave for, I don't know, 30 or 50 years. Except like the week before he died, he went down to the foot of the mountain to visit all the patrons who used to come up to the mountain to say goodbye to him. So his traveling the world was, you know, going around the monastery. So I'm getting ready to, I'm not going to where Hongshu taught, but I'm going on Wednesday to travel the world, go back to China to see where Zhaozhou taught, Bodhidharma's cave. But really, it's enough to just travel around in Chicago. It's plenty. And to meet conditions. And then he says, the self joyfully enters Samadhi in all delusions and accepts its function.

[34:18]

So this is a reference to the self-fulfilling Samadhi, which we've talked about and sometimes chant. So this Samadhi is just to settle. Everything I've talked about here, up to here, and after here, is just about this settling, Ah, samadhi of serene illumination, quiet, brightness. And he says, the self joyfully enters this samadhi in all delusions. So again, this enlightenment, this light is not about getting rid of all of our confusion and greed and anger. That's some idea that It's really kind of harmful. The point is, how do we nurture and settle into and appreciate and really enjoy this process of allowing the light to shine forth?

[35:31]

Again, settling, it doesn't have to be flashing. It doesn't have to be neon. It doesn't have to be sunlight. It doesn't even have to be moonlight. Just this little light of mine. And we let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. So the self joyfully enters the samadhi in all delusions, amidst the intricacy of the naming that engenders beings that we can start to look at and carefully discern, not to figure it out, not to kind of make judgments about it, but just to be present with this naming that engenders beings. As we loosely scrutinize this image, right there, in all delusions, the self joyfully enters samadhi and accepts its function.

[36:37]

So the jijiji of samadhi, the self of long samadhi, is the self accepting its function. We each have an assigned seat in the Zen book. We each have a particular job to do in this session. Some people's job includes ringing the bell or something like that, but really our job is just to be Taigen, or Baoji, or Myoshi, or Mary. Not to be someone else, just to accept your function. this intricate pattern of naming and being. And then he says about this, the self joyfully enters Samadhi in all delusions and accepts its function which is to empty out the self so as not to be full of itself. So we study the self to let go of the self.

[37:42]

carefully discern the way in which our own thought streams give rise to the myriad beings. And we don't try and make that into something. We don't try and reify that, or hold on to that, or evaluate that, or make adjustments to that, or fix it, or make it a better pattern of discernment. We just let go. Empty out the self. so as not to be full of itself, of ourselves. When we let go, there's, of this self, this function we're doing. It doesn't mean getting rid of. It just means empty. It's already empty, actually. There's nothing, really nothing to turn off. Just pay attention to the way in which the self is emptying itself of itself.

[38:52]

That's the craft from which the light shines. So I'm about halfway, a little more than halfway through this paragraph tonight. There's so much in here tonight. Maybe we will just spend all three days on this. But he's just saying the same thing over and over again. And he's turning it a little. Let go. It's okay to be this person in a Krishna chair. It's more than okay. It's what is. And as we settle and see how we're creating all kinds of things, notions and ideas, categories and evaluations of many beings.

[39:56]

Again, it's not that we try and destroy that, it's just that there is this really helps to enjoy your breathing. Through all the intricacy of the naming of the beings emerging from the source, and of the light emerging from the source, just to inhale, just to exhale, can bring us back to this settling place. It's all actually quite natural. And most of the time for most people, we're running around out there in the world trying to take care of the ten thousand things and manipulate this and manipulate that and arrange this and arrange that and it might be all very well-meaning,

[41:19]

and might be all actually very helpful and productive, and it's not that you shouldn't do that, but this is a time to put that aside and just appreciate this process of settling in quiet illumination. It's very natural, he says, after saying the function is to empty out the self so as not to be full of itself. He says, the empty valley receives the clouds. The cold stream cleanses the moon. Just to receive the clouds. various thoughts and feelings, like an empty valley.

[42:21]

Of course, the valley is not empty. It's full of trees, grass, all kinds of critters, flowers, water. Yet, it empties itself out to receive the clouds, to receive the moisture. The cold stream cleanses the as it flows down into the lakes and so forth. This thought stream of ours is how the moonlight becomes clean of all the accretions of ancient poems and actually enters into the moonlight right here in this room. Not departing and not remaining far beyond all the changes, you can share yourself without attainment or expectation.

[43:34]

So if you're trying to Express your Zen practice in the world. Don't expect anything. That's extra. Feel your breathing. So you don't have to. So just to be in session and settling into this. It doesn't even matter whether the talk's being recorded or not. It's just, here we are. No attainment, no expectation. Everything everywhere comes back to the old and ground. Not a hair has been shifted, bent, or raised up. Despite a hundred uglinesses or a thousand stupidities, the upright cauldron is naturally beneficent.

[44:41]

So that's what I was going to talk about. So we'll save that for tomorrow. How this practice is the upright cauldron, the alchemical quality of this practice. Then he mentions two sayings from Zhaozhou. We've been studying on Thursday night. Zhaozhou's answers, wash out your bowl and drink your tea, do not require making arrangements. From the beginning, they have always been perfectly apparent. thoroughly observing each thing with the whole eye is a Zen practitioner's spontaneous conduct. So I got to the end of the paragraph, but we'll talk more about the last part tomorrow. So please enjoy this wonderful opportunity of just quietly hanging out together. Pay attention. Gently feel the light in everything.

[45:51]

Enjoy everything.

[45:54]

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