for seven days, cooking and treating each other, and sitting together, going through our personal dramas on the cushion. And I've been talking, with everybody else, I've been talking about commenting on stories, illustrations of Enlightenment stories. The officers of the monastery from Dogen Zenji's Shingi, Chiji Shingi. Chiji means the officers and Shingi So today, well, I just want to say, Rohatsu Sashin commemorates Shakyamuni Buddha's enlightenment.

[01:49]

So we will have a ceremony. and the stories that I'm going to comment on today are examples of enlightenment. So it's hard for me to actually decide which story to talk about, but this is the one I've chosen, and if I have time, I'd like to do more, because they all dovetail into each other. So anyway, you know, in the old monasteries in China, they had grinding mills. They ground their own flour and their own rice and made their own meals from scratch.

[02:59]

understanding of the Miller. Zen Master Fa Yuan, of course he was not the Zen Master then, but actually he was. Zen Master Fa Yuan of Mount Wuzhou, his province, studied with Priest Haihai Shudan of Mount Akurun. He inquired about the Great Matter and deeply penetrated bone and marrow. which means that he was a really good student, and he had really good understanding, and he was enlightened, and he was the miller. Xu Dan appointed him to be the chief miller. Every year, Fa Yuan collected money by selling rice and wheat bran, and earned interest by lending the money. I'm not sure if that's correct, but probably so. He hired workers with this money to do temple improvements and put the rest in the temple treasury.

[04:36]

So he was, you know, really, his work really supported the monastery. But one day, someone made an accusation about him to Xu Dan, his teacher, and said, every day, Fa Yuan drinks wine. and entertains the farmer's wives, and young women in the mill. You know, nowadays we have men and women practicing together. In those days, there was no such thing. So he bought... So the entire temple was stirred up.

[05:40]

Hearing this, Fly Yuan purposely bought meat and wine, and he hung them up on the wall of the mill. He bought cosmetic powder and gave them to the farmer's wives and the young women. When the monks came to the middle, Fa Yuan took the young women's hands, teasing them and laughing without any sign of shyness. Xu Dan one day called him to the Abbot's room and asked him, Is this true? Why are you doing this? Fa Yuan said nothing but, Xu Dan slapped his face. He didn't say, no, I didn't do this. No denial.

[06:42]

No self-denial. So Xu Dan slapped his face, but Fan Yuan did not fringe. He bowed and started to leave, and Xu Dan yelled I need to settle my account first and find someone to take over my position." Later, Fa Yuan came to Xudan and he said, I paid for the wine and the meat that is hanging in the middle and put 300 plus 1,000 cen, which is So Xu Dan was surprised, and he thought, well, you know, there's something really funny going on here. I know I should be trusting him, and I can see that he's being honest and trustworthy, and realized that the accusations came from the jealousy of pagan minds.

[07:52]

So it's one thing and far worse to be accused of something you didn't do, and how you keep your dignity in the face of this. We are so easily moved by criticism. So the mill, this is Dogen. Well, at Shudan's community, Zen Master Yuan Tong, Fazu Ishuzo, He accepted an offer to be abbot of Mount Simeon, so he asked Thayuan to be the shuso of his new place. This is just a kind of, someone recognized his ability. He was a person of superior character and dignity, and an excellent example of an egoless person. So the mill, or milling cottage, takes care of pounding the rice and grinding the flour.

[09:00]

and grind the flour. That was his job. It's very similar. The mill or milling cottage takes care of pounding rice. And if you go to the Sixth Ancestor's Temple in China, which I haven't done, but I know that you can go there, there's a stone there which they say has the knee print. They do that in China. He accepted an offer to be the abbot at Mount Simeon and so forth. So the miller, our milling cottage, takes care of pounding rice and grinding flour. It is located five or six chou from the temple building. The miller takes care of it by himself. This was Fa Yuan's position. In the past, people with way mind filled this position, and those who were unsuited also filled this position. But nowadays, it's hard to find those who have the way mind. such people, and sometimes it is not.

[10:23]

The world is becoming more crude. And of course, what a pity, this is how we implement it. So, he says, when we observe old Buddha Faiyuan's practice, there's nothing that can compare with it, either in the past or in the present. It is like the colors of peach and plum, the purity of pine and cypress. Winter wind does not break it, and frost and snow do not impinge pinch on it. This means flexibility is the key to enlightenment. We are so rigid. When something comes our way, we just get hit with it and fall over. We don't know how to bend with the wind. This is my experience of how inflexible people are, which I have to deal with all the time.

[11:44]

I mean, it's almost impossible to be like this for everybody. To actually be able to accept false accusations against you in this way without blaming somebody else. Not blaming anybody, just taking it and seeing how If you are totally dependent on honesty and integrity, that quality will, and a little cleverness, that quality will sustain you. My experience, is that the truth always wins out. That's been my experience of 85 years.

[13:06]

So, winter wind does not break it, frost and snow does not impinge on it. We can see how diligent his study of the way was. We can see how lofty his sincerity was. Those who come later should not give up Fahiman's practice was extraordinary. You should take a look at this and try to make an effort in this direction. The depths of the old way-mind's teachers can be realized through this kind of determination. The more we observe, the higher and more solid we know it is. And this is what we should yearn for. So this is a story, a short story, about arrogance, the first kind of arrogance.

[14:39]

As I keep saying, there are three kinds of arrogance. The first one is the arrogance of Here's an example of someone while serving as the Kansu. This is a little bit funny for me to understand. Kansu was, in those days, the assistant director. Sometimes the Kansu was the director because that person did everything. But then as the monasteries became bigger and needed more officers, they divided the Kansus duties into different departments. So probably a small monastery with not too many students.

[15:45]

So this young, he'd only been there three years, and he was already the Kansu. But here's an example of someone while serving as the Kansu who clarified the great matter. Mr. Zhuangzi was once filling the position of Kansu in the community of Fa Yan. One day, Fa Yan said, Kansu, how long have you been with us? And Zhuangzi said, I've been in your community for three years. Fa Yan said, you are a junior person in a monastery. So that's what the little congress said. How come you never ask questions? Faiyan said, by what words did you enter that place?

[16:56]

And Xuanzang said, when I asked the master, Qingfeng, what is the self of the practitioner? He said, the fire boy seeks fire. In other words, or you could say the lamp boy seeks fire, a person who takes care of the fire, lamps in the monastery. Faiyan said, oh, those are good words. but I'm afraid you didn't understand them." Xuanzang said, the fire boy belongs to fire. Fire seeking fire is just like the self seeking the self or Buddha. Fayan said, indeed you didn't understand. If the Buddha Dharma was like that, it wouldn't have come down to this day. Xuanzang was greatly upset and stood up and left. But on the way, he thought, Fayan is the teacher of 500 monks.

[17:59]

He didn't approve of me. But what he said should be correct. That was his first enlightenment experience. So he turned back and apologized. That was his second enlightenment experience. Fayan said, well, why don't you ask me? So the next story is about someone who is the opposite, someone who not thinks they have the answer, but wants to get the answer, greedy for the answer, and wants the teacher to give him the answer. Zen master Fa Hui, a non-Yankee, in Yuan province, was studying with Chi Ming.

[19:09]

Chi Ming, Si Ming, moved to the monasteries of Lan Yuan and to Dao Wu, and then to Xishuang. He kept moving from one place to another. This is not uncommon, trying to get it from somebody. Fa Hui assisted the master. and directed the monastic affairs in all these places. Although he was with a master for a long time, he had not yet developed insight. Every time he went to ask questions, he may have said, oh, there's a lot of work to do in the kitchen. Why don't you go over there, please? So go away. At other times, he would ask again. And Si Ming would say the same thing. Or he would say, Kansu, someday your descendants will fill the world. What's the hurry? So there was an old woman who was living near the monastery.

[20:19]

People could not measure her. She is now known as Si Ming's old woman. Whenever Siming had time, he would visit her. It rained one day when Siming was on his way to visit the old woman. And they had these little pads, wooden dirt pads. So Feng Hui was hiding, set himself to hide in the narrow path and watch to see what the teacher was doing with this old woman. He saw Siming coming and grabbing him and said, old man, Otherwise I'll hit you. Si means a kanzu. If you understand this affair, you can take a break. So affair has a double meaning. It means this thing is happening, or it means enlightenment.

[21:21]

So if you understand this affair, you can take a break. or relax. Before Si Ming had finished speaking, Fang Hui had a great awakening. Or at least he had an awakening. He threw his body on the muddy ground and made a prostration. He stood up again and said to Si Ming, what is this meeting on a narrow path? I like that. What is this meeting on a narrow path? This meeting on a narrow path is you're here, I'm here, There's no way around it. Something has to happen right now. Si Ming said, move over. Move over, I'm going somewhere. So Fang Hui went back to the monastery. And the teacher went where he was going to see his old lady.

[22:26]

So the following day, he dressed formally. and went up to the abbot and bowed formally to thank him. This is a kind of initial awakening called Shogo. The great awakening is called Daigo. So we went back to the monastery and the following day he dressed formally and went up to the abbot and bowed formally to him. Later that day, later there, I'm sorry, later there was a day for Shosan, you know what Shosan is, we're going to have a Shosan ceremony for the people in Shishin, where the students ask the teacher a question, a formal ceremony, questioning the abbot. The monks waited for a long time, they all came into the Zendong,

[23:31]

Fenghui asked the Anjia, his attendant, this is a day for show song. Why are you not hitting the drum? The Anjia said, the abbot went away and has not come back yet. Fenghui followed the abbot's path, the narrow trail, to the old woman's place and saw Si Ming there. Si Ming with burning firewood and the old woman was cooking gruel. Master, this is a day for shosan. The entire community has been waiting quietly for you. Why don't you come back?" Simin said, if you can give me a turning word, then I will return. This is meeting on the path without any deviation. Otherwise, everyone should go east and west or wherever they want to go. The community can just go where they want.

[24:47]

So Feng Wei put his head on his head and took a few steps. Xi Ming was greatly pleased, and they went back together. You understand? When you understand, you don't get it. Did you say again what he did? Yes, he put his head on his head and took a few steps. Nothing complicated at all. That's about as simple as you can get. It's not so difficult. It's in every step. The dragon's jewels are in every step, in each wave, in this wave, in the next wave. Where do you find it? the monastery, Feng Wei would have the drum yet to assemble the monks.

[26:02]

In other words, he's going, beat the drum, so he has to stay here. So one time, Qi Ming left, and he came back late at night. And he was a little angry, and he said, Where do you find a regulation for giving formal instruction at night in a small temple such as this? And finally he said, we got this from Fumio, your teacher. Please don't say that this is against regulations. Nowadays in the monasteries, there is shosan after ninjutsu. Ninju is a ceremony which announces the end of the five-day week, and there's a ceremony, and then the monks have a day to wash their clothes and take care of stuff.

[27:23]

We call it, it's not a day off exactly, but it's a personal day. three and eight days. When I go to Tassahara, I usually use three and eight days as work days. And so the shosan is sometimes, in that monastery, probably in Japan, they have shosan after ninju. So that's just to kind of... The main thing is, he put his head on his head and took a few steps. So what does that mean? It means everything was gone. He didn't need to ask any more questions. He could not get anything from the abbot. The only thing that he could get from the abbot was himself. And the abbot kept pointing to himself.

[28:26]

Go in the kitchen. Go do something in the kitchen. Go do something over here. Stop asking me questions. So this is a person who is dependent So we do want to know, right? We want to know, but we can't know by knowing. You can only know by doing. We want to abstract everything and have the knowledge because we depend on our head. This is where we keep pointing to this place, but actually it's here. The teacher points you to here, and you keep pointing to here. Why doesn't the teacher's words match my idea? Because the teacher is pointing to here, but you don't want to hear it. Because it interferes with our self-centeredness.

[29:37]

Anything that challenges our ego will put up our defenses. So we become a stiff tree instead of a flexible branch. It's just simply how you live your life. A stiff tree always gets pushed over in the wind. and then it comes back up. So, this is hard because we are so egotistical, selfish, self-centered, overzealous. It's natural. People say, well, I'm just natural. I'm just being natural. Yes, this is being natural. It's human naturalness.

[30:49]

Human naturalness, human nature. Buddha, the Dharma, takes away our ego, and we fight like hell for it. As soon as we want to let go, all of the And then we become even more attached. Because we identify with the ego as ourself. What are you? Point to yourself. Well, I'm all my feelings. I'm all my thoughts. But actually, yes, that's true.

[31:53]

There's something beyond our feelings and our thoughts that we're attached to. You know, we identify with the self. The reason why, one reason why we are afraid to die is because we are attached to our self. And we see our self as separate. We are separate, but we don't see our self as one with. as one with birth and death. Birth is something that we love. Death is not something that we love, unless we love it. But we don't usually love it. It's just the inevitable other side of birth. And we do it. We have to let it happen. And it's called flexibility.

[33:13]

So what is born and dies is our ego. And we feed it. We feed it through our eyes. And then if I don't treat it, who am I? So it takes courage. It takes courage to practice actually. Maybe not to go through the motions, but to actually practice. It takes courage, because it means letting go. You know, there's this koan on stepping off the hundred foot pole. When you get to the top of the pole, You can't stay there. This is the fireboy story. The fireboy thought he was at the top of the pole.

[34:16]

But then his teacher showed him that he had to step off. He thought he knew everything. But when you step off, you let go of everything, and then you know everything. You don't know everything until you know nothing. So we depend on, what do we depend on? That's a great question. I think that's a good koan for everybody. What do I depend on? And you can use that all your life. What do I depend on? So compassion about the suffering that's caused by our self-centeredness and our rigidity and our inability to be flexible.

[35:31]

These are the causes of suffering. There are many more, but basically, Buddha bad, right or wrong. It's a kind of suffering. You know, in the Dhammapada, which is the simplest of all Buddhist, and one of the earliest Buddhist books, it says, he insulted me, he hit me, he did this to me, he did that to me. So until we can give that up, we're really stuck. No matter how good our practice is, if we can't give that up, it doesn't amount to anything.

[36:33]

Blame and fame. Do you have a question? Thank you. I'm curious about the distinction between blame and disappointment. It feels like blaming has a judgment. Yes.

[37:43]

Just be disappointed. Should I have expectations? No. Just be disappointed and let go of your expectations. Did you ever do Zazen with expectations? From time to time. I can't hear you. From time to time. Yeah, don't do it anymore. James? This is the second story you've told us about Vai-Yi. in a very provocative way. And the story is told to kind of showcase that. Kind of what? Kind of showcase that provocative provocation in a sort of approving manner. case, the student was dependent on the teacher.

[38:57]

And the teacher pointed to him. But the student didn't get it. The student actually threatened to hit him, right? And he did hit him. No, only one at a time, please. In the second story, when he hears that there's a rumor about him, he goes out... No, no, that's the first story. Well, the story a couple of days ago. What? He goes out, he buys some wine, he buys some meat, he buys cosmetics, he hangs out with these women, and it's sort of like challenging the norms In other words, he wasn't defending himself directly.

[40:06]

He wasn't saying, no, I didn't do that. When he was accused, he didn't say, no, I didn't do that. There was no self to defend. And he even accentuated it. He even accentuated it, yes. He accentuated the story. He said, this is, you know, Here's this story that's being told about me, right? But he didn't say, I didn't do it. He said, you have to see what's happening here. And so this was, you know, a kind of stroke of genius because he created this drama which everybody can see through without him having to deny anything. of the accusations about drinking, well, how about this?

[41:10]

We can do that or not do that, but how about this? What you're doing, just flips it right over. I don't see the two acts as equal or provocative. I think the story from a couple of days ago was that he got into the storeroom and got noodles and oil, and that was an act of, I heard it not as- That's a different story, yes. That it's an act of, I heard it as Tenzo wanting to please people with their food as an act of ego. And that's not provocation so much, and he got booted out for the expression of ego, and this one is, yeah, if you say so. If you say so, yes. If you say so, that's the story. If you say so. Thank you. So it sounds to me like it's more about if there's something that occurs, it's more about how we respond to it or where we bring our ego in.

[42:18]

Let's say this guy says, well, he keeps smacking me every time I walk in there. And you keep saying, he keeps smacking me. Well, that has some ego in it. But if he views it as, well, he keeps smacking me, And I'm like, you can smack, so I'm not gonna do it anymore. I'm not gonna go there anymore. So it feels to me like that if there is something that doesn't really seem to work well, whether you, where you go with that, it doesn't mean you have to still engage in that, but it's how you disengage with it. Well, no. Darn it. It's not about escaping. It's about facing. It's about how you physic, not how you escape from it. The way we escape is by blaming. That's an attempt, but it doesn't work. If you don't blame and just say, eh, you know I don't want to get smacked anymore so I'm not going to stand in that spot.

[43:21]

Well, you know, this is speculation. I don't want to get into speculation. I can easily get sucked into doing that, but I'm not going to. Yes? We talked actually about taking blame in our Wednesday night group, and the character in this story took blame very overtly to show that it didn't matter to him. In our modern world, it seems that we have to take blame by stealth, was something that came up, so that people don't lay on us the burdens of the world and to carry them, but at the same time we recognize taking responsibility doesn't burden us with responsibility, if that makes sense.

[44:28]

What was the first thing you said? That we were talking about taking blame stealthily. you know, he took it plainly and clearly, where everyone could see it. Yeah, okay. That's what I said. Yes. But he didn't exactly take it. He acknowledged it. In other words, there was no blame, really. Right? So, there was no blame for him to take, because he didn't actually do that. So it makes it even more complicated. It's something that he didn't do, but he was not going to say, I didn't do it. There's another story. And that is there was a prince in Japan, China. And he had a sword, a kind of famous sword.

[45:30]

In those days, they had famous swords. And someone took it. The sword disappeared. And his men went out and searched around, and they found this person who had the sword. And so they brought the guy with the sword in, and they said, this is the guy, and here's your sword. And the prince said, that's not my sword. It's his. There is no sequel to the story. I think that falls a little short.

[46:31]

What were you going to say? It was just that, didn't he get kicked out, though, after his theatrical assumption of... Oh, no. Oh, I missed that then. You did. I wonder if you would say a few more words about Fire Boy Seeks Fire. Like what? I mean like, what? In what way?

[47:32]

Well the story tells us what it's not. It's not the self belongs to the self, right? That's what the you know, it's not so complicated. It's when way-seeking mind is the mind that seeks fire, the mind that... Buddha seeks Buddha. What we're looking for But when the student wants the teacher to tell him the secret, there's no secret to tell him. So he's barking up the wrong tree. And this is what the teacher is telling him. You're barking up the wrong tree. It's not here. It's over there. I mean, it's here. So you should put the two stories together.

[48:38]

You should let the fireboy go in the right direction. So, you know, we're always looking for something out there, but it's really here. But that was Xuanzhe, Xuanzhe? Is his name Xuanzhe? Xuanzhe. That was Xuanzhe's first thought, that's what he told the teacher, that, well, the self seeks the fire where you already are. So the flier voice said, you have the right answer. The teacher gave him the right answer. He said, I have the right answer. I got it from him. He said, if that was the right answer, the Dharma wouldn't have lasted.

[49:40]

He just said, that was his soul meat. But doesn't he also say, the student, the way I heard it was, the self belongs to the self. And that's why it's the wrong understanding. Because there's not two selves. He makes this separation. No. No, that's not how you look at it. The problem is arrogance. It had nothing to do with the story. It's not about the story being right or wrong. It's that he didn't understand it. If he did not have arrogance, he would have understood the story. That's what makes it such an interesting story. It's not like he didn't know the answer. He just didn't understand the answer that he thought he had. He said, well, I got the answer from my teacher, but he didn't get it from himself. But the answer itself was correct.

[50:42]

That's why when he went back, he said, well, you tell me. I'll tell you. He said, why don't you tell me the story? The story was all correct. Even though he thought he had it, this is arrogance. He thought he had it, so he didn't have to talk to the teacher anymore. He said, well, I got it over there, you know, so he thought. He was in the monastery. Why do I have to talk to you? I'm here, and the food is good, you know, and the teacher says, how's that? And he floated around, you know, out of my arrogance. I know as much as he does.

[52:16]

Even if they did, it doesn't matter. But because he doesn't know how to relate to the teacher, means that he doesn't have enlightenment. Because he doesn't know how to talk to the abbey, and how to relate, means he's not an enlightened person. Right there. You understand that?

[52:40]

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