as a kind of warm-up I want to say what I have said before, which is that the life of awakening, the path of awakening, you know, in terms of like complete perfect awakening, is to live by deeds of compassion. and loving kindness for all beings in our daily life. That's so simple, right? That was easy for me to say that. And in the process of living like that, in order to be able to live like that, we also need to study ourself.

[01:09]

So the life of making our daily life acts of compassion goes together with study of ourself. often spoken of, of wisdom, compassion. We can practice compassion without much wisdom, although even considering practicing compassion is pretty wise. But still, as we try to practice compassion, if we don't have wisdom, we run into, yeah, we run into fear of personal pain, we run into obsessive aversion and desire.

[02:15]

And if we don't study ourselves these obsessive desires and aversions and fears of personal pain, they can hinder, obstruct, distract us from the simple practice to every being we live with. And I would just guess that what I just said was easily understood. I mean, it made sense to you. Any questions about that? So the hard part actually is the study of the self. If you understand yourself, the compassion practice will be natural, easy, and if I study myself,

[03:23]

practicing compassion towards every being will be easy and natural and unobstructed and joyful. If I don't study myself, I may have some difficulties. Well, I will have difficulties, for sure. If I don't study myself, I won't understand myself. If I don't understand myself, I won't understand the pivotal activity of myself. Myself is a pivot, and myself is constantly pivoting with not myself. I am constantly pivoting with all of you, each of you and all of you. and you are constantly me. That's our nature. But if I don't study myself I may not understand that very well or even not think it's totally bizarre perhaps if I don't study myself.

[04:36]

And then again I will be afflicted and hindered by these obsessions and compulsions which arise from a lack of wisdom, even though I still kind of remember I would like to practice compassion. Have I brought up the word Christ so far? Well, I just did. That wasn't a trick. If I say to you that I feel like I'm living in a crisis, and then I say what I mean by crisis is an environmental crisis. I'm living in an environmental crisis. I'm living in an economic crisis. I'm living in a national and world political crisis.

[05:37]

I'm living in religious crisis. Maybe you could say, yeah. Can you say yeah to that? Are you also living kind of in a crisis that way? Are you? You're not sure? Well, yeah. I guess I can obsess about that. You can obsess about that or not, yeah. Yeah. But you can also meditate on it unobsessively. Just be open to that. So anyway, the word crisis, part of the meaning of it is intense... intense, difficult, difficult, yeah, danger.

[06:52]

intense possibility of danger. And danger means harm and injury. Crisis also means a turning point, a critical point. which ties it into the pivotal point of our life. So, for me, wonderful and apropos that we would be talking about the pivotal activity of Buddhas in times of crisis. So in times of crisis, the pivotal activity of Buddhas is what brings up appropriate responses in the midst of the crisis, and particularly appropriate to peace and harmony in crisis.

[08:11]

It's not peace and harmony out in the suburbs of crisis. It's peace and harmony Turning point. It's turning at the turning point. It's pivoting at the pivotal point. And that pivotal point has the possibility of harm and injury all around it. So I'm pivoting with everything. I am receiving everything and giving myself to everything. That giving and receiving is part of the pivotal relationship I have with everything that's not me.

[09:17]

And the way everything is contributed and included in me is also the pivotal relationship. And I'm in that crisis all the time. And if I realize the pivotality, there can be a crisis. Because that pivotality is in accord with the reality of the moment of this event. I appreciate that. Then we have situations which I brought up last week and I saw to some extent some difficulty in receiving these comments and I'm gonna offer them again. Is that okay? So I proposed last week when we are in relationship to somebody or some object

[10:27]

And we cannot see that as an aspect of ourself. Can't see it like in a kind of established way, not just for a moment, but like really don't have the ability to see something as not an aspect of ourself, then we feel aversion for it. And when we cannot see ourselves as an aspect of somebody or something, we feel desire for it. And you had some difficulty with that. And even if I don't have difficulty with it, I do have difficulty being mindful of that teaching, to remember each moment, to be mindful of it in each moment.

[11:40]

Another way to put this, which might be helpful, is that everything that's not me is included in me, is given to me. I am nothing but everything that's given to me. And then when I don't see that something is given to me, I feel aversion to it. Aversion is coming up because I'm refusing to accept the gift. And the other way around is I give myself to everyone and everything. And when I don't accept that I've given myself to everything, aspect of everything, then I want myself back.

[12:45]

I want myself back. which I have actually given myself. I've given myself and now I want myself back because I don't see that I've given. But I have and I want me back. And it's obsessive because I need me back. No, I don't need me back. I need me back only because I don't realize that I've given myself. If I don't realize I've given myself, then I want it back. If I don't realize I was generous, I want the proof of my generosity to be with me. because then I feel like who I really am, namely somebody who gives himself to everybody.

[13:56]

And I feel great to have this person with me who verifies that I'm a complete person who has given himself completely to the world. And so there it is. forward difficult to understand but the way I if I have any problems with and I can work directly on that like I can look at somebody and say I cannot see myself as a form of them or I cannot see them as a form of me if I can do that then I have an opportunity to pivot from my inability to see to seeing. And I can see that I'm not pivoting.

[14:58]

I don't want to. I don't want them to be me. I don't want me to be them. I don't want to. I won't let myself. If I would hesitate for a moment and then let myself, it wouldn't be an obsession. It'd just be a momentary flicker of aversion or desire. But if I'm kind of like, I'm not going to see that I am an aspect of him. That's not going to happen. Then I will have obsessive desire for him. But I can work with that. I can be kind to that. Do the practices which are hindered by that. By hindered by that, desire or that aversion. I can still do them somewhat and I can apply the practices which are hindered by the to the obsession.

[16:04]

And another way to put it is turn it around and I can deal with the obsession, the obsessional hatred or the obsessional greed, I can deal with by being kind to me, who is the center of all this. And I can be more and more the person who will not allow himself to see himself in others and or will not allow himself to see others in himself. I can be that person more and more completely. And when I'm that person more and more completely, I will realize what I have been refusing to see. And there will be the pivotal activity of awakening. And that is, you know, that's Buddha's activity.

[17:14]

That's awakened activity, is that pivotality. Which we kind of magically can resist. We can resist what we are. I'm the center of all you, each of you is the center of all us, and we can resist that. We can say, no. People are not included in me. Some are, and they're my friends, whatever. Those who aren't, then I've got a big problem here. With something you hate. But again, it's not like to deny that you're having trouble pivoting with something you hate. It's totally be the person who's hating. And in order to be that person totally, you have to be kind to that hatred.

[18:19]

So you can totally exert the hatred. And when you do, the hatred will show itself as a pivotal phenomena with not-hatred. And then the background of the hatred, which you weren't able to appreciate, namely what you hated was something you weren't pivoting with, then you may be able to move on, pivot with that. So then the conditions for the hatred will drop away. But even before the conditions, yeah, even before the hatred drops, even before the hatred drops away, there's already a pivot there. The hatred is already pivoting with not-hatred. And I would be happy to discuss with you if when the hatred I feel I feel it completely and then I realize it's pivoting with not the hatred whether that also simultaneously realizes the pivotality of me with what I hate.

[19:25]

So there's a pivoting of the hatred and there's a pivoting with what you hate. Obsessional. There's a pivoting of the greed with not-greed, and there's a pivoting with you and what you are. And fortunately, the good news is you can notice these obsessions and compulsions. You can notice these obsessions. You can feel the pain of it. You can see how they distract you from what you want to be. And now we have a job. It's a hard job, but now we can see our job. Maybe. So now I invite you to tell me if you see your job. And also, if you want this job, What's the job again? It's the job of being an awakened being. It's the job of being Buddha.

[20:28]

That's the job. And it involves being the pivotal creature that you are. That's the job, opportunity, which I'd like to know if you want it or are ready to practice it. Yes? I want it and I don't know how to tell if I'm ready. You want it? You want to practice it? Yeah, okay. So, and I think it's okay to like check to see if I can say to myself, am I ready? And I could say, I could say, for example, I could say, mm-hmm, okay, ready. Now try it. For example, try it with the person we call Tracy. Are you ready to like, can you see yourself as an aspect Me too. I actually wasn't talking to you. But that's okay that you answered because you just pivoted with me.

[21:30]

You spoke for me. Thank you. I was asking myself and you answered before I did. That stuff happens. People are answering for you. I'm answering for you. You're answering for me. Now I ask a question for you. And my question is, do you have any questions? You asked for me, but also you also answered for me. I asked myself, am I ready? And you said yes. So I have two comments, questions. Well, you have two comments. Just a second, I'm going to put these on. Yes? I was about to say, I have two comments or questions.

[22:48]

To what kind of questions? Comments slash questions. Comments slash questions, okay. I thought maybe you said comical questions. But then I added something. I said, those questions that you're having me fit. Correct. Exactly. Yeah, that's right. Okay, you're my servant. Buddha is my servant. She asks questions for me. Oh, she asks questions for me. My comment is when you were describing that whole thing, it felt like a fairy tale, like a wonderful fairy tale that I wish I had access to. But all I could do is hear you talk about it, and it sounds so beautiful. But I felt that story that I had known Yeah, and that's another occasion for you making me more whole by pressing glass.

[24:01]

I never even thought of that. Thank you. But, you know, I was already included. That was already included in me because of you. the sense of a fairy tale and the sense of this other kind of non-fairy tale situation. Can you ask that too here? Yeah, so there's a person who thinks fairy tale, and there's a person who thinks, but I don't seem to be in a fairy tale. So I'm saying, in order to To realize the fairy tale, but to realize the pivot between not fairy tale and fairy tale, you need to do the job of being not fairy tale. Which you do have access to that, don't you? So what you have access to, access it as much as possible, up to totally.

[25:06]

Then you will not so much access the other side, not so much access the other side, but you will realize the pivotality you accessed completely and that side you couldn't access. So, whether it was obsession or whatever it was you were talking about, what I heard you say is that you do it, really want to do it, embody it or buy it, I don't know what words you're saying, that at some point there's a pivot, and then all of a sudden that's not doing anything. Well, just right there, just a slight adjustment in this situation. You see, at some point there's a pivot. The pivot is what we're resisting. So we resist the pivot and then we find ourselves abiding on one side of the pivotal relationship.

[26:10]

The pivot's already there. But when you completely inhabit one side of the pivot, you realize the pivot. It's not that at some point there's a pivot. You wake up to it. we're asleep to the pivot. And when we're asleep to the pivot, we often are on one side of a pivot. Like we're on the me side of me-other pivoting. Yes? Can I indulge in a little bit of abstraction here? Could you wait with the abstraction? Sure. And then just... I'll finish this person off. So... Yeah, so it isn't so much that if I'm in non-fairytale land, that if I'm totally in non-fairytale land, then I will be in fairyland. It's that by being... Because that wouldn't be... Fairyland can get old too. People in fairyland may be obsessively wishing that they were in non-fairyland.

[27:15]

Because people in fairyland give themselves to non-fairyland. If they ignore the pivotality, they have an obsessive desire to go to non-fairyland. So it wouldn't be that I would switch from non-fairyland to fairyland. It would be that I'd be free of non-fairyland and free of fairyland. By exerting which land? Because I'm always in man-land or woman-land, me-land or you-land, fairyland or non-fairyland. I'm always in some position Always in some position. We don't like say, okay, now switch to another position. We do that, but that's not the point. The point is, insert the position you're in and you realize that that position's in a pivotal relationship with not that position. Then you don't abide in that position or the other position. That non-abiding pivotality is where we really want to be. I want to be in my interchangeability with you.

[28:18]

I don't want to be you. But when I ignore this pivotality of us, then I get obsessive about being me or you, or being not you or not me. But if you feel some nose against the window, then we've got to do that in order to realize freedom from abiding in nose to the window. And then you realize, oh, access on the other side is here, but I'm not abiding in that either. Therefore, non-access to here, non-access is here too. Yeah, somewhat. I knew you would, because you're me, and I already do. And you can get ahead of me. I'm ahead of you now, you can get ahead of me. Okay, abstraction time. Oh, yes, you can.

[29:24]

I see a subject-object kind of situation. Yep. On one side, there's objects over there. Yep. But there's pivotal activity. Yes. And I'm wondering... A lot of it seems to be language and deception, you know. The other person over there, he hears you wrong me, I've wronged you, but I have anger. And so you're really into the one side. You know, you fully feel what's going on and study it. It's there. The commitment's always here. Is there kind of a non-conceptuality to that? Yeah, it's inconceivable. The pivoting is inconceivable because the pivoting is the process of conception and not conception. Conception, you're familiar with that.

[30:29]

Not conception is, you know, you're not so familiar with it. Not conception. But the way those are pivoting is not conception, is inconceivable. So, your access point is to work with whatever's happening at that moment, whatever your conception is. Your access point, yeah, is where is your particular position. It's your limited position where you access this freedom from your position by not abiding in it because actually you don't abide in it because you include not it. But you really have to own what you... Yes, and that's your job is to own your position. It's not my job to own your position. It's my job to own my position of rooting for you to occupy your position.

[31:31]

And I'm supporting you occupying your position. Yeah. But I can't do your position. I need you to do your position. And you do do your position, and that's how I get to have my position. And so I have this really pretty much immeasurable opportunity to be me in a moment. to be you in a moment. And that's hard to remember. Because we keep being on one side or the other and it's hard to be completely here, especially if where we are is not yet a mature wisdom, in other words, obsessive about something. So it's hard to be here when I feel these strong kind of overwhelming conditions. And I just want to say one other thing and I'll say it again and again.

[32:40]

We are living in a situation where no matter how this crisis turns we need to continue to work with it. So there are many people who will continue to need us to try to imagine that we aspect of them. Many people don't know anybody who is helping them by looking at them and seeing them as an aspect of themselves. And so they're kind of stuck in the position of, I want to call it, obsessive hatred and aversion. So many people are stuck in obsessive hate and aversion. and they need tremendous empathy and the way we give them empathy is by remembering that we want to and that'll be good.

[33:41]

But in order to do that we have to do the hard job of being ourselves which nobody's yet helping them enough to be themselves. If they could be themselves that would be great, then they could help us be ourselves. But some people do not even know yet how to be themselves and they need who will empathize with them to help them be themselves. And that's a person who is working on their own aversion and greed by being, you know, their position. Yes? I see three people. Four people. Alenia, Ted, Lisa, and Robin. And Eric. And Jeff. Yes. The word pivotal, as you're using it, does it mean to exist with?

[34:46]

Does it mean to exist with? It doesn't contradict that because... it's pivoting with something, but it emphasizes more that it's turning with it, it's changing places with it. So there's something with which we are pivoting. And we're pivoting on our nature, which is... And so it's not so much actually... Yeah, so the pivoting is not so much with as it is not abiding with. It's turning with.

[35:33]

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