As you have already heard, I started out by emphasizing or bringing up the issue of what's the most basic concern you have in your life or what is the most basic thing that you're involved with in this life and how are you working with that And practice period is a time to consider it, look at that, and get to know how that is, both noticing what is most vital and important to you and how you work with that. How did your body and mind relate to what's most important?

[01:04]

Also, in the process, you may notice how your body and mind relate to what's not most important. This kind of awareness, I hope that we have already started, and I actually hope that we continue this moment by moment throughout the whole practice period and throughout our whole life. Just sitting is an expression we use for this kind of awareness. Pure mindfulness is another expression for it. We use the word just sitting, sometimes loosely, meaning even your attempt to be working on the most basic issues of your life.

[02:24]

We also use the word just sitting for the actual realization of such work. I also had in mind for this practice period to bring up various teachings about the nature of the mind, teachings about the process by which the world of illusion arises and how we get involved and believe in that process and kinds of sufferings that are born through that process and how study of that process can be helpful and basically take us back to what I suggested in the first place, namely to realize directly

[03:50]

What's the fundamental ground of your life? In one sense, I talk about what I've been talking about first to set the ground and also as a warning. And now I say even further warning in that this kind of study that we might or might not get involved in can be an obstacle to the most important work Intellectual study can be an obstacle to the most important work of our life. So if I'm presenting material which stimulates your intellect and encourages intellectual inquiry, I want to warn you beforehand that this could be dangerous. contradictory to our fundamental vows.

[04:59]

On the other hand, if I don't present anything, as far as I know, some of you might just go right ahead and spend your time thinking anyway. But your thinking will be just sort of on your own. You won't be thinking about the teachings of these ancient masters. You'll just be thinking about your current productions, which is fine. To try not to study, to decide not to study the ancient teachings would be similar to try not to study what's going on in your mind moment by moment. That wouldn't be, either one of them would be actually the right idea. The right idea is whether you're studying traditional teachings or whether you're studying your own mind to have the right orientation. And the orientation of the ancestors, as I mentioned, is the orientation of just thinking about enlightenment in the midst of whatever is going on, to always be thinking about enlightenment.

[06:16]

But again, when I say that, the question is, what is the proper and appropriate way to think of it? If you think of it one way, you may become quite greedy and strain yourself and get sick, and so on. There's many inappropriate approaches to this search. But I even would say that if for some reason there's certain kinds of thinking that you just really, as soon as you start doing certain kinds of thinking, you may notice that, in a sense, you need to stop it. because you cannot continue your fundamental awareness that you're dedicated to when you think certain ways. So you just maybe have to get away from it somehow. If you can stop, stop, temporarily at least, until you can get your feet on the ground again and then approach the material with your feet on the ground.

[07:23]

If that's the case in this kind of study, that we're doing, like in these classes and other ways, if it bothers you, I think you could go sit in a zendo instead during this class time. You can judge that for yourself. It might happen. And I really feel OK about that. So I'm I'm literally or specifically thinking of studying a particular text written by one of our ancestors, Vasubandhu. And this text is about how consciousness evolves and creates a sense of self and other, and how in conjunction with that, the sense of self is born and how, as soon as that sense of self is born, all kinds of afflictions arise and misery arises and all kinds of other details in that misery are put forth.

[08:36]

And then there's a process discussing the nature of all these afflictions and how the actual nature of these afflictions is liberation from them. That's a text that I think I'm studying. And this text will probably be in your face now and then, like we might chant it during service and so on, but you don't have to be distracted by it. But if somehow you are, I'm sorry. You don't have to be distracted by the Heart Sutra either. And if you are, I'm sorry. But even though what I'm talking about studying is, as I just described, a text dealing with what I described, I also say that, quoting the sixth ancestor, that Zen originally has nothing to do with, well, I shouldn't say nothing to do with, Zen fundamentally or originally not concerned with mind.

[09:40]

It's not about the mind. And it's not about the mind, and yet, You may have heard that the point of Zen is to understand the mind. What it's about is not the mind, but Zen is concerned with the fundamental ground of the mind. Zen is not concerned with knowledge, any kinds of knowledge. Zen is concerned with the inherent knowledge, knowledge which is there no matter what kind of knowledge you have. Zen is concerned with what is inherent to all living beings. And what's inherent to all living beings and what's inherent to all minds is that all minds are ultimately liberated and peaceful and happy.

[10:42]

this peacefulness, this inherent peacefulness and happiness, which is permanent, is the fundamental ground of impermanent, unpeaceful misery. So I recommend the way of the Buddhism ancestors is to just be concerned with this fundamental peace, happiness, and liberation. Just be concerned with that all the time. Always be concentrating on that, no matter what you see. No matter whether you see this person or that person or that person, no matter whether you feel pain or pleasure, whether you're up or down, always be concentrating on one thing. Just concentrate on one thing, which you can call many things.

[11:55]

Nirvana, peace and happiness, same thing. It's also sometimes called the light. Just constantly think of light. Not even the light, but just think of light. But again, not light that's dependent on sense organs. Not that light. Not the light that gets dimmer when you turn these lights off, or the light that gets brighter when the sun comes up. Not the light that gets brighter when several golden Buddhas come in the room. There's a light like that. You know that light? I mean, you do, don't you? It's a light you see with your eyes, and it does get brighter in the morning, if you notice. That light you can't concentrate on all the time because it goes away. But there's another light you can concentrate on all the time because it never goes and it never comes.

[13:00]

It's just Buddha's face. And Buddha's face also doesn't come or go. And Buddha's face, although it doesn't come and go, people's faces come and go. But every face that ever comes is a kind of coagulation of this face which never comes or goes. Everybody's face is just congealed Buddha face. But because everybody's face is congealed Buddha's face, because it's congealed, it breaks up. It changes. So we watch various faces come and go. Some we're happy to see, some we're not so happy to see. Or some we're happy to see if they look a certain way, and when they look another way, we're not happy to see. And we have these ups and downs depending on what the face is looking like or saying. The bodhisattvas see these same faces, but no matter what face they see, they always think of the same thing. No matter what face they see, they always think, of bodhi.

[14:04]

And the way they think about bodhi is without putting bodhi in any abiding form. And they think about something that they can't put in an abiding form. In other words, they think of something ungraspable. In other words, they have an ungraspable mind, which is the mind which everybody, all beings have this ungraspable mind. So if you're working on this, you can run into people, teachings, newspapers, and Buddhist scriptures, and they won't throw you for a loop. And then if you don't think about this, everything will throw you for a loop in different ways, depending basically on how you grab it, depending on what you think of it. In one sense, again, we could spend the whole practice just concentrating on this one point.

[15:05]

And I think there's some merit in that. But I'm also exploring the possibility of bringing up some color. And If there's something else you want to pay attention to during this practice period other than the fundamental, inherent, all-pervasive peace and happiness, there's something else you'd like to work on and you don't want to pay attention to that, you are welcome to. You're welcome to do that. And you don't have to necessarily stand up in front of everybody and say what it is, because you may think that you'll be ostracized. And you might be. I don't know. For somebody who's working on that, it might feel like to have anybody in this community who's not is a threat.

[16:12]

you're entitled to not want to concentrate on one thing if you want not to. I was talking to someone who recently left Asahara, and that's not why she left, but she was talking about, you know, why do we sit so much, why do we have to concentrate on that so much? And she said, if I was going to design a schedule, I would have chanting and sutra reading and bowing and sitting and serving and all these wonderful activities, which we actually do have. I think she would have more bowing and a little less sitting, like maybe 20 minutes of sitting and maybe 40 minutes of bowing and 80 minutes of serving and 90 minutes of chanting. I don't know what the exact thing was, but I said, well, that'd be fine. But as far as I can tell, all the realized beings have concentrated on one thing and have been thorough about that.

[17:20]

I know of no stories of people who have not entered the way by thoroughly concentrating on one thing. Once you realize thoroughness, once you realize the ground, then you can do whatever. And you can like sprout 15 heads and 1,000 eyes in each and do all kinds of fancy stuff. And everything will be totally in accord with one thing. Because it'll all come from one thing, and you'll understand that. But before you reach this ground, it may be that if you do two things or three, that you won't be able to be thorough on three. But that doesn't mean that you don't do all these different things, because we do. It just means that whatever you're doing, you're always doing one thing. You understand that. That's your commitment. But again, if you don't make that commitment, you say, actually, I'm going to try to be, I'm going to actually go the path of doing six things and I'm not going to be thorough at any of them.

[18:30]

I'm going to try that. That's what I'd like to try. May I be allowed? The answer is yes. At this point, anyway. Bodhidharma would not have said yes. Bodhidharma would have said, you know, go down the street. Bodhidharma said, set absolutely everything aside and just concentrate on one thing. So that's what he did. He went and faced the wall for nine years. Not because he had to sit and face the wall for nine years, but because he had to do one thing for nine years. Or not for 90 years, or a million years, or for one second. One second is long enough if you go all the way. Nine is a symbol for all the way. It's all the way with a dent in it. Ten is kind of all the way, right? But not to be too rigid about what all the way means in terms of a number.

[19:34]

You say nine years. It means all the way. So no matter what's happening, each moment, it's your job and my job to be completely thorough about what's happening right now. In that state, we study Buddhist scriptures, and in that state, we study everyday life. In that state, we can learn best. You can also learn from being half-hearted, or third-hearted, or 90%-hearted. You can learn in other situations, because you can learn by mistakes. You can learn how inefficient that is, how much trouble you get in from that, and all that kind of thing. You can learn from that. But to actually realize yourself, you have to go 100%. You can't hold back. Because that's the kind of thing we are. Everybody is 100% who they are. Nobody is a little bit like they are. Nobody.

[20:35]

And that's difficult for people. There's some people you may know who you wish they were a little less the way they are. It's very difficult that they're just exactly that way. They also would probably sometimes wish that they could be somebody else or a little bit less like themselves. You wouldn't be able to find them, and we tried that. So this kind of like ungraspable, innate, awakened nature of all beings, that's something which each one of us will, for the rest of our lives, try to develop the appropriate relationship with.

[21:39]

I mean, again, I'm not trying to talk anybody into anything. But I am trying to encourage you. I'm trying to encourage you. I'm trying to give you the courage to do what I think you want to do. But not so much what I think you want to do. But I'm just encouraging you to do what you want to do. So the appropriate relationship with your true nature is characterized, we call it, we say it's the middle way. The middle way is the appropriate relationship with your true nature. We also say don't turn away and don't touch. Or don't identify, like if I say our inherent nature is peace and happiness, and when you hear that, then don't identify with it. But also, don't isolate yourself from it.

[22:57]

What's the dance you do at that? That's what we're all struggling with right now, or not struggling with. We're stepping on our feet, or we're smoothly dancing now. Working on this is deepening faith. getting more fluent in your faith. So again, and again, I will mention this because this is the context in which the appropriate study will occur. So when you're sitting, if we're studying a text here or if you're studying a koan, zen story or whatever, you don't necessarily go into zendo and think of some phrase of teaching. You don't necessarily think of a zen story. Now, some people think that's the way you do it, that you take a zen story and you meditate on it.

[23:58]

You go sit down and you draw the story up to your mind. And in fact, Zen students do do that. I mean, they sit down and they draw a Zen story up into them. They try to remember, now, what story am I working on? And they do that. Or they try to remember, what am I meditating on? Oh, yeah, my breath. So they try to draw their breath to the mind. Or what am I meditating on? Oh, I'm studying myself. So they draw their self to the mind. People practice that way. You've heard about that probably, right? which is fine as a kind of expedient. But this is not dealing directly with the fundamental because the Zen stories and your breath and so on are just objects. The way to approach the fundamental is set everything aside but the fundamental, including set aside what you think the fundamental is.

[25:04]

to set actually everything aside and deal directly with what's happening, including setting aside what you think is happening. It doesn't mean pushing it away. It means set it aside. So if you want to go into meditation period and you want to bring up something, you can do that. It is what he called, this is not a fascist state, really. I want to say that over and over. You can think about whatever you think about, because in fact, I mean, I tried to control myself for a while. And I told you before, I managed to actually get myself under control at one point for some period of time. And I realized once I was under control that that's not why I came to study then. It was not peace and happiness. However, I was under control. Huh? I mean, I got my mind to focus on what I decided my mind should be focused on.

[26:08]

And I completely did that without any variation. That's what I mean. But I found that to be an oppressive situation with no humor and just unpleasant. Not just unpleasant, but just, you know, brutal. And I had to be brutal to get myself there. I had to say to myself, no, I'm not kidding. If you don't concentrate on this, there are going to be consequences. And I'll give you a few examples. I'll give myself an example. I'm not going to give you the examples. But they were ugly. But I didn't, it wasn't actually, they weren't as ugly as what I really felt I was going to do. They were nothing compared to what I really would feel. And there was a specter of something much more heavy that would come down on me. So I came into line. But once I was in line, I didn't like it. So I gave up that kind of practice 25 years ago.

[27:12]

It was right here that I was successful. Then I tried to do it to other people. I even tried to do it to people I ordained as priests, but I never did get any of them under control. So now I've given up trying to get myself under control. And when I was given a chance to get other people under control, I tried. I thought, well, maybe if I can't get myself under control, maybe it would be appropriate to get them under control. Even though what I wanted to do is get them under control to be like me, not trying to get themselves under control still, they wouldn't even do that. So I gave that up too. And I don't try to get them to get themselves under control either. What I try to do is to try to find out what's going on. What are they, actually? And that seems to be possible to study because, in fact, they're doing that. They are who they are. So that's actually reality.

[28:14]

It's a lot of work to keep up with things, but basically you're not fighting the situation, so it's OK. So again, when you're sitting, I think the way I feel is better to work with material is not to like bring it in the front door, but just to sit, just sit. If you're working on a koan, you say you're working on a koan, maybe when you sit, the koan will pop up in your face and say, hi, moo, or it may happen. or the koan may pop up and say, guess what? We're not working on me today. You don't know what of the point you will be taught by the people you're working on. If you're reading the Heart Sutra every morning or every three weeks you read the Heart Sutra or somebody conducts whispers of Heart Sutra in your ear now and then, if you're sitting, setting everything aside, but enlightenment, and that's all you think about,

[29:27]

in a non-conceptual way you think about it, then anything can come up. Even a Zen story that you happen to be working on, or even a scripture that you happen to be memorizing, they can come up. But oftentimes what's more helpful is when something that's not the scripture comes up, and you realize that that's actually the scripture. It's revealed to you that the tenzo, talking kind of loudly during the mid-morning zazen, that that noise that you shouldn't be hearing, that actually is the heart sutra. You understand, finally. You understand it because you're thinking of the light. That's all you ever think about. And then anything can teach you. In other words, thinking about the light means you've forgotten about yourself.

[30:31]

So everything that happens can wake you up. Even Vasubandhu's 30 verses. Karakas 17. So it's in this context that I want to offer any kind of teaching, not just this kind of rather technical, philosophical, and psychological thing, but anything I hope is offered to your mind in which you have created this just sitting mind. That you're always practicing just sitting, and then you see what comes up. And let me just say a couple things more. One is that another way to talk about what the proper relationship to this inherent fundamental nature is, proper relationship with it.

[31:43]

I already mentioned several things, right? The middle way is the proper relationship, not identifying and not turning away. But another way to talk about it is intimacy. Proper relationship is intimacy. Intimacy is you're close, but you're not identifying or smothering. You're close to it, but not smothering. Case 20 of the Book of Serenity, you know that Fa Yan comes to talk to Di Cang. Di Cang says, where are you going? He says, I'm going on pilgrimage. Guess where he's going on pilgrimage? He's going to his inherent nature. Pilgrimages go to your true self. That's where they're supposed to wind up. These bodhisattvas are seeking enlightenment. Their pilgrimages are always going to supreme enlightenment.

[32:47]

That's where he's going. So Di Cang says to Fa Yan, what's the purpose of going on pilgrimage? What's the purpose of going towards and approaching Supreme Enlightenment? And he said, I don't know. And Di Cang said, not knowing is most intimate. But that word for intimate. which is also, in Cleary's translation, is translated as near. Near. It says, not knowing is most near or nearest. But the character is Shinsetsu. Shinsetsu means kind also. It means kind in ordinary Japanese. It is the kindness of a parent towards a child. It's not the oppressiveness of a parent towards a child, it's the kindness of a parent towards a child.

[33:50]

Very close, almost the same. But some parents are very close, almost the same with their children, and they smother their children to death. They won't let their children move. They won't let their children get away. This is called closeness, but this is not kindness. So how do you be very close to something like a parent and a child, like a mother and a child, so close, almost the same thing, and give it space to run around and spit in your eye, to do projectile vomits in your face? That's the same way you should be on this pilgrimage. You should, you know, how do you take care of your children? I don't know. How do you take care of enlightenment? I don't know. This I don't know is an example of how you take care of the baby. This baby is not a baby that's dependent on you. It's your true nature. In case 98 of the Book of Serenity, somebody asked Dung Shan, among the three bodies of Buddha, which one doesn't fall into any category?

[35:03]

Which one can't you get a hold of? among the Dharmakaya Virochana Buddha, among the Sambhogakaya Lochana Buddha, among the Nirmanakaya Buddha, which one of those Buddha bodies doesn't fall into any category is totally ineffable. And he says, I'm always close to this. Our ancestors were always close to this. Do you know what this is? I don't know. What is the purpose of being close to this? I don't know. What is the point of taking care of children? I don't know. Do you want to take care of children? It's all I ever do. I'm always taking care of my baby. Never think of anything but. What's the purpose? I don't know. But if you identify with your baby, it's not good for your baby's health. If you walk away from your baby, not good for your baby's health. How do you stay close?

[36:04]

This is your work. If you want to be a bodhisattva or you want to carry on the work of the Buddhism ancestors, this is the work that they did as far as I can tell. Of course, they fell on their face sometimes. But we don't emphasize that part except to let you know that they did that. And they had confession practice, which they were doing all the time. They're always confessing. Whoops, slipped. Get back on the job. Whoops, I made a mistake. I was too tight with the baby. Whoops, I was lazy. I was distracted. I spaced out. The baby fell off the counter. But the fundamental intention is not that the baby get hurt. The fundamental intention is to take care of the baby, help it grow into a great, huge Buddha and be a happy, beneficent being in the world. What's the proper relationship? This you need to work on in your zazen all the time.

[37:09]

Then, in that context, I offer you teachings basically about how you get distracted. These teachings aren't what's distracting you. What's distracting you is you get distracted. You lose track of what you're supposed to be doing. You fall on your face. You space out. You hold too tight. That's how you get distracted. But the teachings I'm offering are about that process of distraction and why it is almost inevitable. Inevitable. So take care of yourself all the time, please, and then I won't bother you. And neither will Vasubandhu or Sangha or Nagarjuna. Then they can help you. And then you can understand why they said those strange things. Now, do you want to ask some questions? Yeah, I was wondering what you said.

[38:09]

I think in a non-conceptual way, Yes. Concern? Yes. Would be basically dedicating everything you're doing to that, would that be a way of not thinking about it? Because you also said, then we do all these thousand things. I would still try to do one thing. The spirit of just doing one thing, in fact, if you have to try it, it has to be non-conceptual, because if it's depending on anything, you're not doing it. That's one way to do it. Another way to do it is to set everything aside but this, including this. Another way to do it, as Bodhidharma says, is outwardly, don't activate your mind around objects. Inwardly, no coughing or sighing in the mind. Another way it's said, as Buddha said, train yourself thus.

[39:20]

In the heard, let there just be the heard. In the seen, let there just be the seen. In the cognized, let there just be the cognized. In the imagined, let there just be the imagined. In other words, set everything aside. Not to set everything aside except for what's happening. There's something happening. You don't mess with that. Not messing with it is setting everything aside. You just let what's happening happen. And you set everything else aside. You set aside past and future, right and wrong, everything. You just let what's happening be what's happening. When you're walking, you just walk. When you're sitting, you just sit. If when you're sitting, you just sit, in fact, you just set yourself aside. You didn't do anything for or against yourself by letting things be the way they are. But that just happens to drop yourself. That just happens to drop conception.

[40:27]

It doesn't drop conception like conception isn't happening. It drops conception like you don't try to get rid of it, you don't try to elaborate, you just let what's happening be what's happening. Then you automatically, you're not identifying or separating from the thing. One of our ancestors, you know, what's his name, Seigen Gyoshi, Gyoshi means walking and thinking, or walking thinking, or walking thinking, walking thinking. They named him that because wherever he was walking, he was always thinking about Bodhi. But the way you think about Bodhi when you're walking is you just walk. He was always thinking about it. Walking also means practicing and going forward and practicing. He was always practicing thinking of Buddha. That's non-conceptual.

[41:30]

You can make that into a conception, but then you know that's not it, right? Or if you don't know, check it out with somebody like me, and I'll tell you that's not what we mean. That'll be that. OK? So right now I'm talking to you, I'm whipping around in the realm of conceptions very nicely, just like you are, I suppose. If anybody's not, that's fine too. But that's also whipping around in the realm of conception. Not being in the realm of conception is in the realm of conception. Non-conceptual means you just let whatever conceptions be the conception. When imagination is just imagination, when conception is just conception, that's non-conception. That's non-conceptual conception. That's selfless practice. The literature suggests that our ancestors have often done a lot of work on developing their concentration and their awareness.

[43:00]

Well, putting aside the ancestors, it seems to me that... They have done a lot of work on that, yes. It is very hard for me to understand what you're describing. It is hard. Without doing... working on, doing work on developing concentration and developing awareness that is going immediately to just thinking of the fundamental. You know, I tend to very quickly get lost in, you know, when dinner is or, you know, a cab ride that I put on. Can you hear him okay? And one way of understanding what you said, and I don't know if it's accurate at all, don't bother to work, to try and develop, to train your mind. But just go right to... Right to it.

[44:09]

Right to it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. However... If you can't, okay, he said, how about some mind training, okay? So in a sense, mind training, when you say mind training, that means that in some sense, maybe you understand that the mind that goes directly to the source, directly to the fundamental, is a trained mind. But it's trained not like beaten down and under control. It's a mind which in fact is in harmony with inherent nature. Namely, it's completely focused It just thinks of one thing, and no matter what's happening, it never gets fooled and always knows it's the same thing that's being presented. And it's also infinitely flexible. No matter what's presented, it remembers, oh, this is a mystery.

[45:09]

Oh, this is a mystery. This is a mystery. Not, that's Sala who's being that way, and that's Jane who's being that way. This is the mystery right now. It remembers that. It never forgets that what's always being presented to you is the fundamental. It also doesn't deny that there's a particular phenomenon being presented. So it's flexible, and it's totally concentrated. And isn't it hard to get there? Yes, it is hard. And maybe there should be some training to get there, some other practices to get there. Yes. However, I still want you to, as much as possible, don't get distracted by the training. As much as possible, remember the training is not the ultimate practice that you're being trained for. So if I give you training now, like from this text, where you're actually, by studying the text, you're going to train your mind by seeing how untrained your mind is.

[46:11]

The text is the process for creating an untrained mind. That's what the text is about. It's a discussion of how it helps give you some light into the untrained, wild aspect I don't know, Tom's next? Anybody else have a hand? OK, then maybe you. Yes. Meditating on the precepts is a form of training. Pardon? Well. everything is meant, all things are meant to be let go of as soon as possible. But again, what does let go of mean?

[47:14]

It's let go of is the middle way understanding of letting go of. Letting go of doesn't mean you abandon. Like Zen, a let's go of intellectual study. And one of the ways you can let go of intellectual study is to study intellectually. One of the ways to prove that you let go of it is to pick up the books and read them. And then when the bell rings at the end of the study, close your book. Perhaps you just proved, unless you were showing off, that you were studying, but that you let go of it, particularly if you're reading something which was very enlightening. Close it and drop it. And don't drop it when you're ready to drop it. Like, OK, now I'm going to prove now that I'm not distracted by this intellectual study. You don't get to choose. You do it when the bell rings. Of course, you could try to get rid of the bell when it's coming up. Kind of like withdraw from the text. It's developed in attachment here.

[48:18]

And then when the bell rings, I'll close the book right at that time. And I'll read it to it. I can't let go of it. Did you read that book, Zen and the Art of Archery? The first Zen and the Art of? The archery teacher said, pull the bowstring and hold it until the string is released. Just hold it until the string is released. Don't release it. He said it will be like the string will go through your fingers. And this guy did it for days and weeks and months. years, and it never got released. So he developed this technique of without really releasing it, he would hold it less strongly. And then he would hold it half as strong as that. And in that way, he would get to this place where he wouldn't be holding it anymore, and he would go. It would just be released without him actually letting go. And he did that. He developed that. And finally, the string went. And the teacher said, as soon as the string went, the teacher said, OK.

[49:18]

That was the end of his training. He was kicked out. The arrow went someplace. So that's not how you do it. You do it much more simply than that, actually. You just do it. You just let go without letting go. You seek something without making it into an object. Because when you think of enlightenment, and you say, OK, I heard that enlightenment's all these Buddhists are thinking about. You put it out there. And you can put it out there. But when your mind starts jumping around, and you can tell, and you get kind of, there's some charge on it, and your mind's kind of getting active out there, then Bodhidharma says, no. Don't activate the mind. There's an object out there, but there's no activity out there. There's no charge on it. It's not really separate. In other words, you set aside all objects.

[50:25]

All these objects are set aside. But what does set aside mean? It's kind of like a child. It's that kindness. Kindness means she's not what I think she is, and she's not the opposite of what I think she is. She's a mystery. I don't know. You stay close. You study. The same with the precepts. You're always thinking of not killing. You're always thinking of not killing. It seems like an object, but no, you don't make not killing an object. You set aside all objects. Not killing is like the light. The light that you're concentrating on all the time is not killing. That's the light. It's one of the names for the light. But you don't put the not killing out there and then get your mind all activated around it. All that that means is not killing. What is not killing? Huh?

[51:26]

Without activating your mind, what is not killing? Not killing is not killing. That's it. That's all it is. What's walking? That's all. Now, you can still say that. either one of those, and still your mind could be activated. But basically, when something's happening, when some kind of conceptual thing's happening, and it's just a conception, then you can't imagine it being anything else than that. You're totally stupid when it comes to that thing, because that's what your mind has created, and you can't imagine it being anything else. In fact, you can. If you could, we'd be thinking of something else. Putting aside objects means really leaving things alone. So if the precept of not killing, you should think about that all the time. Thinking about Buddha means thinking about not killing. But to think about not killing, you just think about that.

[52:30]

That's it. You don't expect any other result. You don't expect, well, not killing, then this, not killing, then that, yet killing, then this, yet killing, then That's true. It's true, though. If not killing, then that. And if killing, then there will be that. That's true. Buddha taught that. If there's killing, then there's going to be trouble. He taught that. No killing, there won't be trouble. But the precept of not killing is not thinking like that. The precept of not killing is just the precept of not killing. And that's it. And you don't get anything out of it but not killing. All you get out of it is not killing. Now, of course, people want to get more out of it than that, which is fine. And you will. If you practice not killing, you'll get something good. But that's not Buddhism. That's good karma. The fundamental is that not killing is not killing. And you can't get anything out of Tom Lomax.

[53:32]

Again, I say, if you disagree with me, you're welcome here too. If you think you can get something out of him, you're welcome here. You can do that. It's okay. Because there are such thoughts. There are such conceptions. I know what I can get out of him. We have thoughts like that. That's okay. But just let that thought be that thought. And don't think it's true or false or right or wrong. Just let yourself admit you think that. That's it. Now, that thought itself, just being itself, is what we mean in that case. In that case, that's what it means to think of Buddha. Because that's what Buddhas think of. They always think of what they're thinking. They don't ever think of anything else. They never think of anything else than what they're thinking. But people think of what they're thinking. But they activate their mind around what they're thinking.

[54:37]

They imagine they could think something other than what they're thinking. That's called activating the mind. That's called not setting everything aside and just focusing on one thing. Because the one thing is that all the time, no matter what's happening, that's it. You always are doing that. In fact, that is your inherent activity. And your knowledge could not be anywhere else. And everybody's got it. But it's hard. It's hard because it means you have to give up everything else but this. And that's what faith comes in, because faith is that this really is your ultimate concern, and therefore you're willing to pay the price. At least this moment I'm willing to pay the price of setting everything else aside. Do you want your baby, or do you want your baby's happiness? Some people, actually, their highest priority is to have their baby, not their baby's happiness. That's their priority. That's where they're at?

[55:38]

OK. Then hold on to it. Don't let it go. That's right. They don't necessarily know. It's a very big one. It's a very big one. Very big. And that's why it's hard for people to learn what's actually helpful to themselves and their babies. It's hard to learn because we have a strong habit, a very strong habit called self-cleaning. That's why this practice is hard. But I have to bring up the fundamental things. I feel I have to do it. Sorry. Because this is Zen time, right? Roberto, and then Mark. . But at the point where I become aware that that's the only thing that I was doing,

[56:44]

Well, you know, when you said you were doing anything without awareness, I would work on the language there with you, okay? And say, it's not that you're doing anything without awareness. The thing you're doing is, in fact, your awareness at that time. If you're walking, I mean, if you're walking, you are aware of that. Right. Right, okay. Fine. Then what? And then, in order to When you're practicing suchness, you don't need to differentiate anymore. The differentiation is already done when you're practicing thus. Every moment, differentiation is being done. The mind is constantly differentiating. You don't have to worry about that. That's taken care of.

[58:01]

Question is, are you completely settled on this differentiated, discriminating mind? If you are, you're practicing suchness and you're liberated. If you then turn around and discriminate whether you were doing it or not, then you're not practicing suchness anymore. You're just discriminating. However, if you're aware that you just discriminated, you're practicing suchness again. But you did make a little boo-boo there. in a sense, which you're happy to admit because you get such as credit for admitting mistakes. Because it was a mistake. I mean, that's what you thought. If you don't think it's a mistake, what do you think it was? Do you think it's either a mistake or not a mistake? Because if you're discriminating, you're going to put in one of the two camps. Neither one you put it in, you're discriminating. But in one case, you're right. In the other case, you're wrong. So people are going around saying, I'm right or wrong.

[59:04]

People go around and say, I'm wrong. All right. People who don't do either and just are the way they are, they're neither right or wrong. They don't need to be anymore. They've realized their nature. So when you make a mistake and you know you're right, that gets you back on the path. If you make a mistake or don't make a mistake, whatever, and you say the other, you're doing something that's completely unnecessary. If you're not mistaken, you don't have to say so. When you're not mistaken, you just be quiet and peaceful and happy. That's all you want. When you're quiet, peaceful, happy, you don't be right anymore. That's one of the things you're relieved of. You don't have that burden anymore. Ever had that happen to you where you're kind of like, Like today, I ran to the top of the hill. When I got to the top, I really wasn't into being right or wrong.

[60:08]

I was just alive, and that was plenty. I was also very close to being dead. That's why. That's why life was enough. I really thought that was enough. But I wasn't right. I wasn't wrong. I didn't even accomplish anything. I was just totally wasted. And I couldn't be any other way. I didn't know if I couldn't. That was it. I was stuck. And then, Mark. Let's see.

[61:19]

Let me tell you or you want to tell me? I mean, you brought it up for some reason, so I thought maybe you saw some association in it. I think one way to put it is that that enlightenment that really being intimate with the fundamental means that you don't get stuck in enlightenment. And especially you don't get stuck in the supreme enlightenment. That you just walk right through that too. That you completely dedicate yourself to one thing and when you realize it, you forgot. So the radiant light that you've been meditating on for years and totally concentrating on for years with great difficulty and struggling and making lots of mistakes when you finally realize it,

[62:34]

It's obscured. It's still there. Well, it's not the kind of thing that's there and not there. It's free. It's free of being there and not there, which means it can be there. So again, enlightenment is completely free. And because it's completely free, it's all pervasive and completely inhabits and penetrates every state, which is part of the reason why you don't have to, like, control things. You don't have to control them. Plus, if you do control them, it shows you don't have faith in that particular thing. It shows you think things need to be manipulated in order to be OK. And most of us do have that habit very strong, which is fine.

[63:44]

That's the haziness that you've got all around your enlightenment. So without fixing up that haziness, without stopping being a person who thinks we have to fix things up for them to be OK, right there with all that haziness and confusion and habits, horrible habits all around, there it is. So the hazing moon of enlightenment very much is the one you've got now. Rather than this radiant sun blasting totally clear enlightenment, that doesn't sound like the one you've got now, does it? And if it does, OK, that's all right. You're welcome, too. We've eliminated most people like that from . This is not Soto Zen. Go, you know, you can find some other center. But the problem is, although we have people, a lot of people who have hazy moon enlightenment, not too many have real confidence in it.

[64:49]

And that's the characteristic of hazy moon enlightenment. It's all obscured and kind of like, oh, no, this couldn't be it. That's the haze. Which shows you don't really have deep faith, because you don't just cut through that little devil in you who says, no, no. There's something more important and interesting than this. So you cut through that. And you've already cut through this kind of pure bliss clarity enlightenment. You've already accomplished that. So all you've got to do is now cut through this garbage and you'll be set. Unless you happen to slip into clarity, then you have to cut through that too. And I'm not saying that I personally can help you free yourself from any kind of spiritual sickness. Spiritual sickness means any kind of attainment you have that you can't go up.

[65:55]

I mean, I don't know if I can help you. But I can certainly, you know, be disgusted. Ha, ha, [...] ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I mean, so far I haven't seen any awakening that I can't be disgusted by. Do you have a potion you're selling? Well, I guess the potion I'm selling is my own kindness for anybody in that state, that I would really truly feel sorry for them and give my wholehearted attention to try to help them become free of this great attainment. Because there's nothing more dangerous and hard to get free of. It's so great. I guess the potion is true kindness, which would be born in my heart if I saw somebody in that state.

[66:57]

And I occasionally do run into people like that. And I do naturally. In some ways, it's easier to feel compassion for them than people who believe that they're all bones. Sometimes I get more impatient with that. where people insult themselves. I mean, they're talking about a friend of mine. Anything else today? So I'm warming up to this text. Little by little, you may notice it's on the airwaves here. And we'll see what to do about it. Various pieces of paper are being assembled. Books are being bought.

[67:58]

Lecture notes are being taken out of file . But I am sincere when I say somehow you don't want to get into this other than to sort of like what happens here during service occasionally. I think it's okay if you just want to go sit in the Zen room. But I would like you to maybe tell me how you're thinking about it. I wouldn't necessarily want you to just go up and go to sleep up there with more spacious accommodations. But if you told me, well, I'd just like to go up there and work on the fundamentals, that's very clear to me. Go directly towards it. I don't need any mind-teaming. I mean, you don't have to say that, but I mean, something like that, I would be awestruck. I'd have to try to be OK.

[69:03]

But just not liking the class isn't quite enough. You'd have to have some kind of beneficial alternative that you recommend. What did they say? 10,000 sages don't understand this class. This isn't as mysterious as anything else, I think. Maybe not. Maybe this is the only thing that's not mysterious. It's possible. That's the thing about mysteries is sometimes they just get really un-mysterious and get to be like, well, that's just it. That's the way it is. It's not mysterious. Once in a while, that has to happen, I suppose. Nothing else tonight?

[69:58]

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