So I'm going to give this morning's talk over again now, okay? So there's this thing about we practice just sitting and but it's hard for us to understand how to practice just sitting just sitting in the sense that it's that it's meant because we turn just sitting into something that we do because we when the word just sitting appears in consciousness, we think, oh, just sitting so that'll be another thing which I do but just sitting doesn't mean another thing you do like like walking or talking or sitting it's not something you do it's the practice and it's a practice

[01:01]

which is not something you do it's something we are doing all day long we're being the practice of just sitting is what we're doing all day long and so that's the practice the practice for talking about in Zen is the practice we're doing all day long which is Buddhas practice what's Buddhas practice? it's the practice of what we're doing all day long Buddha is what we're doing all day long and what we're doing all day long being what we're doing all day long is just sitting But when we hear that, we think, oh, I should do that just sitting, or I should do what I'm doing already, so it's just hard for us to understand. Plus the sense of self, if we don't understand it, and therefore we think it can do what's

[02:09]

going on, it does its cohort, rather than it's with its cohort. Because of that sense of self, we often think, when there's a self and we don't understand it, then we think, what should I do next? What's next? What's next is short for what should I do next? And what should I do next is putting the anxiety of having a self that we don't understand. When we have a self, when there's a self and it's not understood, there's anxiety. So then there's what to do next, what to do next. And letting that sentence, what should you do next, letting that be, is not something you do, but you can allow it, it's already happening, you can allow it and be compassionate

[03:13]

to it, and allowing the thought, what should I do next, is just sitting. Or allowing the thought, what next, to be that, is just sitting. Allowing that thought to just sit. You don't make the thought sit, it's already sitting. But if you don't allow it, it's like, you're not allowing it to just sit, you're something I do. No, no, no, no, just let it be. And that's hard for us to learn, but not impossible. And we also have this, which I say over and over, I say, I pray that the Great Assembly remembers silence and stillness. I used to say, be, actually we say that in Gringotts talk, I'm trying to change that,

[04:19]

we say, be silent and still, but it's not really, you don't do stillness, it's more like, it's already there, just remember it, and then when you remember it, then you can see if you'll remember it again. And as you remember it, you notice maybe that there's a sense of, well, what next? Or can I just sit here and remember stillness, don't I have to do something? What will happen if I just remember stillness? In other words, you start to notice you're anxious about the simple thing of remembering stillness. What's so bad about remembering stillness? Well I might not do what I'm saying. So, this remembering stillness and silence kind of tests our understanding of our self.

[05:26]

If you can remember it and allow it, at that moment you're free of self, you're free of self-clinging. It doesn't mean your self is eliminated, it's just you're free of it. It's the attachment to self isn't interfering with you spending your life remembering just sitting or stillness. So if you can actually allow stillness and silence, you're enacting freedom from your self-clinging. So, that instruction tests to see whether we can let go of what next, what next, what next. And it doesn't, that instruction does not say, get rid of your anxiety. It's saying, if there's anxiety, remember stillness.

[06:30]

If there's horrors, remember silence. It doesn't say, get rid of them. It says, just sit with them. And just sitting with them liberates them without trying to get rid of them. They're liberated in their just sitting. And what's the Buddha doing all day long? The Buddha's practicing just like everybody who's anxious. And if anybody's not, the Buddha's practicing just like that person. The practice of the Buddhas is the way each of us are in each moment. The Buddha allows all of us to just sit, no matter how we are. But, you know, this is something we're training at, we're learning.

[07:36]

And now we have this nice coffin, nice newly-made coffin, up in the room dedicated to the Bodhisattva of Great Compassion, who observes all coffins with eyes of compassion. So I'm like, the coffin's up there with all the compassion. Also, I want to thank Matisse for repairing our little bell tower upstairs. Now we have a bell tower, and also we have a bell in it. Did you ring it by any chance? No, so maybe later we can go ring the bell. Oh, Brett's going to ring it, oh here we go. Now we have a little, beautiful little bell tower. Yeah, so the coffin's up there.

[08:53]

And somebody asked me about how I could offer some teachings about how to prepare for death. For whom does the bell toll? Thank you. So, I'm not exactly preparing for death. I'm more like training at being ready for it. And the way I train for being ready for it is I'm training for being ready for this moment. And by the way, in this moment, I am, I seem to be, I'm getting feedback that I am dying. People do not come up to me very often and say, would you please die?

[09:59]

When I was younger, they used to say that. Now they say, would you please not die? Would you please keep living a little longer, at least until next week when I can come and see you again? Would you please hang in there for us? Why are they saying that to me? You think it's funny, huh? Please don't go, why are they saying don't go? Can they tell that I'm going? Can they tell that I'm about to depart? Apparently, I don't know if they can tell, but they think I am. So they're saying, please don't, please stay. The coffin doesn't mean I'm going right now. It just means, the coffin, I hope the coffin means that I'm ready to go. I hope I'm ready to go. I want to be ready to go now, not later, not next week.

[11:06]

I want to be ready to go now. And people are telling me, don't go. In other words, people are telling me, you're going. You're going, but don't go too soon. We know you're going, but not now. I'm going? Oh, okay, all right, I'm going, I get it, I'm going. Okay, so what should I do? I should be ready for this going that I'm in. So that's what I'm doing, is I want to be ready, like Hamlet. Hamlet, remember Hamlet? He said, ready, readiness is all. He was ready, and he died right after that, even though he was just a kid. His karma played out differently than mine. But at least he woke up to his job, which is the same as mine, is to be ready. And then he died right after.

[12:08]

We didn't get to see him practicing readiness for even a whole day. Or maybe it was a day, I don't think so. But definitely we didn't get to see this wonderful young guy practice readiness for a week. Wouldn't that be wonderful to see another week of Hamlet? After he woke up, the same with King Lear. He woke up. Where did he wake up to? He woke up to who his daughter was, who he thought betrayed him. Actually, he saw, oh, this is the way she loved me the whole time. Her love was so wonderful. I had it the whole time, and I didn't see it. And now I do. How wonderful. How wonderful. My magnificent, loving daughter. But he didn't get the tragedy. He didn't get to spend a week with her, or not to mention the rest of his life, with his precious daughter after he woke up.

[13:14]

And did Othello wake up at the end to how wonderful his wife was? Hmm? I don't know. Did he wake up? That would make the tragedy deeper. So, again, he thought she was unfaithful in his delusion, which he didn't make by himself, his delusion. Do you know what I mean? He had this guy feeding him seductive illusions and lulling him into insanity so that he doubted his wife's love and went insane and killed her. Anyway, I'm not exactly preparing for death. I'm more like trying to be ready for it, ready for it, ready for it, ready for it.

[14:19]

And if you want to, when you come to know more, you can go, if you're not too tall, sorry, Eric, but you can sit in it too with your knees up. You're welcome to go meditate in the coffin for a while and practice being ready when you're in the coffin. You'll fit, isn't it? You know, Bela Lugosi used to sleep in the coffins. He got very identified with his role. John Donne, the great poet, also, he didn't sleep in the coffin, I don't think. He meditated in the coffin. The guy who wrote For Whom the Bell Tolls, he used to meditate in a coffin in his office. So this place is kind of like my office, and I have my coffin here for everybody to enjoy. And you can enjoy me not preparing for death,

[15:23]

but living my dying process, moment by moment. Isn't that great? You want to join me? Because you might be dying too. Is that possible? Not inevitable. I'm not talking about inevitable. I'm talking about now, that you're dying now. Are you dying now? Are you going to die later? Are you going to do the dying later? No. Once you die, you can't do any more dying. Now you can do dying. I'm ready for dying now. I don't have to wait for something inevitable. By the way, I just want to note that the picture in that other room there is tilted. And I'm like accepting that.

[16:25]

But I wouldn't mind if somebody adjusted it. Okay. Well, was that what I said this morning? Yes. Yeah. That was kind of what I said this morning. That's our practice. It's being ready. While dying, for death, and being ready for this moment. And being ready for trying to avoid this moment. Like that guy I was with, you know? Standing by our dead friend. Why can't we always be like this? In other words, why can't we just be here and just sit on the sidewalk like this? Well, we can be, but we have to train. And nobody has dead friends moment after moment.

[17:36]

We don't always have all that support. We can do it with littler things, but it's harder. It's harder to just be there for the small little horrors of the daily life. But that's what they want us to do. And that's what our friend wanted us to do. He wanted us just to stop and be there with him. And we were. And we honored him by just being there with him. And that's what every moment is asking of us. And every moment is asking us to just sit. And it's asking us to do that, but it's also asking us to understand that we don't do it even though I just said we did. Every moment is asking us to be just sitting together with everybody

[18:39]

and let everybody help us do that. This is our last sitting of the year. Thank you for another year of sitting at no abode. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Now you say thank you. Thank you. Yes? The intimacy. The invitation. Yeah, the intimacy. The invitation to intimacy. The conversation. I forgot to mention. Conversation. Just sitting is conversation. Conversation is just sitting. Silence and stillness is where conversation is living. The intimacy to get in your coffin, to be invited.

[19:44]

And I say I. It's helpful. I think sometimes when Brad isn't here anymore and why I think that you'll leave this realm before myself, I don't know. Statistically. It helps in the process. So when the time comes for any of us to leave the realm, if we're having a conversation about it and we're invited intimately to be a part of it, it's beneficial. Thank you. You're welcome. Anytime.

[20:45]

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