I vow to face the truth without a doubt. Last one day sitting, someone talked about, asked about controlling anger, or about what you do when anger comes up.

[01:34]

someone does something that makes you angry. And I said that you have a choice of whether you can choose to practice Buddhism or you can just react. to the situation from your emotions. Just have an emotional reaction and just allow yourself to be completely taken over by your emotional reaction. But what I was emphasizing was the fact that you have a choice. You can either choose to turn that emotion or feeling that you have into a subject for practice or you can just let it evolve in its own way.

[03:02]

which is called getting caught in samsara. So as a way of practice, we always have a choice on every moment's occasion. And the choice we make determines whether or not we're practicing. So If we want to stay in the realm of practice, then we always have to make this kind of choice. What will I do on each moment? And what will I do either turns toward practicing the way, or it turns toward going some other way. And in practicing the way, our effort is always to maintain our imperturbable, calm mind in every circumstance, which is called practicing zazen continuously and unremittingly.

[04:20]

So I want to read you a story, a little story here, from the Mumonkan. This is case 19 in the Mumonkan, and it's a very famous koan, a very famous story, That's the title, Ordinary Mind is the Way, is the Tao. And this is the case. And it's about Joshu and Nansen. And Nansen was Joshu's teacher. And Joshu asked Nansen, what is the way? Nansen answered, the ordinary mind is the way.

[05:30]

And Joshu asked, should I direct myself toward it or not? Nansen said, if you try to turn toward it, you go against it. Joshu asked, if I do not try to turn toward it, how can I know that it is the way? And Nansen answered, the way does not belong to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion. Not knowing is a kind of blank consciousness. When you have really reached the true way beyond all doubt, you will find it as vast and boundless as outer space. How can it be talked about on a level of right and wrong? At these words, Joshu was suddenly enlightened. And Mumon's commentary, Mumon says, Nansen was asked a question by Joshu, and Joshu's base was shattered and melted away.

[06:43]

He could not justify himself. Even though Joshu has come to realization, he will have to delve into it for another 30 years before he can realize it fully. And then Mumban's verse, he says, the spring flowers, the moon in autumn, the cool breezes of summer, the winter's snow. He has all the seasons in there. If idle concerns do not cloud the mind, this is man's happiest season. I think these last two lines of the poem really epitomize the whole thing. If idle concerns do not cloud the mind, this is man's happiest season. What are idle concerns? We take our life very seriously.

[07:47]

If idle concerns do not cloud the mind, What is ordinary mind? Ordinary mind is the way. Nonsense ordinary mind, Joshu's ordinary mind, is our ordinary mind, but what we think of as ordinary mind is not necessarily what Joshu or Nansen think of as ordinary mind. In our practice, practice of Buddhism or Zen or whatever we want to call it,

[09:02]

we should always be returning to ordinary mind, everyday ordinary mind. But angry mind or jealous mind or unscrupulous mind or Covetous mind, greed, greedy mind, hateful mind. These are not what we call ordinary mind, actually. Although they're ordinary to us, maybe even predominant, still, we don't call it, this is not what we call ordinary mind. Ordinary mind is the mind that, this consciousness which has no gaining idea. Suzuki Roshi always used to talk about not having a gaining idea in our practice.

[10:11]

If you could just practice without having a gaining idea. The non-acquisitive mind. Which means that even though you practice in Buddhism, the point of practice is to gain enlightenment. But as Nonsense says, if you try to get it, you go away from it. If you try to gain it, you go away from it. But if you just leave things alone, just leave it alone, just leave everything alone, it's right there. You know, it's like when

[11:18]

Daniel has a little train set, has a bridge and a little track and these little cars. So if you put the car, the little train, on top of the bridge and let it go, it goes down and its own weight takes it around the ring without the train derailing. But if you push it a little bit, push it just a little bit, it gets derailed. But if you just let it go by itself, it takes care of itself. But you have to trust it. You have to trust that it will work. In Zazen, We just let go of it, let go of things, so that we can resume our ordinary mind.

[12:35]

It's also called innocent mind, just ordinary innocent mind, which has nothing to gain and everything is there. Just leave it alone. It's there. If you know too much about it, that knowledge becomes a hindrance. And if you don't know, don't know here means, doesn't, don't know has a kind of double meaning, because if you don't know,

[13:52]

as it's expressed here, means without any cognition. That kind of don't know is a kind of blankness. But, excuse me, real not knowing is the highest knowing. Because it's real not knowing is trusting, completely trusting. Most of our problems arise through not trusting. And because we don't trust, we have to do something. We have to do something more than we would if we had trust. Even though we may be betrayed all over the place, We're being betrayed all over the place, but still, we shouldn't lose our trust.

[14:59]

Fundamental trust in ourself. So why we sit zaaz in, is to learn how to trust ourself. And when we learn how to trust ourself, then we learn how to trust other people. And not just people, but we learn how to trust the universe. Right now it's a very difficult time in the world to trust. We don't trust very well, very easily. So we look for some way. What can we trust? The world is a very untrustworthy place. right now. But what can we trust? That's what we need to know. So it's necessary for us to practice hard until we find what we can trust in ourselves.

[16:22]

At least you should be able to trust yourself. Then no matter what happens in the world, you have some security within yourself. It's not necessary to practice real hard in some special way. If we just look at our life, just take our life on, just use our life as it is, as a framework for practice, then our practice will be difficult enough, just enough difficulty, just the right amount of difficulty. If we really take on our life as it is, thoroughly, practice our life thoroughly and completely in the realm of path, doubt, what is the way.

[17:36]

What is the way is a koan. It's a question that we should always ask, always be asking. Joshu asks Nansen, what is the wave? And they have this dialogue. But it's not over. Joshu doesn't stop asking. He's always asking himself. And then when he turns to Nansen, he asks Nansen. Maybe he'll ask somebody else. Maybe he'll ask a seven-year-old girl. As a matter of fact, that was Joshu's practice. He said, I will always keep asking, what is the way? And if a seven-year-old girl understands, then she'll be my teacher.

[18:44]

And if an old man of 100 can't answer my question, then I'll be his teacher. This is nonsense way. So, all of us have to ask that question continually. If we continually ask that question, then we have our practice. I mean, the question has many forms. What am I doing? What is this? They're all forms of the same question. But the problem is, how do we keep coming back to knowing what is practice?

[19:48]

What is path? That's always the problem, always our task. What is the path? If someone pulls out in front of you when you're driving, and you find yourself cursing, you should know that that's what you're doing. Say, this is ill will coming up. What am I going to do with ill will manifesting as anger? What should I do with that? Should I get out and kill a guy at the stop sign? Should I ram him with my bumper? Should I honk my horn? Somebody said to me, my horn isn't working. And I get so frustrated in traffic because my horn isn't working and I can't beep. I get very irritated in traffic.

[20:51]

Someone pulls in front of me and then slows down. They don't even see you, they just pull out and slow down. And this comes up in me all the time. I have to think, you know, what am I doing? What am I doing here? Where am I going? Why is it so important that I have to do this? What's my practice? Well, my practice is to maintain an imperturbable calm mind. So then I say, well, I have a choice. I can either continue this to get angry, I can chew this person out for the next six blocks, or else I can just slow down and wait for my opportunity to do some, to get around this person.

[21:55]

So if I choose to Let it go. Let go of the anger. You can let go. You can just say, it's not there. It doesn't have to be there. And you can just let it go. So you give yourself some time to analyze the situation a little bit. And then you feel that, well, I can go slower. It's okay to go a little slower. This is my situation, going slower. Going slower is the actual reality here. No matter how I feel in this situation, I'm going slower. So I just accept the fact that I'm going slower. Then I can start relating to my surroundings in a better way. So I'm letting go of the anger.

[23:06]

I'm relating to my surroundings and harmonizing with my surroundings. And then when I see my opportunity, I just go around and continue. But it comes up in me a lot. And I always have to deal with it. I always have to figure out, how am I doing this? How am I going to handle this situation? If we can, and I realize if I continually come back to my calm mind, I always have some, I don't want to say refuge, but settling place, some place to settle.

[24:09]

So in every situation, the most important thing and the first thing is always to be able to settle on myself. And from that place, I can act, because I'm not reacting to the situation, but I'm acting out of my own decision, which takes into consideration a lot of... all of the factors, many factors. Usually when we have rage or anger, We're only taking into consideration the narrow factor of our anger. And so a lot of anything that gets in the way gets destroyed by our anger, or hurt by our anger. They used to fight war, people used to fight wars in the battlefield, away from the towns.

[25:22]

And there was some rationale to it. If you want to fight, well, you go over here and you leave people alone so that things, you know, you scare away the animals and people and you have your fight. But nowadays, you know, people just, fighting is in the streets and if you're in the way, people in the way just get smashed. because that anger is so ... rage and violence is so ... is the only thing. It's the only thing that counts. So that kind of activity is definitely not practice. It's living in hell or living in samsara. So you have to decide where you want to live. You can actually live in Nirvana.

[26:26]

But it's just a matter of decision. I mean, just. It's a matter of decision and where you turn toward. It really makes a difference. It's your choice. We feel that we're bound by our feelings and emotions. ideas, and we are. But as Bodhidharma said to Eka, Eka asked Bodhidharma, Bodhidharma said, bring me your mind, show me your mind. Eka said, I can't find, I can't locate some place where all this stuff is going on. Bodhidharma said, your mind is relieved.

[27:38]

If you can't find it, there's no substance, if there's no reality to it, you don't have to worry about it. Our problems, by and large, are self-caused. Even though the world, you know, our outside world, so-called, has the ability to cause something in us, we have the ability to not react or not get caught by a cause. Depends on what the most important thing is to us.

[28:41]

For a Zen student, the most important thing is to always maintain calm, imperturbable mind. Soft mind. By imperturbable, it doesn't mean like a block of iron. Although, Zen student, sometimes it's called Iron Man. But that doesn't mean stiff, you know, or stubborn. It means, can never be moved off of, can never stop being a bodhisattva. That iron man has a soft mind.

[29:46]

which accepts things but doesn't attach, doesn't get caught by them. So it depends on where you want to live. If you want to live in in the way, the Tao, the true way, then you make that choice. If you want to live in the world of the fighting demons, which a lot of us do, then we make that choice. If we want to live in the hell worlds, then we make that choice. If we want to live in the animal worlds,

[30:49]

We make that choice. Animal world, you know, it's like, we are animals, as well as human beings. But when we don't realize our human nature, then all we have left is our animal nature. So that's what we call animal world. Or even, we might want to live in heaven, the heavenly world, you know, where there's, everything is just Wonderful, kind of floating on waterbeds. That's a kind of trap too, you know, big trap. And all those worlds are connected. And we find ourselves in those worlds. We kind of transmigrate through those worlds every day. Sometimes we are just like an animal.

[31:51]

Sometimes we're like a fighting demon. Sometimes we're in hell. Sometimes we're in heaven. But the human world, the actual real human world is not so easy. The actual human world is where we try to, where our effort should be to be human, to be as human as possible. We're born as a human and the way we develop, Buddha says in the Lotus Sutra that human being has a tendency, the tendency of human beings is to degenerate or to go toward the lower realms, the degenerate realms.

[33:01]

And it takes a real effort to practice as a human. Because even though we look like human beings, and we think like human beings, and sort of act like human beings, it's very hard to perfect ourself as a human being. So our Buddhist practice is to perfect ourselves as a human being. That's the goal of Buddhist practice. But if we try too hard, you know, we become virtuosos in some way, or we become very arrogant because we're better than other human beings. So it's also a big trap, you know, Education and self-development can take us into various byways, but Buddhist practice is just to resume to yourself, just to resume to your innocent human nature.

[34:30]

So in all circumstances, you just resume to your original nature. That's called a path. So, In Mumon's poem, it says, winter, spring, summer, fall, in all of these seasons, means in any circumstance, all circumstances, if idle concerns do not cloud the mind, this is man's happiest season. Idle concerns is when something takes your attention away from the path.

[35:55]

Anything that takes your attention away from the path is an idle concern. If someone pulls in front of you in the car and then slows down and you start getting all wired up, that's an idle concern. Just an idle concern. It's taking you away from the path. You're being drawn out. You're being a sucker. You're drawn out of yourself. So we get drawn out a lot, all the time. Something's pushing our button. But practice, true practice, is to get back to ourself.

[36:59]

And the model for that is when we sit zazen, our mind is constantly being drawn off. Our attention is constantly going someplace, being seduced somehow. And then we come back. We're constantly coming back. Just bring yourself back. That's the path. That's zazen. Constantly bringing yourself back. And the more you constantly bring yourself back, this is over a long period of time, you gradually refine your practice until you find it's not so hard to bring yourself back. And then when you've been practicing for 30 years, you find that pretty much you're always there. Things don't disturb you so much. And you can take things or leave things, take it or leave it.

[38:05]

And you know how to deal with things without being caught by them. Nonsense says, even though you've got enlightened, Joshu, it'll still be 30 years. Still be another 30 years. So, now we say our practice starts with enlightenment. Practice begins with enlightenment. Enlightenment is given to you. Okay, there it is. You have it. Now what will you do? Well, if you continue your practice, you retain your enlightenment. If you don't, you just fade away. So you have it to begin with.

[39:14]

But if you don't, continually work with it. It just, it will vanish. You won't see it. Let me read this again. Joshu earnestly asked Nansen, what is the way? Nansen answered, the ordinary mind is the way. Joshu asked, should I direct myself toward it or not? Nansen said, if you try to turn toward it, you go against it. Joshu asked, if I do not try to turn toward it, how can I know that it is the way?

[40:20]

Nansen answered, The way does not belong to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion. Not knowing is a blank consciousness. When you have really reached the true way, beyond all doubt, you will find it as vast and boundless as outer space. How can it be talked about on a level of right and wrong?" At these words, Joshu was suddenly enlightened. And Mumon comments on it and he says, "'Nonsen' was asked a question by Joshu. and Joshu's base was shattered and melted away. He could not justify himself. Even though Joshu has come to realization, he will have to delve into it for another 30 years before he can realize it fully. When Mumon talks about Joshu like this, He's actually complimenting him. This is kind of like speaking where you say, a joshua's base was melted away.

[41:25]

Kind of compliment. And then the verse, the spring flowers, the moon in autumn, the cool breezes of summer, the winter snow. If idle concerns do not cloud the mind, this is man's happiest season. Do you have a question? Yes. If anger is rooted in ill will, what is trust rooted in? Goodwill. You know, the three roots are... The bad roots are greed, hate, or ill will, and delusion.

[42:34]

And the opposite is non-greed, non-hate, non-delusion. So if you want to follow that logic, then you... take hate or ill will and look at its opposite and trace its opposite to its source. It's kind of dualistic, you know, but that's all right. Trace it to its non-dualistic source. Yes?

[43:41]

I have a problem with the word trust. I guess the problem I have is the feeling that When is it, or is it ever kind of like a blind faith where someone just kind of goes into something and just doesn't really examine or look at anything? I guess I'm looking at maybe another extreme. Yeah, I think you are. Trust, you know, is a kind of associated with faith, but in Buddhism Faith is not blind faith. Faith comes out of understanding. Because you understand something and you see how it works and you have some... trust and you also have faith. So that's faith in Buddhism.

[44:45]

It's not believing in something, actually. It's not belief in something that you're expected to believe in. But it comes out of your own investigation. It should come from your own investigation. Then you have some, it has some real foundation. So faith is a very important factor, and trust is part of it. When you learn to trust your own nature, when you see that it works, then you begin to have faith in yourself. And when you see that yourself is more than just what we call this person, then we begin to have faith in our bigger self and trust in our bigger self.

[45:52]

But you have to find that for yourself. But when you do have the...

[46:08]

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