Mother and Father in Zen Practice

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good morning everyone over seventy program have like to welcome our speaker today that k rubble that higher
r j k practice began over thirty years ago in paris and i guess it over there and his with established ishimaru russians had just place and then came to america and study has become a psycho analyst in the kind of school
and get practising at birthdays etc and was ordained by a regime has a right practitioner and of ears he fathered two children and he's been competing over the
that three bridges is a marine had year works at san francisco and michigan it'll help as a psychologist and last year he received parameters should search roshi in it breaking new ground at patricia or transmission is typically held that the
monastery has a heart of we held here during the intro and as i actually take place again this year with two other students and decade has published several books on psychology and said he has a few books i believe that the table which you
happy to talk with you about afternoons
thank you
morning
let's say everybody here this
warm a
summer saturday morning
so today is the the last day before summer break out of the sound is okay again it allowed
no
if you define resign yeah
ah so this is the last day before or summer break and has wrought receta during the summer break a couple of people are going to be a receding a dharma transmission
and
also this weekend is a san francisco zen centers the fiftieth anniversary and a big girl she actually is giving the talk in san francisco or this morning
after many years and many many ordeals deals and sagas
oh the same world
and
he came to percussive center many many years ago my neck in a
oh and
it's also a biker's baker here was a priest ordained by by studying rosie and a processor former wife and she's elaborating today her new as and of can a pleasant here
so some of us are gonna be gone over afterwards for that we also wish you well
and and then this morning when i arrived
hassan wasn't who's on his way to new mexico to teach there today
he was sending off his daughter silly and i think was driving you
and
and he was kind of sad so we hurt him
he was being a papa things darauf
so appropriately with that qatar topic of the talk for today's mother and father in zen practice
which is also another way of speaking about birth and death
ah anna
and for the the speaker giving a talk is also kind of birth and death the intensity of the experience and for the
sometimes you your boiled sometimes he die
you never know which one's gonna be different
but whether you're born and feel elated into some new life eventually you'll die again and if you die then eventually you will be reborn in yeah
so for the audience sometimes the the talk will awaken you and sometimes they will put you to sleep
so when the awake asleep asleep is that kind of awakening and awakening is a kind of dream as though inset
so whether we were born or with the whether we're awake or asleep it's all contained within have stopped so it's all good
for that

a
so i'm going to start with a case or one twenty three other columns in the re-insert tradition
of the sound of one hand colored gosh the sun on her the sitting the corn collection in the windsor school
so it goes like this a prince nana niches a mythological figure tore up his flesh
and return it to his love
broke up his bones and gave them back to his fun
then he revealed his original body
and exercising great magical power preach the truth for his parents
and then the the column gives an answer to the car this is the book and the answer goes mother you must be tired
shall i run your shoulders for you

so prince another it's like in spanish now there's nothing
the prince nothing of press of nothing
but true princess no grandson of the press is a popular or a servant
realize that his flesh and bones were empty
and carried itself and of his parents across to the other shore
or his parents carried him across to the other shore
beyond suffering
so
mother you must be tired shall i rub your shoulders for you
so touches to the self niche the mothers itself niche rush per meter
and the self nature of being tired
and of iron or anger
with retires the we can i get angry
like a child too sleepy and tired but once food
it just cries as frustrating as a nice to see but doesn't want to go sleep so he cries and as for a fool for an ice cream i love you so there was this one picture on the web a little child falling asleep on his ice cream
right
ah
so
so this this anger and desire this timeless
ah the synchronous is our nature
our self nature
so this call a
shows the different aspects of the parent child relationship
traditionally a child has to make sacrifices and realizations and honor their father in their mother this was thirteen
and then that's in the torah with the old testament his partner the ten commandments
and then contrast in the gospel or the new testament in features jesus throwing his mother out of the house of his father
in heaven and not having any relationship to the farther than raised them
he rejected his biological father
so jesus was a can but that's the other side
the owner your father and your mother and yet there's this fierce independence on the other
two
and so the gospel says if anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and his mother his wife and children
his brothers and sisters yes even his own life it cannot be my disciple
look fourteen twenty six
the
very radical
we'll see this is echoed in the mahayana lack of terra sutra
ah an eraser teaching
and toes and of the founder of soto said in china
also cause the door his mother when in her old age she came knocking asking for help
as a rages
will you do that which mother or new causing a dora
is this your product is a special barometer
which mother is it
how many mothers do we have
and after she died doesn't had a dream where his mother in the dream tells him that thanks to this response of closing the door on her she was freed from attachment and it was now living in one of the heavenly routes
thanks a lot
yes a conservation
so get in traditional buddhism we call filial duty and filial duty on her father and mother
that was an important obligation for like people this source of part of traditional buddhism however the monks have to abandon their families and for them to sanga
it becomes your siblings and a teacher has become like their parents
so those are different mother and father's a different parents
so the father and mother as we usually know the other progenitors of the karmic body is this study that we'll have is our karmic body
and
in case you didn't know it the why is conceived in a sexual at of hopefully passion and desire
although there's some debate about them like orthodox jews when they can save they're doing in vista and they do it with that this they're supposed to do it without desire for chiefs between the two guys so that they won't feel any desire so they won't be any sin
when in the procreation
but that's a little extreme
so so father and mother and desire is a one or two
and this this act from which we come from otherwise known as the primal scene
ah is a pure fantasy of human beings
it
ah
once our unconscious imagination
so according to the early buddhism every birth every existence is an act of karmic retribution
resulting from previous actions done in previous lifetimes
and then bus abandoned was the second ancestor of the mahayana he went as far as saying that in between lifetimes humans even choose which parental sexual act they will join for purposes of being reborn
had a fantastic and a fantasy theory
ah well they seem to be having a lot of fun with their
that's where i'm going
ah why not
better be born to fall in love
lead to something or
not so lightly
oh a deadly
so on the one hand of human birth is result of good karma so retold be thankful that you have a human body because that's good news because now you can practice the buddha dharma
on the other hand buddhists
are supposed to have ended the whole to realize food is supposed to be in the long series of deaths and reapers
ah so that's another aspect of traditional buddhism that i'm kind of convey to you in a kind of playful way
some of this this you know we know as part of the tradition
whether we believe it or not who
in sir
you know we'll need belief completely although dog insist that belief and practice or one piece but we also have a teaching of like getting attached the much to their beliefs we have in buddhism and practice is more fundamental are essentially whatever we may say about buddhism
a
so the question is raised the question of where what happens degrees after they die
and
and we know that the buddha was not interested at all in the afterlife
andy consider this a kind of metaphysical question so buddhism is not metaphysics
in sense
ah
but buddhism also proposes that
that even though who isn't a reborn
buddha nature is a
neither neither is more no dice
so there's that the the reality of the unborn and the undying
so although were born are born buddha nature is not born and although we die
blue nature doesn't die
so buddha-nature in that sense the form of infinite life that neither born nor does
but when were born as a human being as we all do in half
ah this means we also will die is a human being
and this is part of the wheel of samsara of the cycle of birth and death and the wheel suffering
the body is impermanent
and subject of illness old age decay and death
so this is the reality that the doctor discovered when he left the house
he had lived a sheltered protected life of a prince
ah but he didn't want to be a prince you will be presented
princess no friends who so he he went out and lived with the hill the old that he came and a dying
and right there and made a vow to find a way to end suffering
and people often criticise buddhism for being idealistic or unrealistic but wanting to put an end to suffering as if you could have a body and be alive and that suffer

a poor people often look for jeff to find and den for suffering oh case of suffering but i'm gonna die
we're all just you to do the best i can then in the end it doesn't work out i'll just do myself and and now be the end of it
or i'm glad this the this veil of tears that would call the world is gonna be over at some point
god forbid you will differ
go one day forever
ah
but this this other shore
is found within this sure this other shore beyond suffering this case of death his promise of peace that will come after death in buddhism the where is that it's it's right here
that over there somewhere we always passing through that gate right here a moment to moment
so
ah we'll need to find a fountain of the elixir of youth of eternal youth
but right within this world of birth and death
we find the non-existence of the unborn in the undying
this is that we call young born and die doesn't accept us it neither a system doesn't exist what is it months ago
so this buddha-nature that his unborn and undying can be separated from human nature or even from animal nature
ah and without birth and death and will be any human life
so when a broader set of buddha doesn't die
whatever
ah or not reborn
whatever that means
no oh intuitively know that one of the ways we can understand that is that this unborn online aspect of the good our teacher is transmitted
within the lineage

so this aspect of the buddha the iguana dying aspect of the buddha lives on in this and ondine quality of the disciples
and we have as a story of to them that place in this direction
in his early twenties toes then visited nonsense
nasser was a disciple of muscle or bustle
and they were going to make offerings to much so we're already died
and manson as the assembly
well they thought that muscle would come
twenty seconds over here because he died
the wonderful strange way that same teacher speak
the community was speechless
nobody said a word
and tozer said something
he said must will come as soon as he finds his companion

ah so the the presence of muscle in life and death
continues through the presence of his spirit in his disciples

and that's it said in response to what a toes answer is that although his man is the youth is excellent material to carve and polish
and and responded
let not the venerable adults base a free man into a slave
ah
the toes and is pointing to the in herself that is is no self and doesn't need any carving are clashing the the say well i'm gonna carve you have polished but actually that's the right
both are the right responses
so one side is the sort of the honor your father and mother for your father your mother will cardio and polish you
the son of the daughter saying i don't even regarding abolishing my nature needs some coffee and polishing don't make me into your servant of your slave i'm nobody's you're not the boss of the comedy there's of heard them
so you can interpret that those on nationalistically so if interpret that challenged non-dual the sticky
they're expressing their nature rather than rebelling against your authority if you take it that the rebelling as your authority like we all do as parents than we have a big problem than we enter into the proverbial fan of power struggles
so since students are untamed
there are in accord when a core with their nature
just like your
the lion of the elephant
yes the lion and the off it
so nobody sanders and obtaining the lion and the elephant there in accord with their nature
ah
so
it's about being natural and free and yet in accord with our teachers
so this is however the father son the and the teacher student relationship
devore
a student is more in accord and more free from the teacher and a son or daughter will ever be
that's why we need a teacher beyond our father and mother to teach us were being a father and mother really is about

so going back to this snow cannot of go back and forth between mother father birth and death
for june apples another one on earth
ancestors sisters do
the thought of enlightenment but it's a of enlightenment
is that an idea about getting enlightened
it's not that
so what is it so for another juna he was the mind that season into the impermanence of birth and death
and impermanence here means that we manifest different life forms
oh different appearances
dog horse
ah sometimes people faces look like dogs or horses
are you can see the intersection between a human face and a dog face when a horse says or a fox says or you have an account of the fox and the face of the fox is a human being
and the eyes of the fox or a human being and the kindness of the fox is a human beings kindness
so we manifest different forms
different appearances
as a human being was a lay person was the monk or this culture of that culture of this race of that race
ah
and once we manifest their appearance in this moment
then we completely exert that manifestation
as a lay person as a look as a parent is a son said daughter
has an animal this moment
and then we can claim you got
when we have to completely drop it so we can manifest the next moment if we don't drop it then we're still manifesting the previous moment
and we're not ready for the next moment to arise so that we're not in the moment we're still in the previous form
and this is something that is happening moment to moment for this is how we can understand birth and death and zap
we don't need to think of past lives this life next i just this this dismal the national
birth and death appearance and manifestation total assertion in this land and the next and then dropping it off completely no trace
so we're ready for the next manifestation
and duncan says that this is the boy sat over ten thousand and arms that personally permanently has the same mind within a permanent
during the or cast our practice period
a surgeon or spoke about the the permanence of impermanence
oh that the only permanent things and permanence
and then at the end of this one of his toss he quotes quality silky roshi saying that the line of the body bodhisattva is always the same
and then i asked the shoe so the question about what is the line of the bodhisattva that stays the same
and she said perseverance
total manifestation in the moment
ah so then i wondered after the ceremony
ah about perseverance and impermanence
his perseverance and in permanent meeting that sometimes you persevere sometimes you don't
which means a kind of imperfection rather than perfection and perseverance is supposed to be one of the professions of a bodhisattva
on the other hand perseverance cannot be something permanent in the sense of something eternal love subject to change your and permanence
so this camera a good car so that the shoes of gaining this great com
ah
excellent than i was reading billion and i found the answer to the common in his physical on a language
though it's wonderful that we have his writings are left behind for us so many centuries after
so this perseverance within impermanence
is how we manifest mind and body in this place or that place and completely exert ourselves in that situation
and then when we drop that body in that mind of that moment whatever it may be pleasant or unpleasant like a don't like
completely drop it so that we ready for the next person for the next moment for the next situation for the next activity
so any of these phones and activities the enlightened self is in the changing activity itself that without self

i doing with time
my minutes
so i'm just going to and quickly by saying couple more things about a mother and father
so i said i mentioned the mother is passionate per meta
of the first example of the self evidence of things
mother is not an object outside of me she is a self object
an object but myself self object in essence not an african site but myself as other
and all things are like this
it's fashionable meter
and this self evidence of things is given to us immediately in intuition
so are good enough mother knows what the child was a subject like her but not as for object
and this a similar also to how a teacher student or student teacher practice send data
pattison diversity the students to figure out what is the teacher needs or wants
with using intuition in the same way that a mother does with her child
and the child is a like i said itself object rather than an object self or an objectified self or the mothers self as an object that's that's that's the do a mother when the child becomes the mothers object none of the mother being a chance nature
yourself object
and this the difference between do another and none to another or between the war intuition and empathy and knowledgeable intuition and empathy and of our meta is the mother is the annual intuition and compassion
it doesn't see the other as an object to please her satisfy her in somebody

and so the mother is this first self object unfortunately
we don't stop at this realization that the other me and the realization of the self nature of things which is first ever mountains and rivers there fountains and fingers and then their mouths was never once again
so when there's no mountains rivers when we lose the sense of self and it's a things then we get a task for reflections or to the special object that we are to her mother
that's the life of karma
and there are many such stories that represent the attachment to a stuff using the example of a monkey trying to grasp the image of the moon reflected in the water
does like getting attached to the month
to move but to know the self self reflection
granted the nature of things
and the father like the buddha represents the the have full function of wisdom that cause through attachment to self and attachment to them to the mother in that sense in the abdomen so the has to cut that attachment to their door mother and help the
chance separate from the mother and from a sauce from the small stuff from the eager
so both mother and father abdul manifestations and the dual manifestation of the father is
a ignorance
thinking that rules and laws and how you supposed to behave and some so for the preset are like a hand on top of your head something outside yourself and that's what needs to be
gotten rid of
that's the appropriate place for rebellion not that you live without rules or laws but that you have to find that as your own buddha-nature lot of somebody else's some some other boss who is telling you what you're supposed to be doing
and you don't want to incarnate that kind of boss for other people either
so do you have to find your children find their own
when steering and live without becoming this kind of
overlord
the mother to mother needs to creating an ideal ego
and do a follow leads to creating a new idea
the shoes are you supposed to be done what should be doing this or should be doing that know i shouldn't have done that no-show all that kind of thinking back and forth kind of regret and guilt and anxiety
or the ideal egos or this wanna be your and to the this is this process of the other person will love me
or i'm attached to this on love with this part of myself like no scissors
and it's this dual aspect of the mother and father that needs to be killed so this is part of the teaching of about jesus and towson and rinse
and i'm gonna according you are
ah a cold back for of reason
followers of the towel if you encounter a buddha kill the buddha
when you encounter a patriarch kill the patriarch
when you encounter your mother and father killed your mother and five
only in this way can you arrive at ultimate liberation
then you will be not attached to anything for only independent and free thoroughly yourself to this is kind of this radical independence the zen
but of course rinzai is following this is a teaching from the lack of a sutra and the lack of a tar sutra comments on the five deadly sins within buddhism
and the five deadly sins are murder of the mother
burger of the father
murder of the our heart or realize monk
disturbing the peace of the sisterhood of the brotherhood
and making the boot of lead due to an evil motive so these are the worst nose
so the lanka's tours to try
how does an unusual teaching on these precepts turns it on its head so you have course we don't we we literally from the dual side these are things the worst things we can do
but on the annual site that's precisely
what we need to do is drop this the war eagle is the all attachment to self this dual attachment to the father that we have said an angry with because they're they're bossing us around and whatever i or the into a mother that we can be separate from
so that's dropping that is called the slaying of mother and fun
but of course if we slay the mother and father then we actually may have a decent relationship to her mother and father then we may ask the cause that i began
ask another
hey go
can i run your shoulders for you know
are you tired
how are you feeling today
then we in fact may actually just do something as simple as that
thank you very much
questions comments

yes figure out he loved them so i have this idea of that year lacking were quite as safe house if your life is pissed because to how people and i see from your top of smidge more fall off when one side and saw the heavier
so here helping people do you see that they're often website and then you tell them to grow on the other side do you have you ever seen it getting a perfect down and forget it can maintain that or you know you understand the question before
how can you know how or how can now that we're a and right face who was just forget about you can just choose a t and eat your cookie
well you can't think too much about it made i mean are you have to just act and is sometimes you act dwelling and sometimes you act randomly
it's sometimes you leave some traces and sometimes you leave no traces
and meaning sometimes you're on and sometimes you love it off target
and but i mean a of target is
because you'd have to have empathy or compassion
but if you always please people meaning often people just want you to tell them what they already know oh what they already think of themselves and they just want to say ah that's right that's the way it is
sometimes compassion is about being compassionate with somebody's feeling in other feeling hurt if you mean this pain of that pain and so on now what led to that pain or not that's it is a question
but you you can still be empathic and compassion and somebody just for the feelings are happy but when they're creating their own pain or not that's the more difficult question and you risk alienating we're creating a rift with the person depending
on what you say let's say and you say something you rescue that you don't say anything you just leave them in the game you being supportive in that moment is a nice relief for that moment somebody understands bot is still stuck
if you're not compassionate with their defenses sometimes you have to be compassionate with people's defenses you can see that the way you're thinking about something is a way that they are holding onto something or defending but you can't go against those defenses because then they'll get really upset you
and with children as the same thing
sad
so you have to know when to be empathic with somebody's were seeing things and leave it at that and other times you have to risk not being a parent as compassionate at all
and so they made you saying this guy's for real you know this or that you know
and you use a calculated with sometimes are calculated risks sometimes you just stumble on it and that's what happens and then people have said and then you have to kind of work it out afterwards
and i think both ways or the way things go
say
something so
that you said ago
hi i'm not sure that's a country
the
the
this thank you very much yoga
i will say this restaurant so many opportunities to go wrong
i am i'm reminded of like an old version of mine
i was asking that how do you give best of somewhere in difficult situation and she said
well first you pray or open yourself up
since as then you let your kid
at which made sense
is
thank you
on and
it has he spoke about from other and south africa
seen her real family situation could you speak a little bit about the mother and father together ah horrific children yes
well they're there they're like an equation
numerator and denominator
it goes together and their functions that are not always
the same as the gender
i mean mother is a function father's a function sometimes
the mother is the
the female sometimes is the father had happens and families sometimes the father is the love the female father is a mother of
has sometimes the the the female is a father
so it happens in those combinations and permutations so it's like good cop and backup
the mother traditionally the mothers along the joker was go and find solace and comfort
and the mother has great patience
yeah understanding
it's like okay you're you're hungry already sleepy or what you want ice cream
in fall asleep on your ice cream
and the father function is the soil of wisdom
separating you from that object of desire that you think you want so much that you really done when you really want to sleep so no ice cream go to bit
period know but there's a listen listen listen that you know they just start arguing you know gonna be arguing that song so forth and they can run you very long way with the arguments or were like that yeah without teachers to
ah and the her father has to hold the line at some point and say no no me to no means know what part of now don't you understand
the and part of the oprah
so and so ideally those to have to work together
when those two don't work together then we have a problem
yeah but even if they worked together even in the best of families will have our do yourself and are suffering anyway
so it's there's no prevention for suffering in life even if you have the most ideal family appearance is so don't have the problem but the problem get a lot worse when that equation is split apart
and then the to start fighting each other and then the kids can run a truck through that
that division
as they the
thank you very much