Yeah, so I of course want to start with continuing whatever your discussion was yesterday in the small groups. I don't need reports, you know, but some inclusion of what seemed useful for all of us. Yeah, and anything else you'd like to speak about in relationship to what we've been doing for... Now three days. Okay. I'm ready and my translator is ready. Yes. I have a question concerning intention.

[01:22]

My experience is that intention works very well and it's a very subtle tool. But where putting attention on the breath, or bringing attention to the breath, somehow that intention also quite work. A few days or weeks ago you said in a different context that when intention is not 100% then it doesn't work. So in that context you said like when one even approaches or have some kind of

[02:31]

And of course it is so. And of course I assume when next week I come back here that Johanneshof still exists and the door is where the door usually is. I hope so too. So my basic world view or assumption is that things in the world are permanent and do exist next week, even though I try to work with different concepts. So the question is, how can I really change this intention in such a way that it is simply strong enough?

[04:15]

I mean, it is a concept that I have developed for 40 years, that the world is permanent, and how can I make my intention so strong? So how can I make my intention so strong that it can work with this concept that the world is permanent, or things in the world are permanent? And the other thing I noticed yesterday with the breathing test, suddenly I realized why it doesn't work. What doesn't work? To return to breathing again and again, so that this intention doesn't work. And yesterday when I tried again or studied again to bring attention to the breath again and again, So I found out or suddenly noticed that my ego on one hand does think it's a great idea

[05:18]

to have attention on the breath but Yigar does not like continuity to be in the breath rather than by itself and also in this case How can I have my attention so strong that it somehow changes things? Yes, we have these problems. But to be in the midst of the problems is not all bad. Because just that you are in the midst of the problems and you see that they are problems is already the presence of your intention.

[06:33]

Yeah. Generally you have to do something like this. I don't want to talk about it too much because basically it's just a problem you have to work with. You have to be a little tricky. And you have to wear your habits down. I mean, if you lived in Pakistan right now with 20% or 30% of the country underwater and millions of people dislodged, You would expect the doorway to be gone and the house to be gone and so forth. My point is, next week the door might not be there. A local farmhouse a while ago burned down from lightning.

[07:57]

So it might not be here. So maybe after the break, I can talk a little about working with the dynamic between the present as encounter and the present as continuity. And we actually function most fully, I think, when we make use of both continuity and encounter.

[08:58]

Maybe we can live in the most complete way if we use both. Yes, okay, let's see. Yes? I am depending on the question you asked yesterday at lunchtime, if we can say what influences, influences the spirit or anything through our sitting? I'm stuck with the question you posed yesterday that we can influence mind through sitting practice. Then if we can do that, who is it who influences? And if mind is bigger than self or ego, Do I do something with mind or does mind do something with me? Both This is a terrible kind of situation to get yourself into.

[10:34]

And I think it's true for any human being. But I think it's particularly, as we say, the dog chasing its tail. Do you say that in German? Dogs do that in German too. If you're in the water, is it the water that's getting you wet or you getting yourself wet? Without the water, you wouldn't have the choice. So the circumstances condition us. Self functions within circumstances.

[11:39]

And you can choose your circumstances. But the circumstances do much of what's happening. Okay, that's enough to say. But to go back to what you first said, Zazen, my own opinion is that repeated Zazen practice and getting through the flat learning curve called boredom actually changes the right brain, left brain dominance. I'm convinced it definitely makes them more balanced and probably the adept practitioner is right brain dominant.

[12:41]

And that's a huge change. You can change your wiring But that actually does take a lot of sitting. I mean some years. Because I think the infant or the young child, up until they start languaging the world, is probably right-brained dominant. And then you've had all the years since then to establish left-brained dominance, so it's absolutely like a miracle that you can change that. Because contemporary culture is particularly right-brained, left-brained on it. Okay. Something else? Yes.

[13:42]

I would like to report from my group and also about what since then continued to work in me. So we try to study or discuss how can I experience mind looking at an object. And someone said for me mind is the observer. And someone else said for him her mind is the field of awareness. So what we talked about continued to work in me, so for me the question arose is the body of the observer, isn't that part of mind and the observing process?

[15:28]

And is the object that I look at also part of mind? And when one looks at the object one can only use one's senses. And I can also only perceive of the object what I can perceive with my sense organs. So that is also part of mind. Or is the object in its suchness part of mind? And then the question came up does mind exist at all or is it just something borrowed temporarily? Like it is said in the Quran. Someone else said mind is always changing.

[16:49]

Like each moment like establishes itself moment after moment, the moment establishes itself and just like that mind establishes itself anew in every moment. And someone said that being here in the seminar he or she experiences not just an individual mind but also a shared mind. Much more was said but I don't remember. Your mind doesn't remember. So that which you've forgotten exists separate from mind?

[17:49]

But at least separate from present memory. But it's probably still working. I don't know if any of you can understand how happy it makes me that you have these problems. If we don't have these problems, there's no progress. And it really is quite a wonderful process, I think, of sorting out the distinctions we make, and refining the distinctions and dropping distinctions and so forth. And you don't have to know much about the history of Buddhism to know Buddhism has never completely solved these problems.

[19:09]

But you encouraged him. So different schools have come to different conclusions about emphasis. So we're working. When you have these problems, we're working at the experiential edge of those. If the object for you is the entirety of the object for you, I'll say it that way for now. The entirety of the object for you is what your senses and mind actualize.

[20:14]

That may be the entirety of the object for you. But you also know your own senses and mind are limited. You forgot something. So there's always the dimension of mystery of what you don't know about the object and might appear next time you look at it. So I think we again, maybe after the break, we can look at the role of objects in establishing the context of the world.

[21:15]

The role of objects in establishing the context of the world. when we establish the context of the world. So I've been living here for four months. And I've started to read again Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. And reading this book again and living here, I've come again to the practice of accepting.

[22:27]

just to be there and just to let these problems arise, just to be where they are. Before I moved here I just had an apartment and it was like a cave with electricity and water and I just came here to do Zazen and now since I stopped working I've moved here because I wanted to experience the problems that come up and to just let them be and look at them So first when I started sitting first I counted my breath and then after some time I just followed my breath And I found out that it's really difficult to just follow it and influence it.

[24:00]

I always wondered that you have a very nice long exhale. And I find that switching from counting breaths to just following the breaths, that that has made changes in my life. And to just let thinking and feelings be as they are until I can go back to my breath. And living here is a kind of confirmation that it's okay to let the problems be there, and if I forget something in the kitchen, well, I've just forgotten something.

[25:26]

Yes, and this is also accepted in a certain way, that it is a practice to go out with it, then there is the possibility to find a different way, a different approach, to get a better overview. And the fact that here in this community it is accepted that when such things happen, it is maybe helpful to at some other time do it differently or not forget it. What do you mean not accept? Maybe not forget. Is it better? Probably better, yeah. These are my experiences living here and I just wanted to tell you. I find it important to articulate my experience and to share it with others.

[26:57]

Thanks. Yeah, striving to do something, trying to perfect something, exists most positively in a larger field of acceptance. If there are no mistakes, there is no creativity or development or anything else. And I would say that acceptance is the most basic initial attitude in Buddhist practice. Whatever appears, you accept. Then you might do something about it. And what you were saying earlier, reminded me that from what we've been speaking about yesterday, today, the two most essential objects for attention in practice

[28:18]

in developing practice is attention to the breath and attention to the mind. So one of the things that distinguishes Buddhism is the consciousness of consciousness. To be always aware on every perception that the object perceived points to and actualizes, actuates mind simultaneously. We can call it something to remind yourself the two-fold object. One fold is the external object and one fold is the internal perception of the object within mind And it's possible to come to the point where

[29:52]

Both are always present. Mind is on the breath and mind is on the mind. Attention and consciousness, the initial job is to protect you from tigers. When there's not many tigers in the vicinity, wisdom is the better choice. Use of consciousness. You know, this is just an anecdote. We've had three cats now in Crestone, my family. And they've all been... disappeared after a year or a year and a half.

[31:19]

And we don't think it's the coyotes because these cats are pretty good at climbing and coyotes aren't so good. Well, it certainly could be the coyotes. owls, hawks or eagles. So we decided that it's just not fair to cats to make them our pets and then feed them to owls. So I got a call the other day and I said, they have a new cat. And it's really rather all black on one side, all white on the other side.

[32:31]

I know when it curls up on a cushion, it looks like a yin and yang. And they sent me a photograph. Very cute. And I said, well, I don't think this is reason enough to keep another cat after we've lost three. And Mary Louise said, well, this was given back by the hawks. I said, what do you mean, a stork brought it? What did she say next? She said a woman found this cat that had been dropped by a hawk and still had the talon marks in its body. Because it was too big to carry. And then this cat had kittens.

[33:31]

So how could we refuse? It's a cycle. We'll return this cat. It was funny. Anyway, it fell into our lap, so we have this yin and yang cat. Okay, someone else? Yes. I have a question whether it's the right way how I'm doing so when it happens that I experience unstructured mind then is for me the Then the physical component of that is not so much the breath but a location,

[34:50]

The location feels like at the base of the brain, like at the lower back of the head. Then when I somehow root that, or make that take root, then I can stay longer in this unstructured. That's good. As I say, all mental phenomena have a physical component, etc. And you can actually, if you aren't thinking self, you can feel the brain thinking. You can feel the activity somehow.

[36:30]

Even though I'm sure people tell you there's no nerves or something. But anyway, you can feel it. No. I don't want you all waiting around for a big experience of unstructured mind. And the word for unstructured mind is samadhi. But there's many samadhis, and there's many degrees of unstructured mind. If we just take the attitude I've mentioned, uncorrected mind, and you Bring this attitude, not correcting your zazen, not correcting your posture, not correcting anything, just letting whatever happens, happen, accept it.

[37:52]

That's on the spectrum of unstructured mind. In other words, if what you're doing leads toward less and less structure, the effect on you is something like unstructured mind. the mind you have is moving toward more and more structure. It's like being, you know, claustrophobic. It's like, sometimes I say, starting to put your luggage down is putting your luggage down. Even if it's gone all down.

[39:03]

It's starting to pick up your luggage already. So practicing with the attitude of un-directed mind, of course you still kind of pump up your posture with the Dharma pump and all that. Is putting the luggage of structure down. Now we should have a break pretty soon, but anybody else wants to say something? I just mentioned what you said about the two, there is my, there is the present, my and the mine. I was touched by what you just said that there is both attention on the breath and attention on the mind.

[40:11]

I have the feeling that any attention, any Awareness, any object, leads to mind itself as if there was like a sucking. Ideally. Yes. After these conversations, I actually know After all these discussions, I know less than ever what mind is.

[41:18]

Yes, this is another example of progress. but after what Leo said and others said I felt how strong a forming power the mind can have so that the world is not what we always thought it was and that it also does not change through our ascent practice, and yet our being in the world can change completely.

[42:22]

But not the world? Did I understand you correctly? Yes, exactly, you think that something will change if you practice, but So he now understands that it's not the world that we can change through Zazen, but it's our being in the world that is changed through Zazen practice. And that gives me faith and optimism to continue practicing. Our being in the world also changes the world. Okay, yes. Many things we are discussing here have an influence and I can clearly feel it and I am aware of it, but I cannot think through it.

[43:39]

And I was in the group with Paul Rosenblum. And the discussion was very good for me. One word or one sentence Paul said was like a piece in a puzzle that had always been missing. And that was the statement that everything is about the heart and about love. And for me, it really fits well perfectly into what we've been discussing and doing here. Okay. Good old Paul, he warms things up.

[45:07]

Yeah, I mean, if you're in a strict regime of Zen practice. For the first, yeah, like four years or so, you don't read. You're not supposed to read. And yet you have to go to Doksan quite often. And in the monasteries in Japan at least, the one I practiced in for the longest time, you only have squat toilets, you know, with no water, it's just all water. And there's no electricity. So when you use the toilets, you find matches and sometimes notes in the toilet. Because they're trying to study, at least know a few technical terms.

[46:50]

So they get a match and they're watching and sometimes they drop it and then they try to reach it, didn't fit out. So the conditions for study are quite inhibiting. And the point is that you sort these out in your own experience long before you try to name them and categorize them. At some point when you do start to study, you say, oh, other people have these experiences. Now if anyone who has not yet said anything would suddenly feel inspired to raise your hand, I know who you are. But like Paul, I still love you. She's doing that.

[48:05]

That's the smallest violin in the world.

[48:08]

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