I don't know if you want to really record this. As you know, I wasn't supposed to give the talk tonight. I'm scheduled to talk a couple of weeks from now, but it fell to me. But I did want to talk about this one particular topic and there aren't really so many of us here and I think the next time I talk I might talk about the same thing again because I feel it's so important. So I want this to be a kind of a share kind of talk. Okay? Is that all right? Are you there? And short. You know, practicing is difficult. Did you notice that? It's not easy.

[01:04]

It's wonderful and it's difficult. And all of us are really doing our best. We are really trying our best. This is true. Everybody. So, what I want to talk tonight about with you, not at you, with you, for just a short period of time, and then we'll talk about it again, is Right Speech. And the reason I want to talk about it is because, for a number of reasons, Every so often at Zen Center some incident will happen that will affect a particular person or a number of people. You're smiling. You're familiar with this. It'll affect a number of people and what happens is the Sangha kind of spins around it. And the Sangha spins around it for lots and lots of reasons, some of which is because it's very entertaining. because looking at ourselves all the time gets weary, sometimes boring, and sometimes just painful.

[02:09]

And we'll take anything that comes along for distraction. And I'm really sorry to say, but often other people are the recipients of our need for distraction. And it's too bad because I've already basically said enough because I trust you a lot and I trust your practice. So I figure all I have to do is really say this and you will pay attention more to your speech. You'll pick it up and try to work with it in some way. So I don't really feel I need to belabor the point so much. But I'll just talk a little bit more. I lost my train of thought. Well, maybe it'll come back later.

[03:11]

So anyway, speech is... Words are very powerful, and the reason why words are powerful is because we grab onto them. We believe words. We believe that they actually mean something, and we invest a lot in them. So for this and a number of other reasons, the Buddha was very, very careful. Let's forget, not the Buddha, Siddhartha, our friend, working with the same stuff that we work with only He was good at it, you know. He was really good at it. Anyway, he was there, and as people came to him, and he noticed how the Sangha came together, what he noticed was that he had to mention right speech. And he felt that it was so important that of the ten precepts, three of them are directly pointing to speech. And of the eight of the Eightfold Path, one is Right Speech.

[04:17]

So what happens when we have this kind of distraction... I'll try to get back to the other. You okay? What happens when we allow ourself this kind of distraction is it hurts ourself in many, many ways. First of all, because we're distracted in the first place. It hurts ourself because of the way we use speech is often directed at ourselves with the conversation that we have in our mind, which we do wrong speech to ourselves all the time. In there it's happening. It hurts the so-called the other person who is the recipient of this speech. Please don't forget. And it hurts... Well, that's clear and I'll tell you how in a minute. And fundamentally it hurts us, the Sangha.

[05:27]

It leads to an undermining of the trust in the Sangha because we begin to disrespect people in the Sangha, both the people who are speaking that way, because we know when it happens, and the person who the wrong speech person is talking about. You can fix my English. Right? Doesn't that make sense? And the way we ourselves are hurt as well as the other, and I'll get back to the Sangha being hurt, is that what we do with these words is we put people in a box, we make a concept of who they are, like somebody hurt me, and so you tell yourself first that they are such and such kind of person, and then you reify that thought to yourself,

[06:34]

And then, to anyone who will listen, and we've all done this, we basically vomit this bile. We dump this stuff onto anyone who will listen. And it's not just the responsibility of the person doing the dumping. It's also the responsibility of those of us who are listening. Because if we don't want this kind of disrespect in the Sangha. Disrespect in the sense that we really are doing our best. Even when somebody makes a mistake, they don't really usually want to do it on purpose. And if they are, they're in real pain. So when we have that word, that concept, and we reify it, and we believe that content, we have put that person, as well as ourselves, into this box And it's damaging to them because they get a kind of a storyline about them, and then other people kind of believe it by hearsay or whatever.

[07:42]

And then that person isn't allowed the space to change, which is the gift that we give each other by joining the Sangha. The point is to give each other, to hold each other in some way, gently. And somewhat safely, best we can. You know, we all make mistakes. But gently, so that that person, while looking at themselves and knowing themselves to be maybe hurtful in some way, gets a chance to change. So then other people, when they see that change, can then relate to them in a different way. But if you're relating to that person always by this box, they are stuck and on a pin. And a lot of times you see a person trying to respond differently, and then everybody keeps responding to them in their old way because they're responding to them through this concept and not really seeing who they are because they already know who they are because somebody told them.

[08:44]

I think that was a run-on sentence. You understand what I mean? We've both been on both sides of this. We've all been... I said both because I think of you as like us. We've all spoken ill in a harmful way, in an unwholesome way, in a way that we regret. And we have all been recipients of that laziness. Maybe I've actually said enough tonight.

[09:53]

I think you understand. And I don't want to belabor the point. I will, for a moment, if anybody can think of or would like to share with us, an example of this kind of thing. And you don't have to use names. As a matter of fact, most of the time when we talk and make an example or share an example, it's better not to use anybody's name. It's safe that way. It's much safer that way. But if you can think of something that you've done recently or that you've heard recently, or if you have a question, if you want to talk a little bit, we can talk. Was I too much? Yes. I resonate with what you're saying 100%.

[10:53]

I've spent virtually three years building up that dynamic to a point where it's a cumulative effect for me was to decide that I really couldn't stay here anymore. And the reasons I would give is that I haven't got teachers who are worth anything, that the institution is not one that I can trust, that I don't see anything happening over there which I feel provides any validation or support to my being at all. And it got to a point where All those statements were made with the decision I'm getting out of here. What I think I realised ultimately was the sheer power of what you're saying blew me out of place.

[11:58]

This was the decision that I'd taken with any space or freedom in it at all. Freedom for myself, or as you just put it, and I've expressed this the same way, the space for people to change. But if I've got everybody in a box, then that's where I put them. I'm not giving them any space to show me they can be different. And the constant emphasis is on the idea that it's there, [...] there. I'm not seeing how much of it is actually myself. How that's doing me, well, that's quite talking about something. I mean, you know, suddenly I realise that I'm poisoning myself. And if I'm very, very lucky, I might be given an opportunity to rescind that and carry on if I'm lucky. I was lucky. You were lucky. you and somebody else decided that perhaps that was worth giving me some space to readdress that.

[13:01]

So what's your say on that? Yeah, I totally agree with that. Nigel brings up an interesting point. Another way that we do this is when we... May I use you? You just said an example. You used the word projection. Did he say projection? He said blame. Did you say blame? I forgot the word you used. But when you put it out on other people, when it was really his own, he said that. So we can talk about it a little bit. So that's projection. That's a classic example of projection. And that's what we do so very much. And when we are unaware, when we don't take responsibility for our own feelings, not just our own feelings, that's a funny way of saying it, Because there isn't an us taking responsibility for our feelings.

[14:01]

Feelings arise, and when we're not conscious that they're there, usually because they're too painful for us, there's something in there that we don't want to look at. Out they go. An institution is prime target. People in authority are prime targets. Anybody who looks different is a prime target. Anybody different is a prime target. We put it all out there, and it really is hurtful. It's really hurtful. Now, when somebody finally understands that, it's a big understanding, like Nigel just did. It's a big, big understanding because you can take... You can never take it back. Once it's out there, it's said, and its ripple effect keeps going. So when we say something like, whatever, and it creates karma, we spend...

[15:05]

the next, you know, could be the next few hours, days, weeks, years, cleaning up that karma. I'm laughing because it's both funny and such a waste of time, you know, and so sad all at the same time. So maybe that's enough. What are they? That's not the way it's written, but that certainly, that is a very, that is one of the ways of doing wrong speech traditionally, but it's called something else. It's actually worse. Does anybody, can anybody say? Slander. it's a cutting more cutting but idle speech is also right in there because it's so destructive because if you hear somebody just well i don't want to go into it i don't want to talk too long i just but yeah what's the other one what's another one praise self now that's an interesting one because it used to be praise self at the expense of others which i think is good to have in there but we took it out we just say now i think praise self is it still in there

[16:37]

It's still at the expense of others. And what's another one? Can't think of this one. Lying. All right. So like I said, it's five after, and I think that's enough. I've really shared with you kind of what my concern is, and probably the next time I talk, I'll talk about the same thing as well. And what I would like, if, you know, on top of you are already whatever you're practicing, so... But anyways, maybe between now and the next time I talk, if you can in some way just notice Just notice how you speak. How you make jokes is a big one. Just notice it. And then maybe next time when I talk, we can talk about maybe some specific things. And kind of get it out there in our group, in our sangha, that we actually are committed to paying attention to how we speak to each other and about each other.

[17:56]

And develop a sangha that can trust each other and respect our efforts and be careful about... Just be careful with each other. We're all worth it. Okay. May our intention...

[18:19]

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