You know, in practice period we spoke about how the last server after the first serving vows to the zendo is an essentialization of the whole form of the meal serving. Often you can spot such moments because it's an unnecessary thing to do. And being unnecessary or not required for the eating or serving. It's a mental stream experience and not an experience in the physical world. But it's physicalized as the last server bows to the Sangha.

[01:20]

Yeah, and the little click we make when we pour the water into the bowl at the end of the meal. That little click is a reference to the Huayen and tantric teachings of inner penetration. But again, it's completely not necessary. It doesn't make the food taste better or the water pour out any better or anything else. Yeah, but... It represents interdependence and interpenetration, that little reminder that we can feel.

[02:42]

But this also relates to the wider overall practice of Mindfulness. Mindfulness within gestational time. As the practice period knows and some of the rest of you know, I've been speaking about bodily time, contextual time and gestational time. And in presencing gestational time, ripening time, It's very helpful to be very... The gestational process is enhanced by your attentional presence or implicit, tacit presence.

[04:06]

I should have known, but I didn't. I'm sorry. And often, like the tap or the bow, it's a meaningless moment or a moment that doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything. A little hole or space in the gestational field. Where all the... webs, lines of the situation are coming together occasionally. Now that's a rather subtle practice of mindfulness and somewhat less subtle but essential.

[05:32]

is to know the trigger of situations. If you get to know the triggers, like you can tell usually a day or two in advance before you might get the flu, say. Or you can tell from a little click in the I experience a little click in the head when maybe in a day or so or a few hours you might get a headache. Of course we're not magical. We can't tell every trigger of every situation. But you can get to know the triggers, some of the triggers more and more successfully.

[06:55]

When you sort of know something for no reason which anticipates something that's going to happen. So the triggers or the initial moments of situations are quite important. For example, again, the Zendo field just before we bring in the cleaning boards As I've mentioned to some of the Sokus, it's very important that the Zendo really feels settled. Nearly silent with very little movement. So there's a kind of a transition pours through that little that silence and no movement into the meal.

[08:17]

But, you know, since we're trying to keep this schedule, which is a little tight, I think, for some of us, we're trying to make the meal fit the schedule instead of the schedule fit the meal, or we're trying to do both at once. We're usually starting bringing the eating boards a little too soon. But Dogen says 80% is perfect. And we're around 90, so it's okay. Okay. But also, you know, the moment when a zazen period starts, particularly the first one of the morning and the afternoon and so forth, it's quite important that everyone be here on time.

[09:37]

And the pressure of trying to see if everyone's here on time is going to force our Ino into early retirement. I mean, any retirement she had would be early. At her age... But, you know, I think it's the problem of, well, we don't really know the distance between the buildings and so forth. At a heiji, they have a real gaitan. The tan is the raised platform. And Gai means outside. So the Gaitan is where those guests sit who have not some Zen teacher or monk from another temple comes. The guests are a visiting teacher or something like that.

[10:52]

Unless you've gone through Tangario, you're not allowed to go in the Zendo. Thomas, are you here? Yeah, well, we're not going to ask you to go through Tangario, so... I don't know why we're so nice to you. Anyway, but you deserve it. Anyway, so such persons sit in the Gaitan. And if you're late, you sit in the Gaitan. And it's a rather nice place to sit. But here, pillows between the... coats, you feel like somebody's old coat thrown away.

[11:58]

You feel like in a used clothes shop. So I don't know what we should do. Maybe what we ought to do is because the We're not used to the periods being announced by the Densho. Maybe we should switch back to using the Han. So if we have a 15-minute... Do we have three Hans or only two? We have three. Five or six. No, we really can have one every few feet. And they're all going at once.

[12:58]

This is good. I mean, we'll have to have Evelyn be the leader. Hans, you can do drums. You can do Hans. So anyway, if we have a Han in each place and they're 15-minute Hans instead of the 10-minute Densho. Normally a Sashin in a practice period is different than a Sashin not in a practice period. Normalerweise ist ein Sashin in der Praxisperiode anders als ein Sashin außerhalb der Praxisperiode. And one of the differences, some of the differences are you take away some of the extras. Und einer der Unterschiede ist, dass man einige der Extras wegnimmt. Yeah, you take away the mokugyo, for instance, and the big kesu bell. and you take away the Han and the Densho is more like it's more if you've been in the practice period in doing the Sashin you now know the schedule more like you can wake up without an alarm clock

[14:22]

Your body knows the time. I'm rather amused sometimes in the morning. I do, of course, nine bows if I'm the doshi. And a year ago I was in less good physical shape, I guess. I could barely do nine bows. But now I feel pretty good and I can do the nine bows. I hope you're all impressed. I'm getting younger all the time. Well, I don't know about that, but... Yeah, so, but sometimes because I get to face nine vows, I count them. Oh, really, can I get through the nine? And sometimes I lose count.

[15:24]

And my mind is telling me this is the ninth vow or seventh vow or something. And so then I say, okay, look, ask my body. I ask my body what bow it is. My body says this is the eighth, and it's right. My mental count is not right, but my body counts it right. And then occasionally the Doan's wrong and then I'm really confused. Was that really 11 bars? I don't think I've ever had a Doan do 11. I've had them do 8 and 10. So anyway.

[16:37]

So I would like us to, from tomorrow morning, go back to the usual way for Sesshins, not in practice period, to have Hans... So I would like us to return to the normal way, the usual way we used to do sashins, where we have 15-minute Han hits and not the 10-minute Densho. And Ottmar says that's possible. So one in and one outside the Hudson House, or here inside this? One in Hudson House. Outside. The house is outside. Well, we could put it inside, whatever works best for the residents.

[17:40]

Outside. OK. Maybe he doesn't want to move. No, stay at . Oh, I see. OK. Okay. Now, I mentioned Da Wei yesterday, who was a disciple of Yuan Wu, who was the compiler, the main compiler of the Blue Cliff Records. And Dawi lived from 1089 to 1163 or something like that. And so the Norman conquest of England was, what, 1066, right?

[18:52]

And all that. When the French took over England and became the aristocracy, et cetera. When the French took over England and became the aristocracy, et cetera. when the French took over England, at least became the aristocracy, and made English half French. And half German. Anyway, I always think it's interesting to look at what was going on in Europe at the same time as what was going on in China or Japan. Anyway, Da Wei was the... Darui was the one who introduced the most the use of the word wado in koans.

[20:00]

examination and practice of Dungsan's saying. I am not it, but it is now me. So since, you know, I think, I don't know who started us on this, maybe it was... Maybe it was you, as you were starting reading Timeless Spring and the Hokyo Zanmai and so forth. Anyway, so we've been sort of like me, muddling along with I am not it, it is now me. Also, ich habe jetzt schon eine ganze Weile so rumgelaufen mit diesem ich bin nicht es und es ist jetzt ich.

[21:34]

And the I am not it, the it of I am not it is there. Going there. Dieses es von ich bin nicht es, das ist dort, dorthin gehend. And the it of now it is me is coming here. So exploring this phrase in the spirit of Daoist, who said, as you know, if you're going to study the way, you must know what it is to be here. Okay. So, you know, the it of it is now me is pointing toward us. It's an it of the opposite directionality.

[22:49]

So how am I going to express that? I even think of things of a phrase of Dylan's and a mama here on my mind. Ich denke sogar an den Satz von Dylan. Wer hat das noch gesungen? You're on my mind. Mama. I've got you on my mind or something like that. He's always writing about women in his life who nearly destroyed him. Er schreibt immer über Frauen aus seinem Leben, die ihn fast zerstört haben. He says... You're killing me and turning me into an old man and I'm not even 25. In that song he says, you may think this is just a riff, this test show is just a riff. Or that you're killing me is just, I'm just saying that.

[24:03]

But you'd say that, but you wouldn't say that if you'd been in a tunnel and fallen down 69 or 70 feet falling over a barbed wire fence. But you wouldn't say that if you were in a tunnel and fell over a wire fence and fell 69 or 70 feet deep. That's when the most... unpleasant things I've ever heard of. Being in a tunnel and falling down 70 feet over a barbed wire fence. Who would have think of that? But practice is sometimes like that. You think I'm just, you know, riffing with you, but hey, this is serious. Volker, do you have trouble hearing? It's okay? Because you could come sit here.

[25:04]

And he also says, it's the color, maybe, perhaps it's the color of a sun-caught fly. Und er sagt auch, vielleicht ist es die Farbe einer von der Sonne gefangenen Fliege. Uncovering the crossroads I'm standing at. Die die Kreuzung aufdeckt, an der ich stehe. It's also actually a cut flat, a sun cut flat, but I always heard it as a sun caught fly. So that's my experience of it. I don't understand either one.

[26:08]

A sun, a fly caught in the sun, which uncovers the crossroads I'm standing in. Yeah, I said that. Oh, good. But she doesn't understand a word. No. Yeah, what's the sun cut flat? Yeah, that's what the actual words are. I guess it must mean... Anyway, sometimes mindfulness is like that. When the sun caught fly, you suddenly feel. It's like the click of the bowl against the bowl. Manchmal ist Achtsamkeit so. So wie eine von der Sonne gefangene Fliege. Und das ist wie das Klicken der Schale, der Wasserschale an der Schale. Anyway, I've been exploring this, I am not it, but it is now me.

[27:12]

And even these phrases of Dylan come up. And the two phrases from yesterday, which I think are, you know, for me have been quite important. And they have never occurred to me until yesterday. But they came out of exploring Dungschan's I am not it, etc. One of the phrases is an attentional unit. And I came to that because what I'm trying to do here is express, share with you how the practice of a phrase leads to other phrases which sometimes are more specific and effective for you.

[28:16]

Hidden in a phrase are other phrases. Often hidden and coming out through your trying to experience the initial phrase. Okay, so an attentional unit. As a kind of synonym for appearance. But appearance seems to belong to a phenomena. It's in the direction of phenomena. And an attentional unit belongs to you.

[29:20]

So if a tree appears to you as you're stepping out of the zendo, the appearance of the tree seems to belong to the tree. It's waiting for you, but it belongs to the tree. But if you use the phrase attentional unit, it's very clear that the tree is an attentional unit through your attention. dann wird ganz klar, dass der Baum eine Aufmerksamkeitseinheit ist, die es durch deine Aufmerksamkeit gibt. And I find the exploration of that phrase as a tensional unit. In English, I don't know what you... I'm sorry, you guys are... But you know English too, okay. embeds me in phenomena, embeds, embeds me in phenomena in the world in a different way than appearance.

[30:28]

And if I connect, if it's a sensorial unit, or a... an attentional unit, like yesterday ladling. This attention begins to seep into your movements, into your body. I think when I was talking about this, I was thinking of Christian Will designing prosthetic limbs. Because if you do that, I presume you have to analyze movement. Weil ich nehme an, wenn du das machst, dann musst du wahrscheinlich Bewegung analysieren.

[31:58]

And I use the word detail. Detail literally means to tailor, to cut up and tailor things and put them together. Und ich benutze dieses Wort Detail und das bedeutet Dinge zusammenzuschneidern, also auseinanderzuschneiden und sie dann to cut them up and to put them together, sew them together. So you have to look at the details of a movement picking up a glass very carefully, I suspect. So if you practice with attentional unit on your bodily movements and your sensorial apprehension, I'm finding that attention begins to seep into the body, into your situations in a new way. And for me it tends to make the world feel like an attentional unit.

[33:09]

So you're developing your attentional possibilities. And air now me. Yeah. Breath air me. This is the other phrase that came out of my exploration of it is now me. With again the feeling that the breath, which was like just air on the planet, as I said, becomes me, and creates me, me, a me-ness, me-ness, me-ness, as a location. And location means to settle oneself somewhere in English.

[34:12]

So I find that to practice with attentional unit and breath, air, me create really the experience of it is now me. But not a self-me, but a location-me where the world, in which the world appears. Since I'm trying to fit the schedule without any ornament, I'm going to stop now. But there are a couple of things I really... No, I won't. Thank you very much.

[35:26]

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