Before long we'll have a bigger window. What I want to talk about today is my study period. We call it a study period, but I don't know if there's an appropriate name. Practice period. isn't quite right either. For one month, for the month of November, we have a, what I maybe call, mind-gathering period. And then we have Rohatsa Sashin, at the end, Five Day Sashin, commemorating Buddha's enlightenment This is, in life, sashim literally means something like embracing mind, a period of embracing mind.

[01:26]

And since we don't make a distinction between mind and body, actual meaning is to embrace whole being. So, a study period, or a practice period, I like to think of it as a mind-gathering period. A period of getting everything together before we die. Before we die, we want to set all of our affairs into order. A monk, actually, a Zen monk, has just a few possessions, you know, a bowl and some traveling articles and some clothes, and enough money to pay for his funeral.

[02:44]

So everything is well thought out beforehand. He doesn't want to be a burden on people. He wants to have things taken care of himself. So that when he dies, when he passes through, people won't be burdened by that. So, in a sense, you know, seishin is like dying. It's a kind of death. So this month of November is the time leading up to our death.

[03:51]

Buddha's enlightenment, Buddha's great death, but also Buddha's great life. We don't talk about death without talking about life. There's an interesting story. A monk asked Joshu, the master Joshu, all things return to the One. Eventually, everything returns to its origin. All things return to the One. He said, where does the One return to? Joshi said, when I was in Ching Chau or someplace, I made a robe out of hemp that weighed seven pounds.

[05:10]

It's a very famous story. I'm sure everybody's heard this story. When I was in Ching Chau, I made a robe that weighed seven pounds. Choshu doesn't make some distinction between going and coming, or between absolute and relative activity. When we die, we also live, or are born, dying and being born. You can say two sides of one activity, but we can say we're going toward dying.

[06:17]

But going toward dying is also, you can say we're going toward living. There's a way to express it as going to the coming from. but coming from the going to. So, this month of November, we gather everything, all of the loose ends of our life together. in preparation for a great death. So it's also, you know, like a good season.

[07:23]

Fall. Next season will be winter. And it's in keeping with the seasons. So this kind of sesshin is like a renewal. Spring is when things start to come up again. Through the snow. There are many poems about through the snow. something green is already coming up. This particular study period or practice period is a little different than the one that we

[08:34]

are usually done. Originally, we wanted to, I felt that it would be good to just have a limited kind of activity for whoever could participate. But I can't actually go along with that. I can't divide one kind of practice from another. I can't say these people are doing this and those people are doing some lesser practice. People who are engaged in study period as a commitment, sitting three times a day and so forth, provide the energy for our study period, provide the nucleus of the energy.

[09:43]

But everyone is involved, should be involved. So, our study period is really for the whole Sangha. And the energy should extend in all directions. So without making some distinction, everyone should just do the best thing they can, the very best. This is also Now this study period is a time to look at various problems that we have in our life. Each one of us has some different problem, some different difficulty, some hindrance or some block to our development.

[11:01]

This is a time for looking at that. What is it that makes it difficult for me? So, by simplifying our life, by, it's like pruning a tree. If we, when you prune your tree, you know, you start the way I do it. Everybody has a different way of pruning trees. I start with the smaller branches all the way around until I see what the real shape of things is. And then I can keep going around and around in order to keep the whole tree balanced. And cutting, cutting, cutting. And then going deeper in and cutting. If you cut out some of the deep, some of the main branches right away, the tree will cry.

[12:10]

You might ruin the tree, ruin the shape of the tree. So you have to be careful how you trim, how you prune. Start with something small and look at it, then start with something else small. Little by little, we have to take care of it. If we can do just some small thing, take care of some small loose end, one by one, like that, then our effort will be realistic. And we can feel some actual progress. And we can continue.

[13:14]

But if we try to do something too much, some big thing, we just get discouraged and then give up. For me, if I can just clean up the dusty corners and start with realistic, simple things, but really concentrate and not forget, then little by little I can prepare my life activity. so that when time for sashin comes, I feel prepared. There's nothing holding me back, and nothing left undone.

[14:19]

This is very important. It's kind of like New Year's. When New Year's comes, we don't have to make some unrealistic resolution, like, I'm going to stop drinking, stop smoking, something that's very hard. We can resolve to do our life realistically. My New Year's resolution is to resolve to do something realistically. We always want to make large strides, but if we can do the small steps, something easily, every step of the way we'll have some satisfaction in it.

[15:28]

And if each one of us does some small, makes some small progress, the influence and encouragement will flow. So this is the flavor of this sunny day. To little by little clean up the loose ends and prune our trees. Being very careful to keep it in balance. And to give it some light and air. without ruining it.

[16:54]

You have to be careful. Maybe you have a question or if there's something you'd like to discuss How do you deal with the mistakes that we're always making? And sometimes it seems like I just accept them and say nobody's perfect. And then other times I keep thinking and I keep remembering the mistakes I've made and what to do with the mistakes.

[17:58]

I think the main thing is to know that it's a mistake. At some point, I think we just can't stand it anymore and we start to do something about it. One of the advantages of practicing with other people is that we keep coming up against our difficulty. People show us our mistake and we can't avoid it. go away by ourselves, it's easier to avoid. So kind of retreating is a way of avoiding it, and going away is a way of avoiding it. But if we stand our ground, you know, or stay in our place, then we get a lot of feedback, or we become made aware of it, so that we can't hide it.

[19:07]

It just We have to go through it. We have to do something. So, little by little, we can do that. We can correct ourselves. Sometimes, there's nothing we can do. So, in some way, we have to live with what we are. But when we make an effort, and when we see what our shortcomings or difficulties are, and we make an effort, that effort itself is very meaningful. Just the effort to do something. people will treat us very kindly through our effort and it makes it a lot easier.

[20:17]

So, we're always working on something. If we're not working on something, either we're completely resolved or we're just not aware. But I don't know anyone who's completely resolved. Sometimes we think we are. We think we're completely resolved and anything I do is okay, you know. But that anything is short-sighted. There's a kind of feeling and then, you know, anything I do is okay. For someone who has completely resolved everything, that's true. But for us, it's not so. So our task is to work on ourselves.

[21:29]

We're okay the way we are, as long as we're working on ourselves. If I know that you're making an effort, then there's a real connection, a real bond. But if you don't care, then nothing's happening. And if I'm making an effort, then you feel a real bond. real subjective life. It's like handing something with two hands.

[22:33]

If you hand something with two hands, this is no subject and no object. Even though objects are there, it's total. But if you hand something like this, with one hand, it makes an object out of the thing. It makes an object of the thing that you're handing, and it makes an object of the receiver. So, when something is done this way, then there's total connection. No subject and no object. So when we have that kind of give and take, or that kind of interaction in our life, it shows our effort to... That's our practice effort, actually.

[23:47]

to close the gap between things and reality. When I say things and reality, I mean how we express our absolute nature is through how we take care of things in relation to each other. When our attention is like that, then we don't have to worry so much about what's wrong with me. At that point, there's nothing wrong. There's no separation. And we know what to do. So practice is always based on this attitude.

[25:04]

No separation between the giver and the receiver and the object. The biggest reason for our difficulty is when we separate ourselves. Then we start talking too much, we start making mistakes, and we start acting lonely or funny. So Soto Zen practice, especially, is based on paying attention to details. Meaning, hand something with two hands. Pay attention to what is this. Don't treat things as objects. Don't see yourself as an object.

[26:04]

If you think that yourself is this object, no matter what you try to do, it won't come out right. It's just making patches, just patching on a personality. So how we actually work on ourselves is to give up to give up, to just put ourselves into it. Treating everything with great respect. That's called daily life practice. It's also called genjo koan. How our life proceeds. From Zazen, how our life proceeds moment by moment in daily life.

[27:16]

From Zazen, becoming one with everything. No subject or object different. Everything is myself, this bowl, handing it to you, receiving, giving and receiving. But, you know, Soto Zen, when we come into the Zen door, everybody bows to a fish, and bows to this, and bows to that, and always keeps bowing and going. This comes out of that attitude. This kind of intense, intensified way of doing something, intensified way of Respect comes out of that attitude that everything is myself.

[28:20]

Don't treat things as objects. In a lecture Suzuki Roshi was talking about Dogen, that when Dogen took a drink of water out of the river with a scoop, he drank half of the water, but he put the other half back. Not because he wanted to conserve water, not for some ecological reason, but just out of some deep feeling. I have some very deep feelings for things.

[29:28]

So when we forget this kind of attitude, we call that being careless. Don't be careless. Don't forget. What is the place in this practice period or special time

[31:40]

of what you think of often as austerity, it's like giving up things, or changing your diet, or that sort of thing. I'm not, you know, it's not like Lent. Not that I think that that's wrong. That's very good. But I don't think we have to give up something. or do something austere. I think I mentioned when we started that we live on the lean side, you know, a little bit on the lean side, so that rather than take on things, we prune and see how nice it is to feel some breathing space. or lightness in our life.

[32:47]

Just lighten ourselves and not take on things, not burden ourselves with something, and not to cut down on our stimulus. Maybe that was it. Cut down on our stimulus. to kind of cool our mind a bit. We lead very busy lives, all of us. And we have lots of things. And it's very hard to control things that come into your life. We have things coming into our life from all directions. And we have to make choices constantly. And ordinarily, you know, things come in, and we say, well, I'll try this, and I'll do this. We shelf put these things on, after we play with them for a little while, we put them on a shelf.

[33:53]

So, we have a great collection of things that are on our shelves and kind of slow us down and keep us weighted down. So, this is the time to look at those things that are just sitting on the shelf and get rid of them. You know, I don't need this, I don't need that, I don't need this, and pretty soon we start getting lighter and cleaner and freer. So, more of that attitude. I don't want you to stop drinking, smoking. Just lighten your, clean your house. I don't expect you to get some great, something great result. Just do something simple. You know, this is like returning all things to the One.

[36:02]

This kind of attitude is returning all things to the One. In Sangha Kai, Sekito, it says, the four elements return to the Earth, like a child to its mother. Everything returns. But then everything the one goes back into the many. But it's not that everything goes in and then comes back out again. It's constantly everything is going and returning at the same time. And this is a complete subjective life. Everything is completely subjective. in a dualistic sense.

[37:08]

If you treat everything as yourself, you can see yourself in everything. This is Causan's poem, you know, when Causan was crossing the stream after he left his teacher. He looked down in the stream and saw his reflection. And his realization at that point was, don't see myself as an object. If I see myself as an object, I keep retreating. going out of grasp, the more I see myself as an object, the further away it gets from me, or the further away I get from myself. But when I forget myself, then I see everything as myself.

[38:17]

When I forget myself and just plunge into activity, then there I am. No need to worry about being born or dying. Nothing to worry about. If we're born, okay. If we die, okay. We can just be free to go about our business. There's nothing to be outside of.

[39:29]

So I feel very good already about her. How to make a choice is most difficult. Most difficult. So, that's one of our biggest problems. At one point, in early history, there weren't so many things to take care of. But now we have so many choices that we should know that we can't do everything.

[41:45]

We can't do all those things. We can't take on all the interesting things in the world to do. So this is called being content with what we have and not desiring too much. These are two aspects of enlightened activity. To be satisfied. Knowing how to be satisfied. Working on that. That's your work. How to be satisfied. Knowing how. And not desiring more than we can handle. to keep that in balance. That's a constant work, constant practice.

[42:54]

It doesn't mean that we can't have something, you know, or we can't have things, but whatever we have, we should be able to take care of it. If we can take care of things well, then we deserve to have those things, or we should But if we always feel burdened, confused, can't handle things, there's some problem. We have to know where to make a distinction, or how to discriminate. And it's constant. It's something that's constant. It seems to me, like you're saying, pruning and cutting some things off the shelf and talking in terms of things, but a lot of activities concern people too.

[44:01]

And what is very difficult is to set yourself free from the things on the shelf or to be able to prune the tree. It reminds me of a lecture you gave about, I think there were three men working in one tent, so two clothes together, and then the boss says, hey you guys, there's a problem or something, and then what can be said to free everyone? Yeah. And it seems like this also bears on, how do you free yourself? to get those off the shelf, actually. And it's not easy. No. Maybe in some cases. It's not. That's why I say, little by little, do the easy things first. You know, if you work on the easy things first, well, I can do this, and I can do that.

[45:05]

And then you begin to get some confidence in what you can do. Is that always possible? No, but there's not a formula, you know. A tough one comes along. There's no formula. There's just some encouragement. And you have to do it for yourself. I guess that's maybe what Phil meant when he said you have to keep bending and poking. Yeah. Bending and poking. You know, it's like reaching Frederick Teller in the back. Mike.

[45:52]

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