The Meaning of Study Period

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BZ-00027A

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Lecture, 30 Day Study Period

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Transcription in progress by Joe Buckner

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Before long we'll have a bigger zendo. 

What I want to talk about today is our study period - we call it study period, but Idon't know if there's an appropriate name. Practice period isn't quite right either. For one month. For the month of Novemeber we have a, maybe call mind gathering period. And then we have Rohatsu sesshin, five day sesshin, commenorating Buddha's enlightenment. Sesshin literally means something like embracing mind. A period of embracing mind. And since we don't make distinctions between mind and body, actual meaning is to embrace whole being. This study period or practice period, I like to think of it as mind gathering period. Period of getting everything together before we die [laughs]. Before we die we wnat to set all of our affairs into order. A monk, Zen monk, has just a few possessions. A bowl and some travelling articles and some clothes and enough money to pay for his funeral [laughs]. So everything is well thought out beforehand. He doesn't want to be a burden on people. He wants to have things taken care of himself. So that when he dies, when he passes through, people won't be burdened by that. 

In a sense sesshin is like dying, it's a kind of death. So this month of November leading up to our death. Buddha's enlightenment is Buddha's great death. But also Buddha's great life. We won't talk about death without talking about life. There's an intersting story a monk asked Joshu, Zen master Joshu, "All things return to the one" - eventually everything returns to its origin. "All things return to the one," he says. "Where does the one return to?" Joshu says, "When I was in Ching Chou, or some place, I made a robe out of hemp that weighed seven pounds." [laughs] Very famous story. I'm sure everybody's heard this story. When I was in Ching Chou, I made a robe that weighed seven pounds. Joshu doesn't make some distinction between going and coming or between absolute and relative activity. If when we die we also live or are born, dying and being born. You can two sides of one activity, but we can say we're going towards dying but going towards dying is also, we can say we're going towards living. There's a way to express it as going to the coming from, coming from the going to. 

This month of November we gather everything, all of the loose ends of our life together in preparation for our great death. It's also a good season, fall. Next season will be winter and it's in keeping with the seasons. So this kind of sesshin is like renewal. Spring is when things start to come up again through the snow. Read poems about through the snow, something green is already coming up. 

This particular study period or practice period is a little different than the one that we usually done. Originally we wanted to, I felt that, it would be good to just have a limited kind of activty for whoever could participate. But I can't actually go along with that. I can't divide one kind of practice from another. I can't say, These people are doing this and those people are doing some lesser practice. People who are in engaged in study period as a kind of commitment, sitting three times a day and so forth, provide the energy for our study period. Provide the nucleus of the energy, but everyone is involved, should be involved. Our study period is really for the whole sangha. And the energy should extend in all directions. Without making some disctinions, everyone should just do the best thing they can, the very best. 

This is also, the study period is a time to look at various probelms that we have in our life. Each one of us has some different problem, some different difficulty, some hindrance,  or some block to our development. And this is a time for looking at that. What is it that makes it difficult for me? By simplifying our life, by pruning our tree. When we prune your tree, you know, we start, the way I do it - everybody has a differnt way of pruning trees - I start with the smaller branches all the way around until I see what the real shape of things is. And then I can keep going around and around to keep the whole tree balanced - and cut it, cut it, cut it. And then going deeper in and cutting. If you cut out some of the deep, the main branches right away, the tree will cry to, you might ruin the tree, ruin the shape of the tree. So you have to be careful how you trim, how you prune. Start with something small and look at it and start with something else small. little by little we have to take care of it. If we can do just some small thing, take care of some small loose end, one by one, like that, then our effort would be realistic. And we can feel some actual progress. And we can continue. But if we try to do something too much, some big thing, we just get discouraged and then give up. 

For me, if I can just clean up the dusty corners and start with realistic simple things but really concentrate and not forget then little by little I can prepare my life activity so that when time for sesshin comes I feel prepared. There's nothing holding me back. Nothing left undone. This is a very important, kind of like New Years. When New Years comes we don't have to make some unrealistic resolution - like I'm going to stop drinking or stop smoking or [laughs] something that's very hard. We can resolve to do our life realistically. My New Years resolution is to resolve to do something realistically.

15:04

We always want to make large strides, but if we can do the small steps something easily every step of the way will have some satisfaction in it. And if each one of us make some small progress the influence and encouragement will flow between us. So this is the flavor of this study period. To little by little clean up the loose ends and prune our tree, being very careful to keep it in balance. And to give it some light and air without ruining it. We have to be careful. 

Maybe you have a question or if there's something you'd like to discuss. 

Student A: What do we with mistakes that we're always making. And it seems like just accepting and saying nobody's perfect and then other times I just thinking, I keep remembering the mistakes I've made and don't know what to do with the mistakes.

Sojun: I think the main thing is to know that its a mistake. At some point we just can't stand it anymore and we start to do something about it. [laughs] One of the advantages of practicing with other people is we keep coming up against our difficulty, people show us our mistake and we can't avoid it. If we go away by ourself its easier to avoid, so kind of retreating is a way of avoiding it. And going away is a way of avoiding it. But if we stand our ground, you know stay in our place, then we get a lot of feedback or become made aware of it so we can't hide it, we have to go through it. We have to do something. Little by little we can do that. We can correct ourself. 

Sometimes there's nothing we can do. In some way we have to live with what we are, but when we make an effort. When we see what are shortcomings or difficulties are and we make an effort, that effort itself is very meaningful. Just effort to do something. People will treat us very kindly to our effort and it makes it a lot easier. We're always working on something. If we're not working on something, either we're completely resolved or we're just not aware. But I don't know anyone who is completely resolved. Sometimes we think we are, we think we're completely resolved and anjything I do is OK. But that anything is shortsighted. There's a kind of feeling in Zen, anything I do is OK. For someone who is completely resolved everything that's true, but for us, it's not so. Our task is to work on ourself. We're OK the way we are as long a we're working on ourself. If I know that you're making an effort then there's a real connection, a real bond, but if we don't care then nothings happening. And if I' mmaking an effort then you feel a real bond. This is real subjective life. It's like handing something with two hands. If you hand something with two hands this is no subject, no object, even though objects are there it's total. But if you hand something like this [demonstrates?] with one hand it makes an object out of the thing, it makes an object of the thing that you are handing and it makes an object of the receiver. So when something is done this way [demonstrates handing with two hands?] then this total connection, no subject, no object.

When we have that kind of give and take or that kind of interaction in our life, it shows our effort to... that's our practice effort actually. To close the gap between things and reality. When I say things and reality I mean how we express our aboslute nature is how we take care of things in relation to each other. When our attention is like that then we don't have to worry so much about what's wrong with me. At that point there's nothing wrong. There's no separation and we know what to do. Practice is always based on this attitude. No separation between the giver and the receiver and object. The biggest reason for our difficulty is when we separate ourself, then we start talking too much and we start making mistakes and we start acting [lonely?] or funny.

Soto Zen practice, especially is based on paying attention to details. Hand something with two hands. Pay attention to what is this. Don't treat things as objects. Don't see yourself as an object. If you think that yourself is object, no matter what you try to do it won't come out right. It's just making patches. Just patching on personality. So how we actually work on ourself is to give up, to just put ourself into it. Treating everything with great respect. That's called daily life practice. It's also called genjokoan. How our life precedes from zazen. How our life precedes moment by moment in daily life and zazen. Becoming one with everything, no subject or object difference. Everything is myself. This bowl, handing it to you. Receiving. Giving and receiving. 

27:40

Soto Zen when we come into the zendo everyone bows to their cushions, bows to this and bows to that, always be bowing, bowing, bowing [laughs]. This comes [unclear] that attitude. This kind of intensifying way of doing something, intensifed way of respected comes out of that attitude that everything is myself. Don't treat things as objects. In a lecture, Suzuki Roshi was talking about Dogen, when Dogen took a drink of water out of the river with a scoop, he drank half of the water but put the other half back. Not because he wanted to conserve water or not for some ecological reason, but just out of some deep feeling, of some very deep feeling for things. 

When we forget this kind of attitude, we call that being careless. Don't be careless means don't forget this attitude. 

Do you have something else?

Student B: What is the place in this practice for special time of what you think often as a sterotype, giving up things, changing our diet or that sort of thing?

Sojun: It's not like Lent [laughters]. Not that I think that's wrong, that's very good. But I don't think we have to give up something or do something austere. I think I mentioned when we started we live on the lean side, live [Zen?] on the lean side so rather than take on things we prune and see how nice it feels to feel some breathing space, some lightness in our life. Just lighten ourself. Not take on things. Not burden ourself with something and not to cut down on our stimulous. 

33:17

To kind of cool our mind a bit. We lead very busy lives all of us and we have lots of things and its very hard to control things that come into your life. We have things come into our life from all directions and we have to make choices constantly and ordinarily things come in and say, well I'll try this and I'll do that. After we play with them for a little while we put them on a shelf so we have a great collection of things on our shelves and kind of slow us down and keep us weighed down. And this is the time to look at those things that are just sitting on the shelf and get rid of them. I don't need this and i don't need that. I don't need this and pretty sure we start thinking lighter and cleaner and clearer. So more of that attitude. But I don't want you to stop drinking, smoking [laughs]. Just lighten, clean your house. I don't expect you to be [unclear] some great result. Just do something simple with great result. [laughter] Nice and easy. 

This is like returning all things to the one, this kind of attitude. It's returning all things to the one. In Sandokai, Sekito says the four elements return to [the earth?] like a child to its mother. Everything returns. Back to the [unclear]. the one goes back into the many. But its not that everything goes in and then comes back out again. It's constantly everything is going and returning at the same time. 

And this is our complete subject life. Everything is completely subjective. Not in a dualistic sense. If you treat everything as yourself you can see yourself in everything. This is Tozan's poem. When Tozan was crossing the stream after he left his teacher he looked down in the stream and saw his reflection. And his realization at that point was, don't see myself as an object. If I see myself as an object I keep retreating or going out of going out of [grass?] the more I see myself as an object hte further it gets from me. Or the further away I get from myself. But when I forget myself and see everything as myself. Wehn I forget myself and just plunge into activity then there I am. No need to worry about being born or dying. Nothing to worry about. 

If we're born, OK. If we die, OK. We can just be free to go about our business. There's nothing to be outside of. 

So I feel very good already about our...do you want to a question?

Student C: I wanted to ask you if you thought just the selecting activity, the world is complicated as it is, but so far as the [unclear] that you are speaking of...[unclear words]

Sojun: [Unclear] How to make a choice is most difficult. Most difficult. So that's one of our biggest problems. At one point in early. history there weren't so many things to take care of. But now we have so many choices that we should know that we can't do everything. We can't do all those things. We can't take on all the intresting things in the world to do. This is called being content with what we have and not desiring too much. These are two aspects of enlightenment activity. To be satisfied, knowing how to be satisfied, working on that. That's your work, how to be satisfied, knowing how. And not desiring more than we can handle. To keep that in balance. That's our constant work, constant practice. 

It doesn't mean that we can't have something, or that we can't have things. But whatever we have we should be able to take care of. If we can take care of things wellthen we deserve to have those things, we shoul dhave those things. But if we always feel burdened or confused, can't handle things, and there's some problem and we hvae to know where to make a distinction, or how to discriminate. And its constant, its something that's constant. 

43:51

Question: It seems to me that you're saying pruning and taking some things off the shelf and talking in terms of things, but a lot of activities concern people too and what is very difficult is to set yourself really [unclear] things on the shelf or to be able to prune the tree. It reminds me of a leture you gave about I think there were three men working and one [unclear] and then the boss says, hey you guys, [unclear] or something and then what can be said to free everyone and it seems this also bears on how do you free yourself to get those off the shelf which, you know, its not easy. 

Sojun: No. 

Question: [Maybe in some cases?]

Sojun: No its not. That's why I say little by little. do the easy things first. If you work on the easy things first. I can do this, I can do that. And then you begin to get osme confidence what you can do. And then you go from one thing to the next. Easy stuff.

Question: [laughs] Is that always possible?

Sojun: It's not a formula you know.   

Question: [Unclear]

Sojun: There's no formula. There's just some encouragement. You have to do it for yourself. 

Qestion: I guess that's what the man meant when he said you have to keep bending and poking. 

Sojun: Yea, [laughs], that's good. Bending and poking. You know Dogen says its like reaching for your pillow in the night, like...[ends]