I was visiting a Zen monastery that I had visited before. And the people who lived there asked me to give a talk. And someone came and told me that some of the monks who lived there, one of them asked another one, what are his talks like? And the monk who was questioned said, well, he always says the same thing. It's not bad though. So I was feeling, I've been feeling lately like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm always saying the same thing. One could tell that story, that I'm always saying the same thing.

[01:05]

Of course, it's not true. I never said that true before. I never was here before. But it looks like I'm always saying the same thing and I'm the same person, just sort of older each day. So it seems like I heard before, and maybe I said it, that the point of the Buddha's teaching is the peace and happiness of living beings. And in the early, when the Buddha first taught, or the first recorded teachings of the Buddha, which is called Setting the Wheel of Dharma Rolling, he denounced that he had found a middle way.

[02:23]

He announced that most people, most living beings, are addicted to self-concern, are habitually self-concerned or addicted to self-denial. And being addicted to self-concern is stressful and painful. And being addicted to others and being addicted to self-denial and being addicted to helping others, being addicted to altruism is also stressful. The Buddha said, I found a middle way between these addictions, which is peace and happiness and harmony.

[03:28]

When one is on this middle way, it is peaceful and harmonious. even though on this way we may be surrounded or the way may be surrounded by many beings who are not yet on the way. When one walks this way, this middle way between these addictions, there is peace and happiness and an invitation to all living beings to enter the middle way and find this which comes from giving up addiction to self-interest, robotic self-interest and robotic concern for others. The Buddhas are concerned, are wholeheartedly concerned for the welfare of others, but it's not a robotic concern.

[04:35]

It's a spontaneous, unhabitual love for beings. It's not like yesterday. It's not like me, the same old thing again and again. But it looks like it. The Buddha looks like, oh yeah, there's Buddha, old compassionate guy. Oh, there's that old wise woman again. Yeah, sure, yeah. But really, it's always new. It's a new response to beings that It's a new concern for their welfare, and it's also a new concern for self. So there is, in the middle way, an appropriate self-concern. Self-concern can be appropriate. Appropriate means to the point, apropos, to the point. What's the point? peace and happiness. There can be self-concern which is to the point of peace and happiness. You can brush your teeth in a way that's appropriate to the happiness of all beings.

[05:51]

It's a way of brushing your teeth that's not habitual which benefits the entire universe. And you can be devoted to the welfare of others in a really appropriate way that is very peaceful and happy. It's not oppressive, compulsive, or obsessive. So, real altruism is the middle way. Real altruism includes appropriate self-interest and, of course, appropriate concern for the welfare of others. But arising from the reality of the current relationship, not by addiction to one side or the other. Here's another story.

[06:54]

Once upon a time, there was a man named Albert Camus And he died when I was in high school. But I heard about him while he was still alive. And there was something about him that attracted me. What I heard about him, he sounded really interesting. There's a doggy crying outside. Huh? It's a baby crying. Oh, there's a baby crying outside. Crying babies are the concern of the Buddhas. The Buddhas are concerned for crying babies. They're concerned to help babies be peaceful and happy, just like their mothers and fathers. I heard about him, and the thing that interested me was not just that he wrote a book called Rebel,

[08:00]

which is my nickname because I was born in Mississippi. I was assigned in high school to read the myth of Sisyphus. Is it Sisyphus? I was assigned to read that about this poor person who pushes this rock up the hill, right? Maybe that was kind of a metaphor for self-concern. You know, we really value this human situation, this life, and we want to take really good care of it, but it's really hard to take care of it because it keeps falling apart. So, kind of absurd situation, I guess, one might feel. So, in the middle of the story about my interest in Albert Camus, is a question that he asked or that he talked about.

[09:07]

And the question was in the book about the myth, but it didn't strike me when I read it as a boy. Recently I was reading a book about ants about ants and it looks like ants are robotically altruistic. They robotically are concerned for the welfare of others. But it's not in our nature to be robotically concerned for the welfare of others and also be happy. For us to be happy and at peace we have to serve others creatively and non-habitually. And I looked in the book, which is a very big book on ants, to try to find the quote again to see what the point, why the author was bringing up this quote by Camus, which I'm going to tell you.

[10:11]

But I couldn't find it. And the quote is something like this. And this isn't the quote. Well, I'll tell you the quote. The quote is, The only truly serious philosophical question is suicide. The really fundamental question of philosophy is, is life worth living? That was what he said. And he also proposes, I think, that at least in his heart, and he thinks in the heart of humans, or in the soul of humans, there is a worm that that asked that question, is life worth living? Some of us do not have that question caught up in the surface of our mind. Some of us do. I didn't have it so much in my mind.

[11:12]

But when this person who I respected asked it, I thought, wow. That's interesting that he thinks that's the fundamental question of philosophy. Is life worth living? He also said, I said, only after that question do you go on to the other activities of philosophy. But I don't know if he meant only after answering that question or based on that question. Because as I've been thinking about that question and as some people are coming to talk to me about their question about whether this life with all its frustrations is worth living, I'm trying to find a way to deal with that question that's to the point of peace and happiness. But I kind of feel like

[12:15]

It's not my job and I don't really recommend anybody trying to get the answer to that question. I think answering that question or trying to answer that question I think might not be appropriate apropos to peace. But I think being open to that question and open to those who are asking that question I think that is apropos of peace. I've been struggling with this right up till a few hours ago when I finally felt I found the place to be with that question, which is not to lean into it. We have an expression, which comes from a song, an old Zen song. The name of the song is The Song of the Precious Mirror Concentration or The Song of Concentrating on the Precious Mirror.

[13:27]

And in the song it says, turning away and touching are both wrong for it is like a mass of fire. The question, is life worth living, is a massive fire. And touching it is, I don't think, is a good idea. I don't think it's apropos of peace. But turning away I don't think is appropriate either. So now I offer you my current practice with the question, is life worth living, my question my vow is, I vow to be upright with that question. To be calm and present and relaxed with this dangerous question about whether this dangerous life with all its frustrations is worth living.

[14:36]

And I vow that to stand close to everybody else who has this question. If somebody's wondering if life is not worth living, I welcome them to share the question with me and I vow to sit beside them, to walk around that question with the aid of all the Buddha's teaching. about how to be with something intimately. And the point of these practices are peace and happiness. How can we be close to such awesome questions about life and death in such a way as to promote peace and harmony.

[15:43]

Is life worth living? What is Buddha? What is life? What is death? There's one young person sitting in front of me. I hope this person is old enough that these questions are not shocking you. Some parents would not want, might not want me to ask their children if life is worth living. They just want to get through the next few minutes in peace and harmony. So I looked around the room and it looks like almost everybody is potentially an adult. And maybe this young person here is, even though young, maybe somewhat adult. Can you handle this question? Yes. Great. And I say handle, but I mean, can you be with this question without touching it or turning away?

[17:00]

I want to support you to be that way with this question. You're young to hear this question. Most young people, their parents would protect them from the question. What do you mean is life worth living? Shut up. Don't ask that question. That could be a compassionate response, but Is my self-concern addictive? Is my self-concern habitual? Is this habitual self-concern? Is this habitual tooth-brushing? Is this tooth-brushing potentially for the welfare of others? Am I doing this to encourage my dental hygienist?

[18:06]

Do I have an appointment next week? I have an appointment with the dental hygienist. I like, when I go in, I brush my teeth before the appointment. I don't present dirty teeth to the person who's going to... I bring clean teeth for them to clean. I want to encourage them to help me. And is this addictive? Is this addictive, devotion to the welfare of others? Am I doing it out of habit? Am I clinging to this way of helping? I don't want to answer that question or not answer that question. I want to be with that question. All day long, I wish to be with the question. Is what I do to take care of myself and is what I do to take care of others, is it coming from a balanced place, a presence where I'm not touching others or turning away from them?

[19:18]

Where I'm not touching myself or turning away from myself? I'm intimate with myself, intimate with myself, intimate with others. And then wondering what would be What would be to the point of peace? What service, what would service look like that's to the point of peace and happiness? What would service to others and service to self look like? And while I'm asking that question I'm dealing with not just that question but then how I feel, how I'm thinking, what I think I'm hearing, what I think I'm seeing, everything that's happening.

[20:20]

I'm practicing being present with that even though I don't necessarily see that the color of your eyes is a question. I still... Even if I don't know I'm with this question, I still wish to be present with everything, including these questions. And then here's the part that I repeat over and I'll go over again. How are we present with everything? By practicing generosity in respect to everything. When these questions come, When these profound questions come, when a person comes to us, when a feeling arises, whatever comes, whatever arises, we welcome generously. And then we practice being very careful with it. And again, how are we careful with it?

[21:23]

by looking at what's happening and wondering what would be apropos, what would be to the point of a peaceful life right now? What way of being with looking, what way with being with hearing is apropos to a peaceful life? And then to practice patience, which means to be present with these questions, which are difficult to be present with, and also to be patient and present with our distractions from these questions. And then somehow look inside and see, what is our vow? What is our vow? is our vow to be present with every experience, with every being inwardly and outwardly, is our vow to be present in the way that's appropriate to peace.

[22:35]

Is that our vow? Is that my vow? I said it was. I check it again. It's coming up again that I wish, I vow to live a life in such a way that's appropriate, that's conducive to harmony. And now that I found this vow, now that I found this aspiration, I think about it and I think, it sounds good. That sounds like a good aspiration. I feel kind of good about it, actually. Matter of fact, I think I might do it right now, and for the rest of the day maybe, and maybe tomorrow. But anyway, for now, and I'll try to do it for the next few minutes because that's really important. So actually I'm trying to practice that way right now because it seemed really good to do it when I thought about it.

[23:39]

And I feel some enthusiasm for it. But to tell you the truth, and I'm telling you the truth partly because I think it might be apropos of peace. Yeah, telling the truth seems like it might be apropos of peace. But also there's a, when telling the truth, timing is important. So part of, after being generous towards whatever, next part is to practice checking to see, is this, what's the, now, now that I've welcomed what's happening, now how to, what's appropriate? And telling the truth is appropriate, but there's also another aspect of telling the truth, which is timing. So I didn't bring up, I've been thinking about this issue of the proposal by Albert Camus.

[24:43]

I've been thinking about discussing this in public for weeks and weeks and weeks. But I did not want to do it when the children were here last month. This young man seems to be mature enough for me to bring it up. But I didn't want to bring it up with the little children. I thought their parents would be frightened. The kids might have been okay. But the parents might have been outraged to bring their children into a temple and hear the word suicide. What's suicide, mommy? That crazy man said that. Forget it. Timing is important. Timing is part of being careful. Timing is part of apropos. If we're walking together around these questions, if we're walking together around the question of what is appropriate to happiness, if we're doing that together, then when we take a step, we check with our friends.

[25:51]

When we wish to tell the truth, we also check to see, is it my turn to speak? And someone might say, no, actually, it's not. It's my turn to speak. Wait until I finish what I have to say. And by the way, waiting until I'm finished with what I have to say is apropos of peace. Interrupting me, I'm actually suggesting you don't interrupt me. Okay, I'll wait. Now you can speak. Do you have a truth you want to tell me? Yes, I do. What's the truth? Well, I have a question. How can I be

[26:56]

intimate with you and peaceful with you and happy with you. Is there something I can do to help you? I have something to ask of you. Would you like to hear it? What I'd like to ask of you is that would you be willing to help me live my life, would you give me feedback on the way I am? And so on. That really is what I, that's my question right now. That's my truth right now. And thank you for telling me the right time to say it.

[28:00]

Is there something you'd like to say? I welcome you to say something. I often say to people, is there something you'd like to say? Or do you wish to speak? Or is there something you'd like to express? Is there some expression you care to offer to me? I feel most comfortable about that last one. Is there some expression you care to offer to me? So I don't get into whether you like the expression. Is there some expression you'd like to make? I just set the like aside for the moment and say, is there some expression you have to offer to me? You want to give me an expression? I'm here for you to give me an expression. when is the right time for you or in addition to the expression you've already shown me by being present physically with me do you wish to offer any verbal expression you all support me to ask that question of many of you and right now I'm asking it of all of you

[29:26]

I'm telling you that I welcome you to offer me your expression if you think it would be appropriate to peace and happiness. I'm not prohibiting you from offering expressions which you don't think would be appropriate to peace. I'm not prohibiting it. It's not my job, I don't think. Somebody might like me to, but I haven't accepted that position. I think what I'm being supported to do is to invite people to offer expressions that will promote peace and happiness. So I say, I offer you the chance to offer to me expressions which you think would promote peace in this world. Show me what you think would be promoting peace. Show me what you think would promote happiness. I invite you to show me. And even if you don't know what would promote, or even if you don't know what would be appropriate to peace, I suggest to you that it might be good to say that.

[30:41]

Admitting, confessing that you're not sure, that you can't see anything right now to express that would promote peace, to tell me or someone else who welcomes that kind of expression, to tell them you're not sure, I think that promotes peace. That's what I think. Then I might say, do you want your expression? Do you want your activity to promote peace? You might be able to say, yes, or I think so. And then if you don't know how, saying that you don't know how, I think that is in accord with the wish. Because we can learn a way of saying, I don't know how to do what is promoting peace. We can learn a way of saying that, that promotes peace. We can be generous when we say, I don't know if what I'm doing is promoting peace. We can be careful when we say, we can wait for our turn to say.

[31:46]

for the right time to say, I don't know. The truth is, I don't know if this is to the point of peace. But I want it to be. I don't know if being patient with my not knowing is apropos, but I think it is. I've heard it is. And I've heard that some people feel really confident that it is. That patience with our uncertainty about what actually brings happiness and expressing that is part of the process of the peacemakers. I've heard from people who I think are wise, and it seems to make sense to me, that not being self-righteous about what brings peace brings peace.

[32:50]

Or put it the other way, being self-righteous about what makes peace creates disturbance. So again, it's not to answer the question, what is peaceful? It's being intimate with that question. It's being upright and present. Walking around that very important question, what is to the point? What is apropos of peace? Walk around the question all day long. And even at night, if possible, in your dreams. Walk around the question, what is appropriate to peace and harmony? Don't touch it. don't turn away don't turn your back on it don't try to get a hold of it take care of it I hope this talk has not been too short

[33:57]

or too long. And once more I publicly offer to be available to you to offer to me expressions which you feel are in accord and appropriate to peace, including your questions about what is appropriate to peace. I welcome it and I vow to listen and wait for my turn to speak. Thank you very much for being open to this really awesome question which I have been wanting to bring up and I hope today was a good day.

[35:00]

Is life worth living? What is Buddha? What is peace? And what is the way of life that is peaceful? Thank you for listening.

[35:21]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_92.87