It's true that I have been supporting this community. And what we've been discussing this weekend is that the community's been supporting me. That we're in a situation of mutual support. Today I thought I would tell some stories. And the first story is the story of the wondrous practice of all Buddhas, which again is the headline of the weekend's study, the wondrous practice of all enlightened beings. The story goes like this. Now all ancestors and all Buddhas who uphold and made it the true path of enlightenment to sit upright or be upright in the midst of the self-fulfilling samadhi, the self-fulfilling concentration.

[01:19]

Those who attained enlightenment in India and China and Japan and Korea and Southeast Asia and Minnesota have followed this way. And so because teachers and disciples personally transmitted this excellent method as the essence of the teaching. And so what is the self-fulfilling awareness? And what is sitting upright? It means you sit upright, you be upright. In other words, you don't lean in any direction. You're sort of in tune with all directions. You don't lean into the past or the future, and you don't even lean into the present. You don't lean to the right. to the red or the blue.

[02:24]

You may like the red, but you don't lean towards your affections. You're upright. In that uprightness, you open to this awareness. And what is the awareness? It's the awareness that fulfills the self. And what is the awareness that fills the self? It's the awareness of how all beings and all Buddhas are practicing with you, supporting you and embracing you and sustaining you. That's the awareness. And how you are the basis of the entire universe. The whole universe is established based on you. You support all beings. The awareness That and how you support all beings and how all beings support you is the awareness in which we find the way to supreme perfect awakening.

[03:39]

It is said that even When for a moment you express the Buddha's feel, the Buddha's feel, that means like not the mammal, but the feel, the standard, or the mood, feel also means mudra, the Buddha mudra. When you express the Buddha mudra in your body, speech, and mind, It means when you're sitting, in the sitting posture or walking, when you're speaking and when you're thinking, whatever kind of activity you're involved in, in those activities, you're aware. You express the Buddha's seal. You're aware of the Buddha's seal. And what is the Buddha's seal? The Buddha's seal, the spirit of the Buddha is that everybody supports your speaking. Everybody supports your posture.

[04:48]

Everybody supports your thinking. And your speaking supports all beings. Be aware of that as you express yourself, as you act, that you're expressing the Buddha's seal in your actions. Whoever you're with, when even for a moment you express this understanding and who you're with, which is everybody, are in this mutual, mutually assisting mode, when you express that, the entire sky turns into enlightenment. world becomes the Buddhist seal. It already is the Buddhist seal, but the whole phenomenal world realizes the Buddhist seal with you. That's the basic story of the weekend here.

[05:53]

And I also mentioned last night that to me that this is an enlightened or an enlightening ecological viewpoint. If we wish for peace and harmony, it seems that this awareness is very helpful. It allows for us to be in conflict and realize how, even when we're in conflict, even when we have a difference of opinion of how to take care of this world and each other in this world, that there is a way, there is a way that we are working together already. And the full extent of the way that we're working together, the awareness of that is enlightenment.

[07:01]

And actually, the way we're working together is enlightenment. However, our dualistic consciousness cannot reach this realm. But this realm, we are working together in perfect harmony, can illuminate our consciousness. By repeatedly and consistently opening ourself to this realm which is beyond the reach of our dualistic consciousness, we more and more allow this realm beyond our consciousness to illuminate our consciousness then the rapport between Supreme Enlightenment and our dualistic consciousness becomes more and more intimate, until our dualistic consciousness can demonstrate what is beyond it. Our dualistic consciousness can demonstrate a harmony dualistic consciousness cannot see. Even though dualistic consciousness can't see it,

[08:05]

it's not separate from it. And dualistic consciousness can demonstrate non-dual consciousness. And in fact it does, but we can't see it. We are actually demonstrating, each of us is demonstrating how we're all working together, but dualistic consciousness can't see that. Our dualistic consciousness is demonstrating non-dual consciousness but dualistic consciousness can't see it. But dualistic consciousness can express it if dualistic consciousness is educated about its limits. Dualistic consciousness can stop taking itself seriously as the true story. If we look at this world with all these clashing isms, all these different views of what's ecological, all these different views of how to take care of our household.

[09:11]

We can see the clash. We can see the wars, I hope. But beneath it or above it, and see at a certain distance, you can see that actually there's a perfect harmony in the struggle. Once you've seen it, then as this teaching would invite you, come back into the struggle and bring with you the experience of the harmony and show people what it's like to have confidence in our harmony even while we're clashing. And I think you sometimes can feel that. when, for example, it's, again, one parent, or even a parent, is that you have this person who is a grandchild or a child who sometimes is like, of course they love you, and they kind of sense that their life depends on you, but sometimes they say they swing at you and try to knock your head off.

[10:24]

because you won't do what they want you to do, or whatever. They seem to be in extreme conflict with you, and yet at the same time you feel, this is me, this person is not in conflict with me. At the same time you can see that, that this is actually our love in this very violent form. And then if you keep in touch with that love through the violence, they can have a chance to calm down without being beaten up or without them getting violence back at them. They get to see a loving, appreciative response to their horrible behavior. I don't want you to do this. I don't like this. I just want you to know.

[11:27]

That hurts me when you hit me. I want you to stop. That hurt too. I'd like you to stop. That hurt and I don't mind, but I'd like you to stop anyway because I don't want you to do it to other people. And so on. And then as an extension of this teaching of Acceptable mutual assistance. We have another expression which I brought up last night, which is, the expression is, what is it, it's sympathetic resonance is one way to say it. So we are in, and we are sympathetic resonance in various levels of conscious awareness. the most fundamental sympathetic resonance between all beings is so complex and so unlimited and so thorough that no dualistic consciousness can... But there's other ways that it manifests that we can get little glimpses of it.

[12:46]

I'd like to talk to you about that in detail today, or some detail. The full expression that we use is sympathetic resonance or sometimes spiritual communion or what else is it called? It's called, translated as responsive communion. Literally it means in response. or offering and response, or invocation and response, or stimulus and response. We are all a stimulus to other beings, and they respond to us. That was a stimulus to all of you, and you all responded. in different ways, but no one didn't respond to that.

[13:50]

Even if you didn't hear it, you responded to not hearing it. You responded. And also, is a response to you. I'm responding to you, you're responding to me. I'm making offerings to you, you're making offerings to me. When you make an offering to me, I respond. When I make an offering to you, you respond. the most thorough way that that's happening right now is not reached by our ordinary consciousness, but it's happening anyway. And not only are we doing it, but we're also, each of us as individual person is also and offering to the actual enlightenment in the situation. So there's our state of not understanding this that's actually a phenomena, is that we don't understand this, and that can be expressed as, I don't understand it, and that can be offering a request to the understanding of this.

[15:05]

So, in a sense, the parts of us that don't get this, the parts of us that think we're not being supported by all beings, or the aspect of our consciousness which thinks, I don't support some people and some people support me. That kind of thought, that part of our life that manifests, also can be a, it's actually a call. And that part of our being is a call, it's an expression, it's a cry. It's because it's, the part of our being that feels that we're not being supported by everybody, and some people, as you know, think they're not supported by anybody, and some people not only think they're not supported by anybody, but they think they don't want to support anybody either, since nobody supports them. Of course, this is the extreme, and that state is calling for help all the time. And that which understands that that person is calling, and that which understands that that's calling to the person, and everybody's calling to each other and responding, that person responds to that call, responds to the call of the person who feels like no one is calling.

[16:23]

But how this is working, again, in its fullest, most basic and profound way, is not mixed with perception or dualistic consciousness. But it is going on. I propose to you. And the Buddhist, the traditions, the scriptures of the tradition of the Buddhadharma have lots of expressions from this place. Those who have kind of this place beyond their knowledge, beyond their dualistic consciousness, have opened to it and somehow become intimate with it, have spoken from this place and told us what it's like there. In words, and the words that they use, so we get a feeling for what it's like, And yet they encourage us to realize it, to study it and enter it.

[17:27]

We are encouraged by hearing how things are beyond our consciousness to enter the realm beyond our consciousness, which is also called a mind. But it's not a dualistic mind. So this call and response is another way to speak of this realm within our conscious range or our dualistic conscious range and beyond it. Again, I feel that, as I said, this is the enlightened view of ecology. I don't want to say it's the Buddhist view because Buddhist sounds like Buddhism. I feel this is a way not for Buddhism to be the best religion to teach all the other things that are happening, but it's an opportunity for this understanding to be put in the world without the Buddhists getting credit for it, or without the disciples of Buddha getting credit for it, and let it be a way that warring religions can come to a

[18:39]

let it be a way that all religions can stop taking themselves too seriously. Not all religions... I should put it the other way. Many religious practitioners in many religions have been able to realize the joke of their religion. The great teachers of all traditions are light-hearted about their wonderful tradition. There's examples from Judaism, from Buddhism, and from Christianity of practitioners who practiced intensely and were kind of light-hearted about the tradition that they practiced. Like Suzuki Rishi said, what we're doing is part of taking seriously. This work of bringing peace to the different religions is very important.

[19:51]

But if you take it seriously, you may be sidelined from the main action. One time we had this fire surrounding our monastery in the mountains of California, Tassajara. And so we had these fire crews, and we had this area which was taped off. It was taped off with yellow tape or red tape. I think it was yellow tape. I'm not sure. Like hazard tape. And if you're on a crew, and even if you're a supervisor or the head of the crew started to take the fire too seriously, kind of, fire, you know, put it out. You know, even if the leader of the crew freaked out in the face of the fire, anybody in the crew could say, yellow line, and the person had to go, what do you have?

[20:56]

It's basically a timeout. But it's basically, go down into the valley and sit behind the yellow line and calm down. And after you calm down, you can come back and behead the crew again. And some people did get yellow-lined because they got hysterical and they weren't leading well anymore in the face of the fire. So we need some people who are like, you know, we have a really dangerous situation here and be relaxed with it. So we can show people how to get out of the way of, you know, Over this way, come on. Come on, kid, let's go." I had a big dog one time. He was a big dog, and he wasn't very well disciplined, so he sometimes would run into the street.

[21:57]

And if you yelled at him, he would run into the street faster because he'd get scared. He had to intone this very sweet tone. Darling! Sweetheart! And go. Something very sweet. And he'd turn around and come back from the street to this nice... Of course, you don't feel like saying, Sweetheart, when they're about to be hit by a truck. But in fact, if you scare him, he just runs faster into the street. Or whatever. And you'd prefer just to scream, Stop! But you've got to be flexible about what works, right? And you can be flexible when you tune into this harmony and people will support you to do the right thing. And if you see how they're supporting you, the right thing can come. I have some stories which show this

[23:05]

the different levels of this thing. One story that I heard was about this man who, I think he had two kids. He lived in Japan, not too far from the East Coast, the Pacific Coast. And I think his son was not feeling well, and he took his son and daughter one day to visit a Zen temple. in Kamakura. Kamakura is not too far from Tokyo, has lots of beautiful Zen temples. So he took his son and daughter to visit a Zen temple. But the reason why they were doing it, and I think it was like a day like this, nice sunny day, Sunday maybe, and temple grounds, as you may know, have a lot of Zen temples, are really like beautifully cared for parks. the monks, Zen monks, do a lot of sweeping and weeding. And so he brought his son and daughter there, and the abbot of the monastery invited them for tea.

[24:14]

And they had tea and nice conversation. And as they were leaving, the abbot gave the man a present. And It is typical when you visit somebody, both to give them a present, which they probably did, and to receive a present in return. And he thought the man was just doing that as a matter of custom, which he was. But anyway, he did give him a sutra, a scripture. And by the way, the word sutra The etymology of the words, the Sanskrit word sutra, it has the same shares with sutra, which means thread. And the Chinese word for scripture, jing, like dao de jing or yi jing, that word jing means, also has the radical for the thread. So in Sanskrit, the

[25:19]

The scriptures, when they poke holes through the pages of the scripture, the thread that they put through the holes to pull the scripture together is actually the sutra. It's the thread that holds the teaching together. Or the thread that runs through holds the teaching together. Same in Chinese, the thread that runs through the teaching is part of the point I would say he gave him a scripture, but he also gave him... Scripture doesn't have the same root. Scripture has a writing. But the Indian and Chinese word for scripture is thread. So he gave him the scripture, he gave him a thread. Thread of the teaching. And then the man received it, but again, he thought it was just a token of friendship. Take it as a teaching.

[26:21]

And he went home and, you know, he didn't throw it in the garbage. He just put it on his family altar. He didn't know where else to put it. He put it on the altar. Didn't realize what he was doing, but he did put it on the altar. And then a couple of years later, I don't know, he was in the room where the altar was or the shrine was, and he looked at the scripture and he said, thought, hmm, wonder what's in it. I mean, it was just a token, but maybe there's something in it. So he pulled it off and opened it up, and it was the scripture of Buddhist teachings about how to take care of children. You know, there's instructions, the Buddha's instruction on being a parent. or caregiver of young people. So he read it, and he was deeply impressed by what good instruction it was for the parents.

[27:25]

And he started to practice the instruction with his children. And he also got commentaries on the scripture and studied them. And after a while, he thought, practicing meditation. and study other scriptures. So he actually started practicing Zen meditation and studying other scriptures. And then he thought maybe he should get some instruction from a teacher. So he went to visit a teacher and got further instruction from a teacher. And then finally he went into intensive study with the original abbot that he met who gave him the scripture. And so if I go back through this story, I think it's kind of fun to go back through it and look at the story. He was not aware that he was going to the temple to ask, to request the Buddhist teaching.

[28:30]

He didn't think he was doing that. And he also didn't realize that when he went to the temple and asked for the teaching, Teaching was given to him. So he didn't realize that he was requesting or stimulating the tradition to give him the teaching, and he didn't see that this tradition gave him the teaching. This is the most fundamental level. In other words, we're always saying, saying, Buddha, please teach me the way to be happy. And Buddha says, okay, and that's the answer. Just fine. Buddha's always responding to our requests. We're always working with Buddha all day long, but we don't get it necessarily. We think we're just walking in a park. on a nice day, or we think we're not, we're walking in a slum on a bad day. But wherever we are, walking in a strife-ridden situation, we're still saying, actually, everything we do is saying, is supporting the Buddha to help us, but we don't get it.

[29:39]

It's going on all the time. Just like it was going on when he went to the temple. He went to the temple and asked for the teaching, and the teacher gave it to him. He didn't get it. Then he went home and there was a response. He got it and he responded. How did he respond? He did the practice. He put the sutra on the altar. There was a response. But he didn't realize that what he just did was because he wanted to practice. I want to practice now and I'm going to do this I'm going to do this practice of offering this scripture to the altar, to the Buddha. I got the thing from the Buddha, now I'll put it back on the altar. He actually did the response and he didn't notice it, but he kind of noticed it. Because he put it on the altar, he didn't throw it in the garbage.

[30:39]

He kind of was aware of it, but he wasn't aware that he was interested in the Dharma of the Buddha. But he was. That's why he went on the altar. Then later, he became aware that he was interested in what was... He became aware he was somewhat interested in what it was. Then he read it, and he became more and more aware that he was really interested in what it was. And he became more and more aware that he was asking for and interested in the teaching. But he didn't see, still didn't see, he still didn't see that there was a response. He thought he was by himself. So then he thought, well, this is good, but I need a teacher. So then he went and got a teacher. So then he thought, I'm interested in practice, and I've got the teacher. So here you've come, you knew you were interested, so you came, and you knew if you came there would be a response.

[31:42]

And sure enough, it looks like you're interested in Dharma, and Dharma is being given to you. So this is the fully conscious level. But before you left your house this morning, you were already asking Buddha, asking enlightenment of all beings to come and join you. And you were also contributing to the enlightenment of all beings. It was responding to you. You were offering to it, and your offering to it gets responded to, but your offering to it supports the response. You're already here. It doesn't mean you shouldn't come here, but It isn't just when you're at the Zen center that this is happening. The fourth level, so the three levels are, one level is the most profound, and that's the level where you do not realize that you're requesting the teaching and it's being given to you.

[32:48]

You do not realize that you're supporting the enlightenment tradition and the enlightenment tradition supporting you. You do not realize that all day long you're embracing enlightenment and enlightenment is embracing you at the deepest level and the most unlimited level. The second level is that you're aware of one side or the other. In this case, the second level was there was a response which you could see putting the thing on the altar, but he was unconscious that he was interested in the teaching. The next level, he was aware that he was interested in the teaching, but he didn't realize there was a response. The third level, he realized he was interested and wanted to practice and that there was a response. and that the response was also interested in the practice, and he was the response. In the practice, you gradually, at a conscious level, you start to realize this.

[33:52]

And that's when what is beyond dualistic consciousness illuminates your dualistic consciousness. So you feel in your dualistic consciousness, my God, this is heaven, this is perfect, this is harmony. And then those forms of practice then are kind of like a bridge back to a way to connect the most profound beyond-perception level with the level beyond. Why, in some sense, we need to enact this vision, which is beyond our vision, we need to enact it in the world of vision. so that people can have a vision that they can see about what they can do. I remember when I was, before I started practicing Zen, I read this book called Black Elk Speaks about the, is he a Lakota Sioux?

[34:53]

And so he had this vision. And he told his teacher, and his teacher said, That's right. And you should enact that vision. You should get the people of our nation, of our tribe, together to enact that, to dramatize this vision. And he didn't do it until after, I think, maybe after, I don't think it was Wounded Knee, but after some big tragedy to his people, he got the people together to enact a vision because they had been crushed by some kind of US government-sue conflict, which left the government a mess and the nation a mess.

[35:56]

Most would say, think that the Native Americans the deal. But anyway, they had a vision, and they enacted it. And this was their... their resource to live with the consequences of this tragedy. So we have tragedies left and right now and we need to enact a vision of peace and harmony in the world where there's lots of war and disharmony. And coming together and sitting in meditation and studying teachings which not only talk about peace and harmony but That it's really so. It's available. It isn't just that we want it. It isn't that we want something that isn't there. We want something that is there to become realized. We are intimate. It's not that we are going to make ourselves intimate.

[36:57]

We are intimate already, according to the Buddha. Buddha already sees us as intimate, but Buddha also sees we don't understand that. We need to understand it. then if we understand it, we can articulate. If we understand it means if it illuminates our consciousness, then we can help each other enact it. So, a Baptist church, a Sunni or Shiite mosque, a Sufi mosque, a Hindu temple, these are all situations which are saying, please enact peace and harmony here. Please enact freedom from self-righteousness here. Please enact our religion is not better than other religions.

[38:00]

We have a religion. It's a wonderful religion. And it's not better than the other ones or worse. It is embraced and sustained by the other religions. We are grateful to all other religions for our religion. We want our religion to support all religions and help all religious people and non-religious people be happy. This is the... sympathetic resonance. There's one path. According to this tradition, there's one path. There's not two or seven. There's one path. And on that one path, a lot of different people are walking. The Buddhists, the Islamic, the non-Islamic,

[39:05]

the liberals, the conservative, they're walking together on the same path in spiritual resonance. Bye-bye. I say, so it's a matter of realizing it. And again, there's of realization that's beyond our dualistic consciousness, but it can also be registered at various other levels of consciousness. Here's some other stories about this. And let's see, it's 10 o'clock, so I don't have time to do all the stories I have.

[40:17]

So I have a Zen story, an Indian Buddhist story, and a Jewish story, which do you want to hear first? It's here! Okay, I'll add that to the list. I read a book recently, Catholic. And I was surprised to find out, pretty much at the beginning of the book, it says, the story of American Catholicism is not the story about how Rome brought Catholicism to America. It's the story about how Ireland brought Catholicism to America.

[41:19]

And in St. Paul, you have this great cathedral. And there's one over in Minneapolis built by a guy named John Ireland. an Irish guy who came here. I don't know if he came here from Ireland or if he was born shortly after his parents arrived. But he was born, I think, in St. Paul, and he went to church, and I think the bishop of St. Paul spotted him and some other boys, gave a class for him and some of the other boys, and probably all Irish boys, and the bishop was Irish. John Ireland was very good student and he became this amazing leader of the whole state, you know, and I think he founded forty towns in Minnesota. Anyway, that's the Irish story. I could go on about him.

[42:25]

He's really an interesting guy. But the Jewish story is about this man. His name was Baal Shem Tov, which means something like good word or something like that, or good news. Shem Tov means. Anyway, good name. Yeah, right. Shem Tov. What does Baal mean? Do you know? No. So Baal, good name. Is he the founder of Hasidism? Yeah. So he's a great master of the Hebrew tradition. And when he was about to die, he gathered together all of the disciples and gave each disciple an assignment. And then the way I heard the story was, and there was one assignment left and one disciple left. So that's the disciple, the star of the story. So he says to this disciple, I want you to go all over Europe and tell stories about your teacher, me.

[43:33]

And I thought at first, when I first heard that, it sounds kind of, kind of make yourself famous throughout Europe. But you'll see at the end that it wasn't selfish. And the disciple thought, that it wasn't a very good assignment compared to the other ones. But anyway, he was an obedient disciple and he followed in this occasion and others. So he traveled all over Europe telling stories of his teacher. Oh, and he also asked his teacher, well, how long do I have to do this? And his teacher said, there will be a sign, you'll know when to stop. Does anybody know this story? One of these stories they haven't told a lot of times. So he does that, and he travels and travels and talks and talks. And just about when he feels like he's gone everywhere and told all this, and he's getting kind of like, where's the sign?

[44:43]

He heard about this wealthy Italian nobleman who would pay gold for stories that he hadn't heard before, new stories to him. It was even like, necessarily stories of Baal Shem Tov, but just, he was asking storytellers from all over Europe and whatever tradition to come and tell him stories. So the young, I know he's young, anyway, the disciple who has all these stories to tell goes to Italian nobleman's castle. And the man's very happy that he's there. And he finds out that he has all kinds of stories about Baal Shin Tov. And so he says, well, whenever you're ready. And the disciple realized that he had forgotten all the stories. He couldn't remember any. He couldn't, somehow his mind had been changed at that very point.

[45:57]

And he honestly said to the nobleman, you know, this amazing thing's happened, I can't remember any stories of my teacher. And the guy says, well, it's okay, maybe just stay a few days, maybe they'll come back to you. And the guy stayed. And after about three days, he just couldn't stand to stay in Paris. So he left. And pretty much as soon as he stepped out of the castle and was walking down the approach, that's an Indian joke, he remembered a story. Once. And he thought, well, it's not the best story, but one thing good about it is I was actually there. It's a story about me and my teacher when we were together, so at least that's good. It's not hearsay. So he went back and told the nobleman the story, and the nobleman was very happy to hear the story. He said, one time my teacher said that he wanted to go to Turkey and he wanted me to be his attendant.

[47:06]

And then he said he wanted to go around Easter time. In Turkey, that was predominantly a Christian city. He wanted to go at the time that the city would be decorating the whole city with Easter. Did I say Christmas? I said Easter. So the town has a reputation for really having a huge Easter pageant with huge various enactments. And one of the things they often would do during the Easter celebration was they would kill a Jew for being Christ killers. And there were Jews living in the town, and during that time, most of the Jews would just stay in terrified areas in armed groups. And the disciples said, Master, we shouldn't go because it's dangerous. You might get killed, not to mention me. The teacher said, I don't know what the teacher said anyway.

[48:16]

Maybe so. Let's go. But let's go. And he went with his teacher, and they went to Turkey. I don't know where they lived, if they lived in Russia or where, but anyway, they went to Turkey. They went into the town, and they went to the sort of where most of the Jews went in among them. and behind closed doors. And then shortly after that, near where they were staying, they heard the procession coming. And I guess, yeah, they heard the procession coming, and the rabbi... opens the windows of the house, looks out the window, sees the procession coming, sees the bishop at the head of the procession with the silver mitre and the jewel-encrusted staff and gold brocade robes and, you know, and, you know, a big, big, rich bishop.

[49:26]

And he calls his disciple to the window. The disciple doesn't want to get near the window. Anyway, he calls the disciple and says, See the bishop? Go down and come and see me. So you can imagine what the disciple goes through with that assignment. but he does go. He's a good disciple. He goes, and he goes up to the bishop just as he's mounting the pedestal before this mass of Easter people. And he says, kind of harshly, tells him that Baal Shem Tov is over there and wants him to come to see him. And the bishop kind of looks a little nonplussed. and says, later, and gives his sermon. And then later he says, okay, where is he? Show me the way. And the bishop goes with the disciple to see Baal Shem Tov.

[50:29]

He comes into the house, and Baal Shem Tov takes him back into a back room, and they stay there for three hours. And then the bishop comes out, and Baal Shem Tov says to the disciple, okay, let's go home. And that's the story. And the disciple kind of felt embarrassed because it's kind of like a story without a point, right? But he said, that's the story. But anyway, he said, that's the story. And he looked over at the nobleman, and the nobleman was drenched in tears. The nobleman says, you have saved my soul today. by that story. The disciple said, yeah, how? He said, I'm a Jew, and I lived in Turkey, and I was wealthy, and I was scared that the Christians would kill me.

[51:46]

So I converted out of fear to Christianity. And since I was a very powerful leading Jew, and the Christian community wanted to see one of the most influential Jewish people convert, they gradually made me into a bishop. And while I was bishop, I allowed Christians to kill Jews. Baal Shem Tov heard about this and came to see me and told me that I was in a little bit of trouble. My soul, my spiritual life was almost certain to be destroyed. He said, but there's a slight chance still for you. There's a slight opening for you. The conditions are not completely set. If you abdicate your bishopship and give back all that you've gotten as a bishop and just take what you had before, and then you take those resources and spend the rest of your life doing good works for the welfare of being, there's a possibility that you will be liberated from the consequences of your unspeakably bad conduct.

[53:11]

And the bishop followed the instructions. And also, Baal Shem Tov said, and there will be a sign. You will receive a sign when you've completed your work and are saved. And the sign will be that someone will come to you and tell you your story. How things work sometimes. at a level you can see. For a long time, you can't see. You don't know what's going on. Why is he sending me all over Europe? When will the sign come? Also, that was also a sign for the disciple, right? He could stop until at 30. They both got signs. And you see, Balch and Tov wasn't trying to be famous. He was trying to help this bishop. He was trying to help this disciple. realize that he was enlightened.

[54:16]

So we don't understand, we don't understand, but all the time this process is going on, trying to wake us up. It's always going on. We don't get it some of the time. Most of the time we don't get it. Most of the time we don't get it. But eventually it illuminates our consciousness. But still, when our consciousness is illuminated, we still can't see. It's still much more wonderful than anybody can see. But we can realize it. We can join it. And when we join it, we can give our friends assignments in the realm where people can see things. Coming from that source of where we're working together, we can bring our visions to the world where we seem to be at odds. So I thought there was a good story to that effect. So the Indian Buddhist stories are still waiting.

[55:21]

By the way, The word story comes from, I think it's from, the word astoria, from Greek, listor, histor, histor. So stories are access, are one of our accesses to wisdom. Um, um, [...] um.

[56:24]

OK. Any questions? Yes. The universe is supporting us to wake up. That being, while we're waiting to develop insight, or wait for our insight to pour abroad, Have you any suggestions or other, what sort of hints are there along the way about how we want to be and behave while we're still sort of stumbling around in the dark? Well, are you in the retreat? Are you in this weekend retreat? Yes. Yeah. So I'll say again, if you feel like you're then be mindful of the teaching that everybody helped you stumble.

[57:26]

They don't just help you when you're not stumbling. They help you all the time. So you don't stumble all by yourself. You get assistance and support, which you may not like to hear, but that's an important time to remember it. But also, when you stumble, you support us. Your stumbling supports all beings. So you can ask yourself the question, not stumbling, which is pretty nice, not stumbling in such a way that it doesn't support all beings, and all beings don't support me. Or would I support stumbling with all beings helping me, helping all beings. If my stumbling would help all beings, would I be happy to stumble? What if you're really confused?

[58:33]

And you're not sure when you're stumbling or not? Okay, what if I'm not sure if I'm stumbling? What if I'm... I could be... Go for it. Go for it? Stumble intensely. I disagree with what you said. What you're saying jumped from being supported like he's supposed to do something. So if you're in a state of feeling confused, and you're not even sure if you're confused, you're so confused, And you even think, I'm not confused, I'm perfectly... You're so confused. Like in Spanish they say, tengo razón. I have reason, I'm right.

[59:34]

When you think you're right, remember that everybody helps you think you're right. when you think right. Remember that. Even if you're confused, you might be able to remember. That's one of the reasons why it's good to do certain forms over and over. Like, I remember one time I was really confused, really confused, and I noticed I could still put my robe on. It was complicated. This top robe, how to tie it is a little complicated, but because I had done it thousands of times, I could do it when I was in a state where I was really confused. I didn't even know what my hands were anymore. But I noticed that they were doing this thing, and it's kind of complicated. So if you do this meditation of meditating on, as best you can, at whatever level your mind's operating, on the Buddhist seal, you press the Buddhist seal on your states of confusion, on your states of clarity, so that when you do go into state

[60:50]

of extreme confusion, like the state of extreme confusion is tengo razón. I'm right. That's the most extreme confusion. I'm right. Not we're right. Not you help me be right. You can be right. It's true. But this I'm right sounds like I'm right by my own power. I establish my rightness by myself. Or we're right. This group's right. It's the right. This is extreme confusion. So if you practice realizing, moment by moment, that whatever state you're in, no matter how bad, it is supported. There's conditions for it that are supporting it, and it supports all the confused people support ways.

[61:52]

This teaching can work for you no matter what your state is. Because no matter what your state is, Buddha sees you are in perfect harmony, you fully possess the wisdom and virtues of the Buddha, but you don't get it. So I'm suggesting not that you go ahead and go for being confused, but if you are confused, whatever state you're in, basically. It doesn't matter how you judge it. That's why I'm just saying whatever. If you think it's confused, okay. If you think it's not confused, but whatever your state, meditate on how you are intimate with all beings and all beings are supporting you. then some actions may arise. Like you may say, I think I'll just work on being confused now, or whatever. Actions may arise, but they arise from the source of your spiritual life.

[62:54]

They arise from the oneness of you and Buddha. And if you can't remember the practice, then can you remember to confess that you can't remember the practice when you remember it? And the more you confess that you forget the practice, the more you will melt away the root of forgetting the practice. And then when you actually do the practice, it just goes deeper and deeper. The more you think of, all these people are my life. This person's my life, this [...] person's my life. All these people are my life. All these people are supporting me. And I support all these people. The more I meditate on that, I feel good, and the more I want to do that, and the more I want to be able to give myself to each person, and the more I realize each person is giving to me, the more I feel willing to give myself to them. Of course, sometimes people are very generous with you, and you say, geez, I'm not giving them back as much as

[63:59]

feel uncomfortable about that. Because that's not the example of where you can confess, I'm not giving back as much as given to me, and I don't feel good about that. And there's a way of not feeling good about it that transforms you. That's called repentance. Repentance is not to bang yourself in the head necessarily, but it's to feel bad about what you really want to do in such a way that you start doing it. If you confess your shortcomings over and over, you melt away the root of the shortcomings. So most of us have quite a few opportunities to admit, I'm receiving from that person but not giving back, or I'm giving a lot to that person and not receiving back. Most of us sense some imbalance, except in the cases, yeah, most of us see an imbalance. When you see an imbalance, you have an opportunity to confess. Except there's one imbalance where you also have to confess.

[65:01]

And that's the... Excuse me, there's one balance that you can confess. And that's the balance between they don't give me anything and I don't want to give them anything. That balance is confessed. But you don't really confess the balance of I give myself totally to them and they give themselves totally to me. That you don't confess. That's the meditation. And that's my faith. That's my faith. My faith means that's the way I want to live. And I think that's the faith of the tradition of Soto Zen. I think that's Dogen's faith. I want to and I am giving myself to all beings. All beings want to and are giving themselves to me. But of course on some other level there's some resistance to that process. I understand and that is to be confessed. So practice. Do that practice no matter what state you're in, no matter how confused you are. And if you can't do it, do it when you notice that you're not doing it.

[66:02]

And make that a samadhi. Concentrate on that. Try to be steady on that. And again, you notice you're not steady, so confess, you know, it's unsteady. I did it a little bit today. and I forgot quite a bit and I started like badmouthing some of those people who disagree with me or I didn't badmouthing but my wife did and I kind of enjoyed it. Any other? Yes? What you're saying reminds me a little bit of a practice called Magnon.

[67:07]

Have you heard of it? Yeah, I have heard of it. The practice I'm familiar with is where you lift each day or however often. You actually write out, you know, things that I've given to so-and-so, so-and-so has given to me and troubles I've caused to so-and-so. And I'm just kind of wondering, you know, that practice leads to how troubles to so-and-so cause me. I can certainly be a point, don't list troubles, but another. As I understand it. But I'm wondering, with this practice given by the awareness of Well, the way I would put it would be cases where I didn't feel people were supporting me. You know, like, you're insulting me, you're telling me I'm a jerk, and then I say, I think you're being mean to me, and you say, that's right, I want to be mean to you, so there's no question about it.

[68:09]

You really do want to be mean to me, and you're successful. But then I say to you, you're being mean to me, and then you say, that's right, and then you say to me, and you're thriving. I'm your support system. I'm what helps you not be like, I don't know what, one of those inflated teachers who are surrounded by people who are easy to see that they're supportive. I'm testing to see if you can see that me acting in this rude and disrespectful way is supportive. But not everybody can say that to me. I have to say it for them. I have to say, You know, that's why, you know, at San Francisco Zen Center, where I live most of the time, a lot of people there hate me. I would like to kick me out of there, if they could figure out a way to get rid of me. It's a big piece of shit in the Zen Center, you know. And they like to kind of clean it up, get it out of there. And there are certain places I can go, you know, maybe not here, but some places I can go, and everybody thinks I'm great.

[69:14]

you know, for a short time. ...places for short times, and everybody, oh, here he comes, oh, he's so lovely, oh, we love you, and then you leave before they find anything out. So you're constantly bathed in clear and almost very clear thing. And then occasionally somebody asks a pointed question, which is good. He asked a pointed question like, I need that. to see if I can feel like that's stimulating me, that's what, that's the push, that's the envelope, so I go deeper. So I think rather than put it like somebody who actually does something, people, nobody harms me. It's just that I, in my blindness, cannot see that the person's helping me. And, of course, we feel sorry for people who feel abused. And because they feel abused, they are abused.

[70:18]

That's what abuse is. When you feel abused and when you suffer and break down as a result of that abuse and get sick, you're miserable because you feel like you're being abused, even if you're unconscious that you feel like you're abused. So I am trying to that the people who have hurt me really were supporting me. And I need to re-envision my whole history that way. So another thing about these stories is we need to re-envision all these stories of our suffering and get other people to join in the re-envisioning. So again, it isn't that the person may say, I am trying to be mean to you. I do hate you. Yes, I really am. So I would say, it's not that they're trying to hurt me, but rather... And it's very easy to see. Again, another nice thing about being grandparent is that you can see that they're being mean to you, but they're really being mean to you.

[71:24]

But you never fall for that until maybe they're a teenager. They get more skillful then. I guess what I'm finding for what I'm asking is... It sounded to me yesterday like you might actually recommend meditating on how I perceive others, because I do this for the purpose of then asking myself, how can I support them more? But it seems like Nikon is pushing you against meditating on all this for me, but it sounds like you're kind of, if I'm being honest with you, it sounds like you're kind of suggesting that I can bring my perception of others, hurting me, into my witness with this, Yeah, or not so much bring my perception of them hurting me, but bring my perception or think, is it that I don't feel supported? Look around the world and see where don't I believe I'm supporting and where do I feel hesitant to support?

[72:29]

So check out the dark areas of this practice. Check out where you don't want to go and then gently, patiently, patient with yourself because some of the places where you Don't push yourself ahead of schedule there. Do not push yourself into too advanced a practice of throwing yourself together with somebody that you feel not ready to support. But gradually start to open to supporting people that you feel some resistance to. So for example, here's another example. One time I saw somebody who had a really nice pencil, automatic pencil, and he gave it to somebody. And I said, that's a nice pencil. So then he gave me one. And I went home with him. I walked in the house, and my wife said, can I have that pencil? It's a nice pencil. And I said, no. I just barely had it. And I said, no. I wasn't, you know, this is my wife, you know, and this is the pencil, right?

[73:39]

But I wasn't able to just say, sure, I wasn't able to, but I did support her by saying, no. Well, I don't know if she felt that way, but I, that was my way. I said, no, but I felt bad about that no, and I looked at that no, and the next day, the no wasn't there anymore, and the next day, here's the pencil, and she didn't give it back to me. But then I was able to give it. I noticed where the limit was. I looked at it where I wasn't willing to give. And I watched. And then I was able to give. And similarly, when you don't feel like somebody's supporting you, watch it. Oh my God, they are. They are. And then, oh, there's somebody else that's not supporting me. Let's look at it in light of this teaching. Enter that samadhi. Don't force yourself.

[74:39]

No, just listen to the teaching and watch your feeling that they're not. And then it opens. And then you feel this flood of light from this place you can't see. And then you feel, okay, now where else can't, where's the, you know, the boundaries of where you won't, don't feel generous, where you don't want to give your love, where you won't, and accept that there's a boundary there and confess it, and confess it and relax with it, and then it opens. And then there's another door. So sit upright with this teaching and be aware of where there's a blockage and relax with it and it clears. And there's millions of ways to relax with it and millions of ways to look at it. It's not so much, yeah, it's more meditation rather than going on, who are the bad guys?

[75:43]

It's more like, where's the limit of my enlightenment? Where's the limit of my love? Where's the limit of my appreciation of everybody? Buddha appreciates and the enlightened mind appreciates. The enlightened mind is everybody in the state of mutual appreciation. So I think the Nikon in that way is a little, although it shares a lot I think, it's a little bit more

[76:16]

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