I want you to have a direct experience of what I'm talking about, but since I can't force you, I'll talk about something. One of the things I've done in this session is identify you and the lineage, and also identify everyone you meet and the lineage. Talking about how we specifically practice as an experience, or experiment, and to widen

[01:02]

our experience, and how we practice Shikantaza. To climb to the top of a flagpole and jump off, take one more step at the top, this means Shikantaza, or kill the Buddha. Way upward and way downward are the same. I would really like you to have a feeling for our lineage and our teaching, and I hope

[02:02]

if we can practice here together over some time, various teachers will come here to widen our sense of this Buddhist life. Many things I say can be contradictory. Sometimes it's necessary to contradict something, or say it a different way, and sometimes it means at different times this is so, at another time this is so, another thing is so.

[03:09]

So it's up to you in your practice to begin to have a sense, finally an infallible sense of what's right for your practice just now, not to be worried that there's some other advice which seems to contradict what you're doing. Our life is quite ordinary here, and even in Sashin, and the activity of Sashin, I think there should be some ordinary feeling, not different

[04:12]

from any other day, just going about your day here in the Zendo instead of somewhere else, nothing at all special, and we, I hope, can carry that feeling into our activity all the time. But although it's ordinary activity, I hope it conveys our Buddhist life to people who meet us. So they begin to understand something about this ancient way which so many millions of people have practiced, and which our teachers, by practicing the so-called way downward, have brought to us. Way upward means you're practicing for yourself to perfect your practice, to attain enlightenment.

[05:24]

Way downward means you give up practicing for yourself and just do what you can to help others practice. You don't care about enlightenment, your own practice. You practice only to help others. You come to the Zendo mostly because it helps others practice. You practice carefully, not for yourself, but because it helps others practice. This is to jump off the flagpole. To enter the Zendo after enlightenment. To not even know what Buddhism is, to kill the Buddha. To not know the difference between Buddhist and non-Buddhist, or priest and layman. Again, this, by our Zazen practice, is not just an attitude, but actual fact.

[06:41]

When you enter the Zendo and no longer have any idea of attainment or anything, and when in your Zazen you have no idea of anything, no scale, no scale of big or small, good or bad, color or form, you lose all identity. No one is doing Zazen. Of course, first we must be able to have some intention, and deeper and deeper intention to practice. And then we have to see that we actually have some foundation, something we stand on, or

[07:52]

protect, which we have to get rid of. And even after we've gotten rid of any substance, any substantial idea of self, and we're quite flexible and free, with no idea of self, interest particularly in our activity, still there will be some secret area which we protect. And it may be transmission or our desire to carry Buddhism forward, or to transmit Buddhism, or to be a link in Buddhism, or to acknowledge our great debt to our parents and many people,

[08:55]

our teachers, many people who have helped us. Or it may be the sense to offer something by our effort to understand Buddhism. These are surfaces of this secret area. Actually, it's something we protect. We won't give up. When your Shikhandaza is complete, there is no longer this area even, and you are completely gone.

[09:57]

But when you localize yourself again, when you come back, when you find something again in your activity, presents itself as you, this is a new kind of you, made up of everyone. You recognize everyone as you, and at this time you don't, you really can do things, just the same for others as for yourself. This is how Buddhism was passed to us, what lineage means, what descendants mean. Again, it's what this booklet record number 11 is about. Thank you.

[11:18]

The most important thing in your daily activity or practice is to be completely involved in it, completely involved in it. When you are completely involved, not knowing anything else, not the sense of, I must study some book, or I must practice Satsang, or I must go to the Zen dome. This already has some idleness in it. But your body has brought you to the Zen. You don't know how you got there even. When you do things with this complete involvement, then you will find Buddhism, everything. You will find the clue on what you do. So whatever it is, if you just do it completely, this is the best way to practice.

[13:16]

This is the secret of bringing practice into everyday life. Not to do some special practice, but just to do what you do utterly, completely. The more you can do this, the more you will find your teacher accessible, and your friends accessible, and you yourself accessible. This is pretty simple.

[14:34]

I started out this Sashin, a very simple lecture, and we've talked about many things until now. And now I'd like to have it all disappear, and you forget about everything. But it will be there. I studied these book records for a long time with Sri Krishna. I used to work with him on them and read them during lectures. He would have me read the story. And I applied myself to each one as completely as I could. And many times I fell asleep.

[15:38]

I have notes from many of those lectures, and in the middle it just says, suddenly, sleepy. This big gap, the best part, which zonked me out. But in any case, it didn't make any difference what he said, or what I wrote down, or what I studied. It took just my complete attention, and acceptance of this story as a real problem, real question. And one by one, they became some experience of mine.

[16:45]

Sometimes, several years later, I would feel that a story like that had come to existence in my activity. As I said yesterday, my practice is pretty inadequate. And yet, Srikirishi's attitude of, anyway, just do it, he always said. With that attitude, anyway, just do it. This practice, which is not so difficult, will come home to you. We study many things, you know. And Dogen said, we study about transiency and such things, and many sutras.

[17:56]

He said, but mostly these things are not to study. They are obvious, right in front of you. Everything is changing. You don't have to study to see everything is changing. But often times, we study many things, so we don't have to accept them. And we keep studying them, and getting closer, and getting better at it. First, forty percent, soon ninety, ninety-nine percent. But, if you just forget about it, and just do completely what's in front of you, you'll find out a hundred percent. When anybody ever says to me, I can't practice,

[18:59]

I don't, I can't imagine what they're talking about. Because practice is not something separate from your life, or addition to your life, that you can't do. Whatever you are, can be practice, is practice. If you can't come to a Zen Dome, because of your back, that's practice. If you just try to do what you're doing completely, without any idea of self, or for yourself, or gaining idea, that's practice. You can try to do it with some gaining idea, but then you won't be doing it completely. Completely means you do it for its own sake. Not for some other sake.

[20:01]

You do Zazen for its own sake. Your Zazen may be helping many people, and helping you, but you don't have any idea that. You just do it for its own sake. Sitting in truth. Zazen. This way you can get to that experience, which has no scale.

[21:03]

Big or small. Color or form. Things are just there. Just here. Zazen. Zazen.

[22:09]

Something you would like to tell me? Yes. Thank you. Could you speak a bit on how you respond to other people judging you? Thank you. Sometimes I know that I have faith that the situation in itself is for the poor, to understand and say well. But I don't know how to react to someone judging me. You mean you don't want them to? Yes. But sometimes I can go along with what they say anyway,

[23:40]

because some things have been converted and I don't always understand it. But sometimes I... It just bugs me so much that someone is judging me at all, if you're just suggesting something that... I don't know. Well, I try to think about the experience of judging. And generally, my impression is that first people... Well, first of all, if you live in a community like this, you can't avoid it. If you go live in an apartment somewhere, maybe you can avoid it. It will come... When people live together in a sangha or a monastery or a village or any place, everything is communicated. It may not be verbal, but it's communicated. I think it takes the form of suggestion.

[24:51]

Unless the person puts out quite a strong feeling of not wanting to hear even suggestions, then the person carrying around suggestions, they begin to pile up. You have five suggestions and six suggestions. And at a certain point, it turns into judging. You feel, I can never tell that person all these suggestions, because they are such and such a kind of person. And I think the judging occurs. The feeling of judging occurs, not from your end, but from the person offering it. He feels or she feels, maybe I'm being judgmental. I don't like the feeling. Usually when there's some backlog, and you feel that there's no opportunity to say something. If you're...

[26:04]

Usually if you're a fairly open person to receiving things, such suggestions come really as, isn't there a better way to do this, or let me help you do this. There's some resistance that comes as criticism. And there's a lot of resistance that comes as judgment. I don't know what you call judgment. Maybe you just mean suggestion. The best way to practice with such things is to welcome it. You produced it, or whoever, I don't know, just you. But if you didn't exist, there would be nobody judging you. Because of your existence, you are judged. I don't know why I judge myself.

[27:11]

I live it. I enjoy it. Yeah, but how are you going to act so you don't look at yourself? And how are you going to act so other people don't judge you? That's your problem. If you find them judging you, you're acting in some way which causes them to judge you. They may be wrong. It doesn't make any difference. You are producing their inclination to judge you. There may be several people hovering about waiting to judge someone. And they may not judge this one and not judge that one. Because they can't find any place. But they see you. Oh, good target. So, even if they are just waiting to judge someone,

[28:14]

still, why did you make yourself such a good target? Anyway, the more you practice, the less you get criticized. Usually. Because you're not so troublesome. And it then becomes rather nice if someone gives you some... You can feel, of course, some people. But some problem becomes a relief. Gives you something to do. Oh, I must still practice. Do you enjoy the knowledge that you have? Yeah. I think if you are always judging people,

[29:16]

you will get... That's, of course, true. People who go around with all kinds of ideas of who's high and low in their head. Everyone gangs up on them to make them low. Unfortunately. But our karma... I was talking about discontinuous time. If you can... There is no time. They think I'm terrible. But I must go on. Yes.

[30:22]

Mm-hmm. Actually, it means save... All beings are saved by all beings. There's no I do it. Vows are kept by vows. Yes, children? I would like... Why do you want me to say something about background in Portland? I... I... I... See... All the... Let's just say...

[31:46]

I think about my family and friends... You mean you're saying the field of blessedness is the background? No, I'm not saying any of that. I'm saying there is a background. Everything that's made in this world is a background. What do you mean? Where is the idea of background coming from? Well, it has to be. I mean, heaven would be in the field of blessing.

[32:47]

It isn't? I don't know, but it's not my place. I mean, I can imagine. Clear-cutting. Nothing? Nothing. Well, January itself is, you know, a bad month, or it's not one thing yet. Why don't you say the statement again? What? Say the statement. Tell us the statement again. My mind is a field of blessedness. Please, you say it. My mind is a field of blessedness. Please, you say it. My mind is a field of blessedness. Please, you say it.

[33:47]

That's right. So, you want some background, which is a field of blessedness, which makes washing dishes better? This is background and foreground, host and guest. A very fundamental koan was in one thing, or raising the staff. You should understand on that.

[34:57]

Yeah. I don't understand how you try to be completely involved in activism. It seems like you try to be involved in it completely, but you're trying to, you know. But sometimes afterwards you notice and say, I was really involved in that. I'm continuing to try. Then you can't do it. That's because in zazen you learn how to untry. You learn how to drop things. If you're doing something and your observer comes in, you learn how to drop it. So in your activity, you can, if you start thinking about it or observing it, you can just let go of that. And that ability comes from zazen.

[36:10]

From Shikantaza. My question is similar to that one. To have no place to be minded and then to have no mind at all, to see if I have nowhere to go and I need to be looking for it. I'm not speaking right now. I'm sorry. It's so confusing. But to say it. Is it like, though, you mentioned Shikantaza and there is something about doing something,

[37:20]

so you're not doing it. Is there a difference? It's right on the edge. As I talked about yesterday, emptiness is an idea which your mind can't reach. Emptiness is not an idea, actually. And Shikantaza is something doing can't reach. So there isn't much I can say. Yesterday I talked about emptiness and this, I've been talking about Shikantaza. And if you continue, as you continue to practice, and you try one alternative after another, eventually only one alternative is left, which you can't do.

[38:24]

So you just stop doing the other alternatives that you can do. And then we don't know. And it's then the way down. Okay. We have many desires for this and that.

[39:58]

Always for some part. But we don't, for some reason, have our desire for understanding human nature itself. Reality itself. It can't be grasped, so we don't have so much desire for it. We can't possess reality itself, or human nature itself, or wholeness itself. So way-seeking mind is when that desire has come up, for what you cannot possibly possess, for what you already are. And it's like the eye trying to see the eye. Our practice is very easy.

[41:13]

You can get a grasp on it, and sense that, well, this is all there is to it, and I can do this. And at the same time, it's completely beyond your grasp. Very difficult, long, iron road. But you can do it, as a woman has a baby. You don't know what you're doing, but you do it completely. Making every detail of the whole world.

[42:18]

Not discriminating. No scale. Finding out how to do things, just as people do things, and at the same time, with that wholeness. To be able to do the part completely, without losing the wholeness, or emptiness, or shikantassa. This is how we practice Buddhism, and enlighten all beings. Thank you very much.

[43:25]

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