So it gives me pleasure to introduce Joe Hockam of Okamura Roshi, who is an old friend of Berkeley Sex Interest. Welcome back. Okamura Roshi is the founding teacher of the Sanshin Zen community in Bloomington, Indiana. He is a student of Kosho Uchiyama Roshi. And this is continuing the practice that he cultivated with Uchiyama Roshi at Kantaiji, and then at Pioneer Valley, Zendō in Westview, Massachusetts, and now in the wilds of Indiana, and everywhere that he goes. His practice, in many ways, his practice is the practice of translation, translating the texts and work

[01:02]

of Dogen and other ancestors and his teachers, and translating the essence of Zen to us here in America. And it's rare. We don't have many Japanese teachers at this point in time who have the skill and the understanding of the tradition and the understanding of us in the West. So we're grateful for his works. Today he's going to be talking about, from his book, Living by Vow. He also, you may have seen others of his books, Realizing Genjokōan, Dogen's extensive record, also Opening the Hand of Thought, which is the work of his teacher, Uchiyama Roshi.

[02:04]

It's a lot of books. And that's what you get when you translate day in, day out, for 30 years or more. When I met Uchiyama Roshi outside Kyoto in 1989, the practice that he's doing now in Bloomington was already that form of the day, that form of practice was already well established. So today we will have a lecture in the morning, and then you're welcome to come back for a lecture in the afternoon, which I think is at 1.40. And after Uchiyama Roshi is gone, I will say something about Dana, not to embarrass him. But now we can just listen and enjoy. Good morning, everyone.

[03:35]

Good morning. I'm very happy being here this morning again. This time, Andrea asked me to talk on my book, Living by Vow. So she asked me in the morning, I should talk about Bodhisattva Vow as an intention and attitude. And in the afternoon, I'm going to talk on the meal chart. So now I'm talking about Living by Vow. This book, I didn't bring my book. But my book is in here. I stopped carrying books because it's heavy. So all my books are in here now. As I wrote in the introduction of Living by Vow,

[04:39]

the contents of this book are based on my lectures at MGMC, or Minnesota Zen Meditation Center. Minnesota Zen Meditation Center was founded by Katagiri Daini Roshi. And he passed away in 1990. And they didn't have a teacher for three years. So they asked me to come to be an intern head teacher for three years. And when I accepted that invitation, I made a decision that I follow Katagiri Roshi's style of practice. I didn't want to change. As an intern teacher, if I change,

[05:43]

after me, Katagiri Roshi decided perhaps to change it again. And I don't think it's a good idea. So I tried to follow Katagiri Roshi's style of practice. And I knew his style of practice. And I knew it's different from my style. My style is my teacher's style, Uchiyama Kosho Roshi's style. Uchiyama Roshi put emphasis on just sitting. And at his temple, named Antaiji, we had a five-day session every month, except February and August, because it's too hot and too cold. And even daily practice, we didn't have chanting. We sat from five to eight, three periods. That's all. And we had breakfast. We never had morning service.

[06:47]

And during session, we didn't have work period, lectures, or chanting, or doksan, anything. Nothing but sitting. So Antaiji monks had a bad reputation. But we couldn't even chant the Heart Sutra without looking at the Sutra book. But I loved that kind of practice. But when Uchiyama Roshi retired in 1975, I went to Zuyoji in Shikoku. And the abbot of Zuyoji was Narasaki Ikko Roshi. And Narasaki Ikko Roshi and his brother and current abbot of Zuyoji, Narasaki Tsugen Roshi, practiced with Katagiri Roshi at Eheiji.

[07:50]

And their teacher was Hashimoto Eiko Roshi. So the practice of Zuyoji and Katagiri Roshi introduced to this country is the same kind of practice. And then I practiced at Zuyoji only for six months in order to get a qualification as a teacher. Because at that time, I was going to Massachusetts and to get a visa. I needed a qualification from the Soto-shin. That was the only reason I went there. And when I was practicing there, I was happy for seven days.

[08:54]

That was during... What is the word? I forget the word. Tangaryo. During Tangaryo, I could sit all day. But after Tangaryo was over, they had many forms and ceremonies and rituals. And they didn't sit so much. It was kind of very different. And I was not happy. So from the very first day, I started to count how many more days I have to sit. I think usually they sit two periods in the morning and one or two periods in the evening. But often evenings were cancelled to study the forms and ceremonies.

[09:58]

So I knew that kind of practice, and I knew I didn't like it. So I accepted an invitation from NZMC and decided to follow Katagi Roshi's form and style of practice was a big challenge to me. It's a big change. Before that, for 20 years, I really followed Uchi An Roshi's style of practice. During Sesshin, I did nothing but sitting. But when I started to teach at NZMC, during Sesshin, we had chanting, and Oryo Kimi, and I need to give lectures, and work period, and Dokusan. And I have to do it as a teacher.

[11:03]

That means I cannot complain about what I was doing. When I was a young training monk, I could complain. I didn't like that. So when I started to teach at NZMC, I tried to find a common ground of Uchi An Roshi's style of practice and Katagi Roshi's style of practice. And of course there are very stable common grounds. Actually, Hashimoto Eko Roshi, the teacher of Katagi Roshi, and Narasaki Ikko Roshi, and Sawaki Roshi were very close friends. They practiced together under the guidance of Oka Sotan Roshi, and also Kishizawa Yan Roshi,

[12:06]

those three important Sotozen teachers practiced together at Shuzenji, a monastery in Shizuoka, under Oka Sotan Roshi. So they are all connected. That was one common ground. But Sawaki Roshi and Hashimoto Roshi were very different, and very good and close friends. They both put emphasis on Nihoe, Okasana, or Rakusu. So in Sawaki Roshi's lineage and Katagi Roshi's lineage in Japan, we saw Nihoe. And in this country, even in Suzuki Roshi's lineage, they adopted the same style of sewing. So there is a common ground. But I need a deeper common ground.

[13:09]

And I remember that Uchiyama Roshi put very much emphasis on Bodhisattva Vow. As I said, we almost never chanted. But before and after Uchiyama Roshi's lectures, we chanted. I think usually in Soto Zen centers, before the lecture, we chanted the verse of the Opening Sutras. And after the lecture, we chanted the Four Bodhisattva Vows. But Uchiyama Roshi changed. He asked us to change both before and after the lecture the Four Bodhisattva Vows. So, you know, the Four Bodhisattva Vows. Four Vows. Only kind of verse or chanting we did at Antaichi regularly.

[14:12]

And, you know, Katagi Roshi also put very much emphasis on Vow. And when he established MZMC, he named his temple as Gansho-ji. And Gansho came from one of the definitions of Bodhisattva, what Bodhisattva is. Gan means Vow and Sho means living or be born. So, Gansho-ji means Temple of Living by Vow. So, when I started to teach at MZMC, first I talked about Four Bodhisattva Vows. I thought that was the common ground of all of our practice

[15:15]

in Dogen Zenji's tradition. So, first thing I taught in Minneapolis was Four Bodhisattva Vows. And this is really strange Vows to me. You know, the first Vow is beings are numberless. We vow to save them. Some American people don't like that this was save. So, change it like a freedom or something like that. But, this is a translation of Japanese or Chinese expression Shujo Muhen Seigan Do. Shujo Muhen Seigan Do means beings are numberless, living beings

[16:18]

are numberless, means infinite. And, we vow to save them means we vow to save them all. If beings are numberless, there is no time we can complete this Vow. So, this Vow is really endless. This Vow cannot be a goal. And, other three are the same. You know, delusions are un-exhaustible. Then, how can we put an end to them? And, Dharma gates are boundless means Buddha's teachings, Buddhist teachings are really limitless. But, I vow to master them completely. And, it's not possible. And, Buddha's way means Buddha's awakening. Buddha's awakening is unsurpassable, means there is no way to go there.

[17:19]

But, we vow to realize it. So, our Vow is kind of a strange thing. We vow, try to accomplish something we cannot accomplish. You know, I think clever people cannot be a Bodhisattva. You know, this is really kind of a strange vow. We vow to do something we cannot do it. This is really nonsense in our common logic. But, I think this is a very important point. That means our Vow is endless. No way to accomplish. achieving the Vow is not the goal or something we need to reach.

[18:21]

That is in our common logic it's nonsense. But, as a practice or a Bodhisattva practice this is a really important point. That means we vow to do something we cannot achieve it. That means these Vows are not the goal. But, this Vow is our direction. And, toward that direction, we need to take each step, each time, each day, what we can do. Because, because anyway, this is not possible to achieve it. Not to achieve it is not a negative thing. It's a matter of course. So, we don't need to be to feel guilty or to be

[19:24]

shameful or to be small. Even we cannot practice and achieve so much. There is no such measurement how much we achieve. Because, if we compare with the infinite, whatever we achieve is limited. So, we don't need to feel weak and guilty. But, no matter how much we could achieve, we cannot be proud of it. So, we need to be free from our self-judgment or evaluation. I cannot be proud I have been so much. I don't need to feel sorry about I couldn't do so much.

[20:25]

But, important point is, I do what I can do at this moment step by step. So, you know, these vows are for all bodhisattvas not only particular bodhisattvas. And, I see many people who were orchestra or lakshmi that means you have already taken this strange vow. I'm sorry about that. But, each person has different capability, different like and dislike, and different background. So, in order to walk this direction of endless vow, we need to take particular vows. Each person needs to take particular vows

[21:28]

that we can accomplish in this lifetime with joy. So, there are two kinds of vows. One is those four bodhisattva vows that is called shigu seigan that means general vows for all bodhisattvas. And, based on those all bodhisattvas vows each person needs to take the person's particular vow what I want to do in this lifetime using this body and mind. And, we need to find something we can enjoy. And, in the case of Uchiyama Roshi his personal vow is to sit thoroughly and share

[22:29]

this zazen with younger people or next generation and continue this practice. And also his second vow is writing a text about the meaning or significance of this zazen practice for modern people. There are huge libraries of Buddhist scriptures and particularly in Soto Zen tradition Dogen Zen's writing was very foundational. But, all those scriptures written in Sanskrit, Chinese, or Shobo Genzo written in Japanese are difficult to understand. In order to understand them we have to really focus on studying. Only scholars can do that if we want to practice

[23:31]

instead of devote our lives to just studying. That was my first kind of a problem when I was a university student. I wanted to I liked studying and yet I wanted to practice. And while I was studying Buddhism I had reached a certain point where I had to make a decision whether I had to become a scholar or a practitioner. If I wanted to become a Buddhist scholar the first thing I had to do was study languages and study Buddhist teachings in different scriptures. And I thought it took my entire life and no time to study

[24:32]

and practice. But what I really wanted to do was practice. To me at that time studying to become a scholar is like studying or reading recipes. Reading recipes without cooking or tasting it. But I wanted to learn how to cook and how to taste the Dharma and share the nutrition with other people. To do so I had to make a choice to become a monk or a priest. That's why I became Uchiyama Roshi's disciple. So at that time I already made a choice but when I

[25:33]

started to practice atantaji with my teacher this practice of just sitting I even though I didn't want to study the recipes but when I really started to practice I found that it's not possible to practice without knowing any recipes. Another practice we have to do atantaji was cooking. Practitioners in turn prepare meals. I knew that when I was a student in Tokyo I tried to learn how to cook using some cookbook. That was really helpful for me. If we know nothing about recipes it's really difficult to cook.

[26:34]

Buddhist practice or Zen practice is the same thing. If we know nothing about Buddhist teaching or Zen teaching and just start to practice in a monastery it's really difficult. And many people, I know at least some people, just quit because what they have to do at the monastery was different from what they had a fantasy about Zen practice. In order to actually practice and cook and taste the Dharma we need certain knowledge and understanding of Buddhist teaching and of Zen teaching. It's really difficult to study those scriptures and texts in their original languages. So, you know,

[27:37]

the scholars' works are really helpful for us practitioners to have certain understanding. So, in that sense, scholars work for reading recipes and putting everything together and make it accessible for practitioners is really meaningful. But I don't think that was what I wanted to do. So, each person if they really want to devote their life to studying Buddhist texts that's one way of practice based on their vow. And my vow was different. you know, Uchiyama Roshi's style of practice and Katagi Roshi's

[28:40]

style of practice are both based on Bodhisattva vows. And if we want to do really just sitting like Uchiyama Roshi, that should be based on Bodhisattva vows. And if we want to practice with more formality, then that must be that person's vow. So, in whatever actual style, actual concrete style of practice we choose that should be based on the same vows as Bodhisattva's. I think that is a very important point. Otherwise, like when I was young, I went to the Yoji. I didn't like that kind of practice, so I made a kind of judgment. This is not true practice or

[29:41]

genuine practice. You know, Sawaki Roshi and Uchiyama Roshi's style was genuine practice, but they are not genuine. That is not the right thing to do. But often we have, especially when we are young, something we learned, studied first seems genuine. And other style or practice might be something fake or something inferior. So, my practice at MGMC following Katagi Roshi's style was really a great opportunity for me to become free from my clinging to my own style of practice. So, this is a really important point.

[30:42]

Because of my experience at MGMC, after I finished my term there, Japanese Soto School asked me to work for the newly established office named Soto Zen Education Center. The task of that center was to make a bridge between Japanese Soto School and American Soto Zen Centers. And also at that time there was not so much interconnectedness among the American Zen Centers because there are different lineages and they didn't have so much interchange. So, one of the tasks of my

[31:47]

office as I was a director, I had to travel between Japan and America and many Zen Centers within this country. And I had to practice and talk with many teachers from different lineages and they had different styles of practice. So, my experience at MGMC was really helpful for me to interact with those teachers from different backgrounds without having this kind of prejudice or discrimination. My style is best but they are not so good. That kind of concept is really a difficult thing to, you know, overcome. So, that was why

[32:51]

I started my teaching at MGMC to return to this common ground of all Mahāyāna Buddhist practice, that is, Voice of the Babas. Well, I don't have much time to talk about the book, but I'd like to introduce Katagiri Roshi's poem that was very helpful for me when I started to teach at MGMC. This poem is about four, I think, four Noble Truths and Voice of the Babas. This poem appears in the section entitled Katagiri Roshi's poem on Babas. The title of the poem is

[33:54]

Peaceful Life. Peaceful Life. Let me read the entire poem first. Being told that it's impossible one believes in despair, is that so? Being told that it is possible one believes in excitement that's right. But whichever is chosen it does not fit one's heart neatly. Being asked what is unfitting I don't know what it is, but my heart knows somehow. I feel an irresistible desire to know what a mystery

[34:55]

human is. As to this mystery clarifying knowing how to live knowing how to walk with people demonstrating and teaching this is the Buddha. From my human eyes I feel it's really impossible to become a Buddha. But this I regarding what the Buddha does vows to practice to be resolute and tells me yes, I will. Just practice right here now and achieve continuity endlessly forever

[35:55]

this is living in vow. Herein is one's peaceful life found. I think this is a really wonderful poem. And the first part is about the truth of suffering you know being told whether it's possible or impossible or right or wrong or great or not so good that is a kind of human evaluation. And when we are young we are told that whether we are good boy or not good boy when we do something good for them they told me I'm good boy. But if I did something wrong for them they think it's not right. So that is how our system of value is built up within education.

[36:57]

In the beginning within the family from my parents and after I started to go to school from teachers or the books I read or from the entire society I was always told you are good boy or not so good. And that experience created my picture of the world and system of value. And that is a kind of karma because I was born in Japan in certain time soon after World War II. My system of value was made at that time basically. And it was very difficult practice for me to become free from that kind of system of value made

[38:00]

by my experiences within family or school and society. And we usually think that is me. That is my idea or my thinking my system of value and I using that already established before I was really matured I judge other people or other things. That is how we basically how we live in human world. And in Buddhism that is called karmic consciousness or karmic condition. And in order to be Bodhisattva not in order to be but when we feel something not fitting when we have a question about those evaluation

[39:02]

I was taught by parents teachers and society I think we become Bodhisattva. That means we become way seeker. So we try to find the deeper meaning of life or broader way of viewing things. Become free from our baby made way of thinking and doing things. And that is in our actual life in Buddhism called Bodhicitta or way seeking mind. And Katagiri said in the second part of this poem being asked what is unfitting when we started

[40:02]

to question about the message or education from the society we don't know what is wrong or why I have a problem with this. But somehow we have to deepen our questions. That is a process of our studying. And Katagiri said I don't know what it is but my heart knows somehow. I feel an irresistible desire to know. At least I felt when I was a high school student I felt like I was imprisoned within this cell in the prison that is where I was born and educated. And I wanted to go

[41:02]

outside but it's very difficult. That is almost like I had to drop out from the kind of mainstream of Japanese society. But somehow I wanted to be healthy. You know when that was 1960s many people are like me and in this country those young people are called hippies. And somehow I didn't feel I wanted to become hippies. That's something not healthy to me. So I tried to find a kind of healthier way but drop out from that you know money making machine. And that was when I had a chance

[42:03]

to read Uchiyama Roshi's book and I really feel fortunate to have connection with this way of life that is Sawaki Roshi and Uchiyama Roshi's that came from Dogen Zenji and Dogen Zenji's teaching is a part of Mahayana Buddhism and also the origin of this tradition is Shakyamuni Buddha. I really feel I was fortunate to have this connection. So I could be free from Japanese society but I can be healthy. So this desire to know who we are is a healthier way of life when we feel something not healthy in our daily lives in the society. Katagi Roshi continues,

[43:11]

as to this mystery clarifying knowing how to live in a healthy way and knowing how to walk with people, not by myself, it's not my personal individual way of life, but this healthy life should be together with all beings, at least according to Mahayana Buddhism, you know, beings are numberless, we vow to save them. I don't like this word to save, but the original word for this English translation, save is to cross over, means there is a river between Samsara and Nirvana and these are called this shore and other shore and this crossing over from this shore of Samsara to the other shore of Nirvana is what this word

[44:13]

means, so I'm not sure if this word save is a right word or not, to help all beings all beings to cross over this boundary between Samsara and Nirvana. That is Bodhisattva's practice and Buddha's practice. So, here Katagiri Roshi mentioned the cessation of suffering after we get the other shore, that means become Buddha, what is the activity of Buddha is to share what we or Buddha accomplished. If he didn't, actually the very origin of vow in Buddhism was

[45:16]

you know, Buddha stood up from his sitting under the Bodhi tree and walked to the Deer Park to teach those five practitioners. That standing up from his sitting is I think the original point of vow in Buddhism. So as Buddha's children we should follow his example. That means we need to sit under the Bodhi tree but somehow we need to stand up and go outside and share this teaching and practice with others. That is the cessation of suffering. So cessation of suffering is not really simply sitting. Of course we need to sit and we need some people who really focus on sitting but we need

[46:17]

other activity also. In the final part of this poem Kagari Roshi says, from my human eyes I feel it's really impossible to become a Buddha. This is a matter of course that we find our vow is endless. You know, if we think within this lifetime there is no way we accomplish these four vows. So our vow is really endless. But this I regard what the Buddha does vows to practice. We vow to practice to aspire to be resolute determined and tell me

[47:18]

yes I will. In this word, yes I will is the saying all of us have to say during the Jukai ceremony when we receive the precept the teacher read, recite each of the precept and we are asked, do you try to observe this? And we have to say yes I will. So you have already said yes I will. That means we agree to continue this practice rest of our life even after our death. Just practice right now, right here now means because this is not a goal we can achieve what we can do

[48:20]

is only right now, right here at least this one step. And he said we need to continue. So moment by moment, this moment and this activity right now is only actual practice. What we did in the past was already gone. So we cannot be proud of how much I accomplished or we don't need to regret that I didn't practice so much or I did some mistakes. But each moment, right now, right here we are all completely fresh and we need to do something with this fresh mind and this practice is called beginner's mind in Surya Kira's teaching. So we need to be a beginner in each moment. That means we need to be fresh each moment.

[49:20]

And yet the goal is still in the future. It has not yet come. So it's not reality. The real thing is what we are doing right now right here. So we just be attentive and mindful of what I'm doing right now and this activity of this moment takes us to the next step and that is in the next moment that is the only present actual moment. What I'm doing now is already in the past. So this is how we practice step by step, moment by moment or day after day. Just practice right here now and achieve continuity endlessly forever. This is living

[50:25]

in vow. This is the bodhisattva way of life led by vow. I said Katagiroshi the name of Katagiroshi temple was Ganshoji, living by vow or living in vow. That is the opposition of ordinary living beings' way of life, that is Gosho. Gansho and Gosho are opposition. Gosho means living brought by our karma. Instead of being brought by our karma, karma means our past experiences and conditions. Instead of being brought by karma, we are led by vow. That is the difference between bodhisattva and common way of

[51:25]

living beings. And finally, Katagiroshi said, herein is one's peaceful life found. So this is bodhisattva practice led by vow, not by our karma. Karma is our conditioned thinking or idea or desire. So in order to do so, we need to be free from our karma. And we have to do our fresh start at this moment, like here, as a bodhisattva. Vow, bodhisattva. That means how to take even one step toward that direction. That direction means being numberless,

[52:26]

about the same thing, or Buddha's awakening, or Buddha's way is unsurpassable. We vow to realize it. Well, it's already fifteen. Do you have any questions or comments? No questions, good. Please. I just wanted to thank you that things came into focus very clearly for me, and the words that stayed with me, what you said, are in practice no evaluation, just rededication. And that is like the best understanding I've had of the bodhisattva. Thank you. Thank you very much.

[53:28]

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